To The Mom Drowning in Mom Guilt...
Вставка
- Опубліковано 25 чер 2024
- Mom guilt... most of us are struggling with it to some capacity, whether it's working mom guilt, sleep training vs. responsive parenting, formula feeding vs. breastfeeding, guilt around adding another sibling, guilt around yelling at our kids... the list goes on and on!
So today, we're talking all about mom guilt.
CHAPTERS
00:00 - Intro
00:33 - What is Mom Guilt?
01:45 - The Most Common Areas of Mom Guilt
03:58 - Where Does Mom Guilt Come From?
04:45 - Guilt vs. Conviction
05:37 - Compensating for our Mom Guilt
07:12 - How do we Overcome Mom Guilt?
07:17 - Identifying the Source of Expectations
08:00 - Mom Guilt and Social Media
09:46 - Calling out Irrational Thoughts
10:44 - A Gospel Approach to Mom Guilt
13:20 - Allow Yourself to Be Human
16:17 - Watch Your Motives
18:38 - Ask for AND Accept Help
21:01 - Take Care of Your Needs
22:26 - Know Where Your Identity is Found
As moms, sometimes it feels impossible to let go of the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and parent from a place of FREEDOM - but with the right tools, I think it's possible to say goodbye to mom guilt and find MORE contentment and joy in motherhood!
What do you find usually triggers the most mom guilt for you? What areas do you find yourself struggling with mom guilt the most? Would love to open up the comments section on this video as a place for community + prayer!
If you enjoy this video, I would LOVE for you to like, comment + subscribe to support my channel - and share with a friend that would be encouraged by it too. ❤️
ACTIVE DISCOUNT CODES:
-------------
Postpartum hair loss products: save 10% on MOERIE hair care with code "BETH": tinyurl.com/2jdfnf2e
Save 25% on trendy maternity clothing from Pinkblush with code "BETH25": www.pinkblushmaternity.com?aff=3062&
Save 50% on a KiwiCo panda crate subscription: www.kiwico.com/beth
Fable dishware code: “BETHGRACEMOORE.": glnk.io/4y0x/bethgracemoore
Save 10% on your Ruggable order with code "BETHGRACEMOORE10" glnk.io/ljmq/beth-grace-moore
Save 15% on the Happy Healthy Eaters BLW course and meal plan with the code "BETH": happyhealthyeaters.com/?ref=38
Silverette Nipple Covers - bit.ly/3E56Pev CODE: Beth10
What areas do you struggle with mom guilt the most? ❤
Screen time😬
Feeling like I don't feed my kids healthy enough food, feeling like my kids don't enjoy their toys because I can't afford love every and all the cool milestone toys, and certain things.
I feel very guilty to leave my kids… like ever. Even if it’s just a few hours. They’re still really young, my oldest is about to turn 2 and my youngest is almost 8 months and exclusively breastfed so I’m not saying I would ever leave them for days but even when it’s just to go to the store by myself, or take a rest, I feel sooooo guilty. 😞 and some of it stems from the fact that I do really love them and I miss them but a large part of it comes from mom guilt, I feel like such a bad mom for ever leaving them?!?? Is that normal? Ugh I wish I could just step away for a little bit without feeling that way.
Leaving them even for a break to see a friend or an appointment. Or if I lose my patience. Thank you for this video, so helpful!
The income part. My husband is on his last semester of school and we just had our third in November less than a week after our oldest turned three. I was the one working so my husband could focus on school despite being prompted heavily that I should be at home with my kids. I was guilty that I was away, and now that I'm home I feel guilty for not working anymore until my husband graduates in the spring. We trust God though and lean on Him heavily. My husband works part time on campus which was the perfect way to transition me out of work to be with our babies. The guilt is still there, but our trust in God's plan for us is greater.
I can’t even explain how thankful I am for this video. In perfect timing!!! I had a meltdown this morning telling my husband that I feel guilty that I want a break, to breathe for a minute.
Beth! Oh my goodness, this might just be the best video you’ve ever posted. WOW! God did a GOOD WORK IN YOU THROUGH THIS! You have blessed me and I know you’ve blessed so many other moms too. Thank you 🤍🙏🏼
I’m very new to motherhood with my almost 3 month old daughter. I experience a mixture of guilt and intense worry. I am so glad I get to stay home with her and I hope that my worry gets better as she gets older and less fragile. Taking time to myself to pray and read the Bible helps immensely but time like that is hard to come by. Some days I feel great; others not so much. When she sleeps well I feel victorious as a mom and when she doesn’t I feel beaten down. This video helped me immensely; thank you Beth!! Praying for you and your family ❤
I’m usually a silent follower but I just needed to say that I think this is the best video you’ve ever posted. Couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you ❤️
Had me in tears... i cant thank you enough for this video and God speaking through you directly to me🤗
Currently pregnant w/ my first and I can already start to feel the mom guilt creeping in…Am I eating enough nutritious food, am I exercising enough, did I register for all the best things. It’s exhausting! Been working to challenge that inner critic, take every thought captive and replace those thoughts with scripture and truth!! Such a powerful message and video Beth! Thank you❤️❤️
Oh my gosh!!! CONVICTION 🙌🏼 yes!
I have been a teacher for 9 years….and last Friday, I told them I wasn’t coming back next year….
I’m going to stay home to raise my babies🥹🙌🏼
Love this topic you shared
Me too, I just quit my job as a teacher to stay home with my daughter. It was hard and of course I felt guilty for leaving my students but my conviction to stay home is unchangeable.
@@maddie7899 100% same! I felt guilty until I saw my position posted 2 days later and I just realized how quick they are to replace me…but I’m not replaceable as the mommy to my babies so I’m so thankful for what’s in store for me to be able to raise them 💖🩵
I absolutely love how you bring God and scripture into this! 💕 For me it makes so much more sense bringing it back to God.
I hold both of my kids childhood tenderly. Like it’s this delicate, magical, treasure. Because it is.
I didn’t have a good childhood. I often feel like my greatest job is curating childhood. So I try my best to imagine what my child might be fond looking back on. I do a really good job setting up activities and filling our calendar and rounding out his experiences and setting up quality times to connect. I’m good with words of affirmation. I’m good at offering nutritious food.
But for everything I do well, I get very down on myself and hopeless about things I haven’t figured out yet. Like screen time, like playing together specifically. Like feeling like I have balance.
It’s so hard to balance knowing how important our role is and not feeling so unbelievably bad over the smallest misstep. In one hundred moments, if I get one interaction not perfectly, I can’t forget about it.
I have very good emotional regulation because I’ve fought so hard for it in therapy in light of the childhood I had, but I still can’t get past the last time I yelled at my child when he was three and the role I played in escalating that situation.
Mom guilt is so hard. Thank you for the great video with practical tips.
I loved the one about giving myself the grace I give other moms. I would never even think the thoughts I think about myself in regards to another mom
Watching after I cried today from feeling guilty. Thank you so much Beth ❤️
PS - added chapters in the description box so you can navigate to different parts of this video super easily!
Amen!! This was so insightful and helpful. Realizing that comparison and that mom guilt might be coming from a place of pride was honestly mind blowing. I guess I just want to do certain things to because I feel like if others are doing it then I should be too. And feeling like my worth as a mother comes from how much I do for my kids and how well I provide for them… you’ve hit the nail on the head
Ty. I have a 12 yr old son and an 8 year old daughter and I’m about to deliver my second son. Last night I was crying and feeling like a failure. Sometime I place expectations on my kids that they can’t meet and then we all feel like failures. That’s something I’m working hard to fix.
I’ve watched this video over and over again and just WOW!! You have blessed me greatly with this amazing word in my life! I will be rewatching this a lot in the future 🙌🏼🤍
Thank you so much for this video, brought me to tears! I really needed to hear this as a new mom! I really appreciate your content!
I am a ftm with a 13m baby girl and i haven't felt mom guilt at all throughout the whole time as a new mom. I don't really understand why you feel guilty because every mom and everyday your doing your best and that all you can do for your baby. There's only so many hours in the day to do things, its okay to have a relaxed day inside and not go outside. Whatever works for you and your schedule is best. women shouldn't feel guilty for taking an hour or so to relax and have some "me" time. If you are not at your 100% then how are you going to be able to be there for your child and family? It's okay!
I am looking forward to this video, thank you so much!! 🙂💖 I honestly have a prayer request for this, as I have been struggling so bad with mom guilt lately. The enemy has gotten in my head so much lately, I’ve been having such bad anxiety. I’m a young mom of 2 under 2, being 2 months post Partum! I absolutely love my baby girls but have been struggling with such mom guilt over not feeling like I am able to financially do enough for my family. I struggle when I constantly have been asked so many times by people when do I plan on going back to work, or what career path I want to pursue, what my plan is for when the girls are old enough to be in school, ect. I just want to be in the moment and enjoy this season of life, and not have to answer the unknowns right now, but the enemy has really gotten in my head that I am not doing enough for my family. I think it’s also hard when so many random people comment on the fact that me having 2 under 2 must have meant that it was a surprise and not planned, or that I have my hands overly full ( almost in a way where it comes off as if it isn’t supposed to be filled with a joy in this season of life with lot’s of young kids), and I know they don’t mean it in a bad manner, but it’s hard to hear over and over. I really loved the podcast Milena and Jordan recently did where they talked about the goal is to have your hands full, that it is such a joy to have that! 💖 I am praying all the other moms watching and commenting on this video, are being filled with the peace and faith in the Lord and his word that everything is working out all in the perfect time, and having grace in yourselves throughout motherhood! 💖
This is such good timing. Thank you Beth for this video 🤍 so many good points that you brought up and I appreciated every single one. God bless 🙏🏼
I needed this video so much! We had a tough parenting week and the guilt for sure is creeping in on how it was handled 😅
3 mins in & im already crying😂 im honestly struggling so incredibly much with this
Thank you so much for this video from the bottom of my heart ❤
Love the scripture! Thank you for diving into this - definitely feeling mom guilt around screen time as I’m a designer working from home and use my iPad and phone for hours a day to do so. My 12 month old watches me use them when he’s not sleeping or playing - I fear the screen exposure is messing with his development but have faith that what I’m doing is necessary for our family! Plus showing him working from home as an entrepreneur can actually have a positive spin in his development.
9 minutes in and I agree! This was really helpful- thank you! ❤
So so beautifully said! So many good points and practical ways to help while also highlighting just how incredibly important God is in the day to day life with kids ❤️
Best video ever!!! ❤❤❤when I was your age I didn’t have this mental alertness that you have and express in this video.
Now I feel mom guilt about not feeling mom guilt haha it's an encouraging video and topic! God is the only reason we can move forward in grace and he sustains us as moms.
Very powerful, TY!
I needed this so much today
Love this so much.
Wow. This was so so so good for my soul.
Thank you! ❤
So good!!
This is so amazing to hear, thank you for sharing. I’m expecting my first baby boy in May and I already can sense a lot of these feelings. One thing that I know I can find consolation through is asking Mother Mary for her prayers and for her intersession to her Son.
Praying a Litany can also be helpful - below is the Litany of Trust:
From the belief that I have to earn Your love … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear that I am unlovable … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the false security that I have what it takes … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear that trusting You will leave me more destitute … Deliver me, Jesus.
From all suspicion of Your words and promises … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the rebellion against childlike dependency on You … Deliver me, Jesus.
From refusals and reluctances in accepting Your will … Deliver me, Jesus.
From anxiety about the future … Deliver me, Jesus.
From resentment or excessive preoccupation with the past … Deliver me, Jesus.
From restless self-seeking in the present moment … Deliver me, Jesus.
From disbelief in Your love and presence … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being asked to give more than I have … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the belief that my life has no meaning or worth … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of what love demands … Deliver me, Jesus.
From discouragement … Deliver me, Jesus.
That You are continually holding me, sustaining me, loving me … Jesus, I trust in you.
That Your love goes deeper than my sins and failings, and transforms me …Jesus, I trust in you.
That not knowing what tomorrow brings is an invitation to lean on You … Jesus, I trust in you.
That You are with me in my suffering … Jesus, I trust in you.
That my suffering, united to Your own, will bear fruit in this life and the next …Jesus, I trust in you.
That You will not leave me orphan, that You are present in Your Church…Jesus, I trust in you.
That Your plan is better than anything else … Jesus, I trust in you.
That You always hear me, and in Your goodness always respond to me …Jesus, I trust in you.
That You give me the grace to accept forgiveness and to forgive others …Jesus, I trust in you.
That You give me all the strength I need for what is asked …Jesus, I trust in you.
That my life is a gift … Jesus, I trust in you.
That You will teach me to trust You … Jesus, I trust in you.
That You are my Lord and my God … Jesus, I trust in you.
That I am Your beloved one … Jesus, I trust in you.
Amen.
How do you know if God‘s will for you to do something in certain times of your life? - like we want to buy a home but it isn’t everything we want and we just are on the fence what to do! 😅I don’t know where God can show us in this!
I feel this video so much! Having so much mom guilt just drowns you. I love your point of view. Thanks for sharing, me rewatching this video every time I feel guilty, remembering God has covered this!
Nobody is perfect!
Kids need to feel loved and seen and respected as humans. That‘s it.
Instagram is the worse for new moms. I deactivated after I started to feel some guilt and realized how fake some of the videos people post. I wanted to know who I am as a mom. I have been off insta for 4 months and most likely wont activate my account. It feels amazing to find my own way to mom and not someone else's way.
The hair is amazing 😻
Another long comment. So sorry. I hope you like to read...
I love what you said about guilt vs. conviction.
My mom has lived in mom guilt. She often says to me, "I was a failure." She beats herself up for things that we have approached her on and she makes it stress her out instead of as constructive criticism. I then tell her, "I turned out find in the end..." She also guilt trips me, so I have had to accept that my mom soaks in guilt. I refuse to live that way.
I have always known I am a really great mom. When I have thought maybe I should have done something differently, then I start to change it (the conviction part). With my two that are teens, I have seen how amazingly they are growing, and I know I did a good job for sure. I definitely would have done some things differently, so I am now implementing those things to my baby as he grows. Even my older kids tell their baby brother things that they did that they hope he won't. haha. We all grow with experience.
There was a time that I went on a walk with my second child and apologized for when I had yelled or was short with him in the past. I did it a bit more when they were tiny but not as much as they got older. He said, "I don't blame you for those things. You always apologized afterwards, and keep in mind, I was doing wrong and did things on purpose to upset you at times, so it isn't all on you. I learned my lessons from those times. You are really an amazing mom." He said more things like that and was so forgiving and beautiful with his words. He had to have been 13 at the time (he is 15 now). Maybe he was 12.
Children are learning and growing and we are responsible to mold them and guide them.
I did not feed my older children a good diet when they were little. They ate the same 4 things on cycle for years. I didn't know better. I started to introduce new foods to them when they were pre-teens and worked on their palate then. It is never too late. They say they don't like it? Introduce it 20 times slightly to them and eventually they will. My boys have been eating healthier than ever in their teen years. I fixed the issue very slowly. I am starting my baby off differently than how I did them, but I had no guilt about it. Don't live in guilt!
All the things you said were really great! You thought it out so well and have beautiful wisdom. You really are an amazing mom. It is tough to have little ones. It gets easier, I feel. I think when they are about 10 or 11, it becomes easier, but I know some who think the teen years are hardest (I haven't had that experience yet and my oldest is turning 17 next week).
A way to tackle guilt (since you asked) is to know that we all learn from our experiences. Maybe we are like our own mothers and have to decide what type of mom we will be. What good aspects of your own mom do you want to be. What bad aspects of your mom do you want to avoid. Then, think about your child. What type of mom does he or she need? What type of child are they? How can you show yourself and them grace? I always tell new parents especially; your child knows NOTHING and learns EVERYTHING from watching and listening to you. Therefore, maybe make a list of the type of mom you want to be and the things you want to do. Maybe you have to make a daily list. Then, know that not everything will go by the list. Take ease into all things. Be more understanding. Love your child and be patient with them. If you get it wrong, go apologize. Will your child hold it against you forever? If you don't change and grow, they will. If you change and grow, they won't. That simple. Don't beat yourself up. It will teach your child to beat themselves up and bully themselves. That is what I watched my mom do and it is not a good thing to do to yourself. See that you have and will accomplish hard times. If you live in guilt, you will possibly look sad and depressed or hard on yourself and your kids will see it. Is that the type of mom you want for them? Sometimes you won't be able to go outside. It's okay. Think about the other good things you did that day. Don't ruin a whole day based off of one thing you didn't do or did do that you wish you could change.
I’m not a mom yet (pregnant with my first!) but do you think social media/ ability to see what hundreds of thousands moms are doing impacts it? Is it more internal comparison or external? I’m curious how social media impacts it, and appreciate you bringing up this topic!!!!
I breastfed my son 12 months and I still feel guilty for not breastfeeding longer,although my goal was 12 months. I just didn't had enogh milk anymore, and I know that because he cried for hours, and was waking up every hour for feeding 🥺❤️
I’m not even a mom but I know this will be helpful for future me.
Me too.
How would you disciple your kids practically eg what things and resources would you recommend :)?
Beth I would ask u to suggest books to feel every morning the touch of our God. I didn’t find any book easy to read or understand. Maybe there are books only in English and in US and Canada.
Such a great video!!! I love your heart, you seem like the most lovable person, would be great to have a „Beth“ as a close friend in real life
And THANK YOU for telling me that I‘m doing a good job, I really needed that
Dear dear friend always love 😂❤❤😂
I’ve struggled with nutrition in the past. Feeling guilty if I don’t provide my child the healthiest meal. Looking at history has been helpful. God has made our bodies incredibly resilient and strong. A bad day, a bad week, or even a bad season will not ruin our child. God made healthy babies and kids in times of famine and limited healthcare. We can do our very best, but then we have to trust God to take care of the rest.
The love of Jesus is everything to me…giving my life to Jesus and God has only made me do everything out of love and gratitude. It truly is a blessing to be able to raise our children. We all do it differently and that’s ok, as long as your child can feel that love through you, they will be alright. 😊
❤❤
Sadly most of the guilt I have is thanks to my husband.
I love all of your videos, but this is probably my FAVE! It was so affirming 🤍
So true!