remember never to say "I'm sorry for unloading on you and bringing down the mood" instead say "thanks for being there for me, I really appreciate you". one will make your friend uncomfortable and rush to defend you, doing more emotional work whilst the other will make them feel respected
Exactly. I think Vaush has to be very careful in how he talks about not sharing feelings on depression as some will take it as advocating for not talking about it but with a little effort and some give and take you can have a support network that helps you. You just need to remember you are part of the support structure. Small things like a thank you and showing appreciation goes a long way.
For those who want to keep the idea behind this type of interaction in mind, a header would be "considerate" as in considering the effects of one's own words on the feelings of the people you are talking too. I advise combing considerate intentions with the goal of becoming a more encouraging friend. This way one is planting one of the many seeds necessary for a great friendship and quality of life by conditioning the mind to gauge one's own behavior on recognizing (and by extension fixing) whether or not one might not accidentally hurt their friends without noticing.
I love the brutally frank sentiment of Vaush saying to chat, "You are NOT my friends." Some people REALLY need to hear this. No one has ever posted their way out of depression. It just never happens.
@@nickelbuttliterally true, I’ve seen so many people take it the wrong way when myself or anyone else frames self help in a way that detracts from what they are used to ie, a hug box that works to justify and bolster negative feelings or mental illnesses instead of actually working to improve their standard of living (only as far as one’s actual situation actually allows them to change)
@@nickelbutt rarely does anything get me out of a depressive episode until i reach a point of total mental/physical exhaustion. next day i feel cleansed and able to start picking up the pieces.
might i also add that if you drink soda i highly recommend swapping for something without processed sugars, i never realized how fuzzy my head felt after i drank soda until i stopped.
Just cleaned my room after a week long depression spiral and I literally feel so powerful. Please, if you can, please get a good amount of sleep, do basic self care, substitute activities if you need to like if it's hard to shower at the very least just sit down and let the water run on you. Pick up a few things and put them where they belong if you don't have the energy to clean your room. Taking care of yourself physically is so important
Depression doesn't mean you can't be better. It empowers you to know that life isn't going to be constant suffering and the moments that do get bad you get better tooled towards handling them so they're not as devastating.
The part about how non-reciprocal many ranty depressive friends hit hard, because I've had several friends like that and it actually fucked me up pretty deeply. They would go on long rants to me, and I would send them literally pages and pages of praise and encouragement, but when I talked about my problems, all they would send me was a frowny emoji or "*sigh* -_-." It took me a long time to realize that just because someone moans about suicide a lot, has a legitimately hard life, and acts all teary and fragile all the time doesn't mean they're not also a huge, selfish piece of shit. The final straw that broke the camel's back was when my family was literally destitute with only $200 to our collective name, my mother was regularly crying on the kitchen floor, I was failing school, and the only thing that brought us a small amount of joy at that time was an animated movie that had recently come out, and my depressive friend completely freaked the fuck out at me for daring to like it, going on an unhinged rant about why they should bother making "beautiful, unique, REAL" art (they had been accepted into animation school for like two months) when crap like that movie would always get more popular. I didn't bother to reply and they blocked me a few days after.
@@thekarret2066 We have the same struggles as most Americans, but we're definitely a lot better off than we were at that time. The fucked up part though? It was partially because my mom was earning her teaching degree at the time and student teachers are required to go through a period where they work without pay, even if they have families to feed. This is how we treat the people educating our youth.
This is relatable in a few ways, I think every teacher I know has a story where they're in the car parking lot crying into their steering wheel. It's rough out there for sure. I also tend to be a person people open up to and can kind of use as a venting or therapist friend. I can bring a horse to water but like I'm no expert on things and I can't force a horse to drink. Maybe Vaush can but not I.
They probably weren't even seeking for someone to help them. They just wanted attention. They want you to pity them so that their problems seem more real. It really has become an esthetic to be depressed or mentally unwell overall.
If you’re depressed or have a lot of difficult problems in your life, try to make sure that your friendships and relationships never feel like they’re defined by that negativity. Being open with your friends is good, but if you’re venting every time you talk to someone that’ll just BE your dynamic with them after a certain point, and that friendship will probably get pretty toxic and one-note
@Affront to Humanity anyone can get mental help at any level. I've been broke and without insurance but it's no excuse to not try and seek good information and have honest conversations with a close and trusted circle. Trial and error until you get a break through. That's literally all there is to it. It sucks that is the answer and that nobody but yourself can save you no matter how much someone loves you, but that's literally it. Drink lots of water, eat healthier,go outside for more than 5 minutes, block social media sometimes, talk to people who actually want to see you succeed, and do shitty art. Everyday.
@@okamiammy08 So what if you have neither friends nor money? Lmao. Stop looking for excuses. This is literally the same fragile ego mentality right-wingers operate from: "if I accept that anothers' failure could possibly not be their own fault but due to bad luck, I need to also accept that my own success may not entirely be due to my strength of character but at least some luck may have been involved, and I can't handle that thought, boohoo, so better deny the existence of other people's obstacles" Literally "just stop being depressed bro"
@@DaveGrean I mean, I'm at my mental peak right now after almost a decade of depressive, anxious, and overall miserable behavior, and I haven't even seen a counselor or therapist yet. I got a notebook and started journaling, there are other ways for you to help yourself until you can get to a professional.
@@DaveGrean Based. I agree with you, comrade. Fuck was OP talking about? People have no responsibility for their mental health. We have to overhaul the entire medical establishment no matter how long it takes before we can expect people to do the bare minimum attempt to improve their lives. /s
One of the things I stress a lot about why I'm a leftist isn't just about why the positions are good: it's also _how_ they're good, including to yourself. I advocate for unions, fair pay, higher minimum wage and etc because not only will it give me a fulfilling life, it will give so many other people it. It's just as important to pursue that fulfillment AS you advocate just as well, to really exemplify not only to yourself but others (!) that what is believed in is really beneficial to your livelihood. Mindfulness, discipline, fortitude, all of these things are invaluable to learn and demonstrate so you can be happy and a great advocate. Drink water and have a good sleep schedule guys!
Based and redpilled comment! Understanding the personal benefits of your positions and way of live makes it much easier to spread as well. Rightwingers often focus solely on the supposed personal "benefits" of their ideology, they make it a lot about what is good for YOU. Toxic masculinity is good, because YOU can be Top G, millionaires are good, because YOU can be a millionaire, exploiting the poor is good, because YOU can exploit them. Leftist could copy that, as despite what many leftists seem to think, leftism is beneficial also on a direct personal level and is actually fulfilling in contrast to any right wing ideology.
These are all things I probably would have disagreed with when I was in the throes of untreated depression and PTSD, but once I got on the right meds and changed my digital environment (getting rid of the depressive feedback loop on my Facebook and instagram feed), I had all of these revelations. It takes a lot of effort for me to not be as “aggressive” as you are in this clip lol. A lot of people are dedicated to misery because they think that it gives some type of validity to their social standing. In other words, I was afraid of no longer being depressed because it literally felt like being a class traitor (until I got over it)
UA-cam is something special, because it allows people to express themselves visually, aurally, and a whole comment section to convey other words and expression. Turning off Instagram and Facebook was probably a good call, but I may be biased.
While I hardcore agree w/ 99% of this whole rant, it's missing some absolutely essential caveats, therefore I feel strongly that he demonstrates a few GIANT fucking blind spots here - He vastly underestimates the extent to which his being from a loving, non- dysfunctional family contributes to some of his "rules" being much easier for him, since being raised by emotionally stable, mentally present parents who put their kids b4 themselves & teach them healthy habits, makes almost ALL the difference... Plus an even more obvious fact that, here in the land of commodified healthcare, most of us grew up with far less resources than Vaush's family. Vaush's parents didn't let him be homeless as a result of untreated health conditions, simply bc they couldn't be bothered to care about him... as my parents did. Also, ADHD is a neurological condition, & a mental disability... but it is Not a mental illness. I think Vaush forgets not everyone listening that needs it, has access to Adderall (right now ESPECIALLY!😢) & lithium... But he OTOH is guaranteed he always will.... & access to mental health care, bc he was GIVEN a college education, & bc of his loving, supportive family. The comment he made about how much more productive he is than his audience was gross for this reason. And I'm not offended, I know Vaush for all his very high intellect, sometimes lacks life experience & wisdom & is rash in his words. It's just a shame he doesn't realize that he really shouldn't compare himself to others, bc he doesn't know anyone's capabilites but HIS OWN. He's simply not able to put himself in the shoes of ppl w/ very abusive, traumatic childhoods, many who have to go no contact w/ their entire family for their mental well being. A support system isn't something ppl lack just bc they dont see the value in, or try hard enough.
Massive this. He's right in healthy independence and self-sustainability being values we should strive to promote on the left and pointing out unhealthy and self-defeating behavioural patterns that tend to fester here, but some of the delivery felt downright gross and callous. Like, good for him that he's medicated and has access to resources. None of this diminishes his own struggles and the strength it takes to get through them, but he is operating at an advantage that allows for him to be more readily capable. Just, yeah. There are alot of good points I agree with, but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
i get what vaush is saying but my god could be word it better. here’s my hot take: *strive to be the best you can be.* whether that means working out every day n becoming a perfect chad or just getting out of bed n eating some healthy food is the same. good.
I'm honestly scared to watch the video. Almost every single comment here is blaming people for their depression. Saying everyone can just get out of it whenever they want, and that some people just choose to stay depressed rather than simply having failed to get out of it so far. Some absolute POS here even says people stay depressed on purpose 'as an aesthetic'. If what Vaush is saying is even remotely similar - which certainly seems to be the implication since it's nearly EVERY comment - I don't know if I'll ever be able to take him seriously again.
@@DaveGrean honestly the video is pretty victim-blaming and it's gross that he promotes bootstrap theory while claiming to be a leftist. Glad to say he doesn't represent us at all. Honestly nauseating to hear his bad takes wrapped up in "sigma grindset" tripe pretending to be helpful.
@@catboy_official I've watched it and it wasn't nearly as bad as most comments here, but still had some pretty weird moments. Agree with the bootstrap stuff. He's a wealthy guy who could afford diagnosis and medication, and even before he had that there's no reason to assume his depression and ADHD were the worst cases possible. But what I found most shocking of all was his self-report that he apparently doesn't care about people he doesn't know, and that he's convinced everyone is like that. With a fundamentally right-wing personality like that it's surprising he ever became a leftist (guessing his general intellect makes up for that deficit in empathy). Really ruined my view of the guy somewhat. Of course I care if someone I don't know feels like shit, what the fuck?
@@healingtaco1207 I'm a nihilist so I'm afraid those words you just used are nothing but silly, meaningless gibberish to me. If you can't rephrase the idea using language that isn't moralistic and therefore childlike and stupid, it was worthless to begin with. I was merely describing the fact that, unlike Vaush and you (I'm guessing? Why else would you feel so attacked by what I said, lmao), I don't have an antisocial personality disorder and thus have the capacity for human empathy. I can assure you that any dumb moralistic implication only exists inside your tiny subhuman head.
I have depressive tendencies and also what is very likely undiagnosed adhd (with rough patches of executive dysfunction) and he is completely right. Not only is venting not inherently you dealing with your problems but meeting basic physical and psychological needs helps IMMENSELY. I cannot stress enough how much better I'm doing with a new job that is forcing me to exercise, eating regularly, and deliberately planning on going out and doing something for myself in public at least once a week. I still have a long way to go to get to being who I want to be, but progress is absolutely possible! You just have to be willing to try.
It's the "willingness to try" that defeats people before they even get started. If they had "willingness to try" to begin with, no amount of misfortune could ever keep them down. It's almost like you have to train yourself to want something again.
Sometimes there is no way to get out of a headspace without completely changing your environment and stimuli: which isn't of course easily possible for everyone. I know a few people who ended up going to the far right because they were stuck in shitty family life and it was an outlet, and they went too far. I know people on the left who are in the same situation and cope with it in different ways. They try everything, they work out, they change their diet, they take supplements, they try different medications, new hobbies, whatever, and nothing works. Because they are still waking up and having to deal with an abusive family who doesn't appreciate them and they have to give a disproportionate amount of care, especially when drugs or alcohol are involved. Sometimes it's you, or sometimes it's your environment making you that way.
Honestly i can with 100% confidence the only thing that saved my from that cycle was adderall, no matter how hard i tried i just could not break the cycle, finally got ADHD help but during the titration process i ended up takeing too high a dose for what you should really be going for and in the process of being higher than the moon i was able to see the beauty in the world around me, the pro socal nature of the stuff got me outside and hanging out with people, and being safe from falling into a depressive spiral (2 tablets will fix that right up) i was able to address the traumatic shit that was putting me in these thought loops because i could see them, acknowledge it, detangle the feelings involved, accept it and move on. Obviously i backed it off later because going around geeked is not how you live a healthy life but that experence really did set me in the right direction
"They try everything, they work out, they change their diet, they take supplements, they try different medications, new hobbies, whatever, and nothing works" I know you mentioned the situation where they are stuck in an abusive situation leading to this not working. But also, in other cases, where even their current situation is fine, none of that working likely means that they "skipped a step" so to speak. All of these are external changes. They do lead to improvements, but they can be superficial if there's a more emotional core to what they're going through that isn't merely physiological. This is half the reason why most advise is pretty useless. One needs that layer of introspection and specificity to oneself for any of it to even get off the ground.
@@therideneverends1697 I'm glad someone said this I live in an abusive, dysfunctional household now I admit I haven't tried everything I can do to treat my mental disorders but I'm literally not allowed to because i'm literally being held back from doing things for myself by my family yet these same people complain about my mental disorders it's an ugly cycle and I can't wait until I can get out of here
I've had to cut ties with friends who did nothing but dwell on "ooooooh i'm so quirky and depressed oooooo heheee i have anxiety i do be quirkyy," and then cry about not being capable of doing basic human shit like keeping your house clean and then cry about "well i'm mentally ill so i literally can't do anythiiiing" and if you dared to suggest them how to improve things they would start crying and guilt trip you. I didn't pay attention to it until i myself got better, and then started to realize how much this kind of shit KEPT me depressed, kept me in the headspace that "well there is literally no way i could get better because i'm mentally ill and thus i can just cry and have no capability to improve my life". Cuteification of mental illness was a fucking mistake.
what youre describing is literally a symptom of mental illness though, especially the part where you lose all hope to be able to change for the better. i understand you want people to make a concerted effort to improve but basically blaming depressed people for....feeling hopeless and depressed?
Stop fucking lying. This never happened. No one enjoys being depressed. Every single person with depression is trying their hardest to get out of it, and nearly every single person in this comment section is spitting in their face and telling them their failure to get out of it is somehow proof that they aren't trying. Who the fuck wants to be depressed?
As someone who does struggle with depression, what Voosh is saying here is right. Stop making excuses to justify giving up. You aren't going to win everytime but you have to fight against these feelings and work to improve yourself. Start going to the gym, reach out to old friends, find new hobbies, DO THINGS. Giving in without a fight is for cowards, and that ain't you.
My mom has a doctorate in this, and I think one of the most profound thing she said to me about self-improvement was "your mental health, is your responsibility." Period, end of discussion.
I went on r/depression once and there were several people talking about how bad therapy is and just generally dragging each other down and that really fucked with me because I was seriously considering therapy at that time but I was scared and that made me spiral a bit. It really does feel like it drags you down to the point where people start discouraging the best things you could do for your depression. And it's not like there aren't bad therapists or problems with therapy but these people were discounting therapy as a whole because they had a lot of bad therapists when they probably just had really bad luck seeing as when I go places other than r/depression people constantly talk about how therapy changed their life (oh and the data says therapy usually helps).
Gee, it's almost like the first group was in r/depression because they couldn't find a good therapist and thus stayed depressed, while that second group got lucky enough to find one leading to their much more positive attribute.
@@freaki0734 Why would you assume that? Do you have any reasonable arguments or evidence, or is it just something you like to believe? Having had depression in the past I frankly find the idea absurd. And even if I didn't - personally if I have bad expectations about something, but that thing turns out to actually be nice, my inaccurate expectation wouldn't magically render it ineffective, so I just don't get it. If a food tastes nice, the fact that I wrongfully expected it to taste bad has 0 influence on how much I enjoy the taste once I found out I was wrong
Personally, I find the medicine that helps depression works better than therapy, but the medicine alone isn't enough. You also have to work to get to where you want to be in life.
What you're saying is blatantly false. The dude made such a sensible and tempered claim, "SOME people also...". What you are discribing as "ridiculous" is so ubiquitous and obviously true that we have a name for it; confirmation bias. You believe therapy doesn't work, therapy ends up not working. This is a Vuash comment section, we've all had depression. Possibly you are the rare exception that does not experience confirmation bias, but to say NO ONE does? AbsoLUTELY do depressed people fail in therapy because they don't expect it to work and put in halfhearted attempts
Having people with shared experiences in your circle is one of the best attributes our support networks can have, but it's to be used wisely. Not to constantly, or even regularly, just commiserate on relatable misery... But to just have some mutuality to the perspective brought to the table when offering support on times of need, and moreover finding encouragement and triumph...and just living life. So as someone who's wrestled with depression quite deeply, I'd say you're really onto something meaningful.
If you truly feel that way, you're legitimately naive. Not in a mean way, but legit that's an ignorant way of looking at it. The Left, broadly, is immensely lacking in addressing loneliness, self help, and male confidence(healthy non-toxic confidence).
Perhaps this is a breach of that 'Stop venting online' but as someone who's flip-flopped between being the therapist friend to even his parents and then realising I need mental space too and fighting for it, this balanced perspective on how things should be is very much appreciated.
You mean like... every therapist ever? They haven't per-se reacted to this video, but the sentiments expressed here aren't exactly going into uncharted territory. "Sitting around making each other sad is not a productive way to become happy" is a pretty stable fact of psychology.
I fckin' wish this video came out back in 2016. A lot of us "converts" got into far-right politics in the first place because of the promise of self-improvement they preached. I can't even imagine how further along on my path I'd be currently if I heard this massage back in those times from a leftist point of view, in a way less toxic form. The Cause needs this kind of mentality, desperately.
I disagree about venting not actually helping, like I definitely don't get how it can help on social media (though I know a lot of people like "yelling into the void"), but doing so with friends is definitely helpful and not bad as long as they're cool with it. Also, aS sOmEoNe wItH OCD, I do sometimes joke about it, but only with things I actually like about it - it makes me more organized and perfectionistic, which are traits I like about myself. I don't see any problems with that, though it's definitely different for a lot of people
@@Ass_of_Amalek yeah, this is my issue. he is confusing and conflating so many things together that the rant is ultimately unhelpful. the spirit of what he is saying is correct, but its just a mess lol
You say you disagree, then state agreement with everything Vaush said: Venting to randos online is screaming into the void, where as "doing so with friends is definitely helpful and not bad as long as they're cool with it." can be helpful. It's disingenuous for someone to hear "vent", ignore the definition and quantifiers Vaush gives for what he considers "venting" to be, then say "well actually, the kinds of venting that fall outside what you've explicitly stated you mean, aren't necessarily bad." No shit - that's why they aren't in his definition of harmful actions.
@@trianglemoebius Again, Vaush is making a lot of assumptions about people who vent on their social media feed / their timeline. The given account could be an alt account for quarantining negativity, not the main account. The person might mostly have mutuals that have shown themselves to be supportive in private as in public (and may or may not be ppl they already know irl), and don't mind it (if they're still mutuals, that's kind of what that means). Even the Discord vent channel example--if the community doesn't have sufficiently strong cohesion and connection among members, which is more possible when the group is small, and none of them have the ability to enforce their own boundaries, then, yeah, its going to be a shit experience. But I have seen vent channels that don't go to shit like this. One of the benefits of "shouting into the void" is its more efficient, and actually better for keeping friendships: not all of the friends or mutuals have to support that person all of the time, but whoever is available and willing at given moments, and when people get tired of it they can mute your feed. Sending constant DMs and private messages at random times in the day to specific people is way more "burdening." The situation Vaush talks about where people commiserate together by reinforcing each other's inner critic is a very specific one that he intrinsically links to any kind of venting "into the void." Still more, venting online is still better than not venting at all if you happen to *not* have friends you can trust, though its ironically not always safe (one should be cautious). Not venting at all would mean bottling it up. I hold to this even in the worst cases. Vaush seems to think its better to not vent at all than vent "badly." Ultimately, venting no matter how often you do it is literally not harmful--at best, it can be *potentially* harmful to *you*, indirectly, insofar as people can't tolerate it if its too much. Venting around a bunch of other people could or could not be harmful depending on who they are. It has nothing to do with the amount or intensity of venting and entirely on the situation. Vaush is implying there is some level or intensity of venting that is just universally unacceptable. I also suspect Vaush is dangerously conflating different things. Venting is emotional processing through articulating a feeling or bodily sensation freely (affective), letting the body react fully to what it has experienced (somatic), and understanding or trying to understand why that feeling is there or where it comes from (cognitive), and re-engaging your attachment needs for reassurance (interpersonal). Whining, complaining, or ruminating out loud are completely different things. Conflating these with venting is why it sounds like he's saying people should just bottle up their shit instead of potentially bothering or annoying others even if he says that's not what he is saying.
I've had a hard last couple of weeks of feeling down, eating like crap and getting very little done. All of that has made me feel even less likely to do anything, furthering my negative feelings, furthering my desire to do anything, etc. Very easy for things to spiral downward. A bit harsh, but this video was a good reminder that these feelings won't go away by sitting around and mopping about it, and that I should do whatever I can when I can. Even if it's a small.
I think one big problem is what I call "Neurological defeatism". People get a diagnose and think that they can't ever improve on that area. That their brain is just frelled and if they're depressed, they can never be happy because "Neurological reasons". If they have ADHD they can never learn to focus better because... same reason. Same with ASD and social stuff.
I think neurodivergent people generally receive treatment that is opposite to this. People tend not to be very accommodating and expect neurodivergents to meet neurotypical standards without accommodation. The attitude behind this is generally that neurodivergent problems are a matter of willpower and discipline, while they simply aren't. As a person with primarily inattenttive adhd, I can tell I've had numerous times where I've had many wasted several hours not getting anything done despite *really* wanting to get at least started. Supporting neurodivergent people isn't about finding ways through the problems, but around them. It's about finding ways to provide them the conditions under which they can thrive. Your comment gives me the impression you don't take neurological conditions like autism, adhd or even stuff like dyscalculia very seriously. I'm disappointed you decided to add your part to the shit people with neurological conditions already face.
@@tortture3519 The world isn't going to bend that far to accommodate the neurodivergent, there's no incentive to do so. Nobody is going to found a company that hires people with ADHD that don't have a good grip on their condition and therefore produce half the results of alternative neurotypical prospects. No taxpayer or government wants to pay for people to stay home because they refuse to adequately address their depression, or learn to work with neurotypical people, or take their antipsychotics. It's unfair that some people have a harder time existing (amongst normies), life is unfair, but if you believe that those groups of people deserve to life fulfilling lives, those groups of people are going to have to make ends meet. Or you can continue to let them think they're fundamentally broken and facilitate their misery and likely the misery of others as well. That's the alternative to getting better, staying worse than what one could be.
What cured my ADD (mostly) was less so my temporary usage of Ritalin and more so the academic period during which I had to read tons of books. Even though the grindset is very important, it is more important that an individual finds themselves in material circumstances that encourage and support the said grindset. I personally believe we have no right to judge others because we really live in a culture that leaves people utterly alone to the most extreme point that not one person cares whether you live or die. I was lucky I found myself in circumstances that led to my self-improvement in this case, but we really aren't trying to construct any civilizational infrastructure in order to assure more people will be that lucky. And since we don't, we don't get to judge others' malfunctioning.
I think I can broadly agree with the sentiment of what you're saying, but you're treading awfully close to shit like telling a depressed person to just be happy. Mental illness is real illness, not just a matter of thought patterns or willpower. You can always strive to improve your situation, but you can't think yourself out of Bipolar Disorder, you can't will yourself out of ADHD.
@@aramilalpha1 both things are true. When I got my diagnosis about 12 years ago there was a brief moment where I was excited to know what was wrong with me and then a good long time where my brain sort of luxuriated in the miserable idea that I was hopeless and broken and that the patterns in my life were set. That was an aspect of my mental illness more than an objective view of the situation, which is that plenty of people have what I have and manage to navigate the world and even get better if not “normal”, or the idea that many more people have mental health issues than you know because these are things that historically we didn’t talk about it. Today, I am not “cured”, but my life is so much better, and it took work and therapy and medication. I can pass as a normie now, and plenty of people think I’m fine. Internally my brain still does what it did, but I have ways to manage that now. I guess I think sharing these things online is good in that it shows people that they aren’t alone. But it can also damage other people’s mental health by making them feel even more hopeless. I think people who have struggled with mental health and made it through should be more open about that as well. Mental illness is a real physical thing that you just can’t think your way out of, but your life still has value and you can be happy, even if your brain doesn’t organically want to be
i love the „dont vent“ stuff specifically because it will lead people who already feel like a huge burden to reach out even less because they feel guilty over sharing their struggles. i for one hate the thought of being perceived the way vaush described. thats why i just kind of stopped talking to anyone.
The venting is fine, it's the context that you vent. If you're telling everyone, traumadumping like your life depended on it, that's bad. Find people who can shoulder that burden first- ask.
@@pissfather6798 i did but it still doesn't make sense. some people might be harmed by a thing but i don't think that means we shouldn't do/say that thing. especially when it can help more people than it harms.
I don't know if Vaush has had a lot of therapy but one of the concepts that helped me the most is that guilt is in fact a useless emotion. It's just a social coping mechanism to resolve disputes. It's an attempt to subdue the urge to do anything about your fuckups or confront people honestly. If you feel guilty about something stop that and do something about it, even if that something is egotistical. Don't absolve yourself of the responsibility of living your life by subjecting yourself to selfimposed punishment.
I agree that guilt can be paralyzing. But I think the original point of guilt is to stop you from doing bad things in the future. Sometimes it even motivates you to do good things. But it can absolutely stop you from doing good things if you use it as an excuse to pull away rather than to make amends for your behavior.
@@greywolf7577 Not really. There is no such thing as "good" and "bad" in nature. Your brain is designed to socialize with a group and since cavemen didn't have access to the modern luxury that is the prison industrial complex we evolved failsafes to stop us from killing everyone that ever wronged us. Guilt is a form of punishment meant to disuade other people from seeking revenge on you. If what you were saying were true we wouldnt be hardwired to forgive people who show remorse. If the purpose of guilt was to fix our mistakes we would want to forgive people who have repaid their mistakes. In actuality, most people would not forgive someone who gave back the money they were caught stealing unless they showed guilt for having commited the crime.
@@tortture3519 It's literally the other way around. Shame is a very effective way of keeping people in line assuming you live around people who have a lot of shame. That's why you don't hear idiots complaining about face masks in SEA where people were already too ashamed to cough in public and wore face masks out of politeness.
Self Improvement AND Self Love is needed. I've been stuck in that hole. In the dark hole. I have self improved and have gotten to be a better person. I've worked out of my depression. I'm trying to get out of my toxic household. I'm trying to get stronger socially and emotionally and physically. WE all need self improvement. WE are not perfect. Life needs to be lived to its fullest. We need to break out of that shell of self hatred and depression. I need to work on myself if I'm being honest. I have 2 discord accounts. I use them for a lot. Like if I see something interesting I send it to the alt. I also vent to that alt account. Because I know none of my friends don't want to hear that shit. Sorry about the 2 paragraphs. Just wanted to share my opinions.
I like your two paragraphs. It's inspiring to hear from people who have worked themselves out of a hole. Keep sharing. You never know how it might affect someone.
1. Depression sucks, but people are pretending to have it as an excuse to not do anything. 2. Same goes for chronic anxiety. 3. ADD/ADHD is not whatever quirky 🤪 nonsense you want it to be... Also isn't an excuse to never do anything. 4. Autism is a thing... but not as many of you have it as you think. 5. If you feel you suffer from any of these... seek help, genuin help. And remember to always move forward in life.
I've never been diagnosed with a mental illness (frankly no idea whether I have one or not, which makes me think probably not but I don't know), but I've gone through very rough patches in life, including a year where I was dealing with some s**cidal ideation. Without fail, the way I've gotten out of those periods has been making a concerted effort to fix my sleep schedule, picking up a hobby that feels productive, something creative with a tangible end product you can see and be proud of, not just "I like videogames and anime" (currently I'm making video reviews, which have the benefit of having very easily checkmarkeable steps so that every few days I can feel like "I finished taking notes" - "I finished the script" -"I've edited the script to be good" - "I recorded the audio" - "I did the audio editing" - "I did the video editing" etc etc) and setting myself an exercise goal small enough that I know I won't make excuses to not do it (even if it's something tiny like "run 10 minutes a day" - the goal is to actually DO it, you can make slowly it bigger later). The difference is night and day, life goes from feeling like it's not worth living to actually being enjoyable - I have energy, I don't feel like shit, I feel accomplished. It's not easy to do, but it beats having to wonder whether getting out of bed is worth it because I'm going to feel like human garbage either way every morning.
Couldn't agree more. I would've left a supportive comment if he wasn't such a c***** about it (and lying about bootstrap theory being true, because everyone knows it's bs). The message is great but good lord he's insufferable in this video. Came here from another where he was pleasant, level-headed and gave a balanced arguement and good criticism of someone's video so I imagine he's pleasant most of the time. He just woke up and chose to be an ass about mental illness I guess 😅
He's a cisman so he assumes people care about proving themselves to other people. I find abrasiveness only tends to work with typically competitive cismen.
Personally i really like his more direct approach a lot more than the sorta chill "hey, its gonna be alright be buddy" i think mainly because the people in my life do a lot of the latter and not the former
I unironically do believe in self improvement and reaching ones potential. I used to be a borderline NEET and now I'm building my own career path, had a glow up, and self taught myself some skills. You learn a lot from it, the experience has so much to teach that it is hard to put into words. I also have a mistress, a girlfriend, and a homie with benefits and people find me attractive now which is an entirely new challenge for me. You can manipulate your environment if you try hard enough Edit: the comments were very supportive and I appreciate seeing all the kindness, I hope all of you reach your potential one day!
@@LaurentIpsum Ngl... I learned how to talk to people at bars and clubs. Would go there alone or with a friend depending on the location and just strike up small talk with people and tried to learn as much as possible. There's lots of information that you pick up like eye contact, body language, tone, word choice, subtext, etc ^^ I tend to approach things at a cautiously optimistic manner and got comfortable embarrassing myself from time to time. The magic zone is everywhere *outside* your comfort zone.
@@LaurentIpsum also eating healthy, having diverse interests, being curious about things, sleeping regularly, and grooming and sunlight helps a lot. Little changes to your mood can change how people perceive you... People tell me I smile a lot and glow sometimes which is really flattering. I practiced smiling on my morning walks and in the mirror, it was a process. Kindness and friendship is a lifehack, my relationships have strong foundations in companionship before romantic or sexual ideas take place
Jesus Christ... Vaush's mental health takes are about as good as his media takes. I'm not saying it's ALL trash, but it's really not worth sorting through. Having said that, Vaush is right about at last one thing here (and not much more): You do have to work yourself, you do have to develop discipline. Wallowing really won't do anything, not even make you feel better.
@@rorschachwatchmen4742 I am an anarchist and not even mentally ill but I have heard these same kind of rhetoric from manosphere types and most of them people who have these kind of problems have criticized these talking points. I don't think they'll change their mind because a leftie also says it. Don't get me wrong, I don't think vaush is bad but I have a major problem with how much his rhetoric is based on him trying to appeal to the right-leaning audience. Self-improvement is good, we shouldn't do it show that lefties are muscular and we also should be open to people going about self-improvement in their own ways unlike the dogmatic way that the right does it. I get what vaush feels about the left but I just don't think we should try to even attract the crowd that thinks a person being buff is an absolute evidence that their character is......good? Cool? Idk what they think.
@Jo Jo You don't even need to train hard. On the contrary, training ''hard'' can actually be detrimental if all you try to do is to get reasonably fit. You need discipline, yes, but at the same time you also need to know when too much is too much.
@10:40 guilt is not useless, it is useful for learning empathy and sympathy and creating a moral compass. It encourages introspection. Holding on to it for long periods of time and beating yourself up however, THAT is useless and unhealthy. I somehow doubt that he's never felt guilty about anything, unless he's a sociopath
No him saying that was hyperbole. Vaush isn’t really saying that nobody should ever feel guilty in the strictest sense. He’s just saying that lingering on guilt is unproductive. He could have been more specific with his word choice, but I think that would have actually lessened the emotional impact of his statement. To someone who does dwell on their feelings of guilt too much, saying “I have never felt guilty for anything in my life,” is more beneficial than a more measured, precise description.
@@Ass_of_Amalek When you exaggerate, you lose some precision in what you want to say in exchange for expressing a general sentiment with more weight. Seeing as how the disagreements about Vaush’s statement are semantic, about the meaning of the word guilt rather than the sentiment he is trying to convey, I think the hyperbole is appropriate in this situation.
@@Ass_of_Amalek often he's plenty forthcoming with how he feels about things and what he says, however I think that in this case yeah, by the sounds of it he did a poor job articulating his point. I don't think he's a narcissist, he just puts his foot in his mouth sometimes, such as in this video, in my opinion. His poor choice of words ended up unintentionally undermining his message in my opinion
I didn't know he had npd, where did he disclose this? he usually doesn't bring up his mental health or medical history so that's very surprising for me.
I don't think many people would try to argue that guilt is something to strive for on purpose, but rather it's a natural consequence of having values and realizing you haven't met them. To brag that you've never felt guilty seems a little over the top.
I can completely understand wanting to vent about how depressed or angry or just generally upset you are. But, by continuing to do it over and over again. It only makes other people depressed. When I am upset I'll talk to my friends. But, ultimately its my therapist that will help me with my issues.
As much as he hates doing it, I don't think Vaush would turn down Rogan. I'm not a Rogan fan but Vaush seems too normal to ever be invited on that show.
god the stuff u said about venting is a really important message. it's good to share what you've been going through with someone you're close to, I've done that a bit recently and I always feel so much better afterwards. If you have serious mental health issues go see a therapist, your friends are just there to give a bit of advice and for updates with what's going on with you generally
I realised this a couple years ago and have stopped sharing memes that are like "ecks dee I'm so depressed!" bc it would make me feel worse sharing them, and seeing other people share them also made me feel worse (I've muted some Facebook friends who do it because it's so draining to see). As for being friends with other people with mental health struggles, I think it's completely fine if they're the type who doesn't want to define themselves by their mental illness, and don't just use you as a vent sponge. Also if you're struggling mentally, I definitely recommend getting some blood work done and checking to see if you have something like ADHD. I have been struggling with extreme fatigue for a while, had some blood work done and it turns out my iron levels were dangerously low and I classify as anaemic. Getting this stuff checked out may solve the root of your issues, or at least address an element of things and reduce your suffering.
Agree on both the getting blood work and kicking “negative self talk” A lot of Americans are prone to hypo-thyroid which can have negative mental health symptoms. Cheap to treat with generic meds and bam suddenly feel better.
@@LizStaples Very true (not American myself but I am aware thyroid issues are pretty common in the UK too). Plenty of issues can be eased with supplements too. A blood test can easily determine if you have low Vitamin D (common in the UK, as we don't get a lot of sun in winter and our weather isn't too sunny), iron (as with me, also very common in pregnant/menstruating people), vitamin C, etc. which can be easily rectified with dietary changes or supplements.
Ehhhh on the guilt part, iirc having a tendency to feel guilt statistically is linked to being more reliable and conscientious. Vaush could be talking about a more self-wallowing type of guilt, which probably is useless, but for me I tend to be kicked into gear by "people are counting on you, don't let them down" type guilt.
I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I'm fairly certain I have Asperger's and possibly PTSD (due to some really fucked up shit in my 20s), but I still go to work and do my goddamn best. As long as I'm doing my best, it makes everything so much easier to accept. AND I work with hundreds of patients each day! As a fucking mentally ill introvert! 😂😂 In fact, I feel like even though the job is exhausting, it helps me in the long run because it keeps me connected to society at large. I'd probably be some hermit if I didn't have this job. Anyways I completely forget where I was going with this, lmao Have a good day, y'all ❤
This reminds me of a friend i have. I care about him a great deal but every time I hear from him he's complaining about depression and being single. I can only hear so many times how much you hate yourself.
Some things are really hard for people, man. That’s not an excuse not to try. I couldn’t leave my house for a few years. It took me a long time to even be close to ok and it’s exhausting. Physically it weighs you down. No matter how much weight I lost or how much loneliness I felt I just couldn’t bring myself to go out. „Go out and do what? With who? Now I have to find people? What if I don’t find people? What if I’m just as alone as I am now? What if somebody’s mean to me the ONE time I leave the house?“ It’s sickening and I hate myself but saying „this should be easy“ had done nothing but make me feel WORSE for being in the same position I’ve been in for the last 6 years. I hate myself I hate what I do I hate that I can’t stop I need serious help …but that’s also why I don’t vent online anymore.
Look. Honestly, say you do go outside and all your worst fears come to pass. How is that materially different from what your everyday life is like anyway? You go out and don't make friends? You didn't have any in the first place, so you're not any worse off than you already are. You're already on the internet, I doubt that you don't see people being mean to you for no reason even without going outside. Go do stuff in the next town over, that way you already were never going to interact with these people anyway. If something good comes out of it, great. If not, you're not any worse off and can go try something else later. Embrace the optimistic side of nihilism. Nothing matters, so neither do your fuckups.
democracy in the workplace is kinda the more manly thing (and also like good for other people, i have like zero wish to be manly personally) like you get a voice, you get control over your life, instead of like being a little bitch boy for your unelected bosses while you make them more money than the crumbs they give you
As someone who’s had an especially difficult upbringing physically and emotionally abusive parents and the such I actually find pessimism really off putting iv known people who are just “Yh I’m so depressed and there’s no hope whatsoever lmao” and honestly iv just cut those people out of my life because all they do is bring you down with them surround yourself with more optimistic people and not people who make a a character quirk that they are inherently broken that shit is just bad for everyone.
It's important to be prepared for worst case scenarios. In the us the worst case scenarios are shit. You just don't get to retire. Vacation adequately. You have to be in like the top 40% to even start to have any form of decent retirement. That's not a good outlook.
I am extremely pessimistic but I never get why that has to lead to hopelessness. Yes, everything is shit and the world is fucked. So even if you do a little bit to make it better you can create something special. Yes, the odds are insurmountable, so if you fail once or twice or all the time there's no need to feel bad about it. Yes, everything is going to fall down and society will inevitably collapse, so why not pass the popcorn and have fun watching the fire?
All is true. From how para social relationships aren’t real to how discipline is freeing. When someone captures how viscerally annoyed you feel about the same types of people, feels pretty good.
Guys, i hate to say it, but getting a decent sleep schedule, waking up early to go work out, eating healthier, quitting smoking, and getting medicated for my depression was the best shit I ever did for myself. I've never felt happier. Touching grass works.
"buy rice and beans" advice was a throwaway but honestly Lentils and Rice feels like a cheat code. cheapest foods in the grocery store, don't need refrigeration bc they don't go bad? sick Also the combo of turmeric and black pepper works wonders for inflammation which can reduce depression symptoms. If y'all have cooking rec's lmk.
While I do agree with the message, the idea that breaking out of depression is about just cheering up is just expressing ignorance. I once heard a very good description of how a bad depression feels: imagine laying in bed feeling absolutely miserable. At a table 3 feet away is a pill that you know for a fact will make everything good, but you can't motivate yourself to take a step and reach for it. When you're in that place it's almost impossible to break out of it without help. Clinical depression isn't melancholy or feeling sad, it's a debilitating state that makes you feel and want nothing and where everything feels like an insurmountable obstacle.
Idk, I feel like this is one of Vaush's rare bad takes. I agree that we should be promoting things like mental assistance and self discipline but he's using his own anecdotal experience and bias to assume that venting on the internet is bad. Let's say that you vent into the void, at least you released these pent up emotions that you've been holding on to but haven't found a place to do it. That means a lot to people.
This is really dumb. It's the logic of an addict in denial. There is literally no activity you can engage in where you can say "I'll do this once so that I no longer feel the urge to do it again." The more you do something the more you get in the habit of doing it. This is just obvious. There's literally an infinite number of ways to express your emotions positively but venting to the void is easily the worst thing you can do without resorting to crime.
You can do that with a piece of paper, there's no need to put those thoguhts on other people unless you're looking for validation or reassurance, in which case that's not really venting.
@@Jesusblowsme666 I can't really do that since I don't get a say in what the social media algorithm gods decide to show me, unless I preemptively blocked anyone who could potentially vent post. What people can actually do is type a text document or write on a piece of paper instead of social media. If it's actually about venting that's exactly the same but with less negativity for others.
It is an enigma. The people who are capable of self-help are usually the people who don't need it and the people who need it are rarely able to utilize it. That's why we have therapists.
In my experience, there are some people who complain to vent, and there are others who complain to wallow. The trick is to figure out which one you are, because if you are the latter, it only makes things worse.
I think you need more concrete examples of what productivity looks like! Just like "discipline", "productivity" is an incredibly loaded term that's been so woven into the capitalist fabric of society that many lefties are rightfully cautiously skeptical about. In order to eliminate that confusion and to get at the heart of the issue; what makes your brand of self improvement different than "rise and grind" hustle culture? I agree with you that in general the opposition to capitalist grindset, the so called "opposition" to that mindset is to be effete in the face of capitalist purgatory. But what does an Effective alternative look like?
I eschew those terms entirely. Instead ways of doing things that are in line with how my mind works, and doing things "because I should" (basically what discipline is) never works for me.
"You can die from someone else's misery - emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man, but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead." - Robert Greene
if you haven’t made friends out of random online people you vent to then you’re doing it wrong. it’s cool that being vulnerable and normalizing mental health issues in this way isn’t the thing for you. for some of us, it helps us get started when we don’t feel so alone. cut this bullshit out.
💯 I wouldn't have ever even begun therapy or found semi-enduring positive connections if I hadn't made those first steps at being vulnerable in a space I felt safest. I do know who Vaush is talking to in this segment.
Rare L from vaush, what's wrong with people sharing feelings it can be super helpful to hear online figures talking about their struggles I hate this line of reasoning
vosh is right about a lot of stuff but the "keep ur mental illnesses to urself" thing is pretty dumb if somebody wants to talk to me they should know about my anger issues so its not as surprising when it happens
@@manjackson2772 "I'm not telling you to keep it to yourself, but I'm saying every single thing possible to make you overthink whether its better to keep it to yourself."
On whether to vent to your online followers, friends, or therapists, if you do feel the need to vent, journal it. Keep a diary on it, so that any thing that comes to mind is kept between you and your diary.
Also good to help keep track to find pattern that may help fix or prevent lows. However ADHD I can’t journal to save my dang life I’m immediately distracted.
not necessarily share less, share less publicly as a means of just getting nods and more for actually getting help you might need. it's a struggle, but improvement isn't an impossibility as many have made it appear to be
My friends don't let me make jokes about myself. They get mad when I do. But it's okay for them to do it because they don't mean it they say. Basically, I just don't talk to people very much any more. Not about anything meaningful. It's a pretty lonely life and no one asks me how I am but I don't feel guilty for sharing anymore. Although, there's been an uptick in my youtube commenting...**thinking face emoji**
Make no mistake, I think it's wonderful that mental illness and neurodivergence have started to lose their historical stigma and that people have become more honest and open about and less ashamed of their issues, but things have really crossed over into a kind of fetishization of disability and suffering that is frankly counterproductive and unhealthy for both individuals and society. I particularly resent how toxic (to overuse another Internet term) people have appropriated a lot of therapeutic language so that they can justify being abusive, obnoxious, irresponsible, and insufferable.
I am sooo excited for the snow to melt because I plan on being outside most of the time. Last Summer and Fall, I was walking all the time and even getting into hiking, and I just felt so good. I felt excited when I'd hit my minimum steps for the day, but absolutely euphoric to go above and beyond. And the pain in my muscles of just MOVING was something I cherished. I absolutely adore being on the move, even if I don't really enjoy stationary exercise, but gimme a good playlist and I'm GONE! Wooo!
15:15 I don’t understand how people think grocery shopping is difficult. I make a list and go out and buy what’s on the list. Hell if I don’t wanna talk to anyone I’ll put on a Vaush video or a podcast and use the self checkout. Honestly the hardest part of grocery shopping is affording the groceries because of inflation and low wages for 99% of people lmao.
"Don't feel guilty about it, feel motivated" Oh thanks Vaush, I didn't realize that was a switch I could just flip. Geez, I sure spent years being self-desprecating for no reason at all, all I needed was this simple trick! This entire segment feels so condescending it's unreal.
@NYX And the way to do that is to accept your feelings and come to terms with them, not to deliberately force your thoughts to conform to a new standard you've set for yourself. I've tried to grind myself out of self-deprecation, and let me tell you, that was neither productive nor fun.
@@wabschall At no point is he actually taking the issue seriously or discussing how difficult it is to deal with. It's all "I'm tired of seeing people fail to deal with their issues, so if y'all could stop that, that would be great".
@NYX Do you honestly think that "do good things, don't do bad things" is some profound truth people in a bad mental state need to be told by someone else? Trust me, no person deliberately chooses to feel like shit simply because they've got an excuse for it. What people like you don't realize is that it's actually really fucking difficult to improve when you're at the rock bottom. Some people will get stuck, and let me tell you, telling them that they're simply "not trying hard enough" does about as much good as telling someone with a broken leg to walk it off.
Regarding the food, just cook a big (cacerola) of beans, you just need an onion, garlic tooths, salt and pepper and you have enought food for an entire week. Add any type of rice and you've just made 2 weeks of good food. Add banana slices, chese, or anything else and that adds more flavours. Lemon or Jamaica, you have a good beverage for the rest of the week.
I'm gonna offer a bit of a reframing take on your points about guilt being useless, Vaush. Based on the research by Brené Brown, what you're actually describing is shame. Basically, guilt=I fucked up (focus on actions), shame=I am a fuck up/fucked up (focus on self). The research suggests that guilt is you realizing your actions don't fit with the person you want to be, & is a motivating emotion to work on that shit. It's helpful in helping you know how you're doing in life. Whereas shame is this idea that you are unfixable, ugly, horrible, & that if someone knew all the ways you are those things they'd rightly reject you. So you hide that, or pretend that you're cool with the way things are, or seek that copium through the vent-posting, doom-scrolling, alcohol/other drugs, self-harm, porn, shopping, etc. Being vulnerable through honesty about your intentions to change, seeking healthy friends despite the risk of rejection, & accepting accountability from those healthy friends is how you squash the shame. Other than that, you're basically saying a lot of what I say as a therapist regularly, but with a lot less aggression.
Had to help my friends with their breakup recently. That fiasco hurt my mental health and I ended up turning hostile on that. Now I don't want to be involved in helping out ppl who have mental health issues, even if they're my friends
It's a difficult line to walk. It's good to be willing to listen to your friends when they're having a hard time, but it's also important to be able to set the boundaries where your realize someone is just using you as an emotional dump and are doing nothing to improve their own situation. That's the important thing: you can't do it for them, they have to do it for themselves. If they aren't willing to do that, then no, you shouldn't spend too much time engaging in their misery.
Set boundaries, for yourself, for others. There's nothing wrong with having healthy lines you don't want others to cross. Having limits on the kind of help you're willing to give is not only normal, but necessary. You're not an endless well of emotional support.
Actually good video, while of course i wouldn't word it as harshly if i was giving this advice, i got the point. I think too many missed it cause they feel called out, or aren't use to being told "hey these tendencies you have aren't healthy, and no it's not okay to wallow in pain and do nothing about your life, even if it is legitimately difficult, you still need to do something"
Counterpoint: they *have* to be worded so harshly, because that's the only hope of them getting through to some of the people who need to hear such. This has been stated more kindly, by both Vaush himself and others, many times before - those who only need a gentle reminder have already gotten one and moved on accordingly. Even in this comment section, as you pointed out, you still have people to whom it wasn't harsh *enough* for them to get it. And that's fine, because Vaush isn't our friend, and so him giving everyone this stern lecture was already going above and beyond.
"Groceries aren't hard" That is true, the process itself isn't hard, what makes it hard for me personally is that I know people near where I live have a poor impression of me (small neighborhood) and going to the groceries means potentially encountering said people. It's never about the task itself, it's about the environment surrounding it. That being said, that shouldn't be an excuse, Vaush is correct about the need for you to push through and fight for your well being, no one is coming to your rescue, it needs to be you.
I think there are situations where venting is CRUCIAL. However, people can't just vent and think everything is alright, if anything you should use venting to figure out what you should start working on next to improve your situation
Also I need to add, usually the things that will help you the most are the ones that you feel averse to when people tell them to you like Vaush did in this segment
No one thinks venting is going to cure their depression. They vent because they feel the need to. Venting does not magically prove someone isn't trying desperately to get out of depression. Stop victim blaming.
@@i_have4dream987 Yeah sorry for my angry tone, bit shocked at the messed up stuff I'm reading in this comment section and I may be starting to overgeneralise towards anyone who says something even remotely like it. You're okay, I'm sorry
I would recommend some HealthyGamerGG videos; he does good stuff, in a similar vein as this, but not quite as aggressive, but still with a focus on self-improvement and all that.
Speak the truth 💜 Funny but sad so many chatters took issue People getting mad because they see themselves in your criticism or because they don’t in your specific conditions 😢 It’s the difference between “I have depression and that makes my life hard so why bother?” and “I have depression and that makes my life hard; how do I work around it?” Get yourselves some wheelchairs, people. Life can be accessible to most
A year and a half ago, I was pretty damn on top of everything. After a negative life event, I became the opposite. Being in that opposite negative behavior has caused negative thoughts about myself. Did I want to stay in this bad feedback loop? No. Vaush is right. Do something about it. Coming from someone who is terrible at organization: 1. Buy a planner for the year, it will make this easier. 2. On a generic day or week that at the beginning of the planner, list your responsibilities, leave room for more in case you forgot them. Even if it's simple, pick up mail, grocery shopping, clean the floors, clean the counters, clean the fridge, etc. 3. Decide which days you should do each of these activities, but don't overload whole days because you won't have the time or energy. For example, I will not put "clean the yard, trim the hedges, clean the car, clean the garage" on the same day I will "clean the counters, floors, fridge, bathroom" etc. Know yourself and how much energy you have. 4. Next, plan from Sunday - Saturday what you want to eat each day. What ingredients you want to cook with, maybe their price, how long the leftovers will last, etc. 5. Lastly, when you complete a task, highlight it green, give it a check mark, or whatever will make you feel happy or satisfied that you finished that task and more. 6. Optional, but I plan on doing this soon. Outline a timeline of what you expect each day of your week will look like. Timeframe you get ready to work, times you work, timeframe you walk the dog, etc. I have difficulty making time to go to the gym. So, I will literally plan it out. This does several things. It gives your life structure and organization. When you finish your tasks you will feel very good seeing all the positive check marks, this will encourage you more to keep up the good work. Also, the food and groceries one is a good way to budget money to save money. It's cheaper (in CA ) to cook your own food than to eat out in any capacity. Don't expect changes in behavior to be immediate. It takes time to become organized if you were not before. If something isn't working out (after time of trial.and error), mix around the days and responsibilities, and split them up until they do work. "It is incredibly easy to maintain bad habits, but it is incredibly difficult to start good habits". I heard this in Middle School and have always felt it's true. Good luck people. I hope the best for us all.
So you think other people DO want to stay depressed? Holy shit, you are impressively stupid. Have you ever considered that trying is not a guarantee for success, and that someone staying depressed for a long time doesn't magically prove that they aren't trying? Stop victim blaming
Um excuse me, when should I doomscroll on Twitter for 6 hours? Surely there is time alotted for that, right? Also, when should I play 8 consecutive hours of video games while eating the most unhealthy snack I can find?
Guilt isn't useless. Why do you think I'm never doing that shit again? Because I feel guilty! You're so wrong that it's not motivating. Venting also helps me a lot. (of course only to friends. You're right on that account.) Just getting something out there makes it feel like much less of a burden. And once I've vented about my issues, I feel motivated to do something about it because I know I'll feel guilty if I just vented without doing something about it. See how that works? Really though, you kinda have a point in practice. A lot of people just vent and go into depression spirals and being on twitter or exclusively around people who are in the same boat isn't exactly helpful. Heck, I've been there too. At some point I was done feeling sorry for myself and decided to start doing what I can to do better. And it works. So yeah, you're kinda right. But I don't think you're exactly phrasing it correctly here. The guilt and the venting can certainly be helpful. (Also, I'm right and you're wrong and I'm gonna feel really smug about it.)
Vaush is right here, I had to learn a lot of this stuff the hard way. I used to depressively vent to people, and it ended some good friendships. Self expression doesn’t mean you have to burden other people, you’ll be surprised by how much just taking a step back is able to help. One should be able to function as their own individual, without needing that validation
@@catboy_official I think he likes to hear himself talk, that's the issue. I like Vaush, but sometimes he just seems to be coming from a place of pure ego. I think he was venting about someone in particular and it's like rude AF to do that so publicly.
remember never to say "I'm sorry for unloading on you and bringing down the mood" instead say "thanks for being there for me, I really appreciate you". one will make your friend uncomfortable and rush to defend you, doing more emotional work whilst the other will make them feel respected
Exactly.
I think Vaush has to be very careful in how he talks about not sharing feelings on depression as some will take it as advocating for not talking about it but with a little effort and some give and take you can have a support network that helps you. You just need to remember you are part of the support structure. Small things like a thank you and showing appreciation goes a long way.
For those who want to keep the idea behind this type of interaction in mind, a header would be "considerate" as in considering the effects of one's own words on the feelings of the people you are talking too. I advise combing considerate intentions with the goal of becoming a more encouraging friend. This way one is planting one of the many seeds necessary for a great friendship and quality of life by conditioning the mind to gauge one's own behavior on recognizing (and by extension fixing) whether or not one might not accidentally hurt their friends without noticing.
I love the brutally frank sentiment of Vaush saying to chat, "You are NOT my friends." Some people REALLY need to hear this. No one has ever posted their way out of depression. It just never happens.
Only gets worse that way. Unfortunately, the best ways out of depression aren’t comfortable, and social media is comfort food.
Jacksepticeye has said the same thing a lot.
@@nickelbuttliterally true, I’ve seen so many people take it the wrong way when myself or anyone else frames self help in a way that detracts from what they are used to ie, a hug box that works to justify and bolster negative feelings or mental illnesses instead of actually working to improve their standard of living (only as far as one’s actual situation actually allows them to change)
@@nickelbutt rarely does anything get me out of a depressive episode until i reach a point of total mental/physical exhaustion. next day i feel cleansed and able to start picking up the pieces.
He is my role model tho
Guys I am telling you having a good amount of sleep and feeling like you are doing stuff and being productive is so good!
@@azlanadil3646 Thanks
might i also add that if you drink soda i highly recommend swapping for something without processed sugars, i never realized how fuzzy my head felt after i drank soda until i stopped.
Thanks, I never realized that doing good things would make me feel good!
Just cleaned my room after a week long depression spiral and I literally feel so powerful. Please, if you can, please get a good amount of sleep, do basic self care, substitute activities if you need to like if it's hard to shower at the very least just sit down and let the water run on you. Pick up a few things and put them where they belong if you don't have the energy to clean your room. Taking care of yourself physically is so important
why didnt i think of that ? !
This might have been my favorite video about self depression because of how Vaush was brutally honest in what he said
Depression doesn't mean you can't be better. It empowers you to know that life isn't going to be constant suffering and the moments that do get bad you get better tooled towards handling them so they're not as devastating.
The part about how non-reciprocal many ranty depressive friends hit hard, because I've had several friends like that and it actually fucked me up pretty deeply. They would go on long rants to me, and I would send them literally pages and pages of praise and encouragement, but when I talked about my problems, all they would send me was a frowny emoji or "*sigh* -_-." It took me a long time to realize that just because someone moans about suicide a lot, has a legitimately hard life, and acts all teary and fragile all the time doesn't mean they're not also a huge, selfish piece of shit.
The final straw that broke the camel's back was when my family was literally destitute with only $200 to our collective name, my mother was regularly crying on the kitchen floor, I was failing school, and the only thing that brought us a small amount of joy at that time was an animated movie that had recently come out, and my depressive friend completely freaked the fuck out at me for daring to like it, going on an unhinged rant about why they should bother making "beautiful, unique, REAL" art (they had been accepted into animation school for like two months) when crap like that movie would always get more popular. I didn't bother to reply and they blocked me a few days after.
Oh that's rough. I'm sorry you and your fam were in that situation; hopefully you're out of that now, and doing better!
@@thekarret2066 We have the same struggles as most Americans, but we're definitely a lot better off than we were at that time. The fucked up part though? It was partially because my mom was earning her teaching degree at the time and student teachers are required to go through a period where they work without pay, even if they have families to feed. This is how we treat the people educating our youth.
This is relatable in a few ways, I think every teacher I know has a story where they're in the car parking lot crying into their steering wheel. It's rough out there for sure.
I also tend to be a person people open up to and can kind of use as a venting or therapist friend. I can bring a horse to water but like I'm no expert on things and I can't force a horse to drink. Maybe Vaush can but not I.
THIS
They probably weren't even seeking for someone to help them. They just wanted attention. They want you to pity them so that their problems seem more real. It really has become an esthetic to be depressed or mentally unwell overall.
If you’re depressed or have a lot of difficult problems in your life, try to make sure that your friendships and relationships never feel like they’re defined by that negativity. Being open with your friends is good, but if you’re venting every time you talk to someone that’ll just BE your dynamic with them after a certain point, and that friendship will probably get pretty toxic and one-note
I was feeling depressive all day but this video made me clean my bedroom and light a candle
poggers
Good work, helped me cleaning out my kitchen
Based 😎 now get a shower and do 10 pushups 🤘
Hell yeah. Candles fuckin rock.
This video made me waste my time in a UA-cam comments section. I regret watching it. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
Tbh, I had a depressive friend circle and now I feel weird talking to them, because I got help and some of them didn't.
Implying anyone can just *get help*? Lmao
Do you know any medical establishment that is going to do that for free? I don't
@Affront to Humanity anyone can get mental help at any level. I've been broke and without insurance but it's no excuse to not try and seek good information and have honest conversations with a close and trusted circle. Trial and error until you get a break through. That's literally all there is to it. It sucks that is the answer and that nobody but yourself can save you no matter how much someone loves you, but that's literally it. Drink lots of water, eat healthier,go outside for more than 5 minutes, block social media sometimes, talk to people who actually want to see you succeed, and do shitty art. Everyday.
@@okamiammy08 So what if you have neither friends nor money? Lmao.
Stop looking for excuses. This is literally the same fragile ego mentality right-wingers operate from: "if I accept that anothers' failure could possibly not be their own fault but due to bad luck, I need to also accept that my own success may not entirely be due to my strength of character but at least some luck may have been involved, and I can't handle that thought, boohoo, so better deny the existence of other people's obstacles"
Literally "just stop being depressed bro"
@@DaveGrean
I mean, I'm at my mental peak right now after almost a decade of depressive, anxious, and overall miserable behavior, and I haven't even seen a counselor or therapist yet.
I got a notebook and started journaling, there are other ways for you to help yourself until you can get to a professional.
@@DaveGrean Based. I agree with you, comrade. Fuck was OP talking about? People have no responsibility for their mental health. We have to overhaul the entire medical establishment no matter how long it takes before we can expect people to do the bare minimum attempt to improve their lives.
/s
I think sincere vent posting isn't as bad as faux ironic mental health memeing
This is what I think Vaush was getting at but failed to convey which is why this video, and the comments that follow suit, grate on me.
One of the things I stress a lot about why I'm a leftist isn't just about why the positions are good: it's also _how_ they're good, including to yourself. I advocate for unions, fair pay, higher minimum wage and etc because not only will it give me a fulfilling life, it will give so many other people it. It's just as important to pursue that fulfillment AS you advocate just as well, to really exemplify not only to yourself but others (!) that what is believed in is really beneficial to your livelihood. Mindfulness, discipline, fortitude, all of these things are invaluable to learn and demonstrate so you can be happy and a great advocate. Drink water and have a good sleep schedule guys!
I always love reading your comments Trash Rabbit ❤
Based and redpilled comment!
Understanding the personal benefits of your positions and way of live makes it much easier to spread as well. Rightwingers often focus solely on the supposed personal "benefits" of their ideology, they make it a lot about what is good for YOU. Toxic masculinity is good, because YOU can be Top G, millionaires are good, because YOU can be a millionaire, exploiting the poor is good, because YOU can exploit them. Leftist could copy that, as despite what many leftists seem to think, leftism is beneficial also on a direct personal level and is actually fulfilling in contrast to any right wing ideology.
These are all things I probably would have disagreed with when I was in the throes of untreated depression and PTSD, but once I got on the right meds and changed my digital environment (getting rid of the depressive feedback loop on my Facebook and instagram feed), I had all of these revelations.
It takes a lot of effort for me to not be as “aggressive” as you are in this clip lol. A lot of people are dedicated to misery because they think that it gives some type of validity to their social standing.
In other words, I was afraid of no longer being depressed because it literally felt like being a class traitor (until I got over it)
Glad to see you on the other side of that mindset! o7
> watches vauwsh
> leftists
> depressed
always
"In other words, I was afraid of no longer being depressed because it literally felt like being a class traitor (until I got over it)"
Too real.
UA-cam is something special, because it allows people to express themselves visually, aurally, and a whole comment section to convey other words and expression. Turning off Instagram and Facebook was probably a good call, but I may be biased.
Well said!
While I hardcore agree w/ 99% of this whole rant, it's missing some absolutely essential caveats, therefore I feel strongly that he demonstrates a few GIANT fucking blind spots here -
He vastly underestimates the extent to which his being from a loving, non- dysfunctional family contributes to some of his "rules" being much easier for him, since being raised by emotionally stable, mentally present parents who put their kids b4 themselves & teach them healthy habits, makes almost ALL the difference...
Plus an even more obvious fact that,
here in the land of commodified healthcare, most of us grew up with far less resources than Vaush's family.
Vaush's parents didn't let him be homeless as a result of untreated health conditions, simply bc they couldn't be bothered to care about him... as my parents did.
Also, ADHD is a neurological condition, & a mental disability... but it is Not a mental illness.
I think Vaush forgets not everyone listening that needs it, has access to Adderall (right now ESPECIALLY!😢) & lithium...
But he OTOH is guaranteed he always will.... & access to mental health care, bc he was GIVEN a college education, & bc of his loving, supportive family.
The comment he made about how much more productive he is than his audience was gross for this reason. And I'm not offended, I know Vaush for all his very high intellect, sometimes lacks life experience & wisdom & is rash in his words. It's just a shame he doesn't realize that
he really shouldn't compare himself to others, bc he doesn't know anyone's capabilites but HIS OWN. He's simply not able to put himself in the shoes of ppl w/ very abusive, traumatic childhoods, many who have to go no contact w/ their entire family for their mental well being.
A support system isn't something ppl lack just bc they dont see the value in, or try hard enough.
Massive this. He's right in healthy independence and self-sustainability being values we should strive to promote on the left and pointing out unhealthy and self-defeating behavioural patterns that tend to fester here, but some of the delivery felt downright gross and callous.
Like, good for him that he's medicated and has access to resources. None of this diminishes his own struggles and the strength it takes to get through them, but he is operating at an advantage that allows for him to be more readily capable.
Just, yeah. There are alot of good points I agree with, but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
I appreciate this being made its own separate clip. It's a great rant that has plenty of good things to reference.
i get what vaush is saying but my god could be word it better. here’s my hot take: *strive to be the best you can be.* whether that means working out every day n becoming a perfect chad or just getting out of bed n eating some healthy food is the same. good.
I'm honestly scared to watch the video. Almost every single comment here is blaming people for their depression. Saying everyone can just get out of it whenever they want, and that some people just choose to stay depressed rather than simply having failed to get out of it so far. Some absolute POS here even says people stay depressed on purpose 'as an aesthetic'.
If what Vaush is saying is even remotely similar - which certainly seems to be the implication since it's nearly EVERY comment - I don't know if I'll ever be able to take him seriously again.
@@DaveGrean honestly the video is pretty victim-blaming and it's gross that he promotes bootstrap theory while claiming to be a leftist. Glad to say he doesn't represent us at all. Honestly nauseating to hear his bad takes wrapped up in "sigma grindset" tripe pretending to be helpful.
@@catboy_official I've watched it and it wasn't nearly as bad as most comments here, but still had some pretty weird moments. Agree with the bootstrap stuff. He's a wealthy guy who could afford diagnosis and medication, and even before he had that there's no reason to assume his depression and ADHD were the worst cases possible.
But what I found most shocking of all was his self-report that he apparently doesn't care about people he doesn't know, and that he's convinced everyone is like that. With a fundamentally right-wing personality like that it's surprising he ever became a leftist (guessing his general intellect makes up for that deficit in empathy). Really ruined my view of the guy somewhat. Of course I care if someone I don't know feels like shit, what the fuck?
@@DaveGrean "Of course I care when someone I don't know feels like shit. What the fuck"
Holy virtue signal.
@@healingtaco1207 I'm a nihilist so I'm afraid those words you just used are nothing but silly, meaningless gibberish to me. If you can't rephrase the idea using language that isn't moralistic and therefore childlike and stupid, it was worthless to begin with.
I was merely describing the fact that, unlike Vaush and you (I'm guessing? Why else would you feel so attacked by what I said, lmao), I don't have an antisocial personality disorder and thus have the capacity for human empathy. I can assure you that any dumb moralistic implication only exists inside your tiny subhuman head.
I have depressive tendencies and also what is very likely undiagnosed adhd (with rough patches of executive dysfunction) and he is completely right. Not only is venting not inherently you dealing with your problems but meeting basic physical and psychological needs helps IMMENSELY. I cannot stress enough how much better I'm doing with a new job that is forcing me to exercise, eating regularly, and deliberately planning on going out and doing something for myself in public at least once a week. I still have a long way to go to get to being who I want to be, but progress is absolutely possible! You just have to be willing to try.
WOOO! Congrats on the progress!
🙌
sounds like you dont have a disability of any kind. dont try to fake it.
It's the "willingness to try" that defeats people before they even get started. If they had "willingness to try" to begin with, no amount of misfortune could ever keep them down. It's almost like you have to train yourself to want something again.
@@latinexus Aye... but I thinks it just too late...
Sometimes there is no way to get out of a headspace without completely changing your environment and stimuli: which isn't of course easily possible for everyone. I know a few people who ended up going to the far right because they were stuck in shitty family life and it was an outlet, and they went too far. I know people on the left who are in the same situation and cope with it in different ways. They try everything, they work out, they change their diet, they take supplements, they try different medications, new hobbies, whatever, and nothing works. Because they are still waking up and having to deal with an abusive family who doesn't appreciate them and they have to give a disproportionate amount of care, especially when drugs or alcohol are involved.
Sometimes it's you, or sometimes it's your environment making you that way.
Honestly i can with 100% confidence the only thing that saved my from that cycle was adderall, no matter how hard i tried i just could not break the cycle, finally got ADHD help but during the titration process i ended up takeing too high a dose for what you should really be going for and in the process of being higher than the moon i was able to see the beauty in the world around me, the pro socal nature of the stuff got me outside and hanging out with people, and being safe from falling into a depressive spiral (2 tablets will fix that right up) i was able to address the traumatic shit that was putting me in these thought loops because i could see them, acknowledge it, detangle the feelings involved, accept it and move on.
Obviously i backed it off later because going around geeked is not how you live a healthy life but that experence really did set me in the right direction
"They try everything, they work out, they change their diet, they take supplements, they try different medications, new hobbies, whatever, and nothing works"
I know you mentioned the situation where they are stuck in an abusive situation leading to this not working. But also, in other cases, where even their current situation is fine, none of that working likely means that they "skipped a step" so to speak. All of these are external changes. They do lead to improvements, but they can be superficial if there's a more emotional core to what they're going through that isn't merely physiological. This is half the reason why most advise is pretty useless. One needs that layer of introspection and specificity to oneself for any of it to even get off the ground.
@@therideneverends1697 I'm glad someone said this
I live in an abusive, dysfunctional household
now I admit I haven't tried everything I can do to treat my mental disorders
but I'm literally not allowed to
because i'm literally being held back from doing things for myself by my family
yet these same people complain about my mental disorders
it's an ugly cycle and I can't wait until I can get out of here
I've had to cut ties with friends who did nothing but dwell on "ooooooh i'm so quirky and depressed oooooo heheee i have anxiety i do be quirkyy," and then cry about not being capable of doing basic human shit like keeping your house clean and then cry about "well i'm mentally ill so i literally can't do anythiiiing" and if you dared to suggest them how to improve things they would start crying and guilt trip you.
I didn't pay attention to it until i myself got better, and then started to realize how much this kind of shit KEPT me depressed, kept me in the headspace that "well there is literally no way i could get better because i'm mentally ill and thus i can just cry and have no capability to improve my life".
Cuteification of mental illness was a fucking mistake.
what youre describing is literally a symptom of mental illness though, especially the part where you lose all hope to be able to change for the better. i understand you want people to make a concerted effort to improve but basically blaming depressed people for....feeling hopeless and depressed?
Stop fucking lying. This never happened. No one enjoys being depressed. Every single person with depression is trying their hardest to get out of it, and nearly every single person in this comment section is spitting in their face and telling them their failure to get out of it is somehow proof that they aren't trying. Who the fuck wants to be depressed?
As someone who does struggle with depression, what Voosh is saying here is right. Stop making excuses to justify giving up. You aren't going to win everytime but you have to fight against these feelings and work to improve yourself. Start going to the gym, reach out to old friends, find new hobbies, DO THINGS. Giving in without a fight is for cowards, and that ain't you.
My mom has a doctorate in this, and I think one of the most profound thing she said to me about self-improvement was "your mental health, is your responsibility." Period, end of discussion.
I went on r/depression once and there were several people talking about how bad therapy is and just generally dragging each other down and that really fucked with me because I was seriously considering therapy at that time but I was scared and that made me spiral a bit. It really does feel like it drags you down to the point where people start discouraging the best things you could do for your depression. And it's not like there aren't bad therapists or problems with therapy but these people were discounting therapy as a whole because they had a lot of bad therapists when they probably just had really bad luck seeing as when I go places other than r/depression people constantly talk about how therapy changed their life (oh and the data says therapy usually helps).
Gee, it's almost like the first group was in r/depression because they couldn't find a good therapist and thus stayed depressed, while that second group got lucky enough to find one leading to their much more positive attribute.
probably not only bad luck with therapists probably at least for some also from their own bad expectations and "mindsets" going into it
@@freaki0734 Why would you assume that? Do you have any reasonable arguments or evidence, or is it just something you like to believe?
Having had depression in the past I frankly find the idea absurd. And even if I didn't - personally if I have bad expectations about something, but that thing turns out to actually be nice, my inaccurate expectation wouldn't magically render it ineffective, so I just don't get it.
If a food tastes nice, the fact that I wrongfully expected it to taste bad has 0 influence on how much I enjoy the taste once I found out I was wrong
Personally, I find the medicine that helps depression works better than therapy, but the medicine alone isn't enough. You also have to work to get to where you want to be in life.
What you're saying is blatantly false. The dude made such a sensible and tempered claim, "SOME people also...". What you are discribing as "ridiculous" is so ubiquitous and obviously true that we have a name for it; confirmation bias. You believe therapy doesn't work, therapy ends up not working. This is a Vuash comment section, we've all had depression. Possibly you are the rare exception that does not experience confirmation bias, but to say NO ONE does? AbsoLUTELY do depressed people fail in therapy because they don't expect it to work and put in halfhearted attempts
Having people with shared experiences in your circle is one of the best attributes our support networks can have, but it's to be used wisely. Not to constantly, or even regularly, just commiserate on relatable misery... But to just have some mutuality to the perspective brought to the table when offering support on times of need, and moreover finding encouragement and triumph...and just living life.
So as someone who's wrestled with depression quite deeply, I'd say you're really onto something meaningful.
Why do we lefties need to self improve... we're already the best
I’m #1 so why try harder
-Fatboy Slim
If you truly feel that way, you're legitimately naive. Not in a mean way, but legit that's an ignorant way of looking at it. The Left, broadly, is immensely lacking in addressing loneliness, self help, and male confidence(healthy non-toxic confidence).
@@IgnarHusky woooosh
@@AlejandroLamKhoa Hence why I said *if you truly feel this way*...
I gave benefit of the doubt, dingbat lmao
@@IgnarHusky But lefties are the besties. If it rhymes it's true.
Perhaps this is a breach of that 'Stop venting online' but as someone who's flip-flopped between being the therapist friend to even his parents and then realising I need mental space too and fighting for it, this balanced perspective on how things should be is very much appreciated.
This is one of those videos that I want to hear a professional therapist give their opinion on.
We need HealthyGamerGG to do a react vid
You mean like... every therapist ever? They haven't per-se reacted to this video, but the sentiments expressed here aren't exactly going into uncharted territory.
"Sitting around making each other sad is not a productive way to become happy" is a pretty stable fact of psychology.
I fckin' wish this video came out back in 2016. A lot of us "converts" got into far-right politics in the first place because of the promise of self-improvement they preached.
I can't even imagine how further along on my path I'd be currently if I heard this massage back in those times from a leftist point of view, in a way less toxic form.
The Cause needs this kind of mentality, desperately.
I disagree about venting not actually helping, like I definitely don't get how it can help on social media (though I know a lot of people like "yelling into the void"), but doing so with friends is definitely helpful and not bad as long as they're cool with it. Also, aS sOmEoNe wItH OCD, I do sometimes joke about it, but only with things I actually like about it - it makes me more organized and perfectionistic, which are traits I like about myself. I don't see any problems with that, though it's definitely different for a lot of people
@@Ass_of_Amalek Yeah, I think he conflates a lot of mental health-related topics in his head
@@Ass_of_Amalek yeah, this is my issue. he is confusing and conflating so many things together that the rant is ultimately unhelpful. the spirit of what he is saying is correct, but its just a mess lol
You say you disagree, then state agreement with everything Vaush said: Venting to randos online is screaming into the void, where as "doing so with friends is definitely helpful and not bad as long as they're cool with it." can be helpful.
It's disingenuous for someone to hear "vent", ignore the definition and quantifiers Vaush gives for what he considers "venting" to be, then say "well actually, the kinds of venting that fall outside what you've explicitly stated you mean, aren't necessarily bad."
No shit - that's why they aren't in his definition of harmful actions.
@@trianglemoebius Again, Vaush is making a lot of assumptions about people who vent on their social media feed / their timeline. The given account could be an alt account for quarantining negativity, not the main account. The person might mostly have mutuals that have shown themselves to be supportive in private as in public (and may or may not be ppl they already know irl), and don't mind it (if they're still mutuals, that's kind of what that means). Even the Discord vent channel example--if the community doesn't have sufficiently strong cohesion and connection among members, which is more possible when the group is small, and none of them have the ability to enforce their own boundaries, then, yeah, its going to be a shit experience. But I have seen vent channels that don't go to shit like this.
One of the benefits of "shouting into the void" is its more efficient, and actually better for keeping friendships: not all of the friends or mutuals have to support that person all of the time, but whoever is available and willing at given moments, and when people get tired of it they can mute your feed. Sending constant DMs and private messages at random times in the day to specific people is way more "burdening." The situation Vaush talks about where people commiserate together by reinforcing each other's inner critic is a very specific one that he intrinsically links to any kind of venting "into the void." Still more, venting online is still better than not venting at all if you happen to *not* have friends you can trust, though its ironically not always safe (one should be cautious). Not venting at all would mean bottling it up. I hold to this even in the worst cases. Vaush seems to think its better to not vent at all than vent "badly."
Ultimately, venting no matter how often you do it is literally not harmful--at best, it can be *potentially* harmful to *you*, indirectly, insofar as people can't tolerate it if its too much. Venting around a bunch of other people could or could not be harmful depending on who they are. It has nothing to do with the amount or intensity of venting and entirely on the situation. Vaush is implying there is some level or intensity of venting that is just universally unacceptable.
I also suspect Vaush is dangerously conflating different things. Venting is emotional processing through articulating a feeling or bodily sensation freely (affective), letting the body react fully to what it has experienced (somatic), and understanding or trying to understand why that feeling is there or where it comes from (cognitive), and re-engaging your attachment needs for reassurance (interpersonal). Whining, complaining, or ruminating out loud are completely different things. Conflating these with venting is why it sounds like he's saying people should just bottle up their shit instead of potentially bothering or annoying others even if he says that's not what he is saying.
I've had a hard last couple of weeks of feeling down, eating like crap and getting very little done. All of that has made me feel even less likely to do anything, furthering my negative feelings, furthering my desire to do anything, etc. Very easy for things to spiral downward.
A bit harsh, but this video was a good reminder that these feelings won't go away by sitting around and mopping about it, and that I should do whatever I can when I can. Even if it's a small.
I think one big problem is what I call "Neurological defeatism". People get a diagnose and think that they can't ever improve on that area. That their brain is just frelled and if they're depressed, they can never be happy because "Neurological reasons". If they have ADHD they can never learn to focus better because... same reason. Same with ASD and social stuff.
I think neurodivergent people generally receive treatment that is opposite to this. People tend not to be very accommodating and expect neurodivergents to meet neurotypical standards without accommodation.
The attitude behind this is generally that neurodivergent problems are a matter of willpower and discipline, while they simply aren't. As a person with primarily inattenttive adhd, I can tell I've had numerous times where I've had many wasted several hours not getting anything done despite *really* wanting to get at least started.
Supporting neurodivergent people isn't about finding ways through the problems, but around them. It's about finding ways to provide them the conditions under which they can thrive.
Your comment gives me the impression you don't take neurological conditions like autism, adhd or even stuff like dyscalculia very seriously. I'm disappointed you decided to add your part to the shit people with neurological conditions already face.
@@tortture3519 The world isn't going to bend that far to accommodate the neurodivergent, there's no incentive to do so. Nobody is going to found a company that hires people with ADHD that don't have a good grip on their condition and therefore produce half the results of alternative neurotypical prospects. No taxpayer or government wants to pay for people to stay home because they refuse to adequately address their depression, or learn to work with neurotypical people, or take their antipsychotics. It's unfair that some people have a harder time existing (amongst normies), life is unfair, but if you believe that those groups of people deserve to life fulfilling lives, those groups of people are going to have to make ends meet.
Or you can continue to let them think they're fundamentally broken and facilitate their misery and likely the misery of others as well. That's the alternative to getting better, staying worse than what one could be.
What cured my ADD (mostly) was less so my temporary usage of Ritalin and more so the academic period during which I had to read tons of books. Even though the grindset is very important, it is more important that an individual finds themselves in material circumstances that encourage and support the said grindset. I personally believe we have no right to judge others because we really live in a culture that leaves people utterly alone to the most extreme point that not one person cares whether you live or die. I was lucky I found myself in circumstances that led to my self-improvement in this case, but we really aren't trying to construct any civilizational infrastructure in order to assure more people will be that lucky. And since we don't, we don't get to judge others' malfunctioning.
I think I can broadly agree with the sentiment of what you're saying, but you're treading awfully close to shit like telling a depressed person to just be happy.
Mental illness is real illness, not just a matter of thought patterns or willpower. You can always strive to improve your situation, but you can't think yourself out of Bipolar Disorder, you can't will yourself out of ADHD.
@@aramilalpha1 both things are true. When I got my diagnosis about 12 years ago there was a brief moment where I was excited to know what was wrong with me and then a good long time where my brain sort of luxuriated in the miserable idea that I was hopeless and broken and that the patterns in my life were set. That was an aspect of my mental illness more than an objective view of the situation, which is that plenty of people have what I have and manage to navigate the world and even get better if not “normal”, or the idea that many more people have mental health issues than you know because these are things that historically we didn’t talk about it. Today, I am not “cured”, but my life is so much better, and it took work and therapy and medication. I can pass as a normie now, and plenty of people think I’m fine. Internally my brain still does what it did, but I have ways to manage that now. I guess I think sharing these things online is good in that it shows people that they aren’t alone. But it can also damage other people’s mental health by making them feel even more hopeless. I think people who have struggled with mental health and made it through should be more open about that as well. Mental illness is a real physical thing that you just can’t think your way out of, but your life still has value and you can be happy, even if your brain doesn’t organically want to be
i love the „dont vent“ stuff specifically because it will lead people who already feel like a huge burden to reach out even less because they feel guilty over sharing their struggles.
i for one hate the thought of being perceived the way vaush described. thats why i just kind of stopped talking to anyone.
Lmao idk what to say to this.
The venting is fine, it's the context that you vent. If you're telling everyone, traumadumping like your life depended on it, that's bad. Find people who can shoulder that burden first- ask.
@@weirdo3116 you dont need to say anything. just ponder on it for a while.
@@sevntohno8728 i mean, i feel like that should be a given anyways. no one defends random traumadumping.
@@pissfather6798 i did but it still doesn't make sense. some people might be harmed by a thing but i don't think that means we shouldn't do/say that thing. especially when it can help more people than it harms.
I don't know if Vaush has had a lot of therapy but one of the concepts that helped me the most is that guilt is in fact a useless emotion. It's just a social coping mechanism to resolve disputes. It's an attempt to subdue the urge to do anything about your fuckups or confront people honestly. If you feel guilty about something stop that and do something about it, even if that something is egotistical. Don't absolve yourself of the responsibility of living your life by subjecting yourself to selfimposed punishment.
I agree that guilt can be paralyzing. But I think the original point of guilt is to stop you from doing bad things in the future. Sometimes it even motivates you to do good things. But it can absolutely stop you from doing good things if you use it as an excuse to pull away rather than to make amends for your behavior.
@@greywolf7577 Not really. There is no such thing as "good" and "bad" in nature. Your brain is designed to socialize with a group and since cavemen didn't have access to the modern luxury that is the prison industrial complex we evolved failsafes to stop us from killing everyone that ever wronged us. Guilt is a form of punishment meant to disuade other people from seeking revenge on you.
If what you were saying were true we wouldnt be hardwired to forgive people who show remorse. If the purpose of guilt was to fix our mistakes we would want to forgive people who have repaid their mistakes. In actuality, most people would not forgive someone who gave back the money they were caught stealing unless they showed guilt for having commited the crime.
Theramintrees has mamy videos on such topics. Your comment reminded me of his video about rumination.
I think you're talking about shame. Guilt compels action. Shame does not.
@@tortture3519 It's literally the other way around. Shame is a very effective way of keeping people in line assuming you live around people who have a lot of shame.
That's why you don't hear idiots complaining about face masks in SEA where people were already too ashamed to cough in public and wore face masks out of politeness.
Self Improvement AND Self Love is needed. I've been stuck in that hole. In the dark hole. I have self improved and have gotten to be a better person. I've worked out of my depression. I'm trying to get out of my toxic household. I'm trying to get stronger socially and emotionally and physically. WE all need self improvement. WE are not perfect. Life needs to be lived to its fullest. We need to break out of that shell of self hatred and depression. I need to work on myself if I'm being honest.
I have 2 discord accounts. I use them for a lot. Like if I see something interesting I send it to the alt. I also vent to that alt account. Because I know none of my friends don't want to hear that shit.
Sorry about the 2 paragraphs. Just wanted to share my opinions.
I like your two paragraphs. It's inspiring to hear from people who have worked themselves out of a hole. Keep sharing. You never know how it might affect someone.
1. Depression sucks, but people are pretending to have it as an excuse to not do anything.
2. Same goes for chronic anxiety.
3. ADD/ADHD is not whatever quirky 🤪 nonsense you want it to be... Also isn't an excuse to never do anything.
4. Autism is a thing... but not as many of you have it as you think.
5. If you feel you suffer from any of these... seek help, genuin help. And remember to always move forward in life.
I've never been diagnosed with a mental illness (frankly no idea whether I have one or not, which makes me think probably not but I don't know), but I've gone through very rough patches in life, including a year where I was dealing with some s**cidal ideation.
Without fail, the way I've gotten out of those periods has been making a concerted effort to fix my sleep schedule, picking up a hobby that feels productive, something creative with a tangible end product you can see and be proud of, not just "I like videogames and anime" (currently I'm making video reviews, which have the benefit of having very easily checkmarkeable steps so that every few days I can feel like "I finished taking notes" - "I finished the script" -"I've edited the script to be good" - "I recorded the audio" - "I did the audio editing" - "I did the video editing" etc etc) and setting myself an exercise goal small enough that I know I won't make excuses to not do it (even if it's something tiny like "run 10 minutes a day" - the goal is to actually DO it, you can make slowly it bigger later). The difference is night and day, life goes from feeling like it's not worth living to actually being enjoyable - I have energy, I don't feel like shit, I feel accomplished. It's not easy to do, but it beats having to wonder whether getting out of bed is worth it because I'm going to feel like human garbage either way every morning.
just checked your channel and your most recent video actually got a lot of views, good luck on your video making endeavours!
4:10-4:13
" Freedom is meaningless if you are incapable of acting on your desires "
Message good. Delivery needs work. Abrasiveness usually has the opposite effect when suggesting something to do
Couldn't agree more. I would've left a supportive comment if he wasn't such a c***** about it (and lying about bootstrap theory being true, because everyone knows it's bs). The message is great but good lord he's insufferable in this video. Came here from another where he was pleasant, level-headed and gave a balanced arguement and good criticism of someone's video so I imagine he's pleasant most of the time. He just woke up and chose to be an ass about mental illness I guess 😅
He's a cisman so he assumes people care about proving themselves to other people. I find abrasiveness only tends to work with typically competitive cismen.
Personally i really like his more direct approach a lot more than the sorta chill "hey, its gonna be alright be buddy" i think mainly because the people in my life do a lot of the latter and not the former
I unironically do believe in self improvement and reaching ones potential. I used to be a borderline NEET and now I'm building my own career path, had a glow up, and self taught myself some skills. You learn a lot from it, the experience has so much to teach that it is hard to put into words. I also have a mistress, a girlfriend, and a homie with benefits and people find me attractive now which is an entirely new challenge for me. You can manipulate your environment if you try hard enough
Edit: the comments were very supportive and I appreciate seeing all the kindness, I hope all of you reach your potential one day!
How the hell did you go from borderline neet to having three partners? That's amazing
@@LaurentIpsum Ngl... I learned how to talk to people at bars and clubs. Would go there alone or with a friend depending on the location and just strike up small talk with people and tried to learn as much as possible. There's lots of information that you pick up like eye contact, body language, tone, word choice, subtext, etc ^^ I tend to approach things at a cautiously optimistic manner and got comfortable embarrassing myself from time to time.
The magic zone is everywhere *outside* your comfort zone.
@@LaurentIpsum also eating healthy, having diverse interests, being curious about things, sleeping regularly, and grooming and sunlight helps a lot. Little changes to your mood can change how people perceive you... People tell me I smile a lot and glow sometimes which is really flattering. I practiced smiling on my morning walks and in the mirror, it was a process. Kindness and friendship is a lifehack, my relationships have strong foundations in companionship before romantic or sexual ideas take place
what's the difference between a 'mistress' and a 'girlfriend'? that just sounds like two girlfriends lol
@@latinexus no lol, google the definition
Jesus Christ... Vaush's mental health takes are about as good as his media takes.
I'm not saying it's ALL trash, but it's really not worth sorting through.
Having said that, Vaush is right about at last one thing here (and not much more): You do have to work yourself, you do have to develop discipline. Wallowing really won't do anything, not even make you feel better.
@@Ass_of_Amalek ok tankie
@@rorschachwatchmen4742 I am an anarchist and not even mentally ill but I have heard these same kind of rhetoric from manosphere types and most of them people who have these kind of problems have criticized these talking points. I don't think they'll change their mind because a leftie also says it.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think vaush is bad but I have a major problem with how much his rhetoric is based on him trying to appeal to the right-leaning audience. Self-improvement is good, we shouldn't do it show that lefties are muscular and we also should be open to people going about self-improvement in their own ways unlike the dogmatic way that the right does it.
I get what vaush feels about the left but I just don't think we should try to even attract the crowd that thinks a person being buff is an absolute evidence that their character is......good? Cool? Idk what they think.
@@Ass_of_Amalek Are people actually too stupid to get the point of your name or have you said tankie garbage that I haven't seen?
@Jo Jo You don't even need to train hard. On the contrary, training ''hard'' can actually be detrimental if all you try to do is to get reasonably fit. You need discipline, yes, but at the same time you also need to know when too much is too much.
@@Shilpa_Kujur I think we should attract them and try to rehabilitate them, it’s better than the right getting ahold of them that’s for sure.
@10:40 guilt is not useless, it is useful for learning empathy and sympathy and creating a moral compass. It encourages introspection. Holding on to it for long periods of time and beating yourself up however, THAT is useless and unhealthy. I somehow doubt that he's never felt guilty about anything, unless he's a sociopath
No him saying that was hyperbole. Vaush isn’t really saying that nobody should ever feel guilty in the strictest sense. He’s just saying that lingering on guilt is unproductive. He could have been more specific with his word choice, but I think that would have actually lessened the emotional impact of his statement. To someone who does dwell on their feelings of guilt too much, saying “I have never felt guilty for anything in my life,” is more beneficial than a more measured, precise description.
I think that he meant the unproductive kind of guilt. This is a good classification though.
@@Ass_of_Amalek When you exaggerate, you lose some precision in what you want to say in exchange for expressing a general sentiment with more weight. Seeing as how the disagreements about Vaush’s statement are semantic, about the meaning of the word guilt rather than the sentiment he is trying to convey, I think the hyperbole is appropriate in this situation.
@@Ass_of_Amalek often he's plenty forthcoming with how he feels about things and what he says, however I think that in this case yeah, by the sounds of it he did a poor job articulating his point. I don't think he's a narcissist, he just puts his foot in his mouth sometimes, such as in this video, in my opinion. His poor choice of words ended up unintentionally undermining his message in my opinion
I didn't know he had npd, where did he disclose this? he usually doesn't bring up his mental health or medical history so that's very surprising for me.
I don't think many people would try to argue that guilt is something to strive for on purpose, but rather it's a natural consequence of having values and realizing you haven't met them. To brag that you've never felt guilty seems a little over the top.
Agreed. It's a sign of being a person with morals. Being guiltless isn't a badge of honour.
Just Vaush being extra Vaush today unfortunately.
I can completely understand wanting to vent about how depressed or angry or just generally upset you are. But, by continuing to do it over and over again. It only makes other people depressed. When I am upset I'll talk to my friends. But, ultimately its my therapist that will help me with my issues.
Vonk is ready for that Rogan podcast. He just doesn’t like going out of the house.
As much as he hates doing it, I don't think Vaush would turn down Rogan. I'm not a Rogan fan but Vaush seems too normal to ever be invited on that show.
Vaush: so many of you have no idea how to structure your life
Me, boiling water for .30 cent ramen: yeah, those losers
god the stuff u said about venting is a really important message. it's good to share what you've been going through with someone you're close to, I've done that a bit recently and I always feel so much better afterwards. If you have serious mental health issues go see a therapist, your friends are just there to give a bit of advice and for updates with what's going on with you generally
I realised this a couple years ago and have stopped sharing memes that are like "ecks dee I'm so depressed!" bc it would make me feel worse sharing them, and seeing other people share them also made me feel worse (I've muted some Facebook friends who do it because it's so draining to see).
As for being friends with other people with mental health struggles, I think it's completely fine if they're the type who doesn't want to define themselves by their mental illness, and don't just use you as a vent sponge.
Also if you're struggling mentally, I definitely recommend getting some blood work done and checking to see if you have something like ADHD. I have been struggling with extreme fatigue for a while, had some blood work done and it turns out my iron levels were dangerously low and I classify as anaemic. Getting this stuff checked out may solve the root of your issues, or at least address an element of things and reduce your suffering.
Agree on both the getting blood work and kicking “negative self talk”
A lot of Americans are prone to hypo-thyroid which can have negative mental health symptoms. Cheap to treat with generic meds and bam suddenly feel better.
@@LizStaples Very true (not American myself but I am aware thyroid issues are pretty common in the UK too). Plenty of issues can be eased with supplements too. A blood test can easily determine if you have low Vitamin D (common in the UK, as we don't get a lot of sun in winter and our weather isn't too sunny), iron (as with me, also very common in pregnant/menstruating people), vitamin C, etc. which can be easily rectified with dietary changes or supplements.
Ehhhh on the guilt part, iirc having a tendency to feel guilt statistically is linked to being more reliable and conscientious. Vaush could be talking about a more self-wallowing type of guilt, which probably is useless, but for me I tend to be kicked into gear by "people are counting on you, don't let them down" type guilt.
Maybe Vaush isn't conscientious 👀
@@catboy_official Checks out, with this mess of a video lol
I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I'm fairly certain I have Asperger's and possibly PTSD (due to some really fucked up shit in my 20s), but I still go to work and do my goddamn best. As long as I'm doing my best, it makes everything so much easier to accept. AND I work with hundreds of patients each day! As a fucking mentally ill introvert! 😂😂
In fact, I feel like even though the job is exhausting, it helps me in the long run because it keeps me connected to society at large. I'd probably be some hermit if I didn't have this job.
Anyways I completely forget where I was going with this, lmao Have a good day, y'all ❤
Self help is based
No, not really. Most of it is just pseudo-intellectual BS.
This reminds me of a friend i have. I care about him a great deal but every time I hear from him he's complaining about depression and being single. I can only hear so many times how much you hate yourself.
As someone who is always looking after others and getting vented to, this video was really validating. Thanks a ton vaush :)
Some things are really hard for people, man. That’s not an excuse not to try.
I couldn’t leave my house for a few years. It took me a long time to even be close to ok and it’s exhausting. Physically it weighs you down.
No matter how much weight I lost or how much loneliness I felt I just couldn’t bring myself to go out.
„Go out and do what? With who? Now I have to find people? What if I don’t find people? What if I’m just as alone as I am now? What if somebody’s mean to me the ONE time I leave the house?“
It’s sickening and I hate myself but saying „this should be easy“ had done nothing but make me feel WORSE for being in the same position I’ve been in for the last 6 years.
I hate myself
I hate what I do
I hate that I can’t stop
I need serious help
…but that’s also why I don’t vent online anymore.
Look. Honestly, say you do go outside and all your worst fears come to pass. How is that materially different from what your everyday life is like anyway? You go out and don't make friends? You didn't have any in the first place, so you're not any worse off than you already are. You're already on the internet, I doubt that you don't see people being mean to you for no reason even without going outside.
Go do stuff in the next town over, that way you already were never going to interact with these people anyway. If something good comes out of it, great. If not, you're not any worse off and can go try something else later. Embrace the optimistic side of nihilism. Nothing matters, so neither do your fuckups.
democracy in the workplace is kinda the more manly thing (and also like good for other people, i have like zero wish to be manly personally) like you get a voice, you get control over your life, instead of like being a little bitch boy for your unelected bosses while you make them more money than the crumbs they give you
As someone who’s had an especially difficult upbringing physically and emotionally abusive parents and the such I actually find pessimism really off putting iv known people who are just “Yh I’m so depressed and there’s no hope whatsoever lmao” and honestly iv just cut those people out of my life because all they do is bring you down with them surround yourself with more optimistic people and not people who make a a character quirk that they are inherently broken that shit is just bad for everyone.
Usually alcoholics
@@rorschachwatchmen4742 that and internet addicts
It's important to be prepared for worst case scenarios. In the us the worst case scenarios are shit. You just don't get to retire. Vacation adequately. You have to be in like the top 40% to even start to have any form of decent retirement. That's not a good outlook.
I am extremely pessimistic but I never get why that has to lead to hopelessness. Yes, everything is shit and the world is fucked. So even if you do a little bit to make it better you can create something special. Yes, the odds are insurmountable, so if you fail once or twice or all the time there's no need to feel bad about it. Yes, everything is going to fall down and society will inevitably collapse, so why not pass the popcorn and have fun watching the fire?
I've begun working on bettering myself and your content's really helping to keep me motivated
All is true. From how para social relationships aren’t real to how discipline is freeing. When someone captures how viscerally annoyed you feel about the same types of people, feels pretty good.
This was so funny to watch him combust, trying to convince people to take care of themselves and not devolve into the lefty version of the black pill.
Guys, i hate to say it, but getting a decent sleep schedule, waking up early to go work out, eating healthier, quitting smoking, and getting medicated for my depression was the best shit I ever did for myself. I've never felt happier. Touching grass works.
You gotta learn when it’s time to stop thinking and start experimenting.
"buy rice and beans" advice was a throwaway but honestly Lentils and Rice feels like a cheat code.
cheapest foods in the grocery store, don't need refrigeration bc they don't go bad? sick
Also the combo of turmeric and black pepper works wonders for inflammation which can reduce depression symptoms.
If y'all have cooking rec's lmk.
lentils are soooooo good in pasta sauce. I put them in that all the time as my go to easy meal
While I do agree with the message, the idea that breaking out of depression is about just cheering up is just expressing ignorance. I once heard a very good description of how a bad depression feels: imagine laying in bed feeling absolutely miserable. At a table 3 feet away is a pill that you know for a fact will make everything good, but you can't motivate yourself to take a step and reach for it. When you're in that place it's almost impossible to break out of it without help. Clinical depression isn't melancholy or feeling sad, it's a debilitating state that makes you feel and want nothing and where everything feels like an insurmountable obstacle.
"breaking out of depression is about just cheering up" This is definitely something Vaush said.
This. Vaush is using his willful ignorance as a bludgeon.
"does vaush get off to yelling at chat?"
i don't know, but i get off to vaush yelling at chat.
Idk, I feel like this is one of Vaush's rare bad takes. I agree that we should be promoting things like mental assistance and self discipline but he's using his own anecdotal experience and bias to assume that venting on the internet is bad. Let's say that you vent into the void, at least you released these pent up emotions that you've been holding on to but haven't found a place to do it. That means a lot to people.
This is really dumb. It's the logic of an addict in denial. There is literally no activity you can engage in where you can say "I'll do this once so that I no longer feel the urge to do it again." The more you do something the more you get in the habit of doing it. This is just obvious.
There's literally an infinite number of ways to express your emotions positively but venting to the void is easily the worst thing you can do without resorting to crime.
And projecting his own lack of empathy/sympathy into others because he's a jackass, yeah
You can do that with a piece of paper, there's no need to put those thoguhts on other people unless you're looking for validation or reassurance, in which case that's not really venting.
@@iz2333 you can always not look or comment on vent posts. If venting helps then by all means do it.
@@Jesusblowsme666 I can't really do that since I don't get a say in what the social media algorithm gods decide to show me, unless I preemptively blocked anyone who could potentially vent post.
What people can actually do is type a text document or write on a piece of paper instead of social media. If it's actually about venting that's exactly the same but with less negativity for others.
It is an enigma. The people who are capable of self-help are usually the people who don't need it and the people who need it are rarely able to utilize it. That's why we have therapists.
In my experience, there are some people who complain to vent, and there are others who complain to wallow. The trick is to figure out which one you are, because if you are the latter, it only makes things worse.
Well, that clip slid down into sub fetish really quickly, with Vaush nonstop degrading his audience for twenty minutes.
I think you need more concrete examples of what productivity looks like! Just like "discipline", "productivity" is an incredibly loaded term that's been so woven into the capitalist fabric of society that many lefties are rightfully cautiously skeptical about.
In order to eliminate that confusion and to get at the heart of the issue; what makes your brand of self improvement different than "rise and grind" hustle culture?
I agree with you that in general the opposition to capitalist grindset, the so called "opposition" to that mindset is to be effete in the face of capitalist purgatory. But what does an Effective alternative look like?
I eschew those terms entirely. Instead ways of doing things that are in line with how my mind works, and doing things "because I should" (basically what discipline is) never works for me.
I would recommend checking out some HealthyGamerGG. He goes into a lot of mental health stuff with a focus on self improvement, very good stuff.
"You can die from someone else's misery - emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man, but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead." - Robert Greene
if you haven’t made friends out of random online people you vent to then you’re doing it wrong. it’s cool that being vulnerable and normalizing mental health issues in this way isn’t the thing for you. for some of us, it helps us get started when we don’t feel so alone. cut this bullshit out.
💯 I wouldn't have ever even begun therapy or found semi-enduring positive connections if I hadn't made those first steps at being vulnerable in a space I felt safest. I do know who Vaush is talking to in this segment.
Rare L from vaush, what's wrong with people sharing feelings it can be super helpful to hear online figures talking about their struggles I hate this line of reasoning
vosh is right about a lot of stuff but the "keep ur mental illnesses to urself" thing is pretty dumb
if somebody wants to talk to me they should know about my anger issues so its not as surprising when it happens
Literally as I read this comment the video got to the bit where he said "I'm not telling you to keep it to yourself"
@@manjackson2772 he said that about venting, not the thing my comment is about
@@manjackson2772 "I'm not telling you to keep it to yourself, but I'm saying every single thing possible to make you overthink whether its better to keep it to yourself."
This hits harder after being on both sides of a relationship with this dynamic.
On whether to vent to your online followers, friends, or therapists, if you do feel the need to vent, journal it. Keep a diary on it, so that any thing that comes to mind is kept between you and your diary.
Also good to help keep track to find pattern that may help fix or prevent lows. However ADHD I can’t journal to save my dang life I’m immediately distracted.
not necessarily share less, share less publicly as a means of just getting nods and more for actually getting help you might need. it's a struggle, but improvement isn't an impossibility as many have made it appear to be
My friends don't let me make jokes about myself. They get mad when I do. But it's okay for them to do it because they don't mean it they say. Basically, I just don't talk to people very much any more. Not about anything meaningful. It's a pretty lonely life and no one asks me how I am but I don't feel guilty for sharing anymore. Although, there's been an uptick in my youtube commenting...**thinking face emoji**
Make no mistake, I think it's wonderful that mental illness and neurodivergence have started to lose their historical stigma and that people have become more honest and open about and less ashamed of their issues, but things have really crossed over into a kind of fetishization of disability and suffering that is frankly counterproductive and unhealthy for both individuals and society.
I particularly resent how toxic (to overuse another Internet term) people have appropriated a lot of therapeutic language so that they can justify being abusive, obnoxious, irresponsible, and insufferable.
I am sooo excited for the snow to melt because I plan on being outside most of the time. Last Summer and Fall, I was walking all the time and even getting into hiking, and I just felt so good. I felt excited when I'd hit my minimum steps for the day, but absolutely euphoric to go above and beyond. And the pain in my muscles of just MOVING was something I cherished. I absolutely adore being on the move, even if I don't really enjoy stationary exercise, but gimme a good playlist and I'm GONE! Wooo!
Same!!
There were some people in my art classes who would spend every other day venting to the whole class
I grew to dislike them quite quickly
15:15
I don’t understand how people think grocery shopping is difficult. I make a list and go out and buy what’s on the list. Hell if I don’t wanna talk to anyone I’ll put on a Vaush video or a podcast and use the self checkout. Honestly the hardest part of grocery shopping is affording the groceries because of inflation and low wages for 99% of people lmao.
What’s working for me is trying to be productive but also being absolutely non-judgmental of myself when I’m not
"Don't feel guilty about it, feel motivated"
Oh thanks Vaush, I didn't realize that was a switch I could just flip. Geez, I sure spent years being self-desprecating for no reason at all, all I needed was this simple trick!
This entire segment feels so condescending it's unreal.
At no point did he say it was a switch. It takes effort, but the online left just like to meme about it, and that's it.
@NYX And the way to do that is to accept your feelings and come to terms with them, not to deliberately force your thoughts to conform to a new standard you've set for yourself.
I've tried to grind myself out of self-deprecation, and let me tell you, that was neither productive nor fun.
@@wabschall At no point is he actually taking the issue seriously or discussing how difficult it is to deal with. It's all "I'm tired of seeing people fail to deal with their issues, so if y'all could stop that, that would be great".
@Hunter Trax he is literally just talking about fairly simple things that you should work towards. Like being active, or literally cleaning your room.
@NYX Do you honestly think that "do good things, don't do bad things" is some profound truth people in a bad mental state need to be told by someone else?
Trust me, no person deliberately chooses to feel like shit simply because they've got an excuse for it. What people like you don't realize is that it's actually really fucking difficult to improve when you're at the rock bottom. Some people will get stuck, and let me tell you, telling them that they're simply "not trying hard enough" does about as much good as telling someone with a broken leg to walk it off.
Regarding the food, just cook a big (cacerola) of beans, you just need an onion, garlic tooths, salt and pepper and you have enought food for an entire week. Add any type of rice and you've just made 2 weeks of good food. Add banana slices, chese, or anything else and that adds more flavours.
Lemon or Jamaica, you have a good beverage for the rest of the week.
I'm gonna offer a bit of a reframing take on your points about guilt being useless, Vaush. Based on the research by Brené Brown, what you're actually describing is shame. Basically, guilt=I fucked up (focus on actions), shame=I am a fuck up/fucked up (focus on self). The research suggests that guilt is you realizing your actions don't fit with the person you want to be, & is a motivating emotion to work on that shit. It's helpful in helping you know how you're doing in life. Whereas shame is this idea that you are unfixable, ugly, horrible, & that if someone knew all the ways you are those things they'd rightly reject you. So you hide that, or pretend that you're cool with the way things are, or seek that copium through the vent-posting, doom-scrolling, alcohol/other drugs, self-harm, porn, shopping, etc. Being vulnerable through honesty about your intentions to change, seeking healthy friends despite the risk of rejection, & accepting accountability from those healthy friends is how you squash the shame. Other than that, you're basically saying a lot of what I say as a therapist regularly, but with a lot less aggression.
Had to help my friends with their breakup recently. That fiasco hurt my mental health and I ended up turning hostile on that.
Now I don't want to be involved in helping out ppl who have mental health issues, even if they're my friends
It's a difficult line to walk. It's good to be willing to listen to your friends when they're having a hard time, but it's also important to be able to set the boundaries where your realize someone is just using you as an emotional dump and are doing nothing to improve their own situation. That's the important thing: you can't do it for them, they have to do it for themselves. If they aren't willing to do that, then no, you shouldn't spend too much time engaging in their misery.
Set boundaries, for yourself, for others. There's nothing wrong with having healthy lines you don't want others to cross. Having limits on the kind of help you're willing to give is not only normal, but necessary. You're not an endless well of emotional support.
Actually good video, while of course i wouldn't word it as harshly if i was giving this advice, i got the point. I think too many missed it cause they feel called out, or aren't use to being told "hey these tendencies you have aren't healthy, and no it's not okay to wallow in pain and do nothing about your life, even if it is legitimately difficult, you still need to do something"
Counterpoint: they *have* to be worded so harshly, because that's the only hope of them getting through to some of the people who need to hear such. This has been stated more kindly, by both Vaush himself and others, many times before - those who only need a gentle reminder have already gotten one and moved on accordingly.
Even in this comment section, as you pointed out, you still have people to whom it wasn't harsh *enough* for them to get it. And that's fine, because Vaush isn't our friend, and so him giving everyone this stern lecture was already going above and beyond.
"Groceries aren't hard"
That is true, the process itself isn't hard, what makes it hard for me personally is that I know people near where I live have a poor impression of me (small neighborhood) and going to the groceries means potentially encountering said people. It's never about the task itself, it's about the environment surrounding it. That being said, that shouldn't be an excuse, Vaush is correct about the need for you to push through and fight for your well being, no one is coming to your rescue, it needs to be you.
Bad take. It's a coping mechanism just like anyone has to cope with any disability.
This video is too good not to have on the main channel imo. Honestly might be my favorite Vaush vid/take thus far.
I think there are situations where venting is CRUCIAL. However, people can't just vent and think everything is alright, if anything you should use venting to figure out what you should start working on next to improve your situation
Also I need to add, usually the things that will help you the most are the ones that you feel averse to when people tell them to you like Vaush did in this segment
No one thinks venting is going to cure their depression. They vent because they feel the need to. Venting does not magically prove someone isn't trying desperately to get out of depression. Stop victim blaming.
@@DaveGrean Yeah I think the same, I just wanted to conciliate what he said and what I think
Specially cause I don't like the way Vaush just downplays venting so much
@@i_have4dream987 Yeah sorry for my angry tone, bit shocked at the messed up stuff I'm reading in this comment section and I may be starting to overgeneralise towards anyone who says something even remotely like it.
You're okay, I'm sorry
This might be the most helpful video I've ever seen on this platform.
I would recommend some HealthyGamerGG videos; he does good stuff, in a similar vein as this, but not quite as aggressive, but still with a focus on self-improvement and all that.
Thank god someone else notices it, as a therapist I see the identification of mental health in Gen Z especially
Speak the truth 💜
Funny but sad so many chatters took issue
People getting mad because they see themselves in your criticism or because they don’t in your specific conditions 😢
It’s the difference between “I have depression and that makes my life hard so why bother?” and “I have depression and that makes my life hard; how do I work around it?” Get yourselves some wheelchairs, people. Life can be accessible to most
A year and a half ago, I was pretty damn on top of everything. After a negative life event, I became the opposite. Being in that opposite negative behavior has caused negative thoughts about myself.
Did I want to stay in this bad feedback loop? No. Vaush is right. Do something about it.
Coming from someone who is terrible at organization:
1. Buy a planner for the year, it will make this easier.
2. On a generic day or week that at the beginning of the planner, list your responsibilities, leave room for more in case you forgot them. Even if it's simple, pick up mail, grocery shopping, clean the floors, clean the counters, clean the fridge, etc.
3. Decide which days you should do each of these activities, but don't overload whole days because you won't have the time or energy. For example, I will not put "clean the yard, trim the hedges, clean the car, clean the garage" on the same day I will "clean the counters, floors, fridge, bathroom" etc. Know yourself and how much energy you have.
4. Next, plan from Sunday - Saturday what you want to eat each day. What ingredients you want to cook with, maybe their price, how long the leftovers will last, etc.
5. Lastly, when you complete a task, highlight it green, give it a check mark, or whatever will make you feel happy or satisfied that you finished that task and more.
6. Optional, but I plan on doing this soon. Outline a timeline of what you expect each day of your week will look like. Timeframe you get ready to work, times you work, timeframe you walk the dog, etc. I have difficulty making time to go to the gym. So, I will literally plan it out.
This does several things. It gives your life structure and organization. When you finish your tasks you will feel very good seeing all the positive check marks, this will encourage you more to keep up the good work. Also, the food and groceries one is a good way to budget money to save money. It's cheaper (in CA ) to cook your own food than to eat out in any capacity.
Don't expect changes in behavior to be immediate. It takes time to become organized if you were not before. If something isn't working out (after time of trial.and error), mix around the days and responsibilities, and split them up until they do work.
"It is incredibly easy to maintain bad habits, but it is incredibly difficult to start good habits". I heard this in Middle School and have always felt it's true.
Good luck people. I hope the best for us all.
So you think other people DO want to stay depressed? Holy shit, you are impressively stupid.
Have you ever considered that trying is not a guarantee for success, and that someone staying depressed for a long time doesn't magically prove that they aren't trying? Stop victim blaming
Um excuse me, when should I doomscroll on Twitter for 6 hours? Surely there is time alotted for that, right? Also, when should I play 8 consecutive hours of video games while eating the most unhealthy snack I can find?
@@butHomeisNowhere___ I do that on Sundays. (8 hr video games)
I don't do social media, you can figure that one out 🤣
As the great Ethosaur said, self aggrandizing humor is and will always be better than self deprecating humor.
Guilt isn't useless. Why do you think I'm never doing that shit again? Because I feel guilty! You're so wrong that it's not motivating.
Venting also helps me a lot. (of course only to friends. You're right on that account.) Just getting something out there makes it feel like much less of a burden. And once I've vented about my issues, I feel motivated to do something about it because I know I'll feel guilty if I just vented without doing something about it.
See how that works?
Really though, you kinda have a point in practice. A lot of people just vent and go into depression spirals and being on twitter or exclusively around people who are in the same boat isn't exactly helpful. Heck, I've been there too. At some point I was done feeling sorry for myself and decided to start doing what I can to do better. And it works. So yeah, you're kinda right. But I don't think you're exactly phrasing it correctly here. The guilt and the venting can certainly be helpful.
(Also, I'm right and you're wrong and I'm gonna feel really smug about it.)
"discipline is freedom" slapped. this was a good watch, thanks Vaush.
Vaush is right here, I had to learn a lot of this stuff the hard way. I used to depressively vent to people, and it ended some good friendships. Self expression doesn’t mean you have to burden other people, you’ll be surprised by how much just taking a step back is able to help. One should be able to function as their own individual, without needing that validation
"don't burden your friends"
"You should talk to your friends"
Ikr?? He doesn't hear himself talk
@@catboy_official I think he likes to hear himself talk, that's the issue.
I like Vaush, but sometimes he just seems to be coming from a place of pure ego. I think he was venting about someone in particular and it's like rude AF to do that so publicly.
Always be paranoid whether your friends, people that presumably like being around you enough, find you a burden ~ Vaush, 2023
There is a difference you know
Damn, people find grocery shopping hard? I find it to be a real mental health break.
Doesn't "discipline is freedom" come from Jocko Willink, AKA "Grug"? That was a fucking funny video.
Destiny died in this debate or whatever the dumb joke is.
Reminds me of the time dunkey beat sky in smash
Vaush is a boys name
You can take care of your body and not be a fascist at the same time