I'm probably just a little older than Michelle, and it's taken me THIS long to realize that guys are generally terrified of putting themselves out there to be rejected by women. When I was younger, I often got approached by the degenerates who hang out on street corners. But the guys who I actually liked never made it known that they liked me, and I had always been told that as a woman you shouldn't "chase" men, so it went nowhere. I decided to take a chance once though, with a "friend", and it turns out that he liked me a whole lot too! He was just afraid I wasn't into him like that. We've been married 11 years now. Everyone is afraid to be rejected, but no risk, no reward. The men have more to lose these days though, so I can understand why they'd be more hesitant to approach. Not ALL, but most of the guys who boldly approach women, majority of the time, are boldly chatting up other girls as well. Or just don't care if they're making you uncomfortable.
Well you can't just pick and choose confidence🤷🏿♂️. What makes you think that If he is boldly approaching you then he is not boldy approaching other women. Especially if his game is pretty polished, you think we ain't approaching other women, okay?
Chasing men and asking a man on a date are two different things 🙄. People who follow these rules instead of just being nice and putting yourself out there are sad.
I'm glad you guys responded to her video. What's funny is that in her previous video she told of the time she was approached in the gym by a guy who tried flirting with her in the most cliché way while she was busy working out. When she turned him down, he went away and a few moments later she saw him pulling the exact same moves on other women at the gym. It pretty much illustrates what Aba said, the guys who still approach girls now are mostly the ones who just don't give a f*ck.
The oblivious side of female nature is STAGGERING. These wmen have created a culture of harams. And are surprised when most men are out cold turkey. On the other hand. If you are financially stable. Just pay for the segs. Works for me. I know it isn't for everybody. But money is a women's kryptonite. They'll do ANYTHING, and brevs I mean A N Y T H I N G for money.
One thing I have noticed if I’m all dressed up and have my makeup done I don’t get hit on very much. But if I’m in sweat pants and no makeup I get hit on so much more. It took me a long time before I finally figured out I just looked less intimidating that way and like I would be less likely to reject them. It’s terrible because if I’m looking like a mess I usually don’t want to talk to anyone but when I dressed up I really don’t mind the extra attention because I’m feeling confident. It’s all so damn backwards.
also girls are hotter in sweatpants etc. sometimes...doesn't make you feel like youre chasing someone who is fake but someone who actually has real values
There’s a reason why dating apps are so commonly used and for many men its their only form of “approaching” women. Nowadays, social skills have declined overall, confidence to approach isn’t common, and fear of rejection/ being labeled as a creep is at a all time high
Yeah idk about that. I've approached guys before when I was dating and I'd be rejected most of the time. Dating apps are just a guarantee that there's some attraction but not a guarantee towards relationship.
The sad part is, dating apps are horrible for men. Especially because most women aren’t on them. The ratio is 5:1… men are better off trying figuring out their social anxiety then hiding behind their phone on dating apps.
I was in a relationship for 9 years, married for 4 of those years, and when that ended, I tried putting myself back out there, going to the gym, trying to have friendly conversations with women but not if they were clearly uninterested, and not asking them out, just making conversation to build my social skills back up. It was going well and I was feeling better, but then I made the mistake of going on dating apps. Men, if you want to kill your self-esteem, go on dating apps after a breakup. It works wonders. I've never felt such a lack of confidence before! The upside is it helped me realize that I don't want a relationship just to say I'm in one. I only want to bother if it's clear that the woman is into me from the start. I won't approach any more. I know that likely means I'll be single for the rest of my life, but after a 9 year relationship with a selfish, shallow narcissist, being single isn't that bad of a thing.
I wouldn’t give up if I was you. Dating apps are the worst thing I won’t lie. But approaching as well as social circles work wonders. Especially if you got some type of status, good personality or good looking. If not just get your money up and join the passport bros. Go to a different country (especially if you white somewhere like india is a good place) and you’ll meet a solid girl who’s traditional af. Might go sideways (after all it’s always a dice roll) but you can always roll again at the end of the day. Don’t give up man, that’s all I say. I think life becomes meaningless and empty when you do and as corny as it sounds there is someone that wants you out there, you just gotta find it!
"Men, if you want to kill your self-esteem, go on dating apps after a breakup. It works wonders. I've never felt such a lack of confidence before!" For real though, cracked me up. I'm right there with you, though I was only married for a couple of years. Hope someone endearing shows up in your life.
imo you should just find a social life and from there you should only ask women out who you can trust not to mock you on tiktok because she cares about you 1% and doesn’t just see you as some old guy.
maybe I'm just an ignorant youth since I'm like 20 but, if you was my friend id tell u to stop being a puss. 8 point something billion people are on this planet, we have planes and more than half of that are women. figure it out and stop being puss. go get a testosterone bump from the gym and ride that shit out until you find someone. I'm definitely not attractive but my ego is so inflated it makes them think i am. Arrogance is definitely my shield. All I've got to my name is some juvenile humour and a bench pr of 135kg. If i found somebody anyone can. I still bang out a set of push ups for a pump before i take out my girl for confidence. everyone is insecure in some ways. For me its my height I'm like 5'9, i feel like god was just tryna humble me but it just backfired and made me more cocky. Don't get demoralised be a man and firm it. Pain is only temporary. Mind over matter.
As a man I stopped approaching simply because I'm tired of dead ends. Getting a number or a snapchat isn't the issue, it's actually setting up the dates or scheduling a meet up is when all of a sudden the girls stop responding or starts responding slow asf. I've realized that my most successful times with women is when she was interested in me first, texted me first, wanted to mee up first etc. Overall I think women putting in more effort when it comes to pursuing men would be a win-win, guys are easy so it's not nearly as much of a hurdle.
This is why I give out my number. I can't get ignored if i'm not sending the first message. I can't lie it's only worked a few times but I'm not tryna get numbers for zero correspondence anymore
Honestly I get this. I'm a straight woman but even I get major anxiety approaching other women in a completely friendly way, especially if they are in large groups. I know not all women are catty, rude and snarky because I've known many women who are not. But the anxiety still lingers from the bad catty encounters I've had with other ladies. When they're bad they can be really bad.
My mom told me since I was a teen(I'm 22 now) to be very wary of women cuz of her experiences with them. She doesn't have any friends anymore, I realize its her unfortunate experience and anecdotal but I won't lie between this and all of the stuff I've been seeing on youtube for the past 3 yrs I definitely feel more suspicious towards them.
I feel the same! I'm a straight woman too but I believe its because I went to an all girl school and it was a terrible time for me, that I feel anxious talking to other women. Especially women who are pretty and seem to have their stuff together. But there are other women whom I do approach and chat to and I don't feel as overwhelmed or self-conscious interacting with them. So, I'm not saying I understand the male experience fully, but I can sympathise.
@@markusmath3421 lmao no wonder she has no friends. I've noticed that most, if not all of the girls I've encountered that say they don't wanna be friends with women (more accurately that they CANT make any friends with women) are the ones who have bad perceptions of women. Like ofc if you think women are snakey and vile then you're not gonna get along with many women.
I’ll take it one step further: The reason she hasn’t noticed a decrease in the men who approached her is the fact that the type of man that opt out of approaching women like her are the kind of men she don’t notice, or that are invisible to her to begin with.
She really just said that men are telling her these things and how they feel, and her response is " nah, you lying." I also wanna add: as a woman that also gets 'approached ' alot, as in men will walk by me and tell me they think I'm beautiful, hold doors open for me, etc, etc,. that's not the same as a man approaching me to try to have some sort of relationship with me. There's no rejection in simply complementing a girl, hearing"thank you" and then keeping it moving. These men that "approach" her are probably not taking the next step to have contact with her again, but she thinks that it's all one and the same.
Yeah, especially when I was younger I got a lot of compliments on my appearance, but I have literally had maybe 2 men in my entire life ask me out on a date.
@@EMG725 Same and I agree with you. She is NEVER the one to miss the mark but damn did she with that one. It goes to show you that even your favorite creators aren’t socially aware outside themselves.
The one time I approached a group of women at a bar, I had a cool conversation with their guy friends (they were all coworkers at an insurance company), one of whom was kind enough to buy me a round, and immediately after one of the women who I was NOT interested in, began berating me in front of everyone over how poor I was, and that I didn't pay my own bills, because I didn't answer quickly enough what car insurance I had. I'm pretty sure I made double or triple what they did, but I was too gentlemanly to say anything for fear of making her much nicer friends feel bad. Long story short, the stereotype of the gross trashy woman gatekeeping access to her cuter, sweeter friends is true.
Some of you write the cheesiest, most cringe rage bait comments ever. That never happened. Any schizophrenic now has access to this internet and can come up with these stories and yall are so gullible to eat it up 💀
@@vince11harris No, I'm afraid people will actually believe fake accusations and it could bring a lot of downsides. Don't tell me it's not an issue to be considered a creep by everyone around you.
I'm very introverted and struggle with confidence issues. I have never approached a woman that I did not know at all. My best friend is a woman, but we met playing a sport and she approached me. She has helped me a ton to overcome my confidence issues and improve my social interaction skills. I am very grateful for her help. I know most of the people that I'm friends with because she's an extrovert and makes it easy to meet other people. I met the woman that I'm currently pursuing through the friend group that my best friend helped me build. I would never have approached this woman if I had just seen her at a bar/grocery store. I don't think I would ever just "cold call" someone like that. I need something in common with you first.
As a fellow introvert, having an extroverted friend that can act as an ambassador for you is hugely helpful. The fact she's also a woman helps you tremendously as well since it acts as social proof for other women. Best of luck with your current pursuit!
@@Totsy30holy crap you’re so right that will benefit a lot of men, i had bad luck with women because the friends I make that are women are introverted and don’t even got at least one friend so what help am I gonna get with trying to find a girlfriend when it looks like the only female friend you got isn’t interested in making more friends so you can be introduced to new people
I'm a 32yr old guy and I'll be honest, I've mostly just given up on finding someone. Had a couple gfs in high school, got to college, and was treated like trash for even being interested in some women at clubs and bars (I even had one spit at me for asking if I could buy her a drink). I tried dating sites/apps where I'd set up a date, get there, and wait. Just for them not to show and send me a message about how I was a lot more ugly in person and my photos were misleading. I'm not saying that this solo style is excellent for me, personally. I still have the urge to find someone to make my wife. But I don't see the benefit of wasting time to be made to feel shitty about myself. And I understand men that will choose to be alone rather than taken advantage of in the dating sphere.
Go abroad bro. The value systems are different and you'd fair better if you are a man of character. Just make sure you're constantly trying to improve yourself before that point.
They really did, though. Why should I be nice. If nice men are derided? Why should I be honest. When liars are revered. The list goes on and on and on. So guys end up just being f boys. Help the single independent lady to rack more graveyards in her attempt to live her best life. Then get back home to chill with the homies. Let's not forget how these ladies VIDEO record themselves running trains, twerking it up, doing the most insanely disgusting things EVER. Then expect you to treat her like she hasn't just made herself available to all those other people she has been with, all those years.
My last ex cheated on me after four years and told me the reason was "You're good enough but he might be better", I haven't dated since. Hearing that from her broke me more than I want to admit, and I can't bear to put myself out there and risk getting hurt like that again.
I am sorry for you terrible experience. You are doing well preventing this to happen again. This hypergamous instinct is rampant. Get a passport or be a monk. Western women spoil each other's relationships with words like that.
Mate don't let one person dictate your life. I walked in one my ex cheating, its not that deep. 2 years later she was in my dm begging me to come to a party. I'm talking, leaving her on read within 2 weeks the same message with love hearts and xoxoxoxo. It was pathetic, she's alone and I'm happy without her. Guy literally was overweight and had acne at 30, guy had no money etc. She did it out of insecurity, and she's victim blaming. Youre letting your emotions lead you, Men lead with logic no matter how much it hurts our feelings, that's the curse of being a "real man" "Real men don't cry" is a saying for a reason, we dont have that luxury we have jobs to do and family to support.
Sorry you weren't through that. I promise you that not all girls are like that, but the ones that are reasonable will probably be hard to find because they just don't put themselves out there or doll themselves up as much as much as the hoes do.
She put that in an insensitive way after cheating on you. Don't let that discourage you. Relationships don't often last till you / them deserve to be with each other or till they deserve to be on your level. So chill and trust the universe. There are plenty of fish in the sea, keep your head up be confident and start a new chapter.!
I'm glad a lot of the comments made me feel better about approaching men first. I was told it's a turn off to men if i reached out first or made the first move and that it is 'masculine'. But i'mma go ahead and pursue my crush. Whatever happens happens lol
@@the90sbrain both really. my dad has told me to wait to be approached and to let men provide. ive seen guys act weird about getting asked out by my female friends. in my experience, no woman has told me specifically not to but its never mentioned either (but it does happen). if you ask a man out as a woman, you come off as desperate ive witnessed. its an old school mindset that people let limit their dating pool
@@brookethomas5158 Okay, fair. As a man though, seeing many other men have spoken out on this, we would love it if women approached and were more direct with empathy. The reason guys may avoid you is because for generations women haven't approached men like men do for women. Everything is on us. Most women don't like making the first move unless it's their ideal man or the guy the other girls are swooning over. Also, If you listen to most dudes who allowed the woman to make the moves or lead in any shape or form, she usually got pig headed, resentful, and became a bully about it. Emasculating the man for having to do what the guy traditionally would do. Even with a one time thing, like asking the man out. That's why we get leery of women asking us out or taking the initiative in general. But, if the ladies made it to where you guys overall meant what you say and didn't attack us for your engagement or leadership, we would relax more and allow things to happen. The problem is, the wrong people on all sides are following what others do for validation, instead of doing what works for them.
@@the90sbrain Its a group mentality/lack of empathy thing why there are so many women who reject men harshly. Its for views on the internet, entertainment for friends or to feel a sense of superiority or righteousness. Men who slut shame or troll online go through the same process pretty much. Nowadays it is easier to dehumanize and not see the perspective of the otherside. And I agree about it being all sides. Most of the times I was asked out was a jokes. The first time I was actually asked out (he got his friend to do it), I thought it was a joke and was not ready to date. For 3 months I was ridiculed and called derogatory names by his friends for rejecting a guy who's face I never saw and tried my best to let down easily and honestly. We could all use some empathy. I understand how much courage it takes for someone to do something like that (I don't blame that guy too much) which is why i know i would be scared out of my mind taking that leap. I dont know too many men in those relationships to understand your leeriness for women who do take initiative tho, but the best thing you can do if youre dating someone who belittles you or makes you feel small is having an honest discussion or breakup. It takes courage to do both, but think about the longterm w/ the expectation that that is who they are and that you cant change them. No one deserves poor treatment and I courage that people, no matter how hard it may be, stand up for themselves first.
@@brookethomas5158 I agree for the most part on what you said. Also, I'm sorry you experienced that moment in dating. It sucks for all of us, but it makes you see others worlds. Many men are avoiding women and dating now to not be attacked or labeled some type of sex offender. We really want to be with you guys as much as the weirdos who are typically approaching you, but we have experienced and seen too much. That's why you feel or think the way you do. It's all you know, just like us. Most of us decent/good ones, are chilling in our apartments, houses, cars, or have been convinced to buy passports and leave. If you want to meet guys like that or if any other ladies who are serious & interested in good mates. Get you an Xbox, Playstation 4/5, PC, Nintendo Switch, watch sports, WWE, Anime, and start hunting with what's left while you still can. Once you guys get them, treat them well, and hang on for dear life. Unless, they are abusing you. Good luck.
The amount of anxiety and fear I feel just thinking about approaching someone and asking them out is astronomical. I was far braver over a decade ago before social media got as bad as it is now. Nowadays I'm afraid to wind up on a TikTok and labeled a creep just for asking for someone's number. Of course, after my ex left a couple years ago it left me in a bad spot from a financial aspect as well. Frankly, I feel too insecure as to where I'm at in life to even consider asking someone out. Back home with my mom at 28 because I couldn't afford to live on my own anymore after my ex bailed. It's embarrassing.
Pick yourself up king. Downtime is fine and feeling shit is fine too but don't make it a lifestyle. You can be better, she never deserved you. Find yourself and your strengths again. Forget about women for a while
there's something i want you to register deeply in your head, they are human as much as you. it's like that with you because unconsciously, you put them on a pedestal either as a judge who looks down at you or a monarch looking at her people. i repeat, they are human.
Sorry to hear that you’re in a rough spot. But that’s just a phase of life. Things will get better. You’re young, and as you gradually find the work and friends that make you happy and independent, the rest will start to fall into place. Don’t underestimate the power of break-ups. They can cut you to the core. So let yourself heal and grow in a new direction. It’s not something that can be rushed, nor is it a race.
I have 0 men come up to me 😂 I've just learned that if I'm interested in a man, I go up to him and just ask him out. That's how I got my boyfriend now. He has thanked me many times for it. Because he told me he would of never approached me because he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. He just assumed I would be. So I agree with you guys. I think alot of our male friends say the same.
On top of potentially making you feel uncomfortable, there are many potential possibilities that make even conversing with a woman dangerous; being rejected is the least of our worries, as our entire way of life can be uprooted with a single online post.
"Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something." - Anonymous According to dating coach Ryan Hussey, only a small percentage of men approach women regardless of what may happen. The ones who approach no matter what are most likely players (Chads, Tyrones, bad boys) who don't care. But as a result, it starts this cycle where women will think all men are trash because the only ones they've ever interacted with were trash. Most men, the good ones, wait for the right moment to approach a woman. If she's with her friends, talking to another man (even if it's her gay friend), is doing work, eating, reading, etc., he will not approach her. It's even harder now to find a moment for men to approach women in todays world of cancel culture, modern feminism and MeToo.
@@neonnwave1but why can’t men have bigger balls. They want women to have the bigger balls to approach. That’s a fking turn off to me if I have to show more courage than a man.
@@annco9801 why can't we have bigger balls lmao... women be telling us for 7 years about approaching in public, in bars, "leave us alone, I am with my girls, I don't need a man interrupting" etc etc. all it takes is one photo, one tweet, one video and we lose our entire job and we get hated by the internet
@@annco9801 As Aba said in the video, if a man has something to lose (job, reputation, money, etc.) he's gonna be more cautious and not take any risks. When a woman approaches a man, she has nothing to risk. When a man approaches a woman, he risks being labelled a creep, perv, stalker, etc. and getting cancelled, which could result in him losing his job, finances, and/or more. It has nothing to do with having bigger balls, it's about being safe. If you knew that eating fugu can result in death if not prepared right, would you still risk eating it not knowing if you'd find it delicious? Same rule applies with men approaching women in this day and age since it's a gamble.
I literally met my husband( 11years married, 13 together) because of his sister. But he said if we had not been introduced he may not have approached me. 🤷♀️ when I met him no one else existed to me, still don’t outside of they are a person. I always tried/try to be kind to anyone trying to approach. Because unless they are being overly aggressive or creepy why be mean? Be up front but kind. Maybe that is just me, because I know I struggle to step out of my comfort zone so I give everyone that same grace.
Story time: I remember one time there was this girl I liked in highschool, I had a class with her. we hung out so much that she asked me to walk her to next class, So I thought we were hitting it of pretty well. One day I asked her if she wanted to see a movie or something. She then told me she just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything, I didn't have a problem with it. That was until the next school day when she hooked up with my older brother. Now, I wasn't mad at my brother or anything, in fact I understood why. I was more nerdy and honestly overweight and had hella acne . My brother was tall, good looking and was oozing with fuckboy energy. I was more upset with the girl because she wasn't honest with me, and pretty soon I started noticing the same patterns with other girls I was interested in (edit: by this I mean that they were trying to be nice when rejecting me. But in turn it just hurt me a bit more than being straight forward). That was five years ago and since then, I haven't been or thought about being in a relationship since. And now looking back on it I'm kinda glad. Recently I decided to work on myself. I legit looked in the mirror one day and said "I'm gonna get sexy, and I ain't gon let none of y'all bitches hit". I lost 100 lbs in a year and I'm currently planning to start an exercise routine. I've also gained some level of confidence and feel better than ever. This probably has nothing to due with this video, but I just wanted to share this story in case anybody wanted to hear it. Keep your heads up.
Yoo good for you that's great you worked on yourself and didn't let it get to you I like what you said lol "I am gonna get sexy and ain't gon let none of y'all bitches hit" 💀hahaha I need this on a shirt so when I go to the gym I wear it lol
This is related somewhat and relatable. i commend you brother, girls and grown women like her stay playing games until the day they hit the wall. She showed you her true nature and its a good thing you didn't get involved. Amazing work on losing 100lbs, i respect any overweight person who goes to the gym or loses weight, its really really encouraging. When I workout and see other guys who are already ripped or swole? im like good for them. But when i see overweight people at the gym? 👏👏👏 a friend of mine also lost 85 lbs and stays in shape to this day, its really tough work to cut fat. So brother keep going and stay strong, stay focused 💪💪👏👏 Who knows? A loyal one out there will want you
… I honestly think that you would still be here writing this paragraph if she had simply said “No thanks, I’m not attracted to you.” You win some, you lose some.
I'm a guy and I don't usually go up to women anymore. Not necessarily because I've had bad experiences, but because I've seen it happen to other guys. Especially in the age of cameras and viral videos, some women flirt/instigate a situation so men can approach them just to reject the men and feel better about themselves. Personally, I don't care either way. I wouldn't approach super attractive women anyway... Normal women tend to have less attitude and mal intentions and are generally easier to talk to
I’m a 42 yr old Black woman that’s been called cute. I roller skate; wear video game, comic book, and manga shirts; and have a book bag covered in pop culture pins and keychains. I’ve been approached by dudes as young as 22 and as old as 62. Having been made fun of and called ugly growing up, I’m still very surprised when men want to talk to me. Some have been professionals my age and some were not put together at all. Because of the bullying I developed social anxiety disorder so I understand being awkward socially. When a socially awkward dude approaches me I am very patient and usually engage. Now if he is aggressive and/or rude, I’ll tell him so and excuse myself. I’ve also been touched, grabbed, and followed by male strangers and developed a fear of men. Therapy is helping a lot. I write all of that to say this: my experiences as a Black woman that’s socially awkward, nerdy, and geeky are not often spoken of. Are we rare? Nope! It depends on where you go. I just live like this: my experiences are mine and I hear and respect the experiences of others. 😊
Sounds similar to my experience. I'm attractive but not conventional for a Black woman. Had all kinds of weird experiences in the dating world with guys that sometimes makes me weary. Not often approached in clubs but being friendly gets smiles and looks. I've developed a tough, quirky outer shell after seeing a pattern of my more conventionally attractive female friends being pestered, stalked and sexually assaulted. Not that they asked for it but I just didn't want to show up on the radar of these sexual bullies.
I approached a girl I liked in high-school, she and her friends made sure I never liked anyone else for the duration of high-school. Not worth losing sanity over.
The best way to aproach a girl you find attractive in a specific place is to talk to them and not try to close the thing but let it open ask for her name, present yourself, compliment her and then leave. I'm telling you if you happen to see her again it will be easier because you already talked to her you know her name and she will remember you because you didn't hit on her and ask her out or for her contact. And in that way you will have a lot of time to think what to say to her next time you see her and won't be pressured to close the thing, be successful, not get rejected, and be smooth.
I’m a man in my 30s and I’m going to openly admit that the current dating scene makes me not want to bother altogether anymore. Hell even in the gym lately I noticed I’ve been keeping my distance due to all of the uptick of lady influencers calling out “gym creeps” who are most likely just trying to mind their own. Granted I do talk to women at places where I work but it’s usually over mundane things and nothing else. I have confidence that this period will eventually change. Edit: Did not expect so many responses for this 😆 Appreciate the positive thoughts and feedback gang. Feels good knowing I ain’t the only one going through it.
I've watched your videos for a few years now and I'm only now noticing how beneficial the way you structure your videos are. You do it in a way that almost feels like a conversation/discussion instead of a "here's why I'm right and you're wrong" kind of approach. It helps a lot because it allows for us as the viewers to see one perspective as well as your response with your own perspectives. And that's what's so necessary these days. No one has a clue about how to talk to each other and actually come to a conclusion about the topics that makes sense for us as people to move forward. I've never really known how difficult it was for men as the usual initiator for dating/marriage, until I watched your videos. I'm not exactly the top pick either, but it helps me to realize that they are also having a tough time and we could help each other when it comes to reviving confidence around dating. This commentary was necessary thank you.
@@tiffanykim2773 I don't post it out in video format tho. Worked at a club myself so I know the dynamic they speak of. Plus it's 2023, y'all wanna be equal - approach us too - ask em out too🤣
@@tiffanykim2773 yeah, but that doesn't mean that you base that off of everything. If you're ignorant or have no knowledge in something, just say that. Tbf though, I think she did say in her experience.
@J to be fair, I am okay with being the first to ask out when/if there are obvious hints - but the amount of time I got ghosted or led on alone is not worth it for me. After like 22, I spent about 7 years just being a homebody, working, and having hobbies. Then I met someone foreign, who was upfront about who I was and she's still committed to seeing this out as well, so we shall see how it goes. Immense respect for the dedication of some guys (and some ladies) who go out and get rejected time and time again tho - it's definitely not for me
As a woman who crushes on women daily, i understand the struggle lol idk why i feel so intimidated but i thing social media plays a hugeeeee role! we now see the inner workings and thoughts of the female mind and how some interpret receiving attention, its scary
As someone who’s gone smack at dudes I honestly feel like only women who have actually approached men themselves can somewhat understand how nerve wracking it is to just walk up to someone out of thin air and try and spark a convo to get a number. Unless you’re Uber charismatic, handsome and like you both eluded to - tall - you’re not always gonna have the confidence and “what have I got to lose” attitude to walk up to women you find attractive and try and spit game. It takes tons of practice and lots of self esteem to do that and not grow bitter from being rejected or fearful of even approaching. I say this as a woman who gets approached by men when I go out & I always give out my number (or take theirs) even if I know I’m not interested just so that the guy does not have to deal with the rejection right then and there lol My advice to women who feel like they’re not getting approached is to be approachable. If you’re out somewhere and see a guy you think is cute - make eye contact and smile at him, maybe a little wave. Lol and if he’s interested that will give him an opening to say “ok she notices me too lemme start an interaction” it takes two.
I'm a reasonably attractive woman in my 20s and I can tell you that what you said about 'decent' men not approaching women, is true. I had to approach my husband. He was too shy and, as he put it, didn't want to be a creep or weird me out. Furthermore, I think most dudes prefer online dating nowadays. A lot of my single friends complain about men not approaching them at bars or wherever. It's just not something that's done anymore.
I don’t even think most guys like online dating, outside of the fact that it’s a little more “mutual” in terms of approaching someone. Apps are a bit of a trap in itself.
online dating is good only for that top percentile of men. It has recently took a toll on my emotional health, I'm just not even going to attempt anymore, praying i meet someone in person now. I consider myself a decent guy but for some reason women just don't match with me or i never get past the stage of successfully setting up the date when i do match
Yep respect to you for approaching your husband. More women prob need to start approaching if they a decent man or the man they want. Women can't be lazy anymore and expect any man to approach, they have to put in some sort of effort which can be a good thing and a bad thing
Same here, I had to approach my boyfriend cuz he was more reserved. I have no problem doing the approaching, talking to someone and least seeing if we can have an interesting conversation.
A lot of men are still respectful and kind, too. It’s unfortunate that they feel like they’re constantly being watched under a microscope, just waiting to be called a creep for simply being attracted to someone. I like the point Aba made about how we’re just arguing with a caricature of the other gender. It’s like we’re talking AT each other instead of TO each other.
I am totally capable of approaching a Woman and have in the past. I've also scored off of approaching, plenty of times, but now a days....I don't even bother honestly. I don't give a damn how fine the chick is honestly, I'd rather not get labeled a predator by the Woman Im approaching or the Women on lookers. IN ANY ENVIRONMENT. Plus, when you look good and play the ignore game, that draws their attention more because they are concerned with why they aren't getting the attention from someone they're attracted to. Can't stand this STOOOOPID ASSZZ Dating Game shit.
That last sentence hits different, i have no problem approaching either but when you have game and you have experience to understand how people move, you get tired of that shit, you find out 90% of girls are still stuck in the games (whatever their age) and you're like "aaah this childish shit never ends.., i dont know where they got that "women mature faster than men" from, im pretty sure they talking only about the body, because mentally they can be lame af
Here's the thing. Whether it's at the club, out on the street, or in the grocery store, we're not mind readers. We're not going to know that 10 dudes have approached a woman already and now they're pissed. We're not going to know that they think getting approached on a street or in the grocery store is creepy and not welcome. The worst thing they can do isn't just say no anymore. Some of us are out here thinking if we tried to approach a woman, we're going to be on the next creep video posted on TikTok. You know what's safer and almost guaranteed to not be cast in that kind of light? Doing nothing. Plus, when you're alone, you literally get to do whatever you want whenever you want. And you can't say that when you're in a relationship. Relationships from start to finish are tons of stress and hard work. You like capitalism? What's the return on investment for all that stress and effort?
To be fair, you've gotta just keep an open mind and look for a partner who complements you like peanut butter and jelly. The relationship isn't work and actually improves your life. My partner and I motivate the hell out of each other and don't bicker over stupid shit, which was an issue in every relationship I had before them. You've just gotta find one good one. It's rare that people have a bunch of good relationships, usually you stick with the one that's natural and easy (5 years going strong with my love).
Doesn’t matter how good your partner is, a relationship is work nonetheless. Work requires effort and relationships require effort therefore transitively relationships are work. A good partner just makes the effort feel less burdensome. But it’s still work.
You don’t need to be mind readers. Just need pay attention to if random women checking you out. If highly attractive as person learn eventually what to look for. Yet do understand as today’s society it’s much more risk ask female on street, or grocery store, simply public area. As some people literally out here trying Shame guys for making a move. Lol
@@Raxus001 what’s problem with doing work on relationships? Not everybody lazy at work. Many more motivated to work relationships. If the partner you with motives you it just makes it easier. Reailty is some people just lazy and are with the wrong person.
Then there's me, who freezes up with anxiety when I get approached. Except at comic con tho, that adrenaline of excitement is intoxicating lol. This really is an eye opener from men's perspective.
I'm honestly not even afraid of rejection. I have severe anxiety about inconveniencing people. If I go up to a woman and she sighs (or gives any other sign that I'm bothering her) I will sink into the ground and remember that for the rest of my life! I know how to say hi, I've had many female friends in my life and I have regular conversations with them all the time. The moment I think about trying to "approach" my brain just goes nope.
As a women I have never understood why women can't be more respectful to a guy approaching you. There is a nice way to say no and to leave the man with his dignity in tact. Laughing, roasting him up with your friends, making him feel small and putting him on display is super horrible and unnecessary. I try to be overly kind. I even had a women approach me the other day and I let her know that I was super flattered but I was in a relationship. I didnt want her to feel mocked and rejected even though I am straight. I think being kind will give a guy the confidence to approach the next gal. We are helping each other out women by not leaving a man destroyed after an encounter with us.
This is good behaviour. Thanks for being like that. Majority of men will walk away with admiration about you trust me. How I wish other girls were like that, But alas, majority of girls seem to like toxic behaviour more.
Don’t blame women. Although, we are the perpetrators. However, there are so many men who want to send us back to the kitchen. So many men who have not just other lovers, but other families. And, women are just now getting freedom. This is just the seed that millennia of degenerate men planted. But is not okay
That's how dating used to work, but now women use men as an ego boost. They did a study where women were flirted with by an attractive man, and then afterward a less attractive man came up and asked them out. They compared this to the womens behavior if they were approached by the less attractive man after having been rejected by the handsome man. What they found was that when the woman was rejected by the attractive man, she was more likely to reject the less attractive man. The reasoning behind this was that when she's rejected by the attractive man, it impacts her self esteem negatively and uses her rejection of the less attractive man to boost her ego back up. The fact that many women today cannot decipher the difference between sexual attention and relationship attention is only making this phenomenon worse. They think that the men that want to sleep with them actually care about them and want to have a relationship with them. So you're left with a bunch of average women who think they should be able to get into a relationship with exceptional men, and therefore reject men who are actually appropriate matches for them.
@@jth_printed_designs why can't we realize that it takes so much courage for any man, especially what people might consider a less attractive man to put himself out there to approach a woman? I find it flattering that something about me caught someone else's eye. Femininity is supposed to be soft and beautiful and eye catching. It is a Ying to male yang. What's sad is that because women have stopped doing and being feminine many of us will end up alone rejecting male advances because we have hardened ourselves so much that we can no longer tell the difference between a player and a genuine male looking for something long term and stable. Thanks for the insight!
I really enjoy Michelle's content and listening to her takes on different things, and I really enjoy this channel for the same reason. Seeing the "streams cross" like this has been wild. I was waiting for this response after she had mentioned Aba and Preach a couple times, and I'm really glad that it's been chill. 💖
I have never heard the term "checking out of dating" before. But when I look around in my social circle, that seems to describe exactly what is happening. You'd think that online dating options make dating and finding relationships more accessible, but I notice it has made people throw in the towel instead.
if I may, it helps a lot if you skip online dating altogether and focus on simply making friends. meet new people with shared interests, and eventually you may catch feelings for somebody and vice versa. doing it that way also means you get to skip a lot of the "feeling the other person out" period of dating, because you already know this person. you don't have to worry about investing time, effort, and money into someone who is likely incompatible with you, because you already know who they are and probably have a good idea of that from the get-go
@@zuckdaddy1596 This is the way to go, especially if you can meet new people while doing something you enjoy. I know it's a hard pill for some to swallow, but hobbies that isolate you aren't conducive to finding a romantic partner. If you can meet someone who shares a hobby with you that gets both of you doing something in person, then your chances skyrocket compared to online interactions.
I've done fairly well with women most of my life. I was in an eight year relationship about two years ago until we broke up. Coming out of that relationship back into the single world is a bitch. I gave up on approaching women when I was getting way more attitudes and laughs when I would do little things like say "hi" or "hello". One day I just said "Nope" and no more of that. Fellas get your mind money and body right. Read, exercise, and study the good word.
Same situation, but I still keep going. It's kinda sad to see people who just have no faith in relationships anymore. Our 7 years weren't perfect, but we learned a lot about communicating, partnership and just sharing a life with somone. Going back into the single world made me realize that dating and being in a relationship are 2 very different sets of skills.
Totally true. It's not that guys don't approach girls, it's mostly that "boys that women want" don't approach them. And we can see it on dating apps too : their standards got more restrictive. Honestly, i've reduced quite a bit approaching women year after year down to almost zero (offline). If it's not about being spoke to like shit, you're just ignored, and if everything goes fine, it's mostly just small talk that usually won't get you a phone number in the end. I rather enjoy my time alone or with my friends rather than probably wasting it.
"if it's not being spoke to like shit, you're just ignored and if everything goes fine, it's mostly just small talk." Summed up to a tee. There's literally no incentive to try lol. Waste of time.
I think our current generation also lacks community. We think we have it because of social media but these ppl aren’t with you on the day to day. It helps to surround yourself with ppl in real time to practice socializing with multiple personalities in order to defined who your and what you like. That’ll build up confidence. Our generation needs to get off their phones and go find hobbies, so we can find like minded individuals. That’s how you create a community of love
No our generation lacks FEMALE ACCOUNTABILITY!!! I'm sick of all you pretentious children walking around while skirting every consequence or rule while simultaneously yelling at the top of your voices on every roof _"STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!! STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!! STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!!"_ It's driving us men crazy. It's why we're done. We abandoned everything, schools, workforce, marriage, fatherhood. You're not worth it.
Interestingly even "meet up" groups are starting to put in their descriptions that fraternizing is not allowed. So the possibility of finding an organic romantic connection via shared interest is seemingly actively being stamped out. It's a tough seen. People do want to connect in the most meaningful ways, but we can't seem to get out of each others way, and refuse to truly understand each other, for fear of hurt(and perhaps fear of loss of identity if tied strongly enough to that fear). But forgetting existence is hurt and joy together.
Personally I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place, the apps suck your soul out and make you feel worthless and approaching in person runs you the risk of being called a creep. But just the other day I decided to give approaching in person another go and it went great, she said no but that didn't bother me because it was nice to overcome that fear for once.
Other than college where I had some fun, I've always had the blinders up when it came to women. Never had great examples or good advice when it came to dating so I just treated every interaction with women like it was a professional/workplace environment. Only recently now that I've landed the dream job and had time to work on myself (hitting the gym, losing weight, trying to look put together) that I feel confident in going into the dating world. And fuck is it rough, I think through all the situations that could occur before judging if it's worth approaching to start a conversation like it's a chess game. But you learn from the L's you take, so ima keep pushing because it is what it is. Great video!
Advice, stop treating it like a chess match. You're goal isn't to convince a woman to like you, you're goal is to find a woman already looking for a guy just like you. Too many guys make the mistake of focusing their search around getting "a" woman, like any female will do. From the woman's perspective that makes it seem like he doesn't actually know what he wants and sees women as interchangeable. Figure out what you want, and realize that the sooner a woman rejects you, the better because you don't have to waste your time on someone who wasn't going to work out.
@@Vannabee13 You couldn't be more wrong. The type of men women generally already like is pretty small. Unless you're one of them, you're not going to encounter someone who already likes you. Women are emotional beings who make emotional judgements. While I do agree that he shouldn't treat it like a chess game, the key to securing a women is to draw her attention to you in a positive way. Make a good impression that makes you seem unique and stand out from the crowd. Then you can just be yourself and she'll take note, her emotions will do the rest. That doesn't mean every women is going to like you. You just need to sweep her off her feet to get her interested initially. If it clicks, it'll work out from there. But if you can't start the engine first, she isn't going to look your way even if you do have compatible personalities.
@thenonexistinghero "if you can't start the engine first, she won't look your way even if you do have compatible personalities" No, if you can't start the engine, then you aren't compatible at all full stop. Stop deluding yourself with the "we'd be perfect if you just gave me a chance!" bit. it ain't true dude. It's a fantasy you conjured in your head. If you were compatible, she'd be dating you. That's the truth.
I'll still approach every once in awhile when it's a woman I'm really attracted to, but I definitely don't 'hunt' as actively as I used to. Reason being is that so many women are straight hostile and try to make a mockery out of me for simply talking to them. Like it's cool if you aren't interested, but don't intentionally try to shame me and make me seem like a weirdo for shooting my shot. Like damn at least lie you have a boyfriend and we move on ☠️
Damn, it’s that bad? I was dating in the 90s and that’s what we did. Lie and say we had a boyfriend. We didn’t feel the need to mock or be mean. Plus we didn’t want no problems lol
Every man has different reason for not approaching. I don't approach because like Aba said, I'm one of those guys that feels like it's no longer worth the risk. I started dating in like 1988, 1989. Dated on and off until I gave it up in 2014. I had a long run, a couple of relationships that lasted a year or more, and was engaged twice. And I've been cheated on in 75% of my relationships. It wasn't until I was in my early 30's before I had a relationship that ended for reasons other than cheating. Maybe it's just me and I'm the kinda guy that this happens to, I dunno. But my experience tells me that *if* it turns into a relationship that lasts, I should expect to be cheated on. And I'm at a point now where I have too much in my life (mainly stability, peace of mind and freedom from stress and drama) to risk losing any behind a woman that is probably going to cheat. The results obtained are not worth the cost and effort.
I'm an average male and she doesn't intimidate me. Probably life experiences. I wouldn't marry her because I'm done with that. I'd be friends with her.
There is something else she is missing. If I'm not mistaken, she is in her mid-to-late 30s. That means she grew up before every 8-year-old had a smart phone and a tablet glued to their hand and had to learn how to interact with people, in person. She will find guys in their 30s and 40s who have no problem approaching her and are able to hold a conversation. That is not the case for many guys in their late teens and 20s today (frankly, most girls in that age range cannot hold a conversation in person either). She is an attractive woman from a generation that had to learn social skills growing up. Of course she isn't going to notice a decline. That would be like asking Warren Buffet's kids if they are seeing the impact of inflation. They would not know what inflation felt like if it punched them in the face! When she was in her teens and 20s, if a guy asked her out and got shot down, it was no big deal. He could move on to the next girl he was interested in. Now, the girl that rejected him will record a video, plastering his face all over the Internet, laughing about how he tried and/or labelling him a creep because his approach was not polished. I do not blame guys for avoiding that situation!
@@lilsbourne that still means she was around 16 when facebook was just starting and well into adulthood when Insta came around. She definitely grew up before social media was really a thing. Everyone born before 97/96 essentially "grew" up before social media had the influence it now has on later generations. Unfortunate really.
Nah, men in their 40's don't know how to approach a woman either. The problem is than many many men have an unrealistic idea of what we want and don't understand what it can be interpreted as creepy by our side.
Good point ☝️ hadn't looked at it like that. I feel sorry for the younger generation..I'm sure Japanese men got to this point 20 years ago and started going for robots. I feel it for my sons, these days if a guy gives a young woman a compliment, he gets accused of harassment. Whereas back in the day, as long as d they were respectful, those would make my day :)
I get approached maybe once a year lol but I do see a lot of men smiling at me but won’t come up to me and I don’t blame them. Women are mean. Especially if they don’t find you attractive.
@@bambooforrestswhy would she want to have bigger balls than a man. It’s a turn off to see a bitch made scared man afraid to approach. If she has to approach a man cause he’s more scared then that’s a major turn off.
Thank you for mentioning that at the end…. Men who ACTUALLY have something going on or would be amazing bfs/husbands/fathers are not approaching anymore. Personally I’m not afraid to approach a lady I find attractive but I end up not because of the risks that you mention (and the games/I don’t have the time or energy)bc I actually have something to possibly lose if I “come” off a certain way. Dating now is def an issue for both men & woman. I have really good female friends who would be great gf/wives and they always talk about the issues they have with good men never approaching them. The woman who brag about all these men in their dms/approaching them still are single or don’t have a 💍 on their finger…
Went to a happy-hardcore party at a small venue my friend invited me to. A very laid back crowd. I got the vibe that most of the guys there were kind of nerdy. Not exactly an environment full of super Chads or anything like you'd see at a typical club. I had to throw back 4 shots before I finally got the courage to talk to some women. While I was forcing myself hard to socialize with the opposite sex, I noticed this 6' 3" woman in the middle of the dance floor. I thought she was pretty but never thought she would talk to me with her being 6" taller than me. I went and had 2 more drinks. I noticed NO ONE had approached her for the past hour. Which suprised me, but then I realized that this is a venue full of normal guys like me who've been demoralized by insta thots and tinderellas who won't even give you a passing glance if you're under 6'. I wound up introducing myself after throwing back another shot and we talked and it turns out she was really sweet. We had a good time getting to know eachother that night. But the point I'm trying to make is this: less men are approaching and i saw it that night. Shit is hard out here. I was so certain this chick was going to blow me off that I almost didn't talk to her, and just about every other guy in there probably felt the same way.
If she's going on purely anecdotal personal experience, then I will counter with purely anecdotal personal experience: every guy I know, whether family, friend or work colleague, has given up on women. Each of them has individually come to the conclusion that it's just not worth the time, energy and money only to end up getting cheated on, dumped and/or ghosted in a year or two. As for me, I realized after my last gf suddenly ghosted me, that my life got way better without the additional stress. I became happier and more productive, so I'm probably done too.
Exactly this. Her biggest mistake is conflating anecdotal evidence to be hard core facts and using that as a prop for her argument. Also made her come off as conceited
This is not one-sided, I know a few women who have completely lost the interest on dating or the idea of marriage or being with a man, myself included. Either because they don’t want to be cheated on, considering it a waist of their time or just lost complete the interest on it.
Man, I'm so afraid of losing my job because of accidentally cold approaching the "WRONG PERSON" I've been scarred because something like that happened in my elementary school and I Was labeled the bad kid and i couldn't go out for recess, they did that to me as a 12 year old imagine what they would do to a 18 year old black man.
You got in trouble in elementary school and they wouldn't let you out for RECESS? Thats so horrible and a totally unique situation I'm sure only you experienced.
what did you do at school at 12 years old in regards to dating that they would not allow you to go to recess? I mean I have had detention many times but never for anything related to *dating* actually even when it was against school rules we were too sneaky for that.
Yeah and don't date someone from your workplace. I mean I have, but I was not the one doing the approaching in that case but still very risky and potentially messy.
I always respect how measured your response videos are. Also, I want to respond to the young women asking why no one approaches them when they look nice: when I was in my 20’s, I only EVER got flirted with/asked for my number in public when I was dressed casually. Sweats, joggers, tennis shoes and zip up athletic hoodies at the grocery store. Not once was I ever addressed by men when I would look even slightly dolled up (boot heels and skinny jeans for instance). I assume it’s because men felt that I was safer to approach when I was in comfortable clothing. I also had slightly more attention once I was married, wearing the same casual attire. Just a theory though.
That makes sense....... When I see a girl all dressed up and all, it kinda makes me feel like she goes out only with dudes who can afford $700 dinner dates or drive nice expensive cars. But when I see a girl dressed in casual clothing I see someone I can relate with, and be comfortable while talking to her.
Sweat clothes means you don't got a man or you don't have sex. A sexy outfit means you got a man or you a h03. When you get dolled up it makes it look like you gonna act like you better then any guy that approach you. So they don't bother. When you dressed regular. That makes you look like you won't act like you're better then them.
I agree with you. Even as a woman, I feel more comfortable approaching someone who dresses more casual than put together. If I am lost somewhere, I will approach the casual person because it feels like they will be more open to have a conversation and help me.
I was a late bloomer. I'm finally at a point socially where I think I could muster up courage to approach women ,but its at the wrong time because now on top of the normal anxiety you have to be worried about getting put on blast all over social media for 'being a creep'. Just doesn't seem worth the risk, I have enough self confidence issues as is lol
The irony of this video is that the same women complaining about being approached are the SAME ones who are deathly afraid of talking to a really attractive guy. Ladies please just shoot your shot, rejection is a part of life, it is not that scary. -Sincerely a girl who slid into his DMs and happily married with child 9 years later
imma be real, i have comfortably approached girls in clubs or in different countries but in most cases i could prolly put that courage up to alcohol. when being out in public, even when i'd see a girl giving me 'obvious signals' that she's into me i'd still not go. even though i don't get mad anxious but i just tend to talk myself out of it; i'm definitely working on myself and on boosting my confidence
I feel the same way when I smoke weed. If I'm smacked, I can be the life of the party. Even when I'm sober, I have a decent level of charisma, but I'm a bit shy and awkward at first, so I struggle to naturally starting conversations and get past small talk. Once there's a rapport, it's pretty easy. But even in that circumstance, letting my intentions be known (getting a number) for a girl I find attractive has always been nerve-racking. I haven't had much success
Same here, the older you get the riskier hit you take to you’re own mental health. Women don’t understand that not all of us are creeps, we go by the olden day tradition but apparently even that is creepy. So why bother
I have the confidence, I even sometimes have the energy but the main thing I don’t have is the time. As men there’s nothing and no one that’s going to help us when we are older and because of that I’d rather spend my time building a future for me than wasting any of it trying to find the right woman. My perfect person died when I was 14, that was in 2007, I’m 29 about to be 30, I no longer act in grief over her death so when it comes to dating I’m no longer interested in investing in it. She’s not here and neither is my interest in dating anymore. Men are walking away because it’s no longer anything to gain vs the amount of effort put in, causal sex gets boring after the 63rd time you’ve been with a stranger. You don’t care anymore after a certain point.
Forgot about the time. Don't call after 2 days. Call after 3 days. Results vary. Don't call after getting the number. Text after getting the number. You a creep if you call her, after getting the number. Don't be to confident. But don't be spineless. Have big D energy, whatever that fooking means. Treat her nice. But don't be too nice. The list is endless. Yet Tyrone and Chad get to run through them digging them guts viciously. While you have to crack the code. No thanks. I'll pay for the full girlfriend experience, when the need arises. And get back to my peace and quiet.
Exactly how I felt, when I was in highschool all I cared about was girls and early college days same thing, girls. Im 24 now and dating just doesn't feel worth the amount of effort an time put into it. Sex is not worth all that, finding a life partner sure i'd like that but thats much harder to find since lots of people my age (not even just women) don't care that much for it yet. Which I get, your young and trying to build. I've been building a future myself and it feels more worth my time and effort. I just feel maybe im not mature enough to date mentally yet.
Live your life, dude, how you want to live it. No shame in being single. No shame in not having casual sex, no shame in just doing you. Too many guys obsess over wanting female attention that they base their entire self worth on it. Most of them aren't even mentally and emotionally healthy enough for a relationship anyway. Most of them dont even know why they want a relationship in the first place, they just think it's something their supposed to have that will somehow magically make all their other issues go away. That ain't how it works. Relationships are work. They don't fix anything. they're the thing that constantly needs maintenance.
I'm just remembering this one timebut I was brand-new in school and because I decided to be assertive I approached a group of kids and introduced myself and they all got up and walked away. and I still remember that and I still don't approach a group of people readily anymore. I can't imagine what it must be like for guys when that's just like a regular Tuesday
All the women I have dated are people I knew through friends. I think the chance of hooking up with a psycho when you cold approach is 50/50, which is way too high for my likings. Go out with your buddies, get them to bring friends you don't know and bring your friends they don't know. That's the key. When you're with other people, it's easier to avoid rejection, filter psychos and actually chill rather than be constantly anxious.
@@MunkeyyCANA Oh man that's a different kettle of fish. I'd be trying to make my new place home before trying to form a new relationship. From there, most people make their friends group at work. Other ways is any other social hobby like dance, sports, clubs.
I've watched both channels for a long time and they actually have very similar views on most things. If they talked, they'd actually get along very well
I know that younger men are giving up on women because I have a brother and I hear what he talks with his friends He always said this girl is calling me but I don’t want to waist my time and get a headache so many men are playing online and not answering their phones also they’re busy with their side hustle that they know that having a woman around is an inconvenience. When I ask my brother if someone day he is going to married and have kids he said no because not many women are faithful and want to be accountable and responsible for their actions. Most of my brother’s friends think like that They want someone who they can relay on if times get tuff but they don’t see that on most women.
This one hits home. I remember being 23 , really good shape, had my shit together and yet it wasn't enough for even the most average of girls. I worked out twice a day, eyebrows plucked, learned how to dress, always smelled nice. I would be feeling myself , go out to the bar and feel like a troll. I've had some one night stands here and there ,but it was never worth the effort. Your average man just simply isn't wanted, not even above average. You have to be some extreme outlier to have a decent consistent dating life at least in America. And it completely destroys your self esteem and perception of yourself. I don't blame men at all, all you can do is try at the end of the day.
I think it’s also the “nightlife” environment where we women are dressed up and looking our best so we might be open to a one night stand if he is way above average looking, but tbh most women don’t want one night stands, so we’re not as open to guys when we are out. I think most average men really need to avoid dating apps or bars and focus on community group activities like weekend sports or hiking meetups, volunteer groups, any other hobby groups, etc. When a woman gets to see you in context where your shared interests and values are on display, she has more to go off of then just your looks and she will be way more interested in an average looking guy because she can see what he brings to the table.
@@ProdavackaDivu That is the problem with today's culture though. You see as a man I will rather approach the seemingly nice girl at my work and not some loose looking woman at a club. But in today's society it is too much of a risk because I risk my job with tons of false accusations, HR departments etc etc. Not to mention the awkwardness that will be developed if she rejects you badly etc. You don't risk your life as much by approaching a woman at the bar as much as you lose by trying to flert with a coworker or a client or anything like that although that is rarely a life partner meeting but mostly a sexual one. Honestly, men need arranged marriages back. Because the average man is invisible to most women until they get desperate and a man can't go around risking his income, life and reputation everywhere in the hopes of getting a woman.
Here I am dating a guy working 30 hours a month on minimum wage, doesn’t pay utility bills, no car, no savings. I bought and cooked him Wagyu steak and gave him a 40 minute gua sha massage. All I have ever wanted is the bare minimum in return and I get yelled at and made to feel entitled because I don’t appreciate having to ask a guy that’s younger than me permission to vacuum my own apartment because it might get in the way of shit he plans to do 5 hours from now
@@SobrietyandSolace I don’t recommend being with him. I recommend listening to God. ✝️ And casting all your cares into Jesus because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7. And God loves you, nothing in all creation can separate you from His live. Romans 8:38-39. ✝️ You are not alone.
@One Of Zero This guy really said arrange mariage needs to be brought back?!?? WTF. Find a hobby outside the workplace and clubs! That's what to person comments was referring to.
I met my wife at the gym, but only ever started speaking to her because I saw her talk to a receptionist I was also friends with. If I had to walk up to her point blank and talk to her, it likely never would have happened. What is funny is I only have the confidence to do anything difficult like that (not talking to women obviously) now, BECAUSE I know even if I look stupid, she will love me.
"We're having a thing where we don't understand others experiences and then get mad at the caricature of what we perceive of them instead of the reality." Couldn't agree more and this is much of society's problems.
Pretty much what I have been doing as a 22 year old young man this shit is impossible getting dumped for trying to get my life right but still not having it all really puts a damper on dating I decided to focus on me build myself into the man that I envisioned and I will get to pick. BACK THEN THEY DIDNT WANT ME NOW IM HOT THEY ALL ON ME !! 💪🏿
At this point, I'm checked out of the game. I just don't want to pretend, or put on this confident façade and be something I'm not anymore. I empathize with what women go through, and I don't want to bother them either. I just don't know what the solution is and its become too draining to try and figure it out. It feels like the bars too high for men these day, not just physically, or financially, but with how men are expected to feel and be, it doesn't feel like there's room to be an individual as a man anymore.
Solution is simple, women must approach men they find attractive, since society and law is constructed around women being the ones who decides consent, it's too socially risky for men right now. Maybe things will change in the future and we'll flip back to the old ways.
I met my girlfriend in a group setting that led to a period of talking before we got together. All but one of my ex's I met in a similar way but have had results both walking up to women and on dating apps. Walking up to them always took a certain amount of confidence but never pushed my luck or acted creepy. Appreciated the W when it was a W or took the L and kept it pushing.
The shy respectable guys that don't want to hit on a woman, are almost always the ones that we WANT to hit on us. The obnoxious loud brass ones are the ones that we cannot stand and they're the only ones that step up and ask us out. I hate it so much
how about be an adult and use your words. step up. but i'm guessing you just want to cherry pick aspects of equality that are comfortable and beneficial only.
I tapped in 2020. Was with a woman for most of my adult life (currently 38) and she cheated on me in 2018 cuz she was bored and insecure. Spent a year finding myself before allowing myself to be with someone else and I met the most amazing woman in 2019. She was someone I couldn't think would exist. But she had hang ups about her ex and would accuse me of trying to get back with mine. In the end, we broke up and she went back to her ex the next day. Had a female friend I knew for five years and we got really close after this break-up. My kid loved her and so did I. But she started shit talking people behind their backs and it was so stomach churning to see she was this person. I spent months passively telling her it wasn't alright and then she just shit talked people behind my back instead. I created an exit for myself and instead of letting me just leave, she gaslit me and told me I was a shitty father. I'm not. Being a great father is the only thing I am if I'm nothing else. I tapped in 2020. I can still get women. I get unsolicited nudes, women trying to cheat on their men with me, and women trying to hook up so I take care of them and their kid(s). So I'm not an incel because I get sex. I just won't do relationships and I certainly won't initiate anything. I don't even bring women around my place cuz I don't want my kid to see another woman come in and out of my life.
For me, sex is actually much easier than meaningful relationships, I mean to get, some women may say oh you have to give everything to any women who will sleep with you or give you the time of day, but many of my female friends and family have always warned me not to underestimate women's capacity to be *bitches*.
The sad part is, you are the exception rather than the rule, as most guys get nothing for the vast majority of their lives. And in your case, you discovered the juice wasn't worth the squeeze even when it was available to you. American western women are fallen.
@@ctguitarguy8510 you have overgeneralized the male population, most guys don’t get nothing.. it is the rare for a man to still be a virgin.. most men use women for sex. Stop thinking one reality is the whole reality
@@DanniBby I don't. Their goal is to hook up to bring me into their life. Most recently, it was a coworker who was pregnant and already had three kids. She was hoping I'd be a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs, and a solution to her problems. I'm not. Nothing happened between us because it's transparent what the price is. She wasn't the only one. Girl with five kids from four baby daddies tried to get me to have unprotected sex to lock me down. Squashed it before anything happened. Currently a woman hit me up after 16 years. She has three grown kids but she's single with a six year old. All she talks about is hooking up and how lonely she is, and how hard being a single parent is. So when she pulls the trigger on it, she'll find I've got my shields up.
I've never approached a girl in my life. Everytime I get to a state where I consider building up the courage to do it, I'll catch a tiktok or UA-cam vid of girls complaining about "creepy" behaviour which just puts me off everytime. Only time I've approached a girl is to see how many sets she's got on gym equipment I'm tryna use
@jwoods9659 Easy to say if you're decent looking and able to not look/act strange while talking to someone you find attractive. I agree that if you talk to a girl confidently and with no expectations, then you'll likely have a good conversation at the very least, but most guys aren't capable of that
I'm going on 8 years of not being in a relationship. I've only ever been in one relationship. This was when I was 18 and now I'm 26. I don't approach women for multiple reasons some of it's anxiety and some of it is because of watching other people in my life going through problems with the woman they are with to the point and just kind of makes me go I don't really wanna be with no one. And I also don't approach a lot of women because most women that I have met they I'm even remotely interested even with my same age range are not as mentally as mature as I would want them to be and I don't want to be with anyone who is mentally 10 years younger than me like they are in highschool and I don't need people in my life who also try to control me because of what has happened to myself and people around me. I'm glad I'm single right. Got a house in my name. A car in my name. Just get money more down pact and get in shape. And at this point I would much rather have a woman approach me because at that point I know what you want or what you might want trying to get with me.
I love Michelle's videos, especially from her other channel "My Thoughts Will Probably Offend You" so this was a weirdly unexpected crossover since I like both of you guys haha. She (along with other fitness influencers who have successfully lost weight) have helped me lose 40 pounds. Plus she does cosplay and loves cartoons so it's entertaining. She also reacted to your video about that woman who was filming guys look at her in the gym. Her "after dark" channel is more social commentary unrelated to weight loss. While I agree with most of her takes, yea this one I didn't agree with. It did sound a bit like "I don't notice it, so it must not be true"
Same here, I was subbed for a few years and only a year ago I subbed for unrelated reasons to this video. It’s weird because she’s usually empathetic towards sane people with valid points. This one was off for her.
@@twintyroI guess as a woman I agree, the men I attract haven’t been on the decline, the guys who have holed away are personally dudes I am not into so I guess I don’t notice that
I grew up with a lot of low self-esteem and social anxiety, it was hard for me to make friends. In my mid 20s now, I've had many people tell me how this girl and that girl was checking me out and thought I was cute and I started seeing it for myself and slowly realized that I'm an attractive guy apparently. That being said, although I don't have the low self esteem or social anxiety anymore, I still am low key terrified of approaching women, even when I know they're into me because of some past experiences where I completely flopped in my few attempts.
Damn bro this is me to the tee lol I had ppl tell me a girl was feeling me and never new what to do with that or was to afraid to approach I remember having a huge crush on this girl back in highschool and later finding out that she did too but never new how to approach here or how to progress from that so I basically just let it go and keep on having a crush on her until I graduated BIGGEST REGRET LOOKING BACK ON IT KNOW but I’m doing alittle better compared to before
@@Dash-cm4ol Learn how to say hi to atleast 5-10 women a day, with no motive. If they don't say anything back continue on with your day, if they try to stand around to have a conversation after tell her you want to meet her
@@Dash-cm4olI feel like it starts with just asking random questions like "whats the time" or "how do I get to xyz" and doing it a few times every day gives u a lot of confidence believe it or not, at least for me. Because it feels like I overcame a hurdle for that day, then it gets far easier to spark conversations
This was definitely a real constructive response. I just had a conversation with two women about these kinda things and they genuinely don’t realize the differences in our dating experiences.
I remember I told a woman on a date once that I almost never ask women out if it isn't over an app and she was visibly disappointed and immediately lost interest in me. I bet if I could have beamed some of my failed approach experiences into her head and made her understand what that felt like she wouldn't have reacted like that. Often women will go their whole lives without knowing how brutal and humiliating being rejected by someone can be, and have no concept of how hard it is to walk up to someone you don't know and come up with a reason to talk to them without making it feel weird. I'm a pretty good looking guy too, I can only imagine what that would be like for ugly people. Why put yourself through that when you can just install an app?
Who are you getting rejection from??? A absolute hottie that's above your level innit? Did you ever approach someone who is average and does not meet the beauty standards???? So get out of here please. Conventionally unattractive women get made fun of, rejected and it's very damaging to self esteem. So maybe if you approach someone on a low level, you won't get rejected.
Dude, to keep it short and simple, they are likely not going to understand, not in the way you want to, and that's fine. Also that's not the kind of thing you want to tell a woman on the first couple of dates, no matter how honest you're trying to be. People want to keep the illusion of the magic of dating in those early times, let them have it
Honestly, the cold approach is a terrible strategy but dating apps aren't a much better option (statistically men out number women on dating apps 2 to 1, and the dating app profits on you nor getting matches and continuing to swipe as long as possible). Best option is to find social activities that allow you to interact with people casually and build up a familar rapport with women where conversations start naturally so when you express intrest in them it's less out of the blue and they know a bit about you. Fact is, when you cold approach a woman you never talked to before in a place like the gym or the grocery store, regardless of what you look like, the chances that she's in the mood to chat with a complete stranger at that exact moment is really low.
"I bet if I could have beamed some of my failed approach experiences into her head and made her understand what that felt like" Yeah, that would dry her up even more. Do you think she has low interest in you now? Beam that shit into her head and you will feel like a leper
I dated a guy that told me he never approached women to date outside dating apps. It didnt bother me. We went on several dates and started seeing eachother seriously. Then he suddenly dumped me in a text message cause he decided he didnt like me anymore after a week of avoiding me. Smh.. thats why she was disappointed. Its a red flag that you don't communicate very well. So next time you shouldn't tell your date things like that if you want them to stay around. Cause I know for myself from this point on, if a guy were to ever say that again, I would lose interest as well. We dated for 2 months and then all I got was a "its not you its me" type of text message and I never heard from him again. I could understand someone ghosting me cause I was a shitty person. But as far as I knew everything was fine until it wasnt.
To add to your commentary about about the environment being aggressive. Alot of times when a club is crowded, where people are pushed up against each other, I have been literally molested. I've had random hands grab my chest and try to put hands down my shirt, people grabbing between my legs, trying to put their hands down my pants, a friend of mine even had somebody stick their finger inside of her when she wore a dress. The scary part is these people will be reaching past three or four bodies to get to the girl they're targeting, so it's really hard to identify who it was. After watching that happen to other women, I have seen the men doing it approach the same girls they violated. So a lot of times if I have been grabbed like that during the night it ruins the chances of anybody approaching because from what I have seen, they may very well be the deviant one. If a woman has any sort of SA trauma and they get groped,she's going to be hostile for the rest of the night.
As a guy even I don’t like bars/clubs, just to many dude bros and frat boy types and the entitled and sometimes rude women just really isn’t my scene, so I go to speak easys or like a brewery, just much better people in general and you can still get drunk
Men are doing this new thing where they tell you, "hey, you look beautiful and I hope you enjoy your day" and then they kind of run away. I have male friends that had to explain what the hell that was. I call it the run away compliment.
I am a classically handsome man who gets approached by women regularly.. . approaching women is quite possibly the most nerve wracking thing I've ever experienced in my life and I've been seconds from death a number of times. Women will never(at least any time soon at all) truly understand the risk and nervousness approaching a woman entails and its much much more than just rejection
One thing both sexes have to get is this; neither will ever come to fully understand or empathise with the anxieties that come with otherwise banal activities for both sexes. This is why more often than not I believe that aside from licensed psychologists and therapists, each sex has to stop making sweeping statements about the behaviours of the other sex because they'll often get it wrong simply based on perspective
Getting tased was the absolute most painful thing I've ever gone through in my life. I was barely nervous for it. Approaching women out of the blue to talk to them is quite literally dozens of times more nerve wracking for me, even though I've never once had a truly negative experience doing it. The guys who do that effortlessly are either hyper confident (probably hyper arrogant), or psychopaths who literally lack the ability to feel fear. One time years ago, I got so nervous just telling a girl at Walmart that she was cute, that I ended up pulling some sort of abdominal/gut muscle. And that's coming from someone who's generally regarded as very good looking
Fear of rejection is a real thing for men, especially when u see a dude better looking than u get rejected, so u stop taking chances, which is why most girls who've been in my life were the ones to approach me first lol.
Real talk: I’m white, ginger, and 5”6, the only times I’ve approached women prior to meeting my partner, was either: A) I was doing it as a joke - knowing full well what response I would get, so me and the guys could have a laugh about it. Or B) I already knew them. This woman Michelle and others like her are drinking from tainted rivers or something fr
They are lying. The best data on race and attraction is the 2014 data from all online dating platforms at the time. This data is the best because it two things one it was released before people were loosing their minds over dating and culture war bullshit and two it was released before the bots took over those apps. So it's the best data we ever gonna get on those apps and it's true. Black women and Asian men as far as attraction goes they are at the bottom of the list. And alot of black women know this. They can test it themselves . Make a profile of a good looking black woman then make a profile of a average or below average white women or Latina or Asian and see for yourself who gets more matches and interactions. You'll see it play out real time. You can't self esteem yourself out of reality
listen as a short man myself ill tell you : have more confidence , if you look confident and look unbothered by short comments , they will start to not even care that much
@@danielisaac7586 what does this have to do with anything? Also, a "study" from one dating app, back in 2014, is representative of the dating market whether it be in person or across an array of dating apps in 2023? Yeah, I'm gonna guess not.
My analogy for the past 12+ years: Imagine someone dying in a desert having a conversation with someone drowning in a lake. Neither one can possibly understand why the other person is suffering or what theyre going through.
I actually got approached at the gym the other day a guy kinda my age asked for my name called me attractive and asked for my number. I was flattered and appreciative and honestly it was kind of him. We held a conversation and i asked his age. Unfortunately he was 4 years younger and i had to turn him away since i felt 18 was too young, but i made sure to thank him and tell him i was flattered and finally apologized before saying bye. I was impressed he put himself out there because i had been watching videos about these topics where guys feel afraid to approach girls. I don’t have much advice to give but there are girls out there who recognize your effort.
I assure you such a behaviour as yours is seen as .... how to say it .... mature,polite, respectable or honourable. Men always come off with respect/admiration for you even after rejection, if you behave that way. Thanks for not being rude.
@@SemiDoge it’s weird and predatory to be 22 romantically involved with an 18 year old. Basically someone who’s graduating college with a high schooler…
I have a BIG source of confidence to talk to women but my problem is the amount of women ai dated that were outright narcissistic, crazy or selfish. Every single girl I dated or have fooled around with have a very, VERY distorted sense of morality or lack of empathy. I actually HATE dating because of how much time I lose when dealing with someone that literally sucks.
@MikeProductions1000 The hot/crazy matrix is real. In my dating experience, all the hot or in shape ones were crazy and narcissistic, while the barely attractive enough to date ones were truly good people. Rolling single because I haven't been able to find a good woman that was attractive enough to wake up to long term that also treated me well and appreciated what I did for her. Maybe that sounds bad, but after all I've been through to become moderately successful, I need to be able to wake up, look over at her and not feel depressed.
@MikeProductions1000 Like Django said, it's just that a lot of attractive women ARE crazy or mentally screwed. I disagree on the not so attractive women though because the fat ones are way, WAY worse.
Yeah, I mostly don't bother with women not because am too shy but because is too much of a hassle. They consume your life and need attention all the time. It feels that you become a glorified babysitter that instead of getting payed, it pays for everything just so you can get a little bodily affection and tenderness.
@@doublestarships646 The fat ones become like that because they are unhappy with themselves (who feels nice when it can't even climb a set of stairs) and they feel that they are undesirable and they lash out their frustrations any way they can. A man would rather go with an ugly woman that has a half decent body than with a fat chick. They feel this, they feel how bad their situation is and they are frustrated as hell.
I have a wife but man the amount of times I got turned down. Whew i got tired and took break a few days or weeks because my mental health couldn’t take all these rejections.
@@Brandon-tz5pn trust me. It’s a numbers game. I have been rejected a lot in my life because I did like to get laid as much as I can. Lol. But sometimes my ego will go down in the tubes because of the rejection.
Ive approached women a handful of times. And everytime the have said no to me. Either end up ghosting me or rejecting me extremely harshly. I'm honestly not motivated to find someone women can be so cruel sometimes man. Like I understand if u just say no but they have to go overboard with like damn I heard u the first time.
@@lazysnorlax3015 trust me. I got ghosted before but you know what fuck them and move on to the next. As men we need to be strong and not let these rejections keep us down. Maybe it is a you problem and u need to work on that. But we can’t let life keep us down. We gotta work to resolve it.
For me it's not feeling shame or embarassment because I know I'm not being rejected because I suck I'm being rejected because women are picky. It's the opportunity cost that makes it discouraging. Approaching (in person or online either way) is like going onto a fishing boat to catch fish. If you catch fish quickly hell you will get on the boat every day and have a feast. But if you get on that boat about 3 sessions in a row without even a bite on the line you start to miss what you did not do because you were on that boat. This is particularly true for cold approaching or social circle game where its not time efficient like online dating.
I see this as a good thing. Men should be more picky about who they approach, and should really do so more in social settings. Like a party, bbq, happy hour, kickball etc. Both people should find each other attractive and engage. "Chasing" women is not the way to go.
Hold on a minute. Their yt channel pfp is backwards. Preach is on the left and Aba is on the right. Y'all gotta fix this!!!!!!
Sorry king. We’ll fix it asap - Praba
whered they get that handsome ass nigga from nowhere like that
@@AbaNPreach takes a king to know one🤙
Pin of acknowledgement
@@AbaNPreachCreate a channel where every video is flipped and played in reverse 4head
I'm probably just a little older than Michelle, and it's taken me THIS long to realize that guys are generally terrified of putting themselves out there to be rejected by women. When I was younger, I often got approached by the degenerates who hang out on street corners. But the guys who I actually liked never made it known that they liked me, and I had always been told that as a woman you shouldn't "chase" men, so it went nowhere. I decided to take a chance once though, with a "friend", and it turns out that he liked me a whole lot too! He was just afraid I wasn't into him like that. We've been married 11 years now. Everyone is afraid to be rejected, but no risk, no reward. The men have more to lose these days though, so I can understand why they'd be more hesitant to approach. Not ALL, but most of the guys who boldly approach women, majority of the time, are boldly chatting up other girls as well. Or just don't care if they're making you uncomfortable.
That last point is true. It gives me a new perspective to actually value the guys who don’t approach me more and try to approach them instead haha
Well you can't just pick and choose confidence🤷🏿♂️. What makes you think that If he is boldly approaching you then he is not boldy approaching other women. Especially if his game is pretty polished, you think we ain't approaching other women, okay?
Chasing men and asking a man on a date are two different things 🙄. People who follow these rules instead of just being nice and putting yourself out there are sad.
@@kendrickf-d669580% of men are.
@Ella I agree 💯. Everything you said is what I remember and my perspective growing up.
I'm glad you guys responded to her video. What's funny is that in her previous video she told of the time she was approached in the gym by a guy who tried flirting with her in the most cliché way while she was busy working out. When she turned him down, he went away and a few moments later she saw him pulling the exact same moves on other women at the gym. It pretty much illustrates what Aba said, the guys who still approach girls now are mostly the ones who just don't give a f*ck.
it's just "one exemple" come one. The internet sphere is tiny, compare to reality
Bruh.
exactly 😂
dudes that are like this I think have low empathy and more sociopathic or narcissistic tendencies, but of course women like the confidence
@@bleepbloop7039 No....they just harden themselves so the rejection doesn't effect them, and they move on.
Her saying she doesn't notice men aren't approaching woman is like a rich person saying they didn't know recessions were happening.
Why wouldn't a rich person know recessions were happening 😂
The oblivious side of female nature is STAGGERING. These wmen have created a culture of harams. And are surprised when most men are out cold turkey. On the other hand. If you are financially stable. Just pay for the segs. Works for me. I know it isn't for everybody. But money is a women's kryptonite. They'll do ANYTHING, and brevs I mean A N Y T H I N G for money.
Yep
@@tiffanykim2773 because they might be the cause and are still making money from it
I understand what you’re trying to say, but this is an awful analogy lol
One thing I have noticed if I’m all dressed up and have my makeup done I don’t get hit on very much. But if I’m in sweat pants and no makeup I get hit on so much more. It took me a long time before I finally figured out I just looked less intimidating that way and like I would be less likely to reject them. It’s terrible because if I’m looking like a mess I usually don’t want to talk to anyone but when I dressed up I really don’t mind the extra attention because I’m feeling confident. It’s all so damn backwards.
Wrong , NO MEN ARE INTIMIDATED BY WOMEN . They hit on u because you're not hiding behind makeup
I've observed the same
@Val Wow. Thanks for the insight.
@Val-cb6hm D) they believe it doesn't take much effort to impress, date, or sleep with you.
also girls are hotter in sweatpants etc. sometimes...doesn't make you feel like youre chasing someone who is fake but someone who actually has real values
There’s a reason why dating apps are so commonly used and for many men its their only form of “approaching” women. Nowadays, social skills have declined overall, confidence to approach isn’t common, and fear of rejection/ being labeled as a creep is at a all time high
Before you could only be labelled a creep by them/their friend group. Now it’s the whole world.
Yeah idk about that. I've approached guys before when I was dating and I'd be rejected most of the time. Dating apps are just a guarantee that there's some attraction but not a guarantee towards relationship.
The sad part is, dating apps are horrible for men. Especially because most women aren’t on them. The ratio is 5:1… men are better off trying figuring out their social anxiety then hiding behind their phone on dating apps.
@@nathalieli7617 you got rejected because you approached only the top 10% of men. Others would have said yes.
I agree.
I was in a relationship for 9 years, married for 4 of those years, and when that ended, I tried putting myself back out there, going to the gym, trying to have friendly conversations with women but not if they were clearly uninterested, and not asking them out, just making conversation to build my social skills back up. It was going well and I was feeling better, but then I made the mistake of going on dating apps.
Men, if you want to kill your self-esteem, go on dating apps after a breakup. It works wonders. I've never felt such a lack of confidence before!
The upside is it helped me realize that I don't want a relationship just to say I'm in one. I only want to bother if it's clear that the woman is into me from the start. I won't approach any more. I know that likely means I'll be single for the rest of my life, but after a 9 year relationship with a selfish, shallow narcissist, being single isn't that bad of a thing.
I wouldn’t give up if I was you. Dating apps are the worst thing I won’t lie. But approaching as well as social circles work wonders. Especially if you got some type of status, good personality or good looking. If not just get your money up and join the passport bros. Go to a different country (especially if you white somewhere like india is a good place) and you’ll meet a solid girl who’s traditional af. Might go sideways (after all it’s always a dice roll) but you can always roll again at the end of the day. Don’t give up man, that’s all I say. I think life becomes meaningless and empty when you do and as corny as it sounds there is someone that wants you out there, you just gotta find it!
"Men, if you want to kill your self-esteem, go on dating apps after a breakup. It works wonders. I've never felt such a lack of confidence before!"
For real though, cracked me up. I'm right there with you, though I was only married for a couple of years. Hope someone endearing shows up in your life.
@@AS-ie6id the man said he was done, shut the hell up😂
imo you should just find a social life and from there you should only ask women out who you can trust not to mock you on tiktok because she cares about you 1% and doesn’t just see you as some old guy.
maybe I'm just an ignorant youth since I'm like 20 but, if you was my friend id tell u to stop being a puss. 8 point something billion people are on this planet, we have planes and more than half of that are women. figure it out and stop being puss. go get a testosterone bump from the gym and ride that shit out until you find someone. I'm definitely not attractive but my ego is so inflated it makes them think i am. Arrogance is definitely my shield. All I've got to my name is some juvenile humour and a bench pr of 135kg. If i found somebody anyone can. I still bang out a set of push ups for a pump before i take out my girl for confidence. everyone is insecure in some ways. For me its my height I'm like 5'9, i feel like god was just tryna humble me but it just backfired and made me more cocky. Don't get demoralised be a man and firm it. Pain is only temporary. Mind over matter.
As a man I stopped approaching simply because I'm tired of dead ends. Getting a number or a snapchat isn't the issue, it's actually setting up the dates or scheduling a meet up is when all of a sudden the girls stop responding or starts responding slow asf. I've realized that my most successful times with women is when she was interested in me first, texted me first, wanted to mee up first etc. Overall I think women putting in more effort when it comes to pursuing men would be a win-win, guys are easy so it's not nearly as much of a hurdle.
At least you got a schedule response. Most men get left on read, so even flaking is a problem they wished they had.
Dude all my GFS have been the ones who did the approaching. All the girls that I approached have never worked out.
This is why I give out my number. I can't get ignored if i'm not sending the first message. I can't lie it's only worked a few times but I'm not tryna get numbers for zero correspondence anymore
A little tip for you, exchange numbers and don’t text her for a week
That's right. Always look for feedback. No feedback equals no interest.
Honestly I get this. I'm a straight woman but even I get major anxiety approaching other women in a completely friendly way, especially if they are in large groups. I know not all women are catty, rude and snarky because I've known many women who are not. But the anxiety still lingers from the bad catty encounters I've had with other ladies. When they're bad they can be really bad.
My mom told me since I was a teen(I'm 22 now) to be very wary of women cuz of her experiences with them. She doesn't have any friends anymore, I realize its her unfortunate experience and anecdotal but I won't lie between this and all of the stuff I've been seeing on youtube for the past 3 yrs I definitely feel more suspicious towards them.
I get very anxious when guys approach me because I have a lot of experience with them following me And acting inappropriately to me from young ages
@Okii5678 ngl I've never once in my life heard a guy say "ew" but I'm sorry if they're making fun of you
I feel the same! I'm a straight woman too but I believe its because I went to an all girl school and it was a terrible time for me, that I feel anxious talking to other women. Especially women who are pretty and seem to have their stuff together. But there are other women whom I do approach and chat to and I don't feel as overwhelmed or self-conscious interacting with them. So, I'm not saying I understand the male experience fully, but I can sympathise.
@@markusmath3421 lmao no wonder she has no friends. I've noticed that most, if not all of the girls I've encountered that say they don't wanna be friends with women (more accurately that they CANT make any friends with women) are the ones who have bad perceptions of women. Like ofc if you think women are snakey and vile then you're not gonna get along with many women.
I’ll take it one step further: The reason she hasn’t noticed a decrease in the men who approached her is the fact that the type of man that opt out of approaching women like her are the kind of men she don’t notice, or that are invisible to her to begin with.
Bingo
Spot on
Haha cold world
Nerds and fuglies, basically
Yup
She really just said that men are telling her these things and how they feel, and her response is " nah, you lying."
I also wanna add: as a woman that also gets 'approached ' alot, as in men will walk by me and tell me they think I'm beautiful, hold doors open for me, etc, etc,. that's not the same as a man approaching me to try to have some sort of relationship with me. There's no rejection in simply complementing a girl, hearing"thank you" and then keeping it moving. These men that "approach" her are probably not taking the next step to have contact with her again, but she thinks that it's all one and the same.
That’s what I thought as well. She thinks someone saying good morning to her means interest.
That is actually a good point!
This makes sense. The men who date her,do they actually want to be with her? Probably not.
Very good point 💯
Yeah, especially when I was younger I got a lot of compliments on my appearance, but I have literally had maybe 2 men in my entire life ask me out on a date.
Ohhh shit.. y’all have found Michelle. The game of content pong is about to be INTERESTING
I know, right!?
I like her content. Her response was too uppity and lacked empathy.
Michelle is the truth 💪🏽👏🏽
Ikr, lol.
@@EMG725 Same and I agree with you. She is NEVER the one to miss the mark but damn did she with that one. It goes to show you that even your favorite creators aren’t socially aware outside themselves.
The one time I approached a group of women at a bar, I had a cool conversation with their guy friends (they were all coworkers at an insurance company), one of whom was kind enough to buy me a round, and immediately after one of the women who I was NOT interested in, began berating me in front of everyone over how poor I was, and that I didn't pay my own bills, because I didn't answer quickly enough what car insurance I had. I'm pretty sure I made double or triple what they did, but I was too gentlemanly to say anything for fear of making her much nicer friends feel bad. Long story short, the stereotype of the gross trashy woman gatekeeping access to her cuter, sweeter friends is true.
The fridge always protects the snacks fr
@@dripkidd8572 Yo... I'm totally stealing that!
Some of you write the cheesiest, most cringe rage bait comments ever. That never happened. Any schizophrenic now has access to this internet and can come up with these stories and yall are so gullible to eat it up 💀
Guys I think we found the gatekeeping woman💀
@@ejhdbegbeidishdj9358you never spoken to the attractive girl in a group and her other friends get in the way? It happens quite a lot
Woman telling men how they actually feel and think exemplifies why men gave up 💀
Men gotta work their asses off to meet rising standards. It's actually sad, because people who are average *at best* are thinking they deserve models.
Well, well, well, how the turntables
@@strawberrysmoothi921 You don't even know what you feel 😄
I can't believe she's trying to "womansplain" our own feelings to us. The audacity. 😤
yeah nah :/ just check her channel dude, she's base
I was raised to be so mortified of being considered a creep that I never actually hit on anybody.
Just ain't worth the possibility of a false accusation.
That’s dumb asf. So you’re afraid of what people are gonna say ?
i think this is the truth of the situation today with young guys
@@vince11harris No, I'm afraid people will actually believe fake accusations and it could bring a lot of downsides. Don't tell me it's not an issue to be considered a creep by everyone around you.
@@vince11harris if people already label you a creep, you're much more vulnerable to all sorts of allegations
I'm very introverted and struggle with confidence issues. I have never approached a woman that I did not know at all. My best friend is a woman, but we met playing a sport and she approached me. She has helped me a ton to overcome my confidence issues and improve my social interaction skills. I am very grateful for her help. I know most of the people that I'm friends with because she's an extrovert and makes it easy to meet other people.
I met the woman that I'm currently pursuing through the friend group that my best friend helped me build. I would never have approached this woman if I had just seen her at a bar/grocery store. I don't think I would ever just "cold call" someone like that. I need something in common with you first.
As a fellow introvert, having an extroverted friend that can act as an ambassador for you is hugely helpful. The fact she's also a woman helps you tremendously as well since it acts as social proof for other women. Best of luck with your current pursuit!
@@Totsy30holy crap you’re so right that will benefit a lot of men, i had bad luck with women because the friends I make that are women are introverted and don’t even got at least one friend so what help am I gonna get with trying to find a girlfriend when it looks like the only female friend you got isn’t interested in making more friends so you can be introduced to new people
I'm a 32yr old guy and I'll be honest, I've mostly just given up on finding someone.
Had a couple gfs in high school, got to college, and was treated like trash for even being interested in some women at clubs and bars (I even had one spit at me for asking if I could buy her a drink). I tried dating sites/apps where I'd set up a date, get there, and wait. Just for them not to show and send me a message about how I was a lot more ugly in person and my photos were misleading.
I'm not saying that this solo style is excellent for me, personally. I still have the urge to find someone to make my wife. But I don't see the benefit of wasting time to be made to feel shitty about myself. And I understand men that will choose to be alone rather than taken advantage of in the dating sphere.
Go abroad bro. The value systems are different and you'd fair better if you are a man of character. Just make sure you're constantly trying to improve yourself before that point.
You don't need a woman to be happy.
Your not ALONE my friend.
@@DarkGomito eh, yes and no
Bump these whores. Go where you are loved bro
"Chivalry is dead, and women killed it." - Dave Chappelle.
But what was the method? Did they choke it, shoot it, stab it, burn it, or bludgeon it? Or all of the above?
@@V4Now All of the above, and the tool they used was feminism.
@@V4Now frog in the pot of water
They really did, though. Why should I be nice. If nice men are derided? Why should I be honest. When liars are revered. The list goes on and on and on. So guys end up just being f boys. Help the single independent lady to rack more graveyards in her attempt to live her best life. Then get back home to chill with the homies. Let's not forget how these ladies VIDEO record themselves running trains, twerking it up, doing the most insanely disgusting things EVER. Then expect you to treat her like she hasn't just made herself available to all those other people she has been with, all those years.
Maybe more appropriately feminists killed it. I think chivalry is romantic.
It's like a person dying of thirst watching another person drown - each one thinks the other has it better.
I don't know if this is a Team Four Star reference or not
@@leunamreyo3663Krillin the short king 🗿
@@leunamreyo3663 It is!
@@demetriusean 🤣
You can learn how to swim but it is much harder to learn how to live without water.
My last ex cheated on me after four years and told me the reason was "You're good enough but he might be better", I haven't dated since. Hearing that from her broke me more than I want to admit, and I can't bear to put myself out there and risk getting hurt like that again.
I am sorry for you terrible experience. You are doing well preventing this to happen again.
This hypergamous instinct is rampant. Get a passport or be a monk. Western women spoil each other's relationships with words like that.
Mate don't let one person dictate your life.
I walked in one my ex cheating, its not that deep.
2 years later she was in my dm begging me to come to a party. I'm talking, leaving her on read within 2 weeks the same message with love hearts and xoxoxoxo. It was pathetic, she's alone and I'm happy without her.
Guy literally was overweight and had acne at 30, guy had no money etc. She did it out of insecurity, and she's victim blaming.
Youre letting your emotions lead you, Men lead with logic no matter how much it hurts our feelings, that's the curse of being a "real man"
"Real men don't cry" is a saying for a reason, we dont have that luxury we have jobs to do and family to support.
Lmao coward
Sorry you weren't through that. I promise you that not all girls are like that, but the ones that are reasonable will probably be hard to find because they just don't put themselves out there or doll themselves up as much as much as the hoes do.
She put that in an insensitive way after cheating on you. Don't let that discourage you. Relationships don't often last till you / them deserve to be with each other or till they deserve to be on your level. So chill and trust the universe. There are plenty of fish in the sea, keep your head up be confident and start a new chapter.!
I'm glad a lot of the comments made me feel better about approaching men first. I was told it's a turn off to men if i reached out first or made the first move and that it is 'masculine'. But i'mma go ahead and pursue my crush. Whatever happens happens lol
May I ask, who typically told you it was a problem or "masculine" to approach guys you like and pursue them for mating? Men or women?
@@the90sbrain both really. my dad has told me to wait to be approached and to let men provide. ive seen guys act weird about getting asked out by my female friends. in my experience, no woman has told me specifically not to but its never mentioned either (but it does happen). if you ask a man out as a woman, you come off as desperate ive witnessed. its an old school mindset that people let limit their dating pool
@@brookethomas5158 Okay, fair. As a man though, seeing many other men have spoken out on this, we would love it if women approached and were more direct with empathy. The reason guys may avoid you is because for generations women haven't approached men like men do for women. Everything is on us. Most women don't like making the first move unless it's their ideal man or the guy the other girls are swooning over.
Also, If you listen to most dudes who allowed the woman to make the moves or lead in any shape or form, she usually got pig headed, resentful, and became a bully about it. Emasculating the man for having to do what the guy traditionally would do. Even with a one time thing, like asking the man out. That's why we get leery of women asking us out or taking the initiative in general. But, if the ladies made it to where you guys overall meant what you say and didn't attack us for your engagement or leadership, we would relax more and allow things to happen.
The problem is, the wrong people on all sides are following what others do for validation, instead of doing what works for them.
@@the90sbrain Its a group mentality/lack of empathy thing why there are so many women who reject men harshly. Its for views on the internet, entertainment for friends or to feel a sense of superiority or righteousness. Men who slut shame or troll online go through the same process pretty much. Nowadays it is easier to dehumanize and not see the perspective of the otherside.
And I agree about it being all sides. Most of the times I was asked out was a jokes. The first time I was actually asked out (he got his friend to do it), I thought it was a joke and was not ready to date. For 3 months I was ridiculed and called derogatory names by his friends for rejecting a guy who's face I never saw and tried my best to let down easily and honestly. We could all use some empathy.
I understand how much courage it takes for someone to do something like that (I don't blame that guy too much) which is why i know i would be scared out of my mind taking that leap. I dont know too many men in those relationships to understand your leeriness for women who do take initiative tho, but the best thing you can do if youre dating someone who belittles you or makes you feel small is having an honest discussion or breakup. It takes courage to do both, but think about the longterm w/ the expectation that that is who they are and that you cant change them. No one deserves poor treatment and I courage that people, no matter how hard it may be, stand up for themselves first.
@@brookethomas5158 I agree for the most part on what you said. Also, I'm sorry you experienced that moment in dating. It sucks for all of us, but it makes you see others worlds. Many men are avoiding women and dating now to not be attacked or labeled some type of sex offender. We really want to be with you guys as much as the weirdos who are typically approaching you, but we have experienced and seen too much. That's why you feel or think the way you do. It's all you know, just like us. Most of us decent/good ones, are chilling in our apartments, houses, cars, or have been convinced to buy passports and leave. If you want to meet guys like that or if any other ladies who are serious & interested in good mates. Get you an Xbox, Playstation 4/5, PC, Nintendo Switch, watch sports, WWE, Anime, and start hunting with what's left while you still can.
Once you guys get them, treat them well, and hang on for dear life. Unless, they are abusing you. Good luck.
The amount of anxiety and fear I feel just thinking about approaching someone and asking them out is astronomical. I was far braver over a decade ago before social media got as bad as it is now. Nowadays I'm afraid to wind up on a TikTok and labeled a creep just for asking for someone's number.
Of course, after my ex left a couple years ago it left me in a bad spot from a financial aspect as well. Frankly, I feel too insecure as to where I'm at in life to even consider asking someone out. Back home with my mom at 28 because I couldn't afford to live on my own anymore after my ex bailed. It's embarrassing.
Pick yourself up king. Downtime is fine and feeling shit is fine too but don't make it a lifestyle. You can be better, she never deserved you. Find yourself and your strengths again. Forget about women for a while
Hey we all got a few bumps and challenges in life. Rooting for you to keep on going 💪
there's something i want you to register deeply in your head, they are human as much as you.
it's like that with you because unconsciously, you put them on a pedestal either as a judge who looks down at you or a monarch looking at her people.
i repeat, they are human.
There’s a lot of people in the same place as you, it’s crazy times right now. Don’t give up!
Sorry to hear that you’re in a rough spot. But that’s just a phase of life. Things will get better. You’re young, and as you gradually find the work and friends that make you happy and independent, the rest will start to fall into place.
Don’t underestimate the power of break-ups. They can cut you to the core. So let yourself heal and grow in a new direction. It’s not something that can be rushed, nor is it a race.
I have 0 men come up to me 😂 I've just learned that if I'm interested in a man, I go up to him and just ask him out. That's how I got my boyfriend now. He has thanked me many times for it. Because he told me he would of never approached me because he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. He just assumed I would be. So I agree with you guys. I think alot of our male friends say the same.
On top of potentially making you feel uncomfortable, there are many potential possibilities that make even conversing with a woman dangerous; being rejected is the least of our worries, as our entire way of life can be uprooted with a single online post.
"Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something." - Anonymous
According to dating coach Ryan Hussey, only a small percentage of men approach women regardless of what may happen. The ones who approach no matter what are most likely players (Chads, Tyrones, bad boys) who don't care. But as a result, it starts this cycle where women will think all men are trash because the only ones they've ever interacted with were trash. Most men, the good ones, wait for the right moment to approach a woman. If she's with her friends, talking to another man (even if it's her gay friend), is doing work, eating, reading, etc., he will not approach her. It's even harder now to find a moment for men to approach women in todays world of cancel culture, modern feminism and MeToo.
@@neonnwave1but why can’t men have bigger balls. They want women to have the bigger balls to approach. That’s a fking turn off to me if I have to show more courage than a man.
@@annco9801 why can't we have bigger balls lmao... women be telling us for 7 years about approaching in public, in bars, "leave us alone, I am with my girls, I don't need a man interrupting" etc etc.
all it takes is one photo, one tweet, one video and we lose our entire job and we get hated by the internet
@@annco9801 As Aba said in the video, if a man has something to lose (job, reputation, money, etc.) he's gonna be more cautious and not take any risks. When a woman approaches a man, she has nothing to risk. When a man approaches a woman, he risks being labelled a creep, perv, stalker, etc. and getting cancelled, which could result in him losing his job, finances, and/or more. It has nothing to do with having bigger balls, it's about being safe. If you knew that eating fugu can result in death if not prepared right, would you still risk eating it not knowing if you'd find it delicious? Same rule applies with men approaching women in this day and age since it's a gamble.
The one who looks like an African taxi driver = ABA
The one who looks like Haitian minister= PREACH
Hahahahaa 😂😂😂
The one who dresses like bill Cosby =ABA
The one who dresses like a pimp: PREACH
@@TheBehm08😂😂😂
I literally met my husband( 11years married, 13 together) because of his sister. But he said if we had not been introduced he may not have approached me. 🤷♀️ when I met him no one else existed to me, still don’t outside of they are a person. I always tried/try to be kind to anyone trying to approach. Because unless they are being overly aggressive or creepy why be mean? Be up front but kind. Maybe that is just me, because I know I struggle to step out of my comfort zone so I give everyone that same grace.
Lol!! ❤️ well this was a surprise! I always wanted to get into a verbal UA-cam battle with one of my favorite UA-camrs! 💪🏽 😂
This has sparked an interesting conversation
UA-camrs giving their viewpoints and listening, keeping it real
Story time:
I remember one time there was this girl I liked in highschool, I had a class with her. we hung out so much that she asked me to walk her to next class, So I thought we were hitting it of pretty well. One day I asked her if she wanted to see a movie or something. She then told me she just got out of a relationship and wasn't looking for anything, I didn't have a problem with it. That was until the next school day when she hooked up with my older brother. Now, I wasn't mad at my brother or anything, in fact I understood why. I was more nerdy and honestly overweight and had hella acne . My brother was tall, good looking and was oozing with fuckboy energy. I was more upset with the girl because she wasn't honest with me, and pretty soon I started noticing the same patterns with other girls I was interested in (edit: by this I mean that they were trying to be nice when rejecting me. But in turn it just hurt me a bit more than being straight forward). That was five years ago and since then, I haven't been or thought about being in a relationship since. And now looking back on it I'm kinda glad. Recently I decided to work on myself. I legit looked in the mirror one day and said "I'm gonna get sexy, and I ain't gon let none of y'all bitches hit". I lost 100 lbs in a year and I'm currently planning to start an exercise routine. I've also gained some level of confidence and feel better than ever. This probably has nothing to due with this video, but I just wanted to share this story in case anybody wanted to hear it. Keep your heads up.
Well done!! I wish you all the abercrombie and Fitch model good looks with the vibe of a demi God energy!! You deserve it!!
Yoo good for you that's great you worked on yourself and didn't let it get to you I like what you said lol "I am gonna get sexy and ain't gon let none of y'all bitches hit" 💀hahaha I need this on a shirt so when I go to the gym I wear it lol
This is related somewhat and relatable. i commend you brother, girls and grown women like her stay playing games until the day they hit the wall. She showed you her true nature and its a good thing you didn't get involved.
Amazing work on losing 100lbs, i respect any overweight person who goes to the gym or loses weight, its really really encouraging. When I workout and see other guys who are already ripped or swole? im like good for them. But when i see overweight people at the gym? 👏👏👏 a friend of mine also lost 85 lbs and stays in shape to this day, its really tough work to cut fat. So brother keep going and stay strong, stay focused 💪💪👏👏 Who knows? A loyal one out there will want you
… I honestly think that you would still be here writing this paragraph if she had simply said “No thanks, I’m not attracted to you.” You win some, you lose some.
Keep lifting ,there's a lot of pain to develop the gigachad phase , you're in the middle of it ,keep at it
I'm a guy and I don't usually go up to women anymore. Not necessarily because I've had bad experiences, but because I've seen it happen to other guys. Especially in the age of cameras and viral videos, some women flirt/instigate a situation so men can approach them just to reject the men and feel better about themselves.
Personally, I don't care either way. I wouldn't approach super attractive women anyway... Normal women tend to have less attitude and mal intentions and are generally easier to talk to
I’m a 42 yr old Black woman that’s been called cute. I roller skate; wear video game, comic book, and manga shirts; and have a book bag covered in pop culture pins and keychains. I’ve been approached by dudes as young as 22 and as old as 62. Having been made fun of and called ugly growing up, I’m still very surprised when men want to talk to me. Some have been professionals my age and some were not put together at all.
Because of the bullying I developed social anxiety disorder so I understand being awkward socially. When a socially awkward dude approaches me I am very patient and usually engage. Now if he is aggressive and/or rude, I’ll tell him so and excuse myself. I’ve also been touched, grabbed, and followed by male strangers and developed a fear of men. Therapy is helping a lot.
I write all of that to say this: my experiences as a Black woman that’s socially awkward, nerdy, and geeky are not often spoken of. Are we rare? Nope! It depends on where you go.
I just live like this: my experiences are mine and I hear and respect the experiences of others. 😊
Sounds similar to my experience. I'm attractive but not conventional for a Black woman.
Had all kinds of weird experiences in the dating world with guys that sometimes makes me weary. Not often approached in clubs but being friendly gets smiles and looks.
I've developed a tough, quirky outer shell after seeing a pattern of my more conventionally attractive female friends being pestered, stalked and sexually assaulted. Not that they asked for it but I just didn't want to show up on the radar of these sexual bullies.
I found my socially awkward girls!!!✊️✊️✊️
@@x25violator let's goooooooo.
As a socially awkward 19 year old, I've never been approached at all as people say I look 13. But I only have gotten looks from old men
*looks at profile pic*
…yeah, I’d do you :)
I approached a girl I liked in high-school, she and her friends made sure I never liked anyone else for the duration of high-school. Not worth losing sanity over.
Damn bro I feel for you
What happened?
Lol sure.
Same, did that as a girl and the bs came from nearby women, not even the boy. Didn't approach anyone again until I changed schools in my senior year
@@claff4573 what is it so hard to believe?
The best way to aproach a girl you find attractive in a specific place is to talk to them and not try to close the thing but let it open ask for her name, present yourself, compliment her and then leave. I'm telling you if you happen to see her again it will be easier because you already talked to her you know her name and she will remember you because you didn't hit on her and ask her out or for her contact. And in that way you will have a lot of time to think what to say to her next time you see her and won't be pressured to close the thing, be successful, not get rejected, and be smooth.
I’m a man in my 30s and I’m going to openly admit that the current dating scene makes me not want to bother altogether anymore.
Hell even in the gym lately I noticed I’ve been keeping my distance due to all of the uptick of lady influencers calling out “gym creeps” who are most likely just trying to mind their own.
Granted I do talk to women at places where I work but it’s usually over mundane things and nothing else.
I have confidence that this period will eventually change.
Edit:
Did not expect so many responses for this 😆
Appreciate the positive thoughts and feedback gang. Feels good knowing I ain’t the only one going through it.
It will change, just not in our generation's lifetimes. So we need to accept that fact and become content or we will die suffering in the end.
I miss the early 2000's time was simple back then
Don't give up on talking to women, just be more aware of the type of woman you are approaching because you're not gonna find the good ones at the gym
I'm in the same boat at 35. I've been more concentrated on myself with going to the gym and my finances.
Maybe in 20 year something will change, hopefully sooner.
I've watched your videos for a few years now and I'm only now noticing how beneficial the way you structure your videos are. You do it in a way that almost feels like a conversation/discussion instead of a "here's why I'm right and you're wrong" kind of approach. It helps a lot because it allows for us as the viewers to see one perspective as well as your response with your own perspectives. And that's what's so necessary these days. No one has a clue about how to talk to each other and actually come to a conclusion about the topics that makes sense for us as people to move forward.
I've never really known how difficult it was for men as the usual initiator for dating/marriage, until I watched your videos. I'm not exactly the top pick either, but it helps me to realize that they are also having a tough time and we could help each other when it comes to reviving confidence around dating. This commentary was necessary thank you.
Same! I love it!
Well said.
For some women, such as her, it must be nice to be this oblivious to your surroundings and be able to formulate your opinion based on that
That's kinda how your own personal life experiences work tho 😂
@@tiffanykim2773 I don't post it out in video format tho. Worked at a club myself so I know the dynamic they speak of.
Plus it's 2023, y'all wanna be equal - approach us too - ask em out too🤣
@@tiffanykim2773 yeah, but that doesn't mean that you base that off of everything. If you're ignorant or have no knowledge in something, just say that. Tbf though, I think she did say in her experience.
@@tiffanykim2773 for those that avoid information and knowledge then yes you are correct.
@J to be fair, I am okay with being the first to ask out when/if there are obvious hints - but the amount of time I got ghosted or led on alone is not worth it for me. After like 22, I spent about 7 years just being a homebody, working, and having hobbies. Then I met someone foreign, who was upfront about who I was and she's still committed to seeing this out as well, so we shall see how it goes.
Immense respect for the dedication of some guys (and some ladies) who go out and get rejected time and time again tho - it's definitely not for me
As a woman who crushes on women daily, i understand the struggle lol idk why i feel so intimidated but i thing social media plays a hugeeeee role! we now see the inner workings and thoughts of the female mind and how some interpret receiving attention, its scary
As someone who’s gone smack at dudes I honestly feel like only women who have actually approached men themselves can somewhat understand how nerve wracking it is to just walk up to someone out of thin air and try and spark a convo to get a number. Unless you’re Uber charismatic, handsome and like you both eluded to - tall - you’re not always gonna have the confidence and “what have I got to lose” attitude to walk up to women you find attractive and try and spit game. It takes tons of practice and lots of self esteem to do that and not grow bitter from being rejected or fearful of even approaching. I say this as a woman who gets approached by men when I go out & I always give out my number (or take theirs) even if I know I’m not interested just so that the guy does not have to deal with the rejection right then and there lol
My advice to women who feel like they’re not getting approached is to be approachable. If you’re out somewhere and see a guy you think is cute - make eye contact and smile at him, maybe a little wave. Lol and if he’s interested that will give him an opening to say “ok she notices me too lemme start an interaction” it takes two.
👍🏾
Go smack that's that DMV slang right there!
lmaooooo it really is as simple as a little reciprocation like u said. Cold bitch ain't a good look.
It’s like fishing…you gotta put your worm out there lol
@@darienm def gotta be around the way
I'm a reasonably attractive woman in my 20s and I can tell you that what you said about 'decent' men not approaching women, is true. I had to approach my husband. He was too shy and, as he put it, didn't want to be a creep or weird me out. Furthermore, I think most dudes prefer online dating nowadays. A lot of my single friends complain about men not approaching them at bars or wherever. It's just not something that's done anymore.
I don’t even think most guys like online dating, outside of the fact that it’s a little more “mutual” in terms of approaching someone. Apps are a bit of a trap in itself.
online dating is good only for that top percentile of men. It has recently took a toll on my emotional health, I'm just not even going to attempt anymore, praying i meet someone in person now. I consider myself a decent guy but for some reason women just don't match with me or i never get past the stage of successfully setting up the date when i do match
Yep respect to you for approaching your husband. More women prob need to start approaching if they a decent man or the man they want. Women can't be lazy anymore and expect any man to approach, they have to put in some sort of effort which can be a good thing and a bad thing
Women can't whinge about men not approaching if they're not willing to do it themselves. I made the moves when I was younger and got my husband.
Same here, I had to approach my boyfriend cuz he was more reserved. I have no problem doing the approaching, talking to someone and least seeing if we can have an interesting conversation.
A lot of men are still respectful and kind, too. It’s unfortunate that they feel like they’re constantly being watched under a microscope, just waiting to be called a creep for simply being attracted to someone. I like the point Aba made about how we’re just arguing with a caricature of the other gender. It’s like we’re talking AT each other instead of TO each other.
We see the videos on tic tok where even looking at a girl can get you in trouble or embarressed online. It's just not worth it anymore.
Who wants to be killed over saying no
You hit the nail on the head. Either you're talking to a caricature, or you ARE the caricature.
@@YouKnowMeDuh ‼️‼️
I am totally capable of approaching a Woman and have in the past. I've also scored off of approaching, plenty of times, but now a days....I don't even bother honestly. I don't give a damn how fine the chick is honestly, I'd rather not get labeled a predator by the Woman Im approaching or the Women on lookers. IN ANY ENVIRONMENT. Plus, when you look good and play the ignore game, that draws their attention more because they are concerned with why they aren't getting the attention from someone they're attracted to.
Can't stand this STOOOOPID ASSZZ Dating Game shit.
That last sentence hits different, i have no problem approaching either but when you have game and you have experience to understand how people move, you get tired of that shit, you find out 90% of girls are still stuck in the games (whatever their age) and you're like "aaah this childish shit never ends.., i dont know where they got that "women mature faster than men" from, im pretty sure they talking only about the body, because mentally they can be lame af
@@mdisiz6234 true as fuck most of them are fucking braindead
@@mdisiz6234 mentally women stop maturing past the age when they start getting sexual attention from the other sex.
Around 15 or so.
@@mdisiz6234 Yes the whole "women mature faster than men" thing is only physical. Theres alot of childish women.
@@mdisiz6234 Say it again for the people in the back! 💯
MICHELLE!!! I'm glad you're responding to her. She's fantastic :D
Fantastic in what regard? The fact that she attracts male simps.
Here's the thing. Whether it's at the club, out on the street, or in the grocery store, we're not mind readers. We're not going to know that 10 dudes have approached a woman already and now they're pissed. We're not going to know that they think getting approached on a street or in the grocery store is creepy and not welcome. The worst thing they can do isn't just say no anymore. Some of us are out here thinking if we tried to approach a woman, we're going to be on the next creep video posted on TikTok. You know what's safer and almost guaranteed to not be cast in that kind of light? Doing nothing. Plus, when you're alone, you literally get to do whatever you want whenever you want. And you can't say that when you're in a relationship. Relationships from start to finish are tons of stress and hard work. You like capitalism? What's the return on investment for all that stress and effort?
To be fair, you've gotta just keep an open mind and look for a partner who complements you like peanut butter and jelly. The relationship isn't work and actually improves your life. My partner and I motivate the hell out of each other and don't bicker over stupid shit, which was an issue in every relationship I had before them. You've just gotta find one good one. It's rare that people have a bunch of good relationships, usually you stick with the one that's natural and easy (5 years going strong with my love).
Doesn’t matter how good your partner is, a relationship is work nonetheless. Work requires effort and relationships require effort therefore transitively relationships are work. A good partner just makes the effort feel less burdensome. But it’s still work.
@@magicdragon9621 yeah well not every man wants a relationship when approaching lol and how are you going to figure that out from an approach
You don’t need to be mind readers. Just need pay attention to if random women checking you out. If highly attractive as person learn eventually what to look for. Yet do understand as today’s society it’s much more risk ask female on street, or grocery store, simply public area. As some people literally out here trying Shame guys for making a move. Lol
@@Raxus001 what’s problem with doing work on relationships? Not everybody lazy at work. Many more motivated to work relationships. If the partner you with motives you it just makes it easier. Reailty is some people just lazy and are with the wrong person.
Then there's me, who freezes up with anxiety when I get approached. Except at comic con tho, that adrenaline of excitement is intoxicating lol.
This really is an eye opener from men's perspective.
This is really sad and really self absorbed. But it's typical, so much for women being empathetic.
@@nathand4500 Sympathy maybe, but they can’t be empathetic. They are not men, how could they understand, I’m the person who would actually understand.
I'm honestly not even afraid of rejection. I have severe anxiety about inconveniencing people. If I go up to a woman and she sighs (or gives any other sign that I'm bothering her) I will sink into the ground and remember that for the rest of my life! I know how to say hi, I've had many female friends in my life and I have regular conversations with them all the time. The moment I think about trying to "approach" my brain just goes nope.
Aww. That's actually an endearing quality. 💁🏽♀️
Try behavioral therapy, is great for anxiety.
Ugh I know how you feel.
I truly know that feeling .
@@advantageous-methis is NOT an endearing quality
As a women I have never understood why women can't be more respectful to a guy approaching you. There is a nice way to say no and to leave the man with his dignity in tact. Laughing, roasting him up with your friends, making him feel small and putting him on display is super horrible and unnecessary. I try to be overly kind. I even had a women approach me the other day and I let her know that I was super flattered but I was in a relationship. I didnt want her to feel mocked and rejected even though I am straight. I think being kind will give a guy the confidence to approach the next gal. We are helping each other out women by not leaving a man destroyed after an encounter with us.
This is good behaviour. Thanks for being like that. Majority of men will walk away with admiration about you trust me. How I wish other girls were like that, But alas, majority of girls seem to like toxic behaviour more.
Don’t blame women. Although, we are the perpetrators. However, there are so many men who want to send us back to the kitchen. So many men who have not just other lovers, but other families. And, women are just now getting freedom. This is just the seed that millennia of degenerate men planted. But is not okay
That's how dating used to work, but now women use men as an ego boost. They did a study where women were flirted with by an attractive man, and then afterward a less attractive man came up and asked them out. They compared this to the womens behavior if they were approached by the less attractive man after having been rejected by the handsome man. What they found was that when the woman was rejected by the attractive man, she was more likely to reject the less attractive man.
The reasoning behind this was that when she's rejected by the attractive man, it impacts her self esteem negatively and uses her rejection of the less attractive man to boost her ego back up. The fact that many women today cannot decipher the difference between sexual attention and relationship attention is only making this phenomenon worse. They think that the men that want to sleep with them actually care about them and want to have a relationship with them. So you're left with a bunch of average women who think they should be able to get into a relationship with exceptional men, and therefore reject men who are actually appropriate matches for them.
@@prashanthb6521 thanks. I hope anyone who walks away from me feels good about themselves always.
@@jth_printed_designs why can't we realize that it takes so much courage for any man, especially what people might consider a less attractive man to put himself out there to approach a woman?
I find it flattering that something about me caught someone else's eye. Femininity is supposed to be soft and beautiful and eye catching. It is a Ying to male yang. What's sad is that because women have stopped doing and being feminine many of us will end up alone rejecting male advances because we have hardened ourselves so much that we can no longer tell the difference between a player and a genuine male looking for something long term and stable. Thanks for the insight!
I really enjoy Michelle's content and listening to her takes on different things, and I really enjoy this channel for the same reason. Seeing the "streams cross" like this has been wild. I was waiting for this response after she had mentioned Aba and Preach a couple times, and I'm really glad that it's been chill. 💖
Same! I like both channels and was glad both were chill
Same here! Love her content and was waiting for this response!
Same...i watch her too but i wonder how long this back and forth is going to last 😊.
whats her channel?
@@randyd9414 My thoughts might probably offend you that is her channel.
I have never heard the term "checking out of dating" before. But when I look around in my social circle, that seems to describe exactly what is happening. You'd think that online dating options make dating and finding relationships more accessible, but I notice it has made people throw in the towel instead.
Nobody's giving up, it's just the women only want the hottest man everybody else gets left out in the cold
if I may, it helps a lot if you skip online dating altogether and focus on simply making friends. meet new people with shared interests, and eventually you may catch feelings for somebody and vice versa. doing it that way also means you get to skip a lot of the "feeling the other person out" period of dating, because you already know this person. you don't have to worry about investing time, effort, and money into someone who is likely incompatible with you, because you already know who they are and probably have a good idea of that from the get-go
@@zuckdaddy1596 This is the way to go, especially if you can meet new people while doing something you enjoy. I know it's a hard pill for some to swallow, but hobbies that isolate you aren't conducive to finding a romantic partner. If you can meet someone who shares a hobby with you that gets both of you doing something in person, then your chances skyrocket compared to online interactions.
I've done fairly well with women most of my life. I was in an eight year relationship about two years ago until we broke up. Coming out of that relationship back into the single world is a bitch. I gave up on approaching women when I was getting way more attitudes and laughs when I would do little things like say "hi" or "hello". One day I just said "Nope" and no more of that. Fellas get your mind money and body right. Read, exercise, and study the good word.
8 years to fail??? Smdh. What a waste of time.
Same situation, but I still keep going. It's kinda sad to see people who just have no faith in relationships anymore. Our 7 years weren't perfect, but we learned a lot about communicating, partnership and just sharing a life with somone. Going back into the single world made me realize that dating and being in a relationship are 2 very different sets of skills.
There’s nothing wrong with people dating, if you feel like the person is not for you. That’s fine. I recommend listening to God about it. ✝️
@@sg5720 It’s not failing nor is it a waste of time, it could be a learning experience for him.
@@sg5720 There isn't such a thing as a waste of time.
Totally true. It's not that guys don't approach girls, it's mostly that "boys that women want" don't approach them. And we can see it on dating apps too : their standards got more restrictive.
Honestly, i've reduced quite a bit approaching women year after year down to almost zero (offline). If it's not about being spoke to like shit, you're just ignored, and if everything goes fine, it's mostly just small talk that usually won't get you a phone number in the end. I rather enjoy my time alone or with my friends rather than probably wasting it.
Exactly, ain't nobody got time for one word Responses and a lack of interaction until it's something that benefits you
"if it's not being spoke to like shit, you're just ignored and if everything goes fine, it's mostly just small talk."
Summed up to a tee. There's literally no incentive to try lol. Waste of time.
I think our current generation also lacks community. We think we have it because of social media but these ppl aren’t with you on the day to day. It helps to surround yourself with ppl in real time to practice socializing with multiple personalities in order to defined who your and what you like. That’ll build up confidence. Our generation needs to get off their phones and go find hobbies, so we can find like minded individuals. That’s how you create a community of love
Preach 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yep
Very true. I feel sorry for people who grew up with social media. I think it will be hardest for them.
No our generation lacks FEMALE ACCOUNTABILITY!!! I'm sick of all you pretentious children walking around while skirting every consequence or rule while simultaneously yelling at the top of your voices on every roof _"STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!! STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!! STRONG & INDEPENDENT! I'M STUNNING & BRAVE!!"_ It's driving us men crazy. It's why we're done. We abandoned everything, schools, workforce, marriage, fatherhood. You're not worth it.
Interestingly even "meet up" groups are starting to put in their descriptions that fraternizing is not allowed. So the possibility of finding an organic romantic connection via shared interest is seemingly actively being stamped out. It's a tough seen. People do want to connect in the most meaningful ways, but we can't seem to get out of each others way, and refuse to truly understand each other, for fear of hurt(and perhaps fear of loss of identity if tied strongly enough to that fear). But forgetting existence is hurt and joy together.
Personally I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place, the apps suck your soul out and make you feel worthless and approaching in person runs you the risk of being called a creep. But just the other day I decided to give approaching in person another go and it went great, she said no but that didn't bother me because it was nice to overcome that fear for once.
Other than college where I had some fun, I've always had the blinders up when it came to women. Never had great examples or good advice when it came to dating so I just treated every interaction with women like it was a professional/workplace environment. Only recently now that I've landed the dream job and had time to work on myself (hitting the gym, losing weight, trying to look put together) that I feel confident in going into the dating world. And fuck is it rough, I think through all the situations that could occur before judging if it's worth approaching to start a conversation like it's a chess game. But you learn from the L's you take, so ima keep pushing because it is what it is. Great video!
Advice, stop treating it like a chess match. You're goal isn't to convince a woman to like you, you're goal is to find a woman already looking for a guy just like you.
Too many guys make the mistake of focusing their search around getting "a" woman, like any female will do. From the woman's perspective that makes it seem like he doesn't actually know what he wants and sees women as interchangeable.
Figure out what you want, and realize that the sooner a woman rejects you, the better because you don't have to waste your time on someone who wasn't going to work out.
@@Vannabee13 the best advise
@@Vannabee13 You couldn't be more wrong. The type of men women generally already like is pretty small. Unless you're one of them, you're not going to encounter someone who already likes you. Women are emotional beings who make emotional judgements. While I do agree that he shouldn't treat it like a chess game, the key to securing a women is to draw her attention to you in a positive way. Make a good impression that makes you seem unique and stand out from the crowd. Then you can just be yourself and she'll take note, her emotions will do the rest.
That doesn't mean every women is going to like you. You just need to sweep her off her feet to get her interested initially. If it clicks, it'll work out from there. But if you can't start the engine first, she isn't going to look your way even if you do have compatible personalities.
@@thenonexistinghero you know nothing about women according to your comment. Vannabee is correct in everything they wrote! i’m a woman btw
@thenonexistinghero "if you can't start the engine first, she won't look your way even if you do have compatible personalities"
No, if you can't start the engine, then you aren't compatible at all full stop. Stop deluding yourself with the "we'd be perfect if you just gave me a chance!" bit. it ain't true dude. It's a fantasy you conjured in your head. If you were compatible, she'd be dating you. That's the truth.
I'll still approach every once in awhile when it's a woman I'm really attracted to, but I definitely don't 'hunt' as actively as I used to. Reason being is that so many women are straight hostile and try to make a mockery out of me for simply talking to them. Like it's cool if you aren't interested, but don't intentionally try to shame me and make me seem like a weirdo for shooting my shot. Like damn at least lie you have a boyfriend and we move on ☠️
id try volunteering or joining a class, go to friends parties, meet as many people as possible
Which is my whole issue. If you don't like me cool just say so and I'll go on my mery but don't disrespect me for no reason
@@kaimobley5324 fr that shits lame
Damn, it’s that bad? I was dating in the 90s and that’s what we did. Lie and say we had a boyfriend. We didn’t feel the need to mock or be mean. Plus we didn’t want no problems lol
@@TriRacialAmericana thank you for being a good soul.
Every man has different reason for not approaching. I don't approach because like Aba said, I'm one of those guys that feels like it's no longer worth the risk. I started dating in like 1988, 1989. Dated on and off until I gave it up in 2014. I had a long run, a couple of relationships that lasted a year or more, and was engaged twice. And I've been cheated on in 75% of my relationships. It wasn't until I was in my early 30's before I had a relationship that ended for reasons other than cheating. Maybe it's just me and I'm the kinda guy that this happens to, I dunno. But my experience tells me that *if* it turns into a relationship that lasts, I should expect to be cheated on. And I'm at a point now where I have too much in my life (mainly stability, peace of mind and freedom from stress and drama) to risk losing any behind a woman that is probably going to cheat. The results obtained are not worth the cost and effort.
Your dating the wrong type of woman. I think you know that, but you don’t want to admit it. 🤷🏽♀️😔
@@sg5720 what is the "wrong type of woman though". Everyone got their preferences and that's why discussions like these tend to be so tricky
@J Praise The one that cheats on you and was never honest and loyal to begin with.
I'm a straight woman and even I'M intimidated by approaching Michelle 😭😂
I'm an average male and she doesn't intimidate me. Probably life experiences. I wouldn't marry her because I'm done with that. I'd be friends with her.
Same. I'm a woman and she is a bit too much for me.
There is something else she is missing. If I'm not mistaken, she is in her mid-to-late 30s. That means she grew up before every 8-year-old had a smart phone and a tablet glued to their hand and had to learn how to interact with people, in person. She will find guys in their 30s and 40s who have no problem approaching her and are able to hold a conversation. That is not the case for many guys in their late teens and 20s today (frankly, most girls in that age range cannot hold a conversation in person either). She is an attractive woman from a generation that had to learn social skills growing up. Of course she isn't going to notice a decline. That would be like asking Warren Buffet's kids if they are seeing the impact of inflation. They would not know what inflation felt like if it punched them in the face! When she was in her teens and 20s, if a guy asked her out and got shot down, it was no big deal. He could move on to the next girl he was interested in. Now, the girl that rejected him will record a video, plastering his face all over the Internet, laughing about how he tried and/or labelling him a creep because his approach was not polished. I do not blame guys for avoiding that situation!
It’s young men who approach more tbh.
She is 32))
@@lilsbourne that still means she was around 16 when facebook was just starting and well into adulthood when Insta came around. She definitely grew up before social media was really a thing. Everyone born before 97/96 essentially "grew" up before social media had the influence it now has on later generations. Unfortunate really.
Nah, men in their 40's don't know how to approach a woman either. The problem is than many many men have an unrealistic idea of what we want and don't understand what it can be interpreted as creepy by our side.
Good point ☝️ hadn't looked at it like that. I feel sorry for the younger generation..I'm sure Japanese men got to this point 20 years ago and started going for robots. I feel it for my sons, these days if a guy gives a young woman a compliment, he gets accused of harassment. Whereas back in the day, as long as d they were respectful, those would make my day :)
I get approached maybe once a year lol but I do see a lot of men smiling at me but won’t come up to me and I don’t blame them. Women are mean. Especially if they don’t find you attractive.
You have approach anxiety too, huh?
Exactly! Women are mean and don't even find most Men attractive.
@@bambooforrestswhy would she want to have bigger balls than a man. It’s a turn off to see a bitch made scared man afraid to approach. If she has to approach a man cause he’s more scared then that’s a major turn off.
Thank you for mentioning that at the end…. Men who ACTUALLY have something going on or would be amazing bfs/husbands/fathers are not approaching anymore. Personally I’m not afraid to approach a lady I find attractive but I end up not because of the risks that you mention (and the games/I don’t have the time or energy)bc I actually have something to possibly lose if I “come” off a certain way. Dating now is def an issue for both men & woman. I have really good female friends who would be great gf/wives and they always talk about the issues they have with good men never approaching them. The woman who brag about all these men in their dms/approaching them still are single or don’t have a 💍 on their finger…
Went to a happy-hardcore party at a small venue my friend invited me to. A very laid back crowd. I got the vibe that most of the guys there were kind of nerdy. Not exactly an environment full of super Chads or anything like you'd see at a typical club. I had to throw back 4 shots before I finally got the courage to talk to some women. While I was forcing myself hard to socialize with the opposite sex, I noticed this 6' 3" woman in the middle of the dance floor. I thought she was pretty but never thought she would talk to me with her being 6" taller than me. I went and had 2 more drinks. I noticed NO ONE had approached her for the past hour. Which suprised me, but then I realized that this is a venue full of normal guys like me who've been demoralized by insta thots and tinderellas who won't even give you a passing glance if you're under 6'. I wound up introducing myself after throwing back another shot and we talked and it turns out she was really sweet. We had a good time getting to know eachother that night. But the point I'm trying to make is this: less men are approaching and i saw it that night. Shit is hard out here. I was so certain this chick was going to blow me off that I almost didn't talk to her, and just about every other guy in there probably felt the same way.
Women over 6 foot aren't approached not because men find them intimidating but because most men don't find them attractive.
If she's going on purely anecdotal personal experience, then I will counter with purely anecdotal personal experience: every guy I know, whether family, friend or work colleague, has given up on women. Each of them has individually come to the conclusion that it's just not worth the time, energy and money only to end up getting cheated on, dumped and/or ghosted in a year or two. As for me, I realized after my last gf suddenly ghosted me, that my life got way better without the additional stress. I became happier and more productive, so I'm probably done too.
same unfortunately. a lot of dudes i work with and have worked with have also began checking out.
do the men in your friend group hangout more often now that they have given up on women?
Exactly this. Her biggest mistake is conflating anecdotal evidence to be hard core facts and using that as a prop for her argument. Also made her come off as conceited
This is not one-sided, I know a few women who have completely lost the interest on dating or the idea of marriage or being with a man, myself included. Either because they don’t want to be cheated on, considering it a waist of their time or just lost complete the interest on it.
I can add to that, all my friends are single for years, decades even. I am also single without any prospects whatsoever
Man, I'm so afraid of losing my job because of accidentally cold approaching the "WRONG PERSON" I've been scarred because something like that happened in my elementary school and I Was labeled the bad kid and i couldn't go out for recess, they did that to me as a 12 year old imagine what they would do to a 18 year old black man.
Never date someone from your workplace.
You got in trouble in elementary school and they wouldn't let you out for RECESS? Thats so horrible and a totally unique situation I'm sure only you experienced.
@@85inexact are you okay?
what did you do at school at 12 years old in regards to dating that they would not allow you to go to recess? I mean I have had detention many times but never for anything related to *dating* actually even when it was against school rules we were too sneaky for that.
Yeah and don't date someone from your workplace. I mean I have, but I was not the one doing the approaching in that case but still very risky and potentially messy.
I always respect how measured your response videos are. Also, I want to respond to the young women asking why no one approaches them when they look nice: when I was in my 20’s, I only EVER got flirted with/asked for my number in public when I was dressed casually. Sweats, joggers, tennis shoes and zip up athletic hoodies at the grocery store. Not once was I ever addressed by men when I would look even slightly dolled up (boot heels and skinny jeans for instance). I assume it’s because men felt that I was safer to approach when I was in comfortable clothing. I also had slightly more attention once I was married, wearing the same casual attire. Just a theory though.
That makes sense....... When I see a girl all dressed up and all, it kinda makes me feel like she goes out only with dudes who can afford $700 dinner dates or drive nice expensive cars. But when I see a girl dressed in casual clothing I see someone I can relate with, and be comfortable while talking to her.
Yup, more dressed up = less approachable
Casually dressed = more approachable
Sweat clothes means you don't got a man or you don't have sex. A sexy outfit means you got a man or you a h03. When you get dolled up it makes it look like you gonna act like you better then any guy that approach you. So they don't bother. When you dressed regular. That makes you look like you won't act like you're better then them.
I agree with you. Even as a woman, I feel more comfortable approaching someone who dresses more casual than put together. If I am lost somewhere, I will approach the casual person because it feels like they will be more open to have a conversation and help me.
This makes sense.
I was a late bloomer. I'm finally at a point socially where I think I could muster up courage to approach women ,but its at the wrong time because now on top of the normal anxiety you have to be worried about getting put on blast all over social media for 'being a creep'. Just doesn't seem worth the risk, I have enough self confidence issues as is lol
The irony of this video is that the same women complaining about being approached are the SAME ones who are deathly afraid of talking to a really attractive guy. Ladies please just shoot your shot, rejection is a part of life, it is not that scary.
-Sincerely a girl who slid into his DMs and happily married with child 9 years later
imma be real, i have comfortably approached girls in clubs or in different countries but in most cases i could prolly put that courage up to alcohol. when being out in public, even when i'd see a girl giving me 'obvious signals' that she's into me i'd still not go. even though i don't get mad anxious but i just tend to talk myself out of it; i'm definitely working on myself and on boosting my confidence
I feel the same way when I smoke weed. If I'm smacked, I can be the life of the party. Even when I'm sober, I have a decent level of charisma, but I'm a bit shy and awkward at first, so I struggle to naturally starting conversations and get past small talk. Once there's a rapport, it's pretty easy. But even in that circumstance, letting my intentions be known (getting a number) for a girl I find attractive has always been nerve-racking. I haven't had much success
Same here, the older you get the riskier hit you take to you’re own mental health. Women don’t understand that not all of us are creeps, we go by the olden day tradition but apparently even that is creepy. So why bother
I have the confidence, I even sometimes have the energy but the main thing I don’t have is the time. As men there’s nothing and no one that’s going to help us when we are older and because of that I’d rather spend my time building a future for me than wasting any of it trying to find the right woman. My perfect person died when I was 14, that was in 2007, I’m 29 about to be 30, I no longer act in grief over her death so when it comes to dating I’m no longer interested in investing in it. She’s not here and neither is my interest in dating anymore. Men are walking away because it’s no longer anything to gain vs the amount of effort put in, causal sex gets boring after the 63rd time you’ve been with a stranger. You don’t care anymore after a certain point.
Forgot about the time. Don't call after 2 days. Call after 3 days. Results vary. Don't call after getting the number. Text after getting the number. You a creep if you call her, after getting the number. Don't be to confident. But don't be spineless. Have big D energy, whatever that fooking means. Treat her nice. But don't be too nice. The list is endless. Yet Tyrone and Chad get to run through them digging them guts viciously. While you have to crack the code. No thanks. I'll pay for the full girlfriend experience, when the need arises. And get back to my peace and quiet.
It's also annoying when the chick thinks her time is more valuable, like she aint accepted your off to both be at a location.
Exactly how I felt, when I was in highschool all I cared about was girls and early college days same thing, girls. Im 24 now and dating just doesn't feel worth the amount of effort an time put into it. Sex is not worth all that, finding a life partner sure i'd like that but thats much harder to find since lots of people my age (not even just women) don't care that much for it yet.
Which I get, your young and trying to build. I've been building a future myself and it feels more worth my time and effort. I just feel maybe im not mature enough to date mentally yet.
Live your life, dude, how you want to live it. No shame in being single. No shame in not having casual sex, no shame in just doing you. Too many guys obsess over wanting female attention that they base their entire self worth on it. Most of them aren't even mentally and emotionally healthy enough for a relationship anyway. Most of them dont even know why they want a relationship in the first place, they just think it's something their supposed to have that will somehow magically make all their other issues go away. That ain't how it works. Relationships are work. They don't fix anything. they're the thing that constantly needs maintenance.
Yep.
I'm just remembering this one timebut I was brand-new in school and because I decided to be assertive I approached a group of kids and introduced myself and they all got up and walked away. and I still remember that and I still don't approach a group of people readily anymore. I can't imagine what it must be like for guys when that's just like a regular Tuesday
All the women I have dated are people I knew through friends. I think the chance of hooking up with a psycho when you cold approach is 50/50, which is way too high for my likings. Go out with your buddies, get them to bring friends you don't know and bring your friends they don't know. That's the key. When you're with other people, it's easier to avoid rejection, filter psychos and actually chill rather than be constantly anxious.
what if you just moved to a new city and have no friends there
@@MunkeyyCANA Oh man that's a different kettle of fish. I'd be trying to make my new place home before trying to form a new relationship. From there, most people make their friends group at work. Other ways is any other social hobby like dance, sports, clubs.
I've watched both channels for a long time and they actually have very similar views on most things. If they talked, they'd actually get along very well
I know!!!!! I was like yaaaahhhh they found my girl 😁😁😁
9:53 is super poignant "we are not understanding the others experience, and we're arguing against the caricature of what we perceive them as"
That line stuck with me too. Very well put.
I know that younger men are giving up on women because I have a brother and I hear what he talks with his friends
He always said this girl is calling me but I don’t want to waist my time and get a headache so many men are playing online and not answering their phones also they’re busy with their side hustle that they know that having a woman around is an inconvenience.
When I ask my brother if someone day he is going to married and have kids he said no because not many women are faithful and want to be accountable and responsible for their actions. Most of my brother’s friends think like that
They want someone who they can relay on if times get tuff but they don’t see that on most women.
This one hits home. I remember being 23 , really good shape, had my shit together and yet it wasn't enough for even the most average of girls. I worked out twice a day, eyebrows plucked, learned how to dress, always smelled nice. I would be feeling myself , go out to the bar and feel like a troll. I've had some one night stands here and there ,but it was never worth the effort. Your average man just simply isn't wanted, not even above average. You have to be some extreme outlier to have a decent consistent dating life at least in America. And it completely destroys your self esteem and perception of yourself. I don't blame men at all, all you can do is try at the end of the day.
I think it’s also the “nightlife” environment where we women are dressed up and looking our best so we might be open to a one night stand if he is way above average looking, but tbh most women don’t want one night stands, so we’re not as open to guys when we are out. I think most average men really need to avoid dating apps or bars and focus on community group activities like weekend sports or hiking meetups, volunteer groups, any other hobby groups, etc. When a woman gets to see you in context where your shared interests and values are on display, she has more to go off of then just your looks and she will be way more interested in an average looking guy because she can see what he brings to the table.
@@ProdavackaDivu That is the problem with today's culture though. You see as a man I will rather approach the seemingly nice girl at my work and not some loose looking woman at a club. But in today's society it is too much of a risk because I risk my job with tons of false accusations, HR departments etc etc. Not to mention the awkwardness that will be developed if she rejects you badly etc.
You don't risk your life as much by approaching a woman at the bar as much as you lose by trying to flert with a coworker or a client or anything like that although that is rarely a life partner meeting but mostly a sexual one.
Honestly, men need arranged marriages back. Because the average man is invisible to most women until they get desperate and a man can't go around risking his income, life and reputation everywhere in the hopes of getting a woman.
Here I am dating a guy working 30 hours a month on minimum wage, doesn’t pay utility bills, no car, no savings. I bought and cooked him Wagyu steak and gave him a 40 minute gua sha massage. All I have ever wanted is the bare minimum in return and I get yelled at and made to feel entitled because I don’t appreciate having to ask a guy that’s younger than me permission to vacuum my own apartment because it might get in the way of shit he plans to do 5 hours from now
@@SobrietyandSolace I don’t recommend being with him. I recommend listening to God. ✝️ And casting all your cares into Jesus because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7. And God loves you, nothing in all creation can separate you from His live. Romans 8:38-39. ✝️ You are not alone.
@One Of Zero This guy really said arrange mariage needs to be brought back?!?? WTF. Find a hobby outside the workplace and clubs! That's what to person comments was referring to.
I met my wife at the gym, but only ever started speaking to her because I saw her talk to a receptionist I was also friends with. If I had to walk up to her point blank and talk to her, it likely never would have happened. What is funny is I only have the confidence to do anything difficult like that (not talking to women obviously) now, BECAUSE I know even if I look stupid, she will love me.
This is wholesome
"We're having a thing where we don't understand others experiences and then get mad at the caricature of what we perceive of them instead of the reality." Couldn't agree more and this is much of society's problems.
Solution: men should go to strip clubs. Feel what it's like to be approached and aggressively sold an experience.
@dipset4016 That' makes no sense whatsoever.
@@kurayamaking6425 you’ve never been to a strip club have you?
@harsh3948 I have but, same like people pushing OF in your face?
Pretty much what I have been doing as a 22 year old young man this shit is impossible getting dumped for trying to get my life right but still not having it all really puts a damper on dating I decided to focus on me build myself into the man that I envisioned and I will get to pick. BACK THEN THEY DIDNT WANT ME NOW IM HOT THEY ALL ON ME !! 💪🏿
At this point, I'm checked out of the game. I just don't want to pretend, or put on this confident façade and be something I'm not anymore. I empathize with what women go through, and I don't want to bother them either. I just don't know what the solution is and its become too draining to try and figure it out. It feels like the bars too high for men these day, not just physically, or financially, but with how men are expected to feel and be, it doesn't feel like there's room to be an individual as a man anymore.
i dont empathize with women they have it 100x easier and do not give a fuck what men go through
Solution is simple, women must approach men they find attractive, since society and law is constructed around women being the ones who decides consent, it's too socially risky for men right now. Maybe things will change in the future and we'll flip back to the old ways.
Aba switched their names so convincingly I forgot who was who for a second 😆
I had to Google it again lol
😏😉🙊🙉🙈
Gaslighting kings lol
I met my girlfriend in a group setting that led to a period of talking before we got together. All but one of my ex's I met in a similar way but have had results both walking up to women and on dating apps. Walking up to them always took a certain amount of confidence but never pushed my luck or acted creepy. Appreciated the W when it was a W or took the L and kept it pushing.
The shy respectable guys that don't want to hit on a woman, are almost always the ones that we WANT to hit on us. The obnoxious loud brass ones are the ones that we cannot stand and they're the only ones that step up and ask us out. I hate it so much
Thats because the shy ones are used to be alone. They have better things to do than approaching women.
“Shy” no respectable yes. It’s okay to be introverted but shy is not attractive.
how about be an adult and use your words. step up. but i'm guessing you just want to cherry pick aspects of equality that are comfortable and beneficial only.
Maybe you should start approaching the shy respectable guys more before loud obnoxious dude approaches you??????
@@nathand4500 She’s sharing her experience being hit on. Chill with the assumptions and condescension.
It's harder if you are introverted, shy, social anxiety. Always has been since humanity began.
@David Oppong can we not with the feminist bullshit. Your friends are not the OP nor you. Everyone is different.
@@Lumpiaaa10 Only if the shy guy is OK looking.
@@Lumpiaaa10 nice trolling bait.
@@Lumpiaaa10 Harder doesn’t mean impossible
Stop with the neurotic, anxiety mess and get out of your head. Have confidence in yourself as a man.
I tapped in 2020. Was with a woman for most of my adult life (currently 38) and she cheated on me in 2018 cuz she was bored and insecure. Spent a year finding myself before allowing myself to be with someone else and I met the most amazing woman in 2019. She was someone I couldn't think would exist. But she had hang ups about her ex and would accuse me of trying to get back with mine. In the end, we broke up and she went back to her ex the next day. Had a female friend I knew for five years and we got really close after this break-up. My kid loved her and so did I. But she started shit talking people behind their backs and it was so stomach churning to see she was this person. I spent months passively telling her it wasn't alright and then she just shit talked people behind my back instead. I created an exit for myself and instead of letting me just leave, she gaslit me and told me I was a shitty father. I'm not. Being a great father is the only thing I am if I'm nothing else.
I tapped in 2020. I can still get women. I get unsolicited nudes, women trying to cheat on their men with me, and women trying to hook up so I take care of them and their kid(s). So I'm not an incel because I get sex. I just won't do relationships and I certainly won't initiate anything. I don't even bring women around my place cuz I don't want my kid to see another woman come in and out of my life.
For me, sex is actually much easier than meaningful relationships, I mean to get, some women may say oh you have to give everything to any women who will sleep with you or give you the time of day, but many of my female friends and family have always warned me not to underestimate women's capacity to be *bitches*.
Can you say why you take care of their kids also? If you are sleeping with a woman, what makes you care about taking care of them and their kids?
The sad part is, you are the exception rather than the rule, as most guys get nothing for the vast majority of their lives. And in your case, you discovered the juice wasn't worth the squeeze even when it was available to you. American western women are fallen.
@@ctguitarguy8510 you have overgeneralized the male population, most guys don’t get nothing.. it is the rare for a man to still be a virgin.. most men use women for sex. Stop thinking one reality is the whole reality
@@DanniBby I don't. Their goal is to hook up to bring me into their life. Most recently, it was a coworker who was pregnant and already had three kids. She was hoping I'd be a roof over their heads, food in their stomachs, and a solution to her problems. I'm not. Nothing happened between us because it's transparent what the price is.
She wasn't the only one. Girl with five kids from four baby daddies tried to get me to have unprotected sex to lock me down. Squashed it before anything happened. Currently a woman hit me up after 16 years. She has three grown kids but she's single with a six year old. All she talks about is hooking up and how lonely she is, and how hard being a single parent is. So when she pulls the trigger on it, she'll find I've got my shields up.
@7:59 OH MY GOD!! THERE HAS A THIRD ONE!!! Mais c'est qui ce pouchon?? Yo, Tyrone! (no heaumeau) .
I've never approached a girl in my life. Everytime I get to a state where I consider building up the courage to do it, I'll catch a tiktok or UA-cam vid of girls complaining about "creepy" behaviour which just puts me off everytime.
Only time I've approached a girl is to see how many sets she's got on gym equipment I'm tryna use
Just look nice and say hi.
Stop being a b!tch
Just walk up, say hi, smack her in the butt and call her toots
Lol you do know those videos are because you frequently watch them to empower more similiar videos
@jwoods9659 Easy to say if you're decent looking and able to not look/act strange while talking to someone you find attractive. I agree that if you talk to a girl confidently and with no expectations, then you'll likely have a good conversation at the very least, but most guys aren't capable of that
I'm going on 8 years of not being in a relationship. I've only ever been in one relationship. This was when I was 18 and now I'm 26. I don't approach women for multiple reasons some of it's anxiety and some of it is because of watching other people in my life going through problems with the woman they are with to the point and just kind of makes me go I don't really wanna be with no one. And I also don't approach a lot of women because most women that I have met they I'm even remotely interested even with my same age range are not as mentally as mature as I would want them to be and I don't want to be with anyone who is mentally 10 years younger than me like they are in highschool and I don't need people in my life who also try to control me because of what has happened to myself and people around me. I'm glad I'm single right. Got a house in my name. A car in my name. Just get money more down pact and get in shape. And at this point I would much rather have a woman approach me because at that point I know what you want or what you might want trying to get with me.
I love Michelle's videos, especially from her other channel "My Thoughts Will Probably Offend You" so this was a weirdly unexpected crossover since I like both of you guys haha. She (along with other fitness influencers who have successfully lost weight) have helped me lose 40 pounds. Plus she does cosplay and loves cartoons so it's entertaining. She also reacted to your video about that woman who was filming guys look at her in the gym. Her "after dark" channel is more social commentary unrelated to weight loss. While I agree with most of her takes, yea this one I didn't agree with. It did sound a bit like "I don't notice it, so it must not be true"
Same here, I was subbed for a few years and only a year ago I subbed for unrelated reasons to this video. It’s weird because she’s usually empathetic towards sane people with valid points. This one was off for her.
She still hasn't gotten rid of the thing that made her overeat. She replaced it with narcissism.
I agree, and I like Michelle as well !
@@twintyroI guess as a woman I agree, the men I attract haven’t been on the decline, the guys who have holed away are personally dudes I am not into so I guess I don’t notice that
I grew up with a lot of low self-esteem and social anxiety, it was hard for me to make friends. In my mid 20s now, I've had many people tell me how this girl and that girl was checking me out and thought I was cute and I started seeing it for myself and slowly realized that I'm an attractive guy apparently. That being said, although I don't have the low self esteem or social anxiety anymore, I still am low key terrified of approaching women, even when I know they're into me because of some past experiences where I completely flopped in my few attempts.
How'd you overcome it fam? Im in the same boat and need some tips..
Damn bro this is me to the tee lol I had ppl tell me a girl was feeling me and never new what to do with that or was to afraid to approach
I remember having a huge crush on this girl back in highschool and later finding out that she did too but never new how to approach here or how to progress from that so I basically just let it go and keep on having a crush on her until I graduated
BIGGEST REGRET LOOKING BACK ON IT KNOW but I’m doing alittle better compared to before
@@Dash-cm4ol Learn how to say hi to atleast 5-10 women a day, with no motive. If they don't say anything back continue on with your day, if they try to stand around to have a conversation after tell her you want to meet her
@@Dash-cm4olI feel like it starts with just asking random questions like "whats the time" or "how do I get to xyz" and doing it a few times every day gives u a lot of confidence believe it or not, at least for me. Because it feels like I overcame a hurdle for that day, then it gets far easier to spark conversations
U are cute. Being funny is the best way to break the ice. Funny or corny.
This was definitely a real constructive response. I just had a conversation with two women about these kinda things and they genuinely don’t realize the differences in our dating experiences.
That's because they're females, they don't know, or care. Introspection is not their genders strong suit.
Why would they?
Unless they're bisexual, it still wouldn't matter. No one ever talks about it unless it's going terribly.
I never thought I will see a day when I will seek the help of a Sorceress in order to keep my marriage and family together.
@Mark Reeves Well, I got the help I was seeking from a woman called Luana Kae Branigan she can be of help to you.
@David Velasquez try Jesus, he is free of charge and reliable.
Ooooh, I’m so happy for this video. I’m such a Michelle McDaniel Stan 💖💖💖💖💖
I remember I told a woman on a date once that I almost never ask women out if it isn't over an app and she was visibly disappointed and immediately lost interest in me. I bet if I could have beamed some of my failed approach experiences into her head and made her understand what that felt like she wouldn't have reacted like that. Often women will go their whole lives without knowing how brutal and humiliating being rejected by someone can be, and have no concept of how hard it is to walk up to someone you don't know and come up with a reason to talk to them without making it feel weird. I'm a pretty good looking guy too, I can only imagine what that would be like for ugly people. Why put yourself through that when you can just install an app?
Who are you getting rejection from??? A absolute hottie that's above your level innit? Did you ever approach someone who is average and does not meet the beauty standards???? So get out of here please. Conventionally unattractive women get made fun of, rejected and it's very damaging to self esteem. So maybe if you approach someone on a low level, you won't get rejected.
Dude, to keep it short and simple, they are likely not going to understand, not in the way you want to, and that's fine. Also that's not the kind of thing you want to tell a woman on the first couple of dates, no matter how honest you're trying to be. People want to keep the illusion of the magic of dating in those early times, let them have it
Honestly, the cold approach is a terrible strategy but dating apps aren't a much better option (statistically men out number women on dating apps 2 to 1, and the dating app profits on you nor getting matches and continuing to swipe as long as possible).
Best option is to find social activities that allow you to interact with people casually and build up a familar rapport with women where conversations start naturally so when you express intrest in them it's less out of the blue and they know a bit about you.
Fact is, when you cold approach a woman you never talked to before in a place like the gym or the grocery store, regardless of what you look like, the chances that she's in the mood to chat with a complete stranger at that exact moment is really low.
"I bet if I could have beamed some of my failed approach experiences into her head and made her understand what that felt like"
Yeah, that would dry her up even more. Do you think she has low interest in you now? Beam that shit into her head and you will feel like a leper
I dated a guy that told me he never approached women to date outside dating apps.
It didnt bother me. We went on several dates and started seeing eachother seriously. Then he suddenly dumped me in a text message cause he decided he didnt like me anymore after a week of avoiding me.
Smh.. thats why she was disappointed. Its a red flag that you don't communicate very well. So next time you shouldn't tell your date things like that if you want them to stay around.
Cause I know for myself from this point on, if a guy were to ever say that again, I would lose interest as well.
We dated for 2 months and then all I got was a "its not you its me" type of text message and I never heard from him again.
I could understand someone ghosting me cause I was a shitty person. But as far as I knew everything was fine until it wasnt.
To add to your commentary about about the environment being aggressive. Alot of times when a club is crowded, where people are pushed up against each other, I have been literally molested. I've had random hands grab my chest and try to put hands down my shirt, people grabbing between my legs, trying to put their hands down my pants, a friend of mine even had somebody stick their finger inside of her when she wore a dress. The scary part is these people will be reaching past three or four bodies to get to the girl they're targeting, so it's really hard to identify who it was. After watching that happen to other women, I have seen the men doing it approach the same girls they violated. So a lot of times if I have been grabbed like that during the night it ruins the chances of anybody approaching because from what I have seen, they may very well be the deviant one. If a woman has any sort of SA trauma and they get groped,she's going to be hostile for the rest of the night.
this is why i never go to clubs. seriously it's not even fun. if i really want to drink and have fun it's going to be at a girlfriends house or mine.
As a guy even I don’t like bars/clubs, just to many dude bros and frat boy types and the entitled and sometimes rude women just really isn’t my scene, so I go to speak easys or like a brewery, just much better people in general and you can still get drunk
Men are doing this new thing where they tell you, "hey, you look beautiful and I hope you enjoy your day" and then they kind of run away. I have male friends that had to explain what the hell that was. I call it the run away compliment.
I am a classically handsome man who gets approached by women regularly.. . approaching women is quite possibly the most nerve wracking thing I've ever experienced in my life and I've been seconds from death a number of times. Women will never(at least any time soon at all) truly understand the risk and nervousness approaching a woman entails and its much much more than just rejection
One thing both sexes have to get is this; neither will ever come to fully understand or empathise with the anxieties that come with otherwise banal activities for both sexes.
This is why more often than not I believe that aside from licensed psychologists and therapists, each sex has to stop making sweeping statements about the behaviours of the other sex because they'll often get it wrong simply based on perspective
@@xelaander8429 absolutely
Getting tased was the absolute most painful thing I've ever gone through in my life. I was barely nervous for it. Approaching women out of the blue to talk to them is quite literally dozens of times more nerve wracking for me, even though I've never once had a truly negative experience doing it. The guys who do that effortlessly are either hyper confident (probably hyper arrogant), or psychopaths who literally lack the ability to feel fear. One time years ago, I got so nervous just telling a girl at Walmart that she was cute, that I ended up pulling some sort of abdominal/gut muscle. And that's coming from someone who's generally regarded as very good looking
"A classically handsome man"
@@tylerholmes8453 Are you the same guy as the OP?
Fear of rejection is a real thing for men, especially when u see a dude better looking than u get rejected, so u stop taking chances, which is why most girls who've been in my life were the ones to approach me first lol.
Real talk: I’m white, ginger, and 5”6, the only times I’ve approached women prior to meeting my partner, was either:
A) I was doing it as a joke - knowing full well what response I would get, so me and the guys could have a laugh about it.
Or B) I already knew them.
This woman Michelle and others like her are drinking from tainted rivers or something fr
They are lying. The best data on race and attraction is the 2014 data from all online dating platforms at the time. This data is the best because it two things one it was released before people were loosing their minds over dating and culture war bullshit and two it was released before the bots took over those apps. So it's the best data we ever gonna get on those apps and it's true. Black women and Asian men as far as attraction goes they are at the bottom of the list. And alot of black women know this. They can test it themselves . Make a profile of a good looking black woman then make a profile of a average or below average white women or Latina or Asian and see for yourself who gets more matches and interactions. You'll see it play out real time. You can't self esteem yourself out of reality
listen as a short man myself ill tell you : have more confidence , if you look confident and look unbothered by short comments , they will start to not even care that much
@@danielisaac7586 this comment was so useless
@@danielisaac7586 what does this have to do with anything? Also, a "study" from one dating app, back in 2014, is representative of the dating market whether it be in person or across an array of dating apps in 2023? Yeah, I'm gonna guess not.
@@danielisaac7586 Matches from who, white men? most people are attracted to their own race, cut it out.
My analogy for the past 12+ years: Imagine someone dying in a desert having a conversation with someone drowning in a lake. Neither one can possibly understand why the other person is suffering or what theyre going through.
I actually got approached at the gym the other day a guy kinda my age asked for my name called me attractive and asked for my number. I was flattered and appreciative and honestly it was kind of him. We held a conversation and i asked his age. Unfortunately he was 4 years younger and i had to turn him away since i felt 18 was too young, but i made sure to thank him and tell him i was flattered and finally apologized before saying bye.
I was impressed he put himself out there because i had been watching videos about these topics where guys feel afraid to approach girls. I don’t have much advice to give but there are girls out there who recognize your effort.
I assure you such a behaviour as yours is seen as .... how to say it .... mature,polite, respectable or honourable. Men always come off with respect/admiration for you even after rejection, if you behave that way. Thanks for not being rude.
Being 22 and rejecting a guy for being 18 is kinda sus...
@@SemiDoge it’s weird and predatory to be 22 romantically involved with an 18 year old. Basically someone who’s graduating college with a high schooler…
@Athena Salomons No, it is not, especially when it's the woman that is older. What you're saying is such bullshit.
@@athenasalomons5847 The lower age threshold is usually considered half your own age plus seven.
22 year old with an 18 year old checks out.
I have a BIG source of confidence to talk to women but my problem is the amount of women ai dated that were outright narcissistic, crazy or selfish. Every single girl I dated or have fooled around with have a very, VERY distorted sense of morality or lack of empathy. I actually HATE dating because of how much time I lose when dealing with someone that literally sucks.
@MikeProductions1000 The hot/crazy matrix is real. In my dating experience, all the hot or in shape ones were crazy and narcissistic, while the barely attractive enough to date ones were truly good people. Rolling single because I haven't been able to find a good woman that was attractive enough to wake up to long term that also treated me well and appreciated what I did for her. Maybe that sounds bad, but after all I've been through to become moderately successful, I need to be able to wake up, look over at her and not feel depressed.
@@djangomarine6658 🤣🤣 Blackpilled hard i felt that
@MikeProductions1000 Like Django said, it's just that a lot of attractive women ARE crazy or mentally screwed. I disagree on the not so attractive women though because the fat ones are way, WAY worse.
Yeah, I mostly don't bother with women not because am too shy but because is too much of a hassle. They consume your life and need attention all the time.
It feels that you become a glorified babysitter that instead of getting payed, it pays for everything just so you can get a little bodily affection and tenderness.
@@doublestarships646 The fat ones become like that because they are unhappy with themselves (who feels nice when it can't even climb a set of stairs) and they feel that they are undesirable and they lash out their frustrations any way they can.
A man would rather go with an ugly woman that has a half decent body than with a fat chick. They feel this, they feel how bad their situation is and they are frustrated as hell.
I have a wife but man the amount of times I got turned down. Whew i got tired and took break a few days or weeks because my mental health couldn’t take all these rejections.
My wife is my first so technically I don't know what its like getting turned down. I hate talking to people. At least you had the guts to ask lol.
@@Brandon-tz5pn trust me. It’s a numbers game. I have been rejected a lot in my life because I did like to get laid as much as I can. Lol. But sometimes my ego will go down in the tubes because of the rejection.
Ive approached women a handful of times. And everytime the have said no to me. Either end up ghosting me or rejecting me extremely harshly. I'm honestly not motivated to find someone women can be so cruel sometimes man. Like I understand if u just say no but they have to go overboard with like damn I heard u the first time.
@@lazysnorlax3015 trust me. I got ghosted before but you know what fuck them and move on to the next. As men we need to be strong and not let these rejections keep us down. Maybe it is a you problem and u need to work on that. But we can’t let life keep us down. We gotta work to resolve it.
For me it's not feeling shame or embarassment because I know I'm not being rejected because I suck I'm being rejected because women are picky. It's the opportunity cost that makes it discouraging. Approaching (in person or online either way) is like going onto a fishing boat to catch fish. If you catch fish quickly hell you will get on the boat every day and have a feast. But if you get on that boat about 3 sessions in a row without even a bite on the line you start to miss what you did not do because you were on that boat. This is particularly true for cold approaching or social circle game where its not time efficient like online dating.
I see this as a good thing. Men should be more picky about who they approach, and should really do so more in social settings. Like a party, bbq, happy hour, kickball etc. Both people should find each other attractive and engage. "Chasing" women is not the way to go.
“The ones who gets b-tches, Preach. The one who gets more b-tches, Aba.”
😂😂😂😂 congrats on 2 Mil