I’m so sorry that you have experienced such pain in moments that should have been beautiful. Thank you for sharing, you are an incredibly admirable & powerful person!
Hi how old were you that time when you gave birth to you child in car ? I just had c section . Just want to figure out how much gap should I have to try next vbac ?
Fantastic talk! My first birth was at a birthing centre and it was just me and my husband labouring with no intervention, the staff occasionally came in to check my blood pressure and the baby's heart rate, and then I birthed my own baby in the watertub and the staff cut the cord and delivered my placenta. I delivered my own baby with my own power and strength and had an emotional high and sense of empowerment for months. No baby blues or depression at all! I was so proud of myself! This time (8 weeks pregnant!) I'm planning a home water birth with my husband at my side again and one midwife. I'll do all the labouring and delivering again myself. I'm a strong woman and my body and baby know what to do without any help! I need my husband and midwife for their emotional support and back massage, but I'll be doing it all myself :) Women you are strong and can birth your babies the way you want! Birth is hard but it isn't scary!
As a Childbirth Educator and previously a Doula and an apprentice Midwife, I'm so grateful to Ashley for putting out this information in such a compelling way! I will show this video in my Birth Classes - everyone needs to hear this!
My mother delivered me on her own, entirely unassisted. It wasn't intended, but I am so glad it happened that day. No drugs, no hospital, no germs, no unnecessary procedures, and no people around to tell her what to do. I am so grateful.
Im 35 weeks now and do plan on having her in the hospital. However, as a RN I know exactly what I can and cant do. Odds are my nurses will hate me but thats not really my problem to be honest, its theres. Don't let the idea of a rude nurse or doctor deter you from a hospital birth if thats your best option. These people work for you while your under there care and a lot of people dont even know that what you say, goes. Your allowed to tell that nurse to get out of your room, your allowed to tell that doctor to fix his attitude.
See and that's one of the biggest problems today...people don't even know their rights. And honestly, usually when people do know their rights, they're especially treated differently, almost as if the doctor is mad that they know so much. I think it's intimidating for a lot of health professionals. I hear parents say all the time "we only vaccinated our kids because we didnt have a choice..." "they HAD to have them to go to school" "our doctor told us they'd report us to CPS if we didnt vaccinate our newborn" ...it's nothing short of bullying. and it's a shame bc its systemic and it does give the people with integrity and transparency a bad rap. And it sets a precedence for the workers in the medical industry to go along with the corruption because it's become such normalcy unfortunately.
I wish I would have known that at 18. Rude nurses pestering me with questions about whether or not I had herpes from medication for a cold sore during my expansions, and a doctor whom I had never met saying to me after I had my placenta " you need to get some birth control so that this doesn't happen again."
As a nurse, the hospital is a safe place to us. We feel comfortable there and it’s not overwhelming. To a lot of people a hospital is an overwhelming place. It’s an unknown place. They are told the doctor knows what is best (us nurses know that isn’t the case). I’ve known nurses who were too afraid to speak up tot he doctors or their co-workers. That is why these types of people really need a doula. They need someone who isn’t afraid to speak up. If someone truly needs a hospital birth then they should be in the hospital but most births don’t need that level of care.
Gave birth to my last baby at home alone. Best decision ever! Everyone always asks if my husband delivered the baby, and I say “No, I delivered my own baby” They are always shook 😅
The hospital I had my son at was very supportive of natural methods. You know who ended up being my worst enemies during childbirth? The family members that absolutely wouldn't leave me be or support my decisions for natural birth. I ended up with an epidural after 14 hours because I simply couldn't handle the pain because they wouldn't LET me handle the pain. And then I had an emergency c-section. I learned a hard lesson in advocating for myself during of all of that. I wish I'd had a doula then. They are not only amazing for advocating for you to your medical team, but to the uneducated people in your life as well.
Had the same experience with my first daughter. I recently had my second at home naturally and it was the most healing experience.. If I could give any advice is don't have anyone there who isn't helpful and just giving pure love and support..
That and lack of support cuz husband s don't want to help with the newborn do you wind up awake every 2 hrs for every feeding while you recover from the most trauma your nether regions can ever go through
Luckily I was able to have a natural child birth in my hospital. But I agree with the “helicopter nurses” saying you can’t do this or don’t do that. I was pissed after delivering my third child, two nurses got upset at me for walking my newborn (to help soothe her and calm her down) because I could “faint” and “drop my baby”. How? It had been over 24 hours after delivering and I had no epidural and was eating fine and had my IV fluids. Why couldn’t I walk my baby??? 😠
I didn't get to see my kids because i had them all by C-section until like 4 or 5 hours later it was crazy and i hated it.... I had people that was my support and the baby's father so I should have gotten to bond with my child right away!
I feel strongly that we really lost touch with ourselves these days... Men and women are so wound up they are not practicing self-care, have no idea about the importance of boundaries - we literally have no love for ourselves and therefore for each other. It has got to stop, we have got to stop and ask ourselves the right questions: How am I feeling about this? What is it that I really need right now?... Who delivers the baby? We need to constantly ask ourselves important questions and come up with different, genuine, more real answers. We need to get in touch with ourselves and to get in touch with each other. AGAIN. Now...
Thank you Ashley! This is very timely for me as I am due with my first baby in 6 weeks and recently decided to birth at home with a mid-wife. There is a long way to go and much education that must happen before we may see a culture shift away from the medical model to an evidence-based model, but your talk is pushing it along. Keep up the great work! xo
I was to birth my son at home this past November and after 24 hours of hard labor I could no longer do it. I ended up going to the hospital and the doctor forced me into a c section basically. My doula and midwife were amazing. My natural birth experience was amazing but then turned sour. I would do the homebirth experience all over again. I urge all women to birth your babies at home if you have no serious complications. It such a beautiful experience with the right women by your side.
Thank you so much for this. As a Hypnotherapist offering Hypnobirthing it's so good to hear you talking about this topic. in the UK things are less medically intrusive and Midwives are brilliant. ......bit we still have some improvements to be made. I love empowering families to birth in the way they instinctively want to but I can only cover Sussex and Hampshire but thankfully there are others out there helping women in other areas.
Thank you Ashley for a wonderful TED talk! So happy to hear you mention meditation as a tool for labor. Simple mindfulness techniques improve mom's focus, reduce pain and changes the brain in areas that support positive mood.
I had my first in a natural hospital birth. My second was an unexpected home delivery with just my husband and my 2 yr old. My third at a large hospital birth center. My fourth at a small two room birth center with very hands off midwives. My easiest delivery by far was the second surprise birth at home. *Natural Birth and nursing a child is the most empowering thing in human life*
@NippleTwister3000 First, have you given birth naturally and exclusively breastfed a child of your own? If you have, what other experience have you had that was more empowering? If you haven't....how do you know?
so much of this is true! i never knew of many of these things till after i had my daughter. its true it's all a monopoly, but in the end mother and child suffer. i was in labor 19hrs got an epidural (also had patocin not exactly sure at what point but it was for a while.) and ended in c-section @25 hours. i was really down on myself at first but now im so proud! my daughter had a true knot which became a risk so we are glad but i always wished to experience natural childbirth, it was extremely difficult. also the dr. made me sign papers stating i wouldnt be able to birth any other children natural once c-section so that was hard too, because it made it that more real that I'll never experience natural childbirth. this was very inspirational !!
A Dr. has no legal right to 'make' you have future caesareans, regardless of what you have signed. I urge you to become educated in birth and VBAC, obtain your hospital records and gain the support of knowledgeable care providers in future.
The Art of the Home I agree with you re the doctor not being able to do that however I suspect that those papers were a waiver that said that should she continue to receive care from that doctor they are the terms on which he provides care. Ie she/he is refusing to provide care to the woman on terms against his advice. VBAC is a great option for many woman however I suspect many women do not know about it
Thankfully a lot more children are born at home or naturally in the hospital in the Netherlands. I was born at home myself, and plan on trying to give birth at home myself when I can finally get pregnant! No laying down for me!
Dear one, please DO a home birth , do not TRY a home birth...set everything clear to DO a homebirth and see this clearly, with some hypnobirthing as well! Know everything necessary in case of any other way, yet know that this way will not be yours! Know that you have a voice! and use it. Sending lots of Love and Trust your way!
I started my first birth at home but was later moved to the hospital for safety. Still had a great birthing experience there! Delivered my second at home in my birthing pool hands-off with my midwife in the room. Both my births were great and I believe doing the hypnobirthing course really helped me find my strength in saying no to certain medical standardized practices. I hope you will have your amazing birth at some point :)
I had both of my babies at home with CPM's and it was the most powerful and wonderful experience. I'm thankful for hospitals in an emergency, but home is the place for birth for me. You can do it!
@NippleTwister3000 What about the hospital infection rates. Are they any better? We have a very low mother or infant mortality rate in the Netherlands. Even with all the home births.
I’m very happy I gave birth in a hospital. I didn’t have an epidural, I stayed only in physiological positions to have a quick labour, all went great and really fast until my son got stuck in my pelvis. He had his hand in front of his face and he got stuck. His heart rate started to decelerate with every contraction, he was in acidosis, so I was very happy to get help from the gynecologist. In the end all that matters is to have a healthy baby and mother.
Thank you so much! We need to start a hashtag #ideliveredmybaby
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Had 2 perfect childbirths. When my son was born, I was alone lying on a bed for monitoring for like 10 minutes. Went from 6 to 9 in that time lapse, boyfriend parking the car ... yelling my soul out. Worst 10 minutes of my life. Most painful and most lonely minutes ever.
My first child was born due to induction because I had preeclampsia. I was not able to walk around due to health issues and I understood, but it still affected me in a lot of ways. With my next child, that’s due in a few weeks, I want to be able to walk around more and not give birth laying down. I want to do what feels natural
Power to you, I had all my babies in the hospital. No regrets. 3 of my 4 children would have died otherwise. The last pregnantncy I would have bled out.
It's really, really important for these women to remember that things can go very wrong, very quickly, and they need to have a phone on hand and someone ready to call 911 should anything not go as planned. Sure, it's nice and empowering to have your baby at home, but it's never worth a risk to your life or your child's life. The moment you feel something might be wrong, call the doctor.
About to give birth to my second baby using natural methods and no medicinal pain relief. It is truly a wonderful experience. So happy to be the 1000th like.
I recently read a quote along the lines of "Besides childbirth, what other extremely painful and possibly traumatic to the body process do we expect people to go through without some kind of medicinal pain relief?" and I can't get it out of my head. Yes, birthing parents should be entitled to make their own choices, and if they're not comfortable in a hospital setting I get it, but this trend in certain circles of trying to talk women out of using epidurals is ridiculous. Just because you CAN birth a baby without one doesn't mean you should have to. If you expect to be respected for choosing an unmedicated birth (and you should be! that's fair!) you have to respect epidurals too.
badooney I agree, I have many doctors in my family and unfortunately a lot of women are confused or have false information about epidurals. It actually can benefit u to have one vs not having one
I agree with you, as far as the pain goes. But remember that an epidural does not just relieve pain. It paralyzes the woman from the waist down, and makes her completely unable to move or aid in the laboring process. Sure, the pain is gone, but the labor almost always comes to a halt, because in order for it to progress, mom needs to remain as mobile as possible, to help the baby keep moving downwards into the pelvis. I had an epidural during my labor. It wore off before the actual delivery, so I experienced a natural birth as well. While not being in pain is nice, it prolonged my labor by hours and hours. If I knew then what I know now, I would've stayed up on my feet, out of the bed, moving around, and listened to my body's cues of when to push, when to move, when to rest, etc. Assuming that mom and baby are healthy and without complications, a woman's body knows exactly what to do to get that baby out, and we really need to keep moving towards labor and delivery care that recognizes and supports this.
Why is it painful a traumatic?? It’s a natural process. It’s painful and traumatic because of the inductions, the pitocin, the disruptions and stressors and providers making the laboring woman feel unsafe. An epidural is NOT healthy for the baby, so while I’m not going to tell anyone she is wrong for choosing an epidural, I absolutely want to educate her on how to avoid an epidural and what harm it causes to the baby.
Sounds like an opportunity for new business: A Women's Building or Birthing Centers for Women that practice what she suggests. Medical professionals could be staffed round-the-clock staffed to assist birthing emergencies. I am picturing a birthing resort, where women can admit themselves up to a week before their due date to meditate, exercise, bond with their spouse and anticipated baby. Hotel style birthing rooms with large bathtubs, a common river lap pool, and an outdoor park-like setting. This style of "birthing hospital" could compete with hospitals, because there is a demand for natural births where mothers are in control of their birthing experience.
I personally would rather just see all maternity wards in hospitals "revamp" into birthing centers, that way medical intervention is there if necessary or emergency related.
In the Netherlands we actually have something like that. There are birthing hotels where you go once labour starts. These can have birthing baths (if desired), and the rooms are more homelike than a hospital and are designed for being a nice environment (not clinical). It is a step in between a home birth and a hospital birth. They have close connections and are close to hospitals in case you need medical assistance. They also let the parents stay longer after the birth and teach the basics of caring for a newborn, such as breastfeeding specialists. They provide 24hour service and care to give peace and guidance to the parents (and baby). Really a great option. I’m sure this actually is a good business opportunity, it works here so why not in other places.
it's not in the us only i live in the UK and i was tied in a bed for more than 30 hours i was forbidden to eat and move i wished i was dea, ended up haaving c-section and when i had the baby no one has come to me to help i tried to get crying baby coz one is there to help i injured myself with catheter it was horrible i felt like suing the hospital but i just forgive them.
Hi. Im an RN and I have a hard time believing you were tied to your bed. The only way thats possible is if you had warrants and were going to jail right after the child birth or you were threatening to hurt yourself, the baby or staff members.
Alternatives to the routine use of an epidural. HA. Come say that here in Italy, where a lot of hospitals are against the use of epidural, because tradition says you have to suffer, and if you don't suffer enough you won't be really attached to your baby, "you took the easy way out"... Hooray for epidural, when needed... (WHEN NEEDED, not in every single case). Needless to say that I agree with your point of view on childbirth, women SHOULD be empowered, and have choices.
That's what she is saying in some countries she is forced to take epidural, in some countries she is forced to not ask for epidural, in some countries she is directly forced to caeserean But in no country she is asked " These are various options that are available. What do u feel is most convinient way or option for u to deliver ur baby?"
I was a labor & delivery nurse 40 years & heard the statement thousands of times"I can't do this" or "Get it out" " I want my epidermal" I spelled this wrong because many say it that way. In a low risk pregnancy a doula may help but sometimes they exert their opinions when we, as the medical staff, know what to do. I support them to a point & any birth that has an outcome of healthy mom & healthy babies successful. PP depression is very, very serious & needs to be addressed with professionals.
Autumn Grace I’m not sure what L& D staff you worked with. Their attitude may be because they sense how u feel about them. I have always asked my patients what their wants needs and expectations are. I’ve had doulas answer for them. I find this unacceptable. L and D nurses are highly trained yet we want to labor and deliver a patient with as little intervention as possible. Technology has its place and can become an essential lifesaver. I’ve found jealousy with doulas and when we have to rush a patient back for a STAT c/s for a prolapsed cord ruptured uterus fetal distress I couldn’t care less how the doulas feel. This is when technology training experience and instinct save lives. Like I said low risk but even that can turn into a disaster. That’s why people like me are there.
You are the one making assumptions by referencing the "era" I come from. I've taught nursing till very recently & I have 2 masters degrees. First in Maternal/Child Health & the second in Biomedical Ethics. I was the first advanced trained RN to approve a Midwifery trial at the level 1 hospital where I work. This program has been very successful & is popular with primips & less popular with multips. There is a place for alternative pain measures & a cheerleader to help the process but don't knock & demean the people you need there in an emergency. I was a strong proponent for home births until undiagnosed twins, both frank breech died. You don't listen because you have nothing to lose. I have a license & more responsibility than you could ever know.
I would refer a PP depressed patient to a well trained expert. Why not share your profession? You're so certain your view is superior than mine. I am also the mother of quadruplets born in 1980, three survived. I had a NSVD. I'm also an ordained minister. You ........
If it wasn't so unaffordable there would be far more women utilizing this necessary service for Western society and parenting in isolation. No extended family and/or social support around them (and I mean physical support).
AT M Gosh this is so true! I qualify for Medicaid but no midwife or doula can accept it in my state! so my option is a FREE hospital birth or a couple thousand dollars out of pocket that I just absolutely do not have. plus midwives are like a secret society In my area. Almost impossible to find one.
+T J. look for the local Doula Association in your area, or where they are trained. You may ask your Child birth educator about information you're wanting. What state are residing? I hope this helps *
C Knowles thank you! I wish I had saw this previously! I gave birth a week ago today! at a hospital. but this experience was much better than the others I had. the nurses and doctors were so kind this go around. maybe they know they're losing business!
i was my mom most difficult birth it was 1985, she was in labor for 3 days because dr at the hospital were idiots. she has a disability: spina bifida and was unable to do a natural birth. They made her try to push me out, didn't work. They tried forceps and pull me out, didn't work. They ended up doing a c-section, and die to the forceps i had bruises on my temples. they even refused to let her see me as well, and she heard me cry at the nursery. the nurses said no, you hearing things but then she marched down to it, and sure enough i was crying. I was a too well behaved child and pretty much slept at night with out fuss only waking up for food. i wasn't a misbehaving toddler either. come to find out I have autism. I had a cousin on my step dad side who had a baby with out help, the dr and nurses forgot about her. her mom was pissed as anything could happen. :/
I absolutely did, lol. I said, "I don't know how much longer I can do this" and the nurse said, "As long as you have to, and not a minute longer". It sounded unkind and harsh at the time, but looking back, I know she meant well!
kim Did you find someone? Someone who trusts in birth... Main thing is that you do. We have been doing this for such a long time. hypnobirthing is great too na dknowing you have a voice and you use it to speak up for your rights and those of the baby!
Writing frpm bf account. In Sweden where I live it is worse than the US, before I became pregnant I thought I knew so much about giving birth and how it should be done. As soon as I became pregnant I started listening to my body, I know I can give birth without any pain relief other than water and the comport of my husband. Ofc in a hospital but noone is gonna tell me to do anything, I will be standing or in a low squat position and my body will do the rest. All that has ever lived has been born so why shouldnt every woman be able to give birth her own way? When animals give birth at the absolute beginning of life they stand. My mother is a specialist in medicine and I know more about medicine than many others, taking a epi and other things weaken the muscles and make you more prone to break so be brave and go without!
I LIVE IN CALEXICO, CALIFORNIA, I PLEDGE YOU NOT STOP, THIS IS AMAZING, THERE IS A WOMAN TALKING ABOUT THE TRUE ABOUT GIVING BIRTH, IT'S NOT EASY WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG FIRST CHILD, AND YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE, IS SPANISH, IN A COUNTRY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE, EVERTYTHING ABOUT DRUGS ITS TRUE ON MY FIRST CHILD , I COULDN'T RELAX, EVERYONE WAS ON ME, MEDICINE, NURSES, DOCTORS, SO, I GET A C=SECTION , REALLY HARD, I GET A TWO BAGS OF BLOOD, WELL AT LESS I AM A LIVE NOW, PLEASE WOMAN BE EMPHATIE WITH YOUR SISTERS ;)
hospitals are for sick people. if you go there you ave to make it effectively for the hospital stuff. if you don´t have a high risk for complications don´t go there.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if doulas were covered under medical insurance as professionals offering services? Seems like doctors don’t want anyone taking their jobs. Because more doulas equals less c sections.
In the past maternal and baby death rates were extremely high, so very often a woman's body does not really "know", as she says. I prefer not to take that risk and trust the professionals...
Death rates have never been "extremely high", if this had been true then human race would not have taken over the planet as it did. The deaths that occurred during childbirth were because of specific reasons which are now well known and are classified as high-risk pregnancies like pre-eclampsia, Placenta previa or a transverse baby. Such cases are dealt with accordingly and today very few death occur because of these reasons. On the other hand many fetal deaths and complications are now caused because of unnecessary medical interventions which are forced on the mother by fear mongering.
I really don't understand this hate of medical professionals being involved in birth! Yes, it was annoying when once I was called a patient, because I wasn't ill, I was pregnant, but my water broke at 34 weeks and 4 days and found out my baby was breech. A week later I started having contractions and had to have an emergency C-Section because my baby's hand was poking through my cervix. Trying a natural birth in that situation would have been a horrible idea! Even the section was a bit tricky and they had some trouble getting his head out. Yes, 100 years ago women gave birth with little support. How many of them died during child birth? How many babies died? I don't feel less confident in taking care of Alex because doctors delivered my baby! Why not use experts? That's what they're there for! Let people more experienced than me and more educated me what to do! I've had years of experience in only following what advice I thought sensible, but nurses, doctors and midwives might tell me something I hadn't thought of. Maybe we should just educate women to be stronger and let themselves be pushed around. As for the bad experiences with medical professionals, I'm really sorry they happened, but I'm convinced that there are more bad experiences at home. And for the record, in a natural birth I'd say the mother delivered the baby, the medical staff helped. And why do vets help deliver baby cows and stuff? Also, if I came across an elephant giving birth, I'd stay back because I have no idea what should be done, but the same is true in the case of a woman. In both cases I'd call for help.
If you don't understand it, then ask someone who feels that way and genuinely listen without your own input. Listen empathically and reflectively and leave your own experience out of it. You say you are already convinced things are worse at home. Are you willing to let that go just long enough to find out if it's really true?
a breech birth at 34 weeks is not a candidate for homebirth. Your situation is not typical. Vets very rarely deliver calves, the cow does it on her own. My own uncomplicated labor was rife with orders being barked at me, cervical exams that I didn't need, by hurried hands. My body was not my own, it belonged to the system that I allowed myself to become a part of. A horrific and degrading experience that I will not be repeating with my next child.
I almost died during labor after the first hospital tried to FORCE a natural birth and refused to admit me. The second hospital only admitted me because I'd given them a run down of everything I'd done at home and threatened to go labor on the floor of the ER until they agreed to help. So I get that the hospital isn't for everyone but I DON'T see why shaming women who use them makes one feel superior or better bonded with their child. If you can't bond with your baby because the doctors did their jobs in a way you didn't like then I'm sorry but that's something THEY did wrong. Nobody makes you go to the hospital, you chose to because some part of you recognized that they probably knew more than you did about how to deliver babies. Also, very few things are set in stone even hospital administration has wiggle room so standing up for yourself was an option you chose not to utilize. Women receiving an EXCESS of medical care could cause problems. It could cause traumatic memories and stress. But a lack of medical care for the women who need it absolutely WILL cause trauma and injury. And likely put both lives in jeopardy. From one woman with traumatic birth experience to another, please don't go from one extreme to the other, find a happy medium. Cuz your labor was awful yes but it wasn't likely to kill you being made to stay in the hospital. But being denied access to the hospital because people keep advertising all natural, non gmo, gluten free birth as the best way to go nearly did lose me mine.I get the appeal of natural I really do but you should encourage the benefit of it without telling people that the hospital is a death chamber full of sadistic control freaks in white coats. The maternal and infant mortality rates do not decrease with home births.
Even though she means well, she says at the beginning that she is not a medical doctor. Take note. Here overriding theme is that childbirth is over medicalised, and that we interfere too much. This might be true, but nature isn't always right. If you want too see why childbirth has been medicalised, you need to look at the rates of mother and infant mortality before modern medicine. Around 1 in 5 women died during childbirth before this time. That doesn't even cover the millions of women who had to live with agony or medical complications because they didn't have the modern medicine, pain relief and tools that we have today. So high was the risk, that when women got pregnant they did so under the understand that they might well die. Nature is not perfect, so her using the elephant comparison is ridiculous. An elephant is designed differently for one thing. Humans need a higher rate of care because of the way our pelvises have developed from evolution. People would do well to remember this.
Arti science respectfully disagrees with you. Please do some research. Also I'd like a link to your "1 in 5 women died of childbirth" stat. Read some of Ina May Gaskin's science-based books as well as other science-based books with peer-reviewed research on obstetrics. There are many myths that have long been debunked but unfortunately are still circulated among doctors in this field, some of which are around from the 1900s. Likely the women who died in childbirth historically died of negligence, as the male doctors who accepted this long-held belief that women "naturally die in childbirth" thus were not as concerned for her well-being once the child was born. Ina May quotes a maternal mortality rate in her book that is closer to 1 in 1,000 and most of those could have been prevented with less interventions and more education for the birthing mothers. There will always be a portion of mothers and babies who, despite all precautionary measures, will die in childbirth because that is Mother nature's way. However, it is both illogical and unethical to apply the worst-case scenario to all normal people in other areas of life, yet for some reason we do with pregnant and labouring mothers. Assume that most women will do just fine in pregnancy and labor with the right diet, health, good stress management, education and support system and only once complications arise should the very minimum amount of interventions take place. That is where we should be headed in 2019.
I went to a birthing center even if my insurance wouldn't cover it they make it more affordable then a hospital even with insurance. .. I want a water birth and they have regular check ups and more programs for my over all health and my husbands . I knew from the beginning I didn't want to deliver in the hospital.
@@chatgpt4135 mine was a midwifery , but essentially paid for appointments, sonograms , gave me advice, an emergency line for me to text and if natural birth didn't work scheduled a room in the midwife section of the hospital.. everyone you meet essentially is helping you give birth . It's an awesome service and they didn't check me vaginally or touch my stomach without my consent which was what I heard is a big problem in doctors offices . They even came to my house and gave me a sonogram to ensure the baby still had a heart beat . Far cheaper then a doctors office too . 16,000 dollars is to provide pregnancy care , birth and checking in. That's with insurance paying for most of it and they tell you up front , even provide classes but those cost extra then the standard care
Africa has their kids in hospitals because they are not quite as poor as you imagine them to be and secondly, those who don't have a much MUCH higher rate of both child and mother of dying when giving birth.
If you have a good midwife, why bother paying an additional person? huh? Shop around for a midwife and save your money, stay at home and your midwife gives u full attention. (call the hospital and let them know you are in labor and if anything goes sideways --heads up on where you live, ect.--we timed route to closest hospital and it was 15 min away. All went well, but was nice to have a solid plan B, just in case) Wouldn't have changed a thing, home was the best place for us.
Ya let’s go back to the days where women bleed out at home, babies die of preventable group b strep infections, and when something goes wrong there’s no trained medical help. Sounds good.
After having 3 traumatic hospital births I gave birth to my 4th child alone in my car (was not on purpose) and it was the best delivery😁
I’m so sorry that you have experienced such pain in moments that should have been beautiful. Thank you for sharing, you are an incredibly admirable & powerful person!
Yes this touched me!
That is so amazing and so eye opening!! Thank you so much for sharing!! You are such an incredible mama!!
Hi how old were you that time when you gave birth to you child in car ? I just had c section . Just want to figure out how much gap should I have to try next vbac ?
Fantastic talk! My first birth was at a birthing centre and it was just me and my husband labouring with no intervention, the staff occasionally came in to check my blood pressure and the baby's heart rate, and then I birthed my own baby in the watertub and the staff cut the cord and delivered my placenta. I delivered my own baby with my own power and strength and had an emotional high and sense of empowerment for months. No baby blues or depression at all! I was so proud of myself!
This time (8 weeks pregnant!) I'm planning a home water birth with my husband at my side again and one midwife. I'll do all the labouring and delivering again myself. I'm a strong woman and my body and baby know what to do without any help! I need my husband and midwife for their emotional support and back massage, but I'll be doing it all myself :)
Women you are strong and can birth your babies the way you want! Birth is hard but it isn't scary!
You are so awesome!
As a Childbirth Educator and previously a Doula and an apprentice Midwife, I'm so grateful to Ashley for putting out this information in such a compelling way! I will show this video in my Birth Classes - everyone needs to hear this!
My mother delivered me on her own, entirely unassisted. It wasn't intended, but I am so glad it happened that day. No drugs, no hospital, no germs, no unnecessary procedures, and no people around to tell her what to do. I am so grateful.
Im 35 weeks now and do plan on having her in the hospital. However, as a RN I know exactly what I can and cant do. Odds are my nurses will hate me but thats not really my problem to be honest, its theres. Don't let the idea of a rude nurse or doctor deter you from a hospital birth if thats your best option. These people work for you while your under there care and a lot of people dont even know that what you say, goes. Your allowed to tell that nurse to get out of your room, your allowed to tell that doctor to fix his attitude.
See and that's one of the biggest problems today...people don't even know their rights. And honestly, usually when people do know their rights, they're especially treated differently, almost as if the doctor is mad that they know so much. I think it's intimidating for a lot of health professionals. I hear parents say all the time "we only vaccinated our kids because we didnt have a choice..." "they HAD to have them to go to school" "our doctor told us they'd report us to CPS if we didnt vaccinate our newborn" ...it's nothing short of bullying. and it's a shame bc its systemic and it does give the people with integrity and transparency a bad rap. And it sets a precedence for the workers in the medical industry to go along with the corruption because it's become such normalcy unfortunately.
Exactly! We have to be assertive!
Not easy for everyone to be assertive especially in those environments
I wish I would have known that at 18. Rude nurses pestering me with questions about whether or not I had herpes from medication for a cold sore during my expansions, and a doctor whom I had never met saying to me after I had my placenta " you need to get some birth control so that this doesn't happen again."
As a nurse, the hospital is a safe place to us. We feel comfortable there and it’s not overwhelming. To a lot of people a hospital is an overwhelming place. It’s an unknown place. They are told the doctor knows what is best (us nurses know that isn’t the case). I’ve known nurses who were too afraid to speak up tot he doctors or their co-workers. That is why these types of people really need a doula. They need someone who isn’t afraid to speak up. If someone truly needs a hospital birth then they should be in the hospital but most births don’t need that level of care.
Gave birth to my last baby at home alone. Best decision ever! Everyone always asks if my husband delivered the baby, and I say “No, I delivered my own baby” They are always shook 😅
The hospital I had my son at was very supportive of natural methods. You know who ended up being my worst enemies during childbirth? The family members that absolutely wouldn't leave me be or support my decisions for natural birth. I ended up with an epidural after 14 hours because I simply couldn't handle the pain because they wouldn't LET me handle the pain. And then I had an emergency c-section. I learned a hard lesson in advocating for myself during of all of that. I wish I'd had a doula then. They are not only amazing for advocating for you to your medical team, but to the uneducated people in your life as well.
Had the same experience with my first daughter. I recently had my second at home naturally and it was the most healing experience.. If I could give any advice is don't have anyone there who isn't helpful and just giving pure love and support..
I wonder if post partum depression is actually post traumatic stress, brought on by obstetrical abuse.
That and lack of support cuz husband s don't want to help with the newborn do you wind up awake every 2 hrs for every feeding while you recover from the most trauma your nether regions can ever go through
You are a genius. Yes my birth was traumatizing. I got depressed and then went insane!
Luckily I was able to have a natural child birth in my hospital. But I agree with the “helicopter nurses” saying you can’t do this or don’t do that. I was pissed after delivering my third child, two nurses got upset at me for walking my newborn (to help soothe her and calm her down) because I could “faint” and “drop my baby”.
How? It had been over 24 hours after delivering and I had no epidural and was eating fine and had my IV fluids. Why couldn’t I walk my baby??? 😠
I didn't get to see my kids because i had them all by C-section until like 4 or 5 hours later it was crazy and i hated it.... I had people that was my support and the baby's father so I should have gotten to bond with my child right away!
I feel strongly that we really lost touch with ourselves these days...
Men and women are so wound up they are not practicing self-care, have no idea about the importance of boundaries - we literally have no love for ourselves and therefore for each other.
It has got to stop, we have got to stop and ask ourselves the right questions:
How am I feeling about this? What is it that I really need right now?... Who delivers the baby?
We need to constantly ask ourselves important questions and come up with different, genuine, more real answers. We need to get in touch with ourselves and to get in touch with each other. AGAIN. Now...
Thank you Ashley! This is very timely for me as I am due with my first baby in 6 weeks and recently decided to birth at home with a mid-wife. There is a long way to go and much education that must happen before we may see a culture shift away from the medical model to an evidence-based model, but your talk is pushing it along. Keep up the great work! xo
This is definitely a fear of mine- not having my voice heard and my wishes honored during such a vital time!
I was to birth my son at home this past November and after 24 hours of hard labor I could no longer do it. I ended up going to the hospital and the doctor forced me into a c section basically. My doula and midwife were amazing. My natural birth experience was amazing but then turned sour. I would do the homebirth experience all over again. I urge all women to birth your babies at home if you have no serious complications. It such a beautiful experience with the right women by your side.
Thank you so much for this. As a Hypnotherapist offering Hypnobirthing it's so good to hear you talking about this topic. in the UK things are less medically intrusive and Midwives are brilliant. ......bit we still have some improvements to be made. I love empowering families to birth in the way they instinctively want to but I can only cover Sussex and Hampshire but thankfully there are others out there helping women in other areas.
I used a doula! It really helped. I had the support I needed.
Great talk. I feel it sounds more empowering to say the woman births her baby
Thank you Ashley for a wonderful TED talk! So happy to hear you mention meditation as a tool for labor. Simple mindfulness techniques improve mom's focus, reduce pain and changes the brain in areas that support positive mood.
I had my first in a natural hospital birth. My second was an unexpected home delivery with just my husband and my 2 yr old. My third at a large hospital birth center. My fourth at a small two room birth center with very hands off midwives. My easiest delivery by far was the second surprise birth at home. *Natural Birth and nursing a child is the most empowering thing in human life*
@NippleTwister3000 First, have you given birth naturally and exclusively breastfed a child of your own?
If you have, what other experience have you had that was more empowering?
If you haven't....how do you know?
@NippleTwister3000 Perhaps. Perhaps not.
I've watched this at least 10 times :) I'm a behavioral psychologist (Auburn) and hope to be a doula someday
so much of this is true! i never knew of many of these things till after i had my daughter. its true it's all a monopoly, but in the end mother and child suffer. i was in labor 19hrs got an epidural (also had patocin not exactly sure at what point but it was for a while.) and ended in c-section @25 hours. i was really down on myself at first but now im so proud! my daughter had a true knot which became a risk so we are glad but i always wished to experience natural childbirth, it was extremely difficult. also the dr. made me sign papers stating i wouldnt be able to birth any other children natural once c-section so that was hard too, because it made it that more real that I'll never experience natural childbirth. this was very inspirational !!
A Dr. has no legal right to 'make' you have future caesareans, regardless of what you have signed. I urge you to become educated in birth and VBAC, obtain your hospital records and gain the support of knowledgeable care providers in future.
The Art of the Home I agree with you re the doctor not being able to do that however I suspect that those papers were a waiver that said that should she continue to receive care from that doctor they are the terms on which he provides care. Ie she/he is refusing to provide care to the woman on terms against his advice. VBAC is a great option for many woman however I suspect many women do not know about it
Thankfully a lot more children are born at home or naturally in the hospital in the Netherlands. I was born at home myself, and plan on trying to give birth at home myself when I can finally get pregnant! No laying down for me!
Dear one, please DO a home birth , do not TRY a home birth...set everything clear to DO a homebirth and see this clearly, with some hypnobirthing as well! Know everything necessary in case of any other way, yet know that this way will not be yours! Know that you have a voice! and use it.
Sending lots of Love and Trust your way!
I started my first birth at home but was later moved to the hospital for safety. Still had a great birthing experience there! Delivered my second at home in my birthing pool hands-off with my midwife in the room. Both my births were great and I believe doing the hypnobirthing course really helped me find my strength in saying no to certain medical standardized practices. I hope you will have your amazing birth at some point :)
I had both of my babies at home with CPM's and it was the most powerful and wonderful experience. I'm thankful for hospitals in an emergency, but home is the place for birth for me. You can do it!
@NippleTwister3000 What about the hospital infection rates. Are they any better? We have a very low mother or infant mortality rate in the Netherlands. Even with all the home births.
@NippleTwister3000 Please oh please humour me and explain to me why we have a low birth rate?
I’m very happy I gave birth in a hospital. I didn’t have an epidural, I stayed only in physiological positions to have a quick labour, all went great and really fast until my son got stuck in my pelvis. He had his hand in front of his face and he got stuck. His heart rate started to decelerate with every contraction, he was in acidosis, so I was very happy to get help from the gynecologist.
In the end all that matters is to have a healthy baby and mother.
Thank you so much! We need to start a hashtag #ideliveredmybaby
Had 2 perfect childbirths. When my son was born, I was alone lying on a bed for monitoring for like 10 minutes. Went from 6 to 9 in that time lapse, boyfriend parking the car ... yelling my soul out. Worst 10 minutes of my life. Most painful and most lonely minutes ever.
My first child was born due to induction because I had preeclampsia. I was not able to walk around due to health issues and I understood, but it still affected me in a lot of ways. With my next child, that’s due in a few weeks, I want to be able to walk around more and not give birth laying down. I want to do what feels natural
Tell me how it goes for you 🤗
Power to you, I had all my babies in the hospital. No regrets. 3 of my 4 children would have died otherwise. The last pregnantncy I would have bled out.
It's really, really important for these women to remember that things can go very wrong, very quickly, and they need to have a phone on hand and someone ready to call 911 should anything not go as planned. Sure, it's nice and empowering to have your baby at home, but it's never worth a risk to your life or your child's life. The moment you feel something might be wrong, call the doctor.
About to give birth to my second baby using natural methods and no medicinal pain relief. It is truly a wonderful experience. So happy to be the 1000th like.
How did it go? Has it happened yet?
Thank you Ashley! Good Job.
Amen!! Such an incredible talk and I agree one hundred and 10 percent!
I recently read a quote along the lines of "Besides childbirth, what other extremely painful and possibly traumatic to the body process do we expect people to go through without some kind of medicinal pain relief?" and I can't get it out of my head. Yes, birthing parents should be entitled to make their own choices, and if they're not comfortable in a hospital setting I get it, but this trend in certain circles of trying to talk women out of using epidurals is ridiculous. Just because you CAN birth a baby without one doesn't mean you should have to. If you expect to be respected for choosing an unmedicated birth (and you should be! that's fair!) you have to respect epidurals too.
badooney I agree, I have many doctors in my family and unfortunately a lot of women are confused or have false information about epidurals. It actually can benefit u to have one vs not having one
I agree with you, as far as the pain goes. But remember that an epidural does not just relieve pain. It paralyzes the woman from the waist down, and makes her completely unable to move or aid in the laboring process. Sure, the pain is gone, but the labor almost always comes to a halt, because in order for it to progress, mom needs to remain as mobile as possible, to help the baby keep moving downwards into the pelvis. I had an epidural during my labor. It wore off before the actual delivery, so I experienced a natural birth as well. While not being in pain is nice, it prolonged my labor by hours and hours. If I knew then what I know now, I would've stayed up on my feet, out of the bed, moving around, and listened to my body's cues of when to push, when to move, when to rest, etc. Assuming that mom and baby are healthy and without complications, a woman's body knows exactly what to do to get that baby out, and we really need to keep moving towards labor and delivery care that recognizes and supports this.
Why is it painful a traumatic?? It’s a natural process. It’s painful and traumatic because of the inductions, the pitocin, the disruptions and stressors and providers making the laboring woman feel unsafe. An epidural is NOT healthy for the baby, so while I’m not going to tell anyone she is wrong for choosing an epidural, I absolutely want to educate her on how to avoid an epidural and what harm it causes to the baby.
Sounds like an opportunity for new business: A Women's Building or Birthing Centers for Women that practice what she suggests. Medical professionals could be staffed round-the-clock staffed to assist birthing emergencies. I am picturing a birthing resort, where women can admit themselves up to a week before their due date to meditate, exercise, bond with their spouse and anticipated baby. Hotel style birthing rooms with large bathtubs, a common river lap pool, and an outdoor park-like setting. This style of "birthing hospital" could compete with hospitals, because there is a demand for natural births where mothers are in control of their birthing experience.
That sounds absolutely amazing
Right now I may be only 16 but I will definitely have a natural child birth with the help of a mid wife one day 👏
I personally would rather just see all maternity wards in hospitals "revamp" into birthing centers, that way medical intervention is there if necessary or emergency related.
One can dream! Fortunately my local hospital is pretty great with unmedicated births but would still love a less sterile more comfortable environment
In the Netherlands we actually have something like that. There are birthing hotels where you go once labour starts. These can have birthing baths (if desired), and the rooms are more homelike than a hospital and are designed for being a nice environment (not clinical). It is a step in between a home birth and a hospital birth. They have close connections and are close to hospitals in case you need medical assistance. They also let the parents stay longer after the birth and teach the basics of caring for a newborn, such as breastfeeding specialists. They provide 24hour service and care to give peace and guidance to the parents (and baby). Really a great option. I’m sure this actually is a good business opportunity, it works here so why not in other places.
it's not in the us only i live in the UK and i was tied in a bed for more than 30 hours i was forbidden to eat and move i wished i was dea, ended up haaving c-section and when i had the baby no one has come to me to help i tried to get crying baby coz one is there to help i injured myself with catheter it was horrible i felt like suing the hospital but i just forgive them.
Hi. Im an RN and I have a hard time believing you were tied to your bed. The only way thats possible is if you had warrants and were going to jail right after the child birth or you were threatening to hurt yourself, the baby or staff members.
You should have sued them! If I were you I'd look at how I could sue them NOW!
I’m so sorry you had this traumatic experience. I wish you lots of healing and love.
Excellent presentation. I'll be sharing this with my doula clients.
The way she isn't wrong about anything, queen behavior!
My first labour was really bad (two days), I was told what to do and then when I had given birth I was treated horribly by the midwives....
Alternatives to the routine use of an epidural. HA. Come say that here in Italy, where a lot of hospitals are against the use of epidural, because tradition says you have to suffer, and if you don't suffer enough you won't be really attached to your baby, "you took the easy way out"... Hooray for epidural, when needed... (WHEN NEEDED, not in every single case).
Needless to say that I agree with your point of view on childbirth, women SHOULD be empowered, and have choices.
I’m sorry to hear it. I wish you all the best going forward.
That's what she is saying in some countries she is forced to take epidural, in some countries she is forced to not ask for epidural, in some countries she is directly forced to caeserean
But in no country she is asked " These are various options that are available. What do u feel is most convinient way or option for u to deliver ur baby?"
Couldn't have said it better myself!
I was a labor & delivery nurse 40 years & heard the statement thousands of times"I can't do this" or "Get it out" " I want my epidermal" I spelled this wrong because many say it that way. In a low risk pregnancy a doula may help but sometimes they exert their opinions when we, as the medical staff, know what to do. I support them to a point & any birth that has an outcome of healthy mom & healthy babies successful. PP depression is very, very serious & needs to be addressed with professionals.
Autumn Grace I’m not sure what L& D staff you worked with. Their attitude may be because they sense how u feel about them. I have always asked my patients what their wants needs and expectations are. I’ve had doulas answer for them. I find this unacceptable. L and D nurses are highly trained yet we want to labor and deliver a patient with as little intervention as possible. Technology has its place and can become an essential lifesaver. I’ve found jealousy with doulas and when we have to rush a patient back for a STAT c/s for a prolapsed cord ruptured uterus fetal distress I couldn’t care less how the doulas feel. This is when technology training experience and instinct save lives. Like I said low risk but even that can turn into a disaster. That’s why people like me are there.
You are the one making assumptions by referencing the "era" I come from. I've taught nursing till very recently & I have 2 masters degrees. First in Maternal/Child Health & the second in Biomedical Ethics. I was the first advanced trained RN to approve a Midwifery trial at the level 1 hospital where I work. This program has been very successful & is popular with primips & less popular with multips. There is a place for alternative pain measures & a cheerleader to help the process but don't knock & demean the people you need there in an emergency. I was a strong proponent for home births until undiagnosed twins, both frank breech died. You don't listen because you have nothing to lose. I have a license & more responsibility than you could ever know.
I would refer a PP depressed patient to a well trained expert. Why not share your profession? You're so certain your view is superior than mine. I am also the mother of quadruplets born in 1980, three survived. I had a NSVD. I'm also an ordained minister. You ........
Sad for you. God bless. Have a great new year.
Ended up having c-sections with my two. Wish I had heard this talk.
I agree completely!
Every woman should get to birth however they please. Even if that means all the meds ✌🏻
If it wasn't so unaffordable there would be far more women utilizing this necessary service for Western society and parenting in isolation. No extended family and/or social support around them (and I mean physical support).
Some will work on a sliding scale with you.
AT M Gosh this is so true! I qualify for Medicaid but no midwife or doula can accept it in my state! so my option is a FREE hospital birth or a couple thousand dollars out of pocket that I just absolutely do not have. plus midwives are like a secret society In my area. Almost impossible to find one.
+T J.
look for the local Doula Association in your area, or where they are trained. You may ask your Child birth educator about information you're wanting. What state are residing? I hope this helps *
C Knowles thank you! I wish I had saw this previously! I gave birth a week ago today! at a hospital. but this experience was much better than the others I had. the nurses and doctors were so kind this go around. maybe they know they're losing business!
i was my mom most difficult birth it was 1985, she was in labor for 3 days because dr at the hospital were idiots. she has a disability: spina bifida and was unable to do a natural birth. They made her try to push me out, didn't work. They tried forceps and pull me out, didn't work. They ended up doing a c-section, and die to the forceps i had bruises on my temples. they even refused to let her see me as well, and she heard me cry at the nursery. the nurses said no, you hearing things but then she marched down to it, and sure enough i was crying.
I was a too well behaved child and pretty much slept at night with out fuss only waking up for food. i wasn't a misbehaving toddler either. come to find out I have autism.
I had a cousin on my step dad side who had a baby with out help, the dr and nurses forgot about her. her mom was pissed as anything could happen. :/
I think every women who delivers unmedicated says at one point in labor, "I don't think that I can do this."
I absolutely did, lol. I said, "I don't know how much longer I can do this" and the nurse said, "As long as you have to, and not a minute longer". It sounded unkind and harsh at the time, but looking back, I know she meant well!
Excellent talk.
" who delivered your baby"
Moms:
😬
'Me'
this is an amazing talk
This is amazing!! I’m due to give birth in June and I’m so nervous, I wish I had someone like you at the birth :(
kim
Did you find someone? Someone who trusts in birth... Main thing is that you do. We have been doing this for such a long time. hypnobirthing is great too na dknowing you have a voice and you use it to speak up for your rights and those of the baby!
SO EDUCATIONAL
very well said sister
Writing frpm bf account. In Sweden where I live it is worse than the US, before I became pregnant I thought I knew so much about giving birth and how it should be done. As soon as I became pregnant I started listening to my body, I know I can give birth without any pain relief other than water and the comport of my husband. Ofc in a hospital but noone is gonna tell me to do anything, I will be standing or in a low squat position and my body will do the rest. All that has ever lived has been born so why shouldnt every woman be able to give birth her own way? When animals give birth at the absolute beginning of life they stand.
My mother is a specialist in medicine and I know more about medicine than many others, taking a epi and other things weaken the muscles and make you more prone to break so be brave and go without!
I LIVE IN CALEXICO, CALIFORNIA, I PLEDGE YOU NOT STOP, THIS IS AMAZING, THERE IS A WOMAN TALKING ABOUT THE TRUE ABOUT GIVING BIRTH, IT'S NOT EASY WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG FIRST CHILD, AND YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE, IS SPANISH, IN A COUNTRY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE, EVERTYTHING ABOUT DRUGS ITS TRUE ON MY FIRST CHILD , I COULDN'T RELAX, EVERYONE WAS ON ME, MEDICINE, NURSES, DOCTORS, SO, I GET A C=SECTION , REALLY HARD, I GET A TWO BAGS OF BLOOD, WELL AT LESS I AM A LIVE NOW, PLEASE WOMAN BE EMPHATIE WITH YOUR SISTERS ;)
Fantastic!
hospitals are for sick people. if you go there you ave to make it effectively for the hospital stuff. if you don´t have a high risk for complications don´t go there.
Wonderful!
I will never give birth in a hospital if I can avoid it.
Perfect!
LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wouldn’t it be awesome if doulas were covered under medical insurance as professionals offering services? Seems like doctors don’t want anyone taking their jobs. Because more doulas equals less c sections.
In the past maternal and baby death rates were extremely high, so very often a woman's body does not really "know", as she says. I prefer not to take that risk and trust the professionals...
Death rates have never been "extremely high", if this had been true then human race would not have taken over the planet as it did. The deaths that occurred during childbirth were because of specific reasons which are now well known and are classified as high-risk pregnancies like pre-eclampsia, Placenta previa or a transverse baby. Such cases are dealt with accordingly and today very few death occur because of these reasons. On the other hand many fetal deaths and complications are now caused because of unnecessary medical interventions which are forced on the mother by fear mongering.
I really don't understand this hate of medical professionals being involved in birth! Yes, it was annoying when once I was called a patient, because I wasn't ill, I was pregnant, but my water broke at 34 weeks and 4 days and found out my baby was breech. A week later I started having contractions and had to have an emergency C-Section because my baby's hand was poking through my cervix. Trying a natural birth in that situation would have been a horrible idea! Even the section was a bit tricky and they had some trouble getting his head out. Yes, 100 years ago women gave birth with little support. How many of them died during child birth? How many babies died? I don't feel less confident in taking care of Alex because doctors delivered my baby! Why not use experts? That's what they're there for! Let people more experienced than me and more educated me what to do! I've had years of experience in only following what advice I thought sensible, but nurses, doctors and midwives might tell me something I hadn't thought of. Maybe we should just educate women to be stronger and let themselves be pushed around. As for the bad experiences with medical professionals, I'm really sorry they happened, but I'm convinced that there are more bad experiences at home. And for the record, in a natural birth I'd say the mother delivered the baby, the medical staff helped. And why do vets help deliver baby cows and stuff? Also, if I came across an elephant giving birth, I'd stay back because I have no idea what should be done, but the same is true in the case of a woman. In both cases I'd call for help.
If you don't understand it, then ask someone who feels that way and genuinely listen without your own input. Listen empathically and reflectively and leave your own experience out of it. You say you are already convinced things are worse at home. Are you willing to let that go just long enough to find out if it's really true?
a breech birth at 34 weeks is not a candidate for homebirth. Your situation is not typical. Vets very rarely deliver calves, the cow does it on her own. My own uncomplicated labor was rife with orders being barked at me, cervical exams that I didn't need, by hurried hands. My body was not my own, it belonged to the system that I allowed myself to become a part of. A horrific and degrading experience that I will not be repeating with my next child.
I almost died during labor after the first hospital tried to FORCE a natural birth and refused to admit me. The second hospital only admitted me because I'd given them a run down of everything I'd done at home and threatened to go labor on the floor of the ER until they agreed to help. So I get that the hospital isn't for everyone but I DON'T see why shaming women who use them makes one feel superior or better bonded with their child. If you can't bond with your baby because the doctors did their jobs in a way you didn't like then I'm sorry but that's something THEY did wrong. Nobody makes you go to the hospital, you chose to because some part of you recognized that they probably knew more than you did about how to deliver babies. Also, very few things are set in stone even hospital administration has wiggle room so standing up for yourself was an option you chose not to utilize. Women receiving an EXCESS of medical care could cause problems. It could cause traumatic memories and stress. But a lack of medical care for the women who need it absolutely WILL cause trauma and injury. And likely put both lives in jeopardy. From one woman with traumatic birth experience to another, please don't go from one extreme to the other, find a happy medium. Cuz your labor was awful yes but it wasn't likely to kill you being made to stay in the hospital. But being denied access to the hospital because people keep advertising all natural, non gmo, gluten free birth as the best way to go nearly did lose me mine.I get the appeal of natural I really do but you should encourage the benefit of it without telling people that the hospital is a death chamber full of sadistic control freaks in white coats. The maternal and infant mortality rates do not decrease with home births.
Healthy = alive
Evidence-based. yay.
Even though she means well, she says at the beginning that she is not a medical doctor. Take note. Here overriding theme is that childbirth is over medicalised, and that we interfere too much. This might be true, but nature isn't always right. If you want too see why childbirth has been medicalised, you need to look at the rates of mother and infant mortality before modern medicine. Around 1 in 5 women died during childbirth before this time. That doesn't even cover the millions of women who had to live with agony or medical complications because they didn't have the modern medicine, pain relief and tools that we have today. So high was the risk, that when women got pregnant they did so under the understand that they might well die. Nature is not perfect, so her using the elephant comparison is ridiculous. An elephant is designed differently for one thing. Humans need a higher rate of care because of the way our pelvises have developed from evolution. People would do well to remember this.
Arti science respectfully disagrees with you. Please do some research. Also I'd like a link to your "1 in 5 women died of childbirth" stat. Read some of Ina May Gaskin's science-based books as well as other science-based books with peer-reviewed research on obstetrics. There are many myths that have long been debunked but unfortunately are still circulated among doctors in this field, some of which are around from the 1900s. Likely the women who died in childbirth historically died of negligence, as the male doctors who accepted this long-held belief that women "naturally die in childbirth" thus were not as concerned for her well-being once the child was born. Ina May quotes a maternal mortality rate in her book that is closer to 1 in 1,000 and most of those could have been prevented with less interventions and more education for the birthing mothers. There will always be a portion of mothers and babies who, despite all precautionary measures, will die in childbirth because that is Mother nature's way. However, it is both illogical and unethical to apply the worst-case scenario to all normal people in other areas of life, yet for some reason we do with pregnant and labouring mothers. Assume that most women will do just fine in pregnancy and labor with the right diet, health, good stress management, education and support system and only once complications arise should the very minimum amount of interventions take place. That is where we should be headed in 2019.
Batsheva Ribiat LOVE this
The best comment.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I went to a birthing center even if my insurance wouldn't cover it they make it more affordable then a hospital even with insurance. .. I want a water birth and they have regular check ups and more programs for my over all health and my husbands . I knew from the beginning I didn't want to deliver in the hospital.
What is a birthing centre? , we don't have it in our country
@@chatgpt4135 mine was a midwifery , but essentially paid for appointments, sonograms , gave me advice, an emergency line for me to text and if natural birth didn't work scheduled a room in the midwife section of the hospital.. everyone you meet essentially is helping you give birth . It's an awesome service and they didn't check me vaginally or touch my stomach without my consent which was what I heard is a big problem in doctors offices . They even came to my house and gave me a sonogram to ensure the baby still had a heart beat . Far cheaper then a doctors office too . 16,000 dollars is to provide pregnancy care , birth and checking in. That's with insurance paying for most of it and they tell you up front , even provide classes but those cost extra then the standard care
luckily when don't have that elephant example in Africa women give birth natural without all the annoying monitors
Safiya That must be so great.
Africa has their kids in hospitals because they are not quite as poor as you imagine them to be and secondly, those who don't have a much MUCH higher rate of both child and mother of dying when giving birth.
this video made me scared of childbirth i'm not even gonna make my future wife pregnant
This video makes me never want to give birth
@@violet23988 Birth, when left alone, is amazing!! I'm on #4 and I delivered all of my babies!
@@SloansAbroad wow !!
Great talk, but I'm sorry, pregnancy is romantic? Yeah, no, this message needs to be adjusted for he reality of most woman.
You know why hospitals dont reccomend doing yoga for pain? Because theres no studies that prove it helps.
Our mother are helped by a midwive
If you have a good midwife, why bother paying an additional person? huh? Shop around for a midwife and save your money, stay at home and your midwife
gives u full attention. (call the hospital and let them know you are in labor and if anything goes sideways --heads up on where you live, ect.--we timed route to closest
hospital and it was 15 min away. All went well, but was nice to have a solid plan B, just in case) Wouldn't have changed a thing, home was the best place for us.
Is this Big Bang Theory? ))))
BMS2 You're getting her confused with Mayim Bialik who is from TBBT. This lady isn't Mayim Bialik.
Why is she talking like a robot?! Lol. Oh. My. God. I. Did. It. I. Did. It 🤪
Midwife
Ya let’s go back to the days where women bleed out at home, babies die of preventable group b strep infections, and when something goes wrong there’s no trained medical help. Sounds good.
People are anti vaccinators now and think drinking essential oils will cure their diseases, what else do you expect at this point
she didnt say that. she said overusing medicine during birth when not needed causes more problems than it fixes
have not watched the video but this specimen looks like the woman from big bang theory i hope shes aware. of that.
No thanks, I prefer to be ktfo! Lol 😬🤷🏻♀️