Beyond Bubble Baths: The Real Meaning of Self-Care
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- In today's fast-paced world, true self-care often gets overlooked. But it's more than just spa days and bubble baths. Join Dr. Tracey Marks as she delves deep into setting healthy boundaries, the real essence of mental well-being, and actionable steps to ensure you're prioritizing yourself. Discover why refilling your own cup isn't just crucial for you, but for everyone around you. #SelfCare #MentalWellbeing #SetBoundaries"
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To me, self care isn't about indulging myself but rather about parenting myself.
I like this reframe!
Thank you ❤ it's perfect
Damn
I need to work on setting boundaries and saying no to people without justifying it
Same, brother, it's hard
Me too. 💜
I always think i become an asshole when i start doing this...
That has been the story of my life, to make a better effort to set boundaries after people constantly trampled on them, so I understand completely.
Well at least you are not saying yes when you really mean no than trying to justify that
Prevention is the best cure. Establish boundaries ahead of time.
3:20 I have told my friends and family that I do not want to talk/text after 8 pm unless it is a true emergency because I have problems with sleep and it's important that I have 2+ hours of down time. I also have informed them that I do not enjoy talking for more than an hour and that I will start to wrap up calls after 45 minutes.
I like your approach, because I am myself. So when I get a phone call I tend to say on the other for hours with this lady I know. Then I realized today my energy was low but it's my fault. Thank you for sharing.
'No' is a complete sentence. I own a phone and other devices (and pay the bills) for my own convenience, and I'll respond to messages at my convenience, thank you.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
As an adult with ADHD, self care includes setting my calendar with alerts for appointments and tasks, and setting daily alarms for those things that "ought" to be habits, but aren't. They help me take better care of myself, my home, and my finances.
so true
I live near my in-laws and I had to set boundaries with them that they cannot just pop up on me and believe me it works! Self-care and peace i owe to myself. Great post Dr. Marks💪🏾
I always remember calling my sister and her being like, "can't talk right now, I'm singing." Like, she was just having a sing-song in her room. I was like, "ok" and called her another time. It still cracks me up because I get it.
Right now self care for me is finding a job where I work traditional hours and not second shift. May take a while but I am worth it.
You are ❤
My problem with self care is that I don't feel I deserve to do it. I usually feel ridiculous if I do stuff and I don't keep it up.
Yes exactly ugh
If you don’t feel you deserve it yet, start with that thought for your kids. I noticed you have a baby in your picture. Do you feel your child deserves a healthy happy parent? If so, start there. Do the things you love so that you can be healthy and happy, because your child deserves that type of parent!❤
@@BoyMama87 Thanks very much kindly internet stranger 💜. My child definitely deserves to have a happy healthy parent. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me on this planet is him and his brother.
I'm terrible will self care. It's not just teaching myself but allowing myself to do it. I didn't really understand bound until later in life. Heck I didn't even realize I had boundaries until my thirties. Some much was taken from me because of my childhood abuse. The lessons learned at a young age are the hardest to unlearn.
That's very true. It's heart wrenching work, too. But you may find that many others are working on the same things you are. And this is worthwhile work, which one gradually does, day by day, to feel better. For me, it's a journey, not a destination, and that's ok. There is much love for you in this grand Universe of ours. Do what you can today, and know that you are doing it for yourself. You're worthy.
@eggedon6112 Your "unlearning" and freeing and healing. That beautiful inner-child...who was unable to protect him/herself ! 👌👍👏
@@eggedon6112 Your introspection is priceless! 💯👌👍
Setting boundaries, prioritizing your needs and saying *No* without guilt is so hard. I'm trying my best to do it, but I feel people will leave you or worst, you realize they never really cared for you unless you're doing something for them 😟
Take your time to learn all you can about yourself. Dr. Marks offers some good ideas. Try one that you like, then another.
I'm a fine one to talk, though, because I have a long way to go with my self-care, too, but I just wanted to offer you a word of support. You're worthy. You can do it.
I hear ya! I have the same thoughts. Knowing they are not very rational doesn't actually help that much. Hang in there.
I solved the talking to someone in need by responding with a text like this: I am unable to talk at this time; however, I will be available to talk at this time. If this doesn’t work for you, let’s schedule a time that works for us both in the near future. This has worked great for me and it allows us both to understand the urgency of the request. For me, I have had much better results than just saying not at this time. I understand that not everyone’s experience will be like mine.
This is better. Your way through text is more considerate than a flat refusal.
Agree. Scheduling social phone calls became normalised in the pandemic and i still do it as needed
Just a note to everyone. If you’re dealing with narcissists they don’t respect boundaries. So just saying if you set boundaries and someone continues to attempt to trespass or create guilt around you they are likely narcissistic, so in this case you will need to cut that person or persons out of your life altogether if possible!
My counselors have been pretty bad. They told me to take a bubble bath when I asked what self care meant. Another told me to play my ukulele when I was depressed and then would admonish me for not doing it in the middle of our sessions. I had to tell her I'm not a child and I don't feel like doing that right now.
This is so hard after my metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. My depression before cancer was so bad that every time I went to another monthly oncology appointment, like, "WTF am I doing?!?" I could forget to take my medications all too easily. Then my fingernails gradually began falling apart, so I learned how to do my own nails, more self-care. Then they sent me to a nutritionist when my vitamin D dropped to nearly nil. Now I gotta take vitamins and eat right, crap! I think I'd be dead by now if not for my loving husband. Now I got a boob job, healthier diet, lost 50 pounds, feel great, WTF am I doing? I was on my way OUT before cancer, but now I'm heather than I've ever been while living with a terminal illness.
If you have clinical depression, I hate to say it, but I highly recommend stage 4 cancer!
Wow how crazy is this!!!!!! I love and hate it at the same time. I love that taking care of yourself helped you to feel better. I hate that you have MBC though. My mother-in-law died from that 4 years ago at age 52. Triple negative. She was an avid runner and ate healthy with her own garden.
Embrace the voice note, my friends!! You don't have to talk directly, they can your kindness but firmness, you can set your boundary, and limit any confusing text messages. Just a lil tip if text messages feels complex for you.
Voice memos are my fav!
This was the need of the hour for me. Being a people pleaser, setting boundaries has always been difficult for me. It feels like I have to twist my arm to say "no." But I am working on it right now.
The “saying no without justifying it” rule doesn’t mean ALWAYS say no without justifying, it means: don’t always feel like you MUST justify it.
Why is this SO hard? Is it hard for everyone? Sometimes I resent people who say no without explaining, or say no easily, and I am seeing that this is me just feeling bad about the fact that *I* don't do it. Instead of resenting them I should see them as role models. I think it has a LOT to do how I was raised.
Yes, it's hard. Dr. Marks gives a lot of good ideas. Perhaps trying just one at a time will decrease the overwhelm. There is loving help available, there are books, good therapists, 12-step programs, On line opportunities. Just go easy on yourself, and yes, I know how hard it can be.
@@eggedon6112 thank you for replying. I'm already doing all those things. In fact I brought this up with my therapist (of 8 years) last evening. Even with many resources and a proactive approach, it's still hard, as I am sure most of us know. Info and support is very valuable but you still have to do the work, especially when the maladaptive habits were learned and ingrained at a young age and you have 60 years of experience using maladaptive approaches (and in our culture, the maladaptive approach (meet other people's needs, always give all you can) these things are praised in our society. Anyway, thank you again
I was raised by two people who would never do anything they didn't want to do, and who broke every rule they didn't like. If I ever agreed to do something I didn't want to do, I would lose their respect immediately.
To answer your question , it’s difficult to do self care practices when you live in a toxic environment (for example when you are being physically & verbally abused). You’re always too panicked to relax. I only started taking care of myself once I was out of survival mode. Now that I live alone it’s easier to self care. There are many other reasons this is just my pov.
Thank you Dr. Marks.
I appreciate the boundaries “how to do it” scenarios.
I have heard many times that boundaries are important, but they failed to explain how to set and enforce boundaries.
Freudenfreud. Happy to see you’re still producing content.
Thank you for explaining *how* to set boundaries. It's a big struggle of mine because I don't know what I need or want.
If you know what you don’t want, it will help you become clearer on what you do want. Do you want to be around people all day everyday? Or do you want a lot of time alone? Do you want to be in a loud busy place? Or do you need space and peace… ✨
You're allowed to experiment. You can say things like.. this month I'm trying to improve my sleep by not taking calls after 9pm
Cartoon clips of Jesus popping up while explaining introversion had me laughing so hard 😂
idk if you read comments, but informing us on how to cope with the cognitive damage brung about by bipolar would be amazing, many of us have reported to be sharper when we where younger than we are as young adults, i've noticed i've had a slowly worsening speech impairment
I am an LMFT and I LOVE your videos. Super grateful for your work!! Don’t stop! :)
There should be a course on boundary setting in high school. The world would be a better place!
There should be a course on it in elementary school! I model boundaries for kids that age, and I teach them that they can and should create them. I also teach my pediatric clients how to apologize. The full one, where you offer reparations after you acknowledge specifically what you did and why it harmed the other person.
Thank you for your videos Tracey. I'm a people pleasing INFJ. Really appreciate your insights. FYI, red light therapy and inversion tables have been the ultimate home spa purchases I'd recommend
Thumbnails are next level. Content is good, too! The ADHD tips video was super helpful and that’s what got me started. But I don’t mind UA-cam serving up these others
Due to my chronic anxiety i struggle with all these things and more it makes my mental health worse. But now, im going to work towards doing better for ME
Yes, f2f socialising is extremely important. It's something that I have never been too good at, but in the right company it can be very productive. But it is also very important that you don't overload the other person with your sudden enthusiasm. Or that you look for interaction with people who can handle your over-exuberance because it is also a major part of their own experience.
Thank you for making this video! I'm not sure when it started, but, women feeling guilty for taking time to themselves has been going on for decades. Monthly massage memberships came along and the stigma lifted a bit about giving yourself a whole hour per month to take care of yourself. What?? We need at least an hour a day. Thanks for putting this info out so we can normalize self-care for mental preservation and for our physical longevity. ❤
This has it’s place because in the workplace, you must establish what you are otherwise busy with ir else be called into the office for insubordination.
Was that an artist rendition of Jesus w/disciples? 😉
Such a great psychiatrist! I wish they were all as good as Dr. Tracey Marks! ❤
I have been video journaling the past month and it helps me have a outlet. I do like traditional journaling but my mind seems all over the place when I do it.
Thank you this. It was on time for me and so needed. ❤️❤️
Thank you. We really need balance these days.
On point!🎉
LOVVEEE the illustrations!
Your editor is great. Thanks for this❤
Get a 2x3 blackboard online. Hang it domeplace discreet, for your eyes only. Colored chalk and bright washable paint markers (like they use at restaurants) are cheap. When something bothers you, write it down. When you realize the things that made you happy, write them down.
Seeing everything that is important to you, good or bad, helps you to remember what has been good for you.
Much easier to see or change than a list on a piece of paper. And you read it anytime you walk past.
Great video and thanks for including Christ
I will say that every self care rule/practice has nuisances. Giving a small explanation as to why you can’t help/be somewhere never hurts, and it can help the other person not feel neglected/ignored etc. The only time I would not give an explanation is if the person were abusive or always tried to talk me out of doing what I need to do.
Real self-care.
Loved this.
All your explanations are so good! Thanks for sharing. You are very dear to me. Best wishes to you and your family.
Great info thank you 🙏🏾
Timely message Thanks✌️
Just in time thank you!
You right I acknowledge that ☝🏾
Awesome video and great reminder, thx! 👍
Thank you for this video, it's appreciated.
What a brilliant video. 😊
Thank you Dr Tracey for the great content you upload. What you talk about makes so much sense. It's a great way to work and hopefully enjoy yourself and definitely set those boundaries .
Thank you Dr Tracey so appreciated, you content very helpful
You always make great videos! Thank you so much! This one is very useful ❤
Thank you for the super useful videos! Your are awesome❤
Thanks Doc! I needed this.
I really needed to hear this, this morning. Thank you, Dr. Tracey!
I really needed this video it’s something I have always struggled with and continue to work on🙏
Dr Marks, Your videos are always interesting,informative, meaningful and easy to understand. You are a wonderful resource person and an inspiration. Thank you for all you do.
Thank you. Helpful
Man this was an awesome video. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Wish UA-cam had a ❤ button
😝 if i respond to a call with a text, they'll just start a 2 hour text conversation!!! 😱
i'll stick with avoidance on that one, thank you very much!! ☺️
all of those baths, showers, skincare, haircare as self-care absolutely feel like chores to have to do them on a daily basis, I actually get drained from them, and I am 31 female w/ executive dysfunction
my family wonders why I so loathe to "take care of myself"
trying to look "pretty" (i.e., wearing makeup, which is just absolutely uncomfortable) is far from making into my to-do list, doesn't matter the occasion
This is what I really need. 🥺
Thank you. I need to get better at communication and setting boundaries.
Thank you for making such immensely helpful videos ❤
I just took a sick day because I needed a break from hectic and stressful work and was feeling very guilty about it. I was even thinking of connecting to office today..
I feel much better after seeing your video. Thank you 👍
Amazing video you did an awesome job
Tracey, I love your videos and find your new formats to be very visually engaging. However, I was wondering if you have had any feedback on the AI/modulated voice you use for characters in some segments? Personally, I find it a bit difficult to focus on. Are there any alternative versions of it?
Another great video, I hope we can see Tracey at the Mental Wealth Expo in New York
Thank you Dr. Marks! I needed to see this. Funny enough I'm sitting in a bubble bath now!
Awesome
Hello Dr. Stacey Marks, I am your new subscriber for 2 weeks now and I loved all your videos including people with ADHD and what you can do about it. I have a honest request, can you create a video on how to avoid getting distracted like, something about internal triggers and homeostatic response and I would love to watch it. Thank you...
so , self care being assertive
awesome, thanks!!!
I like how some therapy traits reminds buddism
Thank you! Great video!
Thank you for this 🙏🏾
Thank you Dr. Marks this was a welcomed reminder for me. Can you share your opinion on self-sabotage or setting/keeping self boundaries. I think it’s challenging to to keep boundaries in place with outside relationships when you aren’t able to stay true to boundaries you set for yourself.
Dr Marks, can you make a video explaining how Borderline Personality Disorder and Dysthymia may present when co-occurring?
When I always reply to calls unless it's coworkers. Last time I texted back or told friends we will talk later they committed suicide, so no more unanswered calls.
such an important video! THank you so much
Hi, Dr.Tracey! Can people with ODD truly love? Can they love their parents and partners? Could you please make a video about it? Thank you! - Isabel
Thank you, Dr. Marks. It is so important to take care of ourselves so that we can better take care of others when those times arise.
can you make a video on the "condition for further study" in the dsm 5?
Hmm. I often experience people who never meet anyone's needs. Who never help anyone, and at the same time, take excessively. I'm not sure if, in our already very self --centered world, constantly telling people that boundaries are the way to go really works. I know people will tell me boundaries aren't selfish. But I feel that in some way, this is a miscommunication. There's nothing wrong with doing things for others, and we also need to be there for each other. If everyone constantly prioritizes themselves and only says "no," there are no communities and no relationships.
Great video. Ironic to me... My first ex always said "Self care" while never committing to actually care for herself. Only bubble baths with candles... She was quite stereotypical, on hindsigh.
Dr Tracy would you consider doing videos on people pleasing?
Hello what about meditation? Great video 😊
Dig this❤️
Hi doctor , your videos are very precise and informative . Pls tell me if ketamine can be used for psychosis . My doctor is suggesting me to go for ECT . But i have come to know that ketamine is better than ECT . Please guide me through .
This video is timely! The topic for this week's psychoed and process groups is the topic of self care. I'm going to use it as an intro. .
Lmao I wish they took boundaries into consideration in residency training
The Jesus animation. 😮😂
I don't know why, but I liked this video claiming that our Lord Jesus was an introvert. It somehow makes me feel better about being an introvert. 😊
@@Passions5555Ditto. 😊
@@Passions5555After reading the Gospels for the first time as a teen, I was convinced Jesus was an introvert. It takes one to know one😅
Traci could you do a video on journaling? I try to but it never lasts too long and I end up burning my journal because I think someone might read it. I have BP II .
Try journaling on your phone and lock the folder 🤷♀️
Hello Dr.Tracy I’m Bethlehem I need ur help please 🙏 I get feeling terrible when I see pictures of many eye and unusual pictures and unusual body structure. My body feeling so hot and my brain stop working also I start crying also my body start shaking. What science say about this kind of condition. Please tell me what to do 🙏 I’m suffering from this unknown disorder.
What if my needs are beeing with people and the only way to have it is to let them step over my boundaries while i myself can never do that?
Hello I hope you’re well. I’ve been taking 15mg Mirtazapine for the past 5 weeks and it worked really well, but suddenly I am getting withdrawal symptoms like burning sensation, anxiety and sweating during the day as if I haven’t taken them. What does that mean? Please reply, thanks
You need to report this to your doctor.
Thank you beautiful lady
Can someone explain how a text "in not available for a phone call right not" is anything other than direct?
❤❤