'pleasure and belonging is the opposite of trauma'. I am 38 years old now and just starting to realise how childhood trauma is affecting my day to day life. I have had depressive episodes since I was a teenager. The basic thought / state I am in when I am depressed is 'There is no safe place for me on earth'. I just recently started to realise that I am entitled (and hopefully capable) of choosing for pleasure and for people who love me as I am. Actually moving to another country helped me a lot with the last part.
I wish you peace and calm inside dear and a speedy recovery. At age 39 surpressed memories of ritual childhood incest by my "dad" surfaced. It's now been 27 months to the day and I've just exited t/fog. Living w/ others and new healthy friends helped.
This world needs more people like Dr Bessel. I suffered the most horrendous childhood abuse that's effected my whole life! No you don't get over it, it imprints on your whole life. I suffer with pain, IBS, bladder infections, migraines, nightmares, panic attacks etc. I'm 62 years old. Not one psychiatrist, psychologist from any CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) (I'm in the UK) has ever understood or wanted to understand anything about childhood abuse - I had one psychiatrist say to me 'your wasting my time we have people here with real problems'! I was referred to the Maudsley national trauma centre in London in 2016 (they are supposed to be the experts in childhood abuse!) It was a 16 week group supposedly 'stabilisation' course! The psychiatrist that ran the group didn't allow anyone to talk about their lives. There was 6 people in the group, all female, I was the only transman. she treated me completely different to the others because I was 'male'! At final 'assessment' she said to me 'I usually ignore people with attachment disorders, but with you I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't'! I put in a complaint, she denied saying it! The complaint went nowhere! I complained again by email and she threatened me with the police!! She isn't fit for a job like that and should be struck off! she is a narcissist. I was traumatised again by that experience! I have read The body keeps the score. Brilliant book! taught me a lot! I think this book should be mandatory reading by all mental health 'professionals'!
Sorry you've had to go through this. It sounds awful. Sadly the NHS' mental health provision prefers time limited or IAPT/CBT style interventions which don't focus on the effects of traumatic experiences but on more solution based approaches to achieve results to justify their funding. It's a fallacy since it takes longer to support people with past trauma. People don't get to process their trauma in 16 group sessions, but they do learn how to change their thinking processes, which is helpful for some but not for those with PTSD or cPTSD.
Thanks for sharing your horrible experiences. I have not read the book yet. I am fighting with this traumatic experiences with men here right now and I feel like no one understand me at all. When I read your comment, I felt… it’s very hard to explain…how I feel now but Dr. Bessel did a great job of doing that for me…I thought something wrong with me being so scared around people since I was little. I really appreciate what he is doing for us and the rest of the children in the world. Bookmarked.
@@1LaOriental That would be great, I have heard quite a lot about this treatment - but I live in the UK where the 'mental health' system is still operating in the 19th century!
My adverse childhood abuse was 16 yrs of physical and psychological torture. They mercilessly, blamed, shamed, and denigrated me in private and in public. I never thought of it as trauma until I read books on the topic. I just thought I had a bad childhood. 17:27
Wow you are so wonderfully entuned to the trauma experience. I've dealt with so many counselors, therapists and doctors and they didn't have a clue what was wrong with me yet you explained everything here. I finally feel I have a starting point on how to heal. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!!!
Check out the”Finding Freedom” lecture series on UA-cam. I learned more from those lectures about why I felt the way I did, reacted how I did, why my family & siblings threaten me a certain way, & how it shaped my thinking as an adult. It was more eye opening & helpful then years of therapy fir the most part. The guy who goes the lectures just nails it. Once I understood, it really helped me pay attention to how I responded to people / events. Once I learned that, I used some of this docs strategies to help my thinking & feelings change about myself. I stopped getting so triggered I’d lose myself. I have my moments of course, but I catch myself most times. I see where my thinking is headed & pull it back bc It a result of that old abusive programming, rearing it’s head, & I remember the other persons actions or the events upsetting me, generally aren’t about me. Particularly if I see troubling news, & don’t know the people. I can empathize w/ their pain or frustration, w/o getting sucked down the rabbit hole. Having said that, I also know I can’t immerse myself w/ news about terrible things happening to innocent people all the time. I don’t watch news networks anymore bc there job is to get people emotional, upset, angry.. trigger the lizard brain, create outrage, division, & distraction. That’s all kabuki theatre anyway, so I refuse to play into it. I’m 53 & I’m finally getting to a healthier stage in my life regarding my complex ptsd. It is not easy. More about perseverance & the concrete belief I can overcome what those people did to me as a child. More about the fact that I’m determined not to let them win. It’s a motivator, lol.
It is a very deep theoretical approach and at same time useful and practical. Dr Bessel van der Kolk is a wonderful, creative speaker and a serious scientist, it is a joy and pleasure to listen to him.
My whole life has been one trauma after another. Surprised I'm still alive. I am now disabled from a bladder disease, PTSD, depression. I tried really hard to understand what was wrong with me, why I couldn't have a normal relationship. Always blamed myself. After being abandoned by mother, hit by acoholic Father. Hit by husband. Ow at 50 years old I understand all of the reasons I did what I did. Abuse is a life sentence, wish people would realize this, it does not just go away. The more I've learned about the connection between physical and emotional the better I am able to deal with some things. Thank you for your book, really wish I could get some in patient treatment, but of course I can not afford that. If someone, anyone could help with that I would be so grateful. I would love to have a few years, without disabling pain, nightmares, anxiety. It's very sad, because I now see all of the potential I had, but I was trying to survive. I'm hanging on, finally left my abusive family but the damage is done. Not sure if I'll be able to go on, never leave the house. Anyway this book is absolutely wonderful.
Tragic! I am sorry for this. I know someone close to me with the EXACT same situation and ALL cane together when they were around 50. Check our Let Us Worship revival! They have a UA-cam channel. Jesus can heal you! If you can make it to an event even better--they are going all over America. Freedom from all of that for you! In Jesu name, amen
Hi Gina✨ I hear you loud & clear. You are a sister on this path to heal. First thing... hold your head high. Be kind to yourself. You can be proud you’ve survived. Second thing... this is not a contest, go your own pace. This is a life lesson nothing about healing is quick... Express acts of kindness... to humans, animals & plants 🌱 Growing flowers or putting out a hummingbird feeder. It’s a way, anyway... will show a lighter side to living this life🕊 I send you my understanding & love
Have you heard of energy therapies like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) EMDR or somatic experiencing? They work by releasing traumatic experiences from the energetic system. It might be worth investigating, esp EFT as that can be done with a practitioner, in a group, or by yourself listening to practitioners on You Tube.
I can so understand where you are, your life is so similar to mine, the only difference is I became female to male transgender to 'escape' my female body that was so contorted with trauma! This I now regret! Not only did I never get any help with childhood trauma, it wasn't even recognised by so called 'experts' - and still isn't now!
Yes!! This man has brought me to tears multiple times today. Embrace the golden rule to treat others as you wish to be treated! Don't stand for abuse and neglect!!! Peace!
I love this recording. There is so much truth/wisdom in his thinking around people's experiences. Thank you for this, my quality of life is improved from watching this ♥️
Wonderful to see you. I used your trauma research in my graduate thesis on the result of trauma related to childhood abduction and abuse. Your research was the most accurate, thank you.
It's me!!! I'm resourceful and creative, a natural born problem solver.. everyone dear to me notices how resilient i am. despite my trauma i ended up ok :)
I was guided here by my therapist to listen to a previous video based on Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk’s work. I am 54 and live in a constant state of chronic pain and fear. When I looked at the ACE questionnaire I had 7 ACEs I was completely shocked but not surprised to learn that someone who has so many ACEs has a life expectancy less 20 years due to the trauma that they suffered. My question is can I claim some of those years back ? Can I become a living person instead of a terrified person ? I am very glad to have been directed here because for the first time I really truly understand why I am the way I am. I am reassured to that our commitment to our children and grandchildren was to break the cycle of abuse in our family and to make sure to create a loving playful safe environment for all children who we know I think we manage that and it was very good to have had those actions affirmed. Can anyone help me with the questions I have ? I have always said to myself that the day I survive the multiple abuses I have suffered is the day I die and become released I would love so much to be released from those abuses and the painful consequences I suffer in this life. Love to all who pause to read this and to all who have suffered the world does not know our pain. ✨✨✨
Good Queston… can we recover? I believe we can, we must and we will. There is the spiritual component that Dr Gabor Mate’ talked about in a video. We are spiritual beings not just bio, psycho,social. I needed to hear that. I know it in my core so to know that childhood trauma specialists are teaching this as well assured me that progress is being made. Not everywhere but on UA-cam and the library has books so we can help ourselves to this info while many drs are still in the dark. I’m grateful that I’m not alone in my feelings. CPTSD explains so much of my experience.
I suffered from severe depressions that kept reoccuring (although I had really good therapy and worked with good effort to fight depression) due to an undiagnosed cPTSD. After I got diagnosed I managed to understand myself and take much better care of me. So I can say. YES! We can heal and we can negate a lot of our trauma's consequences.
I am exquisitely reading a PDF of Prescott Leckey's work and it seems to me that in more ways than one (his insistence on scientific validation of psychological theories possibly being essential) that Dr. Leckey is Bessel van der Kolk's actual forebear in these studies. For me, I am living out the wonderful understanding that what has prohibited me from my real life is a lack of Self Consistency in knowing who I am and what I am doing. Can I believe my new, real life and act upon it? Remedies are now possible more than ever!!
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful knowledge. I have your book and I studied on line via lap top, out of my comfort zone. I am so pleased I did as I can speak to other people online - visually. ACE in UK I didnt even know what it was and dissected full meaning. Counsellors and therapists do things for their agenda, their time, their fixing of things. To sit with a person and let them have their silence, gaining trust in therapist, allows them to grow. I love the fact that you are so intelligent from studies, also that you listen to the people. Text books and certificates are brilliant but I found voluntary work whilst studying as a mature student, the very best of understanding people also dogs, that's another chapter. Thank you for feeling and healing others.
Well, I can't be angry about your not being visable in Boston in 1993, when Iwas seeking a trauma therapist, because your book wasn't out until 2014. I had to leave the area due to this fact .Trust me, I searched and I had an outstanding buisness, but was forced to abandon everything in order to save my life. I will read your book and see if it can help me deal with painful issues past present and future. I only wish I had been able to work with you many years back, but I am pleased you are now in Boston. That place Sorely needs a trauma therapist. Thank you.
The ACE study is one of the most important contributions to trauma treatment and validates how many problems people present with are symptoms of early life trauma. What I wish this study would add is the impact of medical trauma - kids born with medical problems requiring time in a NICU or surgeries or some other major intervention. But even circumcision can be a defining physical trauma wired into the brain. Sadly the greatest work to add the impact of medical issues has been silenced by the broader medical and mental health community. Dr. Louis Tinnin's ITR (instinctive trauma response) along with the ACE and the work of van der Kolk should be required for all practitioners
What an amazing presentation! Just watched Childhood Experiences at Bermuda's 2019 Conference. I have watched many videos and done much research on childhood trauma. I have seen videos focusing on the neurological effects of early trauma, and of course the emotional and behavioral effects. Your presentation was so clear and concise, and pointed out the basics that we all need as children to develop healthy self esteem, self confidence and the ability to interact with others in a positive way. Diagnosed with PTSD many years ago as a result of combat experience, it has only been recently that I became aware of how much my childhood has impacted my life as an adult. By illustrating what is necessary to proper childhood development, you illustrated what was almost totally lacking in mine. I like the fact that you mention different things that we can do outside of counseling or medication to repair some of the damage, and why they work. A couple of examples of which were getting involved in theater or sports. Thank you so much for this wonderful presentation. Pat
I have 10/10 ACE’s. I live with CPTSD, Bi polar disorder and a plethora of other debilitating physical health issues such as ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia. My body has most definitely been reacting to the trauma and neglect I suffered since infancy.
Not being able to predict, what is going to happen can be very traumatic. But observing the signs in an abusive parent and just waiting for the next assault to come is hard too. As a child I would provoke (unconsciously) my father to molest and torture me because just waiting for the enevitable was worse. Thank you for this video and all your great work.
they always say (like Professor Bessel) that the treatment is to feel safe. But what if someone doesnt have alot of safety in their life and they have to be often on the go and dont have support.. Every time I see these videos, I get encouraged by seeing the first parts. but when they talk about the solution I see I dont have the environment and resources..
Every single time. A volume on what society can do to help children and families. A volume on how trauma affects children. But the fact that millions of children who _didn't_ get that help are now adults with varying levels of disability and pain as a result is glossed over. "Uh do yoga I guess, hope you find and can afford the 1 decent shrink in your city." Why does turning 6571 days old have to suddenly mean society no longer has any obligation to help? If the path to heal trauma is belonging and being in sync with others, why are we exclusively told to go it alone?
@@Plasmafox definitely we need syncing and it is a beautiful idea. So having Human Resources to help in the process are critical but that resource isn’t just a therapist or a walking mate. Combination of age where someone lives who they have in their lives their physical health their stage in life influence if people are there for them to sync with. I listened to all of their talks including professor Stephen P etc ; These two are scientists and I respect their views as they don’t overpromise things and are concise . They don’t speak about these issues because they know it or maybe they never experienced to know. Either way. Like could Gabor mate continuously work on himself if he didn’t have the life he has now? I bet he couldn’t and he himself s correctly says this too. After all it is not their problem at all because some people are not just gonna be in the majority but as prisoners as they call themselves it is important to discuss these things at least to acknowledge them and I feel it is such a shame that they miss these issues
We are meant to be in sync with each other, in harmony . Yes . Is very imp that you feel that people know you, they are attuned . Yes. Trauma is all about being out of sync. You want something and somebody starts yelling at you . ❤️
Oldest..fighting inconsistent parents emotional absent parents. My memories differ from the younger siblings. Then continued life experiences with maladaptive response caused more piled on trama on repeat thru to current age 65. Cant fake the mess i am anymore.. Gonna buy the book this week..i need answers..
Just checking to see if anyone is out there feeling so alone, with tears in their eyes, wishing they could get rid of the pain inside so they no longer want to die!??
I am trying to find out if Bessel ever mentioned HPA axis dysfunction..,I have it as a result of severe, lifelong stress due to parental abuse the first 16 yrs of my life. I’d like to know what he says about it. It is a debilitating condition 😢
The Body talks about “internal managers” that keep one functioning and getting along. Oddly, many of Bessel’s patients are doctors. These people were deeply traumatized and acting out, yet able to look after patients. I totally can’t relate to that. I had ADD and trouble learning which is often the case when home life is disturbed and chaotic. Almost daily I was slapped in the face before school for some minor infraction, which caused nosebleeds and made me late. I apparently did not have “internal managers” that allowed me to study and learn in my youth.
I’d really love to know what Bessel thinks of Primal Therapy...I did Primal in the mid 70s and found it helpful. It is based on the Primal Scream by Arthur Janov. You get down on the floor and scream your pain out.
A few yrs ago I had botched up surgery that caused me to almost die, I went down the tunnel it was dark tunnel, u.was put into a coma. And when I was in the hospital if the doctors didn't kill me the nurse were trying to kill me. So I had to have one eye open at all times in the hospitals. I'm told I have PTSD but I don't know how to stop it. I .just have or feel safe. But I'm frightened to move to another state were the crime is the worst. . I need to feel Ave but am terrified of moving to ATL. Son lives in beautiful family area. I'm scared.
you can know what happens next in a consistently toxic environment. This perpetrates C-ptsd. So it's not inconsistencies that create issues. It's the quality of the consistency.
Does he discus somewhere about childhood sexual abuse from primary caregiver and how that impacts adult relationships and specifically emotional and sexual relationship with spouse?
Bessel wrote "the body keeps the score". Among all sorts of trauma's that sort of situation and its consequences does come up. At various times, under different treatments. So it can be worked on, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Good luck!
12:30 Bessel says scientists work hard to discover genetic factors that predispose people to develop traumatic stress (page154), but no solid answers yet. My father had a low tolerance for stress and very anxious..and i'm the same way, or was before the SSRI. So, i believe it is epigenetic.Not everything can be scientifically proven...some things are just intuitive.
What is never mentioned is that lifelong stress due to trauma shortens telomeres, and therefore, lives. Read The Telomere Effect and take steps to lengthen your telomeres. A lot is made of exercise, but nothing about good nutrition and nutraceuticals. The body is complex, and we need to fight the effects of trauma from all directions.
“Genetic factors predispose some to develop traumatic stress”BINGO! I strongly believe that happened to me and my offspring. Sadly, I did not win the genetic lottery, and neither did they. No one is to blame, except maybe our creator.
It was news to me to learn that if you're born with a small hippocampus, you're more susceptible to traumatic stress😢i previously thought early childhood stress is cause for shrinking the hippocampus...this is not welcome news.
The ultimate cruelty about life is that we come into it completely helpless and dependent and at the mercy of our caregivers. Thats why i feel so stronly about NOT having children. Unless you're absolutely sure you have it in you to sacrifice your time and efforts to this demanding work of being mothers. I wasnt...
Theater programs for traumatized youth is brilliant. "We're healing trauma without anyone ever mentioning the word". If they had a program like that for elders, i'd sign up. But pls not Shakespeare.
That is spiritual narcissism and religion is the worst culprit cult of justifying abuse. Ironically the same Bible says don’t provoke your children or face their wrath.
"the best gift parents can give their children is a childhood they DON'T have to recover from"
'pleasure and belonging is the opposite of trauma'.
I am 38 years old now and just starting to realise how childhood trauma is affecting my day to day life.
I have had depressive episodes since I was a teenager. The basic thought / state I am in when I am depressed is 'There is no safe place for me on earth'.
I just recently started to realise that I am entitled (and hopefully capable) of choosing for pleasure and for people who love me as I am.
Actually moving to another country helped me a lot with the last part.
You can get hyper about being assaulted in diffrant ways and see thing that shouldn't be assault as assault.
I wish you peace and calm inside dear and a speedy recovery. At age 39 surpressed memories of ritual childhood incest by my "dad" surfaced. It's now been 27 months to the day and I've just exited t/fog. Living w/ others and new healthy friends helped.
This is the first time in 25 years that I have heard something that describes me very well. I'm amazed.
Like a fog being lifted
@@carmelcream7662
💯‼️❤️🩹🙏☮️
💯‼️❤️🩹🙏☮️
This world needs more people like Dr Bessel. I suffered the most horrendous childhood abuse that's effected my whole life! No you don't get over it, it imprints on your whole life. I suffer with pain, IBS, bladder infections, migraines, nightmares, panic attacks etc. I'm 62 years old. Not one psychiatrist, psychologist from any CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) (I'm in the UK) has ever understood or wanted to understand anything about childhood abuse - I had one psychiatrist say to me 'your wasting my time we have people here with real problems'! I was referred to the Maudsley national trauma centre in London in 2016 (they are supposed to be the experts in childhood abuse!) It was a 16 week group supposedly 'stabilisation' course! The psychiatrist that ran the group didn't allow anyone to talk about their lives. There was 6 people in the group, all female, I was the only transman. she treated me completely different to the others because I was 'male'! At final 'assessment' she said to me 'I usually ignore people with attachment disorders, but with you I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't'! I put in a complaint, she denied saying it! The complaint went nowhere! I complained again by email and she threatened me with the police!! She isn't fit for a job like that and should be struck off! she is a narcissist. I was traumatised again by that experience! I have read The body keeps the score. Brilliant book! taught me a lot! I think this book should be mandatory reading by all mental health 'professionals'!
Sorry you've had to go through this. It sounds awful. Sadly the NHS' mental health provision prefers time limited or IAPT/CBT style interventions which don't focus on the effects of traumatic experiences but on more solution based approaches to achieve results to justify their funding. It's a fallacy since it takes longer to support people with past trauma. People don't get to process their trauma in 16 group sessions, but they do learn how to change their thinking processes, which is helpful for some but not for those with PTSD or cPTSD.
Try using psychedelics with trained facilitators/shamans. It really helps with trauma. Good luck 🍀!
Thanks for sharing your horrible experiences. I have not read the book yet. I am fighting with this traumatic experiences with men here right now and I feel like no one understand me at all. When I read your comment, I felt… it’s very hard to explain…how I feel now but Dr. Bessel did a great job of doing that for me…I thought something wrong with me being so scared around people since I was little. I really appreciate what he is doing for us and the rest of the children in the world. Bookmarked.
@@1LaOriental That would be great, I have heard quite a lot about this treatment - but I live in the UK where the 'mental health' system is still operating in the 19th century!
@@1LaOriental Yes!
My adverse childhood abuse was 16 yrs of physical and psychological torture. They mercilessly, blamed, shamed, and denigrated me in private and in public. I never thought of it as trauma until I read books on the topic. I just thought I had a bad childhood. 17:27
Wow you are so wonderfully entuned to the trauma experience. I've dealt with so many counselors, therapists and doctors and they didn't have a clue what was wrong with me yet you explained everything here. I finally feel I have a starting point on how to heal. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!!!
Check out the”Finding Freedom” lecture series on UA-cam. I learned more from those lectures about why I felt the way I did, reacted how I did, why my family & siblings threaten me a certain way, & how it shaped my thinking as an adult. It was more eye opening & helpful then years of therapy fir the most part. The guy who goes the lectures just nails it. Once I understood, it really helped me pay attention to how I responded to people / events. Once I learned that, I used some of this docs strategies to help my thinking & feelings change about myself. I stopped getting so triggered I’d lose myself. I have my moments of course, but I catch myself most times. I see where my thinking is headed & pull it back bc It a result of that old abusive programming, rearing it’s head, & I remember the other persons actions or the events upsetting me, generally aren’t about me. Particularly if I see troubling news, & don’t know the people. I can empathize w/ their pain or frustration, w/o getting sucked down the rabbit hole. Having said that, I also know I can’t immerse myself w/ news about terrible things happening to innocent people all the time. I don’t watch news networks anymore bc there job is to get people emotional, upset, angry.. trigger the lizard brain, create outrage, division, & distraction. That’s all kabuki theatre anyway, so I refuse to play into it.
I’m 53 & I’m finally getting to a healthier stage in my life regarding my complex ptsd. It is not easy. More about perseverance & the concrete belief I can overcome what those people did to me as a child. More about the fact that I’m determined not to let them win. It’s a motivator, lol.
@@dshepherd107 Thank you I will!!!!
Check out Richard Grannen fortress mental health.
@@kahlodiego5299 Thanks will look into that!
Please be aware that many therapists now have little mini-credentials, or specialties, and being "trauma-informed" is one of them.
It is a very deep theoretical approach and at same time useful and practical. Dr Bessel van der Kolk is a wonderful, creative speaker and a serious scientist, it is a joy and pleasure to listen to him.
Yes, and he is the REAL deal, not like someone who is trying to be him.
My whole life has been one trauma after another. Surprised I'm still alive. I am now disabled from a bladder disease, PTSD, depression. I tried really hard to understand what was wrong with me, why I couldn't have a normal relationship. Always blamed myself. After being abandoned by mother, hit by acoholic Father. Hit by husband. Ow at 50 years old I understand all of the reasons I did what I did. Abuse is a life sentence, wish people would realize this, it does not just go away. The more I've learned about the connection between physical and emotional the better I am able to deal with some things. Thank you for your book, really wish I could get some in patient treatment, but of course I can not afford that. If someone, anyone could help with that I would be so grateful. I would love to have a few years, without disabling pain, nightmares, anxiety. It's very sad, because I now see all of the potential I had, but I was trying to survive. I'm hanging on, finally left my abusive family but the damage is done. Not sure if I'll be able to go on, never leave the house. Anyway this book is absolutely wonderful.
Tragic! I am sorry for this. I know someone close to me with the EXACT same situation and ALL cane together when they were around 50. Check our Let Us Worship revival! They have a UA-cam channel. Jesus can heal you! If you can make it to an event even better--they are going all over America. Freedom from all of that for you! In Jesu name, amen
Hi Gina✨
I hear you loud & clear. You are a sister on this path to heal.
First thing... hold your head high.
Be kind to yourself.
You can be proud you’ve survived.
Second thing... this is not a contest, go your own pace. This is a life lesson nothing about healing is quick...
Express acts of kindness... to humans, animals & plants 🌱
Growing flowers or putting out a hummingbird feeder.
It’s a way, anyway... will show a lighter side to living this life🕊
I send you my understanding & love
Thank you for your messages, every little thing helps me to keep going. Hugs, G
Have you heard of energy therapies like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) EMDR or somatic experiencing? They work by releasing traumatic experiences from the energetic system. It might be worth investigating, esp EFT as that can be done with a practitioner, in a group, or by yourself listening to practitioners on You Tube.
I can so understand where you are, your life is so similar to mine, the only difference is I became female to male transgender to 'escape' my female body that was so contorted with trauma! This I now regret! Not only did I never get any help with childhood trauma, it wasn't even recognised by so called 'experts' - and still isn't now!
Absolutely brilliant! We need safety and sanctuary to grow! To be seen heard and connected with. Thanks Dr B
Yes!! This man has brought me to tears multiple times today. Embrace the golden rule to treat others as you wish to be treated! Don't stand for abuse and neglect!!! Peace!
Unfortunately children have no choice..,
I love this recording. There is so much truth/wisdom in his thinking around people's experiences. Thank you for this, my quality of life is improved from watching this ♥️
Wonderful to see you. I used your trauma research in my graduate thesis on the result of trauma related to childhood abduction and abuse. Your research was the most accurate, thank you.
It's me!!! I'm resourceful and creative, a natural born problem solver.. everyone dear to me notices how resilient i am. despite my trauma i ended up ok :)
I was guided here by my therapist to listen to a previous video based on Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk’s work. I am 54 and live in a constant state of chronic pain and fear. When I looked at the ACE questionnaire I had 7 ACEs I was completely shocked but not surprised to learn that someone who has so many ACEs has a life expectancy less 20 years due to the trauma that they suffered. My question is can I claim some of those years back ? Can I become a living person instead of a terrified person ? I am very glad to have been directed here because for the first time I really truly understand why I am the way I am. I am reassured to that our commitment to our children and grandchildren was to break the cycle of abuse in our family and to make sure to create a loving playful safe environment for all children who we know I think we manage that and it was very good to have had those actions affirmed. Can anyone help me with the questions I have ? I have always said to myself that the day I survive the multiple abuses I have suffered is the day I die and become released I would love so much to be released from those abuses and the painful consequences I suffer in this life. Love to all who pause to read this and to all who have suffered the world does not know our pain. ✨✨✨
Good Queston… can we recover? I believe we can, we must and we will. There is the spiritual component that Dr Gabor Mate’ talked about in a video. We are spiritual beings not just bio, psycho,social. I needed to hear that. I know it in my core so to know that childhood trauma specialists are teaching this as well assured me that progress is being made. Not everywhere but on UA-cam and the library has books so we can help ourselves to this info while many drs are still in the dark. I’m grateful that I’m not alone in my feelings. CPTSD explains so much of my experience.
I suffered from severe depressions that kept reoccuring (although I had really good therapy and worked with good effort to fight depression) due to an undiagnosed cPTSD. After I got diagnosed I managed to understand myself and take much better care of me. So I can say. YES! We can heal and we can negate a lot of our trauma's consequences.
I love you Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk
I am exquisitely reading a PDF of Prescott Leckey's work and it seems to me that in more ways than one (his insistence on scientific validation of psychological theories possibly being essential) that Dr. Leckey is Bessel van der Kolk's actual forebear in these studies. For me, I am living out the wonderful understanding that what has prohibited me from my real life is a lack of Self Consistency in knowing who I am and what I am doing. Can I believe my new, real life and act upon it? Remedies are now possible more than ever!!
You are so good Dr!! It’s so important what u just said!! Thank u!!
I'm planning on watching and listening to every video you have made. Thanks so much!!
This was absolutely wonderful.
Cheer up-45 years for me.
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful knowledge. I have your book and I studied on line via lap top, out of my comfort zone. I am so pleased I did as I can speak to other people online - visually. ACE in UK I didnt even know what it was and dissected full meaning. Counsellors and therapists do things for their agenda, their time, their fixing of things. To sit with a person and let them have their silence, gaining trust in therapist, allows them to grow. I love the fact that you are so intelligent from studies, also that you listen to the people. Text books and certificates are brilliant but I found voluntary work whilst studying as a mature student, the very best of understanding people also dogs, that's another chapter. Thank you for feeling and healing others.
Thanks, so very good for all to hear.
Thank you, wonderful! I made notes, and watching this video again. Life changing. Thank you.
Well, I can't be angry about your not being visable in Boston in 1993, when Iwas seeking a trauma therapist, because your book wasn't out until 2014. I had to leave the area due to this fact .Trust me, I searched and I had an outstanding buisness, but was forced to abandon everything in order to save my life. I will read your book and see if it can help me deal with painful issues past present and future. I only wish I had been able to work with you many years back, but I am pleased you are now in Boston. That place Sorely needs a trauma therapist. Thank you.
The ACE study is one of the most important contributions to trauma treatment and validates how many problems people present with are symptoms of early life trauma. What I wish this study would add is the impact of medical trauma - kids born with medical problems requiring time in a NICU or surgeries or some other major intervention. But even circumcision can be a defining physical trauma wired into the brain. Sadly the greatest work to add the impact of medical issues has been silenced by the broader medical and mental health community. Dr. Louis Tinnin's ITR (instinctive trauma response) along with the ACE and the work of van der Kolk should be required for all practitioners
Thank you.
It's so difficult to evolve and grow emotionally, your help is so precious on earth!
💙 🏳️ 🌎 ⚕️ 🌍 ⚕️ 🌏 🧬 💙
Thank you!
Yes....superb words and advice! Such eloquent insight.
Wow! This was very informative! Thank you for sharing!
This is such an eye opener
Best book out there. So helpful. 💗 Thank you.
I cannot believe we had this phenomenal man on island!! Great work guys!! 💯💪🏽
What an amazing presentation! Just watched Childhood Experiences at Bermuda's 2019 Conference. I have watched many videos and done much research on childhood trauma. I have seen videos focusing on the neurological effects of early trauma, and of course the emotional and behavioral effects. Your presentation was so clear and concise, and pointed out the basics that we all need as children to develop healthy self esteem, self confidence and the ability to interact with others in a positive way. Diagnosed with PTSD many years ago as a result of combat experience, it has only been recently that I became aware of how much my childhood has impacted my life as an adult. By illustrating what is necessary to proper childhood development, you illustrated what was almost totally lacking in mine. I like the fact that you mention different things that we can do outside of counseling or medication to repair some of the damage, and why they work. A couple of examples of which were getting involved in theater or sports. Thank you so much for this wonderful presentation. Pat
Thank you so much 🥰.
Sooooo much info on trauma...it makes my head spin: where to go what to do, etc, etc, etc.....
Fa bene a cuore ascoltare questo dottore.
magnific.. great and beatiful exposure
I have 10/10 ACE’s. I live with CPTSD, Bi polar disorder and a plethora of other debilitating physical health issues such as ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia. My body has most definitely been reacting to the trauma and neglect I suffered since infancy.
Not being able to predict, what is going to happen can be very traumatic. But observing the signs in an abusive parent and just waiting for the next assault to come is hard too. As a child I would provoke (unconsciously) my father to molest and torture me because just waiting for the enevitable was worse. Thank you for this video and all your great work.
here in the states good luck telling any doctor about this type of issue
they always say (like Professor Bessel) that the treatment is to feel safe. But what if someone doesnt have alot of safety in their life and they have to be often on the go and dont have support.. Every time I see these videos, I get encouraged by seeing the first parts. but when they talk about the solution I see I dont have the environment and resources..
Every single time. A volume on what society can do to help children and families. A volume on how trauma affects children. But the fact that millions of children who _didn't_ get that help are now adults with varying levels of disability and pain as a result is glossed over. "Uh do yoga I guess, hope you find and can afford the 1 decent shrink in your city." Why does turning 6571 days old have to suddenly mean society no longer has any obligation to help? If the path to heal trauma is belonging and being in sync with others, why are we exclusively told to go it alone?
@@Plasmafox definitely we need syncing and it is a beautiful idea. So having Human Resources to help in the process are critical but that resource isn’t just a therapist or a walking mate. Combination of age where someone lives who they have in their lives their physical health their stage in life influence if people are there for them to sync with. I listened to all of their talks including professor Stephen P etc ; These two are scientists and I respect their views as they don’t overpromise things and are concise . They don’t speak about these issues because they know it or maybe they never experienced to know. Either way. Like could Gabor mate continuously work on himself if he didn’t have the life he has now? I bet he couldn’t and he himself s correctly says this too. After all it is not their problem at all because some people are not just gonna be in the majority but as prisoners as they call themselves it is important to discuss these things at least to acknowledge them and I feel it is such a shame that they miss these issues
Wonderful explanation!!
I am so sorry for you. After a long line of incompetent professionals, I’m glad the body keeps the .score has helped you. Blessings to you
This is incredible. Thank u
Dr Bessel, you are the Indiana Jones (so Harrison Ford look alike)
constantly on the conquest of human minds.
Thank you. Wonderful talk.
This man... ❤️🙏😌🙏🌞
Yes, more likeable than Gabor mate.
We are meant to be in sync with each other, in harmony . Yes . Is very imp that you feel that people know you, they are attuned . Yes. Trauma is all about being out of sync. You want something and somebody starts yelling at you . ❤️
I thought this was excellent, it really helped, thank you! I must get your book! :)
Oldest..fighting inconsistent parents emotional absent parents. My memories differ from the younger siblings. Then continued life experiences with maladaptive response caused more piled on trama on repeat thru to current age 65.
Cant fake the mess i am anymore..
Gonna buy the book this week..i need answers..
My life has been destroyed because of my childhood traumas and neglect. I'm 74 and still going through terrible anxiety and fear.
Just checking to see if anyone is out there feeling so alone, with tears in their eyes, wishing they could get rid of the pain inside so they no longer want to die!??
I am trying to find out if Bessel ever mentioned HPA axis dysfunction..,I have it as a result of severe, lifelong stress due to parental abuse the first 16 yrs of my life. I’d like to know what he says about it. It is a debilitating condition 😢
Need a book for spouse's trying to support.
How would bessel treat hpa axis dysregulation?
The Body talks about “internal managers” that keep one functioning and getting along. Oddly, many of Bessel’s patients are doctors. These people were deeply traumatized and acting out, yet able to look after patients. I totally can’t relate to that. I had ADD and trouble learning which is often the case when home life is disturbed and chaotic. Almost daily I was slapped in the face before school for some minor infraction, which caused nosebleeds and made me late. I apparently did not have “internal managers” that allowed me to study and learn in my youth.
this explains why I found it so hard to make friends as a kid and adolescent
Has your work been assessed long term ??? How many sessions and at what cost... ??
i pay about 60k per year for therapy
I’d really love to know what Bessel thinks of Primal Therapy...I did Primal in the mid 70s and found it helpful. It is based on the Primal Scream by Arthur Janov. You get down on the floor and scream your pain out.
A few yrs ago I had botched up surgery that caused me to almost die, I went down the tunnel it was dark tunnel, u.was put into a coma. And when I was in the hospital if the doctors didn't kill me the nurse were trying to kill me. So I had to have one eye open at all times in the hospitals. I'm told I have PTSD but I don't know how to stop it. I .just have or feel safe. But I'm frightened to move to another state were the crime is the worst. . I need to feel Ave but am terrified of moving to ATL. Son lives in beautiful family area. I'm scared.
3:34 distraction techniques. Any type of intrusive actions of any type of addictive behavior equals distraction technique
🕊🌎🕊🕊sharing
you can know what happens next in a consistently toxic environment. This perpetrates C-ptsd. So it's not inconsistencies that create issues. It's the quality of the consistency.
What about loss at young age of family members mum and brother, then sister? Is this info for abused kids?
This applies to my baby. He has formed an eating disorder from feeding trauma due to a untreated severe posterior tongue tie.
Video: Hi, my name is Bessel van der Kolk
Captions: Hi, my name is Brussels Undercook
Bessel seems to be better qualified than Gabor Mate. I think i will read The Body keeps the Score.
Bought the book and am reading it.
Thk u for your knowledge god blessLaurafahey in the United States of America state of PA currently
wow xx
❤️❤️❤️
Does he discus somewhere about childhood sexual abuse from primary caregiver and how that impacts adult relationships and specifically emotional and sexual relationship with spouse?
Bessel wrote "the body keeps the score". Among all sorts of trauma's that sort of situation and its consequences does come up. At various times, under different treatments. So it can be worked on, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Good luck!
Yes in the book the body keeps score.
12:30 Bessel says scientists work hard to discover genetic factors that predispose people to develop traumatic stress (page154), but no solid answers yet. My father had a low tolerance for stress and very anxious..and i'm the same way, or was before the SSRI. So, i believe it is epigenetic.Not everything can be scientifically proven...some things are just intuitive.
What is never mentioned is that lifelong stress due to trauma shortens telomeres, and therefore, lives. Read The Telomere Effect and take steps to lengthen your telomeres. A lot is made of exercise, but nothing about good nutrition and nutraceuticals. The body is complex, and we need to fight the effects of trauma from all directions.
i feel like i was more abused by my mom as an adult more than as a child. she controlled me financially and i wasn’t able to hold a job. i’m 50.
I did yoga with my abusive parents and it didn't help a thing...better alone or with other ppl
😭😭😭
“Genetic factors predispose some to develop traumatic stress”BINGO! I strongly believe that happened to me and my offspring. Sadly, I did not win the genetic lottery, and neither did they. No one is to blame, except maybe our creator.
Can you please investigate how male genital mutilation affects the brains of baby boys and ultimately men?
It was news to me to learn that if you're born with a small hippocampus, you're more susceptible to traumatic stress😢i previously thought early childhood stress is cause for shrinking the hippocampus...this is not welcome news.
Wonderful insights, yet missing the spiritual connection... "Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..." Romans 12:2
Is the only place to find spiritual connection the Christian Bible Mankind is much much older than that ...
Taking advantage of vulnerable people to sell your religion saves you a seat in hell
The ultimate cruelty about life is that we come into it completely helpless and dependent and at the mercy of our caregivers. Thats why i feel so stronly about NOT having children. Unless you're absolutely sure you have it in you to sacrifice your time and efforts to this demanding work of being mothers. I wasnt...
Theater programs for traumatized youth is brilliant. "We're healing trauma without anyone ever mentioning the word". If they had a program like that for elders, i'd sign up. But pls not Shakespeare.
i had more abuse from my mother in my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s.
If your parents didn't want you there must be something you did wrong. That's the "Christian" view.
That is spiritual narcissism and religion is the worst culprit cult of justifying abuse. Ironically the same Bible says don’t provoke your children or face their wrath.
Spoken like someone who isn't involved with Christianity.
@@roflpill And you speak like a Christian who knows more than God.
@@roflpill (Congratulations.)
So what?