Your Mom Is About To Lose Everything
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- Опубліковано 14 жов 2024
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You guys need to add an elder care specialist to your team. This is a complicated and difficult topic that deserves more sophisticated discussion than this call got. We have an entire generation moving into problems of this kind. You really need to add an expert in this area to the Ramsey lineup.
The brother is 100% stealing from mom. Caller needs to get a lawyer and gain power of attorney over her healthcare and finances. Since she refuses to discuss money, is almost broke, and almost burned a house down, this shouldn’t be hard. Then list the home as is and take care of mom. Cut older brother out of the equation because he hasn’t been transparent.
You missed the part where the older brother is the executor but not the POA. Meaning that the suit will fall flat if the will or trust has been activated, but he would have had to go to court to even do that and prove that she was mentally incompetent - it is possible if the older bother is being shady that the older brother did just that.
Demonstrate elder abuse@@tiffanysalling4272
My aunt did the same thing to my grandmother. She died pennyless because my mother's sister lived with her and drained everything while being a deadbeat. This is more common than people think.
Human pieces of shit are usually that way for their entire life. It’s funny how people know who loser parasites are and tolerate and put up with their shit. My favourite is that after a LIFETIME of dealing with the shit, people still put the loser in a position of power where they can steal, lie, manipulate etc.
Does it really matter? As long as the funeral is covered and paid for, dying penny less doesn't matter because you can't take it with you.
@@BJD-d6t when one sibling takes advantage of a family member it destroys that relationship forever. My mother is a sister of 3 and one soiled that entire relationship to the point where my mother didnt want to go to her own mother's funeral because my aunt was organizing it.
@@BJD-d6t Logical!!!! Yeah I need money to survive but once dead I don't need money any more as far as I am aware either!!!
@@BJD-d6tyes it’s awful to take advantage of elderly idiot
He needs to report this to an organization that deals with elderly abuse.
My husband had to do that; his sister's bratty son had used his finance degree to steal close to a million during Covid lockdown. She's worth so very much more but between dementia and her relatively good financial health, who knows how much she will need.
His sister promised their mom she would make it possible to live in her own house forever, surrounded by her beautiful paintings and things, instead sister's son has stolen cash and real estate as their mom has become increasingly confused.
It IS elder financial abuse: start with reporting to the police, they can give advice about local non-profits which can help, and then, get a lawyer but that will be expensive. Become her guardian. But then her debts become his responsibility.
This is my family. Once my parents (70s) got their inheritance, the formerly estranged daughter (40s) came back into the fold. My parents told me they pay for my sister's rent, private school tuition fees for their 4 kids etc (she is married). As just had baby no4, needed a new car to fit everyone as wouldn't consider used. She nor the husband work, by choice & while claiming social benefits. Apparently I'm just bitter and spiteful for telling my parents to stop the handouts & encourage them to stand on their two feet, with time on their side re retirement savings/compound interest. I'm going through the grieving stage atm. It. is. tough. As he says it "you wish you were still one of their boys". Sigh
As ramsey once said , enabelers dont have bouderies, they are 'nice', so when someone with bounderies comes along he is villified , he is the spiteful. Sorry you go through that... that sucks 😔
Let me tell you from the same side of the fence: Some children have the best interest in mind for their parents. Your sister ist OBVIOUSLY not that. You care for your parents and their wellbeing.
If they keep going they will be completely broke and left in the dust by that sister!
Tell them: "You are not responsible for her bad decisions. She is having baby 4 now despite not being able to pay rent etc. It is HER BAD DECISION! Not yours. You are not to blame and if she leaves again because you STOP PAYING, you will know she was never there for YOU but THE MONEY.
You are NOT her providers. She should get on her feet and bust her butt off for her family!!! Let her work to afford her lifestyle."
They should really rip off that bandaid and realize that their daughter is not worth it. Many parents cut off their kids. They did their best but it is time to see what will happen without their money poured into her family.
Call Adult Protective Services. When Mom runs out of money & has to apply for Medicaid, her financial dealings will also come out. Depending on what the brothers talking her into, it may jeopardize her getting approved.
My brother tried this before our mother died. Fortunately I was able to intervene in his lunacy and my mother realized that "Your brother only wants my money!". It was a mess to the end and my brother still feels that he was cheated out of his inheritance and threatening me with legal action.
Retirement homes do cost $10000 a month where I live. It will drain your savings.
And the people that live in them can be in denial about their condition, and will think they are moving back home to live independently any day now
@@drtij_dzienzYes, when there's dimensia involved in many cases that is true. My mom has Alzheimer's and so she used to talk about her house and car constantly, which we had already sold off to someone else.
It is $10k for the house and the retirement home
@@hollystiener16 Yes, and it is just about right for the cost's she's paying. Then when she is left with just about $5,000 she can apply for medicaid to pay for the carehome and the house will be sold to re-reimburse medicaid.
@@hollystiener16 Those speaking from experience like myself my mother's retirement home costs in California were $12,676 a month and included medical care, food, board, and various fees and medications.
I worked at an assisted living for over 3 years. From what my boss told me, $10,000 a month for a nursing home is not unrealistic. Usually Medicare covers it or something else. Also, if it is a nice one or she is splurging on some of the amenities they offer, $10,000 a month is very possible.
This is accurate. My mom is in assisted living currently, not a nice one, it's a Medicaid facility, and it's still 6k a month without any extras. Nursing homes are even more expensive
My aunt's was $8,000.00/mo. I know where that money is going...........right to the facility.
Depends on the level of care. True assisted living (meds, meals, but mostly self-care) in MCOLAs is usually more like $5-6k/mo in my experience. Nursing homes are a higher level of care (feeding, bathing, etc) so are $$$
10k a month is about right but he also said that that 10k was covering the mortgage on the house as well
Medicare does not cover nursing home care. That would be Medicaid, if the person is eligible.
So George is right, this is probably a situation of what is called financial abuse, there are statistics on it and everything. In 2017, 36% of seniors reported having experienced financial abuse. And those are just the ones who reported it. Many victims don’t recognize they are even being financially abused.
Honestly, the amount of abuse for elders is absolutely out of control. It is heartbreaking. Fortunately my sister and I, the only two siblings, are on the same page and neither of us are demanding our parents' money, so the only thing we really care about from our parents stuff is some furniture and knickknacks here and there. Our trouble was dementia, but finally we were able to get power of attorney and so it's gone much better. I wish there was some sort of mandatory counseling session for people on this.
What a terrible mess!!!!
My mom bailed my alcoholic older brother of his finances about 3x. We told mom to stop but nope she would not listen. Now he is with the Lord. Mom is still alive, age 84.
My mum is bailing my bro out and he also stole 80k from her credit card. Now she asked her own brother for a loan of 250k as my brother has court costs.
I am in a similar situation myself. Heartbroken is a good way to put it.
Unless the mother is deemed to be "incompetent" and cannot manage her finances, it's her money and she can do with it what she pleases. Is older brother taking advantage of her? Perhaps. Depending on the level of care, retirement homes can be "that expensive". I think they are past the point of no return with regards to saving the house. Ramsey folks are jumping to a lot of conclusions here. This caller needs to sit down with Mom and Brother and hash all of this out. If they refuse to do so, he can either make the attorneys rich or he can accept the situation and move on with his life with the knowledge that he tried. When money is involved, family members tend to show their true colors...
Makes you wonder what justifies a retirement home charging $10k a month. Medical care is not that expensive for the facility. That’s the basic price gouging in our medical system.
@@barnabusdoyle4930If I heard it right on the video I think he said the retirement home plus the mortgage for the home. Retirement places are so expensive now
@@barnabusdoyle4930There are different levels of retirement homes including assisted living and nursing homes. Nursing homes provided 24/7 medical care which is not cheap, so it's not uncommon for them to cost over $10k/month.
Let's do some simple back of the napkin math to see how it works out. A typical NP makes a median salay of $120k which is closer to a cost to employer of $135k-$140k including taxes and benefits. Let's assume one nurse for each 5 patients, and 3 nursing shifts per day. Most states require either a 1:2 up to about a 1:8 ratio, depending on the state. This gives a cost per patient of $7k per month for just the labor costs. Add in cost of housing, food, and supplies, and you quickly get to close to $10k/month. Now sure, some will be RNs ($90k salary) or CNAs ($40k salary), but the point is that you can very quickly get to some pretty high monthly figures.
@@barnabusdoyle4930well I thought I heard him say the combination of the MORTGAGE and the medical home was $10k. Why an 88yo has a mortgage is a different story. Why she’s using every last dime she has to hold on to both is a choice.
@@barnabusdoyle4930 $10k a month is for both the house mortgage and the mother's living expenses. The brother already got the money from the house refi is my bet.
Hi! Long term care ombudsman here. Agreed. It sounds like older adult protective services should be called.
wow. thanks for comenting we had to do this with my grandmother
I made sure my step dad after my mom passing wouldn't have to ask anyone for help. He had worked hard until his cancer battle. The stress caused my to get sick and passed away 1st. They had money in bank and rental property income. I spoke with the the MD Anderson Center to ask what the cost would be for his visits. I made sure he was comfortable financially and he had his spending money, until his passing. Yes, we all have those siblings and it's hard to get them to stop spending our elderly parents money 😢.
Trust me Rather it be siblings or family members instead of online love scammers. In most cases the family might use it for better things. Instead of those online scammers feeding lies and demanding money be sent to them.
I am actually going through something like this. The elder brother wants control instead of worrying about the well-being of their mother. He probably wasn't around when needed but swooped in to be the savior. Sad situation and unfortunately the only way for this to be rectified is either through the court or her passing. If you don't have the funds then you know how this will probably end. I have completely disowned him and his family.
Sorry I don't mean to comment on what you are going through. And O am sorry to hear your heart. My mother is also being financially screwed by her sister. My mother has MS and her sister found a doctor named Dr.Hurwitz of Virginia who has had his license revoked prior to my mothers sister facilitated the 6 hour drives to VA to get her hooked on opioids to the point ahead got addicted and was unable to talk. Then my mother's sister had her sign Power of attorney and my mother was severely under the influence of these medications she does not even remember seeing them. She has asked for a copy of what she signed and she would not give it to her. I believe my mother's sister was trying to kill my mother. Her sister is a criminal and I need someone to talk to as I am a sole father without any help and need someone who cares. If anyone has heart please reach out to me. Thank you
Glad my parents consulted an attorney in their 60s so they could secure everything.
Wiping your hands is the best advice. John is on it.
My mom is paying 10K for 24 hour care in an adult family home, but that's the going rate around here for someone with very high needs, but thankfully she can afford it. She broke her neck last year. She very aware and hates that it's so expensive but even if we quit our jobs to take care of her we couldn't physically do it.
I am sorry this happened. It is a lot to handle.
I've been waiting for someone to say this. $10k is the going rate for even assisted living, depending on the area. The older brother might be doing something shady, but the price isn't the evidence. If she's in assisted living, she's there for a reason and so won't be coming back out ever again. This is a very tough situation and I will be praying for them. We had it easy. My parents made financial arrangements for their care several years before it was needed, and my mother made sure there was more than one with power of attorney. May they rest in peace.
The $10k is for the house, she refinanced it, and the nursing home. And the money that she has left in the bank accounts for way more than $10k/month
wow... this conversation is in EVERY family at one time or other... excellent example of family dynamics and the issues that families face no matter the financial situation... family decisions are very difficult and emotional... for the younger audience pay attention to this video !!!
My parents had 39 acreas of land. As a single parent I helped my mom, took my mom places when my sister did not. About 4 years after dad died my mom did a will for land to be halved after her death. Around 5 years later my sister got her to do a deed of trust so my sister and her son got the land.I knew there was no way to fight it. I spoke my peace to my mom and eventually walked away. Have not spoke to sister since moms death 12 years ago, regret helping my parents when sister would not.
88 yrs old why does she still have a mortgage.
Reality unfortunately
90% the loser son borrowed against the value of the property
People in comments were not paying attention to this man telling that part
She refinanced
It was outlined that about 10 years prior the mortgage was refinanced - a line of equity taken out since the older Brother was having money issues.
10k a month sounds correct for a retirement home
We kept all of our elders in house and took rounds caring for them. I always appreciated the fact that we made them more comfortable and have family around (probably extended their years) but now I appreciate that we weren’t wasting $10k a month…wow.
@@angeleyes3386It's great to be able to do that, but a lot of us aren't able to. my mom lives in California and we don't have to pay anywhere near 10K a month, these people must be living in some nice places.
@@angeleyes3386ok but not everyone can do that
@@angeleyes3386 We were not so lucky - after a dementia episode mom was found 10 blocks from our home, I found her took her to the hospital and the doctors intervened and ordered her into assisted living.
It is when you include a mortgage payment
I wish these had updates
There are some parents who like the evil of two children better. Sad, but true!
I mean that's pretty much in every relationship
I would like to suggest it is the first child syndrome. The youngest isn't always the favorite or spoiled. That first kid is gold.
@@joannaa.5101 but every family is different
True story. It’s dysfunctional codependency.
My son says my mom in her mind thought my sister and her kids did no wrong and me and my sons did everything bad.........but it was exactly the opposite.
That brothers trying to keep that 15 acres.
The guys need to check current costs for residential elder care. It is really that bad.
It cost my mother almost $10,000 per month for skilled nursing care.
Doesn't matter...if she's in her right mind, there's nothing he can do.
*This sounds like a her and her fav son problem*
I know a lady who I was told is a financial genius back in 1980. Now 43y later she is broke. She has SS and her second mortgage is $2500 a month.
She’s about to lose her house that she
Bought in 1977 !!!! Should have been paid off in 2007 and she could have been stacking cash for 16yrs. LoL.
Complete train wreck
Mike should see an attorney with the goal of formally wiping his hands of all liability from when this train derails. See an attorney.
Maybe if Mike's brother is just aware that legal action is being considered, maybe he'll be scared enough into revealing this "plan" so Mike can know what's going on. Maybe that 15 acres should be sold, forget about fixing up the house, and that money put into some sort of account safe from the possibly manipulating brother.
Really need an estate planner for these types of things, she might not be able to sell the house once she is behind payments in the nursing home, there are all sorts of complex things involved l, like having to basically drain all assets and accounts before she qualifies for state aid etc...these things are usually a mess...speaking from experience
The 10,000 a month burn rate sounds like she lives in a retirement home in California. My MIL was placed in assisted living by her doctors, and it was costing us $12,676 a month.
Watched the whole video. What a sad predicament this guy is in! Bless his heart. I liked how the team gave him options with compassion & insight without trying to help him decide 👍
She's either manipulated the brother to believe that she has a lot more cushion than she has. Ooooor the brother has a vested interest in the trust & house based on what mom has said.
Sounds like this dude is the only one living in reality.
Once mom runs out of money, she will go to live with the favorite brother or she will be forced to rely on Medicaid. Medicare does not pay for long term care in nursing homes or assisted living. A Medicaid lien will be put on the property and when she dies, Medicaid will get whatever is owed them and, if there is anything left (sounds like there won't be), it will go to whoever inherits.
This gentleman should butt out where he is not wanted. He can get an early start on the grieving process of losing mom, which apparently happened long ago.
Hospitals, pharmaceutical companies, and rest homes receive most peoples' inheritance. Sometimes family members become, people you used to know.
Of course the money is needed to pay for those things
It's not free
If people expect an "inheritance" these days most are sadly mistaken
@@ykook7000mom went to the home almost 4 years ago. If the family intent is to sell the property it shouldn’t have taken 4 years to make it sell ready.
I'd talk to mom one more time, if everything is to remain a secret I'd walk away. Call you on Christmas day and your birthday mom, love you! BTW, good luck on your finances cause not a nickel will I pay to support you.
Easier said than done
@kbanghart
Not really.
Oh, how convenient for the younger brother! Not his problem. Dump it on the older brother. There are a whole lot of us caring for older family members that would like to just walk away. I’m sure it would be great for the older brother if a responsible, younger brother would offer to help out instead of trying to grab the money. It seems most of you on this board have no idea how hard the things the older brother is doing. It is a total nightmare.
The caller did everything possible. He has a clear conscious. The older brother will take care of mom and she will be happy. She will still be your mom always.
No he won't! He's been stealing from the mom.The younger brother will end up having to rescue her and who knows if he has enough to do so.
@@darlenepaul2918 That is a harsh assessment and makes it very clear you have NO understanding of the cost of a carehome.
$10,000 per month for a care home and the cost of a mortgage...is not stealing from mom. That is a very real cost. Until mom gets down to just having $5000 in the bank, then the care home is paid by medicaid and the house will be sold to re-imburse medicaid.
I worked in assisted living between 2010 and 2017. The cost was crazy. They required a down payment of 250k and a monthly rent of 10k just for a little room without a full bath. This was the dementia unit.
That's not even worth it.
Great Podcast
if he chooses to try to help his mom, he can contact the state agency regarding elder care...and they will look into the brother's accounts and the mom's accounts, as well as her health and wellness. Or, he can walk away and leave the dust to settle. (I suspect he won't walk away...and I certainly hope not)
Here’s a question, why in the world does it cost about $10k a month to stay in a retirement home? It would be cheaper to live at a 5 star hotel and have medical staff visit.
Well, having medical staff visit is a lot different than 24/7 care in a very good elder care home. However, I also question the cost, my mom has dementia and needs a lot of care, she's not paying anywhere near 10K and she lives in California.
@@kbanghart I used to work in healthcare before the vaccine mandates. There is no reason long term care should cost what it does.
@@barnabusdoyle4930I lived in a hotel for several months; it was about $4000/month. Breakfast was the only meal served and I did my own laundry. My dad's advanced assisted living was $9500/month. That included three meals per day, laundry, and staff doing everything except feeding him--showering, dressing, toileting, and he needed a machine to be lifted out of bed. He needed staff on-call 24 hours/day. And it was one of the nicer facilities in town....lots of life enrichment opportunities. Facilities also have social workers and this facility also had clergy. Hiring an aide, which I did when he needed to be accompanied to an appointment, is about $30/hour. His patient advocate, an RN, was $70/hour. If one were to hire personal aides to be available 24 hours/day that would be about $21,000/month, and that wouldn't include household expenses.
If you are in a 5 star hotel with a hospital bed and hoister lift and 24/7 access to skilled nursing staff, that's going to be more expensive.
@@kbanghartCalifornia actually subsidies elderly care quite a bit, so you get more out of your money. California is actually a great state to retire in a home. Staffing and houses are better than anything else I have seen so far.
The biggest stress in life is dealing with aging parents. The worst!!!!
If family doesn't take it Medicare would. Living in a nursing home/ALF will clean you out. She like the other brother more cause he's around. Everybody assumes the siblings are stealing most likely there's a little bit of that.
Yes, $10000 a month is what it costs. She is definitely in a memory care unit if she almost burned the house down. The big secret is that the mother is not doing so great and that the caller is doing armchair coaching without seeing how bad it is.
The brother is stealing. The amount of money spent far exceeds the cost of her expenses
@@hollystiener16 Based on what? Do you have any idea the costs of a ALF or nursing facility on a memory care unit? Everyone assumes the other kids are stealing without any proof or clue what's going on.
I wouldn't admit to stealing someone's mail on national radio...
If your own mother has said she likes your brother more, that’s when you 100% remove yourself from the equation. That’s a blessing in disguise. She isn’t your responsibility at that point and there is no financial burden or obligation on you. Let people reap what they sow.
One of my grandparents kinda did this to get into some kinda assistance program. Her health was getting bad so she decided to burn through all of her money. Sell her house etc. She got into a care facility and it cost her very little because of it. It may have not been a good idea. Idk. But it worked out for her.
But another one of my grandparents did a little bit like what's happening with this guy. He for some reason got really overly attached to his youngest child. You'd call him up to talk but he almost always was busy doing something for her. And never could talk much. Or do anything with. He'd make up excuses. And there would be times where we would give him money and it felt like it went to her. There was just some strange things like that. He died a few years ago. He still had a fair amount left. But us as a family always have wondered what on earth went on. We didn't take strong actions like with lawyers because there wasn't obvious signs of any kinda elder abuse. There were just a lot of suspicion.
Whether the brother is incompetent or whether he is doing something nefarious doesn't matter. He is acting like a guardian and he is mismanaging things. The caller needs to see a lawyer and discuss what options he has to protect his mother.
She needs to follow George's 3% rule to make it through this. 😊
Let the brother and Mom take care of things .The caller is not liable for her expenses .Their isn’t any money left now anyway.
My mom has told me multiple times that my sister is her favorite child. This call scares me cause I love my mom and I am forever chasing for her approval. I know it’s not healthy for me. My mom has little savings and I brought up Dave Ramsey to her and she was just like whatever. I’m praying that this isn’t going to be me when her time comes to decline
I’m in the same predicament… I decided it wasn’t worth financially breaking the bank to find out the truth… truth it’s self is ruthless… you see it’s the perpetrator who has to live the lie.. while everyone knows the truth… silence accompanied with calmness… is a good way to say your piece without conflict
Dude, just casually commits on live air that he committed a felony by tampering with somebody else’s mail
The fire accident was the red flag. He should have brought the lawyer then.
Leave your mother to her choices. Wipe your hands of it. I'm from a family and a culture that really honors elders, and I'll do whatever I can for my dear parents. However, you've tried to help, Mom abused you and has made it clear she has a favorite. She's made her bed. Let her lie in it.
I agree
Well either he should wipe his hands of this mess and allow his brother to steal everything… or he goes to a lawyer and call adult protective services
I would be wiping my hands of the situation.
If they don't want his help then he should not be so concerned about providing it.
Yep walk away and don't be there to pick up any pieces afterwards either
@@ykook7000 correct.
If they don't what his help then its no longer his problem.
Mike, we know you love ❤️ your mother....but you need to walk away.
I would call DHR to investigate on financial exploitation
10k a month seems like what a nursing home cost I think last time my mom looked into it for my mawmaw it was like 70k a year
never fool with money.. thats adult time !! pull your socks up and deal man to man with that guy !!
Family's and siblings. Heartbreaking: just walk away. Greed one dollar will sink a ship. Caller just swallow - reality bites. People and families are maddening.
So did I hear him correct? He is taking her mail? That is a federal offense. He better watch what the heck he's doing.
I wish there was an update on these calls 😭
He should leave them to themselves and save up money for when the shit hits the fan. Call the mother regularly and discuss anything but money unless she brings it up.
If they're keeping him out of everything, how does he know all this information? Does he realize how much a mortgage on home with acreage and a nursing home costs?! If he was so concerned, why didn't he do something about it 10 years ago when she refinance?, its also possible she might not have had very much money and did a reverse mortgage on the property and used that money to live on and now the money's run out. So many questions.
Just a thought to respect her wish unless she asks for advice and carry on with life, maybe even move farther away and let them all figure it out. Don't stress yourself over it, they may see your weakness and take advantage of you, if they are the manipulative covert narcissist type. I'm a people pleaser by nature and learned boundaries with toxic people. They see my weakness as a payday. So boundaries keep them in check and me at peace. Blessings!
I've been thinking about this one, and I find I continue to wonder what this man thinks he's doing. Both his mother and his brother are pretty much telling him it's not his business, but he keeps trying to insert himself. I can't believe it's just about "saving" his mother. Everyone seems to think the older brother is up to no good---and he might be---but we only see this one side of it. I think there's more to this story.
Of course it is about saving his mother.
I think the brother is using the money.
I think the brother has taken a lot of her money and that's what's going on and that's why they don't wanna talk about it
Money is the route all evil, I was frozen out of my Dads day to day years before he died. my broke sister had her hand in his pockets for the last decade of his life.
"For the LOVE of money is A root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." -1 Timothy 6:10 (as in the OP, this is a most frequently misquoted verse in scripture)
In addition, "route" is a way, a pathway; "root" is a source. The two sound the same and have different meanings. Interesting usage in this context.
It is the way people handle money and their greed, not money itself
It sounds possible that the brother is an enabler and maybe that’s why she favors him.
Definitely can tell the brothers relationship has been complicated for a long ass time. Hes clearly ok washing his hands of this situation with his mom, he just wants everyone else to know hes great and the brother is not. Hes fishing for that validation
Been there ..done that...best thing I did
Who cares if she trusts him get a lawyer and do what u need to do to protect ur mom.
It is very clear the brother is going to take all of his mom‘s money and just like this guy pointed out. The mom is saying she is going to die and all this will go away to her. She doesn’t care about that money and clearly has chosen the older brother to receive it all. I wouldn’t be surprised if the older brother is now the owner of everything And the little brother has no idea that they already did this and he will receive nothing once his mom passes away that is why the mom does not care and the brother is spending the $10,000 a month or it’s just being transferred over to him, but clearly the older brother is going to Gamea good amount of money well, technically is already getting
I wonder what the brother said to make his relationship strained with the Mom. They used to hang out together and suddenly it changed after he decided to be around.
Sounds like he is stealing your mothers money.
Neither this guy, his brother, or his mother are ready to face reality. He needs to stop yakking and take action. It's like he's sitting in his house that's on fire, and all he wants to do is talk about it.
Fortunately the caller seems just about ready to do something
I mean the guy just admitted to a felony on national radio trying to get to the bottom of it.
@@nailatiylluf felony?
@@kbanghartstealing his mom's mail
@@zanneizzo8113 oh. Didn't think he actually did it yet though, just talking about it. I would probably do the same
The brother has definitely been milking the mother for money that's why he's being so secretive
He should let them lose everything. Some people only learn the hard way. Especially family. They don’t listen.
I just heard the tail end of this but if the older brother is her executor his responsibility doesn't kick in yet since she's not passed away. A unlimited Power of Attorney or limited Power of Attorney should be established on her behalf. Unless in the state you reside an executor and POA serve the same purpose. I am not in any way shape or form an attorney or lawyer or paralegal. I watch too much Matlock and L.A. Law.
She should lose everything so she can get on medicaid to stay at nursing home
Many elderly retirement ‘communities’ will not accept Medicare. His mother might be forced to move into a facility that accepts Medicare after she’s forced to impoverish herself. It sounds like the brother is going to force this reality to happen very quickly.
Medicare, or skilled nursing, works more like an insurance and is temporary. Getting her on medicaid would be the best thing for her at this point imo.
@@marchosch3876It's become reality. No, bitterness, I'm positive.
@@jonathangamble Medicaid might be more difficult for her to access as long as the house and 15 acres of land is in her name/control.
@@probablynot1368 - Not if they need the land to pay off other debts... you also would generally pay cash for medical care until there is nothing left to get on medicaid... better than a corrupt brother stealing it and her not getting medical help
Take her in and that’s it.
Nobody mentioned that the mother is probably not of sound mind!! He said she almost burnt the house down. Sounds like cognitive decline and the brother is taken advantage of that. Mother will now have to go on Medicaid and live in a Medicaid facility 😢
You guys are really unaware of how much care homes cost! $10,000 a month covering a care home and paying Mom's mortgage is not extreme, at all. Until mom gets down to just having $5000 in the bank, then the care home is paid by medicaid and the house will be sold to re-imburse medicaid.
no place charges 10k a month... maybe 3k ive seen she aint rich to pay that !!! you gotta sit dow with the brother.. figure this out.. he could be pocketing the other 7 k goin towards the supposed old folks home... each month... incredible!!!!!!
Maybe where you are living, or you haven’t checked since COVID. 8-10k is normal big city.
@@jabow1878 I live in the third most expensive city in western Canada.. I'm aware of the costs.. this is an independent living situation.. who can afford much more ?? ???? What cities do u see charging that much ?
@@primalfury2011just looked up the average cost of independent living in Madison, WI -- it's $6200/month. My dad's advanced assisted living was $9500/month. I don't believe the caller specified that she was in independent living--a lot of people apply the term 'retirement' to various types of facilities
I guess that families don't take out their trash any more.
This call made me so angry!! The brother who actually is caring for the mother, and not just “telling her what to do” from afar, when she has NO capacity to do anything for herself anymore… so his father died 15 years ago? Where has he been for 15 years? Just pretending that mom was fine in the house with 15 acres? While it fell into terrible disrepair? He seems to be hiding behind the fact that “she said she didn’t want to leave… “ But she almost burned the house down?? It looks to me like the brother who is caring for the mother actually got involved in her situation. He is probably WAY in over his head. It is no small thing to break down a house, essentially dissolve the possessions and estate, and get the house on the market. And then put into place plans for elder care. I do NOT side with this caller. I think he is an uninvolved narcissist, who is way too late to the game, and at this point maybe needs to find a way he can HELP. it sounds like he plans to burst in all disgusted with these idiots who didn’t know what they were doing, and grab the reins. Here he comes to save the day! He is an uninvolved narcissist, who didn’t have a clue how bad things had gotten with his mother and her situation. I think the brother who is caring for the mother is right to keep him out of the situation. Many on this board will tell you that what will happen is mom’s assets will be sold, all of her money will go to her elder care, and she will transition onto Medicaid pay for the rest of her life. And there will be no inheritance. and that’s just how it is.
If this brilliant caller had wanted a different outcome, he should have gotten involved when his father died, and set up a better situation for the mother’s future. Her assets could have been put into a trust, and protected. But they weren’t. And he’s blaming someone else. It obviously wasn’t his problem. He dumped it on his brother. And now things are not going well.
Goodness, I hope I’m not the only one in these comments who can see what’s really going on here. I just finished this terrible scenario myself, with a wonderfully supportive, brother and sister. This caller is not a wonderful, supportive brother.
You missed the part in the beginning where he said he used to do things for her, but it became a fun brother/mean brother scenario. He would tell mom what she needs and brother encouraged her to do whatever she wanted. He was basically cut off when she went t into the home.
Very sad situation, wonder why Delony had to include how he has an impeccable brother while speaking with a fella who is having such a difficult time with his own brother?
just adding insult to injury..
I think he wanted to use what he would do in his situation, but also wanted to make sure that no one ran off with the idea that his brother is a POS.
It’s pretty clear why he did that… he wanted to make sure people didn’t think his brother was a bad person!
@@flashthecorgi2053 he didn't say anything about his brother after mentioning how great his brother was, it wasn't necessary.
He needs to be gone, all we need is Dave, Rachel and George.
@@TeresaS-q7xumm no Delony is amazing and is saving so many lives. Again, he just wanted to make sure people knew his brother would never do something like that. It’s not insult to injury contrary to what you think!
@@flashthecorgi2053 contrary to what you say, he said absolutely nothing about his brother except to say how great he was and would never do such a thing, go back and watch the video.
Where is David.
My in-laws did this to my husbands parents
Insightful view into family values within the Western European Culture. Everything from moving elders into old folks homes to stealing inheritances.
it's the American way
@@cutehumorNo. Only in some families. Most keep family at home as long as can be done. AFL are a last resort.
Let me ask, would you be able to care for someone who needs care around the clock on your own? Keep in mind, you also would have to prepare meals for them, take care of the housework, and manage their finances, while also managing your own life. I'm sure you know that in the US, most children come from divorced homes and have poor relationships with their parents and siblings....that's because of the parents--the parents who will one day need the children who they didn't really raise.
@@RepentImmediately Any decent parent would answer yes. In some cultures it is considered a privilege bestowed on the eldest son to care for the parents.
Not judging.
@@harrychu650yeah right every elderly person has high care dementia or Alzheimer's these days good luck trying to care in your own home without professional assistance....
Lol also how many "eldest SONS" actually care for elderly parents !?
It's usually the daughter or daughters in law and you know it
I wonder why their videos are constantly so short. They constantly seem to rush all their calls.
This is a radio show, they have hard breaks they have to take every 8-9 minutes.
@flashthecorgi2053 I know it's a radio show. However, everything seems rushed , there're plenty of radio shows who does the samething and take times ( like 15 to 20 minutes) .
I am positive they could enhance their amount of time for each caller.
@@timmymiron2727 For this one they take breaks every 8-9 minutes. I’m not in the radio business so I don’t know why it’s that strict but it is!
@flashthecorgi2053 as I said, they could do better, but I mentioned this because I love the show, and most of the time, I would love more context
@@timmymiron2727 i totally get that! I think it would be fair too, but I also understand their sponsors have to get air time. Also, the personalities go out and meet people in their break time as well so I think it’s to accommodate them as well.
Why is she keeping the house if she's in a facility? Do she and her sons actually believe that as she gets older she's going suddenly become well enough to live in her house again?
My dad had some very unrealistic ideas about recovery when he was bedridden and essentially dying.
The brother is either living there or renting it out for money
Sounds like that brother was destined to get all the money anyway, I would leave it for him to figure it out
The conversation ended when he said the mom liked the other sibling more 😂 Why does this dude even care about his mom OR his snakey brother anymore? Abandon them both and live your life in peace.
Yes he needs to do this cause it will not change but I can tell him one thing it will hurt him so bad when she dies for the very reason she never did and cannot tell him after her death that she was sorry how she did him. I know I went through that in 2011 with my mom. Do/did I feel quilty...no..only thing I felt or wished is that I'd never done anything for her or to help her after I became a adult.
File for Conservatorship of the Estate. If brother has powers, show cause how he’s not acting in the fiduciary interest of mom.
Why does she still have a mortgage at age 88
She refinanced the home 10 years ago, according to the caller. I was also surprised when he said she was still making mortgage payments.