I'm going through the replies here to try to get rid of the crappy ones -- I'm sure more will crop up or I'll miss some, so I also want to add to anyone reading this: There will always be trolls and jerks and people who don't get it. Don't let them ruin your day or your life. What they say about it being impossible to find people who will respect you or befriend you is false! I'm 26 years old, have a Bachelors degree and a Masters degree, have a lovely wife, and have so many people in my life who do indeed love and respect me! You can embrace who you are, you can explore your gender and even have fun with it, you can pick whatever pronouns feel right to you and help you convey a bit of yourself to the world, and those who say you're doing something wrong or foolish can't do a thing about it. You're okay. In fact, you're wonderful. You're part of what makes humanity so beautiful -- part of the diversity that helps us all thrive. We need you.
I guess the more common pronouns are easy to understand, but “noun-self” pronouns feel a little odd to me. Like I’m not trying to disrespect anyone but I just don’t understand taking words that already exist and are used often, and just giving them I completely different context.
I completely understand pronouns like ze/zim or zhe/xer but and really stumped about pronouns like bug/bugs. In no way am I trying to disrespect anyone, I just need help understanding them. In my mind they seem more like nicknames rather than pronouns I guess. It would be rlly healpful if someone explained :) EDIT!!! At the end of the day it doesnt matter if someone uses neoprounons since they dont affect you. Be respectful and have a good day
Hi! Those kinds of neopronouns are usually called "nounself" pronouns. I believe they're just another way to get creative with one's pronouns and have fun with it, which some people like to do! Gender can be really hard to explain even to oneself, and some folks find that comparing their gender to another thing can be helpful for them when they try to explain what their gender is "like." For instance, one might say "my gender is like water in how it flows and fluctuates and is hard to grasp," and decide to use nounself pronouns like "aqua/aquas" to emphasize that. Apparently nounself pronouns can be difficult for certain people to get a handle on (such as people who speak English as a second language and some neurodivergent folks), so it's "good etiquette" to offer an alternative pronoun set when you use nounself pronouns (source: nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Nounself_pronouns).
@@tarin6083 Not everyone looks like you, Not everyone "passes" as "cis". I don't get what you are arguing here? Your looks don't tell me your PREFERRED pronouns. Just let people live. They are not making the community look bad. What makes the community look bad is people who constantly shit on those in their group, refusing to listen, invalidating them, and treating them poorly. *Xenogenders, and Neopronouns have existed for LONG times. Gender is a social construct that can vary based on the society.*
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers I've heard alot of nerodivergant people like those kinds of pronouns becuse gender can be confusing for them to really explain Wich makes since
I know you didn't talk about this directly, but I still think this is a good place to ask this question. What I'm confused about is how calling someone ae/aer or xe/xem is essential to alleviate dysphoria. Non-binary gender dysphoria makes sense. You're not a man or a woman, so you get dysphoria from being called both he/him and she/her. They/them is there as a consequence of you not having any other available pronouns. You get dysphoria from being called a gender you aren't, and they/them doesn't have a gender so it wouldn't effect anyone's dysphoria. This means that they/them works for everyone, regardless of gender or if they're cis/trans. Call a transguy them? That's fine. Call a cis woman them? That's fine too. I don't understand why this doesn't apply to some non-binary people. You mentioned that they/them is still connected to the binary. I don't understand how, it's gender neutral.
Good questions. My first suggestion to you is to start trying to transform your framework around trans people from simply being about "alleviating dysphoria" -- associating being trans solely with suffering or disorder -- and imagining what other reasons on top of dysphoria different trans people have for living into their authentic selves. For example, I personally wouldn't say being referred to with ze/zir pronouns alleviates my dysphoria -- but it does absolutely add to my sense of gender euphoria!! A sense of rightness and being truly seen and understood by someone else. I recommend doing a little research on that concept of "gender euphoria." Also, I would strongly disagree that it is always appropriate to refer to a trans man or a trans woman with they pronouns. Some are fine with it, yes -- others see it as an intentional refusal to refer to them with the pronouns typically associated with their gender. For example, I have a friend who's a trans woman who has had this problem at her workplace -- there are non-accepting coworkers who know that if they call her "he," she can report them to HR; but they've realized that if they stick to "they" pronouns, they can avoid calling her "she" as she requests and it's harder for her to do anything about it. She sees it as a denial of her gender just as much as being called "he," because she's told them to stop and to please call her "she" and they refuse. As to they pronouns being tied to the binary -- I think that concept can be debated, absolutely; there are plenty of people who use they pronouns who won't agree with that concept. But as a linguist, I see the "gender neutrality" of they pronouns (which you yourself pointed out, calling them gender neutral), as indicative of one or two things among the dominant population: 1) an moving from the gender binary into a gender trinary, with anyone at all who uses they pronouns being labeled as a single "third gender" whether they would agree with that labeling or not; or 2) an avoidance of expanding the gender binary outward into an enormous and more amorphous spectrum by simply squeezing a "neutral" category in between the "male" end of the binary and the "female" end -- and thus labelling all they/them users as being themselves "neutral," "androgynous," or "agender," whether they would agree with those labels or not. By expanding sets of pronouns from just three options (she, he, or they) into limitless options, we're challenging that binary or trinary supposition. We're using language to show that some of us are not gender neutral, but genderfull; not just a third gender, but all sorts of wonderful genders, some of which defy neat labels. Do listen, though, to my big caveat here: all of this is not to say that every user of they/them pronouns is adhering to the gender binary by using them. I am NOT saying that it's somehow less radical or progressive or something to use they/them pronouns instead of neopronouns. I myself am a genderfull, genderqueer person whose main pronoun set is they/them, and I therefore resist the insistence that they/them is inherently "neutral"! What I am saying is that if you study linguistically how the dominant (read: cisgender, cisheteronormative) population conceive of they/them pronouns, that's what you'll find. All of us who find ourselves outside the cisgender norms are resisting and challenging those viewpoints, whatever pronouns we use.
If being transgender means that you do not identify exclusively with the gender you were assigned at birth, then a nonbinary person can also be trans! I myself claim both labels -- I do not at all identify with the gender I was assigned at birth; at the same time, I'm not a man. So I am trans, AND nonbinary.
@@uncoolloser6233 transgender is just not identifying with what gender you were assigned at birth I'm binary people are not identifying as a gender they were assigned as birth hence the reason why they're under the trends umbrella there just not in the bianary genders
i am cis and a female, but i feel comfortable with all pronouns. i want people to know this, but i just don't care what pronouns are used for me. (usually i even prefer for people to use more than one pronoun on me.) i don't want attention, nor do i want to seem special or something. is this dumb, and, more importantly, is it okay too put all three pronouns in my bio?
By all means, feel free to put multiple pronouns in your bio! As you're a cis person who uses multiple pronouns, I would say it's important for you to be a vocal advocate for trans and nonbinary folks who likewise use multiple pronouns -- if you hear people saying crap about how it's "attention seeking," shut them down! You can be part of the normalization of using multiple pronouns + using they pronouns, etc. Which is great!
I really would like to discuss pronouns that are actual objects, and like nouns. I’ve seen people with pire/pirate/pirateself and pog/pogself. It’s hard to not to balk at those but I really do want to understand. I get they/them and the other phonetic sounding ones like ey/em or ze/zir but the objectual ones seem almost ridiculous. I do not want to police anyone’s pronouns and I will always respect and call someone what they want to be called so can someone please help me understand the mindset and reasoning behind objectual neopronouns.
Hi! I'm pasting my response to someone else with a similar question here. Those kinds of neopronouns are usually called "nounself" pronouns. I believe they're just another way to get creative with one's pronouns and have fun with it, which some people like to do! Gender can be really hard to explain even to oneself, and some folks find that comparing their gender to another thing can be helpful for them when they try to explain what their gender is "like." For instance, one might say "my gender is like water in how it flows and fluctuates and is hard to grasp," and decide to use nounself pronouns like "aqua/aquas" to emphasize that. Apparently nounself pronouns can be difficult for certain people to get a handle on (such as people who speak English as a second language and some neurodivergent folks), so it's "good etiquette" to offer an alternative pronoun set when you use nounself pronouns (source: nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Nounself_pronouns).
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers hey, while I don't want to make someone uncomfortable by using the wrong pronoun, I have severe adhd that makes it so hard to keep track of what both myself and others are saying. I can say I'll try my best, but I'll always end up using "they" over neopronouns when given the option, and nounself pronouns are too much for me to understand entirely. also, some of the pronouns I've been seeing people use on the internet make me uncomfortable; I feel weird calling a teen "kitten". I hope this makes sense.
i know these aren’t neopronouns but would you be willing to break down / explain the she/they pronoun? i’ve been seeing a lot of people use it now in the media and i really like it (it makes me feel very comfortable) but i don’t want to identify as it without truly understanding it
Hi yes! So just to clarify, you're talking about when you see someone have "she/they" or maybe "he/they" in their bio, or someone who says "I use she and they pronouns," right? If that's not what you're talking about let me know haha and I'll try again. But assuming that is what you're talking about, what that means is that person is comfortable with people referring to them using she/her/hers, OR they/them/theirs! Any kind of person might be comfortable with both they and she pronouns, but most commonly such people tend to be nonbinary folks who are somehow woman-aligned: maybe they're genderfluid, or bigender with "woman" and "nonbinary"/"agender"/etc. being their two genders.....these are only some examples of persons who might use both she and they, rather than an exhaustive list. If you are someone who feels comfortable or affirmed when people refer to you with both she pronouns and they pronouns, then that's awesome -- go for it!! There are lots of people who are fine with multiple sets of pronouns -- like I mention in the video, I am cool with either they/them or ze/hir pronouns. If I wanted, I could also write that as they/ze in a bio.
If you feel comfortable with those pronouns, use them! :D This is coming from a cisgender female who uses she/they, btw. In my opinion you don’t have to be non-binary or trans to use they pronouns.
okay so she/they for me means that I like it when people mix my pronouns, for example " That girl is named wren they are 15 years old. She has 5 birds, and they can cook very well." You use the pronouns like that is what I know of
I have a question: there's a big focus in trans activism on gender not being a choice, but then with pronouns it's clear that people do get to pick and choose whatever pronouns feel comfortable. I've heard that's because pronouns don't equal gender, but I guess as a cis person I don't really understand that concept? So if anyone has any resources or cares to explain that would be amazing :)
Good question! You can recognize that you're not a man or a woman, and still have to explore different language options for what words /do/ fit your gender, ya know? Because gender is something so innate and pretty abstract, it can be really hard to find the right words to explain it -- especially when we are not raised with options for what we COULD be outside of exclusively man or exclusively woman, so that we have to seek out answers for ourselves. So while gender is often understood to be "not a choice" or innate, pronouns and other words are just the human language we've come up with to describe those things. People explore different pronouns, try on different ones till they find some that feel right, because it's all about finding the pronouns that feel like they match your innate sense of gender -- and so yeah, it is a matter of finding ones that "feel comfortable." Cis folks do similar things -- say you're a cisgender woman and you've just gotten married. You're trying to decide whether you prefer people to call you Mrs. or Ms. [last name]. There's not technically a right or wrong answer -- it's subjective; it's about what feels comfortable to you, and/or matches your personal ideology around those honorifics. Your innate sense of being a woman did not change, but you still had to figure out what words best suited that innate sense.
i honestly dont know, languages that are based in the gender binary are inherently non-binaryphobic (?) and sadly theres no real way to escape the binary in hebrew and other extremely gendered languages
Nonbinary native speakers (and sometimes non-native speakers) of various languages, including Hebrew, come up with creative ways to make their languages work for them! I actually have an article for Hebrew in particular - www.them.us/story/queer-inclusive-judaism If you google any given language and add something like "nonbinary pronouns" to your search, you can find out what speakers of that language are coming up with! An option I've seen frequently in heavily gendered languages like Hebrew is to ask people to alternate between the masculine and feminine pronouns when speaking about you. In English that would look like "Do you know Ben? She's pretty cool, I was going to invite him to the party." I speak Spanish as a second language and what I ask people to do for me in Spanish (and I've seen other nonbinary folks do this too) is to replace the "a" or "o" on the end of many adjectives with an "e" -- so things like "Avery es baje" instead of "bajo" or "baja." Doesn't work for every word tho. And for pronouns, use ele instead of ella or él. I've also seen elle. So yeah, so many cool things are going on in nonbinary communities in all sorts of languages! It makes me so happy to learn about! Languages are made to help us communicate; when they fail to communicate what we want them to, it's super cool that we're able to come up with ways to improve them. That's why I'm such a fan of things like neopronouns.
Thank you for this, my friend just came out to me saying that xey wanted to use neopronouns and I didn't really know anything about it!! Of course I'm completely accepting, I just didn't know too much!
my crush is getting into the neopronouns. I am familiar with nonbinary people, I'm good with saying correct pronouns. Neopronouns are new to me and for my crush I would do anything. Thank you for explaining so I can use it correctly.
Hey, I really liked your video! I just wanted to point out that the timestamps you put in the description starting at 5:46 and 13:27 are mixed up. Anyway, have a nice day!
Hey! I have a friend who is trans but is against nounself pronouns and when he told me abt them I agreed that it sounded wack but after watching this and doing research I think there’s nothing wrong with it really? But I’m also a cis female- yet I want to educate my trans friend bc they might just not have done a tone of research, but I don’t want to come across like I’m telling a member of the trans community how to experience gender!! How should I go about that, or should I say anything at all?? Thanks!
Well, I'm not sure what to do in your situation, but you could tell him that you've done some research and that this video has made you think. Maybe show him this video, and say that you're in no way telling him what's trans or not or what's valid or not, but that you can't really see anything wrong with it. Maybe you two could try to talk about it?
Nounself pronouns are kind of like a second name, as pronouns are used in place of your name. It’s a shorter and descriptive name set that makes a person feel comfortable so why not?
Thank you for the video, I was sceptical but curious about neopronouns before, but now I completely understand the need for it. (when you explained that they is still rooted in the gender binary and just a "neutral" way, but nb people often have a gender, but it just doesn't have an own pronoun, it made click) But I saw a lot of people on Tiktok with very... Extraordinary ? Neopronouns, like corps/corpself, rot/rots/rotself, and people were cheering in the comments how "cool" their pronouns are. And idk, I really dont get that. Pronouns arent a cool thing, they are just a quick way to refer to a person, and inherently not pretty cool. And I just have weird feelings referring to somebody as rot, corpse, bun or kitten. What is your opinion on that/can you elaborate this a bit ? I truly dont understand these pronouns.
I have a question! If it’s hurtful pls forgive me but if you’re trans and non-binary how are you trans? Isnt trans when you go to Women-Man Man-Women Or was it y simply weren’t comfortable with your looks? Please forgive me if it’s offensive. I was also called transphobic and ableist for not calling someone bun/bunself or star/star self but I just call them by their name or they/them.
Hey there! Sounds like you've got a lot to learn -- that doesn't make you a bad person, just means there's a lot of progress ahead of you! So to start with some simple basics, every person gets assigned a gender when they're born, right? The doctor who whoever it is looks at them and announces "it's a boy!" or "it's a girl!" If you go your whole life saying "yeah, that doctor was totally right," then you are cisgender. If there's a point in your life where the gender you got assigned just doesn't fit in some way, you probably fit somewhere under the trans umbrella. Maybe you were assigned female at birth and decide that no, you're a guy -- then you'd be a trans man. Maybe you were assigned male at birth and decide you are not a man, but you're also not a woman....and decide on the term agender for what best fits your experience. Or maybe you pick nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer...there are a whole bunch of terms and don't worry, you don't have to know every single one of them!! It's good to have a basic knowledge of some of the most common, but if someone ever tells you they're something you've never heard of, a good response is to either just google it for yourself or ask them "Tell me, what does that mean for you?" (or "So what pronouns and other language would you like me to use for you?") Any person who is not cisgender can choose to identify as trans, even if they aren't "binary" trans -- a trans man or a trans woman (ftm or mtf). There are some nonbinary people who choose not to identify as transgender, and that's fine -- but those of us who do, truly are trans! For some more basics, I highly recommend this video: ua-cam.com/video/-3ZzpTxjgRw/v-deo.html
If you watch the video I linked, you'll see that a nonbinary person can look like just about anything! So while being "uncomfortable with one's looks" can be part of the trans experience, it's not the whole experience.
i started using neopronouns , because i dont feel comfortable with she/her and they/them pronouns dont exist in my native language. My neopronouns are me/melo , bun/buns , ca/care , cinna/cinnas , fluff/fluffs , cloud/clouds , sky/skies and xe/xem , and even tho i get why it might be confusing to some people it upsets me that most dont even try to understand the concept of neopronouns and why people might feel more comfortable using them.
Yeah i (the op) am trying to clean up the comments section! i hadn't realized it had gotten so bad lmao cuz i'm used to my videos getting like 30 views and at the most 1 comment haha, i'm not used to having to check that trolls haven't found me!
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers you're video was very good, I'm so glad it came across my recommended feed, it gave me a much better understanding of neopronouns and neopronoun users. I even started using neopronouns myself! Your video has a very positive impact on me, and I hope that even with all these trolls you can see how positive your video is. 🖤💜🤍💛
Hey, I've never been diagnosed as autistic/neurodivergent, but I really feel comfortable using kitty/kittyself, bunny/bunself, bee/beeself neopronouns. I don't use them because I'm not sure if I can use them. Would I be allowed to use them? Or can someone explain to me please?
Hi! Neopronouns are most often used by nonbinary folks (or other trans, gender nonconforming, etc. folks). It's about gender, not neurotype. That being said, I have noticed that nounself pronouns (the neopronouns that include a noun in them like bunself) seem to be more common among autistic folks. But all that being said, anyone is welcome to ask that people refer to them with whatever pronouns feel best for them! Even cis people can use neopronouns if it feels right to them! So whatever your gender, whatever your neurotype, you're welcome to use those pronouns, no worries :)
As a neurodivergent person, I can definitely say that anyone can use nounself pronouns. And, personally, I believe that anyone can identify as xenogender(that is, an umbrella term for any gender that can’t be described by human understandings of gender, so they characterize it by relating it to various animals, plants, concepts, etc). Many xenogender identities were created by neurodivergent people but anyone can identify as one(or more than one)
great video! I’m xenogender so I go by mew/mews, purr/purrs, kitty/kittys, mer/mers, doll/dolls, and bun/buns pronouns, but I may add more someday lol.
I'm going through the replies here to try to get rid of the crappy ones -- I'm sure more will crop up or I'll miss some, so I also want to add to anyone reading this:
There will always be trolls and jerks and people who don't get it. Don't let them ruin your day or your life. What they say about it being impossible to find people who will respect you or befriend you is false! I'm 26 years old, have a Bachelors degree and a Masters degree, have a lovely wife, and have so many people in my life who do indeed love and respect me!
You can embrace who you are, you can explore your gender and even have fun with it, you can pick whatever pronouns feel right to you and help you convey a bit of yourself to the world, and those who say you're doing something wrong or foolish can't do a thing about it. You're okay. In fact, you're wonderful. You're part of what makes humanity so beautiful -- part of the diversity that helps us all thrive. We need you.
I guess the more common pronouns are easy to understand, but “noun-self” pronouns feel a little odd to me. Like I’m not trying to disrespect anyone but I just don’t understand taking words that already exist and are used often, and just giving them I completely different context.
@@dreamingneon1274 thank you!
I completely understand pronouns like ze/zim or zhe/xer but and really stumped about pronouns like bug/bugs. In no way am I trying to disrespect anyone, I just need help understanding them. In my mind they seem more like nicknames rather than pronouns I guess. It would be rlly healpful if someone explained :)
EDIT!!! At the end of the day it doesnt matter if someone uses neoprounons since they dont affect you. Be respectful and have a good day
Hi! Those kinds of neopronouns are usually called "nounself" pronouns. I believe they're just another way to get creative with one's pronouns and have fun with it, which some people like to do! Gender can be really hard to explain even to oneself, and some folks find that comparing their gender to another thing can be helpful for them when they try to explain what their gender is "like." For instance, one might say "my gender is like water in how it flows and fluctuates and is hard to grasp," and decide to use nounself pronouns like "aqua/aquas" to emphasize that.
Apparently nounself pronouns can be difficult for certain people to get a handle on (such as people who speak English as a second language and some neurodivergent folks), so it's "good etiquette" to offer an alternative pronoun set when you use nounself pronouns (source: nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Nounself_pronouns).
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers oooh that makes os much more sense! Thank you for explaining!
@@tarin6083 Not everyone looks like you, Not everyone "passes" as "cis". I don't get what you are arguing here? Your looks don't tell me your PREFERRED pronouns. Just let people live. They are not making the community look bad. What makes the community look bad is people who constantly shit on those in their group, refusing to listen, invalidating them, and treating them poorly. *Xenogenders, and Neopronouns have existed for LONG times. Gender is a social construct that can vary based on the society.*
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers ohhh this actually really helped me! I was extremely confused but this basically explains the “why” theyre used tyam
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers I've heard alot of nerodivergant people like those kinds of pronouns becuse gender can be confusing for them to really explain Wich makes since
I know you didn't talk about this directly, but I still think this is a good place to ask this question.
What I'm confused about is how calling someone ae/aer or xe/xem is essential to alleviate dysphoria. Non-binary gender dysphoria makes sense. You're not a man or a woman, so you get dysphoria from being called both he/him and she/her. They/them is there as a consequence of you not having any other available pronouns.
You get dysphoria from being called a gender you aren't, and they/them doesn't have a gender so it wouldn't effect anyone's dysphoria. This means that they/them works for everyone, regardless of gender or if they're cis/trans. Call a transguy them? That's fine. Call a cis woman them? That's fine too. I don't understand why this doesn't apply to some non-binary people.
You mentioned that they/them is still connected to the binary. I don't understand how, it's gender neutral.
Good questions. My first suggestion to you is to start trying to transform your framework around trans people from simply being about "alleviating dysphoria" -- associating being trans solely with suffering or disorder -- and imagining what other reasons on top of dysphoria different trans people have for living into their authentic selves. For example, I personally wouldn't say being referred to with ze/zir pronouns alleviates my dysphoria -- but it does absolutely add to my sense of gender euphoria!! A sense of rightness and being truly seen and understood by someone else. I recommend doing a little research on that concept of "gender euphoria."
Also, I would strongly disagree that it is always appropriate to refer to a trans man or a trans woman with they pronouns. Some are fine with it, yes -- others see it as an intentional refusal to refer to them with the pronouns typically associated with their gender. For example, I have a friend who's a trans woman who has had this problem at her workplace -- there are non-accepting coworkers who know that if they call her "he," she can report them to HR; but they've realized that if they stick to "they" pronouns, they can avoid calling her "she" as she requests and it's harder for her to do anything about it. She sees it as a denial of her gender just as much as being called "he," because she's told them to stop and to please call her "she" and they refuse.
As to they pronouns being tied to the binary -- I think that concept can be debated, absolutely; there are plenty of people who use they pronouns who won't agree with that concept. But as a linguist, I see the "gender neutrality" of they pronouns (which you yourself pointed out, calling them gender neutral), as indicative of one or two things among the dominant population:
1) an moving from the gender binary into a gender trinary, with anyone at all who uses they pronouns being labeled as a single "third gender" whether they would agree with that labeling or not; or
2) an avoidance of expanding the gender binary outward into an enormous and more amorphous spectrum by simply squeezing a "neutral" category in between the "male" end of the binary and the "female" end -- and thus labelling all they/them users as being themselves "neutral," "androgynous," or "agender," whether they would agree with those labels or not.
By expanding sets of pronouns from just three options (she, he, or they) into limitless options, we're challenging that binary or trinary supposition. We're using language to show that some of us are not gender neutral, but genderfull; not just a third gender, but all sorts of wonderful genders, some of which defy neat labels.
Do listen, though, to my big caveat here: all of this is not to say that every user of they/them pronouns is adhering to the gender binary by using them. I am NOT saying that it's somehow less radical or progressive or something to use they/them pronouns instead of neopronouns. I myself am a genderfull, genderqueer person whose main pronoun set is they/them, and I therefore resist the insistence that they/them is inherently "neutral"!
What I am saying is that if you study linguistically how the dominant (read: cisgender, cisheteronormative) population conceive of they/them pronouns, that's what you'll find. All of us who find ourselves outside the cisgender norms are resisting and challenging those viewpoints, whatever pronouns we use.
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers Thanks for the detailed response
How can you be both "non-binary" and "transgender?"
If being transgender means that you do not identify exclusively with the gender you were assigned at birth, then a nonbinary person can also be trans! I myself claim both labels -- I do not at all identify with the gender I was assigned at birth; at the same time, I'm not a man. So I am trans, AND nonbinary.
Yes lots of non-binary people are trans
@@uncoolloser6233 transgender is just not identifying with what gender you were assigned at birth I'm binary people are not identifying as a gender they were assigned as birth hence the reason why they're under the trends umbrella there just not in the bianary genders
i am cis and a female, but i feel comfortable with all pronouns. i want people to know this, but i just don't care what pronouns are used for me. (usually i even prefer for people to use more than one pronoun on me.)
i don't want attention, nor do i want to seem special or something. is this dumb, and, more importantly, is it okay too put all three pronouns in my bio?
By all means, feel free to put multiple pronouns in your bio! As you're a cis person who uses multiple pronouns, I would say it's important for you to be a vocal advocate for trans and nonbinary folks who likewise use multiple pronouns -- if you hear people saying crap about how it's "attention seeking," shut them down!
You can be part of the normalization of using multiple pronouns + using they pronouns, etc. Which is great!
i use she/they pronouns. but you are 100% valid :)
I really would like to discuss pronouns that are actual objects, and like nouns. I’ve seen people with pire/pirate/pirateself and pog/pogself. It’s hard to not to balk at those but I really do want to understand. I get they/them and the other phonetic sounding ones like ey/em or ze/zir but the objectual ones seem almost ridiculous. I do not want to police anyone’s pronouns and I will always respect and call someone what they want to be called so can someone please help me understand the mindset and reasoning behind objectual neopronouns.
Hi! I'm pasting my response to someone else with a similar question here. Those kinds of neopronouns are usually called "nounself" pronouns. I believe they're just another way to get creative with one's pronouns and have fun with it, which some people like to do! Gender can be really hard to explain even to oneself, and some folks find that comparing their gender to another thing can be helpful for them when they try to explain what their gender is "like." For instance, one might say "my gender is like water in how it flows and fluctuates and is hard to grasp," and decide to use nounself pronouns like "aqua/aquas" to emphasize that.
Apparently nounself pronouns can be difficult for certain people to get a handle on (such as people who speak English as a second language and some neurodivergent folks), so it's "good etiquette" to offer an alternative pronoun set when you use nounself pronouns (source: nonbinary.miraheze.org/wiki/Nounself_pronouns).
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers hey, while I don't want to make someone uncomfortable by using the wrong pronoun, I have severe adhd that makes it so hard to keep track of what both myself and others are saying. I can say I'll try my best, but I'll always end up using "they" over neopronouns when given the option, and nounself pronouns are too much for me to understand entirely. also, some of the pronouns I've been seeing people use on the internet make me uncomfortable; I feel weird calling a teen "kitten". I hope this makes sense.
@@walterjupiter8966 refer to the person with their name
i know these aren’t neopronouns but would you be willing to break down / explain the she/they pronoun? i’ve been seeing a lot of people use it now in the media and i really like it (it makes me feel very comfortable) but i don’t want to identify as it without truly understanding it
Hi yes! So just to clarify, you're talking about when you see someone have "she/they" or maybe "he/they" in their bio, or someone who says "I use she and they pronouns," right? If that's not what you're talking about let me know haha and I'll try again. But assuming that is what you're talking about, what that means is that person is comfortable with people referring to them using she/her/hers, OR they/them/theirs!
Any kind of person might be comfortable with both they and she pronouns, but most commonly such people tend to be nonbinary folks who are somehow woman-aligned: maybe they're genderfluid, or bigender with "woman" and "nonbinary"/"agender"/etc. being their two genders.....these are only some examples of persons who might use both she and they, rather than an exhaustive list. If you are someone who feels comfortable or affirmed when people refer to you with both she pronouns and they pronouns, then that's awesome -- go for it!!
There are lots of people who are fine with multiple sets of pronouns -- like I mention in the video, I am cool with either they/them or ze/hir pronouns. If I wanted, I could also write that as they/ze in a bio.
If you feel comfortable with those pronouns, use them! :D
This is coming from a cisgender female who uses she/they, btw. In my opinion you don’t have to be non-binary or trans to use they pronouns.
okay so she/they for me means that I like it when people mix my pronouns, for example " That girl is named wren they are 15 years old. She has 5 birds, and they can cook very well." You use the pronouns like that is what I know of
@@kiracrackers6754 i use she/they too! and i’m a cisfemale. whatever you identify as you can use whatever pronouns you what to you :)
I have a question: there's a big focus in trans activism on gender not being a choice, but then with pronouns it's clear that people do get to pick and choose whatever pronouns feel comfortable. I've heard that's because pronouns don't equal gender, but I guess as a cis person I don't really understand that concept? So if anyone has any resources or cares to explain that would be amazing :)
Good question! You can recognize that you're not a man or a woman, and still have to explore different language options for what words /do/ fit your gender, ya know? Because gender is something so innate and pretty abstract, it can be really hard to find the right words to explain it -- especially when we are not raised with options for what we COULD be outside of exclusively man or exclusively woman, so that we have to seek out answers for ourselves.
So while gender is often understood to be "not a choice" or innate, pronouns and other words are just the human language we've come up with to describe those things. People explore different pronouns, try on different ones till they find some that feel right, because it's all about finding the pronouns that feel like they match your innate sense of gender -- and so yeah, it is a matter of finding ones that "feel comfortable."
Cis folks do similar things -- say you're a cisgender woman and you've just gotten married. You're trying to decide whether you prefer people to call you Mrs. or Ms. [last name]. There's not technically a right or wrong answer -- it's subjective; it's about what feels comfortable to you, and/or matches your personal ideology around those honorifics. Your innate sense of being a woman did not change, but you still had to figure out what words best suited that innate sense.
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers Thanks for this! Makes a lot of sense. People say gender is a social construct, but then again so is language.
this really helped me to gain understanding on this topic, thank you so much
Question in languages like Hebrew with masculine and feminine words how would it work
i honestly dont know, languages that are based in the gender binary are inherently non-binaryphobic (?) and sadly theres no real way to escape the binary in hebrew and other extremely gendered languages
Nonbinary native speakers (and sometimes non-native speakers) of various languages, including Hebrew, come up with creative ways to make their languages work for them! I actually have an article for Hebrew in particular - www.them.us/story/queer-inclusive-judaism
If you google any given language and add something like "nonbinary pronouns" to your search, you can find out what speakers of that language are coming up with!
An option I've seen frequently in heavily gendered languages like Hebrew is to ask people to alternate between the masculine and feminine pronouns when speaking about you. In English that would look like "Do you know Ben? She's pretty cool, I was going to invite him to the party."
I speak Spanish as a second language and what I ask people to do for me in Spanish (and I've seen other nonbinary folks do this too) is to replace the "a" or "o" on the end of many adjectives with an "e" -- so things like "Avery es baje" instead of "bajo" or "baja." Doesn't work for every word tho. And for pronouns, use ele instead of ella or él. I've also seen elle.
So yeah, so many cool things are going on in nonbinary communities in all sorts of languages! It makes me so happy to learn about!
Languages are made to help us communicate; when they fail to communicate what we want them to, it's super cool that we're able to come up with ways to improve them. That's why I'm such a fan of things like neopronouns.
Thank you for this, my friend just came out to me saying that xey wanted to use neopronouns and I didn't really know anything about it!! Of course I'm completely accepting, I just didn't know too much!
this shit makes no sense
I’m so happy 😃😃 now I can come out as shit/butt
my crush is getting into the neopronouns. I am familiar with nonbinary people, I'm good with saying correct pronouns. Neopronouns are new to me and for my crush I would do anything. Thank you for explaining so I can use it correctly.
Hey, I really liked your video! I just wanted to point out that the timestamps you put in the description starting at 5:46 and 13:27 are mixed up. Anyway, have a nice day!
Oh whoops thanks for telling me! Should be fixed now. Take care!
I am bisexual and I have been doing a bunch of research on pronouns and how to use them! I have also been trying to understand all the sexualitys!
If you want to know about some of them i have a LOT of knowledge on gender identities and sexualities, just let me know 😁
Hey! I have a friend who is trans but is against nounself pronouns and when he told me abt them I agreed that it sounded wack but after watching this and doing research I think there’s nothing wrong with it really? But I’m also a cis female- yet I want to educate my trans friend bc they might just not have done a tone of research, but I don’t want to come across like I’m telling a member of the trans community how to experience gender!! How should I go about that, or should I say anything at all?? Thanks!
Well, I'm not sure what to do in your situation, but you could tell him that you've done some research and that this video has made you think. Maybe show him this video, and say that you're in no way telling him what's trans or not or what's valid or not, but that you can't really see anything wrong with it. Maybe you two could try to talk about it?
Nounself pronouns are kind of like a second name, as pronouns are used in place of your name. It’s a shorter and descriptive name set that makes a person feel comfortable so why not?
Thank you for the video, I was sceptical but curious about neopronouns before, but now I completely understand the need for it. (when you explained that they is still rooted in the gender binary and just a "neutral" way, but nb people often have a gender, but it just doesn't have an own pronoun, it made click)
But I saw a lot of people on Tiktok with very... Extraordinary ? Neopronouns, like corps/corpself, rot/rots/rotself, and people were cheering in the comments how "cool" their pronouns are. And idk, I really dont get that. Pronouns arent a cool thing, they are just a quick way to refer to a person, and inherently not pretty cool. And I just have weird feelings referring to somebody as rot, corpse, bun or kitten. What is your opinion on that/can you elaborate this a bit ? I truly dont understand these pronouns.
Can someone call me by ze/zir pronouns and the name Lian? I want to use those pronouns and that name and I just want to see how it feels, thanks!
lian is a cool person, i read zir comment and ze seems really nice!!
I don't know Lian, but ze seems pretty neat! I like zir username. I hope ze is having a good day!
I have a question! If it’s hurtful pls forgive me but if you’re trans and non-binary how are you trans? Isnt trans when you go to
Women-Man
Man-Women
Or was it y simply weren’t comfortable with your looks? Please forgive me if it’s offensive. I was also called transphobic and ableist for not calling someone bun/bunself or star/star self but I just call them by their name or they/them.
Hey there! Sounds like you've got a lot to learn -- that doesn't make you a bad person, just means there's a lot of progress ahead of you! So to start with some simple basics, every person gets assigned a gender when they're born, right? The doctor who whoever it is looks at them and announces "it's a boy!" or "it's a girl!" If you go your whole life saying "yeah, that doctor was totally right," then you are cisgender. If there's a point in your life where the gender you got assigned just doesn't fit in some way, you probably fit somewhere under the trans umbrella. Maybe you were assigned female at birth and decide that no, you're a guy -- then you'd be a trans man. Maybe you were assigned male at birth and decide you are not a man, but you're also not a woman....and decide on the term agender for what best fits your experience. Or maybe you pick nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer...there are a whole bunch of terms and don't worry, you don't have to know every single one of them!! It's good to have a basic knowledge of some of the most common, but if someone ever tells you they're something you've never heard of, a good response is to either just google it for yourself or ask them "Tell me, what does that mean for you?" (or "So what pronouns and other language would you like me to use for you?")
Any person who is not cisgender can choose to identify as trans, even if they aren't "binary" trans -- a trans man or a trans woman (ftm or mtf). There are some nonbinary people who choose not to identify as transgender, and that's fine -- but those of us who do, truly are trans!
For some more basics, I highly recommend this video: ua-cam.com/video/-3ZzpTxjgRw/v-deo.html
If you watch the video I linked, you'll see that a nonbinary person can look like just about anything! So while being "uncomfortable with one's looks" can be part of the trans experience, it's not the whole experience.
i started using neopronouns , because i dont feel comfortable with she/her and they/them pronouns dont exist in my native language. My neopronouns are me/melo , bun/buns , ca/care , cinna/cinnas , fluff/fluffs , cloud/clouds , sky/skies and xe/xem , and even tho i get why it might be confusing to some people it upsets me that most dont even try to understand the concept of neopronouns and why people might feel more comfortable using them.
woooo, bun/buns gang!
Thank you so much for clarifying. Someone told me ze use neopronouns and I had NO idea what neopronouns were. ❤❤❤
Hey! I use they/him/flame/fireself pronouns and I really appreciated this video
flame/fireself, huh? that’s one I haven’t heard yet. cool! keep being awesome
@@w1nterdays no u 😌✋✨
this comments section does not pass the vibe check, whats with all this prejudice? neopronouns are valid
Yeah i (the op) am trying to clean up the comments section! i hadn't realized it had gotten so bad lmao cuz i'm used to my videos getting like 30 views and at the most 1 comment haha, i'm not used to having to check that trolls haven't found me!
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers you're video was very good, I'm so glad it came across my recommended feed, it gave me a much better understanding of neopronouns and neopronoun users. I even started using neopronouns myself! Your video has a very positive impact on me, and I hope that even with all these trolls you can see how positive your video is. 🖤💜🤍💛
thank you so much!
Hey, I've never been diagnosed as autistic/neurodivergent, but I really feel comfortable using kitty/kittyself, bunny/bunself, bee/beeself neopronouns. I don't use them because I'm not sure if I can use them. Would I be allowed to use them? Or can someone explain to me please?
Also just wanted to add that I do have anxiety if that matters.?
Hi! Neopronouns are most often used by nonbinary folks (or other trans, gender nonconforming, etc. folks). It's about gender, not neurotype. That being said, I have noticed that nounself pronouns (the neopronouns that include a noun in them like bunself) seem to be more common among autistic folks.
But all that being said, anyone is welcome to ask that people refer to them with whatever pronouns feel best for them! Even cis people can use neopronouns if it feels right to them! So whatever your gender, whatever your neurotype, you're welcome to use those pronouns, no worries :)
@@BlessedAretheBinaryBreakers Thank you :)
As a neurodivergent person, I can definitely say that anyone can use nounself pronouns. And, personally, I believe that anyone can identify as xenogender(that is, an umbrella term for any gender that can’t be described by human understandings of gender, so they characterize it by relating it to various animals, plants, concepts, etc). Many xenogender identities were created by neurodivergent people but anyone can identify as one(or more than one)
@@w1nterdays Thank you! : )
Thank you!!! I genuinely had no idea what they were !!!
I see a lot of mean comments and I just wanted to say 💖✨thank you for teaching us😊💖
Frog. 🎩
Frog. 🐸. 🐸
Frog. 👕. 👗
Frog. 👖. 👢
As someone who is considering using neopronouns I needed this video thank you so much for taking your time to make it
God tier video! Neopronoun users are all valid and this video does SUCH a good job at explaining it!
Period!! Omg ily
this video was extremely helpful!! thank you!!
Thank you now I finally understand neopronouns better when before they confused me
great video! I’m xenogender so I go by mew/mews, purr/purrs, kitty/kittys, mer/mers, doll/dolls, and bun/buns pronouns, but I may add more someday lol.
i dont understand pronouns like bun/buns/bunself. could you maybe explain? it's fine if not!