Skaven : "This *squeak* is poison" Isn't it Ironic that a Skaven would be afraid of something poisonous considering their very existence provides for 90% of the old worlds poison supply?
This is, unironically, something that could 100% happens in warhammer. The skaven makes a plan to have the Dwarves believe they have a easy way to cut off their warpstone supplies and have the majority of Raki go in withdrawal. Then when the dwarves attack, they only find pacifist, dumb, non-violent skavens (which are just real rats) and take it as an immense success. The subsequent skaven planned counterattack fails though because they didn't took into account to store warpstone before their supplies line got cutted off, so they have to resurt to highly unhealthy mixtures of chemicals to come as close to the original warpstone kick, only to accidentally kill themselves out of overdose and poisoning. Laying it out made it still sound less absurd and self sabotaging that other skaven plots i read.
It'd have been even more hilarious, If the Dwarven attempt at sobriety resulted in an attempt to bury the hatchet with the elves, only for the Dark elves to screw it up and return things to status quo, (considering they started it it fits).)
That's because you forgot the quintuplecross. The majority of the clans agree, we'll pretend to let the dwarves discover our supply, and cut it off. Then they all subsiquently in their own minds decide "these idiots have no idea I'm going to reveal _their_ real source of warpstone, cutting them off for real and securing rulership for myself when I reveal I alone have all the warpstone!" Followed subsiquently by "I must remember to steal and destroy every other store of warpstone in the undercity!" The rats all independently sneakily reveal their rivals's trade routes to the dwarves, the dwarves convene, and discover that they have independently been given 12 of 13 trade routes into the undercity and each source of intelligence only excluded one, except for one source (the one the council voted to send) that only revealed 5 routes. The dwarfs realize what the Skaven have done to themselves, and agree to simultaneously destroy every trade route at once and let the rats sort themselves out. Meanwhile, in a grand campaign of skullduggery, every single storehouse of warpstone is broken into and raided. Everything the raiders can't carry is destroyed. They all arrive back at their own storehouses, and realize they've been robbed and the excess destroyed. They go into a screeching frenzy and immediately start indescriminately slaughtering. The last one standing in every fight promptly steals all the warpstone for themselves, because every single one of them is sure that they can get more on their secret route (you know, the secret route that was revealed several dozen times to the dwarfs). The council meets up and not a one of them reveals they've been robbed, because they know who they robbed, but don't know who robbed them. They also don't know everyone has been robbed. They all sit there snickering pretending everything is great while they try to figure out who is giving off tells so they can jump across the table and knife them. Everyone is giving off tells, though. The dwarfs, meanwhile, collapse the tunnels all at once. Three months later, the dwarfs stroll in through a scene of utter carnage and encounter only one extra mad skaven who has gone _sober._ The last survive of the warpstone underwar.
We all know warp gods are created from the minds of sapient beings so the Skaven's constant intake of warpstone and the evil actions that result from the consumption of said warpstone created the Great Horned Rat.
@@danielryan6604hey man, if a drink or two at the end of a long day helps one cope or a joint after an 8 hour shift makes life bearable, then thats a fine reason not to bite the barrel of a gun for one more day
Skaven are more terrifying sober than high. I'm not sure what to say about this. But they got Skavened at the end so it's all good. Everything is as it should be.
*Fun-Sized Fact #1* - All Dwarven drive-bys are done in low-riders. *Fun-Sized Fact #2* - Dwarves must maintain a high level of alcohol in their blood in order be healthly.
Part of Skaven hood achieved cosmic enlightenment while the others went dead by way of synthetic boof. This turn of events is so Skaven I'm surprise it's not canon.
One: Raki always don’t want to fight if they think they will lose. Two dwarfs drink not to get drunk but to cope with high energy consumptive environments of their holds. They drink excessively to get drunk but they get invaded by rats, orks and gobos like every other week so I think they deserve to relax.
"Oi, master dwarfs, we've come to buy more of your fancy guns. We come bearing EXACT CHANGE, which has been tripple counted to make sure not to lose ONE single coin, because the last time that happened, you grudged so hard you burned down our entire town That you built in short ord- OH FUCK BY SIGMAR I'M SORRY." "There's no need to be afraid my tall friend, us dwarves do not believe in grudges anymore." "...Whot?"
This is actually part of my headcanon about the Skaven. They used to be a brave, pacifist, empathetic, highly intelligent race until the Horned Rat mutated them and tricked them into worshipping him. And if they ever muster up the courage to take their lives back from the Horned Rat they can assume a superior, much more powerful form that resembles the Skaven before the Horned Rat enslaved them. These ancient Skaven also invented the Power Stones, petrified forms of each Wind of Magic that are much safer than Warpstone. Power Stones are used by the High Elves.
Notice how the skaven, when the dwarfs refute sobriety, momentarily revert to their double speak "I-I'm," but it can be seen as just them being in shock. What foreshadowing that the skaven still need their boof
Considering canon Skaven are basically a nation of crack-heads, it makes sense they'd also be in too boof. Also HOLY WARPSTONE Anon this videos are fooken funny; it's 9:57PM where I'm at as of writing this and if I laugh any louder I'm gonna wake up the neighborhood and I don't want to get into trouble. But just like the Skaven I'm gonna snort-sniff 13 lines of this meme dub playlist ya have and enjoy every second of it!!!! XD
I think the fact that the Skaven went synthetic on weed and it started killing them makes me laugh the most. It's like how dare you turn out stores of boof into synthetic boof!
I heard that Big Squigga Grimgor Ironhide had some pretty intense shrooms, dawi. Maybe we could try them out just once? BY GRIMNIR I FEEL LIKE I'VE JUST BEEN SWALLOWED BY A HELLPIT ABOMINATION
Plot Twist: Sober October works to well for the Dwarves. Their IQ skyrockets without the alcohol to impede them. And in time they end-up reaching their own Golden Age of Technology and conquer all the other primitive races with their raw technological might.
I was actually impressed with the big headed Skaven - then as it was all a ploy - oh well. I really don't think Spice would actually kill a Skaven, not when they sniff warpstone all the time.
Skaven : "This *squeak* is poison"
Isn't it Ironic that a Skaven would be afraid of something poisonous considering their very existence provides for 90% of the old worlds poison supply?
Also, isn't Black Corn (their main source of food) almost poisonous?
@@mekingtiger9095 Black Corn is good old wholesome natural poison! Not like the artificial toxins found in spice
@@mekingtiger9095almost is the important part
No, is like micro plastics, they're dangerous, the Lego I ate when I was kid was not. That's the difference of natural vs artificial poison.
@@DreadAnonSpice? Is it from Arrakis?
Words cant describe how much i love the skaven boof saga
Can we please have another boof saga please lol I thoroughly enjoyed the boof saga
Same. I'll keep using "pass me that boof in the name of ursun" at every sesh lmao
Each boof episode has me dying
This is, unironically, something that could 100% happens in warhammer.
The skaven makes a plan to have the Dwarves believe they have a easy way to cut off their warpstone supplies and have the majority of Raki go in withdrawal. Then when the dwarves attack, they only find pacifist, dumb, non-violent skavens (which are just real rats) and take it as an immense success. The subsequent skaven planned counterattack fails though because they didn't took into account to store warpstone before their supplies line got cutted off, so they have to resurt to highly unhealthy mixtures of chemicals to come as close to the original warpstone kick, only to accidentally kill themselves out of overdose and poisoning.
Laying it out made it still sound less absurd and self sabotaging that other skaven plots i read.
It'd have been even more hilarious, If the Dwarven attempt at sobriety resulted in an attempt to bury the hatchet with the elves, only for the Dark elves to screw it up and return things to status quo, (considering they started it it fits).)
The reason this wouldn't work out, however, is that the Dwarves would slaughter the Skaven even if they were housing stray dogs.
I love the (which are just real rats)
That's because you forgot the quintuplecross. The majority of the clans agree, we'll pretend to let the dwarves discover our supply, and cut it off. Then they all subsiquently in their own minds decide "these idiots have no idea I'm going to reveal _their_ real source of warpstone, cutting them off for real and securing rulership for myself when I reveal I alone have all the warpstone!" Followed subsiquently by "I must remember to steal and destroy every other store of warpstone in the undercity!"
The rats all independently sneakily reveal their rivals's trade routes to the dwarves, the dwarves convene, and discover that they have independently been given 12 of 13 trade routes into the undercity and each source of intelligence only excluded one, except for one source (the one the council voted to send) that only revealed 5 routes.
The dwarfs realize what the Skaven have done to themselves, and agree to simultaneously destroy every trade route at once and let the rats sort themselves out.
Meanwhile, in a grand campaign of skullduggery, every single storehouse of warpstone is broken into and raided. Everything the raiders can't carry is destroyed. They all arrive back at their own storehouses, and realize they've been robbed and the excess destroyed. They go into a screeching frenzy and immediately start indescriminately slaughtering. The last one standing in every fight promptly steals all the warpstone for themselves, because every single one of them is sure that they can get more on their secret route (you know, the secret route that was revealed several dozen times to the dwarfs).
The council meets up and not a one of them reveals they've been robbed, because they know who they robbed, but don't know who robbed them. They also don't know everyone has been robbed. They all sit there snickering pretending everything is great while they try to figure out who is giving off tells so they can jump across the table and knife them. Everyone is giving off tells, though.
The dwarfs, meanwhile, collapse the tunnels all at once.
Three months later, the dwarfs stroll in through a scene of utter carnage and encounter only one extra mad skaven who has gone _sober._ The last survive of the warpstone underwar.
@@Xahnel Still a better love story than Twilight.
The idea that the Skaven's evil tendencies and the Great Horned Rat is all just some ginormous drug trip... *Is Disturbingly possible..*
We all know warp gods are created from the minds of sapient beings so the Skaven's constant intake of warpstone and the evil actions that result from the consumption of said warpstone created the Great Horned Rat.
I mean what else would you say the warhammer writing teams were imbibing during WHFB and 40k’s inception?
When your plan to make your enemy miserable ends up making them a better faction than all of warhammer.
Skaven going sober from Warpstone for 0,05 second: "From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh..."
MechaniSkaven.
@@noregrets5258Ratmech
Skaven being rational?!? Dwarves getting sober?!? This is truly the grimest and darkest of grim dark.....
Grimdark...or grimdork
@@tristanband4003 or grimderp
@@TheMuffinMan40k difference between grimdork and grimderp?
@@tristanband4003 uh.....Look a rift in the warp!
*runs away*
Asking a dwarf not to drink is like asking a dwarf not to write grudges
"No drinking? THAT'S GOING IN THE BOOK!"
Not write grudges? That's a grudgin.
blud really said the S slur without even censoring it
Skweeka please
@@KhaneLives-ec1hk That-that is our word-phrase, man-thing.
Without a boof, without a drink... how can you call that living?
Thats like asking a bretonnian to not fuck his horse
Same thing as life without a wank
If the only thing thats keeping you living is drinking and smoking then you are not realy living
@@danielryan6604hey man, if a drink or two at the end of a long day helps one cope or a joint after an 8 hour shift makes life bearable, then thats a fine reason not to bite the barrel of a gun for one more day
@@IapitusMcHeimer im not saying not to drink i myself drink too but its not like its the thing that makes live worth living
‘There’s always a need for violence!’ - Words to live by.
Words to kill by.
"The World is as angry as it gets"
Warhammer franchise in a nutshell
Are you an Ork?
Because I am.
This always happens to me whenever i try to get a long campaign victory in TWW
Never thought I see the skaven play 4D chess
Musta hit some primo boof to think that far ahead.
Every skaevn is playing 5d chess with multiversal time travel, they just do it to kill their competitors.
Yet they somehow still failed
@@theanathema3062 Bold words from an atheist worshiped as a god.
@@nonya1366 hey, I kept mankind secular for 5000 years ok, I think that’s a pretty good track record
Dwarves: "Lets got sober, what is the worse that can happen."
3h later: *Literally the fall of Rome all over again *
Skaven are more terrifying sober than high. I'm not sure what to say about this. But they got Skavened at the end so it's all good. Everything is as it should be.
I thought the joke was gonna be they where gonna escape into the 40K world and land into a weed world and just get hooked all over again.
*John Skaven*
Compared to other drugs, doing cold turkey as an alcoholic is actually deadly... All of those dwarves died.
I heard Lizardmen tried a similar strategy in Lustria, but they had to quit after skaven kept trying to sneak in so they can lick the Slann.
thats is disturbingly possible
Lmao the drugged up skaven return
*Fun-Sized Fact #1* - All Dwarven drive-bys are done in low-riders.
*Fun-Sized Fact #2* - Dwarves must maintain a high level of alcohol in their blood in order be healthly.
Fun fact 3: If dwarves want to get into a vehicle which isn’t a low-rider, they need a ladder. Hence, why horse- theft is uncommon in their lands.
Fun-Fact 4: Technically speaking, rocking is more legal than stoning.
@@Finalhellmasterfun fact 5: there's a difference between the Rock and the Stone
@@manender1020Fun fact 6: If you don't Rock and Stone, you ain't going home.
_FUN SIZED?!_
THAT'S GOING IN THE FUCKING BOOK!
Part of Skaven hood achieved cosmic enlightenment while the others went dead by way of synthetic boof. This turn of events is so Skaven I'm surprise it's not canon.
Alright, but can we talk about the absolutely MAJESTIC delivery on that Khazukan Kazakit-Ha? Wonderful.
I love the running gag of at least ONE skaven dying from that bad shit
One: Raki always don’t want to fight if they think they will lose. Two dwarfs drink not to get drunk but to cope with high energy consumptive environments of their holds. They drink excessively to get drunk but they get invaded by rats, orks and gobos like every other week so I think they deserve to relax.
Intensity levels:
Dwarves plotting: 7/10
Sober Skaven: 0/10
Skaven on a normal Wednesday: 11/10
Wow, that raki really used the S-word like it was nothing
What no alcoholic beverage for over a day does to a mf.
Another thrilling adventure in the Skaven Boofverse!
the delivery on that "SPICE?!" was just perfect
Now you have to make a follow up video, I need to know what a sober dwarf looks like.
It's called a chaos dwarf, a Chorf if you will...
Can we get a follow-up where the rest of the races react to the sober dwarfs?
"Oi, master dwarfs, we've come to buy more of your fancy guns. We come bearing EXACT CHANGE, which has been tripple counted to make sure not to lose ONE single coin, because the last time that happened, you grudged so hard you burned down our entire town That you built in short ord- OH FUCK BY SIGMAR I'M SORRY."
"There's no need to be afraid my tall friend, us dwarves do not believe in grudges anymore."
"...Whot?"
There are only two past times in dwarven culture - drinking and lifting. And if they can't drink anymore...
@@TheArklyte Then they lift
the chaos dwarfs dont have a strong drinking culture do they
This is actually part of my headcanon about the Skaven. They used to be a brave, pacifist, empathetic, highly intelligent race until the Horned Rat mutated them and tricked them into worshipping him. And if they ever muster up the courage to take their lives back from the Horned Rat they can assume a superior, much more powerful form that resembles the Skaven before the Horned Rat enslaved them. These ancient Skaven also invented the Power Stones, petrified forms of each Wind of Magic that are much safer than Warpstone. Power Stones are used by the High Elves.
Sounds like a grimdark version of Family Guy Ireland
I.. i kinda was invested in the dwarfs sobriety plot ngl. maybe they started hugging some trees or something.
The skaven boof saga is the greatest plotline
Notice how the skaven, when the dwarfs refute sobriety, momentarily revert to their double speak "I-I'm," but it can be seen as just them being in shock. What foreshadowing that the skaven still need their boof
Having heard that they had to go synthetic implies that there exists synthetic boof, probably made by Ikit Claw or some other clan.
That Brytenwalda menu theme brought me back
This should be a mini series. The boof chronicles.
dreadanon accidentally made an actual effective anti drug ad for something that actually deserves a warning. the public thanks you.
Skavin confirmed Tau.
Considering canon Skaven are basically a nation of crack-heads, it makes sense they'd also be in too boof.
Also HOLY WARPSTONE Anon this videos are fooken funny; it's 9:57PM where I'm at as of writing this and if I laugh any louder I'm gonna wake up the neighborhood and I don't want to get into trouble. But just like the Skaven I'm gonna snort-sniff 13 lines of this meme dub playlist ya have and enjoy every second of it!!!! XD
If the Irish ever stop drinking.
I gotta say ur best work IMO is the dwarfs, scaven, dreads, and mek and tek.
Your boof series is my favorite thing about the Skaven!
As a dude whose day job is in pest control consistantly cleaning out rat traps. This makes me laugh to no end
Always-forever nice-good to hear-audio skaven speak
I'm surprised my old Dwarf Warrior art from highschool still gets some love till this day
runesmiths won't tell you, but being sober is what truly caused the Time of Woes
Sobriety.. What a joke
"This stuff is poison!"
WEAK RAT-KIN *inhale*
THE GREAT *wheeze* HORNED RAT PROTECTS
This guy's REALLY commit to the bit
Skaven-are-the-Imperium-Theory at work once again
Poisend by a fellow skaven? You don't say.
Jokes on them... I don't drink alcohol.
Weed being a psyker suppressant would have helped Magnus so much
Would have at least helped him chill the fuck out
I was expecting a Skaven rendition of "Straight Drop"
Fun fact: spice is such poison, even urban dictionary has a PSA against it
Pretty sure I'd snort warpstone before spice ever crossed my mind.
Then they jump to a new universe where, for some reason, the beings there call them the "old ones."
Asking a dwarf not to rock is like asking them not to stone.. which is ironic here, really
Asking Dwarf not to drink is like asking them to not hold grudges over everything
The boof must flow! Thank you very much. 😀
Into the book of Grudges this goes!
I think the fact that the Skaven went synthetic on weed and it started killing them makes me laugh the most. It's like how dare you turn out stores of boof into synthetic boof!
Sober October is right lads n Lasses.
Now I want to see part 2... or was it 3? I lost count I just wanna see what a sober dwarf looks like.
That synthetic is infact the most potent poison in all universes
Imagine the Greatest Threats to you dying Empire are Rats and Mushrooms
I was expecting for the Rats to attack and see that the dwarfs had ascended.
Sqeakas be trippin bruh!
that plot twist was amazing lmao
This is not what I was expecting from the Skaven...
Seriously though, dont ever touch the synthetic dope
That stuff isnt right
I want to see a sober dwarf...
Amazing call back to the synthetic shit killing you joke from the dune video
Ragmar Axeborn the Beardless is sober Dawi.
He shaved his beard and dating elf.
Dwarven watercolors are lovely though
sober dwarfs will be the only salvation for their eastern kin
I heard that Big Squigga Grimgor Ironhide had some pretty intense shrooms, dawi. Maybe we could try them out just once?
BY GRIMNIR I FEEL LIKE I'VE JUST BEEN SWALLOWED BY A HELLPIT ABOMINATION
Plot Twist: Sober October works to well for the Dwarves. Their IQ skyrockets without the alcohol to impede them. And in time they end-up reaching their own Golden Age of Technology and conquer all the other primitive races with their raw technological might.
WAGAERARA EGAG EAFGEAGEAGEagea!!
Thats hiw the dwarfs transition to 40k as the votann began
I want to see how the Dwarfs get on with their soberquest.
Im getting brytenwelda PTSD
And this was the start of deep rock galactic
I thought they where going to go squat
I identify as a weed smokin skaven
They turned into the Tau
Great stuff.
the joke is great because Spice is "rumored" to be rat poison.
Holy shit, lovely skit. XD
Don't the raki know Dwarven NEED ale and mead it's like taking water from a elf
True true
American author = Dwarfs have Scottish accents
British Author = Dwarfs have Yorkshire accents.
I was actually impressed with the big headed Skaven - then as it was all a ploy - oh well. I really don't think Spice would actually kill a Skaven, not when they sniff warpstone all the time.
0:10 holy shit laser cheese
The end was an assisin kill plot
Also thr video was funni
0:15 GOOD WHAT?!
go on then, make the followup of what happened to the dwarfs.
Do I hear the Brytenwalda theme?
ghettohammer