Talking about sex after 60 is an important and often overlooked conversation. As we age, intimacy and sexual health can change, but many people continue to enjoy fulfilling sexual relationships well into their senior years.
Holly, I can recommend looking up psychologist and couples councillor Ester Perel on UA-cam, plenty of talks about relationship dynamics. As I understand it Ester says we all need a base of stability to feel safe, secure, loved, wanted - but also need, from time to time, to break out with adventure, excitement, exploring, discovery to keep things interesting. It's a balance, a partner always adventuring will not be grounded, a safe and secure only partner will appear dull soon enough. Women, in general, want / need to feel they are with somone they can trust before they begin adventuring. Sex is a form of adventure, and I suspect your trepidation is mainly because you need to feel secure before stepping out. Me dating, I mix and match, having a coffee date in a bookshop where we can sit in comfort and peruse the camping and travel books to talk about the places we would really like to go...
@@Nabagabo22. This may be considered wrong but more older couples should venture out and know more of the opposite sex as I believe we get tired of our long term mates. If wanted that may even entail a sex adventure. At the stage of 60-70-80 it should not be catastrophic. This might require suffocating the fear of abandonment. A good fling might be a personality awakening! Get out of the doldrums. That’s for both spouses.
@@jimnicosia5934 Oh, grasshopper! Sex is ALL about the "IDEA," of it... the imagination of it... the creativity of it...or at least it is for me. As it is said, " The biggest sex organ is the one between your ears." Please excuse the crude metaphor... but good sex is all about literally and figuratively giving your partner HEAD - the full attention of your imagination and creativity combined with the intention of fully physically satisfying your partner.
I am nearly 80. the subject you raise here is much better and far more exciting as my wife and I age. she is the same age. there is a mental transformation that takes place as we age and mature emotionally. This is the best time of my life regarding this subject, people say we act like newly weds but we have been married for decades. 29 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren.
@@patriciavandevelde5469 yes and they think this only happens to men! I was married 6 years to a bully before I left. He got the house and all I got back was the deposit I paid for the deposit. I even earned more than him before we had our daughter.
I’m a 50-year-old man, and nowadays a sexy personality is as important as physical attraction. A woman doesn’t have to be the most beautiful or look like she did when she was younger, because your priorities change as you age, as mentioned in this video. Thanks for posting this, it made me think
@X-7-JAMES Yes I look at my dates pictures of them young and very attractive. It's still the SAME PERSON inside. Looks matter far less as we age. Some men are very handsome pre 40. They don't always age well necessarily!! 🙄🙄
I’m 65. No interest in sex whatsoever. Was in a ten year relationship with a narcissist and that helped to destroy any small desire I might have had. I played along for all those years. He didn’t notice or didn’t care. I suspect a bit of both. Perhaps it’s because I went through menopause at 44. No ill effects at all. If anything I felt better. So now after 7 years on my own the thought of physical intimacy is so foreign to me. Another reason I don’t date. Most men want sex. I just want a companion. Someone to share and lean on. It’s difficult going from being an attractive female used to turning heads to become virtually invisible. Yes it’s difficult. I do want to mention that you look very beautiful and much younger than your age. Glad I found your channel.
Omg. I was with a man also that had similar traits. I’m no longer interested in sex at all. It’s quite sad I guess but I’d much rather curl up alone in my bed at night with my cat 😊
@ precisely my feelings also. We are better off. It seems most men never lose interest in sex. Mine was in his 70’s but was also a narcissist. I don’t miss it at all.
@@kathybrem880 yes there are more of them than we ever imagined. They do so much damage. Thing was the universe tried to warn me to not enter the relationship. I mean it was a strong loud and clear message( twice!) and I ignored it. Never again. I listen now.
I'm 63 and on the very same page as each of you on this thread. Exactly. I'm also an introvert, and I do believe that us introverts have an easier journey in finding contentment in solitude, and thank goodness for that! I'm glad I found this channel.
I am 60 years old and in love with a 65 year old man and having the best sex of my life by far. I am so grateful that I am getting to experience a relationship of this depth and passion in the Autumn of my life. I was just accepting that that wasn’t a part of my life story. Just goes to show you its never too late.
@@vannesagannon4555that's easy for women to say. Men have to perform and "rise to the occasion", so to speak, so the more attractive the woman is, the better the "rise". Men just can't lay there and fake it like women can.
I am a 74 y/o grandma here in SoCal. Just went home to Ohio this summer and so many women I met I knew from high school gushed over how pretty I was. Most of the men and women I saw there were over weight, out of shape and not inquisitive about the world we are now living in. (“What do you mean we are close to WW 3??!”) I think living in SoCal has made me more conscious of how I look, even though my hair has lots of silver streaks and I never buy new clothes because I can’t afford it and I really don’t care. I wear one of my sons torn up Diesel jeans and a pretty shirt I got at Victoria’s Secret 40 years ago and plenty of women here tell how “classy” I always look, especially when I wear my $30 shades from Target bought five years ago. I have been divorced for years and all the men who were in my life have died! I have one friend from 30 years ago I go out with for lunch etc. once every week or two. Pretty sure he has Asbergers and is an Incel. We agree on politics and religion and have fun talking about current events. He spends weekends with me sometimes so we can watch documentaries etc. and we sleep in the same bed and he has never touched me! Yay! The last time I had a romantic relationship I was 64 and the guy was 70. He got the brilliant idea to take the little blue pill one night and that was the last time a man touched me beyond shaking my hand or a hug. I have zero interest in sex now and I am thoroughly enjoying living in my own world with my kids and grandkids. I have too much to read, too many scarves to knit, too many apple pies to make, too many weeds to pull, too many seeds to plant and rose bushes to prune that I can’t be bothered meeting a new man who will most likely have tons of baggage, maybe a house that has been neglected and hoarded, lots of personal “issues” (like wanting to re-live their 20’s again with the little blue pills) and medical issues brought on by bad lifestyle choices. Not to mention past wife issues plus narcissism etc. I can safely say I will happily take my last breath with those who truly love and understand and accept me for who I was and am now. I wasted more than enough of my life with men not worthy of my time, attention and love. I will leave them for the rest of you. 😻
I have to say that the last person I was with could not perform I mean you couldn’t raise the dead with this guy, and he never ever mentioned he had ED ever. Mean the guy was as limp as a noodle. It was very embarrassing and a very uncomfortable situation.😅
I got to the point, at about 60, where I was tired of being poked "down there." When "doing it" feels like an unwelcome invasion and sleeping alone feels like the greatest luxury, why not just accept the new chapter and enjoy the peace. 😊
Yeah, I think it would have been better in my marriage had we kissed and warmed each other up, like you might do as a teen! The big issue for women is little or no warm-up. Otherwise, it does feel like an assault.
@@nitachiquita9988 Except most men are more needy than women & many won't "care" for their female partner. Try being sick, taking care of yourself & still be expected to cook dinner & clean the piss in the bathroom. Be careful what you wish for.
@@Lua658 I believe sex is not just a physicaly desire/ need for men but a deep emotional communication of love. I would find it hard to believe they did not have sex if they put the effort into getting married.
I'm 67 and dating a man my age. We have a great physical relationship and he makes me feel very desirable. I do think that getting beyond your own hangups about how you "think" you are perceived and actually allowing yourself to be seen as a beautiful person is the foundation for connection. It's all about seeing through the heart and that takes a lot of wisdom and maturity.
Wonderful insights and well spoken! And it is definitely something that comes with maturity. As expressed in the video, sex was easy in our twenties with our beautiful bodies and vigor... when the depth of physical encounters was only skin deep and we weren't necessarily looking for - nor had we experienced - a deeper mental/emotional/spiritual connection with a partner, let alone ourselves.
Sex over 60 is WONDERFUL, so long as you're not lamenting over how you look compared to when yo were 20 something. Look around at other 65 year old women and be VERY thankful for what you've got, spider veins, age spots and wrinkles included My wife of 48 years died a few years ago and I never thought I could ever find anyone who could compare, but I met a wonderful woman and I'm happier than I've eve been - I'm 78 and she's 74 and sex has never been better for either of us - Quit drowning your sorrows and get out there and meet your perfect match and he'll love you just as you are
How did you two meet? How often do you have sex? I'm a 63 yr old widowed man (was married for 19 yrs - 2 kids). I've been trying to get a GF for years now with no luck. I've tried dating apps, FB, my gym that I train at, the libraries & even the nursing homes 😆 (just joking). However, I did get hit on at Walmart the other night by a 400 lb obese woman who was riding in one of those scooters. She said I was "sexy" & wanted to exchange numbers. I said, "lady, my wife is waiting for me out in the car" & I was out of there! 🤣
Holly, I like your authenticity. As a 64 year old, I enjoy your reflections and reasoned perspective. As a Doctor, my “experienced” lady patients frequently talked about lack of confidence sexually that anyone would find them attractive (with all their wrinkles, age spots and sags). I often told them their men “wanted a connection” more than they wanted a perfect body. “But I don’t feel desirable,” was the frequent retort. Result: Sexless marriage.
sexless marriage! Sad but true I was there and finally she set me free! I really enjoy treating women nicely when I can find a date and if they love affection what a BONUS! Yes they were 15-20 years younger and they never ask my age.....I look young! I love looking at the 70 y/os as well some enjoy affection/intimacy I just haven't found one yet!......
@@melindalicht6699tried it for 20 years. Unfortunately did not work out when it comes to sex. She is more confident at her job and other relations though...
You are sooooo gorgeous! I can't get over your story about the older man commenting to you about not 'wearing makeup.' I suspect he is probably an abusive narcissist. Eff him and any man like him. Great topic!!! Awesome vid!!!
Wow, nearly my age, as well as my wife, and she has no desire whatsoever, or even to be nice enough to pass on a compliment after working on, washing and waxing her vehicle. Not that it's truly necessary, but I just believe it would be thoughtful. The last intimate session, unsure if it was a hug, or more, but that was 14 years ago, and cancer's chemotherapy, surgeries and menopause, plus loss of hormones I respect her, but her unnecessary put-downs and the condescending attitudes tend to depress me at times. I absolutely LOVE music, so I can always revert to go for a drive, or put on some headphones and forget what's going on around me, albeit I have a playlist of love songs, and those can bring on the thoughts of what I'm trying to get away from! So, when no one is around at home, I turn up the volume, and dance on my own!
As a man I found the comments about "a woman needs to feel that she is desirable" to be simply a rationale and excuse for why women don't (and from their perspective should not have to) care about sex after 60. My wife won't have sex with me and doesn't care about it. The wives of my friends are the same. It also completely eludes them that they are depriving their husbands of sex. Yes, I get the whole bit about hormones, change of life, and even many medical conditions. You have changed. You feel physically and emotionally different than when younger. But do you also feel it's appropriate to deny sex to your man? Not exactly a caring approach. Are these bitter comments. Yes, a little. But they are also honest and accurate. Women - don't pretend and selfishly delude yourself. I still love and care about my wife and will stay with her. But our relationship is now, frankly, just that of roommates. A far cry from where we used to be.
Men are designed by nature to be with younger women. We can reproduce almost until we die. Women after 40 almost never reproduce. I am 53 set to retire at 59 1/2. Divorced, I date in Colombia and Philipines. Late 20's and early 30's and nobody in those countries blinks. I visited the States with a date and everywhere we went, starring and sarcastic remarks, mostly from older, angry menopausal women. I'm sorry I'm not sorry. My sex life is amazing, and men my age in the States are deprived and almost sex starved. More importantly, the toll it takes on their self-esteem. Get a passport. Life is short.
Weird. My husband and I are both in our 60’s and we have sex 4-5 times a week. But, he hugs me, kisses me, and says/does nice things to me all day long. It’s not a “he only touches me or pays attention to me when he wants sex” kind of relationship 🤷♀️
Feeling excruciating pain maybe. That’s my experience. Better you chuck her to one side so she can get on and enjoy her life….poor woman I feel her pain 🙄
Don’t be trite please. She’s not impatient. How long is long enough? We all have little choice but to WAIT. Longing for a healthy relationship doesn’t make us impatient.
I’m 73 and as I’ve got older i find women of my own age more attractive, which is how nature should work. I think their bodies are more interesting, provided they are still attractive. Young women’s bodies although sometimes perfect can look rather bland, and not so interesting.
I think you nailed it. Very different expectations, circumstances (hormonal, body changes etc) and motivation for woman regarding sex, it's not the same... almost a completely different 'sport' than it was when we were younger! I think many men may still be motivated by physical desire, but there's so much more to it for most women at this age.
I saw your previous episode in which you mentioned that you went on a date with a 72 year old man when you were 60 and you thought he was too old. Well I am a 72 year old man who is in a new relationship with a 60 year old woman and it is going great. I try to be active by hiking and doing some workouts, but I can't say I am athletic, she is fit and is incredibly athletic and appreciates my efforts to stay healthy. We are two different people but have the same values, we have connected through little things but have grown to first respect each other. Our sexual relationship is probably the best I have ever had as we were joined emotionally first before the sex began. You are a very beautiful woman and I trust your channel will continue as you find the right companion. I thought my relationship days were over but I found out that a positive attitude attracts positive people.
Its great how you talk about sex. I am 67, male, happily married. Sex has changed a lot in our 30+yr together, from very physical to less but more expressional and emotional, also as a man I am too quick and wait and make much effort to arrouse my wife before moving further. Sometimes it means I am too late but than she supports me by getting me to an finishing line. If she's not in the mood, I just discreetly disappear to another part of our house and become selfsufficient. Ageing is not a big deal, I've always been a dreamer, later even professionally, and much richer over time. Small things, a moisture lip, a moan, is more than enough to set me off. Forget all these acrobatic or super romantic examples, thats for in a movie. Just holding hands, joking whilst doing dishes, asking your wife sitting topless in our local sauna/steamroom when nobody around, we still do at 67! I ask her to buy and wear special nice clothing, jewelry, art etc. Sex and exitement goes over so many levels. We even own our wedding car, a special classic sportscar. At 67, our best time ever, having so many rooms, both enjoy cooking and good food, able to jump in a bed at lunchtime, no bosses, no family to say what can/can't do.. Fun, relax, is the main driver. Yes, sometimes I miss my naivety, but now older, there is so much more. I find too many young and old complaining or far too serious and old fashioned. Just out of the blue, we take our van and go wild camping in nature for a couple of days. At 67 no strings, money arrives by itself, whats the problem. Just do it, as how much more time do we have, if lucky another 10 to 15 years!
I'm a new viewer. As I said in my first post, I felt very desirable when I first started dating after my divorce at 53, and I still do, at 69. My sex drive increased during menopause. I feel like as my estrogen decreased, my testosterone increased and I got a more male-like libido! My main problem is finding a partner, male or female, who can keep up with me. It took a lot of patience and perseverance but I've finally got my emotional and physical needs met with two partners, one F, one M .
@ Let me ask you a question. Is it just her appearance (this is quite relevant but putting that aide for the moment) you find “extremely extremely attractive”.
Hi Holly, Greetings from down under. I just stumbled upon your channel and found your content super interesting. I'm a couple of years older than you and I feel like I'm having the best time of my life here in Sydney. I still work but sprinkle lots of travel throughout the year to add adventure to my life. I often feel that I'm a twenty year old living in an old mans body, even though I am probably in the best shape I have been for a long time. Most weekends I walk around Sydney harbour and just take in the sea breeze and the beauty of it all. Its fantastic to be alive, I think when we get to this age we appreciate & treasure every thing so much more. Anyway have a great day, love your channel big time!
I’m 76 yrs young still married just celebrated our 55 anniversary, we’ve had times especially while I was going through menopause I totally wasn’t interested in sex, and my husband was very patient , but now he’s just turned 79 and we enjoy our sex life it’s nothing like when we were young our bodies don’t bend like they used to 🤣🤣 . But we enjoy each other still. 🌺
I would love to say I enjoy sex with my husband, I'm 66. I want to be desired & respected. Was he respecting me with his wandering eyes? Now he's sober, but is he? I've no interest in sex. I do not desire a husband who so easily put other women ahead of me.
I am 68, male. I wanted to answer you, because you made good observations about priorities changing as we get older. I married an older woman many years ago, and have been divorced 20yrs now. I felt that some of my setbacks, and her menopause ended things. My biggest problem was feeling no longer sexually desirable to her. I did not like feeling that I was a bothersome roommate, or an unruly child. The rapid dropoff in her affection and desire for sex, left me feeling extremely unhappy and lonely. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life like that. I've dated women pre-m, and post-m, and the difference in romantic desire from them is huge. I love feeling wanted and appreciatef
@@imthinking9760 true. The actor Tony Randall married a girl 50 years younger than him and had two kids with her in his late 70’s. A good match. I saw an interview with them. Men always desire sex and women over 60 not so much anymore and can go without it
I’m a woman, and I still have desire and absolutely cannot even imagine it leaving. I wish it would. Lol Then I’d give up hoping to find an awesome relationship.
Not all women change with menopause. Unusually intense desire tends to be consistent throughout a lifespan, especially when it is more psychologically based. But even biologically, some women know how to maintain well balanced hormones. It starts early, PMS is highly avoidable, by the right nutrition and wellness practices. So are menopausal symptoms. A woman who deeply values being intimate with you will cultivate her physical and mental faculties to do so. In Every season of life. 40, perimenopausal (model in my teens, still dancer/gymnast, 100lbs, PhD) And losing my mind trying to handle my desire on my own (several times a day, heavy squirter, energy-orgasms, etc.) Was never partnered and almost never date, because the connection I seek is so profound. I love children and my career has been focused on them. But I envision a childfree home focused on the relationship. This is just one example of how it sounds, when desire is too powerful to change.
I am in my later 50's, and I feel fine. I grow my own food, and I exercise. I don't eat fast food! My son died at 12 years old, and my husband left me because I couldn't make my grief move on faster. I met 7 men my age and none of them worked out. Fast forward a couple years and the guy down the road 40 something would not give up trying to get me to like him. Honestly, I was attracted to him, but skeptical. He makes me laugh. He's fun. Sex is way greater with the person you vibe with. He definitely wined, dined and charmed me. How long it'll last-who knows, but for now it's enough! Don't give up. Someone is out there for you and they are probably not on a dating site.
There's no reason it can't work out. I'm assuming if he's 40 something, he doesn't want any kids. I feel like this relationship was meant to be based on the details. I wish you both happiness and many years together 😊
You’re late 50’s and he’s in his 40’s? Lucky you. I have a life partner in his 70’s, but is in bad health. I’m in my mid-60’s. I miss the intimacy so much. I had a chance with a man 12 years younger. Guilt caught up with me. Keep on keeping on with the young guy.
At age 62 I can say that my male sex drive (which I guess was never ridiculously high compared to other men I know) has totally evaporated. Life is much less complicated now and I think I'm more open to other social experiences. Thanks for your candour!
I am 71 , almost five years on my own after my second divorce. I am not looking for no one, no dating apps and no hookups. From what I see and hear it is hard to find a woman , not controlling, not asking to live together in short time and the only thing I would need and love is someone that cares for me the way I am and I will do the same thing. I feel okay about my past. I only think very often that it seems rocket science to meet someone nice. I go out a few times and sometimes play guitar and sing. I jog and having the same weight as when I was twenty. Well , I end just saying that I not feel desperate because I can handle myself quite well. Life is a very special experience to me. All the best to you and all others over 60 finding their way in life.
interesting ❤ when I dated I discovered what made a man attractive to me was the amount of respect he has for women. When I was young and dating I cried alot because I listened to my instincts. I felt alot of negative energy from the men I met, not hosility toward me. Rather, I simply detected negative vibes from men who asked me on dates. Weird I know. But when I met the man I eventually married, I felt good, excited, and respected. We’re still married in our senior years, still in love and best friends. When your heart speaks, listen ❤
Why do you say mature woman 50-60+ aren’t desirable ? I don’t understand your logic at all, women in your age group tend to be very desirable to me. You’re still beautiful, full of wisdom and knowledge about life. Think about going on a road trip with a 25-year-old , She would not have a clue what is 5-year-olds are talking about. Give yourself a break, a lot of guys my age, which much rather spend time with a beautiful mature woman like you. Stop thinking you’re undesirable because you really are.
I'm a 63-year-old man. I dated a woman in her 50s last summer. While the sex was good, our interests were totally different. She was not interested in travel and identified as a minimalist. I introduced her to the movie "somewhere in time" before taking her to the filming locations on Mackinac island. We went to the spot where Jane Seymour asked Christopher Reeve, "is it you?" When I knew in my heart it wasn't her... She wouldn't ride a bike so we ended up walking miles and miles all over the island. She regretted her decision to walk afterwards. We had a good time but I couldn't get past the feeling that we weren't really compatible so I ended the relationship a short time later and went back to my single life. To me, a relationship is about compatibility. Sex is easy and enjoyable. Her and I had great times together but it was mostly because I brought her along and introduced her to things that she otherwise wouldn't have cared about. I'm a romantic and she wasn't. She would have been happy to sit at home working on crossword puzzles and listening to the radio. She kept telling me how lucky she was to be with me and wanted to remain friends but I couldn't see it continuing.
I believe you have to be confident and accept your age .I am a 68 year old woman ,a professional ,divorced and single .If I meet someone ,fantastic ! If not it is ok .My children are doing well and I have 2 very dear friends .I do think groups ,whether it is hobbies ,professional ,religious etc ….are the best option in order to meet people ,you will make friends also .
Absolutely loved this segment. I am a married woman of 67 years, husband 77 and we have not slept together for over 13 years. Menopause, snoring and just over it for me was the catalyst for us to choose separate bedrooms and have never looked back. The transition for a man is much greater than for the woman, but I believe it was the best choice for us. I felt tremendous guilt for a couple of years following but now I could never sleep with anyone other than my cat. Sex is sooo over -rated. Love your videos. Keep it up.
70 and married almost 50 years. we gradually stopped having sex a few years ago and replaced it with long hugs and gentle kisses. have never looked back!
So many thoughts! First: I LOVE Somewhere in Time. I rewatched that movie about 3 weeks ago, and it was like revisiting a glowy dream, and a part of myself. Mackinac Island is magical. Christopher Reeves crying scene moved me, - I forgot that scene?... Still love the movie after all these years! Second: Doesn't matter what "society says about older women", (when or if "they" say whatever dismissive comments they say), because... you only need 1. Just one guy who gets you, and you get him...Where you feel a bit of that magic. Third: About sex; personally my best advice about desiring sex, at this age, is to: get back IN your body. I made walking everyday with interval sprints, and weight training (not hard-core, but consistently) a priority. (If I aim for 7 days, I will usually get 5 in, which works.) I lost 25 pounds after 4 or 5 months, and the sad feeling of disgust when I previously looked in the mirror. I can look in the mirror now, and I'm fine. Not 27 years old but fine! And I'm close to your age. What I did was, in my head I said: this is your second job!... And some days I actually put on the rain slicker, and got out there, and walked and sprinted, even if it was storming. I just made myself!...And in the process, I REmade myself. That is very empowering. Our bodies are amazing how they still will respond to whatever level of work we put in.... And when you can actually feel the muscles in your body when you stretch, or push through that last rep, or dance, when you can almost FEEL the blood flow, and the deep breaths flowing in and out... you feel alive; and that is what I mean by getting back in your body. It is very helpful for LOVING yourself, because you feel GOOD. Not perfect, but beautiful. Fourth: Watch your words. My friends say it alot, but I won't say it: "I'm old". Scientists talk about the mind/body connection and how the cells are very inter-connected. So: I don't want to convince my body, via my thoughts, that I'm on my way out. You Know? Dying some day will happen, but staying HEALTHY is so key! I took care of 4 sick relatives who lingered a LONG time... they didn't exercise, they ate a lot of meat and processed food, they sat a lot, they gave up trying... and basically they didn't take care of themselves. No guarantees right, how long we will live, but while you are living try to stay feeling ALIVE in your skin. Fifth: No hyperbole Holly, you are beautiful. I was impressed! Your skin and tone in your face look really good. Your neck looks great too...what's your secret? Re. spider veins: zap them. Sun spots: you can lighten them. Wrinkles: I use Frownies...Flat booty: all kinds of exercises on Instagram. E.D.: there is a pill. Hormones: there are creams and patches. Bad self-talk: MEDITATION and connecting with that Holy Spirit that passes through you, and gives you a different perspective re. unconditionally loving others as you love yourself.
A woman wants to feel desired. One thing that is quite prevalent in US that makes countless women feel undesired is pornography. If a man is in a relationship and his partner is aware of him using it, it sends a message to her that she is competing with a plethora of young hot bodies. It may mean nothing to the man, but the message the woman gets is that he wants/desires something better than what she can offer. For the sexless marriages, (a discussion I found here in the comments section) the best thing for the man to do is to ensure she knows she's wanted for more than just sex, you find her beautiful in other ways, and yes, you still desire her. It can't be a sit down discussion/argument. It needs to be shown over time, to warm her back up. If she still doesn't respond. Then have the discussion. Then, maybe it's time to contemplate the status of your relationship.
I blame some men for thinking they’re better than they really are on pornography. There’s more to a man than his d 😂 I don’t think they’ve figured it out yet! The ones I’ve met think you should bow down and kiss their feet if they can still perform. Pay their bills and take care of them. Ummm noooo
I'm Gen X, so not 60 yet, but my relationship to sex and my own body has changed over time. When I was in my 20's I was underweight and basically looked like an 11 year-old boy. I was attractive, but only to a certain type of guy. Three pregnancies and many years later, I now feel more womanly, I know what I like, and I'm comfortable in my own skin...even if it's not as flawless as it used to be!
Almost 62 year old here! I live alone, I want to be alone and I need to be alone. There is nothing that a man can give me at this point in my life that I can't give myself. A manless life (in my opinion) is a peaceful life. No pressures, no obligations and no disappointments. ❤
Great subject to discuss. From a different perspective; I worked in aged care for many years and believe me, the majority of men think about sex until the day they die. I am not what you would call beautiful, just an average looking 69 year old and many times had to slap old men's hands away when caring for them.
Reminding me of a story a caretaker in a nursing home told me. This one guy purposely peed in his bed every day, because he ''enjoyed'' getting washed by her. He was grinning from ear to ear, every time. 😂🤣 He gave it up quickly when they send in a male-nurse, to take care of him. 😆
OK, I'll answer your questions. I am 63. I started dating when I turned 60, after several years on my own. I thought, heck man, you had to wait till you turned 60?!! Would anyone even set their apps age bracket to even include me? Well, they did, and still do. I have learnt more about women, myself and relationships in those three years than I did in the previous 30. Yes, woman my age want to be "seen", feel safe and have "fun". A lot seem to be on HRT. If I were female I wouldn't hesitate taking it. Oh, and relationships can be different now. No kids to have, no home to build or need to share, perhaps. If you are retired you have time for yourself and your partner. It can be far better than when you were young, sex included! My advice is get out there and live because next stop is your seventies (if we are lucky). And ladies, a good man will love you as you are. He will let you know it, so all those body anxieties will be just a thing of the past. Just like our own anxieties, they are what's stopping you not the imagined person you think is going to notice them. Mark
61 yr old single man here. I love dating women around my age, but quite a few younger women approach me and ask me out. They tell me they cant find men in their age groups that have the qualities and character of the older guys. I wont date younger women, especially those that want kids because it wouldnt be fair to them. I love women my age that have lived enough life that they dont take themselves too seriously. A smile and a laugh go a long way
I dated a lot in college and in my early 20's. I enjoyed more than a few relationships. I got together with my husband when I was 25 and we didn't have kids until we were in our mid 30's - we had lots of alone time and we enjoyed it. I can say that there was a definite difference in our before kids/after kids life together. Trying to fit in alone time together in between feedings and diaper changes...I felt like I always had someone clinging to my body and needing attention plus my familiar body had changed after pregnancy/childbirth as would be expected. That eased up once the kids were both sleeping through the night. Then came the teenage years.....where I would find myself waiting up for the kids to get home on Fri and Sat nights. Yes, our bodies change, our roles in life change. I love my husband as much as ever and we still have that spark - we still enjoy each other. But it isn't that same sort of driving hormonal force that pulled us together. Now, we are more bonded through our shared experiences, our children, our hopes for the future and just simply being enmeshed with each other over the course of 35 years. If I were to suddenly find myself alone, I do not see me ever reverting back to the flirty, cute, hormonal little chick that I was as a college kid any more than I lament over no longer launching my body down a Slip N Slide. As women, it's o.k. to want what we want.
Thank you so much for your perspective on things...I feel the same way at age 62. Kinda surprised by the no-sex couples as men have needs too (yes, they do...sorry everybody...LOL). Also, after 35+ years married, it's a different type of love, less frequent physically but more (like you said) "bonded through our shared experiences, our children, our hopes for the future and just simply being enmeshed with each other over the course of 35 years"...yup! If I had a sex drive, it's definitely much lower now, that's for sure...LOL! And I find, as I get older, I am keeping my social circle tighter, don't tolerate being treated like crap by non-immediate relatives or strangers anymore, but value much more my immediate family and long-time close friends. And the way I'm treated now, I think my husband feels the same way. ;-) After all that I have been thru in this life, I feel I've earned my right to be where I am and have what I have, at this age. I know a lot of women who feel that way for themselves.
70 and married almost 50 years. we gradually stopped having sex a few years ago and replaced it with long embraces and gentle kisses throughout the day. we get along better than we ever have for reasons such as you mention and have never looked back.
I will be 62 in December and I've been a widower for 5 years. We used to be very sexually active and would still be if cancer hadn't changed our course. We met online in 2001 and everything fell right into place. Flash forward to now, the whole dating scene seems to have degraded, the online approach apparently no longer an option and I am at a loss for what to do. As a Sagittarius I am an extreme hopeless romantic. Mutual attraction is very important to me and I have found that at my age, the women I seem to be attracted to are already taken, or regrettably so psychologically damaged from abusive relationships that they are unapparoachable. I would like to say that you are very lovely and you should know that you are quite desirable, so please don't underestimate yourself.
@@MVMullins you have to be careful online dating. Lots of scammers out there. 62 isn’t old. Could any of your friends introduce you to someone? Do you go to church or belong to any groups or clubs? Don’t give up. You deserve to find a good attractive woman
@@lindaversil1121 Thank you, scammers are pretty much all I can find online these days, that and crazy. I won't give up. I know she's out there, it's just a daunting task to try to find her.
Hi! I'm 62 from Winnipeg Canada. I'm glad you do video's, thank you. I find your perspective very refreshing, enlightening, accurate and reassuring. I'm a happy new subscriber and am binge watching your videos. Just a bit about me, I've been divorced for 15 years, after being married for 26 years. I have been dating off and on since my divorce. Fallen in love once, and am in a new 4 month old loving relationship now. Thanks again, take care.
Ok, I am male, and I will be 65 on November 15, 2024. First of all, you are extremely attractive. You take care of yourself. A lot of men and women don't. Second of all, I disagree with you on one thing: as a male it is important that I feel desirable and desired. Even as a young man, if a woman was just there and not into me, it was a real turn-off. So, you are no doubt right that women need to feel desired, but the same is true for (at least some, probably most) men.
We are 60 and 56. At 60 I can finally do life without the same, frequent need. We make appointments for it now. Time we take to "let the fur fly" Is just fun as heck. We always say wow! Why don't we do this every day? Then life happens until one of us says lets book a time. Lol Helps that we are besties too!
I agree with you. Men want to be desired and we tend to equate intimacy and desire with sex. After a certain age, it's a lot less about a hormonal drive and a lot more about feeling needed and desired.
You are 100% correct. A man also needs to be appreciated and desired by his woman. Desire is a two way street and the lack of it explains the millions of sexless marriages and divorces after 25+ years of marriage in this country.
Some straight-up honesty here. Im a woman, mid 40s, dated a 64 year old man because he was kind (wont do that again), I wasn't attracted to him, he was frail looking. I think working out and keeping fit is important as we age. Just being honnest . There are 60 year old men who are into fitness and have more muscle. I find such men more attractive. So work those muscles guys or they will shrink faster than they should !
I was considered extremely beautiful at 20 yet I had 0 self worth. Now in my 60's I love myself & I have a high sex drive. I look forward to remarrying & I'm confident my spouse will find me sexy.
I disagree with that. 63 yr old black piller here (widowed). It's looks & height - along with a good physique - that women want. I have a muscular, aesthetic physique from years of bodybuilding training. I work out 6 days a week & have 6-pack abs. However, I'm short (5-6) & average looking at best (I'm no Tom Cruise or George Clooney. Lol). I get no interest from attractive, fit women. On the dating apps, I've been rejected dozens of times by attractive, fit women in my age demographics. The only occasional "likes" I get are from unattractive, overweight/obese women many 10-15 yrs older than me. At the gym, I get more compliments from guys than I do women! 😬 Women these days overvalue themselves & have an unrealistically high SMV. They only want the hot "Chad" to sweep them off their feet in a fairlytale romance. Some actually specify this in their dating profile. Dating apps & social media have destroyed the dating market like never before.😕
You're right, I've been working out and getting spinal adjustments for 20+ years. If you take care of your body, you can get a lot more healthy years out of it.
Hi there, I just discovered your channel and was intrigued by your observations in this video and another one. Your observations resonated with this 67 year old man. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and emotions. Please don’t give up on finding love, happiness, and sex.
Things are definitely different and sometimes have their challenges. However at 63, don’t think I’ll ever grow weary of it. It is one of the most wonderful experiences life has to offer if you are in a loving relationship.
Even if seniors want intimacy, but arthritis, back pain, fatigue, etc would prevent it. They have the urge but have physical limitations due to aging body. Moreso, we age faster when we hit 60-70s. We’re just human and nobody yet has found the fountain of youth. Sure we can live longer up to 80-90s but it’s very different physically and mentally as we get much older.
@@jillsalkin7389 I don't know about that. A full set of good hair, lean, muscular physique (still does his own stunts in his films), Chad like facial features. If I looked half as good as Cruise in the face & hair dept, I might finally get some attention from the senior gals. 🤣🤣🤣
Well, I came to this video from another of the channel's videos. As I stated in the other comment section, I am 73 years old. I exercise, eat right (usually) and weigh about what I weighed at age 25. Having said all of that, sex to me has a fraction of the importance it did 50 years ago. For that reason, sex these days takes more work, more "priming" so to speak. There are a number of factors that work against us (the partner and me). I'm older and therefore not as physically attractive to both her and me. She's older and not as physically attractive to her and me. We're both older and so the libido is less for both her and me. Therefore, a relationship becomes more about companionship and less about good, old-fashion sex. But some things can go on unabated by age, things I would not do with a man no matter how good a friend he is. These would include back rubs, spur-of-the-moment romantic hugs, spontaneous kisses to cheek and neck area, brushing her hair, etc. However, it would take a bit of trial and error to learn when the moment is right for such things and are appreciated, and when such things are an annoyance.
I'm a 74 year old man dating a 69 year old woman. Sex is very important to both of us. We're both in good health, good physical condition and have a blast in the bedroom and other rooms. Hope that never changes. BTW, you're gorgeous! Hope you find someone who values you.
So glad to hear, but men that age also have difficulties getting a firm erection. How do you do it, my partner had to take Viagra and it makes him sick? So sad..😔
Hard to imagine that I am almost 70! Been married for 44 years to a wonderful man who constantly tells me how beautiful I am, how I still excite him, etc. If I did not see a functional doctor who looks at and treats post menopausal hormones as something very important, there is zero doubt I would have any interest in sex. Our doctor is our primary doctor and treats both of us. If something happened to me, i cannot imagine my husband remaining by himself. If something happened to my husband, dating or looking for another husband would be the last interest on my list. I don’t think men’s sexual thoughts lessen as they get older. They may have ED issues, but the thoughts remain the same. For the vast amount of women, it is my belief we are just not that interested, for whatever reason. Enjoy your videos and hope you run across Mr Wonderful when you least expect it. A Florida gal.
Im 58 and loving it! SEX is more fulfilling on every level. Real Men are patient.They enjoy spending time with a lady who is intelligent fun charismatic nurturing and it seems they don't really miss the the drama of emotionally immature partners
It may come as a shock: but young or old, men NEVER liked the drama of emotionally immature partners. It's something guys complain about all the time, and why so many of them are walking away from dating altogether. Most guys just cannot fathom having to deal with all of life's challenges and the added hoops they have to jump through to deal with those issues. But then again, maybe there are some guys out there who enjoy having that kind of chaos in their life, but I have never met them.
fantastic! yes Im in my mid 50's and it really depends on the guy, I think once you've met the right type of guy (not the perfect guy) but one who you can compromise with and who is understanding..and they DO exist..hang on in there..Ive never seen so many guys in their 50s/60s or 70s who are really handsome and cool.
In the past men would go out of the camp to hunt and protect and work with purpose. When they returned the woman in the camp already in anticipation had things all taken care of They would champion and celebrate their partners returns! There would be a big feast and sensuous love making ! Men want to be appreciated the same today and they should be.
IMHO the more committed the relationship the more sexual satisfied a person will be. Ultimate commitment is marriage where the union is anticipated to be for the long term - forever- until death takes one of the couple. Implied is the desire/agreement/acceptance that as the life partners change over time they agree to incorporate those changes into the relationship. Yep, that’s hard work. Yep, that’s not our current modern way of thinking. Yep, that still is the best outcome for most of us. 😊
The issue, I think, is intamacy. People lack the art of developing intimacy, probably because you need to care about the relationship first before you can develop intamacy
Single man here, 63. For me, a kind, friendly disposition is most important to me. If there's a physical attraction, well that's a nice bonus. What I hope for most in a first-meet/date situation is a sense of simply liking each other and enjoying each other's company. If there's laughter that's always an excellent sign and very important ultimately too. I still want sex but I'm self conscious about my attractiveness (or possible lack-there-of) too and it's a big part of what might allow a lot of time to pass between not only dates, but relationships. What I miss mostly is the sense of having a partner in life. I miss the mundane things like just going to the grocery store together, or taking long rides and talking. In the long run, those are the things in life beyond sex which are most important to me. Having said that, I find the poster of this video to be particularly attractive in all ways, especially since she seems so smart. I love smart woman; they're always interesting, and more intellectually engaging. Anyway, that's my two cents.
oh geez ! it's all an inside job ... ✨if you love yourself✨.... it shines thru .... at this phase if there's no soulful connection , the relationship will be shallow & good physical sex will not be a part , it starts with emotional intimacy ♥~peace~
My late husband was 58 and me 57 when he got sick. I had been missing our sex life for 6 years and then he died. I looked online about a year after his death. Wow. Most guys are really old looking at 70. I am 66 now. I am not up to dolling all up. I would love to know what these men mean by open to adventurous sex. Are we going on a safari? It's foremost on their minds. I loved sex, but because we had a connection. We had common ideas and goals. Lovemaking was the natural progression in a loving caring relationship. At this point, thinking of some strange man touching me, not him, not the one I loved. I don't want to go there. I will travel the rest of my days solo. I have back issues anyway. So its all good.❤
Omg I just found your channel and I am binge watching! How did we get in our 60’s so fast? I ‘m 61 and don’t know how it happened so fast😢love your videos, you are spot on and beautiful! You do not look like you are in your 60’s. You are beautiful like Jane S was and still is! I thought you were maybe 40🇨🇦
You know men want to feel desired, too. Women are constantly comparing themselves about physical features. Men don't care! We just love women for who where and what they are. Men don't overthink or overly care. Men just want to give love and be loved and men remain constant in this mindset from their 20's - 100's.
It's one of the things so many women keep tripping up---men wanting to feel desired. When I was in my teens it was CRIPPLING that way. I didn't have any real relationships until college. Thankfully, after being in quite a few relationships, I have experienced it. Tons of men really don't, or women love bomb them in the beginning and it changes in the long term.
Uh uh uh, my boyfriend of 2+ years says he doesn't like my stomach (it's not flat) I am 61, considered attractive, teach fitness and look 10 years younger then I am. He on the other hand has man boobs, sagging skin and looks 10 years older then his age which is 65. We almost broke up over this but he knows now how hurt I felt and is really trying hard not to say anything BUT now I am so insecure about how he made me feel I always cover myself in the bedroom.
Totally agree with you…I am a widow…only 4 years, I would love a companion ,….hate living Alone….still ..at 78 fit..interested in a loving relationship..,,..I am all for intimacy ..desire is more important than age. …be open…do not limit yourself..and do not overlook a younger man…it may be your only choice,
I am a late 50s guy, ... I find the women in their 60s, 70 and 80s desirable... I am dating a 76-year-old overweight lady, I make her my centered focus, she gets foot and back rubs. She loves to talk all the time, and I enjoy listening... I provide her with oral pleasure because she has issues with intercourse.
@@hilarygibson3150 I am a 59-year-old man, I adore women that seem to be much older. You don't gotta clean my house (I vacuum, clean the bathroom and wash dishes at my home) I might also do the same if I were to visit your home. certainly, I would help you do any guy things that you would need. I only look at the bedroom as some place to sleep unless we can we decide if there are other things to do besides sleep in the bed
I'm a man, just turned 74 years old and married 42 years. Sex is not as important to us as it was when we were young. Yes, we love each other very much and enjoy each others company. The last few years we have been Living Apart Together and that has really rekindled our relationship. Romance is now more important to us than having sex.
@Pureimagination200 . Living Apart Together is being in a committed relationship but not living together. My wife and I both have our own homes about 10 miles apart from each other and maybe 2-3 times a week visit each other. We're still married but also we have our independence. It's really the best of both worlds.
@@Pureimagination200 Where a couple in a committed relationship, lives apart in separate homes. It's the best of both worlds. Commitment and independence.
70 and married almost 50 years. we gradually stopped having sex a few years ago and replaced it with long embraces and gentle kisses throughout the day. we get along better than we ever have and have never looked back.
I recently watched Somewhere In Time again on Amazon Prime. It's one of my top 3 movies. The length's that Christopher Reeves went to try to reconnect with Jane Seymour were truly heroic. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and The Holiday are also in the top. I think it's telling me I like impossible stories of fulfilling love. I also have watched more Hallmark movies then I should admit to. But that's me, It's what I like. I have not dated since becoming a widower so I can't really give you any insights on sex in my sixties. Plumbing doesn't work as well as it used to but the last time I used it, it was a lot of fun. I haven't been alone very long (couple of months) and I have mixed emotions about remaining alone. I think you may have a point about men needing to be in a relationship. I've joined a site called Stiches and am already making some friendships and finding some activities to get involved with. I've joined your channel because I find you to be an articulate and beautiful woman with a pleasant voice. Please keep these video's coming. Thanks.
Hi. Nice video, I love how you laugh at yourself, (6mins in). I’ve been single for quite a few years now. What puts me off dating is most women seem to be very controlling, I like people who are fun and easygoing and don’t take life too seriously. As for the institution, when you kept laughing the only institution I could think of had padded walls. Personally, I don’t miss sex exactly, but I do miss kissing and having someone to cuddle up to at night.. h Take care, thanks for the laughter.
I LOVE the movie "Somewhere In a Time"! The chemistry between Seymore and Reeves was like lightening in a bottle! The music is hauntingly beautiful and inspired both the joy and longing of finding one's soulmate. I grew up in Michigan and have spent a number of summers on Mackinac Island. My college roommate was the night manager at the Grand Hotel while "Somewhere" was being filmed and shared many stories of the cast and crew. Good stuff!
I love love love this film and the music as you say is hauntingly beautiful . I was introduced to it by a very special man who I was with for 12 years he was a very interesting and intriguing person but for reasons I’ll keep to myself I walked away from that relationship but I’m sure I’ll never feel this way again
Looks aside, working out to keep muscle tone and strength is an important aspect to stop Sarcopenia, muscle wastage through ageing. Sarcopenia is a huge factor in contributing to accidents, pain, injuries, immobility that affects your overall quality of life. Exercise for your own health and mental wellbeing. Pilates and yoga are my best favourites, and I dance/jog on a rebounder, good for supporting joints 🎉
The most romantic statement I heard recently is" real love is waking up next to someone you have been with for many years, having no serial desire for them any more but would never even think about leaving them"... having a best friend you move through life with goes beyond the physical.
that's exactly where my husband and i are at today and i would have to agree. 70 and married almost 50 years. we gradually stopped having sex a few years ago and replaced it with long embraces and gentle kisses throughout the day. we get along better than we ever have and have never looked back.
At 68 I am in love with my wife. The desire for sex stems from that...its only natural to want to be close to the one you love. Sure, we both keep fit. She is my best friend, travel partner and at 61 I think she looks great and when I paint, I paint portraits of her. If not for her, I likely would stay single, move to Thailand or the Phillapines and just try and enjoy a simple life.
We did not come in this world to amuse ourselves with sex It’s the easiest and most common method of releasing your dopamine besides your smartphone We came in this world to work on ourselves to become better human beings Real happiness is when you work on yourself and people around you start seeing the difference
I believe if you develop a meaningful relationship, that relationship and the sex that goes along with it stimulates serotonin rather than dopamine. Serotonin is associated with long-lasting happiness. Dopamine, on the other hand, is a cheap quick hit.
@@chorebunny8080intimacy is possible without intercourse. Males and females pre puberty are generally asexual and there’s over 20 meds that might lower libido if high libido is lowering quality of life by being annoying
I’m 59yo, I still consider myself to be a good looking woman, but regardless of age there absolutely has to be chemistry and I don’t think some men get that, which to me means we’re not even on the same page.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. You seem to have figured out much of the issues. The only quibble I have with your assessment is that of men living alone. As a 67 yo living alone for a few years now, I can honestly say that my life has more peaceful days/nights than I ever had when I was married. The bonus of being older as a man is that I really don't care about sex. It's very liberating. Since my daughters are grown and moved away, it's really just about me now. Not that I need my life to revolve around myself, but I don't have the drama that most women feel is necessary to continually introduce into day to day life that was stressing me. I think you are a quality woman and I hope you are able to find someone that meets your expectations. Best of luck!
Like it or not sex will keep you young. At 80 do see girls and ladies in their 20’s and 30’s who have not taken care of their apperance and I would not want to date them
73 year old man here. Sex? My sex drive has never diminished. No medications, much cleaner diet, currently taking a break from long term exercise. And......I don't need to get laid to feel lovable.
I was just telling a female friend that as a 51 year old with way too much experience in the sex department, in my experience, sex ruins literally everything with a relationship. If I was ever to be in a somethingship again, I could very easily see it being sexless. Hard to say that as someone with as healthy of a sex drive as I have, but the chaos it causes, just isn't worth the squeeze.
I've always said it too. I actually met my ex online nearly 6 years ago. We are still in contact. He's a great bloke but sex mad. We'd still be together if it wasn't for that. The thing is, he's over 60 and can't actually manage it that often but is obsessed with trying! It's so tiresome.
I'm really glad someone is talking about this. I'm 64, divorced (thank goodness) for 3 years. I haven't dated anyone yet--and I'd like to because, well, I ain't dead yet!
I'm 69. I was in for a big surprise when I decided I wanted to start dating again. I wasn't really sure what I was looking for or what I'd find. I've been taking care of myself, so I felt attractive enough. One of the first guys I met, I found myself physically very attracted to. He was a few years older than me. I previously, in my life, had generally always gone out with younger guys. Anyway, what a surprise! I found myself feeling like a teenager again. I mean the butterflies in the stomach, the whole bit. I was mentally and physically attracted to him. I honestly didn't think that was possible any more... but it really did happen. Unfortunately, there were some large differences between us and it didn't even get to the having sex part... but Wow... I sure was floored by the way I reacted! I'll never again assume I'm too old to re-ignite that passion.
I'm a single guy in my mid 60's. It's all about effort. Health, love, and sex can be just as good as when you were younger if you make the effort. It's effort that wanes with age for most people. Effort means keeping the weight off, working out at least 3x a week (with weights and not popsicle sticks), eating healthy, having tons of interests, making a surprise weekend getaway to the beach or mountains with your partner, and when you come out of the bedroom with them, make the room look like a burglary just took place and your neighbors know their name.
@@kilamilka97 Haha, that may be true, but I will not go quietly to the grave. Father Time will have to tap me on the shoulder and say, "Hey, what are you doing?!".
@@Charles-l6h4b love that you have this much enthusiasm about life. I'm especially curious about how you manage the aches and pains...they are sadly a thing. I work in agriculture and every day I wake up extra early just to prepare for the day!
@@kilamilka97 I don't have aches and pains. I should because I am in the middle of remodeling my house, myself, from top to bottom. I'm replacing garage doors and gutters, painting rooms, gutting bathrooms, and putting up crown molding. I live on an acre that I mow, chainsaw limbs from my 32 trees, and burn yard waste. Climb on my roof and blow off the leaves. I don't know if it's because I am a vegetarian or because I've lifted weights for 30 years. No meds, no medical issues. I wouldn't call it "enthusiasm", I just haven't hit the age yet where I feel old. Maybe it is genes, but my brother has had tons of issues and he is also the complete opposite of me: no lifelong DIY'er, normal eating, no exercise.
A relationship is whatever you make it! You decide what you want the relationship to be and communicate that to your partner. I am a celibate Christian and I don't have sex, but I still like the company of a woman. It is your choice!!!
Hey there Holly - I think that it was Jackie Kennedy Onassis who opined that a woman's first marriage was for love, her second marriage was for financial security and her third and final marriage was for companionship 🙂
@Zepster77. Low dose hormone replacement therapy, coconut oil for lubrication, alternative methods, vibrators. Low salt diet, Mediterranean diet with olive oil, almost no saturated fat. No sugar, very little to no fruit. High saturated fat sugar, high salt dehydrated skin and damages liver and kidneys which affect the skin internally and externally. Exercise. Walking helps the pelvic floor muscles and strengthens back and abdominal muscle. Do stretches, gradually and carefully do Asian squats to loosen tendons in hips to avoid hip replacement. This not just for sex but to live healthy and better
There is a plethora of info about postmenopausal pain during sex. Vaginal tissue thinning, and atrophy, lack of estrogen lowers libido and lubrication. The oasis has dried up. There are treatments. Helps for some people, not all.
I just watched your videos for the first time tonight. I'm 61. 100% agree with you re you NEED to feel desirable first before you can enjoy sex. Don't settle for less than that.
Sex after 50 is all about the lighting. Before I lost my wife, we were porn stars in the dark. Ladies like you give us older fellas some hope. I cannot believe the things men say and do. We must say the stupidest shit out of insecurity. Not to be an X man..but I had a bad one this last one. Best and worst kinda thing. My healing has led me to energy clearings and trauma release. I dealt with childhood trauma I didn't even know existed. I'm becoming sovereign. Talk about lonely! Thankfully my season is almost over..at least it feels like it. I'm ready to live again ..and have sex in the perfect dim light. Much Love.
Grateful for you sharing your thoughts. As a single guy in my mid-50sI am paying keen attention. You are a thoughtful, smart -- beautiful - woman. Exactly the the sort of woman I am hoping to meet!
Came across this video. Thought you might have more to say based upon your experience and observations. I am over 70, have a long distance relationship with a wmn of similar age. We manage to meet at least monthly. Both of us are in reasonably fit and healthy condition. Our sxx/intimate life is very enjoyable. I remember among my female coworkers, some complained about their husband's desire for them. And many of them were not just overweight, but obese. The human need for close physical intimate contact is well documented. If couples stop intimate contact, the close psychological connection withers. The casual affection and playfulness fades. They become roommates and maybe friends. Studies in orphanages have shown that newborns need close physical contact. Without it, they fail to thrive. Don't remember, but believe that some isolated/ignored newborns die. This need for physical contact is built into us as animals. You can see similar needs among other, especially mammalian species. Saw that fantasy film yrs ago. Just like wmn enjoy romance novels, wmn are in love with love; the idea, the fantasy, of love. The other person is secondary. Think that men love more authentically. They use their minds and make a decision, a commitment to the other person. Not just enjoying a shallow, and often transitory feeling. It's the feeling that hooks wmn; not the full reality of another person. Appreciate the topic. Hope you might have some more thoughts. Thanks. 🤔🤔🤔
I’m 67, been widowed for 10 years, and would love a relationship! I take care of myself & am very fit, but difficult to find a man this age who also takes care of himself. I’m not giving up…🙂 I don’t have an interest in online dating, and think I will meet someone organically, so to speak. As far as sex, I think that a lot of women who prefer not to have it, either are able to please themselves better than husband can…or do not know how to bring themselves to orgasm and therefore find no pleasure in the act (either alone or with partner) Communication is the key…it it so lovely to share sex and does supercharge the relationship. Thanks for the posts…I am new subscriber.
Talking about sex after 60 is an important and often overlooked conversation. As we age, intimacy and sexual health can change, but many people continue to enjoy fulfilling sexual relationships well into their senior years.
Holly, I can recommend looking up psychologist and couples councillor Ester Perel on UA-cam, plenty of talks about relationship dynamics. As I understand it Ester says we all need a base of stability to feel safe, secure, loved, wanted - but also need, from time to time, to break out with adventure, excitement, exploring, discovery to keep things interesting. It's a balance, a partner always adventuring will not be grounded, a safe and secure only partner will appear dull soon enough. Women, in general, want / need to feel they are with somone they can trust before they begin adventuring. Sex is a form of adventure, and I suspect your trepidation is mainly because you need to feel secure before stepping out. Me dating, I mix and match, having a coffee date in a bookshop where we can sit in comfort and peruse the camping and travel books to talk about the places we would really like to go...
No way 😊
@@Nabagabo22. This may be considered wrong but more older couples should venture out and know more of the opposite sex as I believe we get tired of our long term mates. If wanted that may even entail a sex adventure. At the stage of 60-70-80 it should not be catastrophic. This might require suffocating the fear of abandonment. A good fling might be a personality awakening! Get out of the doldrums. That’s for both spouses.
You are still very beautiful ,and very sexy looking for a lady in your 60s .You look so young and very fit looking 👌 ❤
One of my favorite movies ❤
I think the idea of sex is more exciting than sex itself.
@@jimnicosia5934 Oh, grasshopper! Sex is ALL about the "IDEA," of it... the imagination of it... the creativity of it...or at least it is for me. As it is said, " The biggest sex organ is the one between your ears." Please excuse the crude metaphor... but good sex is all about literally and figuratively giving your partner HEAD - the full attention of your imagination and creativity combined with the intention of fully physically satisfying your partner.
Stupid comment. You need to get laid.
Some people call it loneliness. I call it freedom.
Amen 🙏
Amen
Well said!
@Wholelotamoxy 🙂
WE can ALL be alone. Some of us prefer to share it all with a special person. I say NEVER GIVE UP.
I am nearly 80. the subject you raise here is much better and far more exciting as my wife and I age. she is the same age. there is a mental transformation that takes place as we age and mature emotionally. This is the best time of my life regarding this subject, people say we act like newly weds but we have been married for decades. 29 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren.
Are both of you still able to enjoy sex? I'm inquisitive
Bragging bragging! I was married 1 time,stole my 2 houses,it took me 4 years to get rid of him! No kids@ thank you lord!!!!
@@pablooso1941 You two are soul mates 🥰🥰
@@patriciavandevelde5469 yes and they think this only happens to men! I was married 6 years to a bully before I left. He got the house and all I got back was the deposit I paid for the deposit. I even earned more than him before we had our daughter.
Thanks for sharing your experience
🎉❤🎉
I appreciate it
I’m a 50-year-old man, and nowadays a sexy personality is as important as physical attraction. A woman doesn’t have to be the most beautiful or look like she did when she was younger, because your priorities change as you age, as mentioned in this video. Thanks for posting this, it made me think
Hi james 😊
I'm 69.. he's 50.. our sex is amazing 🤩...I do feel a fool sometimes at my age, but he thinks I'm beautiful, and life is for living...
Totally agree !!!
Vitality is part of the attraction.
@X-7-JAMES Yes I look at my dates pictures of them young and very attractive. It's still the SAME PERSON inside. Looks matter far less as we age. Some men are very handsome pre 40. They don't always age well necessarily!! 🙄🙄
I’m 65. No interest in sex whatsoever. Was in a ten year relationship with a narcissist and that helped to destroy any small desire I might have had. I played along for all those years. He didn’t notice or didn’t care. I suspect a bit of both. Perhaps it’s because I went through menopause at 44. No ill effects at all. If anything I felt better. So now after 7 years on my own the thought of physical intimacy is so foreign to me. Another reason I don’t date. Most men want sex. I just want a companion. Someone to share and lean on. It’s difficult going from being an attractive female used to turning heads to become virtually invisible. Yes it’s difficult. I do want to mention that you look very beautiful and much younger than your age. Glad I found your channel.
Omg. I was with a man also that had similar traits. I’m no longer interested in sex at all. It’s quite sad I guess but I’d much rather curl up alone in my bed at night with my cat 😊
Yep, same here
@ precisely my feelings also. We are better off. It seems most men never lose interest in sex. Mine was in his 70’s but was also a narcissist. I don’t miss it at all.
@@kathybrem880 yes there are more of them than we ever imagined. They do so much damage. Thing was the universe tried to warn me to not enter the relationship. I mean it was a strong loud and clear message( twice!) and I ignored it. Never again. I listen now.
I'm 63 and on the very same page as each of you on this thread. Exactly. I'm also an introvert, and I do believe that us introverts have an easier journey in finding contentment in solitude, and thank goodness for that! I'm glad I found this channel.
I am 60 years old and in love with a 65 year old man and having the best sex of my life by far. I am so grateful that I am getting to experience a relationship of this depth and passion in the Autumn of my life. I was just accepting that that wasn’t a part of my life story. Just goes to show you its never too late.
You both are blessed, have fun!
She looks better than women even a third of her age.
Please stop making all of this about looks verry sexist remarks ❤❤❤to all love to all
@@vannesagannon4555damn girl! Just accept a compliment!
@@vannesagannon4555 they just can't help it. It seems no amount of education works and falls on deaf ears.
@@vannesagannon4555that's easy for women to say. Men have to perform and "rise to the occasion", so to speak, so the more attractive the woman is, the better the "rise". Men just can't lay there and fake it like women can.
@@Heinz57ishsee my above comment. Have a nice day!
I am a 74 y/o grandma here in SoCal.
Just went home to Ohio this summer and so many women I met I knew from high school gushed over how pretty I was. Most of the men and women I saw there were over weight, out of shape and not inquisitive about the world we are now living in. (“What do you mean we are close to WW 3??!”)
I think living in SoCal has made me more conscious of how I look, even though my hair has lots of silver streaks and I never buy new clothes because I can’t afford it and I really don’t care. I wear one of my sons torn up Diesel jeans and a pretty shirt I got at Victoria’s Secret 40 years ago and plenty of women here tell how “classy” I always look, especially when I wear my $30 shades from Target bought five years ago.
I have been divorced for years and all the men who were in my life have died!
I have one friend from 30 years ago I go out with for lunch etc. once every week or two. Pretty sure he has Asbergers and is an Incel. We agree on politics and religion and have fun talking about current events. He spends weekends with me sometimes so we can watch documentaries etc. and we sleep in the same bed and he has never touched me! Yay!
The last time I had a romantic relationship I was 64 and the guy was 70. He got the brilliant idea to take the little blue pill one night and that was the last time a man touched me beyond shaking my hand or a hug.
I have zero interest in sex now and I am thoroughly enjoying living in my own world with my kids and grandkids. I have too much to read, too many scarves to knit, too many apple pies to make, too many weeds to pull, too many seeds to plant and rose bushes to prune that I can’t be bothered meeting a new man who will most likely have tons of baggage, maybe a house that has been neglected and hoarded, lots of personal “issues” (like wanting to re-live their 20’s again with the little blue pills) and medical issues brought on by bad lifestyle choices. Not to mention past wife issues plus narcissism etc.
I can safely say I will happily take my last breath with those who truly love and understand and accept me for who I was and am now.
I wasted more than enough of my life with men not worthy of my time, attention and love.
I will leave them for the rest of you. 😻
Bravo. You go girl!
To each his or her own
Damn Abby! You could write a book! I’d love to illustrate it!!👍🏻
I have to say that the last person I was with could not perform I mean you couldn’t raise the dead with this guy, and he never ever mentioned he had ED ever. Mean the guy was as limp as a noodle. It was very embarrassing and a very uncomfortable situation.😅
I feel exactly the same. Loving life on my own. I’m only 65 but cannot imagine ever having another relationship with a man unless he’s gay.
I got to the point, at about 60, where I was tired of being poked "down there." When "doing it" feels like an unwelcome invasion and sleeping alone feels like the greatest luxury, why not just accept the new chapter and enjoy the peace. 😊
Yeah, I think it would have been better in my marriage had we kissed and warmed each other up, like you might do as a teen! The big issue for women is little or no warm-up. Otherwise, it does feel like an assault.
Invasion Of The Bodypokers - sounds like a horror movie from the 60s! ☠️ some men have no panache
@@liana2136 indeed I do. Don’t miss it but when you’re unwell on your own it’s not easy. That’s the only time I really miss having someone
@@nitachiquita9988 Except most men are more needy than women & many won't "care" for their female partner. Try being sick, taking care of yourself & still be expected to cook dinner & clean the piss in the bathroom. Be careful what you wish for.
I love knowing I never have to do that again!
My friend just got married at 80,her husband 72. Madly in love and both youth-full. They are not thinking about age. They met volunteering.
@@gabbypage6929 That is such a beautiful story. I truly believe you're never too old to fall in love 🥰
Maybe they are just companions and don't have sex 🙄... Although they can love each other...
@@Lua658 I believe sex is not just a physicaly desire/ need for men but a deep emotional communication of love. I would find it hard to believe they did not have sex if they put the effort into getting married.
I love this story!❤
Awwwwwwww❤❤❤❤
I'm 67 and dating a man my age. We have a great physical relationship and he makes me feel very desirable. I do think that getting beyond your own hangups about how you "think" you are perceived and actually allowing yourself to be seen as a beautiful person is the foundation for connection. It's all about seeing through the heart and that takes a lot of wisdom and maturity.
❤
I agree. Sometimes we can be our own worse enemies.
Well said. It’s different and in some ways better. Maybe because we appreciate it more. Loving touch is so important. Rejuvenating.
Wonderful insights and well spoken! And it is definitely something that comes with maturity.
As expressed in the video, sex was easy in our twenties with our beautiful bodies and vigor... when the depth of physical encounters was only skin deep and we weren't necessarily looking for - nor had we experienced - a deeper mental/emotional/spiritual connection with a partner, let alone ourselves.
Sex over 60 is WONDERFUL, so long as you're not lamenting over how you look compared to when yo were 20 something. Look around at other 65 year old women and be VERY thankful for what you've got, spider veins, age spots and wrinkles included
My wife of 48 years died a few years ago and I never thought I could ever find anyone who could compare, but I met a wonderful woman and I'm happier than I've eve been - I'm 78 and she's 74 and sex has never been better for either of us - Quit drowning your sorrows and get out there and meet your perfect match and he'll love you just as you are
A 78 year old, and no erectile dysfunction; a 74 year old and no vaginal dryness?
Are you saying you love her more than your dead wife? 😣
How did you two meet? How often do you have sex? I'm a 63 yr old widowed man (was married for 19 yrs - 2 kids). I've been trying to get a GF for years now with no luck. I've tried dating apps, FB, my gym that I train at, the libraries & even the nursing homes 😆 (just joking). However, I did get hit on at Walmart the other night by a 400 lb obese woman who was riding in one of those scooters. She said I was "sexy" & wanted to exchange numbers. I said, "lady, my wife is waiting for me out in the car" & I was out of there! 🤣
@@nomad6086Yikes 😳🤣🤣🤣
@@nomad6086😂
Holly, I like your authenticity. As a 64 year old, I enjoy your reflections and reasoned perspective. As a Doctor, my “experienced” lady patients frequently talked about lack of confidence sexually that anyone would find them attractive (with all their wrinkles, age spots and sags). I often told them their men “wanted a connection” more than they wanted a perfect body. “But I don’t feel desirable,” was the frequent retort. Result: Sexless marriage.
sexless marriage! Sad but true I was there and finally she set me free! I really enjoy treating women nicely when I can find a date and if they love affection what a BONUS! Yes they were 15-20 years younger and they never ask my age.....I look young! I love looking at the 70 y/os as well some enjoy affection/intimacy I just haven't found one yet!......
That's the truth...women are designed to feel desired. Without it , well it's over. No more intimacy.
Men can help by building them up.
@@melindalicht6699tried it for 20 years. Unfortunately did not work out when it comes to sex. She is more confident at her job and other relations though...
@@jessicahitchens6926Great input to the conversation
You are 100% spot on...women in their 60's want to feel desirable
It doesn’t come easy over 60 you gotta work for it
I know men want me, however I don’t want that kind of attention!
feeling desirable isn't a thing anyone else can provide for you. it has to come from within.
You are sooooo gorgeous! I can't get over your story about the older man commenting to you about not 'wearing makeup.' I suspect he is probably an abusive narcissist. Eff him and any man like him. Great topic!!! Awesome vid!!!
The man who made the 'no makeup' comment did it to undermine her confidence so he had a better chance with her.
I'm 64 and would love to have a sex life! Just so difficult finding someone suitable! The park is stunning btw and you're very beautiful!
@StockportGirl same here
@@parkwood6334- Exactly! She dodged a bullet there.
65 here My wonderful Wife is beautiful 64.45 years of marriage.Yep I am smiling.
The connection starts in my head, then my heart ❤️ and then I feel safe enough…
That is a healthy safe mature approach to sex
I'm 71, my wife is 62....and yes, I find her very desirable and we have a healthy sex life. No issues there.
Tear it up bra!!🔥💯
Cradle robber😅
Wow, nearly my age, as well as my wife, and she has no desire whatsoever, or even to be nice enough to pass on a compliment after working on, washing and waxing her vehicle. Not that it's truly necessary, but I just believe it would be thoughtful. The last intimate session, unsure if it was a hug, or more, but that was 14 years ago, and cancer's chemotherapy, surgeries and menopause, plus loss of hormones I respect her, but her unnecessary put-downs and the condescending attitudes tend to depress me at times. I absolutely LOVE music, so I can always revert to go for a drive, or put on some headphones and forget what's going on around me, albeit I have a playlist of love songs, and those can bring on the thoughts of what I'm trying to get away from! So, when no one is around at home, I turn up the volume, and dance on my own!
As a man I found the comments about "a woman needs to feel that she is desirable" to be simply a rationale and excuse for why women don't (and from their perspective should not have to) care about sex after 60. My wife won't have sex with me and doesn't care about it. The wives of my friends are the same. It also completely eludes them that they are depriving their husbands of sex. Yes, I get the whole bit about hormones, change of life, and even many medical conditions. You have changed. You feel physically and emotionally different than when younger. But do you also feel it's appropriate to deny sex to your man? Not exactly a caring approach. Are these bitter comments. Yes, a little. But they are also honest and accurate. Women - don't pretend and selfishly delude yourself. I still love and care about my wife and will stay with her. But our relationship is now, frankly, just that of roommates. A far cry from where we used to be.
Men are designed by nature to be with younger women. We can reproduce almost until we die. Women after 40 almost never reproduce. I am 53 set to retire at 59 1/2. Divorced, I date in Colombia and Philipines. Late 20's and early 30's and nobody in those countries blinks. I visited the States with a date and everywhere we went, starring and sarcastic remarks, mostly from older, angry menopausal women. I'm sorry I'm not sorry. My sex life is amazing, and men my age in the States are deprived and almost sex starved. More importantly, the toll it takes on their self-esteem. Get a passport. Life is short.
They are not delusional. They are quite aware, they just don’t care.
Weird. My husband and I are both in our 60’s and we have sex 4-5 times a week. But, he hugs me, kisses me, and says/does nice things to me all day long. It’s not a “he only touches me or pays attention to me when he wants sex” kind of relationship 🤷♀️
Feeling excruciating pain maybe. That’s my experience. Better you chuck her to one side so she can get on and enjoy her life….poor woman I feel her pain 🙄
@RT-mn2pb Do what us smart guys do. Get a passport
I'm a 44yr. old man and I think you're very attractive. Don't give up, we live in an instant generation. Just be patient!!!
Don’t be trite please. She’s not impatient. How long is long enough? We all have little choice but to WAIT. Longing for a healthy relationship doesn’t make us impatient.
I’m 73 and as I’ve got older i find women of my own age more attractive, which is how nature should work. I think their bodies are more interesting, provided they are still attractive. Young women’s bodies although sometimes perfect can look rather bland, and not so interesting.
Your eyes are getting worse! 🤓
@@gbone7581 Hahaha. 🤣
The real truth is found in facial expressions…🤣🎶😻
Ouch...💀👽
@@gbone7581100% although probably a blessing
I think you nailed it. Very different expectations, circumstances (hormonal, body changes etc) and motivation for woman regarding sex, it's not the same... almost a completely different 'sport' than it was when we were younger! I think many men may still be motivated by physical desire, but there's so much more to it for most women at this age.
I saw your previous episode in which you mentioned that you went on a date with a 72 year old man when you were 60 and you thought he was too old. Well I am a 72 year old man who is in a new relationship with a 60 year old woman and it is going great. I try to be active by hiking and doing some workouts, but I can't say I am athletic, she is fit and is incredibly athletic and appreciates my efforts to stay healthy. We are two different people but have the same values, we have connected through little things but have grown to first respect each other. Our sexual relationship is probably the best I have ever had as we were joined emotionally first before the sex began.
You are a very beautiful woman and I trust your channel will continue as you find the right companion. I thought my relationship days were over but I found out that a positive attitude attracts positive people.
I think she may have had a more positive take on that date if the man hadn't been a jerk!
Its great how you talk about sex. I am 67, male, happily married. Sex has changed a lot in our 30+yr together, from very physical to less but more expressional and emotional, also as a man I am too quick and wait and make much effort to arrouse my wife before moving further. Sometimes it means I am too late but than she supports me by getting me to an finishing line. If she's not in the mood, I just discreetly disappear to another part of our house and become selfsufficient. Ageing is not a big deal, I've always been a dreamer, later even professionally, and much richer over time. Small things, a moisture lip, a moan, is more than enough to set me off. Forget all these acrobatic or super romantic examples, thats for in a movie. Just holding hands, joking whilst doing dishes, asking your wife sitting topless in our local sauna/steamroom when nobody around, we still do at 67! I ask her to buy and wear special nice clothing, jewelry, art etc. Sex and exitement goes over so many levels. We even own our wedding car, a special classic sportscar. At 67, our best time ever, having so many rooms, both enjoy cooking and good food, able to jump in a bed at lunchtime, no bosses, no family to say what can/can't do.. Fun, relax, is the main driver. Yes, sometimes I miss my naivety, but now older, there is so much more. I find too many young and old complaining or far too serious and old fashioned. Just out of the blue, we take our van and go wild camping in nature for a couple of days. At 67 no strings, money arrives by itself, whats the problem. Just do it, as how much more time do we have, if lucky another 10 to 15 years!
That's great, man!
I'm a new viewer. As I said in my first post, I felt very desirable when I first started dating after my divorce at 53, and I still do, at 69. My sex drive increased during menopause. I feel like as my estrogen decreased, my testosterone increased and I got a more male-like libido! My main problem is finding a partner, male or female, who can keep up with me. It took a lot of patience and perseverance but I've finally got my emotional and physical needs met with two partners, one F, one M .
As a 53 year old man, I find the lady in this video to be extremely extremely attractive. I'm being very honest. Hello from Taiwan.
Do you really not know by now what’s going on, here?
Hello, you Taiwanese simp🍆
@@JRake32 Can you pls explain? It would help a lot to share thoughts
@ Let me ask you a question. Is it just her appearance (this is quite relevant but putting that aide for the moment) you find “extremely extremely attractive”.
Yes she is lovely.
Hi Holly, Greetings from down under. I just stumbled upon your channel and found your content super interesting. I'm a couple of years older than you and I feel like I'm having the best time of my life here in Sydney. I still work but sprinkle lots of travel throughout the year to add adventure to my life. I often feel that I'm a twenty year old living in an old mans body, even though I am probably in the best shape I have been for a long time. Most weekends I walk around Sydney harbour and just take in the sea breeze and the beauty of it all. Its fantastic to be alive, I think when we get to this age we appreciate & treasure every thing so much more. Anyway have a great day, love your channel big time!
I’m 76 yrs young still married just celebrated our 55 anniversary, we’ve had times especially while I was going through menopause I totally wasn’t interested in sex, and my husband was very patient , but now he’s just turned 79 and we enjoy our sex life it’s nothing like when we were young our bodies don’t bend like they used to 🤣🤣 .
But we enjoy each other still. 🌺
That's absolutely wonderful! Happy for you both!!
I would love to say I enjoy sex with my husband, I'm 66. I want to be desired & respected. Was he respecting me with his wandering eyes? Now he's sober, but is he? I've no interest in sex. I do not desire a husband who so easily put other women ahead of me.
I am 68, male. I wanted to answer you, because you made good observations about priorities changing as we get older. I married an older woman many years ago, and have been divorced 20yrs now. I felt that some of my setbacks, and her menopause ended things. My biggest problem was feeling no longer sexually desirable to her. I did not like feeling that I was a bothersome roommate, or an unruly child. The rapid dropoff in her affection and desire for sex, left me feeling extremely unhappy and lonely. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life like that. I've dated women pre-m, and post-m, and the difference in romantic desire from them is huge. I love feeling wanted and appreciatef
@@imthinking9760 true. The actor Tony Randall married a girl 50 years younger than him and had two kids with her in his late 70’s. A good match. I saw an interview with them. Men always desire sex and women over 60 not so much anymore and can go without it
I’m a woman, and I still have desire and absolutely cannot even imagine it leaving.
I wish it would. Lol
Then I’d give up hoping to find an awesome relationship.
Not all women change with menopause. Unusually intense desire tends to be consistent throughout a lifespan, especially when it is more psychologically based. But even biologically, some women know how to maintain well balanced hormones. It starts early, PMS is highly avoidable, by the right nutrition and wellness practices. So are menopausal symptoms. A woman who deeply values being intimate with you will cultivate her physical and mental faculties to do so. In Every season of life.
40, perimenopausal
(model in my teens, still dancer/gymnast, 100lbs, PhD)
And losing my mind trying to handle my desire on my own (several times a day, heavy squirter, energy-orgasms, etc.)
Was never partnered and almost never date, because the connection I seek is so profound.
I love children and my career has been focused on them. But I envision a childfree home focused on the relationship.
This is just one example of how it sounds, when desire is too powerful to change.
@@SaeZuri-g4ngood luck
I am in my later 50's, and I feel fine. I grow my own food, and I exercise. I don't eat fast food! My son died at 12 years old, and my husband left me because I couldn't make my grief move on faster. I met 7 men my age and none of them worked out. Fast forward a couple years and the guy down the road 40 something would not give up trying to get me to like him. Honestly, I was attracted to him, but skeptical. He makes me laugh. He's fun. Sex is way greater with the person you vibe with. He definitely wined, dined and charmed me. How long it'll last-who knows, but for now it's enough! Don't give up. Someone is out there for you and they are probably not on a dating site.
@bettercalhoun5865 love it thanks for sharing !
There's no reason it can't work out. I'm assuming if he's 40 something, he doesn't want any kids. I feel like this relationship was meant to be based on the details. I wish you both happiness and many years together 😊
You’re late 50’s and he’s in his 40’s? Lucky you. I have a life partner in his 70’s, but is in bad health. I’m in my mid-60’s. I miss the intimacy so much. I had a chance with a man 12 years younger. Guilt caught up with me. Keep on keeping on with the young guy.
I'm so sorry for you loss, thank you so much for sharing
Cowgirl up on that!!! Ride ‘em till the bell!😄🍌
At age 62 I can say that my male sex drive (which I guess was never ridiculously high compared to other men I know) has totally evaporated. Life is much less complicated now and I think I'm more open to other social experiences. Thanks for your candour!
I see, I am 51, female and still having big desire, this is a huge problem, when the male partner would rather sleep
@ I'm sure it is!
What kind of shape are you in? On meds? Get your T levels checked.
@@user-wi5gv8gs3e Not all are matched the same, but there is someone out there for you!
@@user-wi5gv8gs3e you need to be sure your partner is as eager as you are then, LOL!
I am 71 , almost five years on my own after my second divorce. I am not looking for no one, no dating apps and no hookups. From what I see and hear it is hard to find a woman , not controlling, not asking to live together in short time and the only thing I would need and love is someone that cares for me the way I am and I will do the same thing. I feel okay about my past. I only think very often that it seems rocket science to meet someone nice. I go out a few times and sometimes play guitar and sing. I jog and having the same weight as when I was twenty. Well , I end just saying that I not feel desperate because I can handle myself quite well. Life is a very special experience to me. All the best to you and all others over 60 finding their way in life.
interesting ❤ when I dated I discovered what made a man attractive to me was the amount of respect he has for women. When I was young and dating I cried alot because I listened to my instincts. I felt alot of negative energy from the men I met, not hosility toward me. Rather, I simply detected negative vibes from men who asked me on dates. Weird I know. But when I met the man I eventually married, I felt good, excited, and respected. We’re still married in our senior years, still in love and best friends. When your heart speaks, listen ❤
Why do you say mature woman 50-60+ aren’t desirable ?
I don’t understand your logic at all, women in your age group tend to be very desirable to me. You’re still beautiful, full of wisdom and knowledge about life.
Think about going on a road trip with a 25-year-old , She would not have a clue what is 5-year-olds are talking about. Give yourself a break, a lot of guys my age, which much rather spend time with a beautiful mature woman like you. Stop thinking you’re undesirable because you really are.
How old are you.
I agree with you!
I'm a 63-year-old man. I dated a woman in her 50s last summer. While the sex was good, our interests were totally different.
She was not interested in travel and identified as a minimalist.
I introduced her to the movie "somewhere in time" before taking her to the filming locations on Mackinac island. We went to the spot where Jane Seymour asked Christopher Reeve, "is it you?" When I knew in my heart it wasn't her...
She wouldn't ride a bike so we ended up walking miles and miles all over the island. She regretted her decision to walk afterwards. We had a good time but I couldn't get past the feeling that we weren't really compatible so I ended the relationship a short time later and went back to my single life. To me, a relationship is about compatibility. Sex is easy and enjoyable. Her and I had great times together but it was mostly because I brought her along and introduced her to things that she otherwise wouldn't have cared about. I'm a romantic and she wasn't. She would have been happy to sit at home working on crossword puzzles and listening to the radio. She kept telling me how lucky she was to be with me and wanted to remain friends but I couldn't see it continuing.
I believe you have to be confident and accept your age .I am a 68 year old woman ,a professional ,divorced and single .If I meet someone ,fantastic ! If not it is ok .My children are doing well and I have 2 very dear friends .I do think groups ,whether it is hobbies ,professional ,religious etc ….are the best option in order to meet people ,you will make friends also .
Thank you for your response
Absolutely loved this segment. I am a married woman of 67 years, husband 77 and we have not slept together for over 13 years. Menopause, snoring and just over it for me was the catalyst for us to choose separate bedrooms and have never looked back. The transition for a man is much greater than for the woman, but I believe it was the best choice for us. I felt tremendous guilt for a couple of years following but now I could never sleep with anyone other than my cat. Sex is sooo over -rated. Love your videos. Keep it up.
70 and married almost 50 years. we gradually stopped having sex a few years ago and replaced it with long hugs and gentle kisses. have never looked back!
Your husband has a side chick. Check it out.
So many thoughts!
First: I LOVE Somewhere in Time. I rewatched that movie about 3 weeks ago, and it was like revisiting a glowy dream, and a part of myself.
Mackinac Island is magical. Christopher Reeves crying scene moved me, - I forgot that scene?... Still love the movie after all these years!
Second: Doesn't matter what "society says about older women", (when or if "they" say whatever dismissive comments they say), because... you only need 1.
Just one guy who gets you, and you get him...Where you feel a bit of that magic.
Third: About sex; personally my best advice about desiring sex, at this age, is to: get back IN your body.
I made walking everyday with interval sprints, and weight training (not hard-core, but consistently) a priority. (If I aim for 7 days, I will usually get 5 in, which works.)
I lost 25 pounds after 4 or 5 months, and the sad feeling of disgust when I previously looked in the mirror. I can look in the mirror now, and I'm fine. Not 27 years old but fine! And I'm close to your age. What I did was, in my head I said: this is your second job!... And some days I actually put on the rain slicker, and got out there, and walked and sprinted, even if it was storming. I just made myself!...And in the process, I REmade myself. That is very empowering. Our bodies are amazing how they still will respond to whatever level of work we put in....
And when you can actually feel the muscles in your body when you stretch, or push through that last rep, or dance, when you can almost FEEL the blood flow, and the deep breaths flowing in and out... you feel alive; and that is what I mean by getting back in your body. It is very helpful for LOVING yourself, because you feel GOOD. Not perfect, but beautiful.
Fourth: Watch your words. My friends say it alot, but I won't say it: "I'm old".
Scientists talk about the mind/body connection and how the cells are very inter-connected. So: I don't want to convince my body, via my thoughts, that I'm on my way out. You Know?
Dying some day will happen, but staying HEALTHY is so key! I took care of 4 sick relatives who lingered a LONG time... they didn't exercise, they ate a lot of meat and processed food, they sat a lot, they gave up trying... and basically they didn't take care of themselves. No guarantees right, how long we will live, but while you are living try to stay feeling ALIVE in your skin.
Fifth: No hyperbole Holly, you are beautiful.
I was impressed! Your skin and tone in your face look really good. Your neck looks great too...what's your secret?
Re. spider veins: zap them. Sun spots: you can lighten them. Wrinkles: I use Frownies...Flat booty: all kinds of exercises on Instagram. E.D.: there is a pill. Hormones: there are creams and patches. Bad self-talk: MEDITATION and connecting with that Holy Spirit that passes through you, and gives you a different perspective re. unconditionally loving others as you love yourself.
A woman wants to feel desired. One thing that is quite prevalent in US that makes countless women feel undesired is pornography. If a man is in a relationship and his partner is aware of him using it, it sends a message to her that she is competing with a plethora of young hot bodies. It may mean nothing to the man, but the message the woman gets is that he wants/desires something better than what she can offer. For the sexless marriages, (a discussion I found here in the comments section) the best thing for the man to do is to ensure she knows she's wanted for more than just sex, you find her beautiful in other ways, and yes, you still desire her. It can't be a sit down discussion/argument. It needs to be shown over time, to warm her back up. If she still doesn't respond. Then have the discussion. Then, maybe it's time to contemplate the status of your relationship.
Do you understand what makes a woman desired most? That she shows enthusiastic desire for her mate, few men can resist that it’s so sexy 😊
I blame some men for thinking they’re better than they really are on pornography. There’s more to a man than his d 😂 I don’t think they’ve figured it out yet! The ones I’ve met think you should bow down and kiss their feet if they can still perform. Pay their bills and take care of them. Ummm noooo
I'm Gen X, so not 60 yet, but my relationship to sex and my own body has changed over time. When I was in my 20's I was underweight and basically looked like an 11 year-old boy. I was attractive, but only to a certain type of guy. Three pregnancies and many years later, I now feel more womanly, I know what I like, and I'm comfortable in my own skin...even if it's not as flawless as it used to be!
Hello campmom.😊
Almost 62 year old here! I live alone, I want to be alone and I need to be alone. There is nothing that a man can give me at this point in my life that I can't give myself. A manless life (in my opinion) is a peaceful life. No pressures, no obligations and no disappointments. ❤
Great subject to discuss. From a different perspective; I worked in aged care for many years and believe me, the majority of men think about sex until the day they die. I am not what you would call beautiful, just an average looking 69 year old and many times had to slap old men's hands away when caring for them.
Do they really? Probably most of them not with their partner. 😂
🤮
So do you want sex too
Thanks for sharing that and thank you for being a caregiver angel.
Reminding me of a story a caretaker in a nursing home told me. This one guy purposely peed in his bed every day, because he ''enjoyed'' getting washed by her. He was grinning from ear to ear, every time. 😂🤣 He gave it up quickly when they send in a male-nurse, to take care of him. 😆
OK, I'll answer your questions. I am 63. I started dating when I turned 60, after several years on my own. I thought, heck man, you had to wait till you turned 60?!! Would anyone even set their apps age bracket to even include me?
Well, they did, and still do.
I have learnt more about women, myself and relationships in those three years than I did in the previous 30. Yes, woman my age want to be "seen", feel safe and have "fun". A lot seem to be on HRT. If I were female I wouldn't hesitate taking it. Oh, and relationships can be different now. No kids to have, no home to build or need to share, perhaps. If you are retired you have time for yourself and your partner. It can be far better than when you were young, sex included!
My advice is get out there and live because next stop is your seventies (if we are lucky).
And ladies, a good man will love you as you are. He will let you know it, so all those body anxieties will be just a thing of the past. Just like our own anxieties, they are what's stopping you not the imagined person you think is going to notice them.
Mark
61 yr old single man here. I love dating women around my age, but quite a few younger women approach me and ask me out. They tell me they cant find men in their age groups that have the qualities and character of the older guys. I wont date younger women, especially those that want kids because it wouldnt be fair to them. I love women my age that have lived enough life that they dont take themselves too seriously. A smile and a laugh go a long way
Hwey
Me too sir even young attracted me i dont why..am singlemom of 1 daugther.almost 37 years no relationship&no sex.61 years old
I dated a lot in college and in my early 20's. I enjoyed more than a few relationships. I got together with my husband when I was 25 and we didn't have kids until we were in our mid 30's - we had lots of alone time and we enjoyed it. I can say that there was a definite difference in our before kids/after kids life together. Trying to fit in alone time together in between feedings and diaper changes...I felt like I always had someone clinging to my body and needing attention plus my familiar body had changed after pregnancy/childbirth as would be expected. That eased up once the kids were both sleeping through the night. Then came the teenage years.....where I would find myself waiting up for the kids to get home on Fri and Sat nights. Yes, our bodies change, our roles in life change. I love my husband as much as ever and we still have that spark - we still enjoy each other. But it isn't that same sort of driving hormonal force that pulled us together. Now, we are more bonded through our shared experiences, our children, our hopes for the future and just simply being enmeshed with each other over the course of 35 years. If I were to suddenly find myself alone, I do not see me ever reverting back to the flirty, cute, hormonal little chick that I was as a college kid any more than I lament over no longer launching my body down a Slip N Slide. As women, it's o.k. to want what we want.
Great perspective and love story
Thank you so much for your perspective on things...I feel the same way at age 62. Kinda surprised by the no-sex couples as men have needs too (yes, they do...sorry everybody...LOL). Also, after 35+ years married, it's a different type of love, less frequent physically but more (like you said) "bonded through our shared experiences, our children, our hopes for the future and just simply being enmeshed with each other over the course of 35 years"...yup! If I had a sex drive, it's definitely much lower now, that's for sure...LOL! And I find, as I get older, I am keeping my social circle tighter, don't tolerate being treated like crap by non-immediate relatives or strangers anymore, but value much more my immediate family and long-time close friends. And the way I'm treated now, I think my husband feels the same way. ;-) After all that I have been thru in this life, I feel I've earned my right to be where I am and have what I have, at this age. I know a lot of women who feel that way for themselves.
70 and married almost 50 years. we gradually stopped having sex a few years ago and replaced it with long embraces and gentle kisses throughout the day. we get along better than we ever have for reasons such as you mention and have never looked back.
I will be 62 in December and I've been a widower for 5 years. We used to be very sexually active and would still be if cancer hadn't changed our course.
We met online in 2001 and everything fell right into place. Flash forward to now, the whole dating scene seems to have degraded, the online approach apparently no longer
an option and I am at a loss for what to do. As a Sagittarius I am an extreme hopeless romantic. Mutual attraction is very important to me and I have found that at
my age, the women I seem to be attracted to are already taken, or regrettably so psychologically damaged from abusive relationships that they are unapparoachable.
I would like to say that you are very lovely and you should know that you are quite desirable, so please don't underestimate yourself.
May I suggest you get a pet?
@@MVMullins you have to be careful online dating. Lots of scammers out there. 62 isn’t old. Could any of your friends introduce you to someone? Do you go to church or belong to any groups or clubs? Don’t give up. You deserve to find a good attractive woman
@@lindaversil1121 Thank you, scammers are pretty much all I can find online these days, that and crazy.
I won't give up. I know she's out there, it's just a daunting task to try to find her.
@@Gonecrazy666😂😂😂😂😂😂
Hi! I'm 62 from Winnipeg Canada. I'm glad you do video's, thank you. I find your perspective very refreshing, enlightening, accurate and reassuring. I'm a happy new subscriber and am binge watching your videos. Just a bit about me, I've been divorced for 15 years, after being married for 26 years. I have been dating off and on since my divorce. Fallen in love once, and am in a new 4 month old loving relationship now. Thanks again, take care.
Emotional Connection, Tentativeness, Considerate, Respect Is A Big Part Of Loving In Affectionate Partners..💜
Ok, I am male, and I will be 65 on November 15, 2024. First of all, you are extremely attractive. You take care of yourself. A lot of men and women don't. Second of all, I disagree with you on one thing: as a male it is important that I feel desirable and desired. Even as a young man, if a woman was just there and not into me, it was a real turn-off. So, you are no doubt right that women need to feel desired, but the same is true for (at least some, probably most) men.
We are 60 and 56. At 60 I can finally do life without the same, frequent need. We make appointments for it now. Time we take to "let the fur fly"
Is just fun as heck. We always say wow! Why don't we do this every day? Then life happens until one of us says lets book a time. Lol
Helps that we are besties too!
I agree with you. Men want to be desired and we tend to equate intimacy and desire with sex. After a certain age, it's a lot less about a hormonal drive and a lot more about feeling needed and desired.
You are 100% correct. A man also needs to be appreciated and desired by his woman. Desire is a two way street and the lack of it explains the millions of sexless marriages and divorces after 25+ years of marriage in this country.
@@guyfaux5010 I'm a 58 year old woman who totally agrees with you.
@@elenaarman-tang7811can we be friends
Some straight-up honesty here. Im a woman, mid 40s, dated a 64 year old man because he was kind (wont do that again), I wasn't attracted to him, he was frail looking. I think working out and keeping fit is important as we age. Just being honnest . There are 60 year old men who are into fitness and have more muscle. I find such men more attractive. So work those muscles guys or they will shrink faster than they should !
Who CARES what society thinks?
I was considered extremely beautiful at 20 yet I had 0 self worth. Now in my 60's I love myself & I have a high sex drive. I look forward to remarrying & I'm confident my spouse will find me sexy.
I disagree with that. 63 yr old black piller here (widowed). It's looks & height - along with a good physique - that women want. I have a muscular, aesthetic physique from years of bodybuilding training. I work out 6 days a week & have 6-pack abs. However, I'm short (5-6) & average looking at best (I'm no Tom Cruise or George Clooney. Lol). I get no interest from attractive, fit women. On the dating apps, I've been rejected dozens of times by attractive, fit women in my age demographics. The only occasional "likes" I get are from unattractive, overweight/obese women many 10-15 yrs older than me. At the gym, I get more compliments from guys than I do women! 😬 Women these days overvalue themselves & have an unrealistically high SMV. They only want the hot "Chad" to sweep them off their feet in a fairlytale romance. Some actually specify this in their dating profile. Dating apps & social media have destroyed the dating market like never before.😕
You're right, I've been working out and getting spinal adjustments for 20+ years. If you take care of your body, you can get a lot more healthy years out of it.
@@nomad6086To women , only appearance matters. Muscles are only appreciated by men just like a dress of a woman is only appreciated by another woman.
Hi there, I just discovered your channel and was intrigued by your observations in this video and another one. Your observations resonated with this 67 year old man. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and emotions. Please don’t give up on finding love, happiness, and sex.
Things are definitely different and sometimes have their challenges. However at 63, don’t think I’ll ever grow weary of it. It is one of the most wonderful experiences life has to offer if you are in a loving relationship.
Even if seniors want intimacy, but arthritis, back pain, fatigue, etc would prevent it. They have the urge but have physical limitations due to aging body. Moreso, we age faster when we hit 60-70s. We’re just human and nobody yet has found the fountain of youth. Sure we can live longer up to 80-90s but it’s very different physically and mentally as we get much older.
...except Tom Cruise 😉
@@nomad6086😂
@@beth4698 exactly
@@nomad6086 He's def looking older!
@@jillsalkin7389 I don't know about that. A full set of good hair, lean, muscular physique (still does his own stunts in his films), Chad like facial features. If I looked half as good as Cruise in the face & hair dept, I might finally get some attention from the senior gals. 🤣🤣🤣
Well, I came to this video from another of the channel's videos. As I stated in the other comment section, I am 73 years old. I exercise, eat right (usually) and weigh about what I weighed at age 25. Having said all of that, sex to me has a fraction of the importance it did 50 years ago. For that reason, sex these days takes more work, more "priming" so to speak. There are a number of factors that work against us (the partner and me). I'm older and therefore not as physically attractive to both her and me. She's older and not as physically attractive to her and me. We're both older and so the libido is less for both her and me. Therefore, a relationship becomes more about companionship and less about good, old-fashion sex. But some things can go on unabated by age, things I would not do with a man no matter how good a friend he is. These would include back rubs, spur-of-the-moment romantic hugs, spontaneous kisses to cheek and neck area, brushing her hair, etc. However, it would take a bit of trial and error to learn when the moment is right for such things and are appreciated, and when such things are an annoyance.
You are so right about the intimacy in a relationship. Sex later in life is important, but, kisses, massages, etc. are just as important.
I'm a 74 year old man dating a 69 year old woman. Sex is very important to both of us. We're both in good health, good physical condition and have a blast in the bedroom and other rooms. Hope that never changes. BTW, you're gorgeous! Hope you find someone who values you.
So glad to hear, but men that age also have difficulties getting a firm erection. How do you do it, my partner had to take Viagra and it makes him sick? So sad..😔
Hard to imagine that I am almost 70! Been married for 44 years to a wonderful man who constantly tells me how beautiful I am, how I still excite him, etc. If I did not see a functional doctor who looks at and treats post menopausal hormones as something very important, there is zero doubt I would have any interest in sex. Our doctor is our primary doctor and treats both of us.
If something happened to me, i cannot imagine my husband remaining by himself.
If something happened to my husband, dating or looking for another husband would be the last interest on my list.
I don’t think men’s sexual thoughts lessen as they get older. They may have ED issues, but the thoughts remain the same. For the vast amount of women, it is my belief we are just not that interested, for whatever reason.
Enjoy your videos and hope you run across Mr Wonderful when you least expect it.
A Florida gal.
Im 58 and loving it! SEX is more fulfilling on every level. Real Men are patient.They enjoy spending time with a lady who is intelligent fun charismatic nurturing and it seems they don't really miss the the drama of emotionally immature partners
It may come as a shock: but young or old, men NEVER liked the drama of emotionally immature partners. It's something guys complain about all the time, and why so many of them are walking away from dating altogether. Most guys just cannot fathom having to deal with all of life's challenges and the added hoops they have to jump through to deal with those issues. But then again, maybe there are some guys out there who enjoy having that kind of chaos in their life, but I have never met them.
fantastic! yes Im in my mid 50's and it really depends on the guy, I think once you've met the right type of guy (not the perfect guy) but one who you can compromise with and who is understanding..and they DO exist..hang on in there..Ive never seen so many guys in their 50s/60s or 70s who are really handsome and cool.
At 58? Take what you can
In the past men would go out of the camp to hunt and protect and work with purpose. When they returned the woman in the camp already in anticipation had things all taken care of They would champion and celebrate their partners returns! There would be a big feast and sensuous love making ! Men want to be appreciated the same today and they should be.
IMHO the more committed the relationship the more sexual satisfied a person will be. Ultimate commitment is marriage where the union is anticipated to be for the long term - forever- until death takes one of the couple. Implied is the desire/agreement/acceptance that as the life partners change over time they agree to incorporate those changes into the relationship. Yep, that’s hard work. Yep, that’s not our current modern way of thinking. Yep, that still is the best outcome for most of us. 😊
The issue, I think, is intamacy. People lack the art of developing intimacy, probably because you need to care about the relationship first before you can develop intamacy
YES!!!!! You nailed it.
I’m in my 50s and single. I think for me sex would wake up if i met the right person, but it’s not at all something that i think about otherwise.
Hi from Ohio i'm single 42 year old
I'm dating a 65 year old woman. I'm 58. She has a much higher libido than I do. I make sure to make her feel desirable. I think women need that.
Wow what a Chad
@@DimitriTheBarbarian lol... I never thought of that.
@@rossnielsen6820 no I was sarcastic
@@DimitriTheBarbarian China, this this not cool.🤣
Tear it up bra!!!!!!
Single man here, 63. For me, a kind, friendly disposition is most important to me. If there's a physical attraction, well that's a nice bonus. What I hope for most in a first-meet/date situation is a sense of simply liking each other and enjoying each other's company. If there's laughter that's always an excellent sign and very important ultimately too. I still want sex but I'm self conscious about my attractiveness (or possible lack-there-of) too and it's a big part of what might allow a lot of time to pass between not only dates, but relationships. What I miss mostly is the sense of having a partner in life. I miss the mundane things like just going to the grocery store together, or taking long rides and talking. In the long run, those are the things in life beyond sex which are most important to me. Having said that, I find the poster of this video to be particularly attractive in all ways, especially since she seems so smart. I love smart woman; they're always interesting, and more intellectually engaging. Anyway, that's my two cents.
oh geez ! it's all an inside job ... ✨if you love yourself✨.... it shines thru .... at this phase if there's no soulful connection , the relationship will be shallow & good physical sex will not be a part , it starts with emotional intimacy ♥~peace~
Im 61 this woman is making me feel warm and fuzzy where are the ones like her?
My late husband was 58 and me 57 when he got sick. I had been missing our sex life for 6 years and then he died. I looked online about a year after his death. Wow. Most guys are really old looking at 70. I am 66 now. I am not up to dolling all up. I would love to know what these men mean by open to adventurous sex. Are we going on a safari? It's foremost on their minds. I loved sex, but because we had a connection. We had common ideas and goals. Lovemaking was the natural progression in a loving caring relationship. At this point, thinking of some strange man touching me, not him, not the one I loved. I don't want to go there. I will travel the rest of my days solo. I have back issues anyway. So its all good.❤
Hi Nikki I think you are really attractive I see that you are a bbw and I love sex as much as you do
Adventurous safari 😂 love that! Like hello, we can throw our legs over our head anymore, not with back problems!
Omg I just found your channel and I am binge watching! How did we get in our 60’s so fast? I ‘m 61 and don’t know how it happened so fast😢love your videos, you are spot on and beautiful! You do not look like you are in your 60’s. You are beautiful like Jane S was and still is! I thought you were maybe 40🇨🇦
I once saw a quote,"Love Delights in aged flesh" I found it beautiful personally.
You know men want to feel desired, too.
Women are constantly comparing themselves about physical features. Men don't care! We just love women for who where and what they are. Men don't overthink or overly care. Men just want to give love and be loved and men remain constant in this mindset from their 20's - 100's.
It's one of the things so many women keep tripping up---men wanting to feel desired. When I was in my teens it was CRIPPLING that way. I didn't have any real relationships until college. Thankfully, after being in quite a few relationships, I have experienced it. Tons of men really don't, or women love bomb them in the beginning and it changes in the long term.
Uh uh uh, my boyfriend of 2+ years says he doesn't like my stomach (it's not flat) I am 61, considered attractive, teach fitness and look 10 years younger then I am. He on the other hand has man boobs, sagging skin and looks 10 years older then his age which is 65. We almost broke up over this but he knows now how hurt I felt and is really trying hard not to say anything BUT now I am so insecure about how he made me feel I always cover myself in the bedroom.
Wow you nailed it.... being desired is an important big part for women!!!! Preach it sister !!!
Totally agree with you…I am a widow…only 4 years, I would love a companion ,….hate living
Alone….still ..at 78 fit..interested in a loving relationship..,,..I am all for intimacy ..desire is more important than age. …be open…do not limit yourself..and do not overlook a younger man…it may be your only choice,
I've been widowed 11 years. I love it. I've been asked out, but I'm just not jnterested. I don't want to be a housekeeper for someone else
I am a late 50s guy, ... I find the women in their 60s, 70 and 80s desirable... I am dating a 76-year-old overweight lady, I make her my centered focus, she gets foot and back rubs. She loves to talk all the time, and I enjoy listening... I provide her with oral pleasure because she has issues with intercourse.
@@hilarygibson3150 I am a 59-year-old man, I adore women that seem to be much older. You don't gotta clean my house (I vacuum, clean the bathroom and wash dishes at my home) I might also do the same if I were to visit your home. certainly, I would help you do any guy things that you would need. I only look at the bedroom as some place to sleep unless we can we decide if there are other things to do besides sleep in the bed
I'm a man, just turned 74 years old and married 42 years. Sex is not as important to us as it was when we were young. Yes, we love each other very much and enjoy each others company. The last few years we have been Living Apart Together and that has really rekindled our relationship. Romance is now more important to us than having sex.
What is living apart together?
@Pureimagination200 . Living Apart Together is being in a committed relationship but not living together. My wife and I both have our own homes about 10 miles apart from each other and maybe 2-3 times a week visit each other. We're still married but also we have our independence. It's really the best of both worlds.
@@Pureimagination200 Where a couple in a committed relationship, lives apart in separate homes. It's the best of both worlds. Commitment and independence.
70 and married almost 50 years. we gradually stopped having sex a few years ago and replaced it with long embraces and gentle kisses throughout the day. we get along better than we ever have and have never looked back.
I recently watched Somewhere In Time again on Amazon Prime. It's one of my top 3 movies. The length's that Christopher Reeves went to try to reconnect with Jane Seymour were truly heroic. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and The Holiday are also in the top. I think it's telling me I like impossible stories of fulfilling love. I also have watched more Hallmark movies then I should admit to. But that's me, It's what I like. I have not dated since becoming a widower so I can't really give you any insights on sex in my sixties. Plumbing doesn't work as well as it used to but the last time I used it, it was a lot of fun. I haven't been alone very long (couple of months) and I have mixed emotions about remaining alone. I think you may have a point about men needing to be in a relationship. I've joined a site called Stiches and am already making some friendships and finding some activities to get involved with. I've joined your channel because I find you to be an articulate and beautiful woman with a pleasant voice. Please keep these video's coming. Thanks.
Hi. Nice video, I love how you laugh at yourself, (6mins in).
I’ve been single for quite a few years now. What puts me off dating is most women seem to be very controlling, I like people who are fun and easygoing and don’t take life too seriously.
As for the institution, when you kept laughing the only institution I could think of had padded walls.
Personally, I don’t miss sex exactly, but I do miss kissing and having someone to cuddle up to at night.. h
Take care, thanks for the laughter.
I LOVE the movie "Somewhere In a Time"! The chemistry between Seymore and Reeves was like lightening in a bottle! The music is hauntingly beautiful and inspired both the joy and longing of finding one's soulmate. I grew up in Michigan and have spent a number of summers on Mackinac Island. My college roommate was the night manager at the Grand Hotel while "Somewhere" was being filmed and shared many stories of the cast and crew. Good stuff!
I love love love this film and the music as you say is hauntingly beautiful . I was introduced to it by a very special man who I was with for 12 years he was a very interesting and intriguing person but for reasons I’ll keep to myself I walked away from that relationship but I’m sure I’ll never feel this way again
Don't ever give up hope for finding true love. @@AnnieG785
That's so cool!!!
Looks aside, working out to keep muscle tone and strength is an important aspect to stop Sarcopenia, muscle wastage through ageing. Sarcopenia is a huge factor in contributing to accidents, pain, injuries, immobility that affects your overall quality of life. Exercise for your own health and mental wellbeing. Pilates and yoga are my best favourites, and I dance/jog on a rebounder, good for supporting joints 🎉
The most romantic statement I heard recently is" real love is waking up next to someone you have been with for many years, having no serial desire for them any more but would never even think about leaving them"... having a best friend you move through life with goes beyond the physical.
that's exactly where my husband and i are at today and i would have to agree. 70 and married almost 50 years. we gradually stopped having sex a few years ago and replaced it with long embraces and gentle kisses throughout the day. we get along better than we ever have and have never looked back.
Forget talking about sex, let's have it.
At 68 I am in love with my wife. The desire for sex stems from that...its only natural to want to be close to the one you love.
Sure, we both keep fit. She is my best friend, travel partner and at 61 I think she looks great and when I paint, I paint portraits of her.
If not for her, I likely would stay single, move to Thailand or the Phillapines and just try and enjoy a simple life.
Now that's romantic!
Had to give up sex when I hit 65. The damn pulleys and cables were throwing out my hips.
🤣😂🤣
Are you serious? 65 is young. What happened?
😂😂
A humorous man is a sexy man! 😂
We did not come in this world to amuse ourselves with sex
It’s the easiest and most common method of releasing your dopamine besides your smartphone
We came in this world to work on ourselves to become better human beings
Real happiness is when you work on yourself and people around you start seeing the difference
@@rajivmalik2070 intimacy and sex is just as important as other health aspects like mental and emotional health.
I believe if you develop a meaningful relationship, that relationship and the sex that goes along with it stimulates serotonin rather than dopamine. Serotonin is associated with long-lasting happiness. Dopamine, on the other hand, is a cheap quick hit.
Now you're ringing my bell. I could not have summed it up better!
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@@chorebunny8080intimacy is possible without intercourse. Males and females pre puberty are generally asexual and there’s over 20 meds that might lower libido if high libido is lowering quality of life by being annoying
I’m 59yo, I still consider myself to be a good looking woman, but regardless of age there absolutely has to be chemistry and I don’t think some men get that, which to me means we’re not even on the same page.
I wouldn't worry too much about it. You seem to have figured out much of the issues. The only quibble I have with your assessment is that of men living alone. As a 67 yo living alone for a few years now, I can honestly say that my life has more peaceful days/nights than I ever had when I was married. The bonus of being older as a man is that I really don't care about sex. It's very liberating. Since my daughters are grown and moved away, it's really just about me now. Not that I need my life to revolve around myself, but I don't have the drama that most women feel is necessary to continually introduce into day to day life that was stressing me.
I think you are a quality woman and I hope you are able to find someone that meets your expectations. Best of luck!
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Spot on !
Like it or not sex will keep you young. At 80 do see girls and ladies in their 20’s and 30’s who have not taken care of their apperance and I would not want to date them
73 year old man here. Sex? My sex drive has never diminished. No medications, much cleaner diet, currently taking a break from long term exercise. And......I don't need to get laid to feel lovable.
I was just telling a female friend that as a 51 year old with way too much experience in the sex department, in my experience, sex ruins literally everything with a relationship. If I was ever to be in a somethingship again, I could very easily see it being sexless. Hard to say that as someone with as healthy of a sex drive as I have, but the chaos it causes, just isn't worth the squeeze.
interesting! good to know. I aways thought the good sex with a good partner strengthens the bond and relationship.
Interesting you say that. My ex-husband used to say; sex complicates a relationship.
I've always said it too. I actually met my ex online nearly 6 years ago. We are still in contact. He's a great bloke but sex mad. We'd still be together if it wasn't for that. The thing is, he's over 60 and can't actually manage it that often but is obsessed with trying! It's so tiresome.
@@Mimlou It only strengthens the toxic parts of us such as attachment, and dependency.
@@MargaretGSmith-c1q Smart fella.
I'm really glad someone is talking about this. I'm 64, divorced (thank goodness) for 3 years. I haven't dated anyone yet--and I'd like to because, well, I ain't dead yet!
Hey Cara
Somewhere in time is definitely one of the most thought provoking movies of all time People should definitely aspire to be that way..❤
I'm 69. I was in for a big surprise when I decided I wanted to start dating again. I wasn't really sure what I was looking for or what I'd find. I've been taking care of myself, so I felt attractive enough. One of the first guys I met, I found myself physically very attracted to. He was a few years older than me. I previously, in my life, had generally always gone out with younger guys. Anyway, what a surprise! I found myself feeling like a teenager again. I mean the butterflies in the stomach, the whole bit. I was mentally and physically attracted to him. I honestly didn't think that was possible any more... but it really did happen. Unfortunately, there were some large differences between us and it didn't even get to the having sex part... but Wow... I sure was floored by the way I reacted! I'll never again assume I'm too old to re-ignite that passion.
You are never too old.
I'm a single guy in my mid 60's. It's all about effort. Health, love, and sex can be just as good as when you were younger if you make the effort. It's effort that wanes with age for most people. Effort means keeping the weight off, working out at least 3x a week (with weights and not popsicle sticks), eating healthy, having tons of interests, making a surprise weekend getaway to the beach or mountains with your partner, and when you come out of the bedroom with them, make the room look like a burglary just took place and your neighbors know their name.
Just reading this make me exhausted 😂...
@@kilamilka97 Haha, that may be true, but I will not go quietly to the grave. Father Time will have to tap me on the shoulder and say, "Hey, what are you doing?!".
@@Charles-l6h4b love that you have this much enthusiasm about life. I'm especially curious about how you manage the aches and pains...they are sadly a thing. I work in agriculture and every day I wake up extra early just to prepare for the day!
@@kilamilka97 I don't have aches and pains. I should because I am in the middle of remodeling my house, myself, from top to bottom. I'm replacing garage doors and gutters, painting rooms, gutting bathrooms, and putting up crown molding. I live on an acre that I mow, chainsaw limbs from my 32 trees, and burn yard waste. Climb on my roof and blow off the leaves. I don't know if it's because I am a vegetarian or because I've lifted weights for 30 years. No meds, no medical issues. I wouldn't call it "enthusiasm", I just haven't hit the age yet where I feel old. Maybe it is genes, but my brother has had tons of issues and he is also the complete opposite of me: no lifelong DIY'er, normal eating, no exercise.
I totally agree with you 💯😊👍
As you age, sleep becomes more inviting than sex!
A relationship is whatever you make it! You decide what you want the relationship to be and communicate that to your partner. I am a celibate Christian and I don't have sex, but I still like the company of a woman. It is your choice!!!
Hey there Holly - I think that it was Jackie Kennedy Onassis who opined that a woman's first marriage was for love, her second marriage was for financial security and her third and final marriage was for companionship 🙂
Hello Tom, How are you doing today?
I love your channel. You exude positive energy, very authentic, funny, and super attractive😉
Maybe you’re a selfish lover?
Where is the info about pain during sex experienced by postmenopausal women??
And what can be done about it?
Lost opportunity here
@Zepster77. Low dose hormone replacement therapy, coconut oil for lubrication, alternative methods, vibrators. Low salt diet, Mediterranean diet with olive oil, almost no saturated fat. No sugar, very little to no fruit. High saturated fat sugar, high salt dehydrated skin and damages liver and kidneys which affect the skin internally and externally. Exercise. Walking helps the pelvic floor muscles and strengthens back and abdominal muscle. Do stretches, gradually and carefully do Asian squats to loosen tendons in hips to avoid hip replacement. This not just for sex but to live healthy and better
There is a plethora of info about postmenopausal pain during sex. Vaginal tissue thinning, and atrophy, lack of estrogen lowers libido and lubrication. The oasis has dried up. There are treatments. Helps for some people, not all.
I got estrogen cream for sex, but never found any guy i was attracted to, so now I use it on my face..Best anti aging treatment out there!
I just watched your videos for the first time tonight.
I'm 61. 100% agree with you re you NEED to feel desirable first before you can enjoy sex. Don't settle for less than that.
Sex after 50 is all about the lighting. Before I lost my wife, we were porn stars in the dark. Ladies like you give us older fellas some hope. I cannot believe the things men say and do. We must say the stupidest shit out of insecurity. Not to be an X man..but I had a bad one this last one. Best and worst kinda thing. My healing has led me to energy clearings and trauma release. I dealt with childhood trauma I didn't even know existed. I'm becoming sovereign. Talk about lonely! Thankfully my season is almost over..at least it feels like it. I'm ready to live again ..and have sex in the perfect dim light. Much Love.
Life isn’t a movie,
Some women need to get there heads out of the clouds.
So true! A large part of her confusion stems from an unrealistic Hollywood-driven mentality… and an inability/unwillingness to pivot
So do some men
I'll bet you don't have a lot of sex. And it's "their", not there.
@@smallhouseinthemeadow6131some people aren't sex driven. 😂
@@stevenwaller3020 yes. And they are called "women".
Grateful for you sharing your thoughts. As a single guy in my mid-50sI am paying keen attention.
You are a thoughtful, smart -- beautiful - woman.
Exactly the the sort of woman I am hoping to meet!
Came across this video. Thought you might have more to say based upon your experience and observations. I am over 70, have a long distance relationship with a wmn of similar age. We manage to meet at least monthly. Both of us are in reasonably fit and healthy condition. Our sxx/intimate life is very enjoyable.
I remember among my female coworkers, some complained about their husband's desire for them. And many of them were not just overweight, but obese.
The human need for close physical intimate contact is well documented. If couples stop intimate contact, the close psychological connection withers. The casual affection and playfulness fades. They become roommates and maybe friends.
Studies in orphanages have shown that newborns need close physical contact. Without it, they fail to thrive. Don't remember, but believe that some isolated/ignored newborns die. This need for physical contact is built into us as animals. You can see similar needs among other, especially mammalian species.
Saw that fantasy film yrs ago. Just like wmn enjoy romance novels, wmn are in love with love; the idea, the fantasy, of love. The other person is secondary. Think that men love more authentically. They use their minds and make a decision, a commitment to the other person. Not just enjoying a shallow, and often transitory feeling. It's the feeling that hooks wmn; not the full reality of another person.
Appreciate the topic. Hope you might have some more thoughts. Thanks. 🤔🤔🤔
I’m 67, been widowed for 10 years, and would love a relationship!
I take care of myself & am very fit, but difficult to find a man this age who also takes care of himself.
I’m not giving up…🙂
I don’t have an interest in online dating, and think I will meet someone organically, so to speak.
As far as sex, I think that a lot of women who prefer not to have it, either are able to please themselves better than husband can…or do not know how to bring themselves to orgasm and therefore find no pleasure in the act (either alone or with partner)
Communication is the key…it it so lovely to share sex and does supercharge the relationship.
Thanks for the posts…I am new subscriber.