MARRIAGE OVER! JOI DOESN'T DESERVE PROTECTION! WHY HUSBANDS DON'T DEFEND THEIR WIVES
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
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Is there any area in our lives in our marriage that I’ve shown you that I might not need your protection? That’s another angle to go at it as well.
listen this response is A1 wow. Nawh im sorry this is brilliant wow. I read it and said mmmm even me im ready to protect whoever says this
This is a good communication prompt. In this situation though, I truly wonder how much Joi trusts Clifton. Women that act like they have a lot to prove in their relationships are often not at peace WITHIN said relationship. Joi has not forgotten how she got Clifton, and she's not as blind to his behavior as she tries to act. It seems she just believed the more she proved her loyalty the more he would be inspired to protect her.
Clifton seems like a weak leader which equates to a woman as not standing on business. Which can make her disregard his directives bc she feels nothing will get done based on how he moves. Which is my suspicion of why she responded the way she did to his question.
Quick small example, say a man orders a hamburger the waiter brings him chicken. Hr dosent like chicken but Instead of asserting he ordered a hamburger he just eats the chicken. The wife speaks up (kindly) to the waiter but he tells her not to, just let it go.
Moving forward over time as she observes him not speak up when he should she may be conditioned to not listen.
That's what Clifton said to her because he said she always say stuff to him when he in the pass tried to step in. So he takes a back seat now
I think Joi came into the relationship with so much masculine energy, being raised by her dad, that he probably felt like she didn't need as protection. I always wanted Joi to be softer.
@@lastnamefirst9423You said it so so WELL!
They both should’ve had this conversation at home way before the reunion
Yes, this way they would have presented a united front.
I agree ☝️
If she would not have made that statement it would’ve not been brought up. Sometimes women we can’t give the enemy bullets and be surprised when we get shot.
I'm sure they already discussed it. He is just being bull headed.
@@BJsway facts
They should not have done the show. The relationship was still new and it's showing everyone their problems.
They did the show for money and a free wedding.
Exactly what I said!!! Not enough time invested. They should have known that since they both have been on reality tv prior to this show. I pray they work things out though. But he definitely needs to work on protecting his wife, especially being that big…lol
Facts they were boring anyway
Great point!
Newlyweds need 2-3 yrs to gel oneness! Clifton & Carmen sort reality TV.Joi wanted her & Clifton to be one & ride off into the sunset 🌇! Carmen didn't care how Joi felt.. Clifton is her friend( as of she saying "Clifton is my man" Joi is his wife!
Why is everyone so surprised at Clifton's behavior. He did the exact same thing w/Joi and Dakiya at the RTL reunion. Joi buys anything he says. He could've cleared up any confusion on RTL, but sat there like a bump on a log...same on this show. I don't feel sorry for Joi because of how she treated Dakiya. Karma!!
Oh boy!!!!
That’s how I felt going into the season but it’s hard to watch people bully someone. They ganged up to bully her.
@@sattasana7753right, I loved her and Dakiya and hated that Clifton didn’t clear up the fact that he led Dakiya on till the end! I was mad at Joy too but I still like her and felt bad for her on this show! Ashley betrayed her trust and then didn’t give her space to reflect on the situation! Meaning I can do what I want to you get over it if you want to be in my circle! She didn’t like that Joy contemplated whether being in her circle was worth it! With Carmen she was bamboozled because she thought Carmen was a genuine person! Carmen was a snake from day one because remember she was not Clifton’s no.2 Dakiya was she latched on to Clifton because all of her suitors were sent home and he was sexually attracted to her and she enjoyed being the devil’s advocate to him! Like now, she doesn’t really want him she just like the idea that she can seduce and charm him she is for the streets and he has one foot in and out of the streets! Notice when he was asked by Carlos if he was attracted to Carmen he did not say NO. He said(how can’t I be)Carmen’s an attractive woman! Sir, being attracted and noticing attraction are two different things he knows that but he couldn’t be honest bc he’ll have to retract that they’re just friends! He had to continue playing the role of bestie and not potential suitor because he wants his Joy and to eat from Carmen too! Ashley is not right about him being and antagonist but he is a manipulator! I feel for Joy or any woman treated like this by that cast and her husband! I’m sure after watching this show Dakiya forgives her too and thanks her for biting the bullet she almost received. Mo
Facts he’s her Karma
@@thesisterhoodspot nailed it. I agree
I can't believe how clueless Clifton was. He even seemed reluctant to tell Carmen she was wrong. It seems he has more consideration for her, than Joi.
Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He’s not clueless….he was being disingenuous in this moment. Nothing more, nothing less.
Clifton is not a stoopid man….this is just another example of mansplaining in support of a disingenuous man.
Clifton knows, men know exactly what they’re doing. Some men like keeping their women in a state of insecurity as a means of control and to keep you where they want you
Clifton was well aware, he simply doesn’t care. This is a tall tale sign that he’s checked out and Joi is the one fighting for the marriage 😞
In this video I wasn’t discussing Carmen I discuss deep creek. Carmen is part 3 lol. 😂 we can discuss priorities later then
And here we have a full circle moment. When men praise a woman for a STRONG black woman, says hes want a ride or die, and seeks out the "pick me types" Hes actually going against his own interest long term bc what hes really asking for is a masculine woman that dosent require he create a safe, soft place for her. While he may enjoy not having to do that work. The other side of that coin is because he hasnt created that soft place for her she will seek to insulate herself by leading, not being vulnerable and fighting battles herself.
She will eventually resent the man for not leading and protecting her as she becomes more and more exhausted of being burdened with not just fighting for herself but him too. This leads to disrespect and lack of romantic interest.
I agree both will eventually suffer in long term. Good points.
Well put.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Absolutely
Agreed
The fact that even in this moment he had more words for Joi feeling unprotected than he had for Carmen disrespecting his wife is wild to me
He focused on who is important, Joi is it❣️
I can see why Clifton is on his third marriage 😮
Part 3 we will discuss that
He fumbled the ball on this one. Clifton was stone wrong. Maybe he feels too much for Carman. Should have learned from Simon and Cecil. Cecil had to put the other woman out of the picture period. Ain't even friends no mo.
You typed exactly what I was going to share! The fact that Clifton could not asknowledge that Carman disrespected his wife and went so far as to say that in time they will both move past "it" was very telling.
The reason why Clifford didn’t cover his WIFE is because he’s screwing with Carmen subliminally mentally verbally and is reserving the possibility of being with Carmen physically at one point or another-
Karma is something else. Clifton did the same thing to Nakia on the reunion of ready to love. Joy sat across that woman and popped off instead of Clifton saying something he just let it go on just got taste of her own medicine.
That part ☝️
That part ☝️
That doesn't mean she deserved this. People make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes when we in love with a person we see nothing else. So many people have smoke for Joi like they haven't defended a man against a woman in their lifetime. People do stupid things for love and to be chosen.
The fact Joi did everything to make it to the end and get Clifton, and all this airing is real karma. As a previous cast mate, it's hard to have sympathy for her. This is what happens when you're pressed to get the man. 🤷🏽♀️ None of those men were a good choice.
@@tinabeauteExactly, these pickmeisha’s thinking they won cause they got a ring. What did she win?
Clifton needs to rethink his behavior and get help, before he loses his wife. If Carmen was really his friend, she would step back.
They are separated already Rumor is Joi lives with the Tyler’s in their basement apt lol
They like each other, they're using the title friendship, but they are wayyyy deeper than people think. Discernment is real, people take advantage of it❤
@@DianeLong-ky8hp they were recently on IG together. I hope things work out for them and their marriage
@@vthe_listener886I feel the same way, if Clifton and Joi don't work out, he'll be with Carmen.
But he had the nerve to tell Silva to pay attention to his marriage. Which I don't care for the Petty's or the Silva's...
Yes. My partner of 47 years, now divorced never protected me.
It’s a shame
Glad you are out
Clifford does NOT know how to protect women 🙄. He’s never been faithful, and had 2 babies in diapers by 2 different women when him and Joi got together. Clifford is for Clifford. Carmen is an asset to him Joi is not. 🙄 He is not about to mess up what he has going on for a lounge singer. He’s been married before. Joi ain’t special. Why she broke her neck to be with him is beyond me.
Preach!!!!!!!! Very well stated. I bet Joi regrets telling Ashley that she likes her but that she loves Clifton and Carmen. I said to myself you are in for a rude awakening.
Did everyone forget Clifton was married twice before this ….
What? I know you lying? This is his 3rd marriage?
You dropped some heavy tea, I definitely didn’t know.
I also don’t watch that show they were on
I didn’t like Clifton passive/aggressive ways on the show
I didn’t like when him and Ashley were arguing he bent down in
her face. B*tch move for a man, I know Ashley can be a headache.
I know you lying…
Whoa! 👀
What?!
Ohhh
The way you broke down Clifton and Joi’s relationship was spot on. Well done!
Excellent review!
We just wanna see relationships flourish. Even Joi and Clifton I want to see h them workout
I love the direction you’re going and you’re right about Joi not resting in her feminine energy, but I’m also going to add this. They’re young in their marriage when you’re used to being by yourself majority of the time and you find this amazing person you partnered with your purpose partner You got to give Grace in that area that she doesn’t know how to sit back in her feminine energy ( not her husband fault at ALL). I’m gonna give them time to grow and I hope this situation doesn’t break them because you’re going to go through things in life in your marriage in your relationship Until you are completely in sync with one another. Right now and they’re not in sync in that particular situation. Joi does need to step in to her feminine energy MORE❤
absolutely u aint lie. Hence why there is no blame just how can we do better
@@LittleBlackBook91 Absolutely
But why does Joi have to give Clifton fire signs to protect her? That should come natural to me. So what she can stand up for herself you should still stand by your lady.
Because we all send signals. When u enter a relationship your manner, attitude, values and behaviours are observed. If you observe ur husband doesn’t need ur help with something, will u now be pushing yourself to help him? No because he’s taught u he don’t need you. Clifton asked her a vital question…if I told u to stop will u stop. Her response was telling. We have to respect boundaries someone sets n going beyond them gets ppl hurt or disappointed
I couldn’t understand why he asked her a hypothetical question.
@@LittleBlackBook91 Did you take into consideration they are newly married? I'm certain they're still figuring each other out. However, I do agree with what @cazdiamond said some things such as a husband protecting his wife should come naturally. Especially in a situation like the one at the cabin. Like be for real!
She also didn’t naturally protect him from another woman being intentionally disrespectful to him on several occasions. Some ppl want exactly what they incapable of giving others.
Clifton should've shown a united front on that stage with his wife. He could've acted "fake clueless" backstage. For some "reason" he didn't wanna to piss off Carmen!!!
Right, you saw that too!! Carmen was giving him that look like I will out you!! Mo
He’s a player, and he’s used to playing both sides with women. He already has Joi wrapped around his finger. He’s gotta make sure Carmen don’t go nowhere.
That part!!!! This is the comment of the century! We should always provide a united front especially in the face of haters! Mo
Yep… instead he says, “well since we being honest “.. wow, now you coming for your wife…he’s only about protecting himself, very self centered and as Ashley said, “mean girl “
Because he like Carmen more than a friend.
Stop giving men justification for dropping the ball. He should hv apologized & made note for not missing his tag in the next time.
but did he drop the ball though? that was the point of the video lol. Where did he drop it?
@@LittleBlackBook91 by not taking any accountability for how he has mad her feel regardless, by not addressing Carmen.
But that’s not what I was addressing nor Clifton. Specifically this is deep creek and that’s what Joi said specifically was unprotected.
He dropped the ball by not following her when she walked out….even if he didn’t step in to stop the group moment he didn’t even go behind to check her no excuse for that
@@LittleBlackBook91 The point is when a man asks a woman to be his wife, all that understanding, life experience, bro's over h..'s & self thinking 1st becomes a dynamic of 2 is now 1. Team becomes your ministry & in the case of another woman that's a NO BRAINER.....if a husband can't move on w/o that friend, biz partner or whomever it is causing STRIFE in his marriage he's not solid within himself.
A HUSBAND is supposed to be a PROTECTOR….PERIOD!!! As a WIFE of 28 years now, I EXPECT protection. I am strong just like Joi, I can defend myself too, but why should I HAVE to defend myself all the time? I shouldn’t have to COMMUNICATE to you that I NEED you to defend me when you’re right there WITNESSING me NEEDING your PROTECTION and DEFENSE. Why is it’s that women will step in and battle for their men WITHOUT him having to send a smoke signal, but when its OUR turn to BE PROTECTED we have to send smoke signals, do a rain dance, do cartwheels, and somersaults in order to be PROTECTED. This commentary seems so BIASED to me. As one commenter pointed out. Eve did blame Adam, but Adam also blamed Eve; did you forget that part? He even had the nerve to almost place the blame at God’s feet “It’s the woman YOU gave me”…..whew chile!
I agree and stated the same thing up above somewhere! She took bullets for him and Carmen all throughout the show and they both threw her under the bus. Him at Deep Creek and Carmen for wanting Joy to use her birthday to say what she had already said to them. They knew what they were doing they had already heard Joy say that they weren't a "throuple" they wanted to hear it from her crooked lips because they knew that Joy is blind. Girl, I probably will not watch their show anymore because I don't want to see Ashley, Quick or Winter, Carmen or Clifton ever again. I am good! Mo
Well let me answer this. KEY WORD you expect protection…so I will assume your behaviour and communication permits your husband to protect you and you show that YOU NEED IT.
THE POINT here is your behaviour previously and is often communication unsaid about how u want to handle things. Clifton let us know that IF i say stop would u stop..meaning he has sensed behaviour or seen that Joi goes into battle and doesn’t hear nothing else. And he took her continuing to battle with all of them instead of keeping quiet as signal u on that battle again.
Women jump in for men and some of yall get rebuked. Because u assumed we needed u and never called for you. That’s the difference. Relationships have patterns that establish behaviours.
If you need protection ur behaviours in such moments and before hand, the conversations beforehand show to the other person that u NEED protection.
Feel, felt, those words don’t matter. That’s your wife, don’t let people come at your wife no matter who’s the blame for the situation. If people coming for my husband we’re leaving.
It actually does matter. Relationships are to be maintained. There are rules we must adhere to
"I don't feel needed" or "youre always strong so it doesnt seem like you needed protection" is a weak cop out to "I didn't care enough to step in and protect you" pillow talk and deep connection with your spouse or simple common sense should allow you to see that your spouse is cornered and come to their defense in whatever way is best. Even when a child expresses independence for ex: learning to ride a bike, although the parent may be confident in the child's ability to handle it themselves, they stay close, just in case they lean over to fall whether the child screams for help or not, and more so, the reason the child is confident enough to do it is bc they TRUST the parent is there to help them if they fall" if i dont TRUST I can be vulnerable in your presence , then I won't be
We can call it weak all we like but the reality this is behaviour and behaviour is learned and taught. The evidence was presented. A child is not an adult. When someone expressed boundaries are stated you cannot over run them because u want to. U closing me out is your Devine right and my actions must not violate that. I can only request that
I just said this whether I can do it should not prevent you from coming to my aid ESPECIALLY when I am surrounded by my enemies! That is more than common sense that is I Wish a N' would!! My heart ached for her this entire season and my stomach ached with the cattieness from Ashely she really needs to reflect on her actions because she could be a beautiful person if she wasn't so evil. Mo
Well said ✔️
@@thesisterhoodspot this is why I analysed what is said. When a man asks a woman if I tell you to stop would you have stopped..trust and believe he has seen that u don’t know how to stop. The only way he could stop her is to forcefully remove her or remove himself. Yall would’ve been mad he touched her. Reality is we communicate and teach ppl how we want to be treated.
I don't even watch the show and honestly didn't even watch the full video bc Joy ain't it especially after she tried to play with Dakiya. We rides for Ms. Dakiya round these parts of the DMV(Iykyk.she does her thing) so no sympathy there. I just appreciate the interaction and conversation. Hey Kojo. Much love 🫶🏿🤭
Joi was not protected. You can’t Rest in your feminine when you take on the load alone. Deep creek was one situation but that Carmen situation was the final straw. She was totally blindsided and Carmen had pretended to be her friend in order to stay alone to clifton. Joi was coming at men because she was protecting him she felt ok it’s us against the world… but truthfully clifton left her out there in the cold like he did that to Rakia. I think it’s funny when women have to rest in their feminine but men are never told to rest in their masculine, clifton was resting in his feminine that’s why Joi was always in her mad but no one ever tells a man to rest in their masculinity. It’s so gas lighting!
It’s not gaslighting because ur adding to the convo. We are solving specifically why at Deep creek she felt u protected. That was Joi’s words. She specifically stated deep creek and so did I when I spoke about actions. Adding to what she said is where couples will miss each other
🙏🏽...such a beautiful unpacking, Kojo. Marriage is a journey and oftentimes people speak on it, unwisely, not having experienced it. Thank you for your balance and gentleness in addressing this specific moment. Blessings 💞
So much love for this. This comment is confirmation we bringing restoration not destruuction
I kept telling yall Clifton is sneaky... Dont be fooled by how quiet he is. If a man doesnt protect you hes weak ! Joi was his second choice. He was sexually attracted Carmen... but Joi had a more bubbly carefree personality.
Joi is receiving her karma for how she treated Dakyhia on Ready To Love, in regards to Clifton. God Doesn't Like Ugly And Sis Was Ugly Towards Dakyhia. Joi was NASTY.. Humiliated on national TV, like Dakyhia was. Unlike Joi, Dakyhia is happily married today. Ladies Pay Attention. 😉
Facts!
Preach! FACTS!!
I hated this for Joi…..Clifton shocked me.
I just ASSumed that he was a different kind of man.
He gave man’s man on RTL…..but gave Pookie during this reunion 🥹.
On the flip side…..no surprise reference Carmen. She’s always lived out loud as her truthful self imo.
Are they divorcing for real?
@@cxm1211if she’s smart she will….and that’s just my honest opinion.
If this Wife has to give her Husband expressed permission to protect her, then she’s better off moving on while she’s still able to appeal to other men.
…..and I’m happily married for the last 12 years. I host Couples and Singles Dinners at my home, I do this…..and that interaction is a big ol red flag.
@@cxm1211no. That was filmed many months ago and they are still together
This is good, Kojo. A different perspective to consider
He’s given Carmen hope. He’s attracted to Carmen’s value to him, I personally don’t think he is physically attracted to her. That is why he chose Joi, she fit in to the position based on her looks.
He is attracted to her that is why she was number two but aesthetically Joi probably fits more of that bill. But he is sexually attracted to to Carmen and love the attention she gives him plus the business aspect. He knows what he is doing he allows for Carmen to hold out hope just in case it doesn’t work out… Carmen is a sneak contact wearing snake.
You obviously didn't watch RTL or Love & Marriage DC, because Clifton said on both RTL and LMDC that he thinks Carmen is a beautiful woman and he said he is still physically attracted to Carmen at the Reunion. Ashley, Winter, and Carmen said that production edited out what Clifton actually said at the Reunion and we didn't get all the conversations. Both ladies fit in to the position based on their looks, but Clifton said he had never dated or been married to a dark skin woman before. Had Carmen been on RTL in the beginning week 1 when the show first started and she was light skin then Clifton would have chose Carmen over Joi, the only reason he didn't was because Clifton and Joi chose each other day 1 and said they were leaving the show together.
@@chooselove4307 you didn’t read what said. You just broken down what I said. Read in between the lines. I said he is not attracted to her meaning he has an issue with her physically, meaning her skin color and her features.
@@CHOCOCAT8444 exactly
@@thepurpleone5959 I actually read in between the lines which is why I brought up Carmen skin complexion because I understood that's why you thought he wasn't really attracted to Carmen even though he said it on both shows. What I am saying to you is that Clifton said on RTL that although he has never dated a dark skin woman before he didn't have anything against them because dark skin women are beautiful, because his mother is dark skin. I was only telling you what he said on RTL so you wouldn't think he had something against Carmen because of her complexion or physical features since he chose her as his #2 when she first came on the show. He didn't pick any of the other light skin girls or dark skin girls before Joi or Carmen, because he didn't like the way they looked and they didn't have body like Joi and Carmen. That's why Clifton was initially attracted to Joi and Carmen because of their curves, ass, breast, and muscular legs. Clifton only complaint about Carmen when he first met her was the fact she wore blue colored contacts, he said it was like Little Baby Jesus looking at him. Still to this day Clifton says Carmen is a beautiful woman and he is still physically attracted to her even though he's married to Joi. When Carmen and Tina came on RTL in weeks 5 and 6, then the men started replacing their light skin picks with Carmen and Tina, because they were beautiful and fine. What most people don't know unless they watched RTL is that Carmen wasn't attracted to Clifton or any other guy on the show, she never picked Clifton as one of picks of interest. On RTL Carmen only picked Paul and Eric, and then replaced Eric with Donovan when he was voted off. Carmen Felder has always only dated and been married to rich successful pretty boy type men, she don't date men who look like Clifton.
Cliff and Joi should not be married. They on totally different levels. Cliff is still into Carmen. Joi trust Cliff and Carmen friendship. But to me it's showing more than friendship. He protects Carmen instead of his wife. What wife is okay with their husband and their friend being around each other without me. Taking pictures and posting pictures online.
A wife like Joi who told Carmen to be by Clifton side to block and keep other women off of him while Joi was still singing in Mexico after Ready To Love ended. It was totally a business arrangement and Joi asked Carmen to watch Clifton and keep other women off of him while she was singing at the resort, until Joi quit and came back to the DMV permanently to be with Clifton.
@@chooselove4307Wow, she did all that for a known cheater with 3 baby mamas. 😳
Sorry but the minute they spoke about her deceased father he should have shut it down. She still is hurting from hwr father's death. He protects carmen more than Joi and thats a problem!
How would u know though? He just told you that Joi was willing to go back n forth n when he says stop she don’t listen. 👂
Kojo but if you’re going to use Adam and Eve analogy you must finish with the statement. Yes Eve blamed Adam for their disobedience. However, when Adam was confronted by God and was asked the question have you eaten from the forbidden tree ( known as the tree of knowledge) Adam stated
It was the he woman you put here with me--she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." He also didn’t take accountability. I know as women we may do a lot, but let’s be fair…some (not all) men are known for playing the “blame game” as well🥴
RIGHT!!!!
Are we surprised about this, though? Clifton showed who he was multiple times on the show.
excatly ! Im not surprised
You can’t pick and choose when a man is supposed to protect you. It is an understanding on both ends. It requires vulnerability
u nailed it
You are so on point. Thank you for your knowledge and insight.
Ashley cover herself and quick covers her when she is wrong
Tells you fundamentals, work ethic, & hard work, not taking being in the NBA for granted.
In Ready to Love, Joi was loud and forceful. In this show she wants to step back and let him take the lead. you can’t have it both ways. That’s why I think she is not believable.
But you can though. Joi during the dating phase and Joi as a married woman may not look the same especially if you have a man that allows you to sit in your feminine energy.
Joi looks broken
I understand your position, Kojo, but I’m not sure that I agree with you 100% as far as Joi is concerned. I do agree that she’s particularly strong and can handle herself, but I also think that she was ganged up on at the Deep Creek trip. I can definitely understand why she felt alone in that moment. Clifton sitting there not really saying anything in her defense was very telling. I think that he could’ve done more to support here in that moment.
joi is allowed to feel alone, ganged up on, etc..We validate feelings here. Yet the feelings does not dictate everyone else reality. In a relationship your feeligns dont trump everybody else. So both have to come to play unless they agree they saw the same thing
Teach! "Step back!"
You hv to take into consideration that most of the other cast had been coming @ her relentlessly for months. Erana invited Terri, so Joi felt like she was on an island by herself. If they had been married longer he may hv picked up on her need for his input & support.
I was so disappointed and disgusted by joys behavior at the ready for love reunion. I think he saw her character and continued the relationship but the respect was never there after.
All this smoke for Joi when a man who is supposed to be her husband is putting another woman needs above hers. She has stated her boundaries and feelings to Clifton and he still have not honor them. Be careful of your bias because of RTL. If this was anyone else your commentary would be different.
There’s no smoke for Joi this is a message for more than just them. We gotta communicate 😂🤣
Because she knew he he was and signed up for it. He had 2 babies in diapers by 2 different women when she got with him. He’s treated her like he treated his ex wives. Women want to think they’re different or better than other women. I can see if it was many years ago, and he’s had time to grow and mature, but he was fresh out of dogging another woman.
Clifton heard the word "feel" was thanks to Carlos saying that
True that
Clifton is afraid of Joi's reaction. She's hard headed and I knew he would have a hard time with her from RTL reunion.
Kojo, you're wrong on this one.
I CANT be wrong because it wasnt about wrong or right..i stated this is perhaps another side. When men dont protect we have to ask why
Carmen got something on Clifton 🤔
Well kojo I understand a portion of what you're saying as a woman. We are very strong and had to always fight for herself. Work for herself and is very independent. Yes, at times we can appear that we might not need anyone, but that is not, so. I am not one of those women. But to say I do not need a man to speak for me or to lead me. That is not so. Those particular women, which I am a part of that group, need a strong man to lead. Need someone to pull us back when we need to be pulled back so to the contrary. I want you to understand it is very, very important for us to have a man that will lead us in the direction that we should be going and yes, we will blame them. I agree with that part
Erana put her in that position and she had no words for her.Joi always acts tough. But she wasn’t ganged up on. She could have decided not to engage. Erana should have called off her invited guest from making Joi feel ganged up on.
Cliff is a bully & Joi backed down cause she didn’t want that spoke. The way he raised up to Ashley is how he intimidated Joi.
When you are single you hve to protect yourself no one else is there. You have to pay the bills no one else is there. Just like as a woman you do things for your spouse that maybe he has done for himself before you came along. Cliff can’t expect to be married and NEVER protect Joi or come to her defense just cause she’s been able and the only one to do it in the past.
Deep creek was a bad example. I feel Joi was truly defeated with this Carmen situation and that’s exactly what she was upset about. She felt she had to carry she and her whole crew ie Carmen and Clifton.
I believe Clifton was compassionate to her at deep creek. He even gave Ashley the side eye when she started bumping into Joi and the Doctor conversation. When she shut down and got up. She said I need a minute, after the minute when she didn’t return, he went right after and left with her. Ashley insulted Clifton right there and she didn’t say anything to her also.
I blame the rest of the cast for ganging up on them. It was a miserable season for them and a good part from their relationship.
I think that Joi is a problem. She wants to keep her life private in a public space that she put herself in. Then get mad at the people around her for not protecting her lies and secrets. Its wild to me. Live an honest life and that is one less to worry about.
I hear u and yet deep creek is the one she said she was unprotected not Carmen. She wanted him to defend her tho and he missed it
@@LittleBlackBook91 I understand Kojo. I’m not saying you decided that. I’m saying it was not the description for Joi to bring up when asked how she didn’t feel protected. I do believe it was hard to come up with an ultimatum to Clifton regarding Carmen. So now she just bring other issues up to make him consider what she really wants and that is to disconnect from Carmen
I know and by I love the discussion. I actually agree he hasn’t protected her with Carmen. I’m just highlighting to folks…we specifically addressed what they addressed
There's no love there they met on the TV show and the way joi got him it was underhanded add Clifton is showing her who he really is
Exactly
I always felt that these two already knew each other before, Ready to love. I can be wrong but the whole vibe of these 2 was too fast, Who else did Joi date on that show I’ll wait 🤔. Maybe it was filming. Joi always appeared alone on that show or she gave off the homie vibes with the other guys. It all will come out eventually with these 2. I’ll wait. 🫣
@@ShaShaLuva414 On Ready to Love Joi and Cliff liked each other. Until the end of the episode is when they got serious. I don't recall Joi being into any other man but Cliff.
I’ve been saying that too since they came on the show. IDK, what they are doing. They never display affection for each other and their body language and response to each other just doesn’t look romantic. Unfortunately, Joi has such a strong personality that maybe she needs to be with a Beta man because Clifton definitely seems to an alpha male, but broken down alpha now because it doesn’t seem like he gets to rest in it. I think Carmen realizes this and plays on it to the MAX
He protected her before and was accused of being a big mouth in Ashley’s face. He fell back because this comes off as, Women arguing back and forth he just stayed out of it. I’m a woman and for some reason I get why he didn’t intervene. Exactly what you’re saying. He left it to the Women.
You’re making a whole lot of sense in this case. That’s why I don’t really care for Joi. She’s mean. Her energy is heavy (masculine) I see why men say this. She and Ashley are similar too me.
joi and ashley carry the same energy hence they clashed.
@@LittleBlackBook91 exactly
She deserves everything she gets! Dont like either one of them, especially after how they treated my girl Dakiya on Ready to Love. Dakiya is happily married to a much better-looking man than Clifton and living her best life not like these two clowns. Why would Joi expected anything good coming from this man as it relates to a woman.
This!!! Say it again!! When I saw that clip from RTL I said KARMA will visit Joi. She was so nasty to DaKiya now look… AON while she telling Ashley that she likes her but that she loves Clifton and Carmen yeah boo but Carmen surely doesn’t love you(Ms. Joi).
KO, Im loving this series of your breakdown!
Tinaaaaa babay good to see u honestly
I believe it's a man's natural instinct to protect HOWEVER, once you show him you do not respect him in that area..you are on your own!! And for the men, she may be upset with you in that moment but will appreciate you later..UNLESS she is just immature.
That was a word Kojo!
By his grace
Clifton not only enjoyed Carmen’s attraction to him as a lot of men do but Carmen is also growing his beard oil business which may produce riches.
Ah, so he needs to keep her around for business
Conflict of interest if he doesn’t stand strong in boundaries
Your husband asked you on several occasions not to attend. Joi chose to put herself in these spaces for the show and is now blaming Clifton.
Secondly, he should have ended the friendship with Carmen immediately based on what Carmen said. There was no gray area. Now, ironically Yusha did offer support to Joi. Yusha was 100% spot on. Yet his mature level headed perspective made Winter angry!
I don't usually agree with you Kojo, but in this instance you are totally right! The important thing to remember about what Clifton said is that he didn't feel like he needed to protect Joi at Battle Creek, because Joi was battling and arguing with both men and women on Ready To Love and Love & Marriage DC and holding her own. Also, another very important thing Clifton said is Joi didn't listen and wouldn't take his advice when he would step in and try to protect her so basically she blew her husband off. Men don't usually protect women who are strong enough to protect themselves and hold their own against other women, men usually only step in and get involved when another man is disrespecting their wife like. Powerful and successful women like Carmen and Ashley don't need men to step in and protect them from women or men, but women like Joi who are not powerful or that successful in the community will feel like she needs protection in that situation at Battle Creek. I didn't feel like Joi was being attacked in that discussion amongst the group at Battle Creek, but I do feel like Joi was the one who was aggressive and defensive towards everyone in the room like she was to everybody on the show all season long.
Thank u so much. This is the only point I was making. We know Carmen issue is problematic. But he’s also interpreting her behaviour. and in part 3 we will talk about Carmen
I see where you're coming from, but it's a different thing when it is 2 of us together, but when we face the world, it is 2 of us against the world.
only if u want it to be...if u want to be 1 vs the world...if u express u dont need my help why would i intervene...im violating boundaries
Let’s be honest. Joi didn’t protect her husband and he didn’t (maybe spitefully) protect her. No woman is going to stand in my face and call my husband names. And on several occasions doubled down and did it in his face with Joi present. When the tables are turned maybe he got Petty.
This is not the case he has a good wife I know them he only married Joi because she was sweet and nice and made his image look good he wants to be with Carmen. They are in a poly relationship now she wants Carmen out because she was talking about her.
It sounds like they need a safe word or a code. To me, you have to communicate your needs OR choose a man who naturally does what you expect. They’re not moving like a team. (and I’ve not even watched the lead up to this-LOL!!!)
And there something still between him and his second choice ⁉️
Not having your back, is that enough reason for separation 😢
Joi did not Respect Clifton, how can you think about being friends with Ashley after she called your husband a B$#@&?
The commentary around the
9:30 -9:45 mark is unfair… if you’re my partner and several ppl are coming for me, and you don’t see or feel that being ganged up on doesn’t warrant being protected??? Your connection to your partner’s feelings are out of whack. Regardless if human beings establish certain patterns of behavior… it still isn’t concrete enough to assume your partner is not in need of protection. Aside from this… Clifton could have whispered to Joi and ask if she was ok. He didn’t do anything.
If ur holding ur own and u seem good why would I be worried. Think about it. How can we know ur not good if ur acting like ur good
The way he played dumb and his wife sitting there telling you!!!!! And the fact that you Cliff didn’t have her back above anyone else!!!!!! He is disgraceful. That wd have bn the end for me. Marriage wd definitely be over!!!!! How dare you put her in a position that was so hurtful.,,,,
but Kojo, that’s his wife!
i know but we gotta learn to communicate...if i told u i don't need defending will u now go and defend me. Ur actually breaking my boundaries' by doing this and dishonouring my wishes...
That makes ZERO sense sir. ZERO SENSE! I have been married 28 years and whether or not I tell my husband to defend me, as his wife, I’m EXPECTING him to defend me!
@@mekosmotivationalmessages what u failed to mention is that 28 years what has ur behaviour been like. Have u acted like u didn’t need him protecting you? Have you acted like u didn’t need him backing you? See we forget our behaviours and attitudes are communication. Yeah ur husband has seen u allow him to defend u, to have ur back and permit him to fight for u. Even God doesn’t trample our boundaries of permittance.
FYI these three just appeared on the show "below the deck" show .... I don't trust them.
It’s a level Clifton should have to not want his wife going off in public no matter what
Clifton is realizing he really wanted Carmen.
I miss yall. I don't watch all the shows u review like this one ,but I do watch Huntsville. I just wanted to come listen anyway. I look forward to ur RTL panels for next season. Hopefully, it's not a hot mess like this last one.
Clifton seems checked out!
Thank you Brother ❤❤❤
No I disagree. She was a single woman on Ready to Love where she had to defend herself. She’s married now! He should’ve defended her & that’s his best friend another reason he should have stepped up. He remained silent as if Carmen has something on him or she’s made a sizable contribution towards their business that he’s always hesitant when it comes to her. U sound buss Sir. I’m sure the reunion is not the first time she’s expressed her feelings towards their off friendship🌹Clifton is suspect.
I’m sorry but I’m cringing 🥴. Joi doesn’t come across as she super head strong. Even if she was a strong woman as her husband she should never feel unprotected. If a man feels a wife is wrong that is totally okay, but that can be discussed later alone. Clifton lost points for me in the entire reunion because he gaslighted and didn’t clearly answer the questions in full. No Joi isn’t innocent but it seems she’s grown since the RTL days. Ppl are allowed to grow. This feel like blaming AGAIN..😢
Hope they watch this
They should of never went on the show as basically newlyweds , still learning each other, and Carmen that’s a big NO,,,
Beautiful job.
Couples should study each other energies. Joy barks a lot and Clifton might be annoyed by her
The only feminine woman on the show is Erana. Those other ones are dominant as heck in their marriages
Agreed! Jamie and Erana are my favorite couple. Don’t get me wrong Ashley needs to pipe down but I have got to give credit to Quick because whether Ashley is wrong or right he protects her!!
@@diedramcbride1168 facts
Reality TV has struck again! Another one bites the dust. Hopefully not
Its the waiting by faith that someone is just gonna organically step up 🤣
Looool ul be waiting for a lil while
Karma for how they treated Dakiya.
This was filmed over a year ago right?
👄A husband that takes up for the side chick👁️🧐If the shoe was on the other foot🤔🤨🙄
What's the name of the show? I think i saw them in ready to love
Your analysis is way off. Had I been in his place, I would have went at Black immediately. You don’t let any other man that had an incident or situation in the past address your wife. Clifton should have unleashed his ego and informed the entire group that they needed to talk to him. He acted like a chump. The fact that he couldn’t see what was coming is even worse. She was going to be attacked because we already knew that Black and Sherella had a problem with Joi. Then we knew that Quick and Ashley had a problem with her. His protection didn’t happen even before the trip. He should have shut down Black ASAP! He should not allowed Joi to go to Ashley’s Xmas party. A man has to stand on his principles whether they’re right or wrong. Clifton is not marriage material.
All I’ll say is this I have always been the one in my relationships to handle everything and it’s exhausting. I was having an encounter with my family and I was ganged up in that moment, my now fiancé could tell how I was feeling and he stepped in and defended me and got me out of there. I feel like Clifton doesn’t value Joi. And when you do part 3 we can weigh in on why I say that in regards to Carmen. I do get what you’re saying though but I don’t 💯% agree
if you fiance told you to let him handle things would you let him? If the answer is yes...then you dont have the same problem Joi and CLifton do. THe point is nobody can force themselves onto you. You have to permit. Your fiance jumped in because u have shown him it is ok to defend you...you have a natural energy that has said to him go ahead defend me...notice joi couldnt answer
@@LittleBlackBook91 I haven’t always been that person because I felt like I had to always do the defending, so when he jumped in it was foreign to me but it was what I needed. And we both protect each other
@yolandaferguson9688 I love that for you honestly. And growth is powerful
@@LittleBlackBook91 thank you!! I’ve been a fan of your channel for some time now. I absolutely love you guys ❤️
@@yolandaferguson9688 we appreciate u honestly
Hi this should not be an option with a child and adult we learn from mistakes being vulnerable is a child place an adult we can are should make better decisions
Men & Mars ....Women & Venus
yes, joi a;ways have it. Now wants him to cover her. I think Cliff has no room to be her protector in ny situation with her.
I get your point but this time i dont fully agree. Thats why we get martied. When in oublic you should always be my number one shield whether im acting onmy strength or not. He should have jumped on no natter what...its called a husband and it takes leadership skills to recognise it. We can fight at home about the issue at a later stage....just saying....no one walk their lives counting steps.
U missed the whole point. Communication is to be had. What have u communicated. Ur running on the precebdence of my man should protect me. U expect it right? Which means u will have other behaviours that have shown in the past that u require protection. If someone says they got it, and each time u help they say they got it. Would u now break their wishes and boundaries and help if they haven’t asked? Leadership is also knowing to respect people’s boundaries and behaviours and wishes
@@LittleBlackBook91 Are you married?
I think they just need more time to know each other better in different situations. If I'm being ganged up on I would expect my partner to step in.
not judging the book by the cover , Carmen knows better and should step back. Clifton is a married man and he should have protected his wife but he did not and it was not a good look . i hope going forward in the marriage he will put his wife first . I am not saying he cannot have female friends but Carmen looks mature enough to know she was out of line and posting him on social media with out Joi is not cool . I would not want to be friends with someone who does not respect my spouse .
Carmen has some kind of control over Cliftaaarn
Carlos didn't miss anything, keep in mind Carlos is a girl in a man body
She needs to go