Thank you for all the comments here. I feel like this not only helped me but so many other mothers in a similar boat. We’re not alone and this too shall pass. Doing my best to enjoy every waking moment with Saga and accept my circumstances. It’s a lot bigger than what I have mentioned and once I’m out of this hole I’ll definitely make a video about it. Until then, thank you boos for all the love and support. I’m so grateful for this community 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I don't know if anyone mentioned it, but if your milk duct is still clogged or if it happens again, try putting a warm (hot if you can handle it) towel on the affected breast, and then ask Max to massage the clogged duct. Also, you're both comfortable with it, you can ask him to try to suck out the clog.
I’m not a newborn / infant person either. In fact, I found the newborn stage to be incredibly hard but now that my son is 9 months, it’s so different. He is so much fun and I get pretty good sleep, and I know more and more as he gets more independent it’s going to get easier.
First 3 weeks of my daughter not latching was horrible. Never gave up, kept trying every day and finally it happened but I still had to supplement because my milk supply was low. She nursed for 6 months and that was it. It was so mentally exhausting but I am grateful that it worked out. You’re doing great Maya. We should be friends. We’re similar in age etc.☺️
I look back and think sh**.... I really did all this when I was 17 years old!! Here I am, 18 years later 34 weeks pregnant!! 😅 but absolutely in awe of my 17 yr old self. I think what helped me through those rough moments of chaos and uncertainty was the thought that it was only temporary. Next thing you know your baby is sitting up or walking, and then talking (eventually talking back to you sass and all lol) Then you find yourself reminiscing on the times you kissed their tiny hands and feet, and how when you cradled them in your arms and watched them sleep you didn't realize that one day you were going to miss that. All the love and blessing to your little piece of heaven and your beautiful family 💕❤
To all the new moms out there I have a suggestion for you. I’m a grandma for the first time and in the process of helping my daughter. What I wish someone would’ve told me (many years ago) when it comes to breastfeeding the first week, pump. The baby is learning to latch on and is not getting enough (hence the crying) and if you get engorged here comes the bloody nipples. So by pumping it helps the milk flow easier. Once you get to that point you will not have to pump as much. Hope this help. Blessings to you Maya, Max and Saga.
Not the best idea to just pump and use a bottle! Babies can develop nipple confusion and may not go back to the breast because they don’t want to work for the milk, they want the easy flow of a plastic nipple! It’s suggested to exclusively nurse the first 6 weeks so mom n baby learn their rhythm and all that comes with breastfeeding! It’s frustrating and bloody and painful and ….. HOWEVER it doesn’t last forever! Saga came into the world from a UTOPIC existence and now she along w mom n dad will learn one another! You will learn her cries, her personality etc… but it takes time! Enjoy the good, the bad and the down right ugly but most of all Enjoy the beauty that is new life, new family and lots of LOVE! It will get better I promise! Lay Doula, breastfeeding coach from across the waters in Philadelphia!!! Be well! 🙏🏽💟☮️😊☀️🥰🙏🏽
As a mother of 3 I would not suggest this also. Of course if the baby is hurting you use the lanlion oil and if it’s that frustrating pump but make pumping a last resort. The skin to skin contact and baby feels helps mamma to produce more milk. Also babies need to work your nipples to build strength that they do not build with a bottle. At the beginning before your milk comes in yes they only get a little bit that’s why you need the feeling of baby on nipple so that you are stimulated to produce enough milk. Persistence leads to success here.
This is actually terrible advice. Moms please seek out a lactation consultant. You do not need to pump, you can hand express. There are videos on UA-cam on how to do it ❤️.
Girl! Cry it out, shake it off. It's cool you're crying it out. Yo, I found my son to be so much fun when he started talking. You still have some levels to go. Enjoy all of the levels because they won't repeat.
I should be taking a nap or preparing dinner, but I’m on the verge of tears with how real this is! Currently a new mom to a 5 week old baby girl and I was not prepared. It does not matter how young or old you are, and how long you waited to have a child. I’m 31 and I have cried almost everyday since she came home from the hospital. Sometimes I feel bad that I feel so overwhelmed when I prayed to God for my beautiful, healthy baby girl. I constantly wonder if I am meeting her need as I breastfeed while trying to meet her emotional needs. The sleepless nights become stressful very quickly and I’m constantly buying new baby gadgets hoping it will remedy something, when all she really needs is me! I commend every mom out there, especially those that do it on there own. I’m so blessed to have my husband and our mothers who have showed up in more ways than I could have ever imagine. This is hard, no cake walk. Being with my newborn all day while on maternity leave, leaves me mentally and physically exhausted. The anxiety I felt for not being in love with her right away bothered me. Dealing with all these things while trying to recover from delivery and a huge shift in hormonal changes compounded with emotions you have never felt before is enough to make you go crazy. It’s just a lot, no one tells you and there is no amount of preparation for it. I know this is temporary, but i am leaning to take one day at a time and find the beauty in the process.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!😍😍😍 No, we have not forgotten. Child birth is the ultimate sacrifice. And we should always be ready to congratulate our mothers and celebrate them on Mother's Day and do all that we can while they are here with us. Amen
I will never forget the first time I ever broke out in hives all over was when I brought my son home for the first time from the hospital. Talk about stress! As well as bleeding and hurting nipples, lack of sleep, patience. . . I don’t miss those days at all but I do reminisce on the joys of when he was a baby. Congrats to you and Max!
yep, my 1st two weeks of being a mother was stressful. I cried probably 18 hours of each day, little sleep, my daughter was not latching on properly, milk came in late, I had little help because I was not at home and went into labour earlier than expected, it was winter (I hate the winter) and she was bawling like crazy. I think may I have PTSD from that whole experience
Maya, it’s been 23 years since my last baby, but everything you’re going through is SOOOOO TRUE!!! I wish women would be more honest about their breastfeeding and motherhood journey. It’s no joke, but you’re so right about the moment you fall in love with your baby! The nights may be long, but years are short. She won’t be this way for long. Hugs!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Some people aren't able to breastfeed, I wasn't able to, but that doesn't make you inadequate. There's a lot of pressure to breastfeed, but stay positive through your journey. You are doing great.
Congrats once again Maya!! I have 4 kids, the youngest is 8 now. The advice I would give to you is that to remember you and your husband are a TEAM. Learn together so that you both become skilled in doing ALL the things for your daughter. Of course, one of you will be better at certain things than the other BUT you should both know how to do it well enough. When you are tired and stressed the last thing you want to do is waste time and emotional energy fighting over who is SUPPOSED to do what. Team work makes the dream work. ❤️🥰
People so underestimate how difficult the early days of parenthood is. You are so right that a solid relationship is so important and so is having family around you. Everything you're feeling is absolutely normal and you should never feel bad for feeling inadequate.
As I am on OG lol to this mom thing, as I have a 9 and 14 year old, I learned to be myself. I believe it was about 2-3 years ago and everyone always referred to me as "the boy's mom". It was almost like I lost my own identity because I threw myself 150% into being the best mom I could. But then all these years later when they are thriving and doing well, one in HS thinking about college, the lightbulb went off (that empty nest feeling). Oh snap, who am I without the boys, what do I like, hobbies etc. outside of the boys. So my advice, take that walk for yourself, work in the garden for yourself, whatever brings even 5 min of joy to you is good and it's OK. You're no less of a mother if you take some moments just for you. Sending love from the US (you got this!)
I have 3 kids and I only successfully breast fed one. Don’t let the stigma of not breastfeeding make you feel less than. My two who wasn’t are just as healthy and smart as the one who I succeeded with. The first kid is more of us wanting to be the perfect mom and less about enjoying the journey. My first kid was the one who had it all. My third I learned to function with less and less expectations on myself. It’s a journey and everything that you are feeling is normal.
Omg MAYA!!! I have been a mama for 17 months…. And the rude awakenings are REAL!!! Didn’t expect so much childhood trauma to bubble up to the surface, God was like, you better deal with this!!! But I am SO thankful for my sweet baby son ❤️ he is the best thing to ever have happened to me And also, the reason why I barely have time for myself alone 😂 important for anyone but especially the introvert in me! I hope you have the support you need, I’m moving from the country (moved here to raise baby in covid) back to the city because I wasn’t around any of my friends or support peoples, and it was extremely challenging!!! Especially during Covid, he was born May 2020! Can’t wait to be closer to my people. Anyway, Stay blessed and sending so much love!!! ❤️
Congratulations mama!! I feel like postpartum is not talked about half as much as it should. It’s like you go from being worshipped as a pregnant woman to it ain’t about you it’s about the baby. And it’s a huge transition. You will get the hang of it and more comfortable every single day. We’re rooting for you!!! 🧡
You are not alone. Mother of 3, went through the same experience, issue with baby latching on, clogged milk ducts, breast infections from trying to "do it all", tears, etc. Take care of you first. Take it easy because it is all about you and the baby needs her momma.🍼👶🏽
Awe omg, why did I start to cry when you cried..lol..my baby boy just turned 3 months and since the fall came hes been really congested and not feeling well so hes been super cranky because he cant get good sleep. So I'm getting hit hard hunty...I dont even know what sleep is anymore and breastfeeding is a whole other challenge..smh..so trust me you are not alone my love. Welcome to motherhood!🤗
Girl, wait till she becomes a toddler... you're gonn be like, take me back to her infant days, lol. You are doing great, mama! Never feel inadequate.Motherhood is very hard, but we thank God for the ability to adapt. God bless you and stay prayed up!
It’s the no for me 😆 every time I ask my youngest a question, her default answer is no. Like what??? Then she goes ohh yeah I actually want that 🤦🏾♀️ she’s a 3teen 😂 threeteen 😆
@@gigiajavon122 Girl😄tell me about it. I have a 3 year old boy…mine is the chase, I’m tired. I’m consistently chasing after him…too much energy for me😵💫
The newborn stage was so stressful 😭 I cried every other day lol so disliked it 🥺but my baby is 6 mths old now and it does get easier but motherhood overall is thee hardest job I EVER had. S/O to all the mamas ✨🙌🏾💕
It’s okay to cry Maya. I remember crying all the time. It’s an adjustment. Your life just changed forever. You’re so awesome and you’re going to have a loving journey with your baby….learning each other.
Maya!!! I’m 40 with a 10 month old daughter and 4 weeks pregnant lol. We’ve been through the same struggles. New mom, breastfeeding, family far away. And side note, I’m Blasian too 😂 Seriously let me know if you have questions or just need to scream. It’s often needed especially in the beginning. 💖
Thankful for sharing these honest and frank thoughts and experiences. More moms need to share that having a baby is a traumatic experience in a thousand ways!
I can relate Maya. I breastfed my first baby for only a few months because we never got into the swing of things. I pumped but then my milk supply dropped. It gets better honestly and by the time I had my second baby I was a pro because I learned so much the first time around.
I cried when you cried describing your breastfeeding experience because that was me. That time for me was the most challenging as well and family kept pressuring me to do formula instead, but I stood my ground and God blessed me to feed my son the way I wanted to feed him. Myles is 1 now and he is the most joyful baby I’ve ever known.
😭Awww totally the truth. The clogged milk duct had to be awful. So so sorry for you. This is why i have no tolerance for kids that are disrespectful to their mom. Thank you for sharing. 💝
It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to be stressed out. It’s ok to let your friend/family come over so you and your husband can sleep. I didn’t breast feed and if you are having a hard time with it give her a bottle. Don’t let the breast feeding shit stress u out!
Don’t encourage her to give up just because you did sis ( which is okay ) it gets easier maya and IF it doesn’t you did indeed try ! Breastfeeding is a beautiful/ hard journey that’s so worth it.
@@Vondelthomas YES!! It's work on the front end as well as an adjustment/ shift of paradigm. However, it gets easier!!!! Ya gotta crawl before ya ball!!!
There are guaranteed to be aspects of motherhood that can cause some stress. That doesn’t mean you should give up on something that’s worthwhile for your child.
@@weekend1rocks I didn’t say dont give the baby breast milk. She can pump and give a bottle. Not everyone can breast feed. I have a daughter and didn’t breast feed by choice and she is perfectly fine.
I’m in my second week of motherhood as a first time mom, your video is amazing. We aren’t alone! 💗 I feel like I’m taking things one day at a time and it helps me release anxiety a lot. Congratulations mama!
Aww my heart. Congrats! ❤️ I’m a new mom too. My baby boy is 6 months. It’s getting easier and more fun with time. It’s def still hard but to anyone reading this, you are not alone. Reaching out for help is the best thing you can do for you and your baby. It takes a village is not just a corny tag line.
Try using your baby Papoose or body sling to get more work done while she is awake. Talk to her about what you are doing. Tell her "our plans" for the day. Then if she falls asleep. After your workout. Lay down. This is not a marathon. if you are tired, lay down. Stay hydrated. Not sleeping is going to wear you out more. Which will cause other complications. I'm not a doctor. I just went through a lot of what you have sharing. You stay true, boo.❤❤❤
What you are going through was me to the 10th power. I went through postpartum depression for at least two years. I had nerves to have another child 15 months later but she was much easier. Everything you are saying is bringing back memories. The worst for me was the lost of sleep. I can deal with anything else. It was so bad that all I wanted for my birthday was for my mom to keep my baby over night. The best gift I've ever had. One day, I was breastfeeding my son and fell asleep. When I woke up, my breastmilk was shooting out and my baby was trying to catch it. Lol. Oh my gosh, it was so hard and so beautiful at the same time. It's like waking up to a gift every day. It's like wondering how did life happen before him? I remember the first time I had a dream about him. I cried because a person that I never knew is suddenly so important to me. It's a roller coaster of emotions and I thank God for my two precious children who are grown with children of their own.
I loved this video! Maya is so real, especially about not falling in love with the baby immediately. That's totally normal but it's not spoken about as if it's taboo. Like "I don't know you, you don't know me" is a REAL thing. Yes, Maya! Thank you for being so honest and making it okay to feel the way we feel.
I had my first at 19 and then had three more kids throughout my 20's. And it's normal to not feel entirely connected at first, you're just getting to know them, the love and connection grows as time goes by. You're doing so well mama! *hugs*
awwww 😢😢 you’re never alone maya. ❤️❤️❤️ so many women go through the same things you’re going through. thanks for being transparent with this journey. 2 things that stood out to me was when you said “i don’t know you, you don’t know me” & that you didn’t fall IN LOVE with saga until day 3. Many people feel like as soon as you give birth you have this overwhelming feeling of love, but it’s not always the case. A lot of moms go through major anxiety first before they can even fullly love. It’s the raw and uncut truth for me & the way u delivered it. That is appreciated.
You are completely right about feeling guilty about not being in love with your newborn. I love my son as a newborn but I’m obsessed with him as a toddler. The newborn phase is not for the faint of heart. I didn’t think I was gonna make it out with my sanity in tact, but each milestone has its own challenges and man motherhood is so many lengths and depths of emotions but our little humans need us and there is nothing better than seeing the innocence of your child and giving them as much love and nurture we try to give, what a journey of love
I love that you fully expressed yourself and gave the raw truth. I felt the EXACT same way and went into postpartum depression with my son. I was so mad that no one really expressed the emotions of how hard it is to be a new parent, especially when you know nothing about babies lol You are doing amazing as is because you recognize like “Hey this is hard and I need help” ❤️ It will get better trust me and you will fall more in love with Saga! 🥰
I was just rewatching your single “I don’t care about my frizzy hair” and dang near shed a tear! Look at how you continue to evolve and how beautiful your journey has been to watch and feel apart of. Congratulations on everything Maya, can’t wait to tag along on this next part of your journey!! (& btw, I’m still having bby fever even after watching 🙃)
Motherhood to me has been constantly questioning if I am passing a test with no real study guide, its hard af with levels, also I felt detached from my son for the first month, like I took great care of him but definitely didn't feel the instant "in love " feeling at first. Looking back I definitely had the "baby blues" but those baby smiles definitely breaks that down quickly , YOU GOT THIS MAYA & MAX 💓
Yes, most if not all of us moms experience this. I know when I share advice with my pregnant friends, I am mindful of not influencing their journey with the trauma/negative things that happened during my new mama journey. But sometimes the truth just needs to be said. Motherhood is the hardest thing I've ever had to experience, but the most rewarding at the same time. Enjoy her little hands and feet because they won't be little anymore and you'll be missing those first moments.
You are not alone! My son is 8 months now, and the first 3 months were definitely the hardest. It feels like what I imagine being hazed is like! It does take time for you AND the baby to learn how to breastfeed. I had cracked nipples and was going through tubes and tubes of nipple cream (lanolin is the way to go!) I remember being in tears when my family would hand the baby to me to feed because it hurt so much. I did a virtual session with a lactation consultant because my doula said it shouldn't be painful after 6 weeks and it was. When I tell you that this lactation consultant said, "Put another pillow there and hold him up like this" and the pain stopped immediately....it was a whole new world! I was so upset that I waited so long to get help. You are doing a great job, and I'm so glad you're talking about all of this. I feel like the difficulties of post partum life isn't discussed enough.
"Do you love me , Do you like me?!" Maya let me you... Your daughter is going to bring out elements in you, you didn't know existed. And your going to have so much fun on this journey. Saga has no clue how fun her mom is. You and your husband are going to do well raising her. ❤❤❤❤
Pour into yourself. Hardest lesson I had to learn. My daughter is two and I’m just now getting it. If mama is not charged, nobody is fueled. I swear it gets a lot better… you’re amazing and you’re doing better than you think 🤎
This video was much needed. My youngest is almost 3. But I remember the newborn days like it was yesterday. Went through very similar exerience with emotions and lack of help. But I am alos horrible at asking for help. I know now to befirend people who are parents and have gone through or is going through the pains of parenting. Cause most of my friends were not parents and Im pretty sure they were looking at me like I was crazy when I was so frustrated that I was only getting 3hrs sleep or less for MONTHS. I'm ranting.. thanks for a sharing your experience. I also had difficulties with breastfeeding my firstborn. But at around 6 weeks she finally latched. Don't give up. Keep trying each day. Ok Bye-bye now :)
Social media or even women in general will have you thinking motherhood is nothing butterflies and baby kisses. It’s amazing, I would not give it up for anything but it can suck as well! Breastfeeding was a nightmare with my first child and a breeze with my second. I always tell women to seek a lactation consultant immediately. Like Day 1, 2, and 3 and keep consulting.
Aww, Maya, you are the most beautiful, competent, inspiring, candid, capable, loving woman I am motivated by. I’ve watched you for almost five years and you’re a strong, empowering,inspiration blessed by God. We love you so much!❤️❤️❤️
Oh my darling... You are enough. Saga is blessed to have you two and you are doing amazing. It's a marathon not a sprint, you'll both learn the ropes together
Everyone's experiences are different.. Just keep telling yourself this to will pass. They grow up so fast so try to enjoy every moment. I remember my daughter smiling at my pink hair rollers, yes the look she gave me so precious. My youngest is 31 oldest 42 so enjoy those moments of nonverbal communication and loving glances.
Breastfeeding was so hard and painful for me too, and honestly I've never enjoyed it. But I wanted to do it so badly for my little girl that it worked out in the end. You will succeed if you really want to, so don't give up ! After a month, I got used to it, and I was able to breastfeed her until she turned 20 months ! I am proud of what I've accomplished, but I'm glad this chapter of my life is over 😅.
When I gave birth at 21, I was a happy, in awe new mother. However, I was unbelievably terrified dressing my new baby to take home from the hospital. That first week I called my doctor every day with questions. He was so sweet, he sent a visiting nurse to our home to show me how to handle a newborn. Breastfeeding was unsuccessful due to cracked nipples. Since he nursed every hour on the hour, he’d fall asleep during feeding. I had to thump his foot to keep him awake. What he really wanted was a pacifier, so when the milk came, he would feed for a minute aggressively, then stop only to gently suck so no milk would come. And he would clamp down when I tried burping him. You get the picture. Hilarious! No one told me you had to prepare your nipples for breastfeeding. This was back in 1966☺️ You have a village. Healthy to feel the feelings....and you’re doing awesomely!
Mom to an almost two year old, first time mom btw and almost 39y/o. Things people don’t tell you. 1. The love builds, is not like Cupid. The intensity grows. 2. Hot flashes due to hormonal changes. I had no idea, I had a new born a using a fan in the winter (poor baby) because I was hot and thought the room was too hot foe my baby too. 3. Holly emotions that crashed and I was crying for that first week 4. You will inevitability fight with your partner about baby stuff, lack of sleep spells irritability and middle of the night bickering 6. Post c-section sex was painful for me and many women, for months. Doctor said it was hormonal too. 7. Baby brain last months, even years to some. This means forgetting simple things but also hard to focus at work
Becoming a mom is tough, and I remember 9 yrs ago feeling overwhelmed and a bit sad. There's no book to prepare you for the fact that everything changes, but it will get better. You'll get into a routine, and you'll find your new 'flow'. For breastfeeding, add fenugreek to your diet-it helps with milk flow. Be sure to also not let the milk build...pump it out if you have to...to avoid getting engorged. You got this!
Aww love, I struggled for over a month breast feeding my daughter and struggled months in when I had to go back to work! It’s NOT easy but stick to it! You’re amazing!!!
I love that you uploaded this video. I went through all of that as a single mother and I felt inadequate as well. I felt like crying every single day. I got so stressed out that I also broke out in hives 😩 I’m slowly getting the hang of it every single day. Thank you for being so transparent 😊
MAYA I FEEL YOU! I think especially as a first time mum we feel so inadequate at times for the littlest things, and the hormones making you cry all the time just doesn't help! But I realised that its a normal path that we have to go through and that ultimately it helps us learn and and helps you be stronger as a mum and as a woman!! WE ARE SO STRONG!
Thank you for sharing. All that you said is so true. When I became a mother I wasn't in love with my child. It came maybe few days after. Breastfeeding was hard too. I was not spleeping enough and I had so much things to do. I taught "my god this is so difficult, how do the other women do ?!". I am impressed you are still making video. You rock ! It's gone be easier with time you just have to try sleeping the more you can and keep being so comprehensive with Max. It's is not easy for good men to answer our expectations and maybe you will have some arguments during the next months but the key is to try to manage time alone when baby is older and you feel comfortable to leave her with family. Those moments alone helps a lot!
This video is spot on !!! Anyone expecting take notes it a beautiful process of growth and evolution but its no joke.. being a new parent is very very hard emotionally, mentally and physically ,just always remember there is light at the end of the tunnel and your babies are totally worth it in the end
THANK YOU for speaking on the toll being a new parent takes on your relationship.I am a new mom of a 2 month old baby boy and my husband and I also got on each other's nerves, because your patience as a new parent is pretty low. It is also important to address the issue with your partner, which is something we did and it helps you both because you realize you are both feeling the same emotions and you are both aware of the changes.
Once you overcome it it's hard to give the emotion because you realize you survived it. You've healed the emotion by that time. It does and will get better ❤️
This is soooo relatable! I think the thing about those early postpartum days is that it's hard to convey what it's like; you just have to experience it. The combo of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual upheaval all at once is just !!! There were definitely physical surprises, but what I really wasn't prepared for were the so-called "baby blues." I thought I was supposed to be overjoyed and so in love and instead I experienced what felt like grief. It's so disorienting. My girl is 18 months old now and I still look at her and think, "OMG I'm her mom" and I fall in love with her more everyday. It's still challenging but has gotten so much better. Especially now that I'm getting more sleep!
I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. Not my first but my first in 13 years, and I am struggling!! There’s no nice way to put it. Breastfeeding for the first time and it’s so hard. No one ever says how hard it is! Thank you for sharing your journey! It’s so easy to feel alone ❤️
I am not a mother and I'm 100% sure that motherhood is extremely hard!!! It's not just about pregnancy, delivery and the first months with your newborn: it's the ultimate lifetime commitment to another human being.
Been there. I know that feeling. No books can teach you how to be a Mom and breastfeeding. OMG. Both my breast were in-gorged for about 2 days. I was in pain. I had a screaming newborn. I was sleep deprived and crying myself. Once my milk started flowing, I was so relieved. It got easier. I had the best support network of family and friends. I feel for you. You’ll get thru it. I commend you and all Mom’s. It’s not easy, but so worth it. 🤗
It is a must that you sleep when she sleeps. If not, you will deplete yourself and just feel overwhelmed. As for the relationship, baby and hubs, there will be major ups and downs!! Therapy will be your friend. I didn’t go to therapy until it was too late, I was sinking in depression and feeling inadequate as a parent but had to wear the “I’m good, I’m strong, I got this” mask. There’s so much I can type. I was a single mom for 17 years and then married in a blended family for 10. Motherhood is HARD!!! I’m finally an empty nester but sh*t is real!! Salute to all the moms with adult children, we made it baby!!
Thank you for your honesty in this video 🥰 I am on my journey to having another child and for the most part I think I have forgotten the worst of it but that screaming tiredness combo actually almost made me loose my mind the first time 😩 I think we need to normalise authentic honesty when speaking about new motherhood because if I had known that babies will cry for all reasons all of the time I may have managed my expectations more effectively. videos like these help! thank you, get sleep when you can!💕
Maya! Your truth! More women need to be this transparent. My son just turned 3 and this is the best age so far. My God. He is like my little homie now but that baby stage...I'm good.
Aw everyday Saga gets older! That’s the awesome thing! 😂 I have 3 and the youngest is 21 months. This too will be a beautiful chapter in the memory journey. Be kind to yourself babes
Preaaaaaaaaaach! I have twin toddlers (2.5) BUT when I had them I felt exactly the same. The mom guilt is BRUTAL it triggered anxiety and depression (never had depression in my life until I had babies). I didn’t feel connected “bonded” to them even though I loved them with all my heart. It was the oddest and craziest feelings. Maya please remember your hormones are out of whack- you will feel better as time passes! It will get easier as time passes. You got this 💪🏼
For me labor is easy. Its the first two trimesters of pregnancy. I suffered with H.G my second and third pregnancy. Third baby didn’t make it😔. God bless you🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I couldn’t produce enough milk and gave up breastfeeding, wish I didn’t because both my girls didn’t take well to formula.
It's totally ok to cry and go through all the emotions. I have been through all this too and things they don't tell you or find on the internet and have to process and be present at the same time can be a lot! like A LOT! I am so glad to know you have help. I've watched your journey and am genuinely happy for you and your new family. I am anew mom myself of a 2 year-old beautiful girl and besides all the bads we go through, the love that we feel is just incredible! You're doing great mama. Always trust your gut! Sending hugs and light!
Girl you are more than adequate. I had the same problem with breastfeeding. I had to feed a new born who cried 24/7 and sucked my bleeding nipples. One thing I have to say, it will get better, hand in there momma! Saga is precious😍. You rock!
Given that this is your experience, could you imagine what single moms without support from the child's father or family go through, especially in the US where maternity leave is not mandatory. Count your blessings. Single moms really deserve a medal.
Beautiful Maya your transparency and truths are beyond amazing! You inspire so many just because of how you bare it all and I am grateful for women like you! Everything you shared was soooo on point!!! There is no exact manual nor book not even advice to motherhood especially first time moms. Not to mention life in general just as motherhood is not one size fits all. Breastfeeding is a challenge for many first time moms and I like yourself was one. When our son first started it was painful like no other pain. I yelled out so loud and grabbed the pillows that were next to me. Eventually it became easier but the process was challenging not to mention having to experience engorged breast milk that no one had told me anything about. Lol 😂 I was researching day and night as well as watching videos to gain more knowledge on navigating through it all. Thank God for the people He blesses us with at the exact time we need them. Your tribe will understand and offer all the support you need. So true about the emotional roller coasters and changes we have to go through during the process but in the end it all pays off as we find the time to appreciate those small moments like self care which is extremely important as mothers even fathers in order to be able to operate at our best capacities. My husband shared some great advice with me when we became first time parents…”Remember to care for your temple just as much as you sacrifice for others. If you fall apart then so does your foundation.” I learn to take everything one day at a time and if all doesn’t get done then it’s ok because there’s always tomorrow. Even God rested and we have to listen to our mind and bodies. You are doing your absolute best boo so congratulate yourself even those moments in which you feel overwhelmed, inadequate or not worthy. I had many of those moments and they are there even as we raise our kiddos up. My grandmother use to tell me that as a mother the feelings of not doing enough is part of the package but instead shift the atmosphere by finding the best in what we are able to do. If not take a shot of something and keep it moving lol 😂 cause nothing is ever perfect. There’s beauty for those ashes. Trust me those days are very real and they also pay off because its your personal woman battlefield scars as our daughter calls mine. They teach us that we Overcomers and designed for so much. Through every tear, sleepless night, diaper changes, frustrations, all of it we become and unfold into the phenomenally made woman you are to be. Saga is beyond blessed and she will know that simply by all the sacrifices you have choosen to make for her and the life you want to give her. Bravo 👏🏼👏🏼 to you and Max for all you do!! Blessings and love. 🤍🙏🏼
Girl you preaching to the choir! My son is 4 months and it is soo much harder than I imagined. I felt the same way with my husband, he was doing everything around the house however there is still so much more to do! Y'all got this. It's worth it.
OMG YOU ARE SUCH A MOM! CONGRATS I LOVE ALL OF THE REAL FEELINGS. You are giving me everything that a mom goes through and let me tell you the journey will continue and will only make you stronger. It's a beautiful process. Let go of what everyone else says you will experience and Be present in your own experience. Give yourself time, be patient, and you and Max will be the best parents. None of us know what we doing. I don't care how many "how to" You Tube Videos you watch. We all are doing our best. Peace & Light
Awww Maya it will get better. Trust yourself and give yourself grace. You and Max are raising a whole human, it’s scary , it’s hard and it’s the best thing you will ever do. Saga is shameless 2.0. She will be strong, fierce, soft, kind, a leader and an excellent addition to this world. You and Max got this. Lead with love, patience and friendship. Looking forward to this new journey.😘
Also, I understand completely. With my first breastfeeding was a breeze and lasted 20 months. With my son (my 2nd) I didn't get past 6 weeks because my supply just didn't come in enough. I tried everything and I felt like I was a failure 💔
Thank you for all the comments here. I feel like this not only helped me but so many other mothers in a similar boat. We’re not alone and this too shall pass. Doing my best to enjoy every waking moment with Saga and accept my circumstances. It’s a lot bigger than what I have mentioned and once I’m out of this hole I’ll definitely make a video about it. Until then, thank you boos for all the love and support. I’m so grateful for this community 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I love you 😘❤️ u are a mommy now
I don't know if anyone mentioned it, but if your milk duct is still clogged or if it happens again, try putting a warm (hot if you can handle it) towel on the affected breast, and then ask Max to massage the clogged duct. Also, you're both comfortable with it, you can ask him to try to suck out the clog.
I’m not a newborn / infant person either. In fact, I found the newborn stage to be incredibly hard but now that my son is 9 months, it’s so different. He is so much fun and I get pretty good sleep, and I know more and more as he gets more independent it’s going to get easier.
First 3 weeks of my daughter not latching was horrible. Never gave up, kept trying every day and finally it happened but I still had to supplement because my milk supply was low. She nursed for 6 months and that was it. It was so mentally exhausting but I am grateful that it worked out. You’re doing great Maya. We should be friends. We’re similar in age etc.☺️
I look back and think sh**.... I really did all this when I was 17 years old!! Here I am, 18 years later 34 weeks pregnant!! 😅 but absolutely in awe of my 17 yr old self. I think what helped me through those rough moments of chaos and uncertainty was the thought that it was only temporary. Next thing you know your baby is sitting up or walking, and then talking (eventually talking back to you sass and all lol) Then you find yourself reminiscing on the times you kissed their tiny hands and feet, and how when you cradled them in your arms and watched them sleep you didn't realize that one day you were going to miss that. All the love and blessing to your little piece of heaven and your beautiful family 💕❤
@@CocoLala84 right? Lol it's because we know what's coming, but it's so worth it ❤
@Mariah Fox 🥰
To all the new moms out there I have a suggestion for you. I’m a grandma for the first time and in the process of helping my daughter. What I wish someone would’ve told me (many years ago) when it comes to breastfeeding the first week, pump. The baby is learning to latch on and is not getting enough (hence the crying) and if you get engorged here comes the bloody nipples. So by pumping it helps the milk flow easier. Once you get to that point you will not have to pump as much. Hope this help. Blessings to you Maya, Max and Saga.
Not the best idea to just pump and use a bottle! Babies can develop nipple confusion and may not go back to the breast because they don’t want to work for the milk, they want the easy flow of a plastic nipple! It’s suggested to exclusively nurse the first 6 weeks so mom n baby learn their rhythm and all that comes with breastfeeding! It’s frustrating and bloody and painful and ….. HOWEVER it doesn’t last forever! Saga came into the world from a UTOPIC existence and now she along w mom n dad will learn one another! You will learn her cries, her personality etc… but it takes time! Enjoy the good, the bad and the down right ugly but most of all Enjoy the beauty that is new life, new family and lots of LOVE! It will get better I promise! Lay Doula, breastfeeding coach from across the waters in Philadelphia!!! Be well! 🙏🏽💟☮️😊☀️🥰🙏🏽
As a mother of 3 I would not suggest this also. Of course if the baby is hurting you use the lanlion oil and if it’s that frustrating pump but make pumping a last resort. The skin to skin contact and baby feels helps mamma to produce more milk. Also babies need to work your nipples to build strength that they do not build with a bottle. At the beginning before your milk comes in yes they only get a little bit that’s why you need the feeling of baby on nipple so that you are stimulated to produce enough milk. Persistence leads to success here.
@@Qetesh777 interesting, so they are not building any strength with a fake nipple versus a real one?
This is actually terrible advice. Moms please seek out a lactation consultant. You do not need to pump, you can hand express. There are videos on UA-cam on how to do it ❤️.
Can we all agree that when She uploads our days get better! 💖
Her uploads are like a text from a friend you haven't heard from in a bit... "She's good! Let's see what she's up to!"
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yes, she’s like sunshine in a bottle! ☀️🌻
Yes her face brightens my cloudy days
Facts
It definitely takes a village to raise a child(ren). So glad Max's family are near enough to offer help. ☺️🙏
Girl! Cry it out, shake it off. It's cool you're crying it out. Yo, I found my son to be so much fun when he started talking. You still have some levels to go. Enjoy all of the levels because they won't repeat.
I should be taking a nap or preparing dinner, but I’m on the verge of tears with how real this is! Currently a new mom to a 5 week old baby girl and I was not prepared. It does not matter how young or old you are, and how long you waited to have a child. I’m 31 and I have cried almost everyday since she came home from the hospital. Sometimes I feel bad that I feel so overwhelmed when I prayed to God for my beautiful, healthy baby girl. I constantly wonder if I am meeting her need as I breastfeed while trying to meet her emotional needs. The sleepless nights become stressful very quickly and I’m constantly buying new baby gadgets hoping it will remedy something, when all she really needs is me! I commend every mom out there, especially those that do it on there own. I’m so blessed to have my husband and our mothers who have showed up in more ways than I could have ever imagine. This is hard, no cake walk. Being with my newborn all day while on maternity leave, leaves me mentally and physically exhausted. The anxiety I felt for not being in love with her right away bothered me. Dealing with all these things while trying to recover from delivery and a huge shift in hormonal changes compounded with emotions you have never felt before is enough to make you go crazy. It’s just a lot, no one tells you and there is no amount of preparation for it. I know this is temporary, but i am leaning to take one day at a time and find the beauty in the process.
Sounds like alot of anxiety. Try to relax. You're doing great. U are enough! It's a blessing u have so much help!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!😍😍😍
No, we have not forgotten. Child birth is the ultimate sacrifice. And we should always be ready to congratulate our mothers and celebrate them on Mother's Day and do all that we can while they are here with us. Amen
Forget Mother’s Day. We should celebrate our mother’s EVERY DAY!
@@TreasureChest0806 The best comment ever!!
I will never forget the first time I ever broke out in hives all over was when I brought my son home for the first time from the hospital. Talk about stress! As well as bleeding and hurting nipples, lack of sleep, patience. . . I don’t miss those days at all but I do reminisce on the joys of when he was a baby.
Congrats to you and Max!
I already am beginning to miss when she was super tiny but not the stress! Which I’m only now getting out of
yep, my 1st two weeks of being a mother was stressful. I cried probably 18 hours of each day, little sleep, my daughter was not latching on properly, milk came in late, I had little help because I was not at home and went into labour earlier than expected, it was winter (I hate the winter) and she was bawling like crazy. I think may I have PTSD from that whole experience
@@sheenabullock6399 😂😂PTSD. . . Well said
Maya, it’s been 23 years since my last baby, but everything you’re going through is SOOOOO TRUE!!! I wish women would be more honest about their breastfeeding and motherhood journey. It’s no joke, but you’re so right about the moment you fall in love with your baby! The nights may be long, but years are short. She won’t be this way for long. Hugs!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
How now, you don't look a day over 30!
@@heroyster1194 girl I'm trying to figure this out as well!! 🤔😆
Same for me, my oldest is 27 now! I, too, wish more ppl would be honest about parenting instead of shaming us into hiding our emotions!
Some people aren't able to breastfeed, I wasn't able to, but that doesn't make you inadequate. There's a lot of pressure to breastfeed, but stay positive through your journey. You are doing great.
I agree, the baby will be fine on commerical formula.
@@seygra20 absolutely!
i love how real you are about newborns lmao
This authenticity is why I subscribed. We need more real talk.
So happy to see more moms on UA-cam. As a mother we need to support each other.
UA-cam has been my safe haven for all the drama I've been going through
@@shamelessmaya ❤️❤️
It is a constant learning process. They go through so many stages. My daughter is now a teen & man oh man...No one warned me about her mood swings.
Congrats once again Maya!! I have 4 kids, the youngest is 8 now. The advice I would give to you is that to remember you and your husband are a TEAM. Learn together so that you both become skilled in doing ALL the things for your daughter. Of course, one of you will be better at certain things than the other BUT you should both know how to do it well enough. When you are tired and stressed the last thing you want to do is waste time and emotional energy fighting over who is SUPPOSED to do what. Team work makes the dream work. ❤️🥰
People so underestimate how difficult the early days of parenthood is. You are so right that a solid relationship is so important and so is having family around you. Everything you're feeling is absolutely normal and you should never feel bad for feeling inadequate.
As I am on OG lol to this mom thing, as I have a 9 and 14 year old, I learned to be myself. I believe it was about 2-3 years ago and everyone always referred to me as "the boy's mom". It was almost like I lost my own identity because I threw myself 150% into being the best mom I could. But then all these years later when they are thriving and doing well, one in HS thinking about college, the lightbulb went off (that empty nest feeling). Oh snap, who am I without the boys, what do I like, hobbies etc. outside of the boys. So my advice, take that walk for yourself, work in the garden for yourself, whatever brings even 5 min of joy to you is good and it's OK. You're no less of a mother if you take some moments just for you. Sending love from the US (you got this!)
First 6 months were the hardest experience of my life hands down . I feel you.
I have 3 kids and I only successfully breast fed one. Don’t let the stigma of not breastfeeding make you feel less than. My two who wasn’t are just as healthy and smart as the one who I succeeded with. The first kid is more of us wanting to be the perfect mom and less about enjoying the journey. My first kid was the one who had it all. My third I learned to function with less and less expectations on myself. It’s a journey and everything that you are feeling is normal.
Omg MAYA!!! I have been a mama for 17 months…. And the rude awakenings are REAL!!! Didn’t expect so much childhood trauma to bubble up to the surface, God was like, you better deal with this!!! But I am SO thankful for my sweet baby son ❤️ he is the best thing to ever have happened to me And also, the reason why I barely have time for myself alone 😂 important for anyone but especially the introvert in me! I hope you have the support you need, I’m moving from the country (moved here to raise baby in covid) back to the city because I wasn’t around any of my friends or support peoples, and it was extremely challenging!!! Especially during Covid, he was born May 2020! Can’t wait to be closer to my people. Anyway, Stay blessed and sending so much love!!! ❤️
Awww, Maya. You’re amazing, not inadequate. Your support system will get you through this. Sending you positive vibes . 😌😌😌
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Congratulations mama!! I feel like postpartum is not talked about half as much as it should. It’s like you go from being worshipped as a pregnant woman to it ain’t about you it’s about the baby. And it’s a huge transition. You will get the hang of it and more comfortable every single day. We’re rooting for you!!! 🧡
My dad says that the inadequate feeling doesn’t going away… fellow first time parent..
THIS TRANSPARENCY is what we need in the world!!! I have never birthed a child, and I'm so grateful for this, Maya.
You are not alone. Mother of 3, went through the same experience, issue with baby latching on, clogged milk ducts, breast infections from trying to "do it all", tears, etc. Take care of you first. Take it easy because it is all about you and the baby needs her momma.🍼👶🏽
Awe omg, why did I start to cry when you cried..lol..my baby boy just turned 3 months and since the fall came hes been really congested and not feeling well so hes been super cranky because he cant get good sleep. So I'm getting hit hard hunty...I dont even know what sleep is anymore and breastfeeding is a whole other challenge..smh..so trust me you are not alone my love. Welcome to motherhood!🤗
Girl, wait till she becomes a toddler... you're gonn be like, take me back to her infant days, lol. You are doing great, mama! Never feel inadequate.Motherhood is very hard, but we thank God for the ability to adapt. God bless you and stay prayed up!
It’s the no for me 😆 every time I ask my youngest a question, her default answer is no. Like what??? Then she goes ohh yeah I actually want that 🤦🏾♀️ she’s a 3teen 😂 threeteen 😆
@@gigiajavon122 Girl😄tell me about it. I have a 3 year old boy…mine is the chase, I’m tired. I’m consistently chasing after him…too much energy for me😵💫
The newborn stage was so stressful 😭 I cried every other day lol so disliked it 🥺but my baby is 6 mths old now and it does get easier but motherhood overall is thee hardest job I EVER had. S/O to all the mamas ✨🙌🏾💕
Especially the single moms or dads. I’m not a mom but I listen to all of the stories .
It’s okay to cry Maya. I remember crying all the time. It’s an adjustment. Your life just changed forever. You’re so awesome and you’re going to have a loving journey with your baby….learning each other.
Maya!!! I’m 40 with a 10 month old daughter and 4 weeks pregnant lol. We’ve been through the same struggles. New mom, breastfeeding, family far away. And side note, I’m Blasian too 😂 Seriously let me know if you have questions or just need to scream. It’s often needed especially in the beginning. 💖
Thankful for sharing these honest and frank thoughts and experiences. More moms need to share that having a baby is a traumatic experience in a thousand ways!
I can relate Maya. I breastfed my first baby for only a few months because we never got into the swing of things. I pumped but then my milk supply dropped. It gets better honestly and by the time I had my second baby I was a pro because I learned so much the first time around.
I cried when you cried describing your breastfeeding experience because that was me. That time for me was the most challenging as well and family kept pressuring me to do formula instead, but I stood my ground and God blessed me to feed my son the way I wanted to feed him. Myles is 1 now and he is the most joyful baby I’ve ever known.
😭Awww totally the truth. The clogged milk duct had to be awful. So so sorry for you. This is why i have no tolerance for kids that are disrespectful to their mom. Thank you for sharing. 💝
It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to be stressed out. It’s ok to let your friend/family come over so you and your husband can sleep. I didn’t breast feed and if you are having a hard time with it give her a bottle. Don’t let the breast feeding shit stress u out!
We’ve had plenty of family from Max’s side come over. It’s just challenging times to travel abroad for my family and friends
Don’t encourage her to give up just because you did sis ( which is okay ) it gets easier maya and IF it doesn’t you did indeed try ! Breastfeeding is a beautiful/ hard journey that’s so worth it.
@@Vondelthomas YES!! It's work on the front end as well as an adjustment/ shift of paradigm. However, it gets easier!!!! Ya gotta crawl before ya ball!!!
There are guaranteed to be aspects of motherhood that can cause some stress. That doesn’t mean you should give up on something that’s worthwhile for your child.
@@weekend1rocks I didn’t say dont give the baby breast milk. She can pump and give a bottle. Not everyone can breast feed. I have a daughter and didn’t breast feed by choice and she is perfectly fine.
I’m in my second week of motherhood as a first time mom, your video is amazing. We aren’t alone! 💗 I feel like I’m taking things one day at a time and it helps me release anxiety a lot. Congratulations mama!
Aww my heart. Congrats! ❤️ I’m a new mom too. My baby boy is 6 months. It’s getting easier and more fun with time. It’s def still hard but to anyone reading this, you are not alone. Reaching out for help is the best thing you can do for you and your baby. It takes a village is not just a corny tag line.
Try using your baby Papoose or body sling to get more work done while she is awake. Talk to her about what you are doing. Tell her "our plans" for the day. Then if she falls asleep. After your workout. Lay down. This is not a marathon. if you are tired, lay down. Stay hydrated. Not sleeping is going to wear you out more. Which will cause other complications. I'm not a doctor. I just went through a lot of what you have sharing. You stay true, boo.❤❤❤
I second this message as a mommy. Everything you said is the truth.
What you are going through was me to the 10th power. I went through postpartum depression for at least two years. I had nerves to have another child 15 months later but she was much easier. Everything you are saying is bringing back memories. The worst for me was the lost of sleep. I can deal with anything else. It was so bad that all I wanted for my birthday was for my mom to keep my baby over night. The best gift I've ever had. One day, I was breastfeeding my son and fell asleep. When I woke up, my breastmilk was shooting out and my baby was trying to catch it. Lol. Oh my gosh, it was so hard and so beautiful at the same time. It's like waking up to a gift every day. It's like wondering how did life happen before him? I remember the first time I had a dream about him. I cried because a person that I never knew is suddenly so important to me. It's a roller coaster of emotions and I thank God for my two precious children who are grown with children of their own.
I loved this video! Maya is so real, especially about not falling in love with the baby immediately. That's totally normal but it's not spoken about as if it's taboo. Like "I don't know you, you don't know me" is a REAL thing. Yes, Maya! Thank you for being so honest and making it okay to feel the way we feel.
I had my first at 19 and then had three more kids throughout my 20's. And it's normal to not feel entirely connected at first, you're just getting to know them, the love and connection grows as time goes by. You're doing so well mama! *hugs*
awwww 😢😢 you’re never alone maya. ❤️❤️❤️ so many women go through the same things you’re going through. thanks for being transparent with this journey. 2 things that stood out to me was when you said
“i don’t know you, you don’t know me” & that you didn’t fall IN LOVE with saga until day 3. Many people feel like as soon as you give birth you have this overwhelming feeling of love, but it’s not always the case. A lot of moms go through major anxiety first before they can even fullly love. It’s the raw and uncut truth for me & the way u delivered it. That is appreciated.
I struggled with everything too. Breastfeeding, sleepless nights, arguments. Thanks for sharing your story.
You are completely right about feeling guilty about not being in love with your newborn. I love my son as a newborn but I’m obsessed with him as a toddler.
The newborn phase is not for the faint of heart. I didn’t think I was gonna make it out with my sanity in tact, but each milestone has its own challenges and man motherhood is so many lengths and depths of emotions but our little humans need us and there is nothing better than seeing the innocence of your child and giving them as much love and nurture we try to give, what a journey of love
My kids are 15 and 20 but I’m sure the new mommas out there sure appreciated this video and knowing they are not alone! Very thoughtful video!
I love that you fully expressed yourself and gave the raw truth. I felt the EXACT same way and went into postpartum depression with my son. I was so mad that no one really expressed the emotions of how hard it is to be a new parent, especially when you know nothing about babies lol You are doing amazing as is because you recognize like “Hey this is hard and I need help” ❤️ It will get better trust me and you will fall more in love with Saga! 🥰
Girl, you got this!!! Cry, scream, feel all the emotions but keep going your videos will help someone else ❤️
I'm a mom of 2 and I have a really really really really really hard time asking for help.. evening when I'm drowning. This has helped me, ty Maya ❤️
I was just rewatching your single “I don’t care about my frizzy hair” and dang near shed a tear! Look at how you continue to evolve and how beautiful your journey has been to watch and feel apart of. Congratulations on everything Maya, can’t wait to tag along on this next part of your journey!! (& btw, I’m still having bby fever even after watching 🙃)
Memory lane!
@@shamelessmaya you should make a video of you reviewing your old videos. You have come a long way from your shameless days!!
Motherhood to me has been constantly questioning if I am passing a test with no real study guide, its hard af with levels, also I felt detached from my son for the first month, like I took great care of him but definitely didn't feel the instant "in love " feeling at first. Looking back I definitely had the "baby blues" but those baby smiles definitely breaks that down quickly , YOU GOT THIS MAYA & MAX 💓
Yes, most if not all of us moms experience this. I know when I share advice with my pregnant friends, I am mindful of not influencing their journey with the trauma/negative things that happened during my new mama journey. But sometimes the truth just needs to be said. Motherhood is the hardest thing I've ever had to experience, but the most rewarding at the same time. Enjoy her little hands and feet because they won't be little anymore and you'll be missing those first moments.
You are not alone! My son is 8 months now, and the first 3 months were definitely the hardest. It feels like what I imagine being hazed is like! It does take time for you AND the baby to learn how to breastfeed. I had cracked nipples and was going through tubes and tubes of nipple cream (lanolin is the way to go!) I remember being in tears when my family would hand the baby to me to feed because it hurt so much. I did a virtual session with a lactation consultant because my doula said it shouldn't be painful after 6 weeks and it was. When I tell you that this lactation consultant said, "Put another pillow there and hold him up like this" and the pain stopped immediately....it was a whole new world! I was so upset that I waited so long to get help. You are doing a great job, and I'm so glad you're talking about all of this. I feel like the difficulties of post partum life isn't discussed enough.
So glad you’re reaching out for help and you have so much support around you
"Do you love me , Do you like me?!" Maya let me you... Your daughter is going to bring out elements in you, you didn't know existed. And your going to have so much fun on this journey. Saga has no clue how fun her mom is. You and your husband are going to do well raising her. ❤❤❤❤
Pour into yourself. Hardest lesson I had to learn. My daughter is two and I’m just now getting it.
If mama is not charged, nobody is fueled.
I swear it gets a lot better… you’re amazing and you’re doing better than you think 🤎
This video was much needed. My youngest is almost 3. But I remember the newborn days like it was yesterday. Went through very similar exerience with emotions and lack of help. But I am alos horrible at asking for help. I know now to befirend people who are parents and have gone through or is going through the pains of parenting. Cause most of my friends were not parents and Im pretty sure they were looking at me like I was crazy when I was so frustrated that I was only getting 3hrs sleep or less for MONTHS. I'm ranting.. thanks for a sharing your experience. I also had difficulties with breastfeeding my firstborn. But at around 6 weeks she finally latched. Don't give up. Keep trying each day. Ok Bye-bye now :)
Social media or even women in general will have you thinking motherhood is nothing butterflies and baby kisses. It’s amazing, I would not give it up for anything but it can suck as well! Breastfeeding was a nightmare with my first child and a breeze with my second. I always tell women to seek a lactation consultant immediately. Like Day 1, 2, and 3 and keep consulting.
Aww, Maya, you are the most beautiful, competent, inspiring, candid, capable, loving woman I am motivated by. I’ve watched you for almost five years and you’re a strong, empowering,inspiration blessed by God. We love you so much!❤️❤️❤️
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Oh my darling... You are enough. Saga is blessed to have you two and you are doing amazing. It's a marathon not a sprint, you'll both learn the ropes together
This is spot on! Ppl should definitely warn you about giving your partner grace in the midst of frustration.
Everyone's experiences are different.. Just keep telling yourself this to will pass. They grow up so fast so try to enjoy every moment. I remember my daughter smiling at my pink hair rollers, yes the look she gave me so precious. My youngest is 31 oldest 42 so enjoy those moments of nonverbal communication and loving glances.
Breastfeeding was so hard and painful for me too, and honestly I've never enjoyed it. But I wanted to do it so badly for my little girl that it worked out in the end. You will succeed if you really want to, so don't give up ! After a month, I got used to it, and I was able to breastfeed her until she turned 20 months ! I am proud of what I've accomplished, but I'm glad this chapter of my life is over 😅.
When I gave birth at 21, I was a happy, in awe new mother. However, I was unbelievably terrified dressing my new baby to take home from the hospital. That first week I called my doctor every day with questions. He was so sweet, he sent a visiting nurse to our home to show me how to handle a newborn. Breastfeeding was unsuccessful due to cracked nipples. Since he nursed every hour on the hour, he’d fall asleep during feeding. I had to thump his foot to keep him awake. What he really wanted was a pacifier, so when the milk came, he would feed for a minute aggressively, then stop only to gently suck so no milk would come. And he would clamp down when I tried burping him. You get the picture. Hilarious! No one told me you had to prepare your nipples for breastfeeding. This was back in 1966☺️ You have a village. Healthy to feel the feelings....and you’re doing awesomely!
Mom to an almost two year old, first time mom btw and almost 39y/o. Things people don’t tell you. 1. The love builds, is not like Cupid. The intensity grows. 2. Hot flashes due to hormonal changes. I had no idea, I had a new born a using a fan in the winter (poor baby) because I was hot and thought the room was too hot foe my baby too. 3. Holly emotions that crashed and I was crying for that first week 4. You will inevitability fight with your partner about baby stuff, lack of sleep spells irritability and middle of the night bickering 6. Post c-section sex was painful for me and many women, for months. Doctor said it was hormonal too. 7. Baby brain last months, even years to some. This means forgetting simple things but also hard to focus at work
I can relate as a mom of 3 base in Italy no mama no family no one is only me and hubby, I can say is an amazing journey
Becoming a mom is tough, and I remember 9 yrs ago feeling overwhelmed and a bit sad. There's no book to prepare you for the fact that everything changes, but it will get better. You'll get into a routine, and you'll find your new 'flow'. For breastfeeding, add fenugreek to your diet-it helps with milk flow. Be sure to also not let the milk build...pump it out if you have to...to avoid getting engorged. You got this!
Aww love, I struggled for over a month breast feeding my daughter and struggled months in when I had to go back to work! It’s NOT easy but stick to it! You’re amazing!!!
I love that you uploaded this video. I went through all of that as a single mother and I felt inadequate as well. I felt like crying every single day. I got so stressed out that I also broke out in hives 😩 I’m slowly getting the hang of it every single day. Thank you for being so transparent 😊
MAYA I FEEL YOU! I think especially as a first time mum we feel so inadequate at times for the littlest things, and the hormones making you cry all the time just doesn't help! But I realised that its a normal path that we have to go through and that ultimately it helps us learn and and helps you be stronger as a mum and as a woman!! WE ARE SO STRONG!
Thank you for sharing. All that you said is so true. When I became a mother I wasn't in love with my child. It came maybe few days after. Breastfeeding was hard too. I was not spleeping enough and I had so much things to do. I taught "my god this is so difficult, how do the other women do ?!". I am impressed you are still making video. You rock ! It's gone be easier with time you just have to try sleeping the more you can and keep being so comprehensive with Max. It's is not easy for good men to answer our expectations and maybe you will have some arguments during the next months but the key is to try to manage time alone when baby is older and you feel comfortable to leave her with family. Those moments alone helps a lot!
This video is spot on !!! Anyone expecting take notes it a beautiful process of growth and evolution but its no joke.. being a new parent is very very hard emotionally, mentally and physically ,just always remember there is light at the end of the tunnel and your babies are totally worth it in the end
I needed this honesty. I’m 7 months FTM and I’m worried about breast feeding. So I’m now going to look up a class. Thank you.
THANK YOU for speaking on the toll being a new parent takes on your relationship.I am a new mom of a 2 month old baby boy and my husband and I also got on each other's nerves, because your patience as a new parent is pretty low. It is also important to address the issue with your partner, which is something we did and it helps you both because you realize you are both feeling the same emotions and you are both aware of the changes.
Once you overcome it it's hard to give the emotion because you realize you survived it. You've healed the emotion by that time. It does and will get better ❤️
When you started to tear up i just wanted to hug you 🥺💕 thank you for always being so honest
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This is soooo relatable! I think the thing about those early postpartum days is that it's hard to convey what it's like; you just have to experience it. The combo of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual upheaval all at once is just !!! There were definitely physical surprises, but what I really wasn't prepared for were the so-called "baby blues." I thought I was supposed to be overjoyed and so in love and instead I experienced what felt like grief. It's so disorienting. My girl is 18 months old now and I still look at her and think, "OMG I'm her mom" and I fall in love with her more everyday. It's still challenging but has gotten so much better. Especially now that I'm getting more sleep!
I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. Not my first but my first in 13 years, and I am struggling!! There’s no nice way to put it. Breastfeeding for the first time and it’s so hard. No one ever says how hard it is! Thank you for sharing your journey! It’s so easy to feel alone ❤️
I am not a mother and I'm 100% sure that motherhood is extremely hard!!! It's not just about pregnancy, delivery and the first months with your newborn: it's the ultimate lifetime commitment to another human being.
You are not inadequate momma Maya! You are enough and you have an abundance of love for your sweet baby girl.
Been there. I know that feeling. No books can teach you how to be a Mom and breastfeeding. OMG. Both my breast were in-gorged for about 2 days. I was in pain. I had a screaming newborn. I was sleep deprived and crying myself. Once my milk started flowing, I was so relieved. It got easier. I had the best support network of family and friends. I feel for you. You’ll get thru it. I commend you and all Mom’s. It’s not easy, but so worth it. 🤗
It is a must that you sleep when she sleeps. If not, you will deplete yourself and just feel overwhelmed. As for the relationship, baby and hubs, there will be major ups and downs!! Therapy will be your friend. I didn’t go to therapy until it was too late, I was sinking in depression and feeling inadequate as a parent but had to wear the “I’m good, I’m strong, I got this” mask. There’s so much I can type. I was a single mom for 17 years and then married in a blended family for 10. Motherhood is HARD!!! I’m finally an empty nester but sh*t is real!! Salute to all the moms with adult children, we made it baby!!
Thank you for your honesty in this video 🥰 I am on my journey to having another child and for the most part I think I have forgotten the worst of it but that screaming tiredness combo actually almost made me loose my mind the first time 😩 I think we need to normalise authentic honesty when speaking about new motherhood because if I had known that babies will cry for all reasons all of the time I may have managed my expectations more effectively. videos like these help! thank you, get sleep when you can!💕
You're totally on point with this. You are not alone. There should be more emotionally honest vids like this 😊
Your still glowing 💜
A Mother love and security always comes thru once a child is born.
Maya! Your truth! More women need to be this transparent. My son just turned 3 and this is the best age so far. My God. He is like my little homie now but that baby stage...I'm good.
Woman are to hard on themselves! My cousin helps woman with this! Be encouraged thank God u are experiencing motherhood
Aw everyday Saga gets older! That’s the awesome thing! 😂 I have 3 and the youngest is 21 months. This too will be a beautiful chapter in the memory journey. Be kind to yourself babes
Preaaaaaaaaaach! I have twin toddlers (2.5) BUT when I had them I felt exactly the same. The mom guilt is BRUTAL it triggered anxiety and depression (never had depression in my life until I had babies). I didn’t feel connected “bonded” to them even though I loved them with all my heart. It was the oddest and craziest feelings. Maya please remember your hormones are out of whack- you will feel better as time passes! It will get easier as time passes. You got this 💪🏼
For me labor is easy. Its the first two trimesters of pregnancy. I suffered with H.G my second and third pregnancy. Third baby didn’t make it😔. God bless you🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I couldn’t produce enough milk and gave up breastfeeding, wish I didn’t because both my girls didn’t take well to formula.
You are so right, inquiring about the emotions of new mothers, I never saw it that way. Full transparency and always allow yourself grace.
It's totally ok to cry and go through all the emotions. I have been through all this too and things they don't tell you or find on the internet and have to process and be present at the same time can be a lot! like A LOT! I am so glad to know you have help. I've watched your journey and am genuinely happy for you and your new family. I am anew mom myself of a 2 year-old beautiful girl and besides all the bads we go through, the love that we feel is just incredible!
You're doing great mama. Always trust your gut! Sending hugs and light!
Girl you are more than adequate. I had the same problem with breastfeeding. I had to feed a new born who cried 24/7 and sucked my bleeding nipples. One thing I have to say, it will get better, hand in there momma! Saga is precious😍. You rock!
Given that this is your experience, could you imagine what single moms without support from the child's father or family go through, especially in the US where maternity leave is not mandatory. Count your blessings. Single moms really deserve a medal.
Yes! I feel all of this. First week of motherhood here but so thankful for the community of others who let me know what I'm feeling is normal.
Beautiful Maya your transparency and truths are beyond amazing! You inspire so many just because of how you bare it all and I am grateful for women like you! Everything you shared was soooo on point!!! There is no exact manual nor book not even advice to motherhood especially first time moms. Not to mention life in general just as motherhood is not one size fits all. Breastfeeding is a challenge for many first time moms and I like yourself was one. When our son first started it was painful like no other pain. I yelled out so loud and grabbed the pillows that were next to me. Eventually it became easier but the process was challenging not to mention having to experience engorged breast milk that no one had told me anything about. Lol 😂 I was researching day and night as well as watching videos to gain more knowledge on navigating through it all. Thank God for the people He blesses us with at the exact time we need them. Your tribe will understand and offer all the support you need. So true about the emotional roller coasters and changes we have to go through during the process but in the end it all pays off as we find the time to appreciate those small moments like self care which is extremely important as mothers even fathers in order to be able to operate at our best capacities. My husband shared some great advice with me when we became first time parents…”Remember to care for your temple just as much as you sacrifice for others. If you fall apart then so does your foundation.” I learn to take everything one day at a time and if all doesn’t get done then it’s ok because there’s always tomorrow. Even God rested and we have to listen to our mind and bodies. You are doing your absolute best boo so congratulate yourself even those moments in which you feel overwhelmed, inadequate or not worthy. I had many of those moments and they are there even as we raise our kiddos up. My grandmother use to tell me that as a mother the feelings of not doing enough is part of the package but instead shift the atmosphere by finding the best in what we are able to do. If not take a shot of something and keep it moving lol 😂 cause nothing is ever perfect. There’s beauty for those ashes. Trust me those days are very real and they also pay off because its your personal woman battlefield scars as our daughter calls mine. They teach us that we Overcomers and designed for so much. Through every tear, sleepless night, diaper changes, frustrations, all of it we become and unfold into the phenomenally made woman you are to be. Saga is beyond blessed and she will know that simply by all the sacrifices you have choosen to make for her and the life you want to give her. Bravo 👏🏼👏🏼 to you and Max for all you do!! Blessings and love. 🤍🙏🏼
Girl you preaching to the choir! My son is 4 months and it is soo much harder than I imagined. I felt the same way with my husband, he was doing everything around the house however there is still so much more to do! Y'all got this. It's worth it.
OMG YOU ARE SUCH A MOM! CONGRATS I LOVE ALL OF THE REAL FEELINGS. You are giving me everything that a mom goes through and let me tell you the journey will continue and will only make you stronger. It's a beautiful process. Let go of what everyone else says you will experience and Be present in your own experience. Give yourself time, be patient, and you and Max will be the best parents. None of us know what we doing. I don't care how many "how to" You Tube Videos you watch. We all are doing our best. Peace & Light
Awww Maya it will get better. Trust yourself and give yourself grace. You and Max are raising a whole human, it’s scary , it’s hard and it’s the best thing you will ever do. Saga is shameless 2.0. She will be strong, fierce, soft, kind, a leader and an excellent addition to this world. You and Max got this. Lead with love, patience and friendship. Looking forward to this new journey.😘
Also, I understand completely. With my first breastfeeding was a breeze and lasted 20 months. With my son (my 2nd) I didn't get past 6 weeks because my supply just didn't come in enough. I tried everything and I felt like I was a failure 💔