Testimony!! My mom was a divorcee with 4 children!!The woman that Mr Tony described who is about her business and kids was my mom to the tea!! So calm, kind, ambitious and beautiful inside and out. And guess what , when she wasn't looking. That's when she met my stepfather. That man had to deal with 4 kids who were royal to their father and it wasn't easy but guess what, he didn't give up and he was always patient! 15 years later and we all just a big happy family . So single mothers never settle, good men are still out there❤❤
Poor guy. Dating single parents is a nightmare. No one hopes and dreams to come along and solve the lengthy, burdensome mess a woman made with her womb. No one really wishes to put up with multiple children who are “loyal” to the man that used to screw their woman. Ladies, for the sake of everyone involved, please stop spreading your legs to men you don’t belong with. Stop giving multiple children to trash men. NOBODY WANTS TO DEAL WITH THAT MESS, not even the children.
My mom was married to my father for 10 years before they got divorced, so whatever you're insinuating does not apply to my family. And even if it did, everyone makes mistakes and that's why everyone came to this platform to grow. Choose your words wisely!! Peace and love!
@Joyful n Blessed I agree but I think what people are saying if you have kids by different men typically three or more are not “ desirable” (which I disagree to an extent) it could be the same for a man who has Kids by different women
All my relationships before my child was horrible. I put up with such bs for so long. Once I had my daughter I finally stop allowing the wrong people around me because my daughter safety and just over all mindset is what matters! Never have had a man around her and don’t plan on it unless it’s leading to marriage. I also don’t let just anyone babysit her.
Thank God for you. I wish women did that all over the world. I don't play bout my kids either. No one can be around my kids unless it's a serious relationship
How do you deal with co parenting with the child’s father , Once he starts a new relationship and you don’t even know the women or her intentions with your daughter ?
@@Esme8888888 my child’s father is inconsistent so anytime my daughter sees him I’m there. He doesn’t always like it but for the longest time he wouldn’t tell me little information like his address! Or let me know who she would be around. So in return he couldn’t take my daughter alone unsupervised. When my daughter gets older than maybe that will change. I personally wouldn’t leave your kid with alone with anyone who you don’t trust. But if u trust the father than hopefully he doesn’t have the wrong women around your child.
As a woman who have kids, I find value in knowing people want what they want. If you having kids is something a man don’t want, that’s ok. Every person (even me) can choose what they want. That does not take away anyone’s value.
Yes! Listen. My mother's boyfriend when I was 16 years old tried to hit on me and when I told her. Her response was "Why would he want you? Because she was desperate to be with a man! I don't deal with her now!! and I am 50 years old. Single Moms don't compromise yourselves.
I was in middle school when a girl mama KICKED HER OUT OF THE HOUSE at 13. She chose her man over her daughter. I was shocked and numb the rest of the day.
Being a single mom is definitely hard and challenging but unless you meet a real man with good character and intentions, who will care, respect and make everything more beautiful for you, you don't need anyone clouding your days and taking time and energy away from your already busy life while giving nothing valuable in return. Being alone is hard, but feeling lonely while in a relationship is the hardest.
So what exactly do YOU have to offer and contribute to a man’s life as a single mother who will inevitably expect him to generously yield his resources to another man’s seed?? What I hear from a lot of single parents is “Me, me, me!! My child, my child, my child!!!” If you chose to throw off the natural order of things and reduce you and your offspring’s lives to struggle love then you need to realize how less of an appealing package you’ve become.
@@tricks2564 So then why is it that so many people find dating single parents to be a miserable experience? Why was there a study showing that stepparents, both male and female, are some of the unhappiest people alive? It is not an uncommon occurrence by far. Have you ever considered that “handling your family” is too tall of an order. If it’s a common theme that people find “handling your family” to be too taxing then maybe you need to consider if your self-focused entitlement has produced an inability to be a satisfying partner who can create a healthy, well functioning household that includes a legitimate family unit. I hold my standards of capabilities much higher than “What can I do for a man’s leftover family?” Requesting that your leftover family become the centerpiece of a new person’s life is beyond selfish.
Single ladies; life is short. Please do not reduce your purpose, passions, and capabilities to that of “What can I do for a man’s broken, leftover family?” As a non-free therapist, you are under no obligation to appease and cater to the every emotion and thought of single parents and their offspring. They created that mess and THEY need to be the ones ensuring that their foolishness doesn’t minimize and lower the amount of peace in your life. Everyone knows that dating single parents is usually a chaotic, hectic mess; too many of them expect a new partner to come along and clean it up for them.
When my daughter was two years old I had a man living in my apartment years ago abusing and fighting me etc. My daughter saw what he was doing to me and she told him to leave me alone. And I will NEVER forget that as long as I live,she was a toddler/baby at that time and she said it in her baby speach,she was like👶🏽🍼"LEAVE MY MOMMY ALONE?!"😢😭I get emotional sometimes when I think about it and it happened years ago. Now she's a teenager and I have NEVER put a man in her life since.
@@MichelleNagir Yes because there are some women who NEVER learn. My Mother is still with her Abusive Husband aka my father. Till this day she and he want to Emotionally Abuse me and Guilt trip me. I don't want any part of them in my life. I am a single mother trying to start my own business w no help of theirs. Happy & Thriving they are NO LONGER in my presence to bring me.down or oppress me. Lmao funny thing they don't know I went to school during the Pandemic and I am starting my own Business. Amen!
My child’s biological father did the same. He started yelling at me out of anger and desperation and my son reacted similarly, he told his father to stop and ran in between to hug me.. He was just 3 years old. That image is engraved in my mind. 😭🥺
This man tried to talk to me about sexual market value. Not much older than me but balding, over weight, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetic. SIR lmao....don't let these men try to make you feel bad about being a mom. It's all about your confidence.
Listen to Tony and protect your kids! My mom brought all kinds of men around us. As a result we witnessed domestic violence, drunkenness, and constant fights to name a few. I always hated when she had a “new” man because I felt ignored. I just wanted my mom. Before you choose someone make sure they're interested in being a positive part of your child's life. What they see you do, they will most likely repeat. I wrote about my experience in my book called Love Yourself First, and now I help other women learn about relationships and self-love. Thanks Tony!💕
My daughter is 14 now, and I have absolutely no plans to date until she graduates high school, if ever. I am working on me, and my three B's. I'm going back to college this fall to get my Bachelor's Degree in psychology. After that, I plan to continue, and get my PhD in psychology. I also plan to become a certified personal trainer. I have so much to do to work on me, that I have no time and no desire to date for a long long time. I'm happy right now being alone. And it took me a long time to be able to say that.
Truth. We have to pay more attention to the red flags. 1st flag or the barely sighting of a red flag. I'm done. It will be monthsssssss and years before a new man even meet my child. In that time, I'm praying for discernment. Kids are the TOP priority. They watch everything we do. I'd rather be single and alone then to jeopardize the mental/physical well being of my child all for the sake of a no good man that's only there for HIS benefit.
May God bless single parents everywhere. My parents were married and roughly 3 years in my father reverted to a grown boy, they had 7 children 6 of us female around 8-9 year mark they separated and my mother remained single until her death because our safety was her highest priority. There’s some headaches we all can do without and turn back the hands of time.
That seems very common in the older generation, especially if the moms were married. A friend in college had 8 siblings, 7 of which were by the same father, the oldest had a different father. The mom had been married to the men she had 8 children by. Once he left, she didn't pursue any other relationships. To this day, almost 40 years, she has not been in a relationship although her kids were all adults 20 years ago...My great aunt hasn't been with a man in over 50 years, and she's 85!
My grandma the same. After she left my granddaddy. She never entered a relationship even now. She will go to her grave…. Idk how she did it or doing it. Ppl today are not about to do that. So sleeping around will continue or dating for marriage
So your mother died without eve getting to experience true love or lifelong companionship. And you think that mess was “cute” because in the end, you were put first?? She should have never been spreading her legs to such a a man so many times to begin with. I pity her.
I don't have an issue with attracting men as a single mom. Coz thanks to Tony he helped me confirm what I suspected which is we can't afford to think less of ourselves. That said my problem was once I had a man's attention, giving out desperate vibes easily flowed. Working on myself now.
That’s a great point Tony about us raising our kids to simply shut up. I remember when I was in elementary school I was super outgoing but my grandma gave me a complex about it and always said I talked to much and that I just need to be quiet. I ended up internalizing that and when I got to middle school I became withdrawn and antisocial because I thought the world felt the same way that my grandma felt. Now that I’m older and have my own business, I finally broke out of that shell, but it took years. We need to instill confidence in our children.
I had the exact same experience, but my grandma was telling my dad to beat it out of me and that me being outgoing was a sign of disrespect. Come to find out, my grandma really had a problem because she was jealous of my mom so she took it out on me because I reminded my grandma of her. I got back to a better place, but I had to cut off my father’s side of the family to get there.
Wow my grandma was toxic in a lot of ways also. Definitely have to be careful who is around your children, even if it is close family. I wasn’t even around her every day or even every month but I still remember a lot of the negativity and stress I experienced around her.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I wouldn't even say if something was wrong with my health until it got to be extreme. I overheard her say how she always had to take off work. How high the bills were. Lost work meant lost money. Honey I take my child to the doctor for everything. They be sick of me!
Tony, this message needs to be developed into a course and put in a parent training class. All I'm gonna say is I used to work in foster care and you would be shocked at how casually some women view their children and what predators men can be. The other scenario of men being the single dad probably happens also but I did not see that situation often. Also I had a non black speech therapist tell me that African American parents speak to their children in the command form. Meaning they shout/dictate commands at their children instead of instructing/communicating with them. This effects every aspect of their development. Although I never heard it expressed like that before, I listened. However that night while at the supermarket I observed it first hand. "GET OVER HERE, GO OVER THERE, SHUT UP, PUT IT BACK! Not to mention all of the "F" bombs that are dropped. As the child gets older they don't see you as someone they can talk to because you didn't talk you shouted.
Definitely never remain with a man who proves low-character or that he doesn't love you or your kids, be it their own father or not. Kids are not happier if their parents stay together "for their sake" instead of breaking up because they have to spend years witnessing bad behaviour, abu*e, injustice or even seeing you unhappy, that is bad enough and these will alter the way they perceive the world forever, their attitude towards life, self-esteem, confidence, adult decisions, choices and relationships. I know because i am one of those kids.
I had my child at 17 i take care of him and I love him and if I didn’t have my child at that time God knows where I would be I was going down the wrong path and I felt like I didn’t have a reason to live and his dad was abusive to me… but the day I laid eyes on my baby that’s when reality set in a harsh reality I needed to live for my son.
I discovered recently blocking can bring a great relief cos I hardly used the button thinking it shows I’m too mean but hey! It’s the best medicine to focusing on only quality people in life.
For everyone in comments saying sorry, thank you but what you can do and is tell other single moms to stop bringing shitty men into their children’s lives. That would save a lot of headache
You were a non-stop reminder of her life with another man. 🤷🏽♀️ And you were hogging her resources, attention, and time. Blame your mother for creating you out of wedlock; she shouldn’t have had an uncontrollable crotch. Everyone else suffered because she didn’t have a disciplined vagina.
I feel like when men see an ex wife they respect that mom more. When a man sees you made the same choice with knowing a guy wasnt trying to be with you nor married,then they do look down on you. Alot of women need to learn to wait. Too many women make their kids uncomfortable in the name of companionship. Those same parents then want to spoil the grandkids of the kids they let get dogged out. Like maam you skipped a whole generation to love.
I kinda disagree if you have one kid or kids by one man( or by 2 different guys) I don’t think guys really look down on women unless the guy the woman has kid a kid/kids with have multiple baby mothers and she became baby mom number #3/4/5/6 or if the guy is immature But I will say this cause I seen a video on this topic men look down on women who have kids by different men ( 3 and up) who she wasn’t married or wasn’t married to that long ( less than 4 years) really tho more than 3 men look down upon women like that
You are 100% right. Creating an out of wedlock child in this day and age with so many contraceptives just looks irresponsible, foolish, and/or shady like the woman was trying to trap the man.
@@indigobricks7442 you cant trap a man who doesnt wear protection. But its foolish to do the same thing multiple times even in a relationship if there is no sign he wants to marry you.
He’s so right, that happened to my mums family and it tore them all apart. Suicide, drug abuse, estrangement. It’s terrible, protect your kids. No mans worth that.
It’s hard for women with or without kids to meet a quality man. Many BW settle and marry unworthy men which results in misery but hey they’re married right. What I’ve learned is if God has a mate for you then it will happen in his time. Rest in that no matter what you’re situation is. If you are a mother God will send you a man who will love your kids and adopt (not even taking about legally but in the spirit) them as his own. That takes a real grown man to step up to that. Please stop basing your value on other’s opinion. If a man says he doesn’t want to date you because you’re a mom then he’s not for you. Once you truly understand your value you won’t care. Keep working on becoming the best version of yourself. Most of us desire companionship and I’ve learned to lay that desire at the feet of Jesus. I’d rather get tired of being alone than be miserable in a relationship/marriage. And when you have children you certainly don’t want your children to be negatively impacted by a unhealthy relationship.
I did not date for several years while my children were young because I felt that the most important thing I'll ever do is be their mother, so that came first. Plus.... the thought of handcuffs and prison time were becoming a bit too appealing to me in light of finding out one of my babies had been molested. Because this momma does not play about hers. Thanks again, Mr. Gaskins!!!
Don't ever compromise your priorities ladies! If he talks smack about those priorities, or tries to divert you from them, then he is not the husband that will add to, nor benefit your life!
I was/am one of the ones that waiting until my son was off to college before dating. Abstinent for 18 almost 19 years. My son is Christian, smart and my gift. In other words my sacrifice was well worth it. It may not be for everyone, but it is a Blessing to me. 🙏🏾😊💜🕊🕊🌷🌹🌹
This so true.I'm blessed single mom now,Instead of being with my kids father who lied,cheated,abuse me over the years.I'm so happy now,sicken people out here,so don't trust people around my kids.
I totally agree with your message in this video. Put your child first and work on yourself we have to take care of our blessings (our children) 🥰👶🏽👱🏼♀️👨🏼🦱🤱🏼🙇🏿
Gosh Tony I wish I would have known about your channel years ago before I entered the relationship with my son’s dad and became a single mom. But I’m grateful I atleast know it now thank you for all that you do .
And this goes for kids that are grown too. I am 42 and an empty nester. My sons are 23 and 21 and on their own. But I had a grown boy tell me I don't have what he wants. And I'm like cool. This man has six baby mothers, no place of his own, he has a good job but just got out of a long-term relationship that he never married this woman. So I lost nothing! He tried to tear me down. I am a government employee of 9 years, I have my own brand that I'm trying to build plus different side hustles. And just an insecure little boy
Yes, definitely. I have 3 teens girls and 2 younger boys. We are so busy all the time. I have been single for years. I will gladly wait until my kiddos are out of the house. I'm building myself in the meantime.
There are a lot of single parents who seem to be entitled and expect partners to accommodate the mess they have made. The world does not orbit around your broken family.
Yes, I totally agree with you. I waited until my girls were grown then I started dating. I felt it was the right thing to do. I know some women don’t like to be alone but our children come first! like you say our kids are number one priority. My daughter’s like mom you need man now lol
These kids have so much wisdom we can learn from them too. I ask my daughter her opinion on things. I do have to remind her to stay respectful she gets the bluntness from me😂
I'm a single mom of an amazing 7 yr old son I was just talking about this topic to him a few days ago, I said for it's just us and that's ok, I refuse to have just any guy around my son and I when I saw I'm not with the BS, work, a recent MBA grad, working on my PhD I be like a man got to come correct stepping to me, I've allowed in my past to let men use me but it's a different story once I set rules, standards and boundaries, so I'm okay being alone bc I got God on my side, amen amen amen got to love yourself first..xoxo
I'm a single mom of 4. I like companionship like most, but you ain't got to live in the same house as myself and my babies for that! I've learned that over the years.
Agreed and great message coach. Personally, my son is a gift and it’s just not worth it. In my case my son has already gone through his dad dying. I’m definitely not putting him in a position where I have blinders and my child is put in a position of trauma. Ever. Pray for God to double down on given wisdom and discernment . We are worth it no matter what. Our children are worth it. Dive into working on ourselves, making sure our children are top priority everything else will in fact get in where OR if it fits in. 💙
I have been a single mom for a year because I’m divorced. Im blessed to have people in my life to not allow me think that bc im a single mom im less than. I immediately changed my attitude from being rejected to preparing for special selection. I speak that im in the position & preparation phase because I know God will fulfill my desires of having a godly husband one day and remarriage. My kids keep me super busy and I’m never lonely or bored. Im thankful for the wisdom Tony speaks along with the wisdom from my counsel. Patience. The right mindset. Healing. Preparing & Positioning 🙏🏽❤️
I don't leave messages for any UA-camrs, but thank you, Tony. I hurt when these hurt grown boys LIE to women. It's a manipulative tactic. Women are precious gems at all AGES, with or without children, big or small, dark or light. A woman's value never changes..
Thank you for your wisdom, advice and respect you express to single mothers. I gave struggled with this for such a long time to the point its eating me up. I took so much comfort in listening to this. You’re truly a good person Tony. God bless you and your family.
At the end of the day what's for YOU is and will be for YOU! Whether you have kids or not the man God has for you is already yours. While society's perception of single mothers (especially for Black Women) can be very low. I personally have seen great examples of single mothers finding love and marriage after becoming single mothers. So it is not far fetched. Lastly, I 1000% agree with Tony about raising our children to be confident (especially our daughters) and to speak their mind respectfully. We HAVE to raise the next generation to be better than us and better than our parents' generation ❤
Thank you so much❣️Everything you said is spot on with every situation in my life. It’s like God’s speaking to me. Thank you Tony for letting him use you. You are appreciated and loved❤️
At this point I'm genuinely content with just my son. I have no desire to date right now. However, best believe when I'm ready, I'll be fiercely protecting my son 'cause there are some real monsters out here. Shoot, husbands kill their own kids. To be so desperate for scum that you'd allow them to treat your child any old way is really sad......for the child.
When you’re out there again, don’t share you have a child . Make sure he loves you for who you are, not what you have to offer him or let him judge you for being a mom. It’s best to just explain later that you were being safe . Until they prove themselves to you , don’t say anything. Don’t let them meet him until you are sure it’s leading to marriage.
Tony, you seriously are one of my favorite mentors to gain information from! You present serious topics in a light hearted and hilarious manner! I love your honest and no nonsense approach!
I appreciate you Mr Gaskin, you are truly a gift sent from God. You are truly blessed and highly favored. Thank you for sharing your gems! May God continue to bless you and your family
Hey Tony, I read that article/book a few years ago, about how the parents talk to their kids about dr visit. It changed my parenting. It was a research article from the 70s or something but yes you are right we have to start teaching our kids how to build self confidence and esteem-trusting themselves and feeling as though they can speak up when they are harmed.
Good video today. Even for widows with kids. Raise your child first before you do anything else. That child will see that having a man wasn’t your priority they were. That’s the least you can do. The world is bad enough. Protect their now and their future.
Thanks Tony. Your parents instilled or you have learned extremely valuable values of life, Parenthood, manhood. That example you gave is what I needed to hear.
Well said. Every time a question popped up that I wanted to ask, you answered it later on the video. Thank you for your insight and words. I feel much better being a single parent and understanding why God had me in the season of singleness
Walk in your purpose and stay true to yourself and it will work out the way it’s supposed to. I’m a single mom of 2 and I am my first priority and my kids come next. I have no regrets! I have faith!
This was a great one TG... Exactly why I try not to dwell so much on being single. I have 3 children whom are my priorities and relationships can be so complicated, especially with children. The ideal man would definitely have to be open to how unpredictable my days can be. Until the right one comes along, I'll continue to be single.
Please lay out the appropriate boundaries for a stepparent when another person’s kid is leeching off of their resources, sequentially impacting the amount of money available for their retirement fund, savings account, vacations savings, and any other vital investments?? Children need to stay in a child’s place. If you are a visitor in someone else’s home; you abide by their rules. Mommy and Daddy’s forever broken relationship should not change those facts. The delusional idea to “love them like they’re your own” isn’t forced on stepchildren.
I'm from Russia and my mom told me to listen people and do what they want and I listened. I was raped and can not say them A WORD. I was humiliated all the time everywhere. I'm 26 y.o. single mom now, he was married because I thought that I didn't deserve good single man. Now I'm figuring out my life with your help. Waiting till my baby will 2. And when I be ready for new relationships. You're like my father. Thank you!🙏👏🙌
So true as they kids get older.. they get scared to ask questions even seeing something on a bank statement getting ripped off Right mute. Them.. scare them to ask question as we get older we developed into our personality but still how our parents suppress us... my brother driving around in Arizona 115 degree no air-conditioned car it broke.. he didn't wanna bother ppl or think its expensive he has the money but won't say nothing.. until he came home all red w no air.... how the hell u driving w no air.... he doesn't know how to even ask basic questions for car loans or credit or making a doctor appt. Nothing when I watched my self on video as a kid I always asked questions talked a lot and it drove my mom crazy she even tones me out now It's said we can repeat something 4x abd she acts like she doesn't know
As a soon to be divorced single mom for a second time. I'm not worried bout nothing these men talkn bout...they hve always had something to say about my parenting or behind my back about my children how my daughter runs me and I've had men be jealous of our relationship and now I have a young son who I want to respect me and know that his mother is not a hoe and a real woman so I refuse to parade me in and out of my life and if Tony said in a prior video they could just be Uncle Cliff until we get married if we even make it that far there's no way I'm going to start rearranging all these things jumping through and over Hoops for someone that's not doing it for me a and furthermore I am working on myself to be the best version of me that I can be and a man should compliment you not be your centerpiece, what is he doing to accommodate or rearrange or sacrifice for you it just comes back to treat me like you want to be treated and we will be alright but one thing I have noticed is that these men are really hung up on the whole cooking thing and since I have been single for the last past year only having to cook for myself and my son I make very small meals and I really don't miss making these 3-course meals three times a day nor do I feel like it is a requirement for me to be desired as a good woman so I may be single for awhile only God knows but my plate is full with improvements that I'm going to make in my life so I plan to be so fulfilled with everything else that if and when a man comes it will just fit but Tony I really appreciate this video it was definitely something that needed to be addressed
Testimony!! My mom was a divorcee with 4 children!!The woman that Mr Tony described who is about her business and kids was my mom to the tea!! So calm, kind, ambitious and beautiful inside and out. And guess what , when she wasn't looking. That's when she met my stepfather. That man had to deal with 4 kids who were royal to their father and it wasn't easy but guess what, he didn't give up and he was always patient! 15 years later and we all just a big happy family . So single mothers never settle, good men are still out there❤❤
Facts
Thank you
This! 💯🎯Thanks for the encouragement darling!
Poor guy. Dating single parents is a nightmare. No one hopes and dreams to come along and solve the lengthy, burdensome mess a woman made with her womb. No one really wishes to put up with multiple children who are “loyal” to the man that used to screw their woman. Ladies, for the sake of everyone involved, please stop spreading your legs to men you don’t belong with. Stop giving multiple children to trash men. NOBODY WANTS TO DEAL WITH THAT MESS, not even the children.
My mom was married to my father for 10 years before they got divorced, so whatever you're insinuating does not apply to my family. And even if it did, everyone makes mistakes and that's why everyone came to this platform to grow. Choose your words wisely!! Peace and love!
Don't settle if your a single mom. If anything you have to have high standards because the kids come first.
💯💯💯💯
Point, Blank, Period!
Yaasss! Have high standards for Yourself and your children!!! Protect yourself & them.
Exactly 💯
@Joyful n Blessed I agree but I think what people are saying if you have kids by different men typically three or more are not “ desirable” (which I disagree to an extent) it could be the same for a man who has Kids by different women
All my relationships before my child was horrible. I put up with such bs for so long. Once I had my daughter I finally stop allowing the wrong people around me because my daughter safety and just over all mindset is what matters! Never have had a man around her and don’t plan on it unless it’s leading to marriage. I also don’t let just anyone babysit her.
Same here. Kids safety before ❤️
Thank God for you. I wish women did that all over the world. I don't play bout my kids either. No one can be around my kids unless it's a serious relationship
How do you deal with co parenting with the child’s father , Once he starts a new relationship and you don’t even know the women or her intentions with your daughter ?
@@Esme8888888 my child’s father is inconsistent so anytime my daughter sees him I’m there. He doesn’t always like it but for the longest time he wouldn’t tell me little information like his address! Or let me know who she would be around. So in return he couldn’t take my daughter alone unsupervised. When my daughter gets older than maybe that will change. I personally wouldn’t leave your kid with alone with anyone who you don’t trust. But if u trust the father than hopefully he doesn’t have the wrong women around your child.
@@candace9560 thank you very helpful information
As a woman who have kids, I find value in knowing people want what they want. If you having kids is something a man don’t want, that’s ok. Every person (even me) can choose what they want. That does not take away anyone’s value.
Totally agree
Yes! Listen. My mother's boyfriend when I was 16 years old tried to hit on me and when I told her. Her response was "Why would he want you? Because she was desperate to be with a man! I don't deal with her now!! and I am 50 years old. Single Moms don't compromise yourselves.
I was in middle school when a girl mama KICKED HER OUT OF THE HOUSE at 13. She chose her man over her daughter. I was shocked and numb the rest of the day.
Being a single mom is definitely hard and challenging but unless you meet a real man with good character and intentions, who will care, respect and make everything more beautiful for you, you don't need anyone clouding your days and taking time and energy away from your already busy life while giving nothing valuable in return. Being alone is hard, but feeling lonely while in a relationship is the hardest.
I agree, so true.
Well said Queen
So what exactly do YOU have to offer and contribute to a man’s life as a single mother who will inevitably expect him to generously yield his resources to another man’s seed?? What I hear from a lot of single parents is “Me, me, me!! My child, my child, my child!!!” If you chose to throw off the natural order of things and reduce you and your offspring’s lives to struggle love then you need to realize how less of an appealing package you’ve become.
@@tricks2564 So then why is it that so many people find dating single parents to be a miserable experience? Why was there a study showing that stepparents, both male and female, are some of the unhappiest people alive? It is not an uncommon occurrence by far.
Have you ever considered that “handling your family” is too tall of an order. If it’s a common theme that people find “handling your family” to be too taxing then maybe you need to consider if your self-focused entitlement has produced an inability to be a satisfying partner who can create a healthy, well functioning household that includes a legitimate family unit. I hold my standards of capabilities much higher than “What can I do for a man’s leftover family?” Requesting that your leftover family become the centerpiece of a new person’s life is beyond selfish.
Single ladies; life is short. Please do not reduce your purpose, passions, and capabilities to that of “What can I do for a man’s broken, leftover family?” As a non-free therapist, you are under no obligation to appease and cater to the every emotion and thought of single parents and their offspring. They created that mess and THEY need to be the ones ensuring that their foolishness doesn’t minimize and lower the amount of peace in your life. Everyone knows that dating single parents is usually a chaotic, hectic mess; too many of them expect a new partner to come along and clean it up for them.
When my daughter was two years old I had a man living in my apartment years ago abusing and fighting me etc. My daughter saw what he was doing to me and she told him to leave me alone. And I will NEVER forget that as long as I live,she was a toddler/baby at that time and she said it in her baby speach,she was like👶🏽🍼"LEAVE MY MOMMY ALONE?!"😢😭I get emotional sometimes when I think about it and it happened years ago. Now she's a teenager and I have NEVER put a man in her life since.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. The best part is that you have grown from that experience.
@@MichelleNagir Yes because there are some women who NEVER learn. My Mother is still with her Abusive Husband aka my father. Till this day she and he want to Emotionally Abuse me and Guilt trip me. I don't want any part of them in my life. I am a single mother trying to start my own business w no help of theirs. Happy & Thriving they are NO LONGER in my presence to bring me.down or oppress me. Lmao funny thing they don't know I went to school during the Pandemic and I am starting my own Business. Amen!
Experienced that recently. Lesson learned
My child’s biological father did the same. He started yelling at me out of anger and desperation and my son reacted similarly, he told his father to stop and ran in between to hug me.. He was just 3 years old. That image is engraved in my mind. 😭🥺
This man tried to talk to me about sexual market value. Not much older than me but balding, over weight, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetic. SIR lmao....don't let these men try to make you feel bad about being a mom. It's all about your confidence.
He must’ve been watching kevin samuels sis 😂
@@candidlycamille 😂😩
Listen to Tony and protect your kids! My mom brought all kinds of men around us. As a result we witnessed domestic violence, drunkenness, and constant fights to name a few. I always hated when she had a “new” man because I felt ignored. I just wanted my mom. Before you choose someone make sure they're interested in being a positive part of your child's life. What they see you do, they will most likely repeat. I wrote about my experience in my book called Love Yourself First, and now I help other women learn about relationships and self-love. Thanks Tony!💕
Preachhhhh. I will never. These ppl crazy nowadays.
"Witcha lil thang, can't even please no woman" 🤣🤣🤣 Tony a mess!
I died laughing 😂
@@walkbyfaith8557 🤣🤣🤣
My daughter is 14 now, and I have absolutely no plans to date until she graduates high school, if ever. I am working on me, and my three B's. I'm going back to college this fall to get my Bachelor's Degree in psychology. After that, I plan to continue, and get my PhD in psychology. I also plan to become a certified personal trainer. I have so much to do to work on me, that I have no time and no desire to date for a long long time. I'm happy right now being alone. And it took me a long time to be able to say that.
If you don't accept my babies, you don't accept me. Peri od!!!
Absolutely
So true Tony, I would never put my child health and well-being in jeopardy for no man. I rather die single 😁
Truth. We have to pay more attention to the red flags. 1st flag or the barely sighting of a red flag. I'm done. It will be monthsssssss and years before a new man even meet my child. In that time, I'm praying for discernment. Kids are the TOP priority. They watch everything we do. I'd rather be single and alone then to jeopardize the mental/physical well being of my child all for the sake of a no good man that's only there for HIS benefit.
Period sis!!💯🎯
I’m a single mom, and this topic I struggle on the regular… So thank you Mr. Gaskins well needed conversation and wisdom. Thank you 🙏🏽
Agreed!
Agreed as well.
May God bless single parents everywhere. My parents were married and roughly 3 years in my father reverted to a grown boy, they had 7 children 6 of us female around 8-9 year mark they separated and my mother remained single until her death because our safety was her highest priority. There’s some headaches we all can do without and turn back the hands of time.
That seems very common in the older generation, especially if the moms were married. A friend in college had 8 siblings, 7 of which were by the same father, the oldest had a different father. The mom had been married to the men she had 8 children by. Once he left, she didn't pursue any other relationships. To this day, almost 40 years, she has not been in a relationship although her kids were all adults 20 years ago...My great aunt hasn't been with a man in over 50 years, and she's 85!
My grandma the same. After she left my granddaddy. She never entered a relationship even now. She will go to her grave…. Idk how she did it or doing it. Ppl today are not about to do that. So sleeping around will continue or dating for marriage
A man reverting to a grown boy is just ludicrous but so common.
So your mother died without eve getting to experience true love or lifelong companionship. And you think that mess was “cute” because in the end, you were put first?? She should have never been spreading her legs to such a a man so many times to begin with. I pity her.
I don't have an issue with attracting men as a single mom. Coz thanks to Tony he helped me confirm what I suspected which is we can't afford to think less of ourselves. That said my problem was once I had a man's attention, giving out desperate vibes easily flowed. Working on myself now.
“We have freedom of choice, not freedom from consequences.”
-TG
Or as we say in church, you can choose your sin but you can't choose you consequences.
That’s a great point Tony about us raising our kids to simply shut up. I remember when I was in elementary school I was super outgoing but my grandma gave me a complex about it and always said I talked to much and that I just need to be quiet. I ended up internalizing that and when I got to middle school I became withdrawn and antisocial because I thought the world felt the same way that my grandma felt. Now that I’m older and have my own business, I finally broke out of that shell, but it took years. We need to instill confidence in our children.
I had the exact same experience, but my grandma was telling my dad to beat it out of me and that me being outgoing was a sign of disrespect. Come to find out, my grandma really had a problem because she was jealous of my mom so she took it out on me because I reminded my grandma of her. I got back to a better place, but I had to cut off my father’s side of the family to get there.
Wow my grandma was toxic in a lot of ways also. Definitely have to be careful who is around your children, even if it is close family. I wasn’t even around her every day or even every month but I still remember a lot of the negativity and stress I experienced around her.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I wouldn't even say if something was wrong with my health until it got to be extreme. I overheard her say how she always had to take off work. How high the bills were. Lost work meant lost money.
Honey I take my child to the doctor for everything. They be sick of me!
@@ya.baldheadedmama97 that's horrible. Glad you made it through
Tony, this message needs to be developed into a course and put in a parent training class. All I'm gonna say is I used to work in foster care and you would be shocked at how casually some women view their children and what predators men can be. The other scenario of men being the single dad probably happens also but I did not see that situation often.
Also I had a non black speech therapist tell me that African American parents speak to their children in the command form. Meaning they shout/dictate commands at their children instead of instructing/communicating with them. This effects every aspect of their development. Although I never heard it expressed like that before, I listened. However that night while at the supermarket I observed it first hand.
"GET OVER HERE, GO OVER THERE, SHUT UP, PUT IT BACK! Not to mention all of the "F" bombs that are dropped. As the child gets older they don't see you as someone they can talk to because you didn't talk you shouted.
I was single no kids and this guy I knew picked a woman with four kids over me been happily married for 8 years now.
Wow...
She’s amazing ☺️
Definitely never remain with a man who proves low-character or that he doesn't love you or your kids, be it their own father or not. Kids are not happier if their parents stay together "for their sake" instead of breaking up because they have to spend years witnessing bad behaviour, abu*e, injustice or even seeing you unhappy, that is bad enough and these will alter the way they perceive the world forever, their attitude towards life, self-esteem, confidence, adult decisions, choices and relationships. I know because i am one of those kids.
Thanks Carmen for your comment! Words of wisdom on Tony’s excellent advice! 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I am also one of those children, now am adult, and you are EXACTLY right!
Powerful!
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏽🤗
Same
PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST‼️
Desperation can wait‼️🤷🏽♀️🙄
A lot can't wait.Too eagered to get their back blown out and post photos being 'booed up' on social media.
@@sonny3169 and it’s pathetic ‼️🤷🏽♀️
I had my child at 17 i take care of him and I love him and if I didn’t have my child at that time God knows where I would be
I was going down the wrong path and I felt like I didn’t have a reason to live and his dad was abusive to me… but the day I laid eyes on my baby that’s when reality set in a harsh reality
I needed to live for my son.
What God has for you it is for you, Wait for it & Prepare for it. Block everything that is distracting you.
I discovered recently blocking can bring a great relief cos I hardly used the button thinking it shows I’m too mean but hey! It’s the best medicine to focusing on only quality people in life.
@@insidelife9148 Amen
My mom was a single mom to me for 16 years and she hated it. She settled for a very abusive man who kicked me out of the house.
Wow! I’m so sorry that happened to you 🙏🏾💕
Oh nooo so sorry 😢
For everyone in comments saying sorry, thank you but what you can do and is tell other single moms to stop bringing shitty men into their children’s lives. That would save a lot of headache
This happens so much unreal
You were a non-stop reminder of her life with another man. 🤷🏽♀️ And you were hogging her resources, attention, and time. Blame your mother for creating you out of wedlock; she shouldn’t have had an uncontrollable crotch. Everyone else suffered because she didn’t have a disciplined vagina.
Reporting live from the trenches 💯❤️ it’s real out here!!!
I feel like when men see an ex wife they respect that mom more. When a man sees you made the same choice with knowing a guy wasnt trying to be with you nor married,then they do look down on you. Alot of women need to learn to wait. Too many women make their kids uncomfortable in the name of companionship. Those same parents then want to spoil the grandkids of the kids they let get dogged out. Like maam you skipped a whole generation to love.
I kinda disagree if you have one kid or kids by one man( or by 2 different guys) I don’t think guys really look down on women unless the guy the woman has kid a kid/kids with have multiple baby mothers and she became baby mom number #3/4/5/6 or if the guy is immature But I will say this cause I seen a video on this topic men look down on women who have kids by different men ( 3 and up) who she wasn’t married or wasn’t married to that long ( less than 4 years) really tho more than 3 men look down upon women like that
@@shutit4024 it doesnt neans he is immature but has standards. And not every man is coming with children.
@@loveyb3347 true
You are 100% right. Creating an out of wedlock child in this day and age with so many contraceptives just looks irresponsible, foolish, and/or shady like the woman was trying to trap the man.
@@indigobricks7442 you cant trap a man who doesnt wear protection. But its foolish to do the same thing multiple times even in a relationship if there is no sign he wants to marry you.
He’s so right, that happened to my mums family and it tore them all apart. Suicide, drug abuse, estrangement. It’s terrible, protect your kids. No mans worth that.
It’s hard for women with or without kids to meet a quality man. Many BW settle and marry unworthy men which results in misery but hey they’re married right. What I’ve learned is if God has a mate for you then it will happen in his time. Rest in that no matter what you’re situation is. If you are a mother God will send you a man who will love your kids and adopt (not even taking about legally but in the spirit) them as his own. That takes a real grown man to step
up to that. Please stop basing your value on other’s opinion. If a man says he doesn’t want to date you because you’re a mom then he’s not for you. Once you truly understand your value you won’t care. Keep working on becoming the best version of yourself. Most of us desire companionship and I’ve learned to lay that desire at the feet of Jesus. I’d rather get tired of being alone than be miserable in a relationship/marriage. And when you have children you certainly don’t want your children to be negatively impacted by a unhealthy relationship.
I did not date for several years while my children were young because I felt that the most important thing I'll ever do is be their mother, so that came first.
Plus.... the thought of handcuffs and prison time were becoming a bit too appealing to me in light of finding out one of my babies had been molested. Because this momma does not play about hers.
Thanks again, Mr. Gaskins!!!
Don't ever compromise your priorities ladies! If he talks smack about those priorities, or tries to divert you from them, then he is not the husband that will add to, nor benefit your life!
I was/am one of the ones that waiting until my son was off to college before dating. Abstinent for 18 almost 19 years. My son is Christian, smart and my gift. In other words my sacrifice was well worth it. It may not be for everyone, but it is a Blessing to me. 🙏🏾😊💜🕊🕊🌷🌹🌹
TG as kid: I ain't have nothing but one wing momma
Me: 🗣Give that baby a wing !
😂 Happy Sunday Blessed Tribe!
IF THEY CAN'T RESPECT IT...GONE BOUT YO BUSINESS 💯
👏🏽
Let a man talk and reveal who he truly is so you can easily eliminate him.
This! If you date with your intuition and common sense, it’s easy to spot people with ill intentions.
Facts I learned myself
This so true.I'm blessed single mom now,Instead of being with my kids father who lied,cheated,abuse me over the years.I'm so happy now,sicken people out here,so don't trust people around my kids.
I totally agree with your message in this video. Put your child first and work on yourself we have to take care of our blessings (our children) 🥰👶🏽👱🏼♀️👨🏼🦱🤱🏼🙇🏿
Gosh Tony I wish I would have known about your channel years ago before I entered the relationship with my son’s dad and became a single mom. But I’m grateful I atleast know it now thank you for all that you do .
This is how I always feel watching his videos.. he has so much wisdom that I wish I had access to sooner !
And this goes for kids that are grown too. I am 42 and an empty nester. My sons are 23 and 21 and on their own. But I had a grown boy tell me I don't have what he wants. And I'm like cool. This man has six baby mothers, no place of his own, he has a good job but just got out of a long-term relationship that he never married this woman. So I lost nothing! He tried to tear me down. I am a government employee of 9 years, I have my own brand that I'm trying to build plus different side hustles. And just an insecure little boy
The Realest Message on UA-cam
Everything you have shared in this video is totally true Tony! Keep helping us ladies, Man of GOD! THANKS!
Yes, definitely. I have 3 teens girls and 2 younger boys. We are so busy all the time. I have been single for years. I will gladly wait until my kiddos are out of the house. I'm building myself in the meantime.
I was a single Mother with my Son for .8 years before getting Married yes Tony I think single parent Mother’s think they need accommodate Men.🙋🏾♀️💕🥰
There are a lot of single parents who seem to be entitled and expect partners to accommodate the mess they have made. The world does not orbit around your broken family.
These kind of messages are like preventative medicine. Great message, it just flowed nicely too.
Yes, I totally agree with you. I waited until my girls were grown then I started dating. I felt it was the right thing to do. I know some women don’t like to be alone but our children come first! like you say our kids are number one priority. My daughter’s like mom you need man now lol
These kids have so much wisdom we can learn from them too. I ask my daughter her opinion on things. I do have to remind her to stay respectful she gets the bluntness from me😂
That was the devil speaking through that older lady. The devil uses people to speak negative, evil words that are meant to hurt others.
I'm a single mom of an amazing 7 yr old son I was just talking about this topic to him a few days ago, I said for it's just us and that's ok, I refuse to have just any guy around my son and I when I saw I'm not with the BS, work, a recent MBA grad, working on my PhD I be like a man got to come correct stepping to me, I've allowed in my past to let men use me but it's a different story once I set rules, standards and boundaries, so I'm okay being alone bc I got God on my side, amen amen amen got to love yourself first..xoxo
I'm a single mom of 4. I like companionship like most, but you ain't got to live in the same house as myself and my babies for that! I've learned that over the years.
Agreed and great message coach. Personally, my son is a gift and it’s just not worth it. In my case my son has already gone through his dad dying. I’m definitely not putting him in a position where I have blinders and my child is put in a position of trauma. Ever. Pray for God to double down on given wisdom and discernment . We are worth it no matter what. Our children are worth it. Dive into working on ourselves, making sure our children are top priority everything else will in fact get in where OR if it fits in. 💙
He ain’t lying 🙌🏽(preach )
I have been a single mom for a year because I’m divorced. Im blessed to have people in my life to not allow me think that bc im a single mom im less than. I immediately changed my attitude from being rejected to preparing for special selection. I speak that im in the position & preparation phase because I know God will fulfill my desires of having a godly husband one day and remarriage. My kids keep me super busy and I’m never lonely or bored. Im thankful for the wisdom Tony speaks along with the wisdom from my counsel. Patience. The right mindset. Healing. Preparing & Positioning 🙏🏽❤️
Yess Queen you are phenomenal regardless!
I kinda been letting the whole idea of never finding love cause I’m a single mother get to me. Hope I find it and all the other moms out there too
I don't leave messages for any UA-camrs, but thank you, Tony. I hurt when these hurt grown boys LIE to women. It's a manipulative tactic. Women are precious gems at all AGES, with or without children, big or small, dark or light. A woman's value never changes..
The face of the black womans child made me choke on my float and crack up laughing 😂 my 5year old twins said mama is that TG?
Once I got over my codepency issues my life got so much better. Therapy also helped. I enjoy being a single mom.
Thank you for your wisdom, advice and respect you express to single mothers. I gave struggled with this for such a long time to the point its eating me up. I took so much comfort in listening to this. You’re truly a good person Tony. God bless you and your family.
Truth and Facts!! Thank you Tony, keep the videos coming!!!!
At the end of the day what's for YOU is and will be for YOU! Whether you have kids or not the man God has for you is already yours. While society's perception of single mothers (especially for Black Women) can be very low. I personally have seen great examples of single mothers finding love and marriage after becoming single mothers. So it is not far fetched. Lastly, I 1000% agree with Tony about raising our children to be confident (especially our daughters) and to speak their mind respectfully. We HAVE to raise the next generation to be better than us and better than our parents' generation ❤
Can I like this a million times!!!! So needed this. Thank you.
Bro Tony you know you get me when you pop your lips and express us women. Lol 😂😂😂
When Tony smacks his gums...Ha! You know you in for a mocking treat! lol
Love this message tony you one of the best !!!!!
Thank you ever so much for this WORD, much appreciated 🙏🏽🙏🏽👊🏽
I Soo needed to hear this video from Tony. A man point of view. Tks
Thank you for the message. Please keep helping us single moms.
Thank you so much❣️Everything you said is spot on with every situation in my life. It’s like God’s speaking to me. Thank you Tony for letting him use you. You are appreciated and loved❤️
At this point I'm genuinely content with just my son. I have no desire to date right now. However, best believe when I'm ready, I'll be fiercely protecting my son 'cause there are some real monsters out here. Shoot, husbands kill their own kids. To be so desperate for scum that you'd allow them to treat your child any old way is really sad......for the child.
@@wonderfullyrenee Jesus. I just can't fathom that. My heart goes out to you guys. 💔
When you’re out there again, don’t share you have a child . Make sure he loves you for who you are, not what you have to offer him or let him judge you for being a mom. It’s best to just explain later that you were being safe . Until they prove themselves to you , don’t say anything. Don’t let them meet him until you are sure it’s leading to marriage.
Tony, you seriously are one of my favorite mentors to gain information from! You present serious topics in a light hearted and hilarious manner! I love your honest and no nonsense approach!
Exactly Tony G., I am so tired of all these "fake terms" used to degrade people in our community.
Tonyyyyy! You are SPOT on with this one. You almost scared me lol
I know exactly what tour talking about on this one. Thank you so much for this video!🙏
I appreciate you Mr Gaskin, you are truly a gift sent from God. You are truly blessed and highly favored. Thank you for sharing your gems! May God continue to bless you and your family
Hey Tony, I read that article/book a few years ago, about how the parents talk to their kids about dr visit. It changed my parenting. It was a research article from the 70s or something but yes you are right we have to start teaching our kids how to build self confidence and esteem-trusting themselves and feeling as though they can speak up when they are harmed.
as a single woman w a child...THANK YOU!! I hope every one of us hear us, i truly do. it's up to us! ✨✨
THANK YOU!😃🙌🏾
Not cookin in a thong! 😂😂😂
Good video today. Even for widows with kids. Raise your child first before you do anything else. That child will see that having a man wasn’t your priority they were. That’s the least you can do. The world is bad enough. Protect their now and their future.
Thanks Tony. Your parents instilled or you have learned extremely valuable values of life, Parenthood, manhood. That example you gave is what I needed to hear.
Well said. Every time a question popped up that I wanted to ask, you answered it later on the video. Thank you for your insight and words. I feel much better being a single parent and understanding why God had me in the season of singleness
Walk in your purpose and stay true to yourself and it will work out the way it’s supposed to. I’m a single mom of 2 and I am my first priority and my kids come next. I have no regrets! I have faith!
This was a great one TG... Exactly why I try not to dwell so much on being single. I have 3 children whom are my priorities and relationships can be so complicated, especially with children. The ideal man would definitely have to be open to how unpredictable my days can be. Until the right one comes along, I'll continue to be single.
Swear I just watch his vids cuz I literally fall off my chair 😂😂😂. His messages have so much truth in them though!
Coming live from the trenches! 🤣🤣🤣 I can’t sometimes with him! 😂😂😂
Absolutely Never Regretted it !!!
🤣🤣🤣 "who is uuuuu?" that sound just like me
Some "step parents" over step there boundaries as step parents.
ooooh.
Please lay out the appropriate boundaries for a stepparent when another person’s kid is leeching off of their resources, sequentially impacting the amount of money available for their retirement fund, savings account, vacations savings, and any other vital investments?? Children need to stay in a child’s place. If you are a visitor in someone else’s home; you abide by their rules. Mommy and Daddy’s forever broken relationship should not change those facts. The delusional idea to “love them like they’re your own” isn’t forced on stepchildren.
I'm definitely sharing this video.
I make that mistake... I need to teach mine to ask more questions. Thank you... because others need to hear this.
I needed this one.
Tony I love your humor🤣 ✝️💫🤍
I'm from Russia and my mom told me to listen people and do what they want and I listened. I was raped and can not say them A WORD. I was humiliated all the time everywhere. I'm 26 y.o. single mom now, he was married because I thought that I didn't deserve good single man. Now I'm figuring out my life with your help. Waiting till my baby will 2. And when I be ready for new relationships. You're like my father. Thank you!🙏👏🙌
Great wisdom
Lmaoooooooo “you in there cooking in a thong” 😂😂😂😂😂 but he right being desperate for a man not a good thing for yourself or children.
God bless thank you Tony longtime fan 💐
So true 💪🏾💕💕💕
So true as they kids get older.. they get scared to ask questions even seeing something on a bank statement getting ripped off Right mute. Them.. scare them to ask question as we get older we developed into our personality but still how our parents suppress us... my brother driving around in Arizona 115 degree no air-conditioned car it broke.. he didn't wanna bother ppl or think its expensive he has the money but won't say nothing.. until he came home all red w no air.... how the hell u driving w no air.... he doesn't know how to even ask basic questions for car loans or credit or making a doctor appt. Nothing when I watched my self on video as a kid I always asked questions talked a lot and it drove my mom crazy she even tones me out now
It's said we can repeat something 4x abd she acts like she doesn't know
Thank u xxx
Awesome video life changing n true
As a soon to be divorced single mom for a second time. I'm not worried bout nothing these men talkn bout...they hve always had something to say about my parenting or behind my back about my children how my daughter runs me and I've had men be jealous of our relationship and now I have a young son who I want to respect me and know that his mother is not a hoe and a real woman so I refuse to parade me in and out of my life and if Tony said in a prior video they could just be Uncle Cliff until we get married if we even make it that far there's no way I'm going to start rearranging all these things jumping through and over Hoops for someone that's not doing it for me a and furthermore I am working on myself to be the best version of me that I can be and a man should compliment you not be your centerpiece, what is he doing to accommodate or rearrange or sacrifice for you it just comes back to treat me like you want to be treated and we will be alright but one thing I have noticed is that these men are really hung up on the whole cooking thing and since I have been single for the last past year only having to cook for myself and my son I make very small meals and I really don't miss making these 3-course meals three times a day nor do I feel like it is a requirement for me to be desired as a good woman so I may be single for awhile only God knows but my plate is full with improvements that I'm going to make in my life so I plan to be so fulfilled with everything else that if and when a man comes it will just fit but Tony I really appreciate this video it was definitely something that needed to be addressed