Married for 21 years and still going strong! we spend every loving, waking moment together and have always slept separately. I like my room toasty and he likes it cool. Also he snores too loudly and I hog all the blankets. Best thing we ever did in our relationship
I'd personally would want to feel the warmth of my soul mate. Maybe not all the time, especially since my sleep is erratic, but it's nice to spend some horizontal time together. I guess it becomes less meaningful the more regularly it happens.
I felt embarrassed & horrible about not sleeping in the same room with hubs, for a long time. I absolutely adore him. When we were younger & had more energy & passionate long nights, sleeping in the same bed was no problem.....as we got older, raising kiddos, snoring becomes more frequent, and we are more tired; we just migrated to different areas & it is so much easier to sleep. Seeing this story & comments make me feel better that we aren't the only ones.
My husband and I have been together for 35 years. We started sleeping in separate rooms 3 years ago and never looked back. He’s an early to bed early to rise guy and I’m a late to bed late to rise girl. He snores, I have nightmares that would wake HIM up in terror haha. I felt so guilty at first, but now it’s the best decision we ever made. No, it’s not dumb at all. It made total sense and we are much happier and sleeping better because of it!
@@chechnya When the husband does not address the snorring, there's nothing for the woman to do but to go to a separate bedroom to have a good night's sleep that is crucial for your physical and mental health.
When I was younger I always thought sleeping separately was a sign of an unhappy marriage. When I got older I realized I like to take over the whole bed and I snore so it would be best to have a separate room. Also having your own space is not a bad thing. It doesn't necessarily mean that you don't love your spouse or want to spend time with them, it's about having a good nights sleep.
My folks, too, and they were happily married for sixty plus years, 'til he died. I can't bear to sleep with another human being in my bed! It seems abnormal to me.
My husband and I have been together for 29 years. We've had separate rooms for the past 21. He's an early bird; I'm a night owl. He likes it really cold; I like it really warm. Every time one of us stirred in bed, the other would wake up. We both get much better sleep when we're alone. You can still have quality, intimate time together. Sleeping separate doesn't have to mean that your marriage is doomed. Sometimes it can even make it better.
My wife and I sleep in separate bedrooms because she likes to have lights on all night and listen to a movie playing. I like to sleep in total darkness and silence. So sleeping in separate bedrooms works out great for both of us.
I'm so glad that you did this segment. I now realize it's more common that we realized or care to admit. I can't agree more! I LOVE having my own space. I love sleeping by myself!
Yes!!! The last person I dated was turned off by the fact that I said if we ever made it to cohabiting, I’d have to have my own room. They didn’t understand why and felt rejected. It wasn’t that, but I value my own space and energy.
🎉Why cohabitate with someone you’re not married to? 😮. Dating means VETTING for marriage while living apart. If you do marry him, make sure you move into a home bought by him for you. We all know everything women give to become wives & mothers. But….What is he you?
@@sandycheeks1580that’s what that means for you. People have different culture, perceptions, and needs. I think she knows what she needs better than you, a complete stranger with a weird view on women and womanhood.
My parents had separate bedrooms. I thought that’s how everyone did it. Fast forward 40 years to me. I’ve had chronic low back pain since age 27. I was alone until I turned 40 and met a wonderful guy. We tried to sleep in the same bed. Woke up after our first night together to the intense pain of his leg over my back . He just threw his leg over my body in his sleep. That leg felt like it weighed 100 lbs! I couldn’t even get it off me. I had to wake him up to get it off! We had a long distance relationship. Each time we saw each other, we slept on separate beds. When he finally moved in with me after 4 years, we tried to sleep in the same bed again. I woke up to the pain of his knee to my lower back. Nope. Can’t do it. We’ve been together for 20 years now sleeping in separate beds. 🤷🏻♀️Oh, and for the record, I’m the one who snores like a freight train. 😂
Honestly, your sex life, and cuddling while awake are far more important than physically sleeping in the same bed. Most couples don't cuddle while sleeping as it can be unconfortable and wake your partner up if you move too much, and getting a good rest is very important. Instead, you can cuddle while watching TV right before bed, or in the morning.
my grandparents slept in seperate bedrooms and no problems noted. it's ok to sleep apart when married. it does not mean there is trouble with the marriage.
My wife and I sleep in separate bedrooms. I used to wake up freezing and all the covers wrapped around her. It got so bad that I had to keep a blanket by the bed to keep warm. She also takes up 3/4 of the bed and I have to sleep on the edge or get kicked. I snore and so does she, but she wakes up at the slightest noise. The last straw was when I woke up swinging and gasping, because she was squeezing my nose shut trying to stop my snoring. She also expects me to constantly rub her when we're in the same bed, but she never reciprocates. I go to my bedroom and I get a good nights sleep.
Even if a situation doesn't allow for separate rooms, sleeping in separate beds is so much more restful so everyone can have their own blankets and space to move.
I've never been in a relationship yet, but couples who have their own space sound like positive if anything. You're together and love one another, but it's nice to have space for yourself.
We've been doing it for 25 years and I would never change. When it's time to throw down we do, but otherwise we enjoy our own space, our own tv shows at night and our different wake-up schedules. We are so happy this way and would never go back. EVER!
Sleeping in the same room/bed is weird behavior. Grown adults sharing a room, bed, closet, bathroom in a house they pay for, yet their kids and pets each have separate rooms and beds. It’s strange
My favorite great aunt and great uncle went on their honeymoon, where she discovered how badly he snored. They came back, and moved into single bedrooms. They never shared a bedroom after that and were blissfully in love until they passed away 5 decades later.
we slept together the first 20 years, it was ok. when hubby got the c-pap, I moved to the guest room. the noise was intolerable to me. we both sleep well now.
Shared a bedroom for a long time. Lots of snoring. Lots of early alarms snoozed. Lots of hogged blankets. Separate bedrooms for the last 6 years. Tomorrow is our 15 year anniversary
My husband and I haven’t slept in the same room for almost 5 years. When our son was born, he stayed in our bedroom and my husband eventually moved into another room for his own comfort and so he could sleep without being woke up. We’ve come to realize that it’s beneficial for us to sleep apart. He sleeps with a ton of blankets and I don’t. He likes a fan right on him, I don’t. He goes to bed much later than I do. He snores horribly to the point I’ve literally rolled him out of bed. Lol.
I've never understood how two (or more) people could sleep together. Every time one tosses & turns, gets up to pee, gets up to cough, wakes up in a start from a dream, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, - how do you avoid waking up your partner? I suppose some can sleep through anything, but certainly many cannot. The cost of poor sleep on society must be huge.
I saw something somewhere that it wasn't uncommon for a married couple to sleep in different beds or bedrooms if they were wealthy enough to afford more than one bed as well as a room/ home big enough for them.
Anyone who's ever had a slob for a housemate knows what a distracting annoyance that quickly becomes. Having one's own tidy living space(s) can be critical to mental health. When my hoarder housemate finally moved out years ago it was like seeing the sky once again. (Bluebirds were chirping.)
Sleeping separately is the best thing my husband and I ever did. He's a snorer and I'm an insomniac. I never did like sleeping with other people in the bed. Sleeping together is overrated.
Less stress, more freedom. When you sleep beside someone, you feel like you cant shift around freely, which in turn keeps you at a heightened awareness that you shouldnt have when you sleep.
Thanks. My husband and I have slept separately, happily for 20 years. Mostly since the nest was empty. We also keep different hours. We thought it was work related until we were both retired and, after a confusing initial period, we just accepted it sharing key times of the day.
A daybed in the living room instead of a couch might be a solution for some. If snoring isn't the issue, two beds in the same room instead of just one big bed - most people can sleep just fine alone in a twin.
My husband and I started sleeping separately about 8 years ago. We agree that we sleep so much better. We have a second home we go to for weekends and we sleep together when we are there so it is like a special treat. I do have moments that I feel guilty not sleeping together and feel disjointed. We have been together 30+ years.
My husband and I have slept in separate bedrooms for 2 years now and our marriage has never been better! We both sleep sooooo well now! For reference- been married for 8 years.
My boyfriend and I have lived together for years and have gradually moved to separate beds, even as our relationship has grown stronger. We read together at night in my bed and he sometimes falls asleep there with me until he wakes crowded and uncomfortable (mine's a daybed) and I sometimes snuggle with him in his waterbed until get hot and uncomfortable. I've always shared beds with my partners before, and have never liked it. Now I do what I want!
I've been on both sides. In my first marriage my ex husband and I slept separately after a few years of marriage and I enjoyed having my own space. Now I'm in my second marriage and my husband and I sleep together and its comforting to know he's near me. I can't imagine sleeping apart from him.
My husband and I have been married for 21 years. First marriage for both of us and we didn’t live together before marriage. I can’t imagine sleeping separately from him. It’s comforting for me to have him there and I like to snuggle up in the winter when my feet are cold! Lol! My parents slept together all while I was growing up but they now sleep separately (married 52 years this month!). My mom snores, my dad has a cpap, my dad wakes up earlier than she does…and she now can’t do stairs with age and so she has a bedroom downstairs and he still sleeps upstairs. It works for them and is no indication of a happy or unhappy marriage. I hope I always end up sleeping in the same bed as my husband but who knows what will happen down the road?
My husband and I have been married for nearly 37 years. We've been sleeping separately for over 12 years. He snores and we both need solid rest due to demanding jobs. It's probably extended our lives recognizing the importance of sleep.
One of the reasons for my divorce. My husband could not understand why I couldn't share a bed with him. He took it personally and I just needed a solid 8 hours of sleep!
Finally. The world knows what I always knew to be true: You should have your own bedroom. You meetup w/ your spouse when it's "that time", and afterwards go back to your own room. Perfect. Hah, there's even one couple who took it up another level: They live in separate homes, right next door to each other. If you can afford it, even better.
I've been married for 34 years and have been with my husband for 36 years. He is a heavy sleeper who snores, prefers a warm room, moves too much and until he recently retired was a early to bed early to rise guy. I on the other hand is a very light sleeper, needs a cold room to sleep, I stay up later and needs white noise. With his snoring, I tend to wake him telling him to turn over. About 15 years ago, after every night one of us ends up in the guest bedroom, we decided to make it permanent. If we didn't do that, I'm sure we wouldn't have stay married. Both of us have had too many sleepless nights. I still sleep on my side of the bed eventhough I'm alone. When we travel and stay in a hotel( if only 1 bed in the room) or our trailer, we do sleep in the same bed. He does now use a Cpap that stopped his snoring. I don't care what people think. It works for us.
My husband and i have been married for 13 yrs and have had separate bed rms for the past 11 yrs and love it.....we have completely different sleep habits...
I mean, well-rested people tend to be healthier & happier, so whether you have separate bedrooms or even just separate beds, it makes good sense to me to want better health & mental energy for both people in a relationship. You can "visit" one another's room or bed as often as you'd like, and I imagine for some people, that's actually more fun.
I have to have total silence, and stillness, to be able to sleep well and that can't happen with the man I married! He snores and turns over way too much during the night. Hence, we've never slept together in the same room for the last 35 years! And I love having my own bedroom to decorate in my style too. Win-win!
This is totally true and wise advice. When you are young maybe sharing a room but as you age you need your own space. After 13/14 yrs married my husband and I hit a road bump. I said we can be roommates with separate rooms but we are not leaving each other! We just celebrated 21 years of marriage and are best friends and totally in Love!! Sharing a bed and room is a tradition that needs to change. Everyone needs their own space....and the snoring is absolutely legit! haha
I find that it makes for a lot happier relationship for couples to sleep in their own separate rooms. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and we 😊have slept separately for 3 years, and we couldn’t be happier 😃! Just like the couple in this video, I get the sleep I need, and so does my husband. It’s a win win situation☺️. HOORAY 👏🏼👏🏼
I love to sleep alone in the bed 100% get better sleep. Often, if my partner gets up during the middle of the night, it becomes difficult to fall back asleep. I'm tired the next day. That only lasted so long before he made the choice not to disturb my sleep and sleep in the other room. I appreciate it.
Married nearly 30 years we have separate rooms, can’t remember how it started, I think it was something to do with one of the kids needing to be with me plus hubby gets up for work at stupid o’clock and goes to bed early so we were constantly waking each other up. I love my own room. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to give up your personal space, plus you still get to say, your place or mine 😜
Hubs recorded me snoring. I sound like an 18-wheeler repeatedly falling and crashing off a 30-foot bridge. I sleep with a fan on, no matter the season. He sleeps under multiple blankets year round. I stay up until 5 a.m. He's in bed by 10 p.m. There's no way we can sleep in the same room. Don't even get me started on why we also have separate bathrooms.😅
Couples don't sleep together because of some intrinsic need, that's a dumb media myth. Couples sleep together because back in olden times, entire families used to share a single bed. As we became wealthier, houses had more rooms and more beds until it became standard for every child to have his/her own bedroom. Married couples with multiple kids probably can't afford to add another bedroom, but with the falling fertility rate, if married couples have an extra room, why shouldn't they take their own space?
I actually think it's kind of gross to share a bed with someone. While what we do as humans is totally natural, who wants to share a space with someone drooling, burping, farting, and heaven forbid, sleeping nude and having sheets/blankets all over their nether regions! On a serious note, we need to end the stigma where if a couple doesn't share a bedroom it equates to a bad marriage. I think it's quite the opposite. It doesn't mean couples can't be intimate or have time cuddling for a while, then leaving to go to your own room. As a snoring, restless sleeper, who likes to hog the covers and not worry about getting woken up/waking my partner up, separate rooms is the only way to go.
I'm not and have never been married but the whole thing of having to share a bedroom always felt weird to me when I got old enough to think about it. I'd love to keep my room if I ever live with someone. I think perhaps to women in straight relationships if you could also not share a bathroom it would be super healthy for the relationship. I think the couple needs to have some "rules" though, to ensure they don't start feeling like roommates. Perhaps open doors most of the time? Spouse allowed to come in always, no permission needed? I don't know, smth like that.
Sleeping in the same room in the same bed is a carryover from peasant days when everyone crowded into one space. You can bet the “swells” never slept in the same bed and don’t to this day. I know I don’t! I want my own space. If I want to read, watch my IPad I can do it. Plus don’t have to hear “you’re snoring kept me awake.”
I remember my bf being dismayed about my inability to sleep in the same room w his terrible snoring. Thankfully his therapist clued him in that it's very common. As the years go on I have more and more reasons to have my own bedroom.
My hushed and I have 2 queen size bed pushed together 😂 we just sleep better having our own sleeping space. This couple is a lot like us my bed is always covered in my devices and books lol my husband is neat and in order.
My grandparents had twin beds like you see in 1950s tv shows. People assume tv shows showed couples in separate beds due to network censorship, but couples really did do that.
My husband sleeps in our bedroom and I have slept on a couch for years. We have a spare bedroom that he insists we use as an office even though nobody works from home. I wish I had my own space. He doesn't understand. For the record I am the one who snores.
Interesting. I've been with my partner for 18 years and we shared a bed the first year only. He always wanted his own space and kept completely different hours, so it worked well for him to have a separate bedroom. I was really lonely for a long time, eventually got used to it, and I got used to being on my own and having my own space and separate life. He sleeps in a different house on our property now and it works great for him. Kids and I manage. Some people aren't equiped to share space with others.
I feel like a reason why we usually share bedrooms with our partners is because it's so expensive to have another room in your home if you don't necessarily need one, even if it would be nice
My husband and I have slept in separate beds for several years. After two hip surgeries he just can’t get comfortable in the same bed with me. When we travel we get 2 beds in same room, but if we travel with our large family, like our summer beach trip, where space is limited, we sleep together. We just kind of grin and bear it, knowing that it’s only for a week.
I'm perpetually single so I've been sleeping in a bed by myself for the majority of my life. At this point at nearly 30 years old I have no interest in sharing a bed even if I find a partner. I mean I starfish, it's why I opted for a full bed despite sleeping alone.
Married for 21 years and still going strong! we spend every loving, waking moment together and have always slept separately. I like my room toasty and he likes it cool. Also he snores too loudly and I hog all the blankets. Best thing we ever did in our relationship
Same here!😉
Yup, it was hard - because the stigma of it all. But once we did it -- SO MUCH BETTER!! Been that way for about 15 years, no going back.
Sleep is detrimental for both physical and emotional health…it’s what causes chronic illnesses aside from diet. Stay happy and healthy
OMG my wife is a total blanket hog... Maybe I should consider this. And the office/bedroom is cooler.
"Let's sleep together and not get quality sleep just bc society says we should" is madness.
Agree.
you know what destroys marriages? lack of quality sleep.
I'd personally would want to feel the warmth of my soul mate. Maybe not all the time, especially since my sleep is erratic, but it's nice to spend some horizontal time together. I guess it becomes less meaningful the more regularly it happens.
Yall act like people don't wanna have sex and cuddle 😒. Tell on yourself more.
@@Competitive_Antagonist Not in south Texas. It's already too hot as it is and the AC only does so much
I felt embarrassed & horrible about not sleeping in the same room with hubs, for a long time. I absolutely adore him. When we were younger & had more energy & passionate long nights, sleeping in the same bed was no problem.....as we got older, raising kiddos, snoring becomes more frequent, and we are more tired; we just migrated to different areas & it is so much easier to sleep. Seeing this story & comments make me feel better that we aren't the only ones.
So instead of addressing the snoring, you just move bedrooms? That's dumb.
My husband and I have been together for 35 years. We started sleeping in separate rooms 3 years ago and never looked back. He’s an early to bed early to rise guy and I’m a late to bed late to rise girl. He snores, I have nightmares that would wake HIM up in terror haha. I felt so guilty at first, but now it’s the best decision we ever made. No, it’s not dumb at all. It made total sense and we are much happier and sleeping better because of it!
@@chechnya When the husband does not address the snorring, there's nothing for the woman to do but to go to a separate bedroom to have a good night's sleep that is crucial for your physical and mental health.
@@JanieO Love to hear similar stories! Awesome & thank you. I ignore the ignorant comments that some trolls make don't make any sense. ;)
@@trildi Amen sister! I don't even address ignorance.
When I was younger I always thought sleeping separately was a sign of an unhappy marriage. When I got older I realized I like to take over the whole bed and I snore so it would be best to have a separate room. Also having your own space is not a bad thing. It doesn't necessarily mean that you don't love your spouse or want to spend time with them, it's about having a good nights sleep.
Once I get married I won't give up sleeping alone.
My parents been married for almost 40 years and they had separate bedrooms. They needed the space to enjoy themselves. Nothing wrong with it.
My folks, too, and they were happily married for sixty plus years, 'til he died.
I can't bear to sleep with another human being in my bed! It seems abnormal to me.
My husband and I have been together for 29 years. We've had separate rooms for the past 21. He's an early bird; I'm a night owl. He likes it really cold; I like it really warm. Every time one of us stirred in bed, the other would wake up. We both get much better sleep when we're alone. You can still have quality, intimate time together. Sleeping separate doesn't have to mean that your marriage is doomed. Sometimes it can even make it better.
Exactly it worked for my parents
Boomers are rolling in disbelief
I’ve been married for 33 years, And have had a similar experience. It’s wonderful.
@@rickyayy I’m a boomer lol. Kelly is spot on.
Same here. It works for us.
My wife and I sleep in separate bedrooms because she likes to have lights on all night and listen to a movie playing. I like to sleep in total darkness and silence. So sleeping in separate bedrooms works out great for both of us.
My grandparents always had separate beds. It worked out for them. I'm here to talk about it. 😀
Your grandparents aren't your parents but I get what you mean
but did they have separate rooms?
C2it First, My Grandparents Had Separate Bedrooms & I Used To Think It Was Odd, But Now I Get It! 🤦🏻
(They Really Didn’t Seem To Like Each Other.) 🙄’
@@TheEsquireClub lol
LoL! Do they know ur telling us?👴👵
I'm so glad that you did this segment. I now realize it's more common that we realized or care to admit. I can't agree more! I LOVE having my own space. I love sleeping by myself!
Yes!!! The last person I dated was turned off by the fact that I said if we ever made it to cohabiting, I’d have to have my own room. They didn’t understand why and felt rejected. It wasn’t that, but I value my own space and energy.
Well that’s too bad. I think many people are brought up with the idea that you’re supposed to share a bed when married
We not shared a bed for years! We still know the way when needed.
🎉Why cohabitate with someone you’re not married to? 😮. Dating means VETTING for marriage while living apart. If you do marry him, make sure you move into a home bought by him for you. We all know everything women give to become wives & mothers. But….What is he you?
@@sandycheeks1580that’s what that means for you. People have different culture, perceptions, and needs. I think she knows what she needs better than you, a complete stranger with a weird view on women and womanhood.
Aside from everything mentioned in previous comments, the ability to break wind liberally is also a plus of sleeping in seperate rooms!
😂😂😂
I think sleeping separately AND not sharing a bathroom are the keys to wedded bliss...........
My parents had separate bedrooms. I thought that’s how everyone did it. Fast forward 40 years to me. I’ve had chronic low back pain since age 27. I was alone until I turned 40 and met a wonderful guy. We tried to sleep in the same bed. Woke up after our first night together to the intense pain of his leg over my back . He just threw his leg over my body in his sleep. That leg felt like it weighed 100 lbs! I couldn’t even get it off me. I had to wake him up to get it off! We had a long distance relationship. Each time we saw each other, we slept on separate beds. When he finally moved in with me after 4 years, we tried to sleep in the same bed again. I woke up to the pain of his knee to my lower back. Nope. Can’t do it. We’ve been together for 20 years now sleeping in separate beds. 🤷🏻♀️Oh, and for the record, I’m the one who snores like a freight train. 😂
Honestly, your sex life, and cuddling while awake are far more important than physically sleeping in the same bed. Most couples don't cuddle while sleeping as it can be unconfortable and wake your partner up if you move too much, and getting a good rest is very important. Instead, you can cuddle while watching TV right before bed, or in the morning.
my grandparents slept in seperate bedrooms and no problems noted. it's ok to sleep apart when married. it does not mean there is trouble with the marriage.
Absolutely right 👍
In old movies couple appear to have either separate beds or separate bedrooms, even royalty practiced this.
My wife and I sleep in separate bedrooms. I used to wake up freezing and all the covers wrapped around her. It got so bad that I had to keep a blanket by the bed to keep warm. She also takes up 3/4 of the bed and I have to sleep on the edge or get kicked. I snore and so does she, but she wakes up at the slightest noise. The last straw was when I woke up swinging and gasping, because she was squeezing my nose shut trying to stop my snoring. She also expects me to constantly rub her when we're in the same bed, but she never reciprocates. I go to my bedroom and I get a good nights sleep.
Your wife sounds less than pleasant. I hope she has some redeeming qualities outside of the bedroom.
WoW! Your wife sounds completely exhausting. I'm surprised you don't sleep 10 or 20 miles away from your wife.
@@ChiselMouse Hopefully she's a 90 year-old zillionaire with a heart condition.
👀😳
😂
Even if a situation doesn't allow for separate rooms, sleeping in separate beds is so much more restful so everyone can have their own blankets and space to move.
I've never been in a relationship yet, but couples who have their own space sound like positive if anything. You're together and love one another, but it's nice to have space for yourself.
We've been doing it for 25 years and I would never change. When it's time to throw down we do, but otherwise we enjoy our own space, our own tv shows at night and our different wake-up schedules. We are so happy this way and would never go back. EVER!
Sounds more like a roommate (with benefits) situation, but whatever works! Just kidding I think it’s a great idea
Ideally, separate houses/cottages joined by an enclosed walkway.
YES!
Sleeping in the same room/bed is weird behavior. Grown adults sharing a room, bed, closet, bathroom in a house they pay for, yet their kids and pets each have separate rooms and beds. It’s strange
My favorite great aunt and great uncle went on their honeymoon, where she discovered how badly he snored. They came back, and moved into single bedrooms. They never shared a bedroom after that and were blissfully in love until they passed away 5 decades later.
we slept together the first 20 years, it was ok. when hubby got the c-pap, I moved to the guest room. the noise was intolerable to me. we both sleep well now.
C-pap is supposed to fix the noise issue, not cause it. At least it did for my husband. His machine doesn’t make any noise at all.
Thank you!!!! I’ve been doing that for 17 years of my 20 year marriage. I had my own bedroom
Shared a bedroom for a long time. Lots of snoring. Lots of early alarms snoozed. Lots of hogged blankets.
Separate bedrooms for the last 6 years.
Tomorrow is our 15 year anniversary
My parents had their own bedrooms once me and my siblings left. My mom did sewing in her room. Had own tv and chair. They were married over 50 years.
My husband and I haven’t slept in the same room for almost 5 years. When our son was born, he stayed in our bedroom and my husband eventually moved into another room for his own comfort and so he could sleep without being woke up. We’ve come to realize that it’s beneficial for us to sleep apart. He sleeps with a ton of blankets and I don’t. He likes a fan right on him, I don’t. He goes to bed much later than I do. He snores horribly to the point I’ve literally rolled him out of bed. Lol.
I've never understood how two (or more) people could sleep together. Every time one tosses & turns, gets up to pee, gets up to cough, wakes up in a start from a dream, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, - how do you avoid waking up your partner? I suppose some can sleep through anything, but certainly many cannot. The cost of poor sleep on society must be huge.
We've been married 27 yrs and have had separate bedrooms for the last two years. Between snoring and peri-menapause, it became a necessity!
I saw something somewhere that it wasn't uncommon for a married couple to sleep in different beds or bedrooms if they were wealthy enough to afford more than one bed as well as a room/ home big enough for them.
Anyone who's ever had a slob for a housemate knows what a distracting annoyance that quickly becomes. Having one's own tidy living space(s) can be critical to mental health. When my hoarder housemate finally moved out years ago it was like seeing the sky once again. (Bluebirds were chirping.)
Funny and I totally understand. I've been in a similar situation. Fortunately, it was short-lived. Promised myself to never let it happen again.
There should be no stigma. This could be revolutionary idea for a happier home. 💕
Sleeping separately is the best thing my husband and I ever did. He's a snorer and I'm an insomniac. I never did like sleeping with other people in the bed. Sleeping together is overrated.
Its true completely overated. Sometimes its nice but on a daily? Nope.
Less stress, more freedom. When you sleep beside someone, you feel like you cant shift around freely, which in turn keeps you at a heightened awareness that you shouldnt have when you sleep.
And if you’re a snorer it’s even worse!
Thanks. My husband and I have slept separately, happily for 20 years. Mostly since the nest was empty. We also keep different hours. We thought it was work related until we were both retired and, after a confusing initial period, we just accepted it sharing key times of the day.
Sounds more like it became habit
“Key times of the day” 😉
Unfortunately, many people can't afford the luxury of a two-bedroom house...
Right. There is that.
A daybed in the living room instead of a couch might be a solution for some. If snoring isn't the issue, two beds in the same room instead of just one big bed - most people can sleep just fine alone in a twin.
My husband and I started sleeping separately about 8 years ago. We agree that we sleep so much better. We have a second home we go to for weekends and we sleep together when we are there so it is like a special treat. I do have moments that I feel guilty not sleeping together and feel disjointed. We have been together 30+ years.
I started working in the RV industry in the 80's and a lot of beds were two twin beds instead of a queen.
My husband and I have slept in separate bedrooms for 2 years now and our marriage has never been better! We both sleep sooooo well now!
For reference- been married for 8 years.
Children often have their own bedrooms so why not two fully grown adults? I like it.
Good point
How refreshing! Down with stigmas.
I've always hated sleeping next to someone.
Royalty and affluent couples have slept in separate rooms for centuries. In America, the middle class started the one-room thing.
Journalist: What about sex?
Husband: That’s what my room is for.
😂 expected.
My boyfriend and I have lived together for years and have gradually moved to separate beds, even as our relationship has grown stronger. We read together at night in my bed and he sometimes falls asleep there with me until he wakes crowded and uncomfortable (mine's a daybed) and I sometimes snuggle with him in his waterbed until get hot and uncomfortable. I've always shared beds with my partners before, and have never liked it. Now I do what I want!
Being together TOO MUCH actually can cause issues. Life is about balance.
I've been on both sides. In my first marriage my ex husband and I slept separately after a few years of marriage and I enjoyed having my own space. Now I'm in my second marriage and my husband and I sleep together and its comforting to know he's near me. I can't imagine sleeping apart from him.
My husband and I have been married for 21 years. First marriage for both of us and we didn’t live together before marriage. I can’t imagine sleeping separately from him. It’s comforting for me to have him there and I like to snuggle up in the winter when my feet are cold! Lol! My parents slept together all while I was growing up but they now sleep separately (married 52 years this month!). My mom snores, my dad has a cpap, my dad wakes up earlier than she does…and she now can’t do stairs with age and so she has a bedroom downstairs and he still sleeps upstairs. It works for them and is no indication of a happy or unhappy marriage. I hope I always end up sleeping in the same bed as my husband but who knows what will happen down the road?
My husband and I have been married for nearly 37 years. We've been sleeping separately for over 12 years. He snores and we both need solid rest due to demanding jobs. It's probably extended our lives recognizing the importance of sleep.
One of the reasons for my divorce. My husband could not understand why I couldn't share a bed with him. He took it personally and I just needed a solid 8 hours of sleep!
I'm all about quality sleep, and I can perfectly understand their points. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
I would love to sleep in my own separate bedroom!
Finally. The world knows what I always knew to be true: You should have your own bedroom. You meetup w/ your spouse when it's "that time", and afterwards go back to your own room. Perfect. Hah, there's even one couple who took it up another level: They live in separate homes, right next door to each other. If you can afford it, even better.
Totally!!!
I liked your comments on separate bedrooms, definitely agree with separate bedrooms.
I once heard on an interview with Helena Bonham Carter that her and Tim Burton had separate houses.
We have 2 living rms, decorated as we want, w/our own tv's.....and our own bedrms, it totally wks for us!!!
Separate homes? Why that?
I sleep much better when I sleep alone.
Separate bathrooms probably matters even more…
I've been married for 34 years and have been with my husband for 36 years. He is a heavy sleeper who snores, prefers a warm room, moves too much and until he recently retired was a early to bed early to rise guy. I on the other hand is a very light sleeper, needs a cold room to sleep, I stay up later and needs white noise. With his snoring, I tend to wake him telling him to turn over. About 15 years ago, after every night one of us ends up in the guest bedroom, we decided to make it permanent. If we didn't do that, I'm sure we wouldn't have stay married. Both of us have had too many sleepless nights. I still sleep on my side of the bed eventhough I'm alone. When we travel and stay in a hotel( if only 1 bed in the room) or our trailer, we do sleep in the same bed. He does now use a Cpap that stopped his snoring. I don't care what people think. It works for us.
If it works for them. Then that's all that matters
Totally agree
Yes
😂😂😂😂 when she hit the hot flash stage, she will want to sleep in the refrigerator 😂😂😂😂
Right???
Sharing a bed all of the time with someone sucks. I'm all for separate bedrooms!
My husband and i have been married for 13 yrs and have had separate bed rms for the past 11 yrs and love it.....we have completely different sleep habits...
Snoring is soooo annoyin!!! Theres nothin like sleeping alone and in peace 😴 🛌
I mean, well-rested people tend to be healthier & happier, so whether you have separate bedrooms or even just separate beds, it makes good sense to me to want better health & mental energy for both people in a relationship. You can "visit" one another's room or bed as often as you'd like, and I imagine for some people, that's actually more fun.
Having sleep apnea and my machine would drive someone crazy. Separate bedrooms would be a must.
I have to have total silence, and stillness, to be able to sleep well and that can't happen with the man I married! He snores and turns over way too much during the night. Hence, we've never slept together in the same room for the last 35 years! And I love having my own bedroom to decorate in my style too. Win-win!
I've slept apart from my wife for years would not change a thing.
This is totally true and wise advice. When you are young maybe sharing a room but as you age you need your own space. After 13/14 yrs married my husband and I hit a road bump. I said we can be roommates with separate rooms but we are not leaving each other! We just celebrated 21 years of marriage and are best friends and totally in Love!! Sharing a bed and room is a tradition that needs to change. Everyone needs their own space....and the snoring is absolutely legit! haha
I find that it makes for a lot happier relationship for couples to sleep in their own separate rooms. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and we 😊have slept separately for 3 years, and we couldn’t be happier 😃! Just like the couple in this video, I get the sleep I need, and so does my husband. It’s a win win situation☺️. HOORAY 👏🏼👏🏼
I love to sleep alone in the bed 100% get better sleep. Often, if my partner gets up during the middle of the night, it becomes difficult to fall back asleep. I'm tired the next day. That only lasted so long before he made the choice not to disturb my sleep and sleep in the other room. I appreciate it.
Married nearly 30 years we have separate rooms, can’t remember how it started, I think it was something to do with one of the kids needing to be with me plus hubby gets up for work at stupid o’clock and goes to bed early so we were constantly waking each other up. I love my own room. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to give up your personal space, plus you still get to say, your place or mine 😜
Hear, hear......always struck me as weird to share a sleeping area.
Right there with you. He snores- wakes up middle of night and reads. Separate rooms is THE answer-works great for us.
Healthiest way to sleep is uninterrupted. However you reach that goal is nobody else's business.
This should be more normalized. People can love each other with having very different sleeping habits that need space.
Separate rooms for better sleep!
Hubs recorded me snoring. I sound like an 18-wheeler repeatedly falling and crashing off a 30-foot bridge. I sleep with a fan on, no matter the season. He sleeps under multiple blankets year round. I stay up until 5 a.m. He's in bed by 10 p.m.
There's no way we can sleep in the same room. Don't even get me started on why we also have separate bathrooms.😅
I’ve never liked sharing a room with anyone. I wouldn’t still be married if I didn’t have my own room.
Couples don't sleep together because of some intrinsic need, that's a dumb media myth. Couples sleep together because back in olden times, entire families used to share a single bed. As we became wealthier, houses had more rooms and more beds until it became standard for every child to have his/her own bedroom. Married couples with multiple kids probably can't afford to add another bedroom, but with the falling fertility rate, if married couples have an extra room, why shouldn't they take their own space?
I actually think it's kind of gross to share a bed with someone. While what we do as humans is totally natural, who wants to share a space with someone drooling, burping, farting, and heaven forbid, sleeping nude and having sheets/blankets all over their nether regions!
On a serious note, we need to end the stigma where if a couple doesn't share a bedroom it equates to a bad marriage. I think it's quite the opposite. It doesn't mean couples can't be intimate or have time cuddling for a while, then leaving to go to your own room. As a snoring, restless sleeper, who likes to hog the covers and not worry about getting woken up/waking my partner up, separate rooms is the only way to go.
I'd like my own room. There'd be 'our' room and 'my' room. Plus in my room I could be messy.
Sleeping in separate rooms has saved my marriage!
I'm not and have never been married but the whole thing of having to share a bedroom always felt weird to me when I got old enough to think about it. I'd love to keep my room if I ever live with someone. I think perhaps to women in straight relationships if you could also not share a bathroom it would be super healthy for the relationship. I think the couple needs to have some "rules" though, to ensure they don't start feeling like roommates. Perhaps open doors most of the time? Spouse allowed to come in always, no permission needed? I don't know, smth like that.
Sleeping in the same room in the same bed is a carryover from peasant days when everyone crowded into one space. You can bet the “swells” never slept in the same bed and don’t to this day. I know I don’t! I want my own space. If I want to read, watch my IPad I can do it. Plus don’t have to hear “you’re snoring kept me awake.”
Separate beds? I'd want a separate house! lol. I love my space.
I remember my bf being dismayed about my inability to sleep in the same room w his terrible snoring. Thankfully his therapist clued him in that it's very common. As the years go on I have more and more reasons to have my own bedroom.
🎉😮I keep reading comments about boyfriends & girlfriend cohabiting. Why are people forgoing dating & vetting until marital cohabitation?
You are less lovable if you're cranky all the time from lack of good sleep. :)
I had no idea that separate bedrooms was so common… everyone should do what works for them❤️
My hushed and I have 2 queen size bed pushed together 😂 we just sleep better having our own sleeping space. This couple is a lot like us my bed is always covered in my devices and books lol my husband is neat and in order.
Both sets of my grandparents slept in separate bedrooms. At the time, I just assumed it was something old people did. Lol
Wow... my best friend and his wife do this. I always thought it was weird, until now.
My grandparents have a 3 bedroom house. They each have their own room and a joint room. This is definitely the way to go
My grandparents had twin beds like you see in 1950s tv shows. People assume tv shows showed couples in separate beds due to network censorship, but couples really did do that.
Yup, my husband and I have had separate bedrooms for years. It's great. We've been happily married for 45 years.
Every grandparent or older person I know of always slept in separate bedrooms. I always thought that was the norm!
My husband sleeps in our bedroom and I have slept on a couch for years. We have a spare bedroom that he insists we use as an office even though nobody works from home. I wish I had my own space. He doesn't understand. For the record I am the one who snores.
Interesting. I've been with my partner for 18 years and we shared a bed the first year only. He always wanted his own space and kept completely different hours, so it worked well for him to have a separate bedroom. I was really lonely for a long time, eventually got used to it, and I got used to being on my own and having my own space and separate life. He sleeps in a different house on our property now and it works great for him. Kids and I manage. Some people aren't equiped to share space with others.
I’m single but this has changed my perspective on couples who sleep separately. It’s a great idea!
I feel like a reason why we usually share bedrooms with our partners is because it's so expensive to have another room in your home if you don't necessarily need one, even if it would be nice
Why didn’t they ask the question;
What do you do when you travel? Do you get two hotel rooms?
They might! Or at least two separate beds
Two queens
My husband and I have slept in separate beds for several years. After two hip surgeries he just can’t get comfortable in the same bed with me. When we travel we get 2 beds in same room, but if we travel with our large family, like our summer beach trip, where space is limited, we sleep together. We just kind of grin and bear it, knowing that it’s only for a week.
I grew up with both sets of grandparents. One set always had separate rooms.
I'm perpetually single so I've been sleeping in a bed by myself for the majority of my life. At this point at nearly 30 years old I have no interest in sharing a bed even if I find a partner. I mean I starfish, it's why I opted for a full bed despite sleeping alone.
Not all the time but YES!!! 2 bedrooms is wonderful 💕💕💕💕