Feels good here in the comments to see m not alone. 🥺 I was a very reserved kid in my childhood; so quiet that people would find boring as they were too loud back then. Now that my voice gets louder especially when I speak on phone (aftereffects of talking quietly early years and the other person couldn't hear properly) I only realized lately how loud I've become 😭 That's why I prefer texts : 1) To avoid people lol 2) one might feel m being agitated over phone as I get loud when excited or stressed 3) I work in my room mostly so a quiet house echoes a lot! I am practicing to be calmer when I talk, though I am a calm person who doesn't really talk a lot😐 I just need to control my emotions a lot. Hope that helps✌️
Ditto the same case, but it's too much work to keep calming myself down over a phone call every 2 min and getting failed at it, so i have accepted it that it is who i am... So i like to go to the terrace or someplace where i could not disturb anyone and talk my heart out. And people on the other side of the phone usually enjoy talking to me so i guess it does not affect them.
Thank you so much for this my friends won’t stop telling me I’m loud and starts laughing and make me wanna cry Ik that’s dramatic but I’m already super emotional and insecure about my body, appearance and voice etc. My hearing isn’t great either and when im sick my hearing gets worse and like 25% of my hearing is gone leaving me with like 75% of my hearing i think( I didn’t get it checked but it just very obvious to me) sometimes people get angry saying that I’m too loud. I try not to cry and when I’m home or in a private place I’ll cry my heart out cuz it’s just too much if one person says it another would agree and laugh and make me uncomfortable and feel super guilty too.😢
I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. Especially if you feel like you're struggling to hear (which is definitely worth getting checked out if you suspect that to be true), using the visual cues I mention in this video to read body language will be super helpful, because they can be a signal to you that, even if you can't hear yourself so well, the voice is a little too loud for others.
No one has ever complained about my voice being too loud, except my mom and sister, who are just as loud, and are probably the reason I've had to speak loudly my whole life.
I've been looking for solutions to this problem around the internet and I feel (and hope) your video is the one that will help me. I'm a teacher but not in a school, I teach English in a language academy where you have 6 students in a very small classroom and there are many classrooms next to each other, all of them full at the same time. The air conditioner is not good, it gets hot so a lot of us don't close the door. I've gotten comments (some very hurtful) that they hear me even in the farthest rooms and I don't want to get in the way of my coworkers doing their job. It's lowering my self stem. I've realized that maybe the problem is because I really get immersed into the class and get excited and want to make my students feel energetic so the class is engaging and that's when I talk too loud without noticing at the moment. Thanks for this video, I will apply your strategies!
Hi Diana, I am so glad you found the video helpful! It’s a wonderful thing that you want to excite and engage your students with your content. It sounds like the good news is- you don’t have to work as hard as you think you do to make that happen! Hopefully the tips in this video can help.
When I was under 16 : People : Robin you really need to talk louder. After 16 : People : Robin stop being so loud. Not gonna lie puberty smacked my voice lmao.
My friend used to scream at me. I had to tell him that I could no longer be around him. He was deeply hurt and said that I was not the first to dump him.
@@johndoe-cr3eu Yes, it is really horrible, when you speak too loud and you are rejected like this, it is really hurtful to your soul. That's why we are here watching this video. The next time you have someone who talks too loud, try explaining how YOU feel, not what THEY do. "You're speaking too loudly for me to feel comfortable", and ask to come up with some sort of mutual agreement, like "if I am starting to feel stressed out by how loud you are talking, I will pretend to cough/scratch my nose/pull my earlobe, if you could agree to talk more quietly when I do that? I want to hear you, and I can only do that if it's not too loud for me. Can we agree to something like that?". Very different from "You're screaming at me and I can't stand it. You're always too loud."
Could this be caused by tongue tie? I feel I have speech issues, I am either speaking too quietly or too loud. I have hard time pronouncing words. I am now in my late 20s now, I have always had these speaking issues
I was raised by a hard-of-hearing stepfather and a loud-talking mother, which has probably influenced the volume of my speaking voice. Some people (but certainly not all) complain that my voice is too loud. I’ve even had a couple of strangers on planes tell me to speak more softly. However, I’ve also read that some people have a high sensitivity to noise so perhaps this is why they think I’m too loud. I do my best to soften my voice and I don’t want to offend others but I think it’s rude for a stranger to make such a comment in front of others. It’s very embarrassing and hurtful.
Yea this was a lot better explained than some of the videos I watched. I couldn't understand when they would say speak with the effort of a sigh. But you made it clear thanks
I’m gonna try this and let yall know how it goes cause everybody in the comments is just telling their sob story and very few are giving actual updates on how they’re doing so hopefully this can be the start of a thread? I’ll start first. I’m at work and in a very social setting. Will update after
I have a really loud and i feel for a female a deep voice so my voice carries. My sister tells me all the time i'm too loud and even my boyfriend says i can be loud. I'm really loud on the phone so i'm going to save this video to really help me because i want to change this about myself. I don't mean to be loud
That's another reason I love talking with my family. I'm not talking too loud to my brother....he's as loud as me. We enjoy conversing. Talking is something fun, say stuff you believe! Speak up! Most people wanna talk but not mean it?
My mom has an infinite ammount of patience when it comes to helping me break bad habbits. One of which is talking too loud. When i start talking too loud, she makes a little "lower" hand gesture. That way i dont lose my train ofvthought.
when i get excited about a topic....i will start talking and my borfried ..will be like "babe. .you're loud" and i just say sorry and start whispering . it gradually gets louder as i speak ...so i dont notice it
Yes, if you are speaking too loudly it means you are sending up too much air through the vocal folds, which effectively means you are slapping them every time you speak-- eventually that is going to hurt! Hopefully the tips in this video can help.
Yes talking quieter is a hard goal to keep up consistently. Hopefully some of the tips in this video can help shift the objective into something easier.
“There are all sorts of useful things that you can do to modulate your airflow so that you’re not speaking too loud, but…” What are some of those things? Are one of those things practicing with a noice meter app? Does anyone have a suggestion for a good one to use?
Check out my voice what matters podcast on my website-- particularly the "Breath Support Part 1" and "Breath Support Part 2" episodes, where you learn in-depth how to modulate your airflow. I wouldn't personally necessarily recommend practicing with a noise meter app as it requires you to be too self-conscious in listening to yourself as you talk, but if others have an app they like using, feel free to share here and give it a go!
My voice used to be too quiet and that annoyed people, now my voice is too loud and THAT also annoys people, my grandma literally told me she almost had a stroke listening to me speak... we don’t want to kill Gramma now do we?🤦🏽♀️😭oh boi
I find other people loud. I am very sensitive to sound. But also, they are just LOUD. My best friend of 12 years has RECENTLY been oddly loud in the car. I ignored it the first two times, but just now I said something about it. She said she was not offended but then she seemed agitated and calmed down when I apologized and....I am torn between suffering through it and suppressing my anger. I don't want to lose her. She got angry and got much louder. Right after I asked her "Name, can you lower your voice a little please?" I felt foolish because I could have just born it for ten minutes until she dropped me off at my place. I guess the third time's/annoyance is the charm. She started subtlety saying a story about "ungrateful interns" and "being rude" in an unusual angry way. I don't want to lose my best friend, so I will suffer. But I guess I also have to keep my pain to myself. It's not fair though, why do people get offended instead of being accommodating???
I totally get it- it’s hard when you are feeling like you are being shouted at! Sometimes people feel hurt when they are told they are too loud because often the rising of their voices is coinciding with a rise of intense internal experience, and being told to be quiet feels like their internal experience is being shut down. Sometimes, showing empathy for the experience and saying something like “wow, I can see why that made you really angry” (translate to the specific situation how you see fit) can help the person feel seen and heard, and they then tend to calm down and their volume naturally falls more organically. Maybe not immediately but as the conversation continues. Perhaps worth a shot!
Absolutely what she says... if you validate what the person is expressing or feeling, it makes a huge difference, because they feel heard and someone is on their side. They don't feel alone against the person or situation they are upset about and reimagining being in that situation, but feel like they are with you being heard, talking about it. Like she says: "wow, that sounds really frustrating. They were really rude and ungrateful. I'd be angry too". A sure way to get someone to get louder, more insistent, and turn the anger they feel on you is to tell them to calm down, to say they are being unreasonable, maybe they should forget about it and let it go. That will propulse someone who feels upset inside to turn to you and pile on more emotion, more emphasis on what made them upset, more insistence on what the other person did. Ie the exact opposite of what you want. Also, NO, do NOT just bottle it up. That's a surefire recipe for ruining your friendship, and as some in the comments said, saying they have to cut off the friendship. Try saying that YOU feel overwhelmed when someone is loud, that YOU have sensitive hearing or whatnot instead of THEY are too loud, THEY are overwhelming. If you phrase it as they are assaulting you, they are badly expressing themselves, they will feel attacked and defensive and hurt. If you phrase it as "please, as my friend, help me to hear you, I want to listen, I need you to speak to me more quietly, could you please do that? Could we agree on a signal I could give you if it gets too loud, please?", they are more likely to feel they are helping you. Like if you were sensitive to cold, and they could offer you a blanket and hot tea even if they find the temperature in the room fine for them. I am saying this, as someone who talks too loudly, and I don't want to hurt others, or scare them away. But often things are phrased to me in a way that is so hurtful, or frames me as an aggressor to a friend, or that I am afraid I am a bad person who will be rejected. Or people say NOTHING, especially for a long time, and then I think "oh good, this person likes me as I am, this person doesn't find me too loud, I was ok, whew!", and then I get hit with "you ALWAYS talk too loud, all those times I couldn't STAND how loud you were". At that point it is impossible to undo the past, or redo those times. And it makes one question if one is ever liked.... "do all my friends hate how I talk and just put up with me? Will they tell me today that they've not been able to stand me for the past weeks/years?". Best to tell someone right off, in a kind way, that doesn't blame, but sets standards and a clear consensual action. Then the person who is sensitive feels heard and comfortable that the other person will agree to quiet down, and the person who talks loudly feels heard, and comfortable that they are not torturing someone they care about, and perhaps attacked for their volume later. BTW, BOTH sides need to agree, and DO it. :)
I'm a really loud talker and people have been saying it's annoying, i don't ever notice it though. 😭
Hopefully some of the tools in this video can help you!
Omgg same 😭🤚
Same 🥲
Same here+i have an annoying voice 😔
Same
People saying I'm too loud hurts alot for some reason
Excuse the expression, but I hear you! The voice is an expression of the self so any kind of criticism of the voice can feel intensely personal.
Same 😢
You’re not alone
Same :(
Relate
Feels good here in the comments to see m not alone. 🥺 I was a very reserved kid in my childhood; so quiet that people would find boring as they were too loud back then. Now that my voice gets louder especially when I speak on phone (aftereffects of talking quietly early years and the other person couldn't hear properly) I only realized lately how loud I've become 😭 That's why I prefer texts : 1) To avoid people lol 2) one might feel m being agitated over phone as I get loud when excited or stressed 3) I work in my room mostly so a quiet house echoes a lot!
I am practicing to be calmer when I talk, though I am a calm person who doesn't really talk a lot😐 I just need to control my emotions a lot. Hope that helps✌️
Same goes to me 😢 it's heart aching
Ditto the same case, but it's too much work to keep calming myself down over a phone call every 2 min and getting failed at it, so i have accepted it that it is who i am... So i like to go to the terrace or someplace where i could not disturb anyone and talk my heart out. And people on the other side of the phone usually enjoy talking to me so i guess it does not affect them.
I have a really loud voice and sometimes I don't know how loud it until people tells me 😭😭
That’s often the case! Hopefully the tips around how to listen to others’ body language in this video can help.
Thanks for this video,really helpful. I usually speak out loud and don’t realise it.
Glad you found it helpful. and a lot of people have that problem. :)
Thank you so much for this my friends won’t stop telling me I’m loud and starts laughing and make me wanna cry Ik that’s dramatic but I’m already super emotional and insecure about my body, appearance and voice etc. My hearing isn’t great either and when im sick my hearing gets worse and like 25% of my hearing is gone leaving me with like 75% of my hearing i think( I didn’t get it checked but it just very obvious to me) sometimes people get angry saying that I’m too loud. I try not to cry and when I’m home or in a private place I’ll cry my heart out cuz it’s just too much if one person says it another would agree and laugh and make me uncomfortable and feel super guilty too.😢
I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. Especially if you feel like you're struggling to hear (which is definitely worth getting checked out if you suspect that to be true), using the visual cues I mention in this video to read body language will be super helpful, because they can be a signal to you that, even if you can't hear yourself so well, the voice is a little too loud for others.
No one has ever complained about my voice being too loud, except my mom and sister, who are just as loud, and are probably the reason I've had to speak loudly my whole life.
Don't you just love family?
I've been looking for solutions to this problem around the internet and I feel (and hope) your video is the one that will help me. I'm a teacher but not in a school, I teach English in a language academy where you have 6 students in a very small classroom and there are many classrooms next to each other, all of them full at the same time. The air conditioner is not good, it gets hot so a lot of us don't close the door. I've gotten comments (some very hurtful) that they hear me even in the farthest rooms and I don't want to get in the way of my coworkers doing their job. It's lowering my self stem. I've realized that maybe the problem is because I really get immersed into the class and get excited and want to make my students feel energetic so the class is engaging and that's when I talk too loud without noticing at the moment. Thanks for this video, I will apply your strategies!
Hi Diana, I am so glad you found the video helpful! It’s a wonderful thing that you want to excite and engage your students with your content. It sounds like the good news is- you don’t have to work as hard as you think you do to make that happen! Hopefully the tips in this video can help.
When I was under 16 :
People : Robin you really need to talk louder.
After 16 :
People : Robin stop being so loud.
Not gonna lie puberty smacked my voice lmao.
dude, and it depends on who you are around. i was always talked over so now i guess i overcompensate
@@truthprevails4386 I do this as well , when people try to talk over me I just speak louder as well.
people is deaf bro
Same here…it’s frustrating
You have a beautiful speaking voice.
Thanks for the tips, I'll try to tone it down!
i’m very insecure about how loud i speak, i can’t control it though and everybody makes comments about it
I'm sorry you are feeling insecure. Hopefully the tips in this video will help you feel a little more in control.
Some people talk in a yelling volume that it leaves me feeling extremely stressed.
yes that is very stressful!
Yeah I had a coworker who always talks like she's yelling. It's so annoying.
Same
My friend used to scream at me. I had to tell him that I could no longer be around him. He was deeply hurt and said that I was not the first to dump him.
@@johndoe-cr3eu Yes, it is really horrible, when you speak too loud and you are rejected like this, it is really hurtful to your soul. That's why we are here watching this video.
The next time you have someone who talks too loud, try explaining how YOU feel, not what THEY do. "You're speaking too loudly for me to feel comfortable", and ask to come up with some sort of mutual agreement, like "if I am starting to feel stressed out by how loud you are talking, I will pretend to cough/scratch my nose/pull my earlobe, if you could agree to talk more quietly when I do that? I want to hear you, and I can only do that if it's not too loud for me. Can we agree to something like that?".
Very different from "You're screaming at me and I can't stand it. You're always too loud."
Could this be caused by tongue tie? I feel I have speech issues, I am either speaking too quietly or too loud. I have hard time pronouncing words. I am now in my late 20s now, I have always had these speaking issues
A tongue tie might affect your articulation but it shouldn’t affect volume.
This is perfect, now people will like me! Thanks!
I was raised by a hard-of-hearing stepfather and a loud-talking mother, which has probably influenced the volume of my speaking voice. Some people (but certainly not all) complain that my voice is too loud. I’ve even had a couple of strangers on planes tell me to speak more softly. However, I’ve also read that some people have a high sensitivity to noise so perhaps this is why they think I’m too loud. I do my best to soften my voice and I don’t want to offend others but I think it’s rude for a stranger to make such a comment in front of others. It’s very embarrassing and hurtful.
I certainly agree with her. Thank you so much this was so helpful. I'm glad I watched your video.
you're very welcome!
My friend told me "yes but you don't have to yell"
😂 that’s definitely some helpful feedback!
This was really helpful and has a lot of good information. I will definitely be trying these techniques when interacting with others.
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you found it useful.
Yea this was a lot better explained than some of the videos I watched. I couldn't understand when they would say speak with the effort of a sigh. But you made it clear thanks
@@rich1craftypeak I'm so glad you found the explanation clear! Thanks for watching.
Thanks for this info- I needed this so bad
Happy to help!
I’m gonna try this and let yall know how it goes cause everybody in the comments is just telling their sob story and very few are giving actual updates on how they’re doing so hopefully this can be the start of a thread? I’ll start first. I’m at work and in a very social setting. Will update after
Also I get called loud all the time and always told to keep it down so I know how it feels but imma let yall know if nobody says dat today 🥲👌
My mum constantly yells at me to be quiet, she's done it most of my life. I hope this helps me.
I hope so too, although I would definitely get feedback from other people you trust. Moms aren’t always reliable sources! ;)
First thing
You are beautiful
second
Thankyou
you're welcome!
@@voicewhatmatters I was wondering if you have any telegram channel/group or Instagram page/account 😄
@@Suyassh I'm on instagram @voice_what_matters.I also have a podcast and a newsletter you can sign up for at voicewhatmatters.com.
@@voicewhatmatters check dms
with the nam wolkriz
I have a really loud and i feel for a female a deep voice so my voice carries. My sister tells me all the time i'm too loud and even my boyfriend says i can be loud. I'm really loud on the phone so i'm going to save this video to really help me because i want to change this about myself. I don't mean to be loud
That's another reason I love talking with my family.
I'm not talking too loud to my brother....he's as loud as me.
We enjoy conversing. Talking is something fun, say stuff you believe! Speak up!
Most people wanna talk but not mean it?
Yes, the way we speak is hugely influenced by our families!
When I was younger in middle school I would try screaming so my voice would be quiet and more silent almost damaging my vocals permanently
I been dealing with this like forever
I hope these tips can help!
Love this helpful video!
Thank you! I'm so glad you found it helpful.
My mom has an infinite ammount of patience when it comes to helping me break bad habbits. One of which is talking too loud. When i start talking too loud, she makes a little "lower" hand gesture. That way i dont lose my train ofvthought.
Is this have anything to do with your ears and you are not aware you are talking so loud.
It certainly can have something to do with that, yes!
My coworkers keep saying that I am mad or that i am bossy, the truth i am too loud and can’t change it. I need help
That must be frustrating! Hopefully the tools in this video can offer a good starting place
when i get excited about a topic....i will start talking and my borfried ..will be like "babe. .you're loud"
and i just say sorry and start whispering . it gradually gets louder as i speak ...so i dont notice it
Is it ok for Speakers who talk to an audience close their eyes?
It depends on how long they close their eyes and for what purpose. Eye contact is important for establishing a connection with an audience.
I am a loud talker...but it's too much painful to me... because I feel pain in my throat while speaking
Yes, if you are speaking too loudly it means you are sending up too much air through the vocal folds, which effectively means you are slapping them every time you speak-- eventually that is going to hurt! Hopefully the tips in this video can help.
love you
Would it be rude to send this video to my husband ?
😂
Plz make more on same topic
I'm loud and I talk too much, it makes people uneasy, i want to learn how to be quieter
I hope the tools in this video can begin to help!
Can you make a video do not scream how to voice screaming
Thank you for the question. If I understand you correctly-- are you looking for advice on how to scream in a safe way? Is this for acting purposes?
I try so hard to talk quieter but nothing works 😢
Yes talking quieter is a hard goal to keep up consistently. Hopefully some of the tips in this video can help shift the objective into something easier.
Sometimes i wish i was disabled in speaking ugh ......
Your wish is granted. From now hence forth you will be mute and dumb.
sometimes i be loud but my mom is loud
Yes, how our parents talk definitely has a big influence on our vocal habits, including volume.
Watching this while i have the exact opposite lol
Check out my videos on what to do if your voice is too quiet!
“There are all sorts of useful things that you can do to modulate your airflow so that you’re not speaking too loud, but…”
What are some of those things?
Are one of those things practicing with a noice meter app?
Does anyone have a suggestion for a good one to use?
Check out my voice what matters podcast on my website-- particularly the "Breath Support Part 1" and "Breath Support Part 2" episodes, where you learn in-depth how to modulate your airflow. I wouldn't personally necessarily recommend practicing with a noise meter app as it requires you to be too self-conscious in listening to yourself as you talk, but if others have an app they like using, feel free to share here and give it a go!
@@voicewhatmatters Thanks, I’ll check it out.
😢 today i got slaped from my teacher for that
How awful! I hope these tips will help.
My voice used to be too quiet and that annoyed people, now my voice is too loud and THAT also annoys people, my grandma literally told me she almost had a stroke listening to me speak... we don’t want to kill Gramma now do we?🤦🏽♀️😭oh boi
We certainly don’t! I hope the tools in this video can help you find the middle ground.
I find other people loud. I am very sensitive to sound. But also, they are just LOUD. My best friend of 12 years has RECENTLY been oddly loud in the car. I ignored it the first two times, but just now I said something about it.
She said she was not offended but then she seemed agitated and calmed down when I apologized and....I am torn between suffering through it and suppressing my anger. I don't want to lose her.
She got angry and got much louder. Right after I asked her "Name, can you lower your voice a little please?" I felt foolish because I could have just born it for ten minutes until she dropped me off at my place. I guess the third time's/annoyance is the charm.
She started subtlety saying a story about "ungrateful interns" and "being rude" in an unusual angry way.
I don't want to lose my best friend, so I will suffer. But I guess I also have to keep my pain to myself.
It's not fair though, why do people get offended instead of being accommodating???
I totally get it- it’s hard when you are feeling like you are being shouted at! Sometimes people feel hurt when they are told they are too loud because often the rising of their voices is coinciding with a rise of intense internal experience, and being told to be quiet feels like their internal experience is being shut down. Sometimes, showing empathy for the experience and saying something like “wow, I can see why that made you really angry” (translate to the specific situation how you see fit) can help the person feel seen and heard, and they then tend to calm down and their volume naturally falls more organically. Maybe not immediately but as the conversation continues. Perhaps worth a shot!
@@voicewhatmatters Thank you
Absolutely what she says... if you validate what the person is expressing or feeling, it makes a huge difference, because they feel heard and someone is on their side. They don't feel alone against the person or situation they are upset about and reimagining being in that situation, but feel like they are with you being heard, talking about it. Like she says: "wow, that sounds really frustrating. They were really rude and ungrateful. I'd be angry too". A sure way to get someone to get louder, more insistent, and turn the anger they feel on you is to tell them to calm down, to say they are being unreasonable, maybe they should forget about it and let it go. That will propulse someone who feels upset inside to turn to you and pile on more emotion, more emphasis on what made them upset, more insistence on what the other person did. Ie the exact opposite of what you want.
Also, NO, do NOT just bottle it up. That's a surefire recipe for ruining your friendship, and as some in the comments said, saying they have to cut off the friendship. Try saying that YOU feel overwhelmed when someone is loud, that YOU have sensitive hearing or whatnot instead of THEY are too loud, THEY are overwhelming.
If you phrase it as they are assaulting you, they are badly expressing themselves, they will feel attacked and defensive and hurt. If you phrase it as "please, as my friend, help me to hear you, I want to listen, I need you to speak to me more quietly, could you please do that? Could we agree on a signal I could give you if it gets too loud, please?", they are more likely to feel they are helping you. Like if you were sensitive to cold, and they could offer you a blanket and hot tea even if they find the temperature in the room fine for them.
I am saying this, as someone who talks too loudly, and I don't want to hurt others, or scare them away. But often things are phrased to me in a way that is so hurtful, or frames me as an aggressor to a friend, or that I am afraid I am a bad person who will be rejected. Or people say NOTHING, especially for a long time, and then I think "oh good, this person likes me as I am, this person doesn't find me too loud, I was ok, whew!", and then I get hit with "you ALWAYS talk too loud, all those times I couldn't STAND how loud you were". At that point it is impossible to undo the past, or redo those times. And it makes one question if one is ever liked.... "do all my friends hate how I talk and just put up with me? Will they tell me today that they've not been able to stand me for the past weeks/years?".
Best to tell someone right off, in a kind way, that doesn't blame, but sets standards and a clear consensual action. Then the person who is sensitive feels heard and comfortable that the other person will agree to quiet down, and the person who talks loudly feels heard, and comfortable that they are not torturing someone they care about, and perhaps attacked for their volume later.
BTW, BOTH sides need to agree, and DO it. :)
My in-laws , my husband all hate my voice . Thy sys I talk like Dog
I am sorry to hear that- I must say that seems like an overly harsh critique. Hopefully some of the tips in this video can help.
How do i move the balls of my feet?
So you talk powerfully, why would you quash that just to make the wimpy more comfortable (and enabling their wimpiness).
That all depends on how you define "power." I don't equate speaking too loudly, as it's defined in this video, with power.