Memory Quilts - On Grief, Quilting, & Community
Вставка
- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- Join me on Patreon - / thecatbirdquilts990
Local Grief Groups - www.GriefRecoveryMethod.com
Book - Grief is a Journey, Kenneth Doka - amzn.to/3M1tsUT
/ whatsyourgrief
Projects I'm working on:
/ thecatbird
My Favorite Tools:
PENS
amzn.to/3BAPWH0
CUTTING
Spring Loaded Scissors - amzn.to/3yP2WWx
Rotary Cutter - amzn.to/3zduqGP
Self-Healing Mat - amzn.to/3IY7TRW
Embroidery Scissors - amzn.to/3cnW76L
RULERS
Grid Ruler 5" - amzn.to/3RzFQvI
Non-slip Quilters Ruler - amzn.to/3PeivhN
Biased Binding Ruler - amzn.to/3yQ4lMC
Measuring Tape - amzn.to/3uVACk9
Tailor's Chalk - amzn.to/3zcJ1SQ
PRESSING
Iron - amzn.to/3uYMBxt
Wool Mat - amzn.to/3zcXfTL
Tailor's Clapper - amzn.to/3Pst00I
Quilters Clips (for Binding) - amzn.to/3Od3QBR
Quilting Gloves - amzn.to/3RKTe0m
Sewing Machine - amzn.to/3zaWZVw
Beginner Sewing Machine - amzn.to/3zeFQdi
Thanks to everyone for the kind and personal comments; I read *ALL* of them!
I may not respond to every one (or even most of them this time) but please know that I care about you and value your contribution to this community!❤️
Hello Cathy, firstly I would like to say that I'm SO GLAD that neither Yourself or your Daughter were injured after your respective Car Accidents. Secondly, I would like to say a very heart-felt Thank You to you for your Sincerity & the Love that I felt when I watched your latest Video about Grief & Memory Quilts. I feel bad because when I mentioned losing my Son Adam, I just hoped that you might have a few ideas on creating Memory Quilts. I really didn't mean to upset you or make you cry............Now I wish that I could somehow give you the Biggest Hug & let you know how much your Beautiful Video means to me. I am so grateful for the day in September 2022 when I was looking for any new & different Quilting Channels & I found yours. Your warm, friendly & "chatty" way of providing Information & Tutorials is so watchable & easy to listen to. I know it's going to take myself & my other Children a very long time to work through our Grief, but we will endure & (in time) I will be looking forward to making 7 Memory Quilts to honour my Son Adam.......One for each of his four Sisters & three Brothers. Thank You for having such a Huge Heart!
Warmest Regards & Much Love, Zoe ❤
Cathy, I've not commented on your videos before. GRIEF is hard!! You are so precious. Not everyone gets this... many say "get over it." You know. You get it. I turned to quilt making a year after my husband died. I joined a quilt guild. This has opened up a new avenue in my life! These women in my guild welcomed me with open arms into their family. It has been a very comforting experience and continues to be so.
I found you about 6 months ago and started watching you. You, too, have become my friend. I've started on my men's shirt quilt journey now as well. Thank you for your video this week. I'm sorry for the ordeal that you are going thru. I appreciate you for exposing your feelings, leaving yourself vulnerable. I feel too, through your videos, that i am too a part of your family.
May God bless you.
Thank you, Cathy.
I cried along with you. I needed to hear this and feel it. I really appreciate you and Paul.
Oh my, so glad that you and your daughter are ok. So sorry that had happened to both of you. Life sure does make for some challenges. Your communication on this channel as been so very clear that you love and care. As many others have said, I too have grown to love you and your passion for quilting… what a shiny example you are of what we all need right now! Kindness and caring, love for one another the things we go thru and how we all connect with one thread! Sewing! Also you are so very blessed to have Paul who listens and helps with your love of quilting. What fun you two have shopping and filming and we all see that amazing relationship! All the best to you in this rough patch…
Maybe a huge zoom meeting might be in order!!! We can all cry and laugh together!!! Even just online for 30 minutes what a fun online live that can be!!! 💖
Quite a few years ago my dear daughter-in- love handed me a box of my grandson’s old clothing and asked me to make him a quilt. I began the project with gusto. Then when I was almost finished the flimsy, my sweet, loving daughter in love died suddenly at 28 years of age. We were all devastated, especially my son and 9 year old grandson. I couldn’t even look at the quilt. As we all lived together, my DIL and I had spent many hours looking at and talking about, the quilt. About a year later my grandson asked if I was still making him a quilt. I pulled it out and finished it within two weeks, including some of his mom’s clothing. He LOVED it and there was not a dry eye in the room when I gave it to him. Later I pulled out all of the scraps from his quilt and made a quilt for my son’s mother-in-law. She was astonished and obviously cherished the quilt. Life has moved on and my son has a wonderful new partner and a brand new baby. Of course I made a quilt! Quilts are there, in times of devastation and joy! They are the vessel into which we can pour our love, sorrow and joy!
Cathy and Paul, I'm thankful to hear that you and your daughter are physically ok but please give yourselves time to be gentle and heal from within. If that means you need to take some time from UA-cam or slow it down a little - please know we aren't going anywhere. This loving and supportive community you have created loves you, and all of us here, so very much. Not any of us, viewers or subscribers, ever imagined that we would be on the receiving end of more than just men's shirts and quilts! You have become a gift to us in more ways you could ever imagine. I am now embracing you both in a hug with my (imaginary) quilt. I might not have made a quilt yet - but boy I have a wonderful stash of the most beautiful fabrics sourced and broken down from thrifted men's shirts. ❤
Dear Cathy & Paul, I’m so glad to hear that you & your daughter are only a little shaken, it could have been so much worse. My Grandpa Frank would say, “if it’s a problem that can be fixed with money then it isn’t a problem”. Cars are replaceable!
The first time I watched this, I cried all the way through. You touched my heart so many times. Since Friday I’ve watched it twice more & I am almost overwhelmed by your wisdom, kindness & caring. You & Paul have created a loving, supportive community and I’m so grateful to be a small part of this.
I’d like to send hugs to all our CatBirders that want & need hugs - today, tomorrow, & the next day. ❤
Crying is the gift of healing through all phases of this rollercoaster we call life. Your moving thoughts you shared today within this community of quilters and UA-cam visitors was meaningful and worthwhile. Grief may never seem to end for any one of us, but it does lead us to a better place at times when we least expect it to. Today’s session evoked a sense of giving that I will long remember for how special it made me feel to know that I am part of entire community who loves and cares for others just because we can and do. Love back at you ALL who need that hug, that reassurance of purpose and the time (for however long it takes) to heal where you can feel a sense of belonging. We are all here for one another. Thank you Cathy and Paul for filming today’s session. How very difficult and brave it was for both of you to share your thoughts and filming expertise in helping to reroute that map of your life and ours together by being here in spite of those bumps in your own roadway of life experiences and personal challenges. The finished trip around the world quilt draped behind you was spot on as a backdrop for such a somber and loving chat…because you had a lot to say about it. May we all continue to be comforted by connecting through touch, thought and conversation. You all matter and I thank God for allowing us a pathway through technology to connect here.🙏💕😔😪 My prayers are with each one of us whenever we may need that support of a caring embrace in thought. Life is wonderful and time shared has a way of letting you know that.
So very well said!❤
@@borgnyo Thank you. It was heartfelt and spontaneous.💖
Dear Poppies, your eloquence overwhelms me. Yes, We Are Community! Yes, we are connected. Thank you for saying what I’ve been feeling. Glad to know you😊❤
@@andreasavedge3276 Glad to know you as well Andrea. FYI, my name is Pamela. One of these days LOL I will finish a WIP or two and try to share its completion with the group when I do. I learn so much from all of you quilters out there. Thank you for following this feed and for taking the time to read one another's comments. It does matter to us all.
I am saddened to hear your viewer lost her son, my deepest condolences and prayers.
I am sorry to hear of the two accidents. I will pray for your healing and comfort.
Your videos came in at the perfect time. I was not a sewist or a quilter, I had done two quilts prior. I had watched my mother quilt over the years. Then your video popped up, my stepson's father had just passed, he had a hard time letting go. At the last moment before my stepson turned over the keyes of his father's home, he said take what you want. Your video of making shirt quilts popped into my mind. I quickly grabbed the cotton shirts. He asked why the shirts I told him my mother used them for donation quilts. But because of your video I was determined to make him a memory quilt. Started as a throw size, finished as a very large king size, and carefully hand quilted. I made a second for my wife, a small throw size with the left overs.
It brought them to tears of joy. I despised the deceased, but it wasn't about me but them celebrating the life of someone inportant to them whom they shared a son and happy memories. These quilts will continue to bring them comfort over the years, all because you shared your love and gift of making quilts out of shirts. I would have never thought of making a quilt from shirts.
Thanks for sharing, thanks for embracing, thanks for your inspiration!
You taught me how to handle a shirt and go slow!
Grief is hard and as a 20yr. breast cancer survivor I can truly say that quilting saved my life. I haven't made myself a quilt yet because I gift them with happiness. ❤
❤❤❤😘
After blessing so many others you deserve to make one for yourself, then you can continue giving them away 🥰
Oh Cathy, praising the Lord that you and your child were both protected. ❤️ I have to say, you put into words and tears something that is so very real. Valentines Day 2021 we learned that our son had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I left work as soon as I got word, with a knot in my stomach. I walked in circles for five minutes and thought, he will need a quilt for chemo. That quilt was started and finished in three days so that we could take it to him before he started chemo and couldn’t have visitors because of Covid. The whole time I prayed for him, remembered all the good times we have had, and poured my love into him through quilting. After he passed away 4 months later, the grieving was overwhelming. But I have a FB quilt group of some great friends that held me up. I pray we can always be there for each other. You are a gem, my dear. ❤️
Hi, Cathy. I lost my mom at 12yo, at a distance, in a hospital without a chance at say goodbye and life has ever since been a journey of grief. Envious of cousins who had their mom into adulthood s by then my dad who was stoic was not interested in transitioning to parent of an adult child. So I lost both of them and never felt that security again. Grief shapes us and there will be joy again, maybe greater joy for having walked a sorrowful path. Thank you for you time to make videos and touch hearts.
Thank you for sharing your heart today. You are spot on about grief. I just lost my 85yo mother-in-law on March 14th due to cancer. The timing of your video is perfect for me. ❤
Oh Donna. I'm so sorry for your loss. 😔 And glad that this video was a good one at the right time for you. ❤️
Thank you for your videos, your words, your tears, your caring heart. For every person who comments, you are surely reaching many more who just listen and take in your calm voice and kind words. Quilting does “stitch us together” and “sew” do your videos. Thanks to Paul, watching you cry had to be hard. Film when you’re ready. We will be here. ❤️
Thank you so much for your sensitive thoughts, I have been on a bit of a journey myself as I inherited the unfinished quilts and stash of my dear friend and quilting buddy who died aged just 47 leaving a husband and 3 daughters aged 16 to 22. I promised to finish her quilts, and I'm gradually doing so as well as making new quilts from her stash. Since she died 2 grandchildren have been born and other family events have ben celebrated with a quilt. It is a joy and a privilege but also very sad at times. Working with ones hands is so powerful and therapeutic and I'm really grateful for the community that you have created. I'm so thankful that you and your daughter were unharmed physically. Blessings xx
You are precious, Cathy. I was tasked to create 4, yes 4, memory bears for my grandson’s wedding. You, dear one, taught me how to break down the shirts to begin. Making beautiful things to fill the empty spaces in our soul where a loved one once lived. God bless you!
I am making three bears for my niece’s and nephew’s children. Their mom, my favorite SIL, passed three years ago. I procrastinate because I like having her things with me for awhile. Now a new baby will be born and I think he needs a hug from his grandma, whose smell he will only know because it will be on his bear.
No, I'm not crying. I believe learning to quilt was a place for me to place all the excess love that had nowhere to go after losing 3 incredibly important people in a short time. I've mentioned before making quilts for my 9 grandkids during the pandemic. I'd never quilted before but taught myself while watching people like you, Cathy. Learning to quilt while learning to cope with my new world was a very productive time for me. Yes, it is hard but it is also beautiful, frustrating, wonderful and a great way to make new connections. Glad you and yours are physically OK. The emotion and trauma will be dealt with as you have each other. Thanks for this video and sharing yourself with us!
Thank you Cathy. Your words and thoughts are special. You matter to us, too!
I appreciate you sharing about your mom. Losing a mother and missing those memories as a young adult is hard. I lost mine when i was 24 and she was 48 (cancer). Now, my daughter is turning 24 and I'm 50--I continue to experience grief thinking of me at her age and living without my mom. I hurt that my mom never got to feel the pride of having grandkids. I understand your meaning of 'authority'.
Last night my husband recognized I was lost in thoughts (health, family, son wrecked too!- he's fine, $, work) and he so simply and sincerely said, "Do you need to go sew?" Oh my, it felt so good! I sewed a block I already had cut. I got into my space for a much needed refresh and woke up this morning to hear your heart.
Life is hard. LIfe is good. Our experiences make us who we are and enable us to have compassion and connect. Thank you to you and Paul for your connection with us.
My world changed abruptly last November 15. I spoke to my eldest daughter at 7:30 am as I did every day. Just checking in. At 9:05 I received a call from the police that she had died suddenly. I had just talked to her an hour & half previous. She was 38, mother of 3 teenagers and she had epilepsy & lupus.
I’ve always processed grief differently than typical because I function in crisis mode my whole life. It seems as the time passes my grief is more acute. Today, watching your video was the first time I’ve cried for her. For me it was the realization in that I will never hear her voice, hug her, help her.
As I sort through her estate, I’ve pulled so many of her music related tshirts to make a quilt in her memory. She was a professionally musician, loved music. There are so many, I can make a quilt for all 3 of my grandkids.
Thank you for doing this video.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. The thought of you making quilts in your daughter's memory is beautiful - for yourself and her 3 teenagers. Be gentle and know that we walk alongside you in your journey ❤
Terri, I am so very sorry for your loss & I can relate so well. (I am the Viewer who lost her son that Cathy mentioned in her Video).
Life is so PRECIOUS & I will never take it for granted. I loved my Son unconditionally as im sure you felt the same way about your daughter. You are in my Prayers & i am thinking of you. Warmest Regards, Zoe from Tasmania Australia
I had only one piece of suitable clothing for Mum, a pair of purple! patterned 3/4 cotton pants. As I make a lot off scrap quilts those pants have gone into smaller blocks, a bow tie, the missing u from Sunday Morning Quilts etc and I smile when I catch sight of that purple. I then had an epiphany , and added a heart button to every block in multiple quilts that I had used the fabric in, so that my kids would also see and know that fabric. Just a little hint to people , if the family who you are making the quilt for want to be involved in the actual construction, break down the clothes like you do the shirts before they come. Seeing the clothes of a loved one actually being cut up can sometimes be too much for them. Glad you are okay. My husband was also watching and quietly passed me a tissue.😊
Dearest Cathy and Paul, I don’t think you both realise how much you touch my heart and soul every time . I think so many of us can say we made new friends when we 'met' you both on UA-cam.
I'm shedding tears along with you...its been one helluva day here too but not quite like yours ♥ I can completely emphathise with your experiences and feelings right now as a car accident survivor too, though my story is ongoing and not important right now. It's traumatic and shocking to you physically, mentally and emotionally and to also have that happen to your daughter doubles all of that pain for you because you're her Mum and Dad. I'm so sorry you've all had to go through that. I am so thankful that you are both not seriously injured. It is truly awful to hear. It broke my heart to see you so upset. I dont like seeing my friends hurt and sad and not being able to help. Take it really really easy and be gentle and kind to yourselves ♥
Well said, Kim!
@@victoriaclifford2715 thank you Victoria ❤️
Dear Kim, you write for me, too. It’s reassuring that you are part of this community, you are quite eloquent. Thank you ❤
@@andreasavedge3276 thank you so much for saying so Andrea. I shall treasure that ❤️
My grandpa is 92, almost 93, but he is ready to be done and go be with my grandma again. He still has all of my grandma's things, so the plan at this point is for me and the others who sew to turn all their clothes into memory bears and bunnies for each of their descendants. It will be a challenge and a privilege to create something that we can each hold onto of my grandparents.
In 35 days, it will be 10 years since my husband died. Pharmacist error.
It's sometimes hard to watch your channel, because of the memories it dredges up. And right now, just the title of this video was really hard to click on.
I was blessed to have my pastor come from California to New Mexico to celebrate his funeral mass and bury him. And my local pastor hosted him in the parish rectory. I couldn't say anything much, couldn't pray. I don't remember much from those days. A lot of crying. I'm crying now.
What I do remember is Fr. Steve telling me that when we have no words, every tear is a prayer.
And yes, quilts are hugs. never ending hugs.
Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how hard it is to watch my channel and hear of my role as pharmacist (or when I reference my work)---much less click on a video about grief from me. I am humbled and honored that you do watch my videos despite the memories that arise. Thank you for commenting today....you are in my heart as you approach the anniversary of your husband's death. Those milestones are so hard (and for me) make it seem like yesterday. Grief is so hard.❤️
At 64 years old I have not had to experience the loss of a parent, and was not close to my grandparents when they died. I have experienced a still birth at 22 weeks, and 4 miscarriages at 7-12 weeks. But I have been blessed with 11 wonderful children and 18 ( soon to be 20) grandchildren. I am now 5 years in on a journey with Adrenal cortical carcinoma. 2 surgeries before the cancer was diagnosed, and 2 since. Immunotherapies, radiation, cryoablations. In January my oncologist said with no more treatment 6-12 months would be his best guess, but we can try chemotherapy. After 2 rounds of chemo my Ct scan yesterday showed the tumors to be stable, which is good news, and I started round 3 of treatment today. The second outpatient infusion tomorrow, then 2 days in hospital for the next 2 treatments. Then a long drive home and a week or two of fatigue. All I can think of is how I need to get quilts made for the 2 upcoming grandchildren. And not let my customers (I do longarm quilting) down. And I want to leave quilts for future grandchildren, and wedding gift quilts for my yet to be married children… hoping to live to see my children’s children get married. Worried about my elderly parents and knowing how hard it is for them to see me sick. All I can do at times is just sew crumbs together to relax.
Oh Michelle. I’m so sorry. Having a cancer diagnosis is it’s own burden-not only the sickness, but the worry for the future and the sense of responsibility/care for your loved ones is so hard. I imagine this is how my mom felt when she was sick. 😔 Please be kind to yourself today and in the weeks to come. All my love to you (and your family) as you face this difficult time. ❤
Sister (because in Christ & quilting we are sisters) you just sew those crumbs together and before you know it you will have a grand quilt! Prayers for you to recover completely!!!
You are so Smart, genuine and caring.. From the first time I found your channel it felt familiar... You bring so much joy!!! sending mental flowers , hugs and positive healing energy!! for you and your daughter... Big hugs from grammy Dana
Cathy…what a beautiful video! ❤ We are dealing with many different forms of grief in this life, but as you said, there is also good in this life. I lost my mom to cancer/Covid in 2020 and during her treatments I watched You Tube videos and taught myself to quilt. Today when I am sewing my quilts it gives me peace and happiness remembering what a great, giving, loving woman she was and as an educator how many lives she touched. 🎉 My prayers for your family and all who are in the midst of all forms of grief. 🙏🙏🙏
Quilters and makers of all sorts are incredibly generous and loving. How else can you spend endless amounts of time making and then giving away a quilt? Life is hard, it takes time to let go of the grief and loss. I think in time the pain lessens too. We never forget our loved ones, but we are able to deal with the loss better. Hang in there everyone ;)
Dear Kathy, I just looked at all the comments a d read a lot of them. What an emotional toll it must take for you to read all and respond. You are providing a safe place for so many to share their heartaches . It’s not just about sewing is it? I worry about you, working hard, a long commute, a family, etc. can you work less or closer to home or retire, this you tube job is much more important than you ever thought it would be, I’d guess. The world of Cat bird quilts needs you. Take care of yourself ! 🥰🥰
Thank you, Carolyn. 🥰 Yes, there is a big emotional demand in reading and responding to comments! I do love it, too, though, so it's hard to know how to manage my time (and my emotions/energy) and when to not respond! I do wish I could work closer to home or less (or retire! What bliss that might be!) but for now, this is just where I am. 😘 I'm so glad you view this as a safe place, and I'm so thankful for your kind heart in thinking of me! ❤️
Cathy, First, I want to tell you I am so grateful that you and your daughter were not seriously injured in the car accidents.
Then I want you to know how much I appreciate you and have learned so much by watching your videos. I have made 3 memory quilts from the flannel PJs that belonged to my father-in-law. There is still one more on my sewing table to complete. Memory quilts are true gifts of love. Love from the person that passed and love from the quilter that makes them. Making them for others is a blessing for me. It heals us
Cathy, I am so very sorry to hear about these accidents. I am so thankful to hear that there were no major injuries for you and your daughter.
Your reflections are very wise and personal, thank you for your vulnerability. Quilting really is so much more than just sewing., Because it is so multifaceted. It can mean something different to every individual at any point in our life lives.
I will be praying that Jesus would bring comfort, healing and peace to you and yours ❤️🙏🏻
❤❤
I had to stop and comment. I know a thing or two about grief. I have lost family members like most of us have (or will). My father’s death was welcome in the end, he suffered greatly from brain cancer. My beloved grandmother passed in June at the age of 99 and we loved each other beyond measure! I do, however, have a unique perspective, as I work in the Death Care industry. I am an administrator at a cemetery. My job is to help people on the worse day of their lives. I have had a few other jobs, but Jesus in heaven created me for this very job. I love my work. With all of that, my small/medium-ish town cemetery has been purchased by a very large company and it appears that my part in this is coming to an end. Many people are not in agreement with this new direction and are leaving. I will most likely be one of them. I am grieving so. I want to continue, but I’m afraid that won’t be possible. Everyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE my job and they even see the sadness that has surrounded me. This is it’s own form of grief and I’m not sure how to make a change as a 54 year old who doesn’t want to change. Grief is hard, I know from ALL sides. Thank you for allowing a place where we can pour out our hearts and be a community for others!
Dawn, I just want to reassure you that this change in your job is the beginning of an even better way for you to serve. Try to be open to the possibilities this ending might be making the way for. ❤️
You are so kind & gentle. Such a beautiful heartfelt video. Your mother would be so proud to have such a caring, loving daughter. ❤️
So well said, Cathy ! I just love this heartfelt message ! I've just come off a three day quilt retreat where I arrived a stranger, and left a friend with precious connections to not only fellow quilters, but fellow travelers through many kinds of griefs and losses. I was feeling a bit bereft this morning, so your video was truly a God send ! You nailed it , and I pray it will touch many hearts where they hurt , just like it has mine !
I found your channel a few weeks ago and it motivated me to offer to make a memory quilt for a friend that lost his father last year. His mum hadn’t been ready to remove his clothing until I offered to make something from them.
Thank you for opening your heart, being vulnerable and sharing your thoughts and feelings about grief. I didn't realize I needed this video, but I did. I'm so thankful that you and your daughter weren't seriously injured. ❤ I'll pray that things get settled smoothly in the coming days.
Life has been a struggle this week, and I've been sad due to health problems. I have fibromyalgia and sewing motivates me to push through the pain because I love it so much. I grieve my health and for what I'd like to be able to do. My mind moves a million miles an hour but my body can't keep up sometimes! I hate to complain because I'm so blessed but it's hard. We don't get to skip the grieving process.
Our daughter came over today to play with our embroidery machine and make a label for a baby quilt. We talked and laughed while celebrating a new birth. We talked about everything we needed to and it was good. It's a beautiful connection to create and share with others.
That's what you do here, and it's beautiful. I didn't know we could share that with people we haven't met. My husband and daughter know who Cathy is. Sometimes it's because you share a beautiful quilt or say something funny. I was picking a seam today and told my daughter that you call it a seam reaper lol. Now I call it a seam reaper too.
Thank you for being you! You and Paul put so much into your videos and how much you care is obvious. I feel like I'm listening to a friend while I'm watching. You've been here for me when I haven't been able to do anything but watch someone sew. You've made me laugh and today, you made me cry. You are precious ❤
I want to make a memory quilt in honor of my dad…I have one planned but I’m not ready. I have to say I’m so sorry of the loss of your mom. I was a breast cancer patient 30 years ago with a 3 year old and was 36. My family wasn’t near me and my little family had to survive just the 3 of us. We are still together and 30 years feels heavy. Thank you for your warm friendship and talking with us today.
Hi Cathy, your thoughts remind me we all believe we have ultimate control of our lives. While we can wear seatbelts, drive according to road conditions, and follow road rules, we cannot account for a slippery road, a sudden downpour, or another road user who is just too tired to be driving. Life is full of random acts that happen to random people, and the only thing you can do is build on your resilience and adaptability.
Thank you Kathy for sharing your heart and time in your extremely busy life. Your sweet and tender spirit is a blessing to us all
Phew, thankful you all could hug at the end of the day 🙏🏻
I am making a memory quilt of my mom’s work wardrobe (60’s & 70’s); double knit pant suits & dresses. She is 94, & ‘has a lot to say’ about each outfit as I cut it up into squares. The quilt is inspired by double knit quilts that my grandmother gifted my older siblings on their weddings.
I too have double knit quilts from my mom and a dear friend. They will last for generations! I just hope the thread will last half as long🥰
Say it Sister. I think a lot about thinking because I am a teacher. I've come to believe that our subconscious brain works on things even when our conscious brain is distracted. Be that grief or a complex problem, it is working. I get so many inspired ideas about lesson plans while I'm driving. I think sewing works as that mental space that helps us to process below the surface while we few our love into the fabric. And that is part of why we feel so much better after an hour of sewing. We aren't avoiding our problems. We are processing in a way that feels so much healthier and peaceful. Hugs to all who are grieving, as we all are.
That is very interesting, I like that. Sewing isn’t escape but coping and processing . Thank you. I’ll bet you are a tremendous teacher🥰
I made a screenshot of your comment because it spoke to me so well. It all makes sense for me. I had thought I was taking my mind off of the things I worry about for which I can’t control, but I have a better understanding of the calm and comfort I experience while sewing. Thank you.
Your post is unbelievably timely……my partner passed away two months ago and I am making 5 lap quilts from his shirts for his dearest friends……I am so lucky that I have quilting to lose myself in and to have the skill to make a fabric hug for his friends……thank you so much for your comforting and deeply personal words
How lovely to have the capacity to give out of your own pain. That is a clear picture of the depth of love you shared with your partner. What a beautiful soul you are.
Oh my goodness, K. I'm so very sorry for your loss. 😔 I'm blown away by your generosity toward your partner's friends---you are lucky indeed, as are they. May you find comfort and deep healing as you sew these memories of your partner into beautiful quilts.❤️
@@jennjennedington279 I am sorry to hear of the loss of your partner. In making these 5 quilts, you are giving of yourself and of the dear memories of your partner. Know that we walk alongside you in your journey.❤
Came upon this video today. Thank you for being so... candid, and empathetic and "real". You are a beautiful soul. Grief does follow us, including beautiful memories of our dearly departed. Those memories are the gifts we carry for a lifetime.
The process of quilting and the community of quilters is magical. I have been nodding through this entire video.
My mind would not settle last night and I tossed and turned. To the living room couch at 3 a.m. I wrapped in a quilt made from scraps and listened to you speak. I am sorry you and your daughter had awful car accidents and thankful you are okay. I am still digesting so much of what you said. Thank you Cathy. Through some sad times in my life, it has been the sewing, knitting and now quilting that gave me a voice when words failed me. You have created a very safe place and I thank you both Life is so precious, scary, wonderful and fleeting full of love and grief. I am so grateful that the path of my journey crossed yours and others here. ❤
What a time for this video for me. Last year on this day my son died. I took the day off work today so I could let todays grief be whatever it needed to be.
Grief is weird sometimes. It has a mind of its own. Sometimes it forces itself in full force for reasons you can’t quite name. Other times it stays away on days you are expecting it to come.
Anyway. I’ll see what today brings.
Thank you for your video.
Bless you my friend! May your day be filled with precious memories and smiles of your son! May the God of all comfort and peace be with you today and everyday.
May God bless and comfort your my dear. I’m so sorry for your loss.🥰
A quilt IS like a hug. I make them for the people I love and express my love that way. My hope is my quilts get loved to tatters. Love to you. Glad you and your daughter are OK.
Thank you for sharing. I found your videos since having to take time off to deal with some pretty bad stress. You have been a part of my healing process. Your passion for what you do and your humour have been bright spots. I will be praying for you
My nephew and his wife lost their baby girl, who was born with a congenital heart defect, after 5 short weeks of life and open heart surgery, on my birthday almost two years ago. This coming Tuesday, they are scheduled to give birth to a little boy. Their joy and their grief are inextricably intertwined. Your video reminded me about them, and I just wanted to share.❤
Oh that’s so hard when you lose a baby in the family. Our little granddaughter (the first girl grandchild after a string of boys) died at the age of 6 1/2 weeks of SIDS. I thought we were going to lose our daughter as well as she kept saying she wanted to die and go be with her baby. She said Abby was crying for her and she must be so hungry. I was terrified. Then she perked up the day before the funeral because she wanted her baby to have a beautiful funeral. That helped her cop until the burial and then it was full on grief. Abby would be turning 28 this summer on July 25th. I have this block of time from July 25th to Sept. 9th every year that I think of as Abby time because those were the days we had her for. All together she has 5 brothers - my daughter so wanted a girl but it wasn’t to be. Cathy said the most important thing about grief - it’s HARD!
@@conniemurdoch8528 Wow. I know my nephew and his wife are not the first or last to lose a newborn. They have found amazing friends in a group of others who have faced the ordeal of congenital heart defects--some who have lost their children, and others who face life with a sick child that is full of surgeries, hospitalizations and uncertainty. Surely there are so many wounded heroes walking around this world. ❤️
@@Siennaflower
@@Siennaflower My daughter worked hard at grieving. Most of her time was spent in my home office (they had moved in with us and sold their house) online with a group of other mothers who had lost babies to SIDS. Then, she and her husbands cousin joined together to start a fundraiser and awareness event called “Breakfast with the Easter Bunny” that has run every year on the Sunday before Easter. It’s a pancake breakfast where there are characters like the Easter Bunny to entertain the children. That occupied her every year for 5 or 6 years at which point she handed off the reins to a different group of Moms. Then she started the difficult task of rebuilding her life. She went back to school to get an education to be able to support her two boys and eventually remarried and had 2 more sons. That was the beginning of more tortuous years as she had a lot of other tragedies that befell her family. We were that kind of family that couldn’t get a break as there was always something we had to struggle through. But on the bright side we have gotten to be damn good at getting through stuff. Grief is hard.
Just know Cathy that we as a community appreciate you and Paul for putting out this difficult video. We love you guys as well. You are all in my prayers! ❤️🙏
Bless your heart Cathy! Sending love and healing hugs to you and your precious daughter. I’m so grateful that you are both physically unharmed, but the experience is terrifying and shocking to say the least. Please continue to care for yourself and one another while you recover. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing with us and for caring for your quilty family over this year.
As a family of friends we will continue to support you and one another during our journey together. Your support and kindness has made such a difference in the lives of your viewers/friends. Isn’t this lovely world of making quilted hugs a weird and wonderful place?
Healing hugs 🥰
This is the sweetest thing I’ve ever felt on UA-cam. I cried right along with you today. As a 67 yr old woman who usually thinks age is just a number, I’m not elderly… I fell getting out of the bathtub on Saturday. I slipped on my slipper, grabbed for the counter to catch myself, but went down on my right cheek & lip. I’ve. Got a busted lip, a swollen cheek, and black eye. I’m thankful I didn’t break anything. Sunday I woke up with a black eye, today(Monday) it’s even blacker and my cheek is showing signs it’s going to be bruised as well. I walk early mornings, 4 miles M-F with my neighbors. Today it was dark and foggy and I, for the first time felt fear that I would fall again. I don’t like that feeling. I was crying as you spoke about a new fear, maybe a loss of security, maybe feeling my full 67 years. And I need community, like you say. We all have something, I’m glad we can live with our ‘something’s’ together in this community❤
Karen, I'm so sorry to hear about your fall--so very scary! (and eye-opening. we are all simultaneously more fragile AND more resilient than we think!) Thank you for your kind words and support and for crying along with me---those tears are healing, too! 😘
❤️
Thank you so much for sharing with me. Over the past month I found you on UA-cam and I have been binge-watching all your quilting videos. I haven't tried quilting with shirts or anything other than fabric but I'm going to start soon. I really love the way you teach!!!!!
Dearest Cathy, you are so incredibly brave!!! Thank goodness you and your daughter are physically safe. I think I speak for many of us in this community that we are so very lucky to have you, paul and your videos. We wouldn’t be without you and your laughter, your musings and your love. 💚 In a time of grief a friend simply said nothing, but opened her arms and hugged me…it was exactly what I needed…so here is your quilty hug🤗🤗🤗 no words, just open arms, warmth, understanding and much love 💕 Annette
You have created a safe place where people have obviously felt able to share.
Oh Cathy, I think we both needed this talk. ❤ Life is very hard sometimes, but very precious all of the time. Glad you and your daughter were not hurt, and I hope you get all the logistics straightened out. Btw, I cried with you the entire video. Thank you for all of the heartfelt words. You truly are one of a kind.
Thanks for bringing your whole self here, Cathy! I was with a grieving group of young people last night and knowing how I needed to show up without "all the right words" stirred up anxiety earlier in the week. So, I (even though I said I was not starting a new project until I finished something) got out something new to work on and keep my head and heart busy. Quilting has been a form of mindfulness and contemplative prayer for me through the last few years particularly. Praying for you and all of us here who are creating our way through tender times in life. Peace to you. 🧡💙🦅🐯 Carol
Thank you for your heart felt message yesterday on grief. I love how you apeak from the heart! I am so thankful that you and your daughter were not injured in the car accidents and hope that no one else was hurt! Quilting is my saving grace along with the quilting community. So many helpful and giving people that I have run across these last several years. I grieve the loss of having my husband at home as he is in Long Term Skilled Nursing with Alzheimers. He is in the advanced stage and has logopenic progressive aphasia which means that he cannot articulate a sentence. This poor man is only 69 and has been suffering with this horrible disease for more than 13 years ( I call it robbery). Sewing, quilting and my faith are what gets me through all of this. Keep up the wonderful journey that you and your husband are on with your UA-cam channel. God's Blessings to you and all of your viewing community. Love MaryAnn
Thank you for this. So glad that neither of you were hurt - but we mustn’t underestimate how much these things can shake us up, and bring up all sorts of ‘buried’ griefs. I lost my Mum 6 months ago and being busy with all the legal responsibilities has left me little room to grieve. When the family home that I’ve known all my life passes to a new owner, that’s when I expect it will really hit me. Sewing is a solace - I made my brother a quilt when Mum passed as he was hurting so bad and I just wanted him to have a ‘hug’ from me any time he needed it. Bless you for sharing your sadness, I know this will resonate with many of us
Amanda, I'm so sorry that you have lost your Mum so very recently. 😔 My goodness, grief is so hard, and feelings of loss are so very real. Thank you for your kind words---all my love to you and your brother as you find a new normal without your Mum here with you! ❤️
Cathy and Paul, I'm glad that your daughter and you were not physically hurt. My quilting journey started 10 yrs ago when my mother passed away. Words are not enough to comfort someone, but I am sending you lots of virtual hugs.
Wow Cathy! Thank you for being real and wonderful. We watch you because you have become our friend. Grief for any reason is hard! I too have been grief lately. I almost lost my work bestie (at the young at of 35), he has been in the hospital for over a month. Not having him at work has been awful, it’s been a struggle for our whole team. I was totally in my head for a long time about how he and his fiancé were feeling. Fortunately, he is doing better and has a date to get back home. We will get through our grief! Thinking of you Cathy and send love to all your viewers 💗
Cathy I’m so sorry for your and your daughter’s car accidents, but I’m thankful the both of you were not injured. This was a beautiful video and it represents why I Love your channel. Each video illuminates your Loving spirit and this video is no different. Thank you for sharing and being open. Take care
My husband passed December 2021. Losing him was the hardest thing I could ever imagine. Grief is hard, and surviving it sometimes feels impossible, but I have found quilting to be my zen. I could not get rid of Brett’s shirts…so, what does a quilter do?…I made a quilt. I’m not saying that I didn’t cry all over it while I worked on it because I did…but, I would have been crying in the chair otherwise. Though my heart is broken in a hundred pieces, I was able to put hundreds of pieces of Brett’s shirts together to create a beautiful quilt that I wrap up in every evening. When I feel that life is just too hard, I sew and my loss does not feel quite so unbearable. Also, I have found immense comfort from quilting communities. Pat Sloan hosts an early morning daily UA-cam quilt video, there is a live chat going on during the video…it is that group that has helped me put feet on the floor in the morning, and I look forward to being greeted by my quilt friends. Now, I’ve found you and I’m looking forward to seeing part of this community too. Thank you for caring so deeply for your community.
Mary Jo, I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is so hard! I'm glad that you have found quilting communities that have buoyed you up and helped you keep going! ❤️
Thank you for being authentic . I am grieving the loss of three significant relationships and I do need to stop and honor the impact this has on my heart . I tend to default to trudging forward - on and on .
God bless you .
Thank you, Rosie. I tend to be a trudger too---sometimes it just gets to be a bit much and I have to stop and have a good cry. Many blessings as you work through your grief.❤️
Thank you for sharing and being so raw and emotional. You are such a genuine and gentle soul. We need more Cathy Martins in this crazy world. Bless you.
Thank you Cathy for your kindness and willingness to be open with us. Just one of the reasons we love you!
Life is like a roller coaster ride ! Sometimes it is hard to hold on! Quilting has also saved me,I deal with it by accomplishing something beautiful!
Thank you so much you lovely lady, I have a memory quilt to make but can't bring myself to deconstruct the shirts yet, you remind me to give grief the space and time it needs.
Yes, it just takes a moment for us to suddenly become aware of our fragility and launch us into grief- a crash that happens in seconds, a diagnosis or news of death heard in one sentence, a goodbye in one breath. And then the rest of our life to feel all the things, think all the thoughts and stitch all the love. Peace be upon your head and heart and those of your family in these days.
Beautiful words
Thank you, Sister.❤️
You are easy to share with! Your love for life and living shines through. I think we all have fragile moments, and sharing yours moves me!
Thank you for this, Cathy. You have a beautiful way of putting feelings into words! We all need an enormous group hug. 💞
My heart goes out to the viewer who lost her son. I love this channel, it feels like hanging out with a good friend and the process of making beautiful quilts from repurposed fabric speaks to me. To my shame I lurk but rarely comment, whether to thank or encourage. I commit to being a more active viewer as participating really is the way to build a strong and vibrant community.
Please have no shame---everyone is welcome here, whether regular commenter or quiet lurker! I'm thankful for your presence here and glad you love the channel! ❤️
Just acknowledging that feelings of grief are legitimate and ok to have is a big gift. Because people don't know how , and really can't, help someone get over grief, they want it to go away. So thank you for saying the journey is there and unknowable. It is. And I don't find that it goes away, just gets more knowable and less frequently in the forefront of our minds. I guess that's what is meant by getting over grief. But it is still there.
Such a moving video Cathy, I lost my dad 20 yeas ago, but I am still grieving, he will be forever missed. Glad you and your daughter were safe after the accidents, although understandably very shaken. You are so right, this life is so fragile, but so beautiful, this hobby of ours of cutting up fabric and sewing it together again doesn't stand scrutiny, but it brings so much comfort, I'm glad we have our own little community here on UA-cam, and you are one of the ones bringing us together - thank you
Cathy and family, Big hug 🤗. So thankful that you and your daughter were not physically injured. I feel so honored to be a part of this community, to know that you are willing to share your heart and feelings with us. Quilting is a lot like life, we take pieces of fabric and make beautiful meaningful quilts for others or our selves to love and cherish, just like we do with our family, loved ones and friends, we love and cherish them for what ever time we are given with them. So honored to know you through quilting, take care 🥰🤗❤️
I happened on your channel am glad I did. in listening I realized I'm grieving three losses. Leaving our home, (50 years December 2019) that we raised our kids, dogs, and yard with gardens of flowers. My brother-in-law , husband of my youngest sister, in March 2020. My husband in September 2020. It's been
3 years, and this brought back memories that have not been around for awhile. Lost my brother, and having shirts I promised my sister-in-law to do something with, which is now on my list. Thank you for your time.
I recently found your channel. After this heartwarming video I know why I am continuing to be a part of your community. Thank you for putting your heart out there with your message. We all need this care and comfort and love. Remember ... You are not alone either. Magical video❣️❣️
Thank you, Kelley! I'm glad you found me and I'm so happy you're here! ❤️
My mom died when I was 23 from lung cancer,nonsmoker, so I can imagine the loss you had there. I wish I had been quilting back then because I never got to gift her a quilt. I have made 3 memory quilts, two with college tee-shirt and one for a man with the tee-shirt from his deceased wife. I was so glad to do those, especially for the widow. Thanks for the video and take care of yourself at this trying time
I am a new listener, and appreciated your discussion on loss. My mother was a quilter, and she taught me to sew when I was twelve and handwork has been a part of my life ever since. She passed away in January at 94. She enriched my life through her sewing skills. Your comments were so perfect about all the thoughts I have not totally processed yet.
Oh Pam. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a blessing that your mother taught you to sew and has given you the gift of sewing/handwork!❤️ Much love to you as you process and grief the passing of your mom.
You are a beautiful person. Thank you for sharing your heart. So thankful you and your daughter were not hurt in your accidents.
Dear Catbird, you and Paul have found your village, and we are all the richer for it. It is ironic that a "trip around the world," is sitting right beside you, your village is world wide. It is a warm and welcoming place together, you are our leader. We are all so grateful you and your daughter are safe. It is jarring to say the least, when there is unexpected danger. Take it easy, I insist.
Thank you for being so open and caring. Quilting is my therapy for my childhood trauma. And giving my quilts to friends, family, charities is also very healing. I just purchased graph paper and colored pencils. I'm going on a beach vacation next week and plan to sit on the beach and plan my next few quilts. Thanks for the inspiration.
Oh my gosh. I appreciate your video. My daughter who was told she could not have ant children became pregnant. Then at age 36 she became pregnant. She had picked out his name , Chance she picked out as it would be so fitting. She went into labor a week too early for him to survive. She delivered a beautiful baby boy and the hospital provided a little quilt for him to be wrapped in to present him to her. This video brought this memory to my heart again…
I started sewing again in 2023. I am a psychotherapist, a mom, and a medical caregiver. I was feeling burnt out and really needing “counterweight” to all the heavy stuff, especially after overfunctioning through the pandemic. I love my job because I love seeing people try when life pushes back. But I also feel tender sometimes. There is agency in working with my hands. It is nice to delight in creating something small and to feel like my best is enough. I try to keep my security in my smallness, but that can be hard when holding pain with people. Most people know how to feel pain. It can be hard to remember how to feel joy. I am more helpful when I’m anchored in safety, play, and delight. I appreciate the safety, play, and delight that you offer in your videos. It’s sincere and powerful- has been helpful to me.
What a wonderful and meaningful comment, Carey. ❤️ I relate to overfunctioning through the pandemic (well, maybe just in general---it's an uphill battle for me to "stay in my lane") and to sewing/quilting for therapy and balance. "I am more helpful when I’m anchored in safety, play, and delight"---me too, friend.🥲😊🥰 So glad you feel that here in this space with me---I'm humbled and honored.🤓❤️
I'm nodding! And teary eyed. What a beautiful mesage, I felt you were speaking directly to me, and my heart. And I know many others of your viewers felt the same. I loved this, thank you. I have been watching you for months and enjoy all of your videos. Take care.
Thank you for being Cathy, being vulnerable, being okay with grief and for caring about us. Love you right back!
Thank you, Jane.
Well Im late to the party.. as per.... watching this 3 months later, i'm seeing a very large table with a group of women sitting around. Needle and thread in hand, they share their moments with each other. Their tears fall onto the fabric and are woven into the pattern. The patterns are the stories of their lives....... it's not just sewing.... it's living and loving. Blessings.
You have such a wonderfully kind and empathetic heart 💕 I’ve been stuck in a grief cycle for over a decade after losing my family and no amount of therapy was making it better. I had always wanted to learn to sew/quilt and last month something came over me and I went into a local quilting shop and bought my first machine. While there all the ladies in the store began telling me how they didn’t start sewing till after they suffered a big loss in their lives. I thought it might have been a weird coincidence till seeing this video. Memories in all forms are so precious and I love how quilting can make a tangible huggable comforting memory out of items that once held pain to look at while being stored with no use instead of being used, admired, and embraced. So thankful to have found you and thank you for being so vulnerable making this video, it really means a lot to me and obviously many others. Sending condolences and best wishes to everyone 🙏
Well stated facts, life is hard, grief is real, uncertain and difficult. I love crumb quilts, sometimes I need to just mindlessly sew, not measure, not worry if the stripes or plaids are straight, just see.
I love you and all your beautiful followers will forever be in my prayers
Thank you so much. Your words made some things in my own life finally make some sense, and gave me a way to embrace them without such fear and trepidation. My own creativity and need to create have a safer home in me now. Yes, grief is hard- I own some myself, so hugs to everyone else who could use one about now. And because of you and those shirts, I just made my first foray into quilting. I made a runner in what are to me Easter colours. Not perfect, but it exists because you made me confident that I could do it. You matter too, a lot. Thank you!
God bless you and your beautiful heart, Cathy. So very glad you and your daughter are safe! Praying for your rest and healing! ❤😊
Thank you for this video! I'm glad that you and your daughter are oké. I sent my love to everyone, who is hurt
Thank you for sharing this topic with us. I wish I could give anyone that needs one a virtual hug right now. Grief is hard.
I am so glad you and your daughter are ok, physically. Thank you for sharing.I am certain that your sharing has helped your community through some of their own challenges and pain.
I am so sorry but glad that you and your daughter are doing well.
So relieved that you and your daughter didn’t have any injuries from the accidents. I cried right with you thru this video. I could feel your grief and send you hugs. ❤
Cathy, thank you for pouring your heart out and sharing a part of us with you. I have loved all of your videos from the very beginning and have incorporated thrifted fabrics into my creative process because of you. I have enjoyed working with shirts so much! Little did I know that learning this process was preparation for making memory quilts. My father passed away unexpectedly last week. I know now, that I can confidently utilize all of my dad’s precious Hawaiian shirts to make quilty hugs for my siblings. Life is so precious. Thank you again for your time, talent and heart.
Oh Michelle. I’m so sorry about the passing of your father. 😭 You brave soul-so very proud of you and happy that you have what it takes (quilting skill and emotional) to make his shirts into something beautiful! Be kind to yourself in your grieving process. Grief is hard! ❤
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father. Losing a parent is so hard. We walk alongside you in your journey and lift you up as you create these beautiful Hawaiian quilty hugs for your siblings. Such a heartfelt gift.
Cathy, I have so much to say about this video😀! I lost my mother 45 years ago at the age of 11 and my dad the year after. I am 13th in line of 16 kids and learned at a very young age about grief and loss. Since then I have had many other circumstances that could have made me a very bitter person, but God made us to share with each other and lean on each other for strength and support when we can’t handle it on our own. This video was such a touching thing for you to put out for the world to see, but know that there were people out here that needed this message, myself included. You see my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about 18 months ago and I have lost my sew-jo in the process of learning to care for him full time. But it has been such a joy to be able to share with him new life every day. I now count myself lucky if I get and hour or two a week to sit and sew, but I am truly thankful that I can sit and watch videos and share in that reality with others even though I am not able to do it myself. Grief is hard and long and sometimes never ending, but we have each other to lean on. Quilters and crafters are some of the most kind and caring people on this earth and I am very lucky to include them in my circle of friends, even though I have never met them. ❤️❤️❤️
I am thankful that neither of you were hurt. Isn't it sad for anyone who doesn't have God to lean on. I am a quilter. Not a perfect quilter , but a quilter. I am blessed with a husband who supports me in all i do. Hang in there.
and YOU matter and YOU are loved , this was such a beautiful video of heartfelt thoughts and hopes for yourself and all that can hear your voice. Thank you so much. Grief is hard God bless love you Melody
Your caring and compassion come through every video. My heart goes out to you now. You have definitely been a gift to me.
Life is really hard sometimes, it's true.
But we have each other, we have you, your stories, your quilts.
❤❤❤
So so so hard. We lost Mum 12 years ago to peritonium cancer. When I inherited her wool Stash i found enough balls of alpca wool to make a poncho. It was beautiful. A hug from Mum everytime I wore it. Unfortunately it got washed and it felted but I still have it. Grief is such an important process to allow yourself to go through. It needs to be processed. To all those who have lost, be a person, a pet, a job, a car, a home, ... anything that you feel as a loss ... please be kind to yourself.
Predictability! Oh how comforting that is when all you can see or feel is unsettled. Thank you. I am deeply grateful for this community. And you. ❤❤