Fighting my way from PEASANT to KNIGHT OF THE REALM!!

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  • Опубліковано 26 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 317

  • @Uk.government-j2q
    @Uk.government-j2q 3 місяці тому +754

    “London simulator” is wild

  • @GalaxyHighMarshal
    @GalaxyHighMarshal 3 місяці тому +140

    Hi Half Sword Games VFX dev here! Thank you for playing our game! greets!

    • @palnetalan2754
      @palnetalan2754 3 місяці тому +1

      Hi GalaxyMarshal

    • @microcolonel
      @microcolonel 20 днів тому +1

      It's intensely hilarious. I like the part where they yell «CUCKOLD!!!»

  • @Dfarrey
    @Dfarrey 3 місяці тому +342

    This is simultaneously the best and worst combat I've ever seen.

    • @djchappell1726
      @djchappell1726 3 місяці тому +12

      The total lack of martial understanding swings wildly between entertaining and scarringly painful! 🤣😖

    • @stevebrown5241
      @stevebrown5241 3 місяці тому +12

      And RCE's comments....absolutely loosing it every 2 minutes with laughter. I think this is one of my favorite videos. :)

    • @QueenMonny
      @QueenMonny 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@stevebrown5241 Same. Funniest video I've seen in ages.

  • @asaturner4097
    @asaturner4097 3 місяці тому +164

    How was there not a "what did he say?" Gif when he said "we're all stuck in each other "?

  • @sirscooty2330
    @sirscooty2330 3 місяці тому +48

    That’s exactly how I imagined fights in London go “Eat my knife, eat my knife. Oh dear, I’ve died”

  • @LuxFerre4242
    @LuxFerre4242 3 місяці тому +51

    22:24 "How are we meant to hurt each other? We got so much armour on." The answer is the name of the game: half swording.

    • @Connor-p6k
      @Connor-p6k 3 місяці тому +2

      He actually right nice!

  • @python2400
    @python2400 3 місяці тому +11

    18:03 "We're all, like, in each other"
    THAT is the WHAT DID HE SAYYYY moment😂😂😂😂

  • @LearnToRace
    @LearnToRace 3 місяці тому +18

    This game is comedy gold 2:59 giving the guy a smooch killed me

  • @jaymay7957
    @jaymay7957 3 місяці тому +8

    1:45 how the vast majority of people fight hahah just swinging wildly. Hilarious

  • @AaronLyNxAI
    @AaronLyNxAI 3 місяці тому +7

    The giant pliers are smiths tongs, for blacksmithing. They have a few names but that's the one I know them by. Got a few pairs myself for when I work on knives

  • @rabidbadger5260
    @rabidbadger5260 3 місяці тому +7

    'London simulator' had me creased!
    11/10 - -totally accurate battle commentary.

  • @J.I.R.A
    @J.I.R.A 3 місяці тому +26

    Omg yes, mate! Don't get much time to play nowadays, so this game is the only one I've been playing whenever I have a few minutes. Turn on the PC, launch it, have a few laughs, and turn it off. Not having to worry about progress, connection, or nothing other than laughing has been a wonderful experience.

  • @matthewtalbot-paine7977
    @matthewtalbot-paine7977 3 місяці тому +29

    Calling a candle stick a coat rack? That's a paddling.

  • @freddycalabrese319
    @freddycalabrese319 3 місяці тому +6

    Take a shot every time Matt says something like "we do not lose fights in Australia" or "I'm quite good at single combat" before immediately dying

  • @BAKERSMAN
    @BAKERSMAN 3 місяці тому +60

    FYI that tiny shield is known as a buckler, usually paired with a one-handed sword🤓😂

    • @the98themperoroftheholybri33
      @the98themperoroftheholybri33 3 місяці тому +10

      And the weird spear is a billhook, the AK47 of the medieval world, because it was also a farming tool so everyone had easy access to them

    • @of_being
      @of_being 3 місяці тому +6

      I would not recommend tilling your soil with an AK. It’s effective, but expensive.

    • @Plystire
      @Plystire 3 місяці тому +1

      @@of_being Not to mention the lead content your crops would end up having

    • @Digibo
      @Digibo 3 місяці тому +1

      I've yet to see a shield paired with a two-handed sword 😅

    • @LuxFerre4242
      @LuxFerre4242 3 місяці тому +5

      @Digibo I've seen (and used) a two-handed sword with a shield at my old HEMA club. It's not great but better than a kick in the teeth.

  • @Mets2015WorldSeries
    @Mets2015WorldSeries 3 місяці тому +9

    13:23 I think you’ll be upset to hear that the shield emblem you have is that of France…

  • @antwauneharris6663
    @antwauneharris6663 2 місяці тому +1

    0:25 the shade is real 😂😂😂😂

  • @vironx22
    @vironx22 3 місяці тому +96

    Day 59 of asking Matt to play what he wants to play. Because we will enjoy it anyway :)

    • @JoshSteiner14
      @JoshSteiner14 3 місяці тому +9

      The only one of these that’s okay

    • @saadsaad-g4e
      @saadsaad-g4e 3 місяці тому +7

      Waiting for 10 more days to make it efficient. I hope Matt is hoping the same to make it efficient.

    • @britishshock
      @britishshock 3 місяці тому +1

      Theses are always the best games. Especially when they're not.

    • @abcdefgcdefg5178
      @abcdefgcdefg5178 3 місяці тому +1

      Best comment in a while

    • @GETCHOOSUM
      @GETCHOOSUM 3 місяці тому +1

      This is the way

  • @TTIOttio
    @TTIOttio 3 місяці тому +24

    Drinking game: take a drink every time Matt says the same thing twice in a row :p

    • @Coolchris158
      @Coolchris158 3 місяці тому +1

      I’ve been saying that for months 😂

    • @TTIOttio
      @TTIOttio 3 місяці тому

      @@Coolchris158 I didn't notice it till this video!
      No idea how I'm so bad at noticing things... xD

    • @saltyjr42
      @saltyjr42 3 місяці тому +2

      (dies within two minutes)

    • @jimmymcgoochie5363
      @jimmymcgoochie5363 3 місяці тому +3

      Please, for the sake of your liver, DO NOT TRY THIS

    • @robwitka
      @robwitka 3 місяці тому

      Classic Jacob Two-Two

  • @JoJoGaminG36
    @JoJoGaminG36 3 місяці тому +6

    I finally did it, I started to study Civil Engineering! Thanks for Matt that made this field of Work interesting for me over the years. You really made the decision easy for me.

  • @davidjagt9627
    @davidjagt9627 3 місяці тому +2

    "Peace, Love, and Cold-blooded Murder" is definitely a way to end a video

  • @Juniper_Rose
    @Juniper_Rose 3 місяці тому +1

    "he's got so much armor! how are we gonna get through!?" - matt, wielding the "get through the armor" weapon, the morningstar

  • @szilagyilev
    @szilagyilev 3 місяці тому +2

    mylord, mylord, the boosh counter... it overruneth!

  • @job8
    @job8 11 днів тому

    6:05 This is too hilarious. I feel sick!

  • @RexRussia88
    @RexRussia88 3 місяці тому +6

    Use the shift key with short bursts/swings, the leading arm you swing with it always going to position the corresponding foot to match (that’s why you get off balance) double clicking releases stuck weapons, don’t swing blade back and forth causes your swing to not have momentum, momentum dictates how much damage you do

    • @phoenixta8168
      @phoenixta8168 3 місяці тому

      is what he is playing the demo or the actual game, and if its the game, where can I find it? Thank you!

  • @officialnucky
    @officialnucky 3 місяці тому +1

    6:05 Matt got the finger puppet weapon

  • @JojenPaste
    @JojenPaste 3 місяці тому +1

    So excited to see you play this. My buddy and I got addicted to this demo for like 2 weeks straight. This is all we played. It’s so surprisingly fun.

  • @JTHarleyD
    @JTHarleyD 3 місяці тому +1

    This was so hilarious. Been howling and crying for more than half the video 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @foniks100
    @foniks100 3 місяці тому +2

    This game reminds me about Exanima, wish they didn't abandon it.

  • @jormunganir3517
    @jormunganir3517 3 місяці тому

    12:44
    That's a billhook. A pretty nasty weapon often used to dismount cavalry. Overall just a pretty decent polearm if you ask me.

  • @ОнекдОт
    @ОнекдОт 2 місяці тому

    0:25 can’t even afford hair😂😂😂

  • @graygam
    @graygam 3 місяці тому

    This game is actually pretty interesting, a lot of the design and art is historically accurate. They are kind of mixing the 14th and 15th centuries together, such as I saw a depiction of the Black Prince wearing a sallet even though they wouldn’t exist for approximately another 40 years after his death. Other than little things like that its really cool seeing something so historically accurate

  • @ghriszlybare2547
    @ghriszlybare2547 3 місяці тому

    I swear i was thinking of that scene in gladiator and zoning out a bit and then you say the line! "Are you not entertained?" Sometimes i wonder if were all connected

  • @borbarad2.0
    @borbarad2.0 2 місяці тому

    The weapon at 12:50 is a Voulge a forefather of the Halberd.

  • @jcbw95
    @jcbw95 2 місяці тому

    I understand this is an older video but this video made me laugh out loud best video on UA-cam the game plus commentary are elite.

  • @Angelsilhouette
    @Angelsilhouette 3 місяці тому +3

    12:44 It's a Bill Hook.

    • @raznaak
      @raznaak 3 місяці тому +1

      Aww, I wanted to say it.

    • @FerrumAnulum
      @FerrumAnulum 3 місяці тому +1

      Came here to say the same thing

  • @abcdefgcdefg5178
    @abcdefgcdefg5178 3 місяці тому +1

    Pretty sure I'm stealing that pic of matt on the gladiator and hanging on my wall 😂

  • @alepaz1099
    @alepaz1099 3 місяці тому

    "We all started with knives, this is London simulator" 😬
    😂😂

  • @kanesaunders4000
    @kanesaunders4000 3 місяці тому

    This kinda reminds me of “swords and sandals” from school days 😂

  • @_Kovayne
    @_Kovayne 3 місяці тому

    i've never laughed this hard at a gaming video before but this game is hilarious

  • @olivialambert4124
    @olivialambert4124 3 місяці тому +3

    The irony of "Brave Stand" being nothing but Matt running away.

    • @OctyabrAprelya
      @OctyabrAprelya 3 місяці тому

      Need to see SovietWomble playing thisXD

  • @adynwhitworth3842
    @adynwhitworth3842 3 місяці тому

    BRO YOURE LIKE MY FAVORITE UA-camR AND NOW YOURE PLAYING ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES? HELL YEA

  • @PlatinumGaming67
    @PlatinumGaming67 3 місяці тому +2

    11:06 That was actually a really good attack

  • @The22ndDoctor
    @The22ndDoctor 3 місяці тому

    The great philosopher Tyson once said "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face"

  • @Ventanty
    @Ventanty 10 днів тому

    A buckler shield weren't very useful besides trying to keep enemies at bay.
    Their two most useful uses are 1 aiming at an opponents neck for breaking a windpipe. 2nd is punching away at stuff. Stuff being faces and various weapons.
    But they weren't the most useful *shields*. A standard round shield would be better since it covered a larger area, and could do everything a buckler could do. Lol
    The Romans had clipeus, and the Scottish had the Targe, both were far better at protection and breaking windpipes lol

  • @hasangarmarudi2178
    @hasangarmarudi2178 3 місяці тому +1

    15:08 actually sick reposte

  • @sidneyvandykeii3169
    @sidneyvandykeii3169 3 місяці тому

    This is the Goat Simulator of medieval fighting.

  • @guyhale4941
    @guyhale4941 3 місяці тому +1

    This was hilarious. Big laughs with this one.

  • @leepatterson5710
    @leepatterson5710 3 місяці тому

    Finally something that is a clicker game where Matt is like “fat stonks” every 5 seconds or a game where he commits genocide for the upteenth time.
    Loved the video.

  • @meatharbor
    @meatharbor 3 місяці тому

    While certainly manuscript-accurate, the one-handed bloke attack is commonly thought to be incapable of Ending Him Rightly™.

  • @IDESTROYER236
    @IDESTROYER236 3 місяці тому

    10:51
    "Mods, kill him with hammers."

  • @DanielTracey-kr9ep
    @DanielTracey-kr9ep 3 місяці тому

    This is one of the best things Ive ever watched, kudos RCE

  • @FlatAntler
    @FlatAntler 3 місяці тому

    I think this RCE's funniest video of all time!

  • @R-es5pg
    @R-es5pg 3 місяці тому +1

    As someone who works with architects and engineers nearly everyday, your dislike for them is 100% justifiable

  • @elmadicine
    @elmadicine 3 місяці тому

    bunch of blokes shuffling around in a corner with knives
    "London simulator" 💀💀💀

  • @lordsqueak
    @lordsqueak 3 місяці тому

    @1:00 ish
    "Mom! , why are the skinheads fighting?"

  • @shannecy9801
    @shannecy9801 3 місяці тому

    7:19 thats a buckler shield used to parry

  • @AppleShrapnel
    @AppleShrapnel 3 місяці тому

    Something I'm hoping for in a future update is a slo-mo toggle. Would be so fun for making a precision strike around an enemy's guard or lining up a thrust or chop with their head. >:3c

  • @crapparc
    @crapparc 3 місяці тому +5

    The idiom is Rags to Riches, Matt. Unless that guy is so poor it's just the one rag.

  • @minsin21
    @minsin21 3 місяці тому

    14:25 that looks more like a Shiny Vader

  • @hasenkuschel8328
    @hasenkuschel8328 3 місяці тому

    There is a demo of this game too. You begin with nothing and have to find weapons and armor in an rouqe like setting. And their is blood too!😊
    Some bosses are so powerfull🥲

  • @zenzej
    @zenzej 3 місяці тому +1

    "I'm trying to not have mercy on You, Shut Up!" - this got me hard :D

  • @erictorres9906
    @erictorres9906 3 місяці тому +4

    I'm not used to wielding something like this - THAT's what SHE said!!

  • @ithoughtshewas18
    @ithoughtshewas18 3 місяці тому +1

    To paraphrase someone - We are the lowest of low...we can't even find a decent culture to be colonised by 😂 that was what I was half expecting when Matt said We're the lowest of the low 🤣

  • @salionshatterstar
    @salionshatterstar 3 місяці тому

    Oh my goodness. I can't recall when last I laughed so hard.

  • @simonclarke7443
    @simonclarke7443 11 днів тому

    Haha this is really funny.. Robin Hood Knob Head!

  • @theUglyGypsy
    @theUglyGypsy 3 місяці тому

    Minneapolis simulator would be a 10 year old stealing your Kia.

  • @steelratgoestogym
    @steelratgoestogym 3 місяці тому

    This one was absolutely hilarious, LMAO 😂

  • @dondiezel
    @dondiezel 2 місяці тому

    I feel like this is how RCE would fight in real life.

  • @spaceman1643
    @spaceman1643 3 місяці тому

    the new 'thats what she said' clip got me

  • @Dog_is_god21
    @Dog_is_god21 2 місяці тому

    i love how they just kept hitting the dead guys

  • @cnikkor
    @cnikkor 3 місяці тому +14

    There is a typo in the title. "KINGHT"

    • @RealCivilEngineerGaming
      @RealCivilEngineerGaming  3 місяці тому +8

      Oops, architect moment!

    • @cnikkor
      @cnikkor 3 місяці тому

      @@RealCivilEngineerGaming happens to the best of us apparently

    • @NoodleKeeper
      @NoodleKeeper 3 місяці тому +4

      @@RealCivilEngineerGaming Should've just left it. It fits with the goofy vibe of this game.

    • @snodog00
      @snodog00 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@RealCivilEngineerGaming You...um... you seem to have those a lot.

    • @OakleyWaltman
      @OakleyWaltman 3 місяці тому

      I thought it was just a Monty Python reference lmao

  • @jonogrimmer6013
    @jonogrimmer6013 3 місяці тому +1

    I nearly died watching this! 😆

  • @tdahl42
    @tdahl42 3 місяці тому

    RCE turning this game into Peter Garrett Dancing Simulator. (Lead singer of Aussie band Midnight Oil)

    • @QueenMonny
      @QueenMonny 3 місяці тому +1

      🤣. Only a sufficiently old enough Australian (or someone into... unusual music) would understand this reference. But it's spot on.

  • @minkster5054
    @minkster5054 3 місяці тому

    Its always the engineers that like the group stuff.

  • @ianemoon5152
    @ianemoon5152 3 місяці тому

    May i recommend "we who are about to die" its similar like this but with gladiators

  • @willnogood
    @willnogood 3 місяці тому

    Playtime is over boys, I'm going to take the cookies out of the oven lol

  • @JinxsyYT
    @JinxsyYT 3 місяці тому

    This game gives me the same feeling as hitting someone in a dream 😅

  • @VinayVarsani
    @VinayVarsani 3 місяці тому

    One of your best videos in s while Matt 😂😂

  • @michaelpage4242
    @michaelpage4242 3 місяці тому +2

    Didn’t you upload this like 2 months ago

  • @fruitfulconnoisseur
    @fruitfulconnoisseur 3 місяці тому

    The guy with the hat rack had slow swings so it's a matter of timing with the stool

  • @czerstwy22
    @czerstwy22 3 місяці тому

    12:45 it could be guisarme, or some sort of halberd

    • @aquataco-4Life
      @aquataco-4Life 3 місяці тому

      I’m not an expert, but that might be a glaive

    • @JonBonCat
      @JonBonCat 3 місяці тому

      It's a billhook. I said glaive as well, I saw someone else's comment and googled to confirm. Guisarme has longing hooking parts. My pole arm knowledge is lacking apparently haha.

  • @Infernoblade1010
    @Infernoblade1010 3 місяці тому

    Taking a page from the treatise of Sir Flails Wildly

  • @Hyperspeed727
    @Hyperspeed727 3 місяці тому +1

    Matt, can you do more city skylines?

  • @aulvinduergard9952
    @aulvinduergard9952 3 місяці тому

    I believe that 'paddle' was what medieval laundry women used to clean clothes. Yes, they'd literally beat the stains out.

    • @Nick-hi9gx
      @Nick-hi9gx 3 місяці тому

      No it is for putting loaves of bread in the stone oven, taking them out again. Same thing as the big ones used for pizzas, just bread-sized.

  • @Friariah
    @Friariah 3 місяці тому

    The tiny shield is called a buckler.

  • @SgtBucky26
    @SgtBucky26 3 місяці тому

    You should do a bridge review on archaludon. It's a pokemon and a bridge

  • @iXpertYK
    @iXpertYK 3 місяці тому

    I can watch this video all day long..so funny

  • @AdamHinckley
    @AdamHinckley 3 місяці тому

    2:22 more like liverpool simulator

  • @Phantoms-e
    @Phantoms-e 3 місяці тому

    4:10 it's called a buckler shield
    11:03 it's pronounced as goodenday I Don't know the exact name I just know the pronunciation
    12:45 it's a glave

    • @Phantoms-e
      @Phantoms-e 3 місяці тому

      Oh and 18:45 it's a warpick

    • @ala5530
      @ala5530 3 місяці тому

      Goedendag

    • @Phantoms-e
      @Phantoms-e 3 місяці тому

      @ala5530 thank you

  • @harrisong3386
    @harrisong3386 3 місяці тому

    At the 4:30 mark that guy beating his meat while beating you with pliers 😂 his hand placement was definitely sus

  • @cactus.goblin
    @cactus.goblin 3 місяці тому

    I am literally crying with laugher omg

  • @ameknight8875
    @ameknight8875 3 місяці тому

    Fallout: London looks amazing so far!

  • @collinsleep638
    @collinsleep638 3 місяці тому

    You should have played the dark one with all the blood.

  • @jb.7314
    @jb.7314 3 місяці тому

    Its somehow quiet disgusting to see the kind of the game about gladiator fighting and somehow amazingly funny to hear your commentary

  • @jamesmarkham9464
    @jamesmarkham9464 3 місяці тому

    Ahh I just laughed soo hard I cried 😂 amazing job Matt lol

  • @quindecim577
    @quindecim577 3 місяці тому

    Greatly reminds of exanima's arena. It's alot more wacky. Lol.

  • @hjge1012
    @hjge1012 3 місяці тому

    So this is what real engineering looks like.

  • @stylesrj
    @stylesrj 3 місяці тому

    Isn't trying to knock the other guy down exactly how medieval knights fought in one on one combat tournaments? Because they both wore heavy armour, most weapons wouldn't work so you fought until one couldn't get up with all that heavy armour on them...
    And I think the armour worn at tournaments was extra heavy for the padding needed?
    Plus that a knight when going into battle probably had to pack light as getting extra squires to carry his armour around cost extra?

    • @dracoasier1896
      @dracoasier1896 3 місяці тому

      You are partially right, most "Buhurt" tournaments were actually done with blunt weapons but getting the opponent down to the ground would mean "death" in the tournament but in real combat getting knocked to the ground would mean death. Armor would be plate armor steel and modern equivalents are about 60 pounds of just the metal and that is not including about the 20 pounds of quilted clothing underneath that the armor ties onto so in reality you are wearing anywear from 80-100 pounds of additional weight and then throwing around 5-10 pounds of weaponry so falling over would be certain death.

    • @stylesrj
      @stylesrj 3 місяці тому

      @@dracoasier1896
      From what I heard though, knights in armour could do quite impressive physical feats. Like backflipping onto horses. But I'm guessing they can't do that all day or throughout a battle and the fatigue would indeed get to them.
      Like the first time they could leap back to their feet, the second maybe but by the fifth, they need time to stand but their opponent isn't going to let that happen or would have already pinned them down and stuck a dagger through the helmet.

    • @dracoasier1896
      @dracoasier1896 3 місяці тому +1

      @stylesrj stories can be embellished. But the biggest thing you always will have to remember about any knight is they had money to get the armor, and they had to get the best training to get it and be paid for it. As a king, sending out a calvary of knights is the equivalent of sending out a platoon of tanks in modern days.
      It has to be done strategically and carefully because losing a knight is years of experience lost, while a peasant with a pointy stick that can easily pierce armor is a dime a dozen

  • @laneledford7383
    @laneledford7383 3 місяці тому

    I will never get tired of the architect hate. It makes me smile every time. 😂