7 Signs You're Becoming a Toxic Friend
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- Опубліковано 27 тра 2024
- We've talked a lot about the signs you may have a toxic friend, but have you ever wondered if you're the toxic one? Are you worried that you'll push them away by being a bad friend? We all make mistakes. And sometimes we may not realize that we are already hurting the people we love until it’s too late. So, to help you prevent this from happening, let's look at some of the signs you might be turning into a toxic friend.
Oh! And if you're curious about the video on the signs of you have a toxic friend that we've mentioned, here's the link to it: • 10 Signs You Have a To...
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Lily Hu
Animator: Grace Cárdenas Cano
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
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Crick, N. R., & Nelson, D. A. (2002). Relational and emotion victimization within friendships: Nobody told me there’d be friends like these. Journal of adolescent psychology, 30(6), 599-607.
Crothers, L. M., Field, J. E., & Kolbert, J. B. (2005). Navigating power, control, and being nice: Aggression in adolescent girls’ friendships. Journal of Counseling & Development, 83(3), 349-354.
Meyers, S. (2017). “Why People Give Unsolicited Advice (Though No One Listens).” Psychology Today. Retrieved 21 May 2020 from www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201712/why-people-give-unsolicited-advice-though-no-one-listens
Masheter, C. (2007). A Study on The Dynamics of Healthy and unhealthy Friendship. Journal of Social Psychology, 463-475.
TEDx Talks. (2016, December 21). Sharon Livingston: 8 signs of a toxic friendship. Retrieved 21 May 2020 from • 8 Signs of a Toxic Fri...
TED-Ed Student Talks. (2019, May 17). Leo Hamric: What can you do when a friendship becomes harmful? Retrieved 21 May 2020 from • What can you do when a...
Does this remind you of someone?
yes myself
Is someone trying to give me a hint?
yeah, one of my friends now that I actually think about it-
i feel like one of my friends has al-ot maybe even all of these traits. she kinda makes me feel like i always ruin everything but i love being her friend and dont know how to tell her that i want her to be less toxic without her getting mad at me
It reminds me of my best friend
The sad part is that probably the wrong friend is watching this
This hit too close
yeah .. u rite
Do not hit this close...
@@outofthewoodstv no, everyone is toxic to everyone in the beginning. Some peoples learn with that and get to be a better person, some just ignore that and are evil. Toxic ppls fake smiles a lot, so I see why you tought this.
Nykew 34 D. A. No, I don’t think they’re toxic, they are toxic to me
Can’t be a toxic friend if you don’t have friends.
I feel you-
I just came to feel better and the I saw this
*BIG BRAIN*
*Yeah, this is big brain time.*
Agreed
The unsolicited advice part is so confusing for me. When people vent to me, I've always been so confused on whether to give advice or not. I used to have friends that would vent to me almost every day and I'd listen with open ears and assure them that I'd always be there to support them. But afterwards, they would sometimes get mad at me and say that that was "useless" or that "saying that doesn't actually make anything better". Then I started giving advice whenever people vented to me, but they would get mad at that if my advice wasn't always what they wanted to hear. Now I'm just unsure.
Edit: Thanks for all the responses and advice, I wasn’t expecting any but it’s all really helpful!
those people need to consider that you're there listening to them because that's what friends do, listen, confort and maybe give advice. But they can't expect you to always listen, sometimes you'll be mentally tired and not in the mood to hear others problems when you're also having problems, if they can't understand that you're a human too and that you have difficult times like them, then they're not good for you. You did well💜
It may be better to just… ask them which one they’re looking for. It directs you to what you need to do for them and also saves you the trouble of figuring out what they want. You’re a good friend, but you’re not a mind reader.
I always ask "do you need an advice or do you just wanna talk ?" it's better off this way, so there's no confusion
these people are really the bad one, youre listening to them and trying to help, youre very considerate friend and if your advices didnt work is ok!! not all advices would work on different person because advices are based mostly on our experience or what we heard, youre doing your best
also, i dont think what you do is unsolicited, because if the replies are like "it didnt work" then just mean they want some advice, but if youre not sure you should ask them if they need advices
Awwww ☹
Reminder: you can have toxic behaviors without being a toxic friend. You being here shows a willingness to learn and grow. And the fact you're trying means a lot when compared to the millions who don't bother.
Amen, this is so important to remember.
Amen 🙏
You’re needy
You’re controlling
You’re inconsiderate
Giving unsolicited advice
You act critical of them
You talk too much about yourself
You’re not happy for their success
godsend
my friend does most of these things
and even if she don't trust me that much anymore (because i wanted to put limits because she was REALLY controlling) when i tell her something good i did or that happened to me she just compare and say "couldn't be me" *everytime* and then i feel guilty because something good happened
Shit that's me
My friend tried to seperate me and my bsf cause she was jealous
I feel like 6 and 3 but I’m trying okay-
UA-cam: signs your becoming a toxic friend
Me: 👁👄👁
Ikr 😂
i don’t even talk to the “friends” that i had before quarantine so i’m just kinda lonely now lol i have me myself and i :’)
@@_jisko3973 U GOOD?
@@bobhehe8810 uhhh yeah i think so!
@@_jisko3973 gurllll u sure?😀
I think I could very easily be a toxic friend if I didn’t try so hard not to be. I find I often have to stop myself from being too needy, controlling, giving advice they didn’t ask for, being critical, and talking about myself too much. I try very hard not to do those things though, and have to remember that sometimes it is best to just keep my mouth shut.
That is completely normal! It's all about an active effort to treat people well :)
this is a completely normal feeling, its human nature to be jealous, controlling etc. but the fact that you’ve tried to make an effort to always be there for your friends no matter how toxic you feel speaks loud, the difference between you and people that constantly hurting their friends is that you’ve taken the time out of your day to watch this video and make an effort to keep the relationship between you and your friends healthy
Same bruh
Omg same😭😭😭
Like when my friends tell me about their problems I use my experiences to understand and help them but I always feel like I'm one upping then when I do that. But I also don't know how to understand them otherwise
Saaaaaaaaameeeeeee!!! I realize now that I used to be unknowingly toxic whith my old best friend and that is why we stopped being friend, however now, I have improved so much, even if sometimes it is exausting to try so hard to not accedentally do anything wrong, it is worth it because now I have much better friends that I “fit” better with! Now I have mich better friends that care for me more :)
0:35 You are needy
0:58 You’re controlling
1:28 You’re inconsiderate
1:55 You give unsolicited advice
2:24 You act critical of them
2:47 You talk more about yourself than them(not true if you’re neurodivergent. It’s normal for neurodivergent people to do this.)
3:18 You’re not happy for their success
Thank you for the timestamps, but what do you mean by your comment on number six? I've met many people who had disabilities like autism who talked about themselves for hours. They never asked me about my interests or would always go back to themselves after I tried to share them, so I just stopped hanging around them. Are you saying there people who feel afraid to share their interests with others too? I'm like that. I only share them if people ask and genuinely take interest.
I disagree with the neurodivergent. I always used to think that and put myself second. In the end, I went mad and the relationship become very toxic. Some days ago I ended it
@@Meow_meowwww Same here, had a mate for over 5 years that was neurodivergent and I noticed that he was really just talking about himself everything we voice chatted and he only screen shared his games and didn’t even pay attention to me. My other friends usually called him a “chatterbox”
Damn the replies are just neurotypicals talking shit about neurodivergents that's wild
@@LiaMakesContent im neurodivergent but you have to understand that not everyone is built to deal w us constantly. Others have their needs too
Who else clicked this because they were paranoid that they are the toxic one?
Like 60% of the people
*i feel called out*
felt lmaoo
oh god yeah
I
The comments that say “you’re not toxic because you clicked on this” make me feel better... But you have to understand it’s not true. You could easily be manipulative and hurt their feelings without exactly realizing or admitting it to yourself.
It's manipulation only of you know of it! It was one of my greatest fear to manipulate people without doing on purpose but its not if you dont know tht youre doing!
@@howdoichangenames I agree, but that doesn't mean that you are not hurting people unfortunately. You could manipulate them without the intention of really doing it maybe because of past abuse. The only thing that can actually help you become better, in my opinion, is self-awareness of your actions and the realization that you're no different than anyone else
@@howdoichangenames that’s not true, you can manipulate others without knowing
@@sail491 @how do I change names : yea, you can manipulate others into getting what you want, but may not realize that what you are doing is manipulation, if that makes sense
Agree. Videos like these make me realize I was once a toxic friend. I have to admit that in order for me to improve as a friend.
*When people consider you a friend but it's hard to consider them a friend*
THIS
YES
One of the worst qualities I have is getting jealous easily. I always think that one day my friends will think I’m so boring and stop talking to me or just find better friends. I had two friends last year and one of them I’ve known for six years and the other friend was someone I just met that year. I didn’t really have any problems with them until they both found a common interest and it wasn’t really my thing. This gave me a lot of worries that they would get closer and I’d be left behind and I let my jealousy get the better of me sometimes and acted like a total drama queen. This made us get into a lot of arguments and just became me and one of my friends just kinda competing for the attention or smth. That lasted until I moved out of the country and I feel like this was partly my fault although we were all wrong in a way. Till now I have jealousy issues and I’m trying to work on just telling myself “it’s okay for them to joke with others it’s okay that they have other friends too” makes me feel so toxic and I feel like a terrible friend. Hopefully I will stop being such a needy person at some point idk if it’s toxic to get jealous about small things but I’m trying my best.
Not sure anyone will even read all of that tho
you literally describe my feelings
One of the big eye-opening moments for me in my romantic relationship was when I would let jealousy consume me and constantly ask about this female coworker my boyfriend had and voice how hurt I was that they would talk about so many different things and spend so much time together (duh- they're at work 8+ hours a day). One day my boyfriend turned to me and said "I have never once thought about her in the ways that you think and say, but because you keep saying these things time and time again, every time I'm around her it's all I can focus on". And damn. After that day I realized I need to chill and focus on my own good qualities that make him want to be with me, and ever since my jealousy has been little to none. I was single-handedly sabotaging my relationship by feeding my boyfriend my own insecurities that then manifested in his personal life. It's not that he started to like her or anything, but when he was around her he would think about all my worries and stress and it stressed him out, pushing him further from me. The fact that you're jealous means that you care a lot about yourself and the people you love, but expressing your love in ways like the video presented, is damaging to your friends and your own self image. There's a reason these people are your friends, they like spending time with you. You just need to focus more on valuing that time with them and how that makes you and them feel rather than focusing on other peoples' feelings that you likely just made up in your head :) It gets better, friend. Be kind to yourself.
I feel good about myself for reading all of that
Same tbh, I get so jealous of my friends and how they hangout even when I'm occasionally not there, even though the invite me when I can come and welcome me. Thankfully I've known that I should be careful to not act on my jealousy. Although, when I realize my jealousy, I get really guilty, even when I'm not acting on it, but I realize that I should atleast improve my mentality because, hey atleast I'm not acting on it so the only person I'm hurting is myself, so if I can't help nudge my mentality to be more positive and find things that I'm proud of about myself, then it wouldn't hurt anyone. Still a work in progress though..
So relatable 💔 I experienced that too. Huhu hope we can work this out.
advice: you can't be a toxic friend if you don't have friends.
i don’t have friends ‘cause i’m toxic 💅😭
@@sanije6428 oop
Thank you! I've been following your words for quite a long time, and I have to say, they work like a c h a r m.
thanks
Bro that's genius
Me: actually being a good friend.
My friends: You're a really good friend to me.
My paranoid ass: Am I toxic?!
Well you did just call yourself a good friend 😂
same
fr tho 😩✌️
Same lol😂
Me:
In all honesty i was very toxic last year and it took all of my friends leaving for me to understand that. Since then i’ve been owning up to my sh*t and trying to better myself, I’m still not fully there yet so this video helped me a lot. Thank you
POV: you clicked this to see if your FRIEND, not you, is toxic.
seriously though, the fact that my "friend" matches all of these is overwhelming.
I wish you better friends and I hope that friend realised that he/she/them are being toxic💜
@@ayeshamurudkar3380 thank youu, same for you
❤️- 7 signs -❤️
1- you are needy
2- you are controlling
3- you are inconsiderate
4- you give unsolicited advice
5- you act critical to them
6- you talk more about yourself then them
7- you aren't happy for their success
Thank u friend!
Edit: friend!
Wtf
Stfu bots
These bots..
Tysm❤️
To everyone who clicked on this video: if you recognise one or more of these signs within you, it doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible person. We’ve all made mistakes and no ones perfect. Recognising that you’re doing something wrong, even if you genuinely do love your friends, is the first step to getting better.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This need more like
Sorry if my eng bad
thank you so much for saying this. after watching this video, it made me want to distance myself, but I feel less terrible after reading this. I just want to be nice to people and treat them how I want to be treated.
I feel so bad, i am very controlling over my best friend ever since we went to separate schools. I have always been the loner, quiet one and always relied on her. Now she has new friends and I am just so scared she is going to replace me. I love her so much and would probably Jill myself if she wasn’t there. But I always check when she was last online and when she is not replying to me. And spam call her when she does, what should I do?
Thank you for that ^^
The worst part is that most people who watch this, even if it's true about them, they either won't realize they're like this or they're in denial.
I just realized I do some of this to my boyfriend. I feel really bad, he's like the sweetest and kindest person I wasn't even aware of my own actions.
Congratulations!! Now you are aware💜
The fact that you are true to yourself about it shows that you really are willing to change.
Good to know u took time to watch this video, understand and change.
I’m always so terrified that I’m a toxic friend, I really don’t try to be but I’m terrified I am, I related to about 2-3 of these, I just really don’t wanna be a toxic friend..
Nobody's perfect ❤️. I think that even if you do relate to some of these you can still be a good friend. For example, the unsolicited advice one could be good because you want to help your friend.
Same here
it's really scary, I definitely understand.
well, awareness is the first step to improvement :))
Everyone is going to mess up from time to time, but recognizing your toxic behavior/traits can help prevent conflict in friendships! :)
To everyone watching this, congratulations! You’re not a bad person. The fact you even took the time to watch this says you want to try harder and make sure you’re not toxic without knowing. Good job.
im still a bad person i just dont want to be
Fr it's like I'm becoming the person I didn't want to be
Nah I’m just a toxic friend man I got all those stuff
"Knowing you’re a bad person doesn’t make you a better person"
Ty!
I always try to remind myself to work on two things I have become aware I do.
1. I get clingy, but it’s usually in relationships not friendships
2. I need to balance my talking about myself and them talking about themselves
Today I have realized that I've also been at fault with my friends and I've been a problem in my friend ship for the longest time. I've been toxic without knowing and I haven't been the best person for my friends, my parents, my siblings, and everyone in general. I've been a selfish human being, I've been crying not because of what my friends told me but because of what I've been doing to my friends and not realizing it. My apologies have become empty and I'll never be forgiven until I take a step to change. I would also ask my friends to get me food and I would always be selfish with every chance that I got and today I've realized that I've been a guilt tripping, narcissistic, selfish and prideful friend and I need to become better. And I hope one am about to become better because most of my promises have been empty, and it's time for me to change.
"I'd rather have an enemy who admits he hates me, than a friend who secretly put me down"
Have a great day
ooohh, dats truee for me
Me toooo
Word bruh
thumbs up
Wow, how did you insert image in your comment?
moral of the story: dont treat your friend like how you treat your sibling(s).
Bruh...XD
LMAO IKRRRR
lol yasssssssss
I don’t have siblings 😕😐
@@Hannah-le1dh be grateful 😭
I feel like I'm that and I don't want my friendships with anyone being taken away from me. Even along with my family.
after watching this, I'm starting to know my own faults.
It feels like I'm the one controlling others because I'm in need these days.
Watching this video from start to finish, I’m starting to realize that I have some of those toxic tendencies without even realizing it and I hate it. I’m a good person at heart, I’m just trying so hard to shake off the insecurities that I have that created those toxic tendencies and I’m trying so hard to drain them out of me.
I’m sure we’ve all been a toxic friend at one point or another. We just don’t like to admit it. And We cry and complain about it when others do it us.
This. Absolutely this.
Yes, you are right. inside us Humans there are good and evils both.when time arrives,it's up to us we want to become evil or good.
sometimes that toxic ideas comes in my but i always erase them before i can become toxic friend.
But I've received toxic friendships that's why I don't want to become toxic.I know how it feels.
@Aswathi Balan same,and when I try to tell them my problems or behaves like angry and rude they can't bear it.
i tolerate their anger and other emotions so why can't they . i am also Human , can't remain with smiley face and cool all time.
Really why they can't ,
like seriously?
Ouch 😞
You're right in a way, but I admit that I've been a toxic friend for a long time (I'm still a bit) and I never realised it before I had a toxic friend who did the same things to me... 😔
The thing is... How can I change? 🤔
This actually made me realise how much I talk about myself wherever I'm with friends. I do need to fix that and my insecurity
It’s great that you are working to improve yourself!
I’m glad you noticed and are going to work on it!
Same here, I’ll have to work on that!
fr same here i really try hard not to but sometimes i just don’t notice it 🥲
Okay 1. I didn't expect this comment to get like, it was mainly just a reminder so that I wouldn't forget 2. It's heartwarming to see other people have the same flaws as me, makes me feel a little less alone
It’s just so pleasant to watch this video, and realize how much I’ve grown as a person… like a year and a few months ago I was the majority of the things this video says, but thanks to my family, friends and specially myself, and my goals on being more secure in order to love myself, I get to change a lot trough last year and this year, becoming the person I’m now. This video just make me so happy. Though I’m not totally perfect, but I’ve grown and that’s my biggest achievement. And for those who feel bad, don’t worry! It’s just a process! Trust the process! You’ll get to be the person you wanna be starting with yourself. My best wishes and the best luck to everyone!
I feel like I’m a toxic person but I don’t do any of these things I-
these are only some I guess 🌚
Well then ur probably not
You aren't,no worries :) I showed my friend this because I realized I might be becoming a bit toxic to her (I do 2-3 of these things 0_0) and she panicked thinking she was toxic lol. Sweetest person I've ever met. She's not toxic, and neither are you
Adira DiLiberto thank you so much🥺
@@aimeeannan Yw :)
I’d say I relate to the last one. When my friends accomplish big things, I congratulate them, but on the inside I feel inferior and jealous of them.
Same but I don't pray them a failure or something bad I just want to also get or accomplish what they did so I get jealous but then it just goes away late.
It normal to feel that way. Whats bad is not celebrating their success and not feeling happy for them.
Well i dont want them to fail irl i just want them to fail in a video game 😄
same but my friend is in middle school and getting scholarships already so ofc i feel pretty inferior
Same
Watching this awakened something in me. Especially the last point, which is enabled by several parents by making their child feel smaller and compare so often to their friends. I know one of my ex friends who did this to me. She was envious of me and even started bullying me, to the point where my grades fell. We were such good friends before, I always wondered why she changed like that. Now I know, her origin story starts from her parent's trash parenting skills.
I’ve always been jealous of my friends who always get the better thing. I’ve always congratulated them through my anger and sadness but I realised watching this video how toxic that is. Thank you for showing me this and making this video! 🙏
Signs you're not a toxic friend: You clicked this.
@Vishakha Singh Same. I'm a pain in her butt. I call her every single time something small happens. I think I need to change that!
Edit- thx ppl 👁️💧👄💧👁️
Lmao
I talked it out with her and she said she doesn't feel that way about me.
To sum up, all I'm trying to say is communicate with your loved ones. 💖🌸
@@junsdangerousenglishteache1079 hm, doesn’t sound like you’re toxic, it sounds like you’re just a little bit clingy, maybe give them a little more space sometimes, but honestly that’s it! doesn’t seem toxic as to say
👁️👄👁️👍
not necessarily, some people can be insecure and think they are toxic when they aren’t :)
Eehh no.
Also being a toxic friend is caring too much about the friendship. I’ve ruined so many friends by overthinking everything like this. Sometimes it’s better to just chill
This is me rn
That's stupid
@@tidepodpadthai2633 that's not stupid it is incredibly suffocating to have someone constantly worrying about you or being overly attached and clingy. Some people prefer to be alone sometimes to recharge, others prefer to have people around at all times. It isn't necessary to "mother" everyone just because you are very caring. Some people might find this annoying and might end up ignoring the friendship in the end.
I can relate to that, I’m ruining my friendship with my own best friend over this exact reason , I’m just learning to chill tf out and it’s showing everyone else’s true colours
I hate how much I relate to this...
If I vent to someone I don’t care if they’re unsure about advice, I just want them to reassure me that what I’m saying is valid, and why I shouldn’t harm myself. I only vent if I’m having a serious breakdown, it helps me calm down about it
this really helped me. i'm in a bit of a dark spot right now, and this genuinely helped me so so much with knowing i dont absolutely suck. this video is damn magnificent and i love that it was made.
A message to anyone watching this:
The fact you clicked on this video proves that you care about your friends,
Therefore you're not toxic :)
you can care but still be toxic
@Kim have u lived my life or something?
@Kim i said it due to my experience with toxic friends and being toxic person myself in the past
i love u
@@Alan_Shv they were agreeing with you
The thought of hurting others hurts me even more than when others hurt me.
felt
this.^
I used to be like that but now I'd say I'm more confident and I prioritize myself more than anyone (thinking of yourself before others doesn't always mean you're selfish)
Same
@@entyope I think you're missing the point, I'm not saying one is more important than the other. I'm just saying it's sometimes easier to ignore another person's hurtful actions when you know it's not your fault. But when you are the one to have caused pain to someone else and know and understand how you made them feel it's very difficult to live with yourself.
I’m just glad I’m not any of these things. However, it does make me think about my actions a lot more and how to be careful, I appreciate this channel as it has changed me for the better, since it help me evolve and get better in certain situations and more.
I watched this video because I just recently lost a friend who I felt became very selfish and toxic. We were actually bestfriends and I concidered her a sister but there was countless times that she would get upset with me for little things such as not wanting to hang out or simple not being able to at that exact said moment. This just carried thru out our entire friendship and I thought that maybe she would mature and get over such small things but she’s 21 now and I’m 19 an she acts the same and puts all of her problems onto other people. I guess it didn’t feel good to always be blamed for not being there for her at every beck and call and gaslit when things didn’t go her way to the point where she told me multiple times for simply not hanging out with her that “i make her feel fucking worthless” I don’t really know what I could have done differently but I do want the best for her and still love and care about her. I guess I’m just seeing friendships in a new light because most of the “signs” from this video applied in our friendship an it makes me really sad that I couldn’t even get a point across with out her having to say she was right ect. So for me I’m future friendships I have to know where to draw a line with my self and a friend I can’t always be there for someone 24/7 and feel bad that I wasn’t and I can’t have someone try to make me feel bad for not meeting their expectations. It literally felt like she wanted to be in a relationship the way she tried to control me and I just want her to realize that u dont necessarily have to hang with someone everyday to still be close and be friends with them. I also was becoming toxic in the way that I didn’t really care about our friendship anymore and was just at a breaking point already with her sh*t and felt like she was just creating problems out of the blue to get me to hang with her. Anyways have a good day to who ever reads my stupid rant🤣
When you’re watching this because you are scared that you’re being toxic but also don’t talk to any friends because you’re scared that they’ll think you’re clingy.
Edit: that’s a lotta likes-
Yes
this
Well only one of them but yeah
So true 😭
or because you dont wanna bother them :')
The talking about myself is just because I have isolated myself for so long I have literally nothing else to talk about lol
I can relate to this so much bc I isolate myself to after being tired of friendships since they turn out to be toxic
@@gwynethmadelo8146 I isolated myself from my friendship in 7th grade cuz my friend liked my ex but my ex still liked me so I left (I moved) and they’re prob dating and I’m honestly not hurt by it. I do miss them tho they were great friends. Now I’m currently going to 9th
I'm so glad I found this comment, reading it helped me feel I wasn't alone in this place I'm in rn and I really hope everyone who's come to this place for help sees this
@@nutterbutter6667 well you were only a baby in the very middle of middle school. Your not going to be thinking about it when your 20 so it’s always good to move on.
I’ve been homeschooled since the 4th grade and I’m going back to public school for high school. I’ve been raised to act more adult, so I can’t relate to anyone my own age. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I think of everyone my age as if their so much younger than me. My perception of how people should behave has been seriously altered.
reminds me of a person who never stops talking about themself and doesnt care about things whenever i speak, they even admit to not paying attention..
I gotta admit, I do most of the things in this video. But usually not to my friends, I do it in usual... it’s my personality, energetic, cheerful and stubborn
It hurts when you realize that you are becoming toxic😭
Yea
Yea :((
It hurts more to know you've always been toxic ಥ‿ಥ
Well hey that doesn’t make you terrible people.
I mean now you know so now you can make an effort to improve yourself
@@nevergonnagiveyouup1180 yeah it does, because nowadays, people are toxic as a trend
I need videos like this. I need to figure out how to be a better person.
Same tbh.
:))
same:(
I wish everyone was like you 🥺
Same here
As someone who has never had any true friends, I've had no one to lose. Being alone gives me time to observe other friend groups around me-doing all of these things, and yet they still maintain a close social circle. Everyone full of toxic negativity so much so that they don't recognise it in each other. It reminds me of why I'd rather be alone that in any such friendship circle.
A terrible quality I have is lashing out at loved ones when they cause me any inconvenience. I hate it and I’ve tried to work on it so many times but I’m afraid one day it’ll be too much for them.
I feel so disgusted that I can't appreciate my friend and celebrate her accomplishments just because of some petty jealousy. I know I need help with my envious feelings, I just don't know where to get it.
Hey, so I know this will ruin this comment, but I just want to thank everyone that liked this. I also want to let everyone that relates to this to know that they are loved and that I am praying for them.
I also feel like that sometimes and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it, you can't help but be jealous sometimes but what you can do is to proactively make them and yourself better, if you have a test encourage your friend to read and as you do that you will slowly but surely get better
@@mercye6151 thanks for the advice, I will try to better myself.
Hi! I think it's important to realise that your thoughts aren't you and your emotions are simply that; emotions. Give meditation and mindfullness a go, I think it provides a good avenue in dealing with these types of emotions and learning about yourself.
@addison k Hi those people are toxic. Ill be your friend if you want but I understand if not. 💗🎀
@addison k I get where you're coming from and have been there, too. Try talking to them. Sure, you might lose some of them, but if they're really your friends, they will understand. Also, if you *do* lose them, there will always be more friends to come in the future.
Acknowledging being toxic is tough, but it’s better to acknowlegde and apologize for your actions instead of acknowledging it and denying the factual.
Unless the recipient refused to accept your apology :/
Welp, that's four nearly identical accounts, probably bots, trying to scam you. That's rough...
Casey Flores, that is so true.
Keks Dose yeah it's tough. I struggle with the physical change part. It is truly easier said than done, but I accept your comment
Yeah I did one of them tho but that’s cuz my friend is sus sometimes
thank you! i’ll make sure to look out for these things in the future. ur a very helpful channel !
This really helped, as someone who has lost many friends, even though it may have been there fault, I can look back and see where I’ve gone wrong to
Needy: Yes
Controlling: Yes
Inconsiderate: Yes
Unsolicited advice: Yes
Self absorbed: Yes
Critical: Yes
Jealous: No
You are a toxic friend to yourself.
*YES*
My goals are beyond your understanding
Eh
Eh
No
No
No
Yes
Yes based on vids order
I need to stop relying on myself.
This is so deep. And so true.
UA-cam: Are you toxic to your friends?
Me: But I dont have fr-
UA-cam : *but are you though*
So trueeee.. Just wanted to chill watching UA-cam, but this video made me believe I'm indeed a toxic friend lol
@@hareemkhawaja1095 it made me realize that my friend is lol.
@@cemreozcan8343 that shit hurts
😂😂😂😂
haha
I’m thankful I found this video honestly. I felt like I was becoming more of a toxic/bad friend than I realized as the years went on and forgetting to greet my friend on their birthday was the final straw. I just want to be a better friend, I wish I was a better friend. I don’t deserve them.
This was really helpful for me. Thank you! I'm trying to change and be a better person with my friends.
When you realize you’re a toxic friend but so are all your friends: “Let’s see who is the backstabber today??”
It's a non-stopping cycle of talking behind each others back.
That’s messed up
@@olafandsamantha9027 lmao it’s all so messed up
No. Cut them off and try to stop being toxic.
No lol you all are 😭
No one can avoid being a least a little toxic sometimes, if u relate to some, it’s okay atelast you’ve made yourself aware so you don’t hurt anyone
thank u for saying this, i tend to worry a lot about it. I wanna be a good friend
@@choutzuyu8915 ^^^^
@@choutzuyu8915 same here, I tend to feel I am controlling in a way though my friend keeps saying it's fine. The only things I really boss them around to do is if they have to do it in order to be mentally or physically okay just sometimes I feel like I've gone too far and so I tend to talk to my friend about it
Yeah, I agree. I've done a few of these things sometimes. Always try to keep the toxicity to a minimum...
I thought i was toxic because i would hate replying to her all the time and answering her never ending questions about my life. she would give me advices even when i don't ask and i thought i was ungrateful and toxic for not liking all those advices.but watching this video i think she is the toxic one. She always wants to know what i am up to. She becomes furious when i get better grades than her. She always says that i shouldn't be friends with anyone else. She makes me feel sry for everything like not replying immediately.
From past few days im realising that she is the toxic one. I don't think its my fault for not meeting her expectations.i hate being around her cause it makes me soo uncomfortable and feel guilty sad and hopeless all the time. I think i should cut connection with her and i have tried it before but honestly it's not easy. what do i do?
I noticed that I talk a lot about myself - all because of this video. I'm starting to fix it :)
Thanks so much for this.
I was really very jealous of my best friend talking to other girl. We had a fight for it.
All thanks to her, she straigh forwardly said i am being toxic.
I will try to more self aware from today
This literally described EVERYTHING my “best friend” does
Same here :(
Oh no 😨😥
Same
Talk with them about it. If they react with more toxicity, cut off all contact with them.
You’ll be able to rest. It’s better for you and could be better for them if they realize how wrong they were at some point.
Uff
Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship
if I could I'd block myself
@@matheussanthiago9685 well there's a reason why you weren't given that option isn't it..you are supposed to rise above all that..and realise the goodness within...and the fact that you are watching this shows somewhere you wanna be better..
Your inner child has only one person he trusts the most..and that is you.. don't talk to him like that..
You are amazing!!!
This comment truly gave me pause. I need to work on my relationship with myself then
Damn, I must have terrible relationships then 😕
Wrong
Ok, this makes me more at ease, and makes me understand that I wasn't the problem in a particular situation that happened during the lockdown with my (now ex) best friend...
I feel so relieved, I dont have any signs but when I saw the thumbnail i started panicking and questioning myself am I acctually toxic...
2:34 mans straight up called her a clown 💀XD
PLS😭💀
That made me feel a ton better 😂😂
😂
Lol
it’s good when the lesson is about ourselves, this way we don’t always blame others, we have flaws too, it’s not always about someone else, thanks ❤️
Yeppp really agreed with youu. Feel more comfortable if it's about our self
Yea but this really sounds like one of my friends that I’ve known for years :/
They do hurt my feelings quite a bit, i dont know if im just being sensitive or what theyre doing is just not nice at all.
She does point out my insecurities, things I think I’m really good at until she says something lik “Oh come on, I bet I can do that too.”
Like drawings I draw for her 🤗 Until she barely shows any interest. That part is probably just me but it still bothers me a little
Yeah!
Yeah I watched the video to see if I am being toxic but realized it's what one of my friends does all the time, so I guess the maker of this video really did a great job of making me watch this :)
Since 2019 I’ve always known or thought it was my fault not only but if it is about me yes
I'm not watching because I don't want to recognize my flaws and mistake but I'm glad to know that there'd a lot of horrible friends like me
Oh never mind I'm not THAT bad lololol
I could definitely work on stepping back with the advice. I try to be helpful, but I know sometimes I jump into advice before I think about if they want it or not.
dude i always accidentally make things about myself without realizing so ive been trying to limit how many times i start a sentence with different variations of “i” when no one asked me about myself. it’s actually really helped!! growth is possible and i love you all :)
It's something I'm trying to get better at too since I always add myself into the situation when I'm trying to make somebody else feel better. It's not about me, it's about them
@@mjhtv5397 Honestly felt, sometimes I think I am helping by adding myself in while comforting a friend with situations that might be similar to theirs by adding in my own experiences and end up making it up about me of what happened and how I did things and I hate it when I do that cause I dont mean to since to myself I always thought that maybe it would help them feel better when they find out their not alone in those things yet realized that not everyone feels like that. Sometimes they dont mind it cause it helps with someone who has experience but sometimes they dont like it cause they just wanna talk and have someone just listen til they ask for their input. I really need to reel it in but gosh its hard when I always forget.
A mixture of No. 4: Giving Unsolicited Advice and No. 6: Talking more about Myself is the worst combo :c
Honestly I dont why we end up doing these things but I rlly wanna improve this
breaking point of realizing my friend was toxic was when i called to tell her i’d put my old dog to sleep. i was crying and devastated, and only managed to get out the sentence “had to put my baby to sleep” before she answered “that sucks. anyway-”. it was so jarring that i immediately tried to come up with a reason to leave the call and it made me evaluate the friendship. realized she’d treated me that way about much less important things too.
That’s really rude, hope you are good now. Sending my condolencens for you pup🤍
I’m so sorry. I hope you find friends and loved ones who will comfort you when that happens. Sending love to you and the pupper ❤️
Is the dog.... ded?
(Sorry, didn't mean to be rude. Just curious.)
@@aturmomsdoor when you “out an animal to sleep” it means something happened that they can’t take anymore, so you take them to the vet and they will inject them with something that makes them die. My condolences to the owner and they’re dog
Honestly that would be my breaking point too, i hope you have better friends now
It's very easy, after being friends with a toxic person for a long time, to develop some of those same toxic behaviours. It's normal to feel jealous or insecure, thats human. What's toxic is ACTING on those feelings, and refusing to work on yourself. Since you're already here, congratulations, you're probably not toxic! We can all learn a lot about how to be better friends to the ones we love, and you've made a great step in the right direction!
i can be a bit self-centred and can give unsolicited advice. but i'd gone through a lot so i'm working on it. and i'm actively trying to talk more about them. i'll totally celebrate their successes and be there for them though.
Me: literally does none of these
Also me: welp. I’m toxic.
Narcissistic comment
@@axkela ur right.
@@axkela how?
@@lesedikhupari3181 She said she does none of these bad things and then proceeded to act humble. Which no longer makes her humble if you get what I mean.
@@axkela oh, okay understood. I thought narcissists praise and see no faults in themselves
God, this is why I struggle to reach out to people, I'm worried I'm being too invasive
There’s nothing wrong with reaching out to people in times of need. It’s just important to know that as humans, it’s okay and needed to go through things alone sometimes. Regardless of how much advice or listening ears you have, ultimately, you’re gonna have to figure things out for yourself because you’re the only one in control of your life.
Thats why i try to first love myself, and observe till i know how to be a good person to myself abd others as well
Olives are invasive to Florida like everything else go back to Italy
@@Walter_hartwell_white87104 I'm British ;-;
@@justanolive1960 you spread to Florida
sometimes i really appreciate unsolicited advice. but i usually avoid giving advice because usually everybody feel like im judging them
I tried my best not to be one, but I guess some of my friends avoids me for my jealousy.
I always analyze my actions because I really don’t like people disliking me, it just feels like a bad decision in a video game.
Denon everyone doesn’t have to like you, it may get though always being worried about people liking you or not. I'm sure that once you think about it, there are many other things you rather spend your energy on.
Be a nice person but don't overdo it. There’s no need to spend a lot of energy on trying to get everyone to like you.
Love yourself instead. It feels nice.
Me too.
same
@@angelalalo8189 try to give some thought into my earlier comment to Denon😊
@@aliza1802 you too, try to give some thought into my earlier comment.😃
Is it bad that I feel like the friends I have aren’t really what I want. Like I don’t really feel like a real connection with them and it feels like I’m forcing it because it’s the only friendship I have. I have so much guilt built up inside for feeling this way.
I was in the same situation, and it’s not fun. The best thing I did was step up for myself and tell them that I want to hang out with other people. They took it maturely and I started hanging out with people that I feel comfortable with. Changed how I looked at people. :)
It’s not, people change. It’s no one’s fault for changing and you aren’t hurting anyone anyways, so just go do whatever you want 💅🏻
I don’t really have a best friend, or any best friends anymore. I used to have one, but then I moved, and we grew apart. Then I had another best friend, but there were some problems there, so that went out of the window too. I do have really nice friends, it’s not that, it’s just that they have other friends too you know. They have someone else. I don’t. I don’t have a friend of my own you know? They all have SOMEONE ELSE they can lean on, and I don’t have that kind of ‘safety net’. Not to sound selfish, because of course everyone is allowed to have other friends, but I just feel like I’m not first choice, and whenever that is, I feel the sudden urge to distance myself, or run somewhere, where no one knows who I am. Somewhere, where I can start fresh.
I feel the exact same way, you're not alone.
@@bread4life.142 I have that mindset too but in my case I don’t have anyone else. If I don’t have the friends I currently have, then there’s no one else so I have to somehow put up with the friends I currently have. And I’m not happy. I don’t even like these people most of the times but I don’t have any choice.
Very true. Thanks 4 the advice
A lot of times I would have trouble making friends, I tend to talk about things I like or do, but people where never interested, I soon learned that people like it more when you ask them how they’re doing or what they like, it made me learn that not everything conversation should be one sided. I think it really helped me a lot now ^^ I hope this advice can help too
I almost cried after watching this that Im toxic. I asked my friend if I am and she answered that if i think im toxic - I'm not. "Toxic people won't admit that they are toxic"
I have no frens ahahah Dam I will try tho
@@steve9203 You’ve got this, wishing you the best!
@@GtheCatLady I got frens just not a lot
I had a similar experience. I’d started to actually talk to my friend about some personal issues that I’d been dealing with and had been really scared to talk to any of my friends about, and I got really worried that I was being toxic by talking about my problems that my friend didn’t need to hear about. She was super nice and was always good with listening and offering advice, but I was really worried that I was being annoying or talking about something she didn’t want to hear about. One day I asked her if I was being a bad friend and she said that friends listen to each other’s problems, and she was actually happy to know that I trusted her with something I had never trusted anyone with before. It was just a whole experience in a lot of ways, and I try to always make sure I’m not talking too much or anything like that, but now I know not to feel guilty about being more open about stuff.
@@steve9203 Okay, well I still hope you have a great day!
i think ill just live without friends because ill always fear the fact they can replace me
Comfort yourself with the fact that the same goes the other way around
Imaginary friends won't ditch you.
Good for you man...I spent 13 years of my having friends come and go so fast but Whenever they come I think They are gonna be the one that I will be friends with forever...But I get replaced anyway
Long distance is the worst!!!
They can indeed replace any of us.
I guess for me, it is the memories that count, no matter if it ends
The constant sharing about myself instead of my friend is a habit for me that apparently strains friendships. I am even at high risk of losing them because of it 😓 now I know I may become toxic myself when I am genuinely a nice person
I feel great knowing that I am not a toxic friend, but it sucks realizing that some of my friends are very toxic
I just got out of a “friendship” with a person who was like this. I couldn’t do anything but now I’m actually happy for the first time in 6 years :).
girl i swear i can relate but the problem is i still didn't get out of the "friendship" and it's been 8 years already it's sickening
exactly my situation
@@abirsaidi9740 good luck
@@alice_so_kattish5445 thanks
I did the same, and it was a 4-year friendship, and i truly feel happy and way MOREE comfortable.
This gave me anxiety. I do call my friends when I'm upset and try my best to apologize when I feel like I've done something. I do say the wrong thing sometimes. Sometimes I do think about myself. I do feel like I'm generally a bad person nowadays, which is one of the reasons why I tried taking my life last week. I shouldn't be sharing this, I've just got absolutely no body to talk to, my parents won't even let me get a therapist or have me diagnosed for anything.
Hey I hope you are doing alright! Don't feel guilty for always calling your friends if you genuinely need it, if I was the one getting calls from you I'd be grateful you trusted me enough to express your emotions. Keep fighting friend
Also please don't take your life, think of those who will miss you even if it seems like nobody will, there definitely are. Your parents, friends, classmates.. death may seems like an easy way out but I beg you please do not!
I believe you're a great person if you know when to apologize if you think you've done something wrong! One of the first steps to becoming a better person is knowing when you go wrong. The fact that you're getting anxious over the possibility of being a toxic person (however know anxiety is not great at all.) shows you care about how you treat others, and that is amazing. Besides all of this, you have your own talents and quirks, your own interests, your own interesting view on life. Your love towards other people makes you a good person! We all have our errors and we can never be squeaky clean, so remember that
Just because you do one or two things, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend. Some people need to talk to others more, so if you call your friends every time something goes wrong then as long as they are okay with it and you are willing to do the same for them, it’s not worth worrying about. Also it’s normal to talk about yourself. Humans are pretty selfish creatures and we like talking about our lives because what else is there to talk about? You’re not gonna talk about when your neighbor took out the trash, you’re gonna talk about what you did on Saturday afternoon because it’s your life and your experiences, so as long as there is some back and forth and you recognize when someone has something of more importance, you’re okay. Also you sometimes have more to talk about than others. I’ve run into plenty of times where I’d ask someone about their week and they would say nothing happened, so I’d be left carrying the conversation with what I did, so if there’s an unbalance of interesting things to talk about, that can happen too. Don’t try to take your life either. You never know what you could be missing out on. If things get really painful and your parents don’t let you try therapy, look things up. The internet has a lot of therapies that you can do without the help of someone trained
Get help from your school? That’s how I got connected to my therapist
Everything started from the chat my form teacher has w everybody in the class to try help them/ get to know them better. I broke down in tears from the pure concern that I’ve never felt for my wellbeing before, and after da chat she got me connected w the school therapist. That’s right lol my school is good like that, and my teacher is amazing like that. Anddd I’m just lucky like that.
Actually now that I think back on it I might be dead rn if not for her, or be spiralling deeper into depression without even knowing it until I’m on my last breathe and be like, oh, so I’m actually so... sad. Huh. Who knew lol
This was recommended and it really helped thanks
This actually made me realize all my friends are toxic, they all have every single one of these traits.
To everyone who is reading this, there is no such thing as the perfect friend. Because we are imperfect. That's okay! But there is a reason why we have an option to change to be better..we can do this!!
true! and a real friend will not demand you to be perfect, but instead they will accept your imperfections, which is what you should also do with theirs ^_^
Bear in mind being self aware isn’t enough. You must change if you have toxic behaviour.
Disagree, all my friends will tell you I’m the perfect friend
Seeing this in your reccomend: panik
You have no friends: kalm
Realizing you’re starting to get friends: PANIK
Breezy TV- XD loll this made my day and its only 7.36 AM LOL
SAme. it's real panic
Take my like 👍
yes YES
My bestie was once just like this, she thought it's a burden to have friend and close friend. But she said just few days ago, if she were never meet me, she wouldn't have known that befriend can be so chill and comfortable. It's all about mutual interest, as long as you and ur friend have interest on each other and is considerate to each other level, befriend with someone won't be that much of a burden ☺️ i seek to her out of my curiosity of her thoughts, i totally love how her perspective to the world, i need her to keep on learning new things. For her, she find me comfortable and not controlling, she also have the need of someone like me to feel the freedom. Soo now my besties too are just like her, i love it now. I hope you'll find yours, cus it's actually really nice to have someone you're comfortable with☺️
I never thought i was a toxic friend when this video popped out of my recommendations i said to myself "i didn't notice that huh." sometimes we don't notice that we become a toxic person/friend until something or someone acknowledges it.
I don't know how do I stop this, but thank you so much
youtube: **recommends me this**
me: **starts to have an existentional crisis**
Haven't seen a summary so here ya go
1. you are Needy
2. you are controlling
3. You're inconsiderate
4. You give unsolicited advice
5. You act critical of them
6. You talk more about yourself than them
7. You're not happy for their success
Hope this helped
This made me cry a lot, because I just had a recent fight because I am the toxic friend apparently, and I "always make myself the victim."
I feel like I'm becoming a toxic friend... I used to be such a good listener and always there for everyone. But lately, especially with my closest friends, I feel like I've just been talking about myself a lot, interrupting and not listening... I also think I've been inconsiderate and always want my side heard. I grew up with a parent who never truly listened to my side and always had to win. Now I feel like I'm becoming that way...