your comment warms me. I used to always listen to the never ending voices in my head in a situation instead of just sucking it all in and to just actually feel the present.
I really dislike the idea of "defining" yourself and "being who you are" these are empty statements. People are always changing. If I held on to my core values from 5 years ago, I'd be a dead-beat loser.
Even if you remain the same, society and others can change and then so do you as a result to others - which effects you. so yeah we always change unless we live in a complete bubble.
+Arbbym9er You can be who you are and change at the same time. Its an interesting contradiction that makes the "self". Part of being your best is to know your beliefs and be present and aware. From that you can gain new perspectives and new beliefs.
In the end, it comes down to your beliefs. If you are consciously aware of your deep down beliefs you can be "present". So yes, get to know yourself, find out what you believe in and accept it as your truth, then you will be able to stand up for yourself with confidence. Not that you couldn't change your believes over time, but that doesn't affect the "right now "-situatitions Cuddy was talking about.
+pennymac16 makes sense to an extent, it gets a bit fuzzy when she goes on about "core values" and what one's "story" is... that seems like generalities that don t exactly relate to the individual nuances of a person's character...
+jeremyshambles That's one way to see it. I think these 'core values' can be equated to one's (core) believes (maybe one is the derivative of the other) and one's own story can help in understanding how we've come to have these believes in the first place. At least, that's what I've been doing =)
It's not really Bullshit. People believe in ethology, which is the study of animal behaviors. But when people like this study human society and begin teaching us what they've learned about the emotional social dynamics of our species, people call it Bs lol
+doodelay If it was bull shit there wouldn't be great con men and Physics that are great at reading people, and using cold reading.. If you can't notice yourself recognizing things by reading the person or the situation you might be a little stupid.
i figured im russian submarine. . ... child of my time.. i stilL calL them ...ehm.. who answers? kenneth? .. its. ref address shift kinda indicating what defining measures ..:');
im a stacked coke high pyramid from a one dollar bill.... child of my time.... spoke to the one without limbs..... chemtrails satan, jesus, God, me answers. i liVe On Interglactic Desmonds.
Your "story" is not who you are. That's why it's called a STORY. It's a fiction weaved by the mind. Every word every said, every idea ever thought about a tree -- is not a tree. Same with you.
This is true in most senses. Her video seems to be about that part of us that interacts - the ego. Her phrases like "knowing who you are" "your story" etc. hint at this. The ego, while a fiction of the mind, is a primary tool for which it interacts with the world. However, fundamentally, this is not who we 'are', but more of a self that is projected BY that which we are. The problem comes when people don't know the difference. I hope that's what you're referring to?
"Knowing your story" is in fact a misnomer in all cases, though. We are organic ever changing beings whos present past and future are constantly in flux. Stories are written in ink, and one would have a self limiting illusion to think their 'story' is static.
+JamesThomas You can't ever know anything but the story your own mind weaves about yourself though. Any form of objectivity is in this case literally impossible.
+raizumichin Being aware that the story the mind weaves is not your authenticity, is a kind of knowing, isn't it? We may not "know"what we truly are, but we know what we are not. Does that make sense? It may be a bit strange to considerer, but it can be an important step in living in harmony with reality. IMO
Master Oogway said it best in Kung Fu Panda: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift... that is why it is called the present"... quality movie!
Wow, a lot of what she said; you can tell she got it based on her own experiences and intuition. Very clear and honest information here. She nailed it.
how do I know and express "my story" if I've experienced ego death and feel that all things of this universe are interconnected? I understand the importance of presence, but one can be present without the need for an ego or an ideology or belief system, if anything every situation should be approached as openly as possible to objectively see every perspective rather than a personal subjective one.
I believe you must seperate yourself from others, while also appreciating what they do for you. Like man seperated himself on the food chain chart, your ego must be separate from others. So they dont affect your convictions
Of course she is correct, it requires some deep thought and honesty with yourself. You need to be self aware! Just notice what is happening with yourself over a couple of hours.
I don't know if this is still relevant to Big Think's video output, but I'd like to point out that this is an example of a video with a woman explaining her ideas and no one has a problem with it, even though a little while ago people interpreted the backlash against certain videos as a sign of rampant misogyny. Truth of the matter is that actual misogyny is extremely rare, people don't have a problem with women, they have a problem with people pretending someones ideas must matter simply because they are female. Anyway, I know it's not relevant to this particular video, because it's pretty excellent, but I really think it needs to be said, because I hate to see people who aren't hateful smallminded bigots being portayed as such.
+Zoran Bošnjak Just listen to people and don't get anxious. Know your own beliefs and thoughts so you don't panic when asked a question. Being "With it" is key
I always try to draw a picture in my head when I encounter something I don't understand and a picture needs a focus(s). Or in the context of the mind: concepts. I like the concept of feeling "threatened" in social situations as Amy put it. Ironically being aware of that puts me at general ease also maybe that I understand and see the picture I drew.
I've never had social anxiety so I don't really relate to this. Even public speaking doesn't bother me. I have seen people cave under social pressure though and it's sad when it happens. A friend of mine is absolutely brilliant and can't even make it through a college class because of his social anxiety.
This seems to be a Western problem. In the middle east, where I lived for a few years, people just feel free to express themselves. I love you is a normal part of their conversation. Here in London, even making eye contact is a challenge for people. The evolutionary arguments this lady suggests doesn't seem to stand up when comparing middle Eastern or Western societies. What I see is the religious vs non religious societies. Non religious societies take a toll on people's confidence because everything depends on your market value, good much money you can make. In religious societies, we're all children of God, therefore brothers and sisters, not strangers and competitors as in Western societies.
What about people with autism? from what i understand they sometimes have to learn social interactions rather than freely express them. does that mean that they aren't present?
+Lea Meisel My understanding goes like this: Autism spectrum disorders really mean that putting things into context....things like facial expressions, tone of voice, surroundings, and flow of conversation, all take concentration. A great deal of concentration for some people. Even once a person learns what a smile means, and puts it into context of a friendly person, in a friendly environment, it takes concentration to maintain that connection...like constantly re-tuning a radio station. Autism spectrum disorders can't filter as much of the noise out of the relevant social information. It takes an incredible amount of patience to communicate with people that suffer from those disorders, because the "polite" signals you're sending them, saying that you're not understanding, or indicating that you want them to understand, are not being picked up. That doesn't mean they can't communicate, or even that they don't understand what you want from them. They are just focusing on those things many people would discount as noise, like body sensations, color, light, and motion.
I totally see that and it makes a lot of sense, but it must be quite difficult to have this emotional/social presence when they're having to put so much energy into things that are usually easy such as confidence and charm as discussed in her last point
+Dorifto Kingu! I have an iq of 143 and i have it in my head is that really weird couse you need to learn that i am nor happy with your negative response
+Etime Use that IQ for something useful then. Stating your age and saying that you "understand this and it's too easy" makes you seem quite insecure (ironic isn't it?). This video is only basics of presence and social interactions so keep going further to get to more interesting stuff.
This video talk in physical social interactions. And what Amy Cuddy is saying is very true and realistic. I do believe that kind of lacks of real advice. It describes the situations and put them in perspective but doesn't give solutions in my opinion. I made a video however that may give some solutions and that speaks also about online interactions (because people who don't feel comfortable talking to other people physically, usually talk with someone online). And I tell in this my video a bit of how it works and what do you have to do to move on with your life. P.S. Don't get scared by my video beginning it's just an attempt to make a joke, but most of the video is serious. Here is the link: ua-cam.com/video/QB44WP3QaaA/v-deo.html
Look, the truth is these days job markets are shrinking but candidates are increasing more and more. People are smarter than ever and capable than ever, but there are less jobs, as a vast majority of the jobs are already lost due to automation. This gives employers the chance to exploit their employees even more. So it's not your fault if you didn't get a job even after a good interview, don't beat yourself for that. It's just demand & supply, the very basic principle of economy.
Unfortunately the first step of knowing your own story is something a lot of people are not capable of doing since it requires deep introspection which some people can't do even if they try.
darling,.. i aint likable in many ways. .. diva, arrogance, attitude... sure.. insecurities show honestly there... or murder ;) :P . . trust! its been an issue... like... like since since THE UNFAIR INJUSTICE!! . . WelL it dont matter the or no honesty as much as the getting what conditioned by. thats the next to that desency met encounter relativity in existence. ... they say as do i, adhd difference in cognition. not a disorder. but to that belitteling grown man... n thats why maybe point ing that out... they dont sjstter or schitzo when gotta stop the abuse n responsably to own feelings n not have any to colLect from idealism, school of tjought or philosophy mediating lingo settings as lsst fix cogn bias ref to authority.
+henkiedebomb oooh I see, when you say "depressed students" you mean yourself and are just lumping the rest of us in with you. Yes how thoughtful of you.
+Coffee Needham I've read that depression is very common amongst students. I thought that my reason for the depression, a mild case of autism, would be the reason for other people as well to be depressed. And for that group I don't think this method will work 😊
Where does BT find these people? Respectfully, If you don't "land the job" in today's solidified system, you WILL fall through the cracks with much higher probabilities of entropy.
Optimize Social Interactions...meh...ok if you're an algorithm. Ever get the feeling you're being increasingly fed a narrative and a vocabulary that can be massaged and manipulated primarily to grab your attention for some other purpose than your own ?
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I use to gawk at this kinda stuff, but as I've grown wiser I've learned to contextualize it's universality.
+omgutubeismylife Is there a way to tell what made you or helped you become wiser?
+omgutubeismylife Exactly. As with many things, the more I learn, the more I see how many different things there are between mere black and white :)
+pennymac16 I started to believe that I was capable of doing anything.
+omgutubeismylife I don't understand how believing in one's omnipotence would lead one to be wiser. And how and why did you start to believe that?
+pennymac16 because belittling yourself isn't being humble, and thinking you know your limits is as arrogant as thinking you have none.
Amazing assessment. I can totally relate to what you are describing, but was never able to verbalize it. What you say make so much sense. Thank you.
She's talking about me in literally every social situation.
Wow great video. I was skeptical at first because of her use of diction but she really won me over
Be yourself, keep calm and be mentally present. 👌🏽
I believe it is about staying connected to our feelings...that is the essence of presence. Less mind, more heart!
your comment warms me. I used to always listen to the never ending voices in my head in a situation instead of just sucking it all in and to just actually feel the present.
The point in the ending about the incapability of being present all the time, was very wise in my opinion, and important to include.
Thats the most resonating video this month. Thank you.
I really dislike the idea of "defining" yourself and "being who you are" these are empty statements. People are always changing. If I held on to my core values from 5 years ago, I'd be a dead-beat loser.
ive heard that your personality stops changing around age 27
Then hold down to your current values. Stop purposefully missing the point guys.
Even if you remain the same, society and others can change and then so do you as a result to others - which effects you. so yeah we always change unless we live in a complete bubble.
+Tridink that is absolutely false, people are changing constantly. Don't believe that lol
+Arbbym9er You can be who you are and change at the same time. Its an interesting contradiction that makes the "self". Part of being your best is to know your beliefs and be present and aware. From that you can gain new perspectives and new beliefs.
In the end, it comes down to your beliefs. If you are consciously aware of your deep down beliefs you can be "present". So yes, get to know yourself, find out what you believe in and accept it as your truth, then you will be able to stand up for yourself with confidence. Not that you couldn't change your believes over time, but that doesn't affect the "right now "-situatitions Cuddy was talking about.
+pennymac16 makes sense to an extent, it gets a bit fuzzy when she goes on about "core values" and what one's "story" is... that seems like generalities that don t exactly relate to the individual nuances of a person's character...
+jeremyshambles That's one way to see it. I think these 'core values' can be equated to one's (core) believes (maybe one is the derivative of the other) and one's own story can help in understanding how we've come to have these believes in the first place. At least, that's what I've been doing =)
So great! Thank you!
It's not really Bullshit. People believe in ethology, which is the study of animal behaviors. But when people like this study human society and begin teaching us what they've learned about the emotional social dynamics of our species, people call it Bs lol
what do you do for a living man? you are in every video's comment section
LuvLuv I'm a studying ecologist that works as a staff counselor at my local community center.
+doodelay If it was bull shit there wouldn't be great con men and Physics that are great at reading people, and using cold reading.. If you can't notice yourself recognizing things by reading the person or the situation you might be a little stupid.
i figured im russian submarine.
. ... child of my time.. i stilL calL them ...ehm.. who answers? kenneth? .. its. ref address shift kinda indicating what defining measures ..:');
im a stacked coke high pyramid from a one dollar bill.... child of my time.... spoke to the one without limbs..... chemtrails satan, jesus, God, me answers. i liVe On Interglactic Desmonds.
Your "story" is not who you are. That's why it's called a STORY. It's a fiction weaved by the mind.
Every word every said, every idea ever thought about a tree -- is not a tree. Same with you.
Amen. I noticed this one when it came up as well
This is true in most senses. Her video seems to be about that part of us that interacts - the ego. Her phrases like "knowing who you are" "your story" etc. hint at this. The ego, while a fiction of the mind, is a primary tool for which it interacts with the world.
However, fundamentally, this is not who we 'are', but more of a self that is projected BY that which we are. The problem comes when people don't know the difference.
I hope that's what you're referring to?
"Knowing your story" is in fact a misnomer in all cases, though. We are organic ever changing beings whos present past and future are constantly in flux. Stories are written in ink, and one would have a self limiting illusion to think their 'story' is static.
+JamesThomas You can't ever know anything but the story your own mind weaves about yourself though. Any form of objectivity is in this case literally impossible.
+raizumichin
Being aware that the story the mind weaves is not your authenticity, is a kind of knowing, isn't it?
We may not "know"what we truly are, but we know what we are not. Does that make sense? It may be a bit strange to considerer, but it can be an important step in living in harmony with reality. IMO
great video, just a great video .
Good talk, enjoyed it a lot :)
Master Oogway said it best in Kung Fu Panda: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift... that is why it is called the present"... quality movie!
That is such an informative video. I have always wanted to watch a video on my greatest social flaw and I finally found one!
Wow, a lot of what she said; you can tell she got it based on her own experiences and intuition. Very clear and honest information here. She nailed it.
I like Eckhart Tolle's definition of presence: Being present.
How did he come up with that?
I liked, it was very honest.
Wow, well said.
Awesome presentation super duper value...A+++ bravissimo
wooow.. that was truly enlightening!!
these always feel like they end at a slightly awkward time
this is good stuff
Good god she's beautiful. And smart. And present.
+thermotronica omg she's sooo present
+Bob Blazes For real, that's attractive.
how do I know and express "my story" if I've experienced ego death and feel that all things of this universe are interconnected? I understand the importance of presence, but one can be present without the need for an ego or an ideology or belief system, if anything every situation should be approached as openly as possible to objectively see every perspective rather than a personal subjective one.
I believe you must seperate yourself from others, while also appreciating what they do for you. Like man seperated himself on the food chain chart, your ego must be separate from others. So they dont affect your convictions
Of course she is correct, it requires some deep thought and honesty with yourself. You need to be self aware! Just notice what is happening with yourself over a couple of hours.
didnt this woman do a tedtalk on powerposes which don't work at all?
I don't know if this is still relevant to Big Think's video output, but I'd like to point out that this is an example of a video with a woman explaining her ideas and no one has a problem with it, even though a little while ago people interpreted the backlash against certain videos as a sign of rampant misogyny. Truth of the matter is that actual misogyny is extremely rare, people don't have a problem with women, they have a problem with people pretending someones ideas must matter simply because they are female. Anyway, I know it's not relevant to this particular video, because it's pretty excellent, but I really think it needs to be said, because I hate to see people who aren't hateful smallminded bigots being portayed as such.
This was beautiful, thanks
I tried to understand but couldn't. Shame.
+Zoran Bošnjak Just listen to people and don't get anxious. Know your own beliefs and thoughts so you don't panic when asked a question. Being "With it" is key
I always try to draw a picture in my head when I encounter something I don't understand and a picture needs a focus(s). Or in the context of the mind: concepts. I like the concept of feeling "threatened" in social situations as Amy put it. Ironically being aware of that puts me at general ease also maybe that I understand and see the picture I drew.
so much hate... i thought it was a good talk
Is she confusing presence with the ability to clear your mind and be present? I feel like there is a distinction.
I will have to watch this a few more times to really have it sink in... Deep
I've never had social anxiety so I don't really relate to this. Even public speaking doesn't bother me. I have seen people cave under social pressure though and it's sad when it happens. A friend of mine is absolutely brilliant and can't even make it through a college class because of his social anxiety.
I just don't understand why people whiten their teeth until you can see through them.
This seems to be a Western problem. In the middle east, where I lived for a few years, people just feel free to express themselves. I love you is a normal part of their conversation. Here in London, even making eye contact is a challenge for people. The evolutionary arguments this lady suggests doesn't seem to stand up when comparing middle Eastern or Western societies. What I see is the religious vs non religious societies. Non religious societies take a toll on people's confidence because everything depends on your market value, good much money you can make. In religious societies, we're all children of God, therefore brothers and sisters, not strangers and competitors as in Western societies.
What about people with autism? from what i understand they sometimes have to learn social interactions rather than freely express them. does that mean that they aren't present?
+Lea Meisel My understanding goes like this: Autism spectrum disorders really mean that putting things into context....things like facial expressions, tone of voice, surroundings, and flow of conversation, all take concentration. A great deal of concentration for some people. Even once a person learns what a smile means, and puts it into context of a friendly person, in a friendly environment, it takes concentration to maintain that connection...like constantly re-tuning a radio station. Autism spectrum disorders can't filter as much of the noise out of the relevant social information.
It takes an incredible amount of patience to communicate with people that suffer from those disorders, because the "polite" signals you're sending them, saying that you're not understanding, or indicating that you want them to understand, are not being picked up. That doesn't mean they can't communicate, or even that they don't understand what you want from them. They are just focusing on those things many people would discount as noise, like body sensations, color, light, and motion.
I totally see that and it makes a lot of sense, but it must be quite difficult to have this emotional/social presence when they're having to put so much energy into things that are usually easy such as confidence and charm as discussed in her last point
It’s such a relief to see a natural face and lips. I’m so grossed out by bloated lips.
YOU may not be able to achieve a monk like complete presence but that doesnt mean others can't. And planning for the future doesnt count
Im 11 and i already understand this and its to easy
+Etime If you really understood this you wouldn't comment saying that you do.
+Dorifto Kingu! I have an iq of 143 and i have it in my head is that really weird couse you need to learn that i am nor happy with your negative response
+Etime Use that IQ for something useful then. Stating your age and saying that you "understand this and it's too easy" makes you seem quite insecure (ironic isn't it?). This video is only basics of presence and social interactions so keep going further to get to more interesting stuff.
Tell the truth.
The divinity within us can be present all the time. It’s just a matter of us knowing how to access it.
This video talk in physical social interactions. And what Amy Cuddy is saying is very true and realistic. I do believe that kind of lacks of real advice. It describes the situations and put them in perspective but doesn't give solutions in my opinion. I made a video however that may give some solutions and that speaks also about online interactions (because people who don't feel comfortable talking to other people physically, usually talk with someone online). And I tell in this my video a bit of how it works and what do you have to do to move on with your life.
P.S. Don't get scared by my video beginning it's just an attempt to make a joke, but most of the video is serious.
Here is the link: ua-cam.com/video/QB44WP3QaaA/v-deo.html
The number of people who have commented on her appearance (and positively) is much larger than I expected
She's cute. Nice video
goodbye
+Aeri cah hello? huh?
my lord she is smart and gorgeous
Generalities. She lacks specific examples of "cognitive bandwidth mismatch" whatever that term means.
Wow, she is really beautiful...
great
This is your story. It all begins here...
Look, the truth is these days job markets are shrinking but candidates are increasing more and more. People are smarter than ever and capable than ever, but there are less jobs, as a vast majority of the jobs are already lost due to automation. This gives employers the chance to exploit their employees even more. So it's not your fault if you didn't get a job even after a good interview, don't beat yourself for that. It's just demand & supply, the very basic principle of economy.
This CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, very effective but I hate when its repackaged and rebranded as a psych hack.
If Julia Gillard was not a ranga...
She when a bit off topic in the end... Mind as well have been two videos.
Damn! she is one hot mama
the end of her nose is very shiny.
Unfortunately the first step of knowing your own story is something a lot of people are not capable of doing since it requires deep introspection which some people can't do even if they try.
darling,.. i aint likable in many ways.
.. diva, arrogance, attitude... sure..
insecurities show honestly there... or murder ;) :P .
. trust! its been an issue... like... like since since THE UNFAIR INJUSTICE!! .
. WelL it dont matter the or no honesty as much as the getting what conditioned by. thats the next to that desency met encounter relativity in existence. ... they say as do i, adhd difference in cognition. not a disorder. but to that belitteling grown man... n thats why maybe point ing that out... they dont sjstter or schitzo when gotta stop the abuse n responsably to own feelings n not have any to colLect from idealism, school of tjought or philosophy mediating lingo settings as lsst fix cogn bias ref to authority.
is she wearing something from the future ?
I appreciate what you're saying, but I'm distracted by the fact that your hair is partially covering one eye.
So much vocal fry.
ye this is not gna work for depressed students :3
+henkiedebomb Then maybe the students should get off UA-cam and work on finding a solution.
working on it! thanks for this insight.
+henkiedebomb oooh I see, when you say "depressed students" you mean yourself and are just lumping the rest of us in with you. Yes how thoughtful of you.
+Coffee Needham I've read that depression is very common amongst students. I thought that my reason for the depression, a mild case of autism, would be the reason for other people as well to be depressed. And for that group I don't think this method will work 😊
henkiedebomb So infact when you said "depressed students" you meant "people with Autism" ah yes how could I have missed that.
nice white teeth
Where does BT find these people?
Respectfully, If you don't "land the job" in today's solidified system, you WILL fall through the cracks with much higher probabilities of entropy.
big think should change its name to big talk or big mouth. because that's only it does.
Create a better channel and upload your videos. I would like to watch them.
"Associate Professor, Harvard Business School"
Oh, so its one of Satan's minions.
Optimize Social Interactions...meh...ok if you're an algorithm. Ever get the feeling you're being increasingly fed a narrative and a vocabulary that can be massaged and manipulated primarily to grab your attention for some other purpose than your own ?
wishwash
+Cavetrolling Its ok, its a hard concept for awkward geeks to understand :^)
Might be a geek, but im not awkward and im cool with my own skin. This is still bullshit
Cavetrolling So 2000 year old Taoist principles are bullshit? Sure thing buddy :^)
basicly, yes...
The bible is 2000 years old and is also bullshit
But the bibles a religious text. Taoism's a philosophical one. So comparing the two in irrelevant.
I learnt absolutely nothing from this video