i mourn the present as if it's already a memory.

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  • Опубліковано 21 гру 2024
  • based on a journal entry about how i am slowly coming to terms with nostalgia :)
    tbh i wrote this months ago so my feelings keep fluctuating lol and i still often feel like i'm already missing the moment while i'm living in it.
    but i keep reminding myself that i should appreciate the present while it's still clear and vibrant, rather than looking back on it as if it's already a memory.
    "this too will become the past, and you will mourn it". i will mourn it. but not yet.
    music used:
    its not the same- knonzzz
    they are called memories- knonzzz
    Music by Bensound.com/free-music-for-videos
    License code: WRFVISVZNBYLB6EP

КОМЕНТАРІ • 290

  • @shikhae03
    @shikhae03 7 місяців тому +1714

    gurl the title is DEEP

    • @zaraabbas6571
      @zaraabbas6571 6 місяців тому +3

      Tooo deep

    • @_Emit_
      @_Emit_ 6 місяців тому +7

      seriously tho, i hate that i find it relatable

  • @freddiepixie
    @freddiepixie 6 місяців тому +816

    I never thought anyone else felt this way - I was alone until now.

    • @lunamita
      @lunamita 6 місяців тому +14

      There is a word for it , “dès vu: the awareness that this moment will become a memory.”

    • @henloworld514
      @henloworld514 6 місяців тому +5

      I’m sure everyone feels it, it’s just that the moment passes too quickly for most to verbalize it

    • @Draylee-xh9fj
      @Draylee-xh9fj 5 місяців тому

      Same

    • @boba2138
      @boba2138 4 місяці тому

      me too

    • @wolfgang1433
      @wolfgang1433 4 місяці тому

      Same

  • @lunamita
    @lunamita 6 місяців тому +387

    There is a word for it , “dès vu: the awareness that this moment will become a memory.”

  • @Anyone5555
    @Anyone5555 6 місяців тому +488

    the title is SO REAL. whenever im with people i start missing them worrying that im gonna lose them and thats why im detached

    • @PureRythm
      @PureRythm 3 місяці тому +1

      Hey, how are you doing now?

    • @Anyone5555
      @Anyone5555 3 місяці тому +2

      @@PureRythm hey mate im good!! thanks for checking it wasnt too deep anyway, now i just dont really care anymore so yeah !

    • @PureRythm
      @PureRythm 3 місяці тому

      @@Anyone5555 well, if you don't really care about being detached, then ig, good for you.
      If you don't really care about anything in general, idk man...hope you have a better time ahead.
      Have a great day...👍✌️

  • @pixelzebra8440
    @pixelzebra8440 7 місяців тому +476

    The title describes the exact feeling I’ve been feeling for so long
    I am in the final two weeks of my 8th grade year. In one week, I will have my final middle school dance. In one week I will have my final Friday as a middle schooler. In two weeks I will be a high schooler, a freshman. In two weeks I will say goodbye to the vast majority of people I feel as though I cannot ever imagine what it would be like if I never met them.
    I’m two weeks, this chapter of my life will be over,
    But a new one will begin.
    Filled with love, laughter, and new memories.
    I will appreciate these two weeks.
    As oogway once said, “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.”

    • @abduwalimuse7482
      @abduwalimuse7482 6 місяців тому +14

      appreciate every chapter of ur life! this is coming from a recent high school graduate :))

    • @onesourlemon8
      @onesourlemon8 6 місяців тому +5

      The hole of your closing present will be filled by your blossoming future, don't be scared of it

    • @julianamendoza9591
      @julianamendoza9591 6 місяців тому +3

      I'm so proud of you for graduating middle school. This comment made me remember the exact thing I felt when I was at that point in my life. For me leaving 8th grade was hard and I started to imagine the future I don't know whether to be scared or to be happy to enter a new journey in my life but here I am, I just finished 9th grade, but during this I was always alone because I couldn't process the present and separate it from the past so I was stuck there. I didn't make any friends in my new class because I wanted my old friends, I don't need a new one but I was surprised to see that they've all moved on and I was the only one still in the past . So while you're going through this part of your life I suggest that you enjoy and cherish every minute of it and not waste it like me because i only enjoyed it in the end and it made me realize I missed so much, that it could have been so much fun if I wasn't in the past (just wanted to share my experience and this comment made me feel that I'm not the only person in the world who felt this way)

    • @laurameijer6
      @laurameijer6 6 місяців тому +1

      What a beautiful comment❤ I feel the same way about graduating high school next week

    • @emilyy0809
      @emilyy0809 6 місяців тому +1

      im also entering freshman year in a few months! Im so happy I found someone else going through the same things as me. Its been really scary for me thinking about my future and what im supposed to do with my life and how important so many of my choices will be for such a few small years. I hope we can all succeed and make a lot of new memories than we can think back on for the future. Lets do this together!!

  • @NoCommentNo
    @NoCommentNo 7 місяців тому +279

    I regret that I spent my entire life like this. I lived my entire life thinking about how in the future I will look back at this. I either spent my time reminiscing the past or thinking about my future reminiscing my future. But I can't help it.

    • @LucieGirard-or6sj
      @LucieGirard-or6sj 5 місяців тому +22

      Your life isn't over yet, you can try to focus on the present now. There's no good or bad time to start. When you wanna change, don't announce it, just bloom

    • @laibavlogs6782
      @laibavlogs6782 4 місяці тому +6

      @@LucieGirard-or6sj this is such a sweet reply

  • @nadaeen3339
    @nadaeen3339 6 місяців тому +140

    “because the fact that i will miss it dearly when it all over ,means that it’s much more beautiful now “

  • @EarthToIndiaa
    @EarthToIndiaa 7 місяців тому +115

    I relate to the title so bad i never clicked a video so fast. I cherish my childhood so much I actively try to be present now because I know its all going to fade so fast, I never considered other people do this too

  • @lotte3444
    @lotte3444 6 місяців тому +59

    I got chills all over my body from this video. It's like you took out my mind, untangled all the tightest knots there, and put it back.

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому +8

      wow- i am very honoured u feel that way 😭😭 thank uu

  • @lotusangeI
    @lotusangeI 4 місяці тому +12

    the title is exactly what im always thinking in happy moments, everyone else is being normal and i'm just on the brink of tears thinking "i'm going to miss this someday"

  • @chunnilal2111
    @chunnilal2111 6 місяців тому +27

    I am 17 while watching this and I am so close to tears. This really captures what I hae been going through these past couple of YEARS. I loved being 14. Then suddenly my life changed, a lots of changes for a young girl and I find myself missing the previous times. The nostalgia and melancholy caught perfectly in this video. And slowly I realized how I wasn't even enjoying the present as much I could have just because of my fears and anxiety for the future and because of how much I miss the past. I have started to move on. It's quite tough for me, teen years have been rough on me but I still want to be a teenager because becoming an adult seems so scary.
    To my future self, if you are ever reading this, please know that I want you to be happy and independent. Do what your 5 yo self and 14 yo would condone, or maybe me, 17 yo version of you❤I hope you are doing well, see you in the near future. I love you

  • @tn0861
    @tn0861 5 місяців тому +12

    teared up in 6:25 minutes. Thank you for this video, I'll cherish this one so much, forever.

  • @lethologca
    @lethologca 6 місяців тому +48

    appreciating the present can help take a way the sadness of what is nostalgia; being able remember our experiences is a blessing

  • @moyi5631
    @moyi5631 7 місяців тому +73

    i feel this so much. i’ve found myself trying to pull out my camera to record every single good moment i have because i’m scared i’ll lose those memories and never find something better. i always fear that i’m never truly in the moment because i’m already scared that it’s going to end.
    you have a great perspective, and i hope i can return to living in the moment like you

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому +8

      ahh i relate so much- i still find it hard to live in the moment sometimes haha but we try 💓

    • @bac-yp7br
      @bac-yp7br 6 місяців тому +3

      that explains why i also love taking pictures with friends and family..

    • @Rubyost
      @Rubyost 5 місяців тому +2

      It’s not wrong to take out your camera every once in a while, It can be comforting to look back at your memories by looking at photos. But don’t forget to put the camera down and just live in the moment sometimes. At first it will be scary, you’ll be afraid that you won’t remember this good moment tomorrow. But eventually you will realize that you don’t need to pull out your camera and capture every good moment, because your mind does that for you. So don’t be afraid to live life without capturing the moment with ur camera, don’t fear the future. Instead live and admire the present and enjoy it.

  • @abbieafterhours
    @abbieafterhours 6 місяців тому +18

    the POETRY of the title ugh i love it

  • @ratpoisonxoxo
    @ratpoisonxoxo 7 місяців тому +99

    i think i found my comfort youtuber.

  • @anou7ka
    @anou7ka 7 місяців тому +16

    i get this a lot, especially after experiencing grief at a young age i ended up being scared of losing everything i have now because i was afraid of repeating the same mistake again of not realising my present would be something i would mourn in the future. but now i realise its not my responsibility to feel what my future self would feel and it is alright being happy in the present without melancholy despite knowing that everything is transient and would all come to an end one day, because the blessings the universe gives us are so beautiful and timely, and what we have right now is what is meant for us at the right time and the right place, and all is actually well

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому +2

      that was beautiful !! thanks for sharing your thoughts

  • @rossijp1971
    @rossijp1971 6 місяців тому +26

    Loved this video. I also live by the phrase "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift that's why they call it the present!"

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому +1

      HAHAHA NO WAYYYY JPPP !!!! 😆

  • @Floral_skies2727
    @Floral_skies2727 7 місяців тому +45

    This was recommended at a perfect time because I’ve just graduated high school. It’s been a journey and it’s weird knowing that I’m moving on to college. The title was what had drawn me to this video though and I’ve always thought about how crucial memories are. When I feel nostalgic and revisit old photos and videos on my phone, I start thinking about how I’ll never see the exact version of my younger self again as I’m older. It makes me feel thankful that we captured those moments as well 🤍

    • @laibavlogs6782
      @laibavlogs6782 4 місяці тому +1

      I feel exactly the same. I just graduated high school as well and I’ve been in the same school for 10 years, so now everything’s about to change. I tried to capture school memories through vlogs just to hold on to them 🫂

  • @jsco8253
    @jsco8253 6 місяців тому +5

    oh i still feel this way!! whenever i'm in a very good moment i just need to constantly remind myself to be present and not thinking how in the future i'm going to miss that moment so much

  • @Mia-sb1bb
    @Mia-sb1bb 5 місяців тому +5

    STOP OMG the title perfectly described my issue of not being able to live in the present. i am bawling, thank you for this i feel less alone

  • @sana2995
    @sana2995 6 місяців тому +10

    "i will mourn it. but not yet" HOLY SHIT!!!

  • @bac-yp7br
    @bac-yp7br 6 місяців тому +16

    the title is what has brought me to this video, ive been struggling with this for a very long time. this video made me cry, i cherish memories a lot so when i realize im in a good moment, i remember the fact that i wont experience it again.

  • @ylainiee
    @ylainiee 5 місяців тому +10

    You litterly explained everything I was feeling that I didn't know how to describe.

  • @rushdhafathima6004
    @rushdhafathima6004 5 місяців тому +4

    As a student in her final year of high school with all of my comfort people, my classmates of 12 years, the people who I hated once, but now I resent imagining a life without the people who brought me back to life, especially at a time when I was extremely lonely, the time when people drifted farther away from me. THIS IS WHAT I AM FEELING! Thank You! I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
    Luv,
    A 15 year old girl on the other side of the planet, in the midst of the crowded city, filled with chatter and people, yet she felt so lonely and more distant from the people speaking to her.

  • @Rishaishere5
    @Rishaishere5 5 місяців тому +8

    The title is so real... When something happens like hanging out with friends, walking alone while feelings comfortable, bonding with my family, and doing something alone feeling warmth w just myself.. It makes me feel like this things happening right now will just be memories. Memories where ill just miss and wanting to happen again..

  • @snowecaddel9454
    @snowecaddel9454 4 місяці тому +1

    1:23 this part hits hard. It really hurts a lot to think I can never get those moments back. My family is ruined. I long for the days and nights where I could just, for one night, see my family again. I can’t relive those moments anymore. It’s so hard to move on knowing there’s nothing happy waiting for me in my future.

  • @jmnac13
    @jmnac13 6 місяців тому +6

    Never loose your sense of sensitivity as you get older. I used to be this nostalgic and look things deeper than they seem but never realized how adulthood changed that. Your words reminded me of this and could only hope to have that part of me again. It’s a gift to have this outlook in life. Enjoy the present as it happens!

  • @goodToBeLost
    @goodToBeLost 7 місяців тому +14

    This is exactly what I have often felt in my own life. I tried putting it in words once because it felt so strange and it was something like 'when I am experiencing a moment of joy in the present , nearly all of me is in the future already - mourning the fact that now it's only a memory and I will never experience it again. These people that I am right now here with, they are gone already. I have lost them forever'.
    Jesus, what a strange feeling that is. I am glad to know there are others who are familiar with it too.
    Thank you ❤

  • @flyguyy4u
    @flyguyy4u 2 місяці тому +1

    I've been crying about this video for a while now damn. This resonates so deeply with me. I could never explain what i was feeling, but you just said everything i wasn't able to describe. Thank you so much, this video really had an impact on me. I will be rewatching this a lot. You are a beautiful human being xo

  • @LifeWithTayAllTheTime
    @LifeWithTayAllTheTime 3 місяці тому +1

    I just started watching this and I’m already crying 😭 this is one good film

  • @doomedjane
    @doomedjane Місяць тому

    I've never seen anything perfectly matched my feelings literally word for word. I had to pause the video halfway through and take a minute before watching the rest, and I'm still here crying. I haven't gotten to the change part of the feelings, I hope it comes soon for me and for everyone reading this

  • @dudafolklore
    @dudafolklore 7 місяців тому +15

    Thank you for this video!! ❤ I used to think I was the only one who felt that way. It's really good to know that I'm not alone and that I can learn how to enjoy my present without being consumed by the fear of what I'm gonna lose in the future.

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  7 місяців тому +3

      i'm so glad to hear that !! it's so comforting for me as well to know that others can relate :))

  • @naomishumway4764
    @naomishumway4764 6 місяців тому +2

    I have been feeling this recently and have been trying to get better at living in the moment. I am glad I am not the only one feeling this. This video made me realize that it might just be a normal part transitioning into adulthood. Also, beautifully put together video!

  • @tbsitss
    @tbsitss 6 місяців тому +2

    this was exactly what I feel right now I cried the whole video, last quote really touched me so I wrote it down, thank you so so much for this beautiful video

  • @brilliantj8847
    @brilliantj8847 4 місяці тому +1

    finally i found my type of video, we're such a nostalgic human being. miss my childhood so much

  • @Rioo967
    @Rioo967 2 місяці тому +1

    I wanted someone to talk about this. Thank you💗

  • @littleliezelle
    @littleliezelle 3 місяці тому

    I needed this more than I could ever imagine. Thank you for sharing your art of story telling.

  • @YtearieMilliona
    @YtearieMilliona 3 місяці тому

    Thank you❤ I’ve been dealing with nostalgia and this just helped me change my pov🥲🥹🥰

  • @FurreverrrLR
    @FurreverrrLR 3 місяці тому

    I feel happy i'm not the only one who thinks this, although I can accept the fact that maybe, I won't ever see these people again. It makes me wanna bring tears to the eyes because I'm so grateful.

  • @youssraansouri6450
    @youssraansouri6450 6 місяців тому +4

    i thought i was the only one in the middle of every gathering, hang outt ... who is thinking about it becoming a memory as if i didn't want to forget it at all. but this video made me relise that I was living euther in the past or on the future and forgeting to enjoy the present

  • @xojulia3583
    @xojulia3583 6 місяців тому +1

    i literally just turned 13 and you captured this beautifully this is exactly how i feel rn. every day i tell myself you will look back at this exact moment when you're 20, 30, 40, 50... and every day when i look back at previous moments i feel the same way i do now. i feel like ive been told "enjoy your youth" so much that i cant anymore, and now i obsess over how one day i will think to myself at 80 why i didn't spend this time enjoying my life instead of writing a youtube comment. but weirdly, ive kindof stopped the way you did. in april i wrote a computer note to myself to open in june. wishing me a happy birthday with tons of aspirations, and the present is slowly fading in. thank you :)

  • @dominus_ignaviae
    @dominus_ignaviae 3 місяці тому

    Just read the title and it hit. I've been trying to put into words what I was feeling since LONG and then - - THIS.
    Amazing work!

  • @tanishka4443
    @tanishka4443 4 місяці тому +3

    the title made me think "I'm about to find my kinda people in the comments section"

    • @doomedjane
      @doomedjane Місяць тому

      If no one else has me, I always know the people in the comments of these videos got me

  • @RiseWithin2
    @RiseWithin2 4 дні тому

    I love this side of UA-cam and UA-cam giving me more of this side and i m just repeating the process

  • @neelufarmir8410
    @neelufarmir8410 4 місяці тому +1

    So we all feel that way? Lovely.

  • @JJ-nj6ek
    @JJ-nj6ek 6 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for this. You’ve put what I’ve been feeling the last few years so immensely into the perfect words. Take care of yourself 💖

  • @ellaallen5538
    @ellaallen5538 5 місяців тому

    this made me cry bc currently i am going through the exact same thing. for the last couple months whenever i am doing something fun i can only think about how its going to be over soon and that i won't be having fun in this moment anymore, and it makes me sad. i almost convince myself that i am not enjoying and appreciating the moment as much as i should be rather than just living it. i wish i couldn't think this way bc it makes a really happy moment turn sad for me and it makes it hard to live fully in the moment. i focus too much on how it's going to be a memory and i won't ever experience it again and end up forgetting that it isn't actually a memory yet. that i am actually here in the moment right now. i hope one day i can change my thinking and look on life the way you do. thank you for sharing

  • @yiviol
    @yiviol 6 місяців тому +2

    i love how simple your channel is - i relate to almost every single thing you talk about there.
    thank you so much for sharing this beautiful content with us❤️‍🩹

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому

      awww thank u so much- im so happy to hear that u can relate 🎀

  • @rehaanshaikh5621
    @rehaanshaikh5621 3 місяці тому

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH i really needed that . I will definitely try and learn to live in the present, as a person with social anxiety and fear of people judging me i really need that you made me realize it will all pass so live in it
    THANK YOU
    u made me cry

  • @kimjelly.
    @kimjelly. 7 місяців тому +12

    this was beautiful

  • @eviecarswell394
    @eviecarswell394 5 місяців тому

    Thank you for putting it into words - that pre-melancholy feeling. It feels so good to have it named and to know I’m not alone. Striving to overcome my fears and cherish the present as much as I can!!!

  • @mikaellacatanaoan4952
    @mikaellacatanaoan4952 7 місяців тому +1

    aaaaa thank u for this. Just perfectly described what most of us feel but can't perfectly articulate. I love watching contents like this, keep making more

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому +1

      thank u for watching 🥰

  • @ilynako
    @ilynako 4 місяці тому

    you managed to write down and narrate my exact thoughts so beautifully. I've always been a sentimental introspective person and it's comforting to find there's more people like me out there. Lately I have been trying to get out of my head and focus on the present moment although it's very difficult.

  • @gogotamagoo
    @gogotamagoo 7 місяців тому +2

    You put my thoughts into words and you’ve done it so beautifully. I cried

  • @to_know_love
    @to_know_love 4 місяці тому

    I just stumbled on this and I am so glad I did. What you so eloquently described is a feeling that has become very familiar to me now, and it is comforting to see strangers who understand as well. Anyways, I wanted to thank you for this. You captured such a universal, lovely and sometimes lonely emotion with music, word and video. Stunning

  • @mahlvr
    @mahlvr 28 днів тому

    im a senior about to then 18, this has been *hitting* me recently. thank you.

  • @adampartridge1903
    @adampartridge1903 6 місяців тому

    This is what I've often done in the past and I try to do it now but it can be tough sometimes.
    When I live the present seeing it as though I'm my future self looking back, it makes me appreciate the present so much more and I tend to look back on those times the most fondly once they actually are over.
    It can be really tough though to see the present positively when things aren't going great

  • @selindarkhell
    @selindarkhell 4 місяці тому

    This is exactly how i feel. Thanks for introducing a new perspective on this topic and I'll continue to try staying in the present :)

  • @YingYing-mu3po
    @YingYing-mu3po 3 місяці тому

    I’m so glad I found you this is exactly how I felt too and I didn’t know how to put it in words. You did it perfectly

  • @ManthapuramVennela
    @ManthapuramVennela 5 місяців тому

    you summarised all my thoughts in just one video........thank you for actually making my heart feel more good and giving a great advice..... this made me realise much more deep things

  • @potati3113
    @potati3113 7 місяців тому +2

    this was so so beautiful im so overwhelmed rn cuz this is exactly whative been feeling and doing ALL THIS while and i feel so heard rn n i feel this video popped up on my feed right when i needed it like I JUST WANNA SAY I FEEL YOU and im so greatfuk that your perspective of "but not yet" reached me right when i needed it thnakyou this was really warming and reassuring

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  7 місяців тому

      awww that warms my heart 😭 im so happy to hear that you could resonate

  • @natalie_166
    @natalie_166 4 місяці тому

    This video makes me feel so seen. I needed this, each and every word. thank you 💓

  • @nongkitlepcha3322
    @nongkitlepcha3322 6 місяців тому +6

    U’ve literally shown what so many of us feel and go through almost everyday . Beautifully doneee❤

  • @faeriedessa_1111
    @faeriedessa_1111 4 місяці тому

    My heart felt so light after watching this, I was sobbing. Thankyou for this amazing, healing and beautiful video. I wish you best for your future 💛🫧✨

  • @faash8964
    @faash8964 4 місяці тому +1

    So so so beautiful. Hits home

  • @sleezy3331
    @sleezy3331 3 місяці тому

    you're making me think of something i have long kept in the back of my mind

  • @Daniluvsmoomoos
    @Daniluvsmoomoos 5 місяців тому

    I feel this all the time. The fact that i'm going to keep grieving different stages of my life, and i feel like i'm hardly ever present to experience it until i'm looking back on it. Then i think about the version of myself who is dying, i don't know her yet, but i will. I wonder what she'll think of my crippling mindset and how much i've wasted and taken from myself by not living presently. I feel like i take several steps backwards and several steps forwards, but i never simply stand and acknowledge what's happening now. I'll look back on me now, and i'll even grieve her.

  • @AnukiranGhosh
    @AnukiranGhosh 6 місяців тому

    It's been an year since I graduated from college & I still can't get over all the college life memories & the fact that I will possibly never get to relive it again

  • @meowmeow9975
    @meowmeow9975 7 місяців тому +8

    This is so poetic. I love it❤

  • @marilenakarapidaki5055
    @marilenakarapidaki5055 6 місяців тому +1

    Congratulations on both the cinematography and the eclectic narration of this exact feeling.I can see your work going places very soon!

  • @arianamariphotography
    @arianamariphotography 6 місяців тому

    this is beautiful. i read the title and knew i had to watch this. i resonate so much with everything you said 😭 seriously it felt like my own journal was being revealed. thank you for sharing this 🫶

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому

      thank u for ur kind words :))

  • @ikeuhypen
    @ikeuhypen 7 місяців тому +2

    oh you articulated my feelings so well. this is such a comforting video.

  • @kylaw918
    @kylaw918 9 днів тому

    this is very real, thank you for this

  • @winnieletsgo
    @winnieletsgo 6 місяців тому

    "it's glowing". what an impact. i'm proud of you for all the work you've done. ❤ an amazing piece of work ✨

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому

      thank u so much ☺️

  • @KritiMohta
    @KritiMohta 5 місяців тому

    this is an AMAZING short film. it's emotional and leaves you feeling full at the end. keep making more :)

  • @ikigai_52
    @ikigai_52 5 місяців тому +1

    I’m liking the recommendations I get from UA-cam these days

  • @heyyy1325
    @heyyy1325 6 місяців тому +1

    I relate to this so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i relate to every bit of this im turning fifteen in a few days and i just.. cant believe im growing up, yk? so much change, so much loss, things gained, but i miss the past and yet im still missing something in the present even tho i was unfulfilled in my past for some reason as well. so much nostalgia and sentimentality and grief and im still 14. things are so much better in one way, so much worse in another way, and its just all so different and it feels like my past and everything i used to have, everything im familiar with, everything that felt like my home is slipping away, and i know that its not true bc i still have what is my home to me which is my family, but ive lost my friendgroup of best friends of like 6 years who were my childhood friends and yes ive gained more new good friends but its just not the same... does anyone relate to this? i feel like i can never get over this. i know i will but, i wonder, will this sense of grief and loss and like i will never be as happy and "at home" as i used to be ever go away..? will it always be there? i wonder. and the part about mourning the present as if its already a memory cuz i know it will pass, not being able to fully experience the moment and be happy in it is a struggle for me. i just feel like everything is wrong, not in the right place, not as it "should" be. i just feel like im missing out. and im so grateful for what i have. but this is just how i feel after so so much has changed. anyways, this is just a vent. thank u for this video and i wish you and everyone to feel so so so much better and happier and lighter one day.

    • @julianamendoza9591
      @julianamendoza9591 6 місяців тому +1

      I felt every word you said. I'm 14 and I feel like you're the only person who I'm willing to talk to for hours about this, it's crazy that we shared the same experiences despite not knowing each other
      I also lost my friends because we got separated due to different courses, i have new friends but its not the same, and I have all the good thing happening to me but also the bad ones, I'm scared of the future because it is becoming near and I'm scared to not reach the expectations of the people around me or worse my own expectations for myself, the promises I made to myself I'm scared that I might break them . I told people that I still feel 12 but they always said that j need to move on
      And I have a lot of regrets, including not making enough memories with friends or family, but I'm also scared that if I do make memories like that it would consume me everyday that it would never happen again so I'm stuck between the idea of making memories and longing for memories. And I wish that you'll find happiness along your journey and you surpass any challenges you face

  • @ylainiee
    @ylainiee 5 місяців тому +2

    The title is TOO relatable.

  • @vc13
    @vc13 4 місяці тому +1

    this was so beautifully written

  • @evieknight8314
    @evieknight8314 5 місяців тому

    i feel this but one quote i like to remember is : be so thankful it ever happened instead of sad that’s it’s over ❤️

  • @SimpleDayz1
    @SimpleDayz1 4 місяці тому

    Resonated with this as you sincerely expressed how you felt

  • @user-bv5sq9dy7w
    @user-bv5sq9dy7w 6 місяців тому

    I subscribed simply cause of the title and half way through double checked to see if I actually subscribed. Your way with words is so beautiful…a gift ❤️ I love how you made us see the world from your eyes!
    Sending love

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому

      that is so sweet- thank youu

  • @BenIsFiguringitOut
    @BenIsFiguringitOut 6 місяців тому

    This was so good! This has been me as well. Life is a forward moving machine. I’ve definitely learned to cherish every moment because it’ll never happen exactly the same way again.

  • @sashaconlon4775
    @sashaconlon4775 2 місяці тому

    this is was such a beautiful video, thank you so much for sharing it :)

  • @bratzsuperiorentertainment6186
    @bratzsuperiorentertainment6186 4 місяці тому +1

    Thank you for this.

  • @ByShayZ07
    @ByShayZ07 6 місяців тому

    and all we have is the present moment, until it becomes a memory again. loved it!!

  • @oceanjasper11
    @oceanjasper11 6 місяців тому

    really sensational, i felt everything and i couldn’t be more grateful

  • @kashishkhurana8980
    @kashishkhurana8980 5 місяців тому

    cried watching this. it's beautifully made. :")

  • @luvxdiz
    @luvxdiz 6 місяців тому +2

    ngl i teared up at 2:48 😭🥺

  • @nyahbeautypage
    @nyahbeautypage 6 місяців тому

    hiii I just wanted to thank you for making this video! you talked about exactly what I am feeling and I am relieved to see I am not the only one

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому +1

      im so happy to hear that 🥰 it truly is a universal experience haha 💓

  • @darinasmind
    @darinasmind 6 місяців тому +1

    Thank you, this video made my day and healed a part of me that needed it so much. Continue to share your wisdom, love ❤❤❤

  • @MT-ht9bc
    @MT-ht9bc 7 місяців тому +5

    I am 27 and walk in to work thinking this will be just a memory one day 😢 the people you’re developing relationships with and the moments with loved ones..😢

  • @arres6241
    @arres6241 4 місяці тому +1

    Woah so beautifully made😭

  • @astroguitarist
    @astroguitarist 7 місяців тому

    I never really write comments, but i'd like to thank you ♡
    This video found me exactly when I needed it the most.
    It is amazingly beautiful!

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  7 місяців тому

      thank you so so much !!!

  • @earl7288
    @earl7288 6 місяців тому +1

    Girl, you don’t know me and I don’t know you personally but this video made me cry! It is beautifully written and edited - you perfectly reminded me to live in the present and not chase the future where I think I’ll be “happier.”

    • @apricityyk
      @apricityyk  6 місяців тому

      😭😭🥺 sorry for making u cry haha- thank u sm for ur kind words

  • @D.A.Jamal.
    @D.A.Jamal. 7 місяців тому +1

    Loved the way u articulated the essence of living in the moment

  • @nouhaisdead
    @nouhaisdead 6 місяців тому

    oml THE TITLE thats insanely relatable!

  • @Mimosa218
    @Mimosa218 4 місяці тому

    i love everything about this video

  • @nesohdd6563
    @nesohdd6563 5 місяців тому

    so beautifully said and so relatable , thanks for sharing this