If You Ever Get GHOSTED, Say This! | Relationship Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

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  • Опубліковано 24 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 649

  • @matboggs
    @matboggs  Рік тому +8

    Join the *Manifest Your Man* program and get *coached by Mat Boggs TODAY* : www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session

    • @IdaWillis-wm1ub
      @IdaWillis-wm1ub Рік тому

      I cut all my hair off.

    • @captainaryan26
      @captainaryan26 Рік тому

      ​@@IdaWillis-wm1ubwhat for ?

    • @AileenMathers
      @AileenMathers 6 місяців тому

      I just think different thoughts now , that I’m good enough , I’m beautiful it’s his loss , I used to cry get depressed but not worth it self love important

    • @JennaHasm
      @JennaHasm 16 днів тому

      Why do you keep yapping bad advice? You're like the English teacher that barely speaks the language.

  • @My1AgenT
    @My1AgenT 2 роки тому +553

    If a person ghosts you it means they don't know how to behave in an emotionally responsible way, if you take them back with no sound justification please be aware that you would send the message that you accept being treated poorly

    • @Onein6billion72
      @Onein6billion72 2 роки тому +18

      Excellently, stated! It's the truth! I've experienced the being Ghosted recipient. It's shattering!!

    • @hilo5901
      @hilo5901 Рік тому +10

      “Emotional responsibility.” I like that.

    • @brookeslocum9547
      @brookeslocum9547 Рік тому +4

      We want to know what happened with you though and how long it took for her to explain why she moved out without telling you??
      Did you contact her???

    • @Mmtm1994
      @Mmtm1994 Рік тому +6

      We teach people how to treat us. If we take them back it's in essence telling them it's ok to treat us poorly.

    • @saraharyckitalley4101
      @saraharyckitalley4101 Рік тому +8

      And they will do it again....over and over until you stop allowing them back

  • @575leena
    @575leena Рік тому +230

    1. Their actions speak to who they are not who I am.
    2. This must not be my person.
    3. Their rejection is God’s protection.
    4. The best is yet to come.

  • @wynterbreeze1202
    @wynterbreeze1202 2 роки тому +203

    This guy ghosted me in February. I never called or reached out to him via social media. 3 months later, ( May 2022), he's all over my IG liking my posts and leaving comments. I ignore him and like and respond to everyone else's comments but his. I NEVER made a post about him because he is not that important for me to be bashing and crying over. He sees how I've moved on with my life ( still single, but living) with a smile and I know it's KILLING HIM! People who ghost you are players. In the end, they play themselves cuz they missed out on a good thing and THAT'S why my "ghoster " has reappeared after 90 days. I will not respond or entertain a conversation with a gutless coward.

    • @HomeRene
      @HomeRene Рік тому +6

      I love this ☝🏻….

    • @kimberlye5260
      @kimberlye5260 7 місяців тому +1

      Ditto. They are gutless cowards.

    • @doranicholas438
      @doranicholas438 7 місяців тому

      So you are just as bad as him then

    • @wynterbreeze1202
      @wynterbreeze1202 7 місяців тому +19

      @@doranicholas438 LMAOOOOO! Nah, I'm BETTER than him! I inadvertently beat him at his own game. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

    • @realyntadipa2751
      @realyntadipa2751 4 місяці тому

      Thank you for your video

  • @geneviveross4234
    @geneviveross4234 2 роки тому +186

    Someone said, ‘if you get ghosted 👻 just move on, do not disturb the dead 💀’

  • @user-kg1zv5xb1m
    @user-kg1zv5xb1m 10 місяців тому +23

    Anyone whose actions and behavior will destroy my spirit.. is certainly not anyone I want to be with.

  • @kevinmckenney7190
    @kevinmckenney7190 Рік тому +131

    If someone ghosts you they have done you a favor by showing you their true colors. It will spare you from much worse mental anguish later on down the line. Ghosting is cold,shallow and cowardly so it's better that you don't end up with someone like that. Respect yourself. Standing alone is a sign of strength. It's a pity there are so many people that are so weak and spineless that don't possess the social skills to say a proper goodbye and give their reasons for it. My guess is that these are the kinds of people that continually fail at relationships because they reap what they sow.

  • @iamgoddessoflove
    @iamgoddessoflove 2 роки тому +391

    When someone ghosts you, it's not because you did something wrong, it's because they are either immature or don't have the courage to communicate and be honest with you. 💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

    • @carlosverde-datingtips7001
      @carlosverde-datingtips7001 2 роки тому +12

      I hear ya - Goddess of Love!
      Getting ghosted - it’s part of the game, it comes with the territory, and there’s nothing you can do about it!
      But you can reframe it - and start thinking of it as he doing you a favor. Why would you want to get involved with a person like that anyway?
      He’s basically showing you his hand early as opposed to later on - when you have wasted all your time and energy on him!
      Anyway, that’s my two cents.
      -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

    • @suecole5543
      @suecole5543 2 роки тому +27

      He is showing you who he is.. Forget him. Dont' let guys' like this waste your time ladies .

    • @avril.227
      @avril.227 2 роки тому

      Preach! Bad communicators get the boot 👢 Selfish dumbasses! I ain’t got time for that level of immaturity!

    • @gracecase998
      @gracecase998 2 роки тому +2

      @@suecole5543 truth woman.

    • @theguynextdoor4978
      @theguynextdoor4978 2 роки тому +10

      I dare to disagree. I think with normal, healthy and good people it's better to have the talk. If they are toxic, or could pose danger ghosting is fully acceptable. We need to stop treating every situation the same. YES in MOST cases, ghosting is not ok. But in other cases, it's a protective measure.

  • @RiceSnow777
    @RiceSnow777 2 роки тому +228

    “Their rejection is God’s protection” is very true. He ghosted me suddenly after chasing me. I was in terrible mess for a few months. Now we are communicating again and then absolute silence on his side again. Found out he’s avoidant attachment style and everyone on the Internet said to RUN! as dating an avoidant is tiring. So yeah, I am just gonna let this “relationship” end for my own sanity!

    • @gemstonefoundations5817
      @gemstonefoundations5817 2 роки тому

      @Richard Nwoko what and where is this number

    • @swatcat007
      @swatcat007 2 роки тому

      @@gemstonefoundations5817 these are all spammers ..dont get into it

    • @nuez23747
      @nuez23747 2 роки тому +2

      Omg don't lose 1 year of your life on this man I did that and regret it when you'll be there without a child and commitment

    • @gemstonefoundations5817
      @gemstonefoundations5817 2 роки тому

      since everyone is not For everyone, look at it like this, 1 in 10 will buy whatever sales ppl sell, n u r like that, u r selling .yourself ...1 in 10 guys will buy, (average sales numbers) whatever the reason...so look at it like u need high numbers of men to burn thru, lots of exposure.....1 guy out of that number will buy...you.. then u have to qualify him... do u want him ?
      ?..
      u can play n practice on guys that u do Like, the moves on him, practice on him,.plan pick up.initiate...they ll like that...n let u do all the work,...u can practice,..get smoother w men that way,...
      its like fishing, a good fisherman will tell u they take some off their hooks n throw back in the water, some u will throw back in the water...u dont want them...others u dont want will let u practice on them....your other moves n scenarios, til u rrelaxed with any man and dont take it to heart always.

    • @gemstonefoundations5817
      @gemstonefoundations5817 2 роки тому +3

      rejection has to happen lots, for u to find ur ďiamond guy, so get uswd to being rejected and rejecting men, dont take it so seriously,..stop lerring rejection hurt you by gerring used to it. men grow tough skin by having had many beautiful women reject them.. qwhen they ask for dates.
      Men r surprised if u ask them out...so do it..use this as practice...llet them reject u if they want...u can keep a whole relationship going urself by doing all the asking date pla ning..picnic making etc..initiating loving. they may even let u marry them. Try it. Just dont let them hurt you, grow a thivker skin..con trol your own emotions..n enjoy yourself.

  • @countryfan2859
    @countryfan2859 2 роки тому +62

    I actually agree with this Matt guy. I got ghosted by a guy, took it personally and then the next guy I dated he was the complete opposite of the guy who ghosted me and I've been with him now for 4 years. I will say looking back on the guy who ghosted me there was something wrong with him and I rather get ghosted at the beginning and move on instead of wasting my time because ghosting is a cowardly thing to do and it's pointless to figure out a guy like that. Ladies, we are smart and we can move on.

    • @doranicholas438
      @doranicholas438 4 місяці тому

      @@countryfan2859 you are not all smart

    • @wassomebody2386
      @wassomebody2386 Місяць тому

      I got ghosted by my fiancé, blindsided. Now, I realize the red flags in her and her Issues. Moved on and feeling ready to move forward. Meeting a new gal for coffee tomorrow and I can’t wait!😊

  • @LizMillerDesign
    @LizMillerDesign 2 роки тому +37

    When someone ghosts me, I think, it's their issue and they don't deserve me, my time, or my energy.

  • @pdv93
    @pdv93 Рік тому +105

    We were in the early stages of dating and one day he ghosted on me. It hurt me a lot so I started to meditate and found comfort in my spirituality. What I discovered was that people don’t want to hurt you. They’re suffering and they don’t know how to care for people and they lack communication. Never take their issues personally . You are beautiful and you will be loved.
    . I knew that he was hurting and I knew that I wanted someone who was capable of loving me. Recently he messaged me and apologized for ghosting on me. I don’t feel bitter towards him. I appreciated the apology and I’m glad I dodged someone who was toxic and insecure

    • @bellam7546
      @bellam7546 Рік тому +4

      Thank you for this comment, it gave comfort ❤

    • @vidhadixit928
      @vidhadixit928 9 місяців тому +3

      Best comment here!

    • @WiseAsianGirl
      @WiseAsianGirl 9 місяців тому +4

      You are so mature and deserve so much better! ❤

    •  4 місяці тому

      Same thing here. She gave me the warning signs. After 15 months of a great relationship bam in 24 hrs I got ghosted. She dropped all communication. Unbelievable pain she caused. As of today, week 6 nothing. I'm 90% over it and feel real empathy for her. No more anger.

    •  4 місяці тому +1

      @@santokki.007
      You've obviously been burned. I feel the same way. People that need constant validation are never ever thinking about you. F em

  • @staceylynn7749
    @staceylynn7749 Рік тому +31

    Dodged a bullet - that is for certain. when a man ghosts me, it gives me time to reflect on the relationship as a whole, and I usually see where it was doomed to fail and that guy, as immature as ghosting is, really did me a favor and saved me for something better.

  • @janberger4057
    @janberger4057 8 місяців тому +11

    People who ghost, whether it is a friend or a love interest, have a pattern of doing this to other people. They have close family members that they don't speak to. They have a pattern of having conflicts with friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. People will tell you their relationship patterns. Believe them.

  • @tonyaguth8227
    @tonyaguth8227 2 роки тому +37

    I was ghosted n then I found the love of my life! It hurt but was the best thing for me.

  • @anaalbouy
    @anaalbouy 2 роки тому +100

    I say to myself that I don’t want someone that disrespects me like that in my life. I don’t want to be with someone that is so careless of my feelings.
    Unfortunately, it is still hard to not wonder if all that was experienced with that person was real and true, since it was so easy for him to walk away…

    • @gemstonefoundations5817
      @gemstonefoundations5817 2 роки тому +13

      a rule of thumb, dont let your heart into it until its proven solid

    • @WWlogics
      @WWlogics 2 роки тому +3

      I feel this. You so wonder if it was real at all.

    • @Deb1650
      @Deb1650 7 місяців тому +5

      He obviously was wearing a big mask.

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 7 місяців тому +2

      Exactly what I'm feeling atm. Mixed emotions

    • @LydiaKettle
      @LydiaKettle Місяць тому +1

      If he's an avoidant then his feelings for you would make it harder to stay

  • @varinialuvega9503
    @varinialuvega9503 2 роки тому +173

    I'm currently in this situation for a couple of days now. I'm so heartbroken and in so much pain.. 💔. Listening to you has encouraged me. Yes! The best is yet to come.

    • @helened6896
      @helened6896 2 роки тому +1

      Absolutely. Good success!

    • @CL-le7km
      @CL-le7km 2 роки тому +9

      Varinia I have been there too, ghosted… several times actually, and it truly is a blessing in disguise! Keep your head held high beauty! Stay close to God & trust him in all things. He created your future husband specifically for YOU! It’s a clear indication of God clearing away someone not meant for and undeserving of you! You have a future filled with more beauty, abundance and the answer to your dreams then you can even imagine! Our Lord is a God of Yes and Amen! He WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN, so do not doubt Him! He only has the very best for YOU! Trust that He will weed out those who are in the way of your beautiful dreams 💕 it’s ok to shed a tear, but why cry over someone who doesn’t deserve your precious love? Smile and thank Jesus that you are one step closer to the dream boat you have been praying for XOXO

    • @CL-le7km
      @CL-le7km 2 роки тому +1

      Varinia * wouldn’t let me edit my typing

    • @varinialuvega9503
      @varinialuvega9503 2 роки тому +2

      @@CL-le7km Hello, you can edit, just click on the three dots on the left and choose edit.. 😊. Thank you so much for the encouraging words 💕.

    • @gemstonefoundations5817
      @gemstonefoundations5817 2 роки тому +3

      @virginia luvega, by this u mean a man engaged your romantic feelings drew them out kept u going romantically and dropped u ? was.sex involved? better to keep sex off the table ...until the relationship forms and becomes solid.

  • @jartotable
    @jartotable 2 роки тому +49

    When he came back around and all of a sudden I was busy he finally asked if I was ever going to meet him again. I said "after being ghosted, hell no". Felt very good

  • @swtsmile1601
    @swtsmile1601 2 роки тому +44

    Mat, you are absolutely right!... My best friend was dating a guy for months and one day he disappeared. She was devastated, and kept thinking something happened to him. He called her after a month with no real explanation, then she got a call from his new wife. The time he ghosted her he was getting married to another woman and enjoying their honeymoon. It took my friend a while to get over it, but then she met the perfect man for her. She has now been married for 6+ years. The best came for her, the best came for you. I am looking forward to my "best yet to come". Thank you 😊

  • @deliapasqualini970
    @deliapasqualini970 2 роки тому +54

    Absolutely right! Even if you may assume you did something wrong, a person should have the balls to tell you in your face, not disappear!!

    • @urmilamuthiah9348
      @urmilamuthiah9348 2 роки тому +5

      Absolutely true, men can be jerks at times and Matt is an exception guiding us all to overcome such hurdles in our lives..i can relate to your comment as I was ghosted till today he has not come back nor returned my money with mot.re than $80 k which he borrowed asking for help as the other lady said an infant in a grown-up body..toxic he is counting his days since 🛐is omnipresent. Trash indeed. wonder what his mom ate during conception 😆 ?

  • @Lora-o9u
    @Lora-o9u Рік тому +7

    I deserve much better than what ppl want to give. I am attracting takers and I'm a giver. I had no boundaries and they took advantage.

  • @BooDotBoo
    @BooDotBoo 2 роки тому +19

    If I get ghosted, I'm kind of happy because it's telling me that that person was not worth my time or energy. It took me a while to get there and I still struggle a bit because I am a self-blamer, but what has helped me is being able to look back on the conversations (texts) and everything that had been going on with us. What I find is I know I've done nothing wrong, even if it was "wrong" to them. And what I mean by that is, if they thought my laugh was weird, it has nothing to do with me, that was a them issue. If they ghosted me because I said a word they didn't like, such as "moist" or something, again, it's on them, not on me. If they ghosted me because I wore a shirt they didn't like, had a tattoo they didn't like, wore a hairstyle they didn't like... it's ALL ON THEM. I was just being my authentic self and that was something they found undesirable, but it doesn't make ME undesirable. It just means we were not a match. That frees me up to keep going rather than wasting time on someone who wasn't really interested.
    If someone I've been talking to for, at least, a few weeks just up and stops responding, it tells me that they didn't respect me enough and weren't brave enough to just say they didn't want to talk anymore. Ghosting also tells me they are horrible at communicating and, honestly, someone who can't communicate is not someone I'm interested in. I've tried dating someone who can't communicate and it was one of the most horrible relationships I've ever had. So, if someone ghosts me, they did me a favor by ghosting, even if it feels bad for a while.

  • @taral2508
    @taral2508 2 роки тому +22

    The worst is when you have been ghosted by someone who you've been with exclusively for over 4 years

    • @seemu2927
      @seemu2927 4 місяці тому

      Wow people are
      Such scum

    • @Lisa-e3w5r
      @Lisa-e3w5r 3 місяці тому +1

      I was ghosted by my supposed “best friend” of 30 years 😢

    • @wegmannheidi3557
      @wegmannheidi3557 3 місяці тому

      I was ghosted after 8 1/2 years with him.

    • @LydiaKettle
      @LydiaKettle Місяць тому

      I was ghosted by my husband/father of my children, several times over 10 years until the last time when I chucked his stuff outside for him to collect. Divorce got shot of him for good.

  • @lorarooks5515
    @lorarooks5515 2 роки тому +14

    Being ghosted is less painful if you are dating other people (until exclusive with one, of course). It keeps you from fixating on the one who left.

    • @endhascm
      @endhascm 2 роки тому +2

      You may be dating multiple people, but maybe you are the most into this person who eventually ghosts you; in that case, it still hurts (and possibly jeopardizes your other dates / relationships)

    • @lorarooks5515
      @lorarooks5515 2 роки тому +4

      @@endhascm of course it still hurts, but your attention is more easily diverted elsewhere, which is healthy when you are fixating on Simone who isn’t good for you

  • @Pawnee123-r1b
    @Pawnee123-r1b Рік тому +14

    Thank you Matt. My husband of20 yrs passed away 7 yrs ago and I never thought I would let another man into my life. But I did 5 yrs ago. This man spoke for hours several times a day. He would come to see me several times a week but only for sex. I should have known better right then, but I enjoyed feeling wanted and loved. Then suddenly after 5 years he ghosted me. My heart feels broken….
    I am so grateful for your words.

    • @sylvia7000
      @sylvia7000 8 місяців тому

      he took what he wqnt what you expect? LOL

    • @triphophoney
      @triphophoney 7 місяців тому +2

      Please disregard the other comment. Clearly, that individual lacks empathy and compassion. I'm sorry for your loss. Grieving puts us in an especially vulnerable state and leaves up open to those with ill intentions. Loneliness overrides our logic at times. Don't blame yourself. I hope you're doing better. ❤

  • @saraiannaccone1790
    @saraiannaccone1790 2 роки тому +17

    When someone ghosts me, I say they’re not for me and I move on. Yes I feel sad, I say to myself he’s not worth my time.

  • @rezotydnic
    @rezotydnic 2 роки тому +21

    I was kinda ghosted in the beginning of dating. Because it wasn't serious at all, I thought nothing of it. I ignored it.
    Good thing I did. Lol. He is 'the one'.
    Rejection is hurtful for sure but the mindset about it means everything. Oh you rejected me? Thank you for clearing the spot for the right man to step into. 😊

    • @Onein6billion72
      @Onein6billion72 2 роки тому +2

      I love that mentality: "thank you for clearing the spot for the right man to step into." We'll said.

  • @AndiAlexander1
    @AndiAlexander1 2 роки тому +70

    I’ve never actually been “ghosted,” but when a relationship hasn’t worked out, I consider that it was a rehearsal for the real thing, which is still coming.

  • @conflictica1983
    @conflictica1983 Рік тому +11

    If someone ghosted me in the past, i usually lost my mind about why, how, what?
    Now i respect their wishes to ghost me, and become their poltergeist...
    👻😈

  • @judyhenson6329
    @judyhenson6329 2 роки тому +29

    I have my own story as well. The first few days were the hardest. Finally told myself this was about him not me. And in my mind I called him a coward for not having the guts to tell me what was going on. Ironically he thinks he's such a tough guy! Ha! I then decided I deserve better. Love your 4 points. I wrote them down so I don't forget, especially the last 2 points. Totally glad to have my thoughts confirmed. I actually started saying "Thank you God, for removing a future train wreck"!

  • @samantha-janemhlanga4463
    @samantha-janemhlanga4463 2 роки тому +100

    Thank you so much Matt. I was involved with an infant in a grown man's body. Ghosted me after 10 months. Never saw it coming. I was always honest and transparent with him in our communication. You video was just the affirmation I needed on my journey to healing. "God took the trash out" period. I'm using those 4 points like my mantra 😊

    • @bsem7278
      @bsem7278 2 роки тому +2

      I feel you. I’m so sorry that happened. And yes, I’m happy that you now get to meet new people, and that the universe gets rid of what’s not right out of your life.

    • @cindyhatfield3477
      @cindyhatfield3477 2 роки тому +1

      Oh Samantha, I love your comments God took the trash out of my life you got that right not for me

    • @cindyhatfield3477
      @cindyhatfield3477 2 роки тому +2

      Yes someone else will come into my life and when he said no commitment I should have run

    • @helened6896
      @helened6896 2 роки тому +1

      Great timing for you here. Good success to you!

    • @gemstonefoundations5817
      @gemstonefoundations5817 2 роки тому

      by ghosting u cd be getting played, but if its just a matter of a person getting over their fears or patterns...a good relationship shd fix that for them, if they did ghost, once they settle into a good relationship ...qnd if they can verbalize their ghosting 2eason,..possibly cdnt the person get past it. non romantic love and acceptance shd heal most issues.
      i suddenly found myself in love with a new person in my life,...i cdnt handle it,..the in love part,. because i hadnt gotten to know the person, so didnt feel safe to continue in the relationship. i acted strange and avoidant when i wdnt usually if i had gotten to know the person and knew they had feelings for me too. The circumstances didnt allow for me to tell them either. in another situation,
      i once had a man tell me they ghosted because i accepted them. they said they then rejected me because they had such a low self esteem that they
      didnt want anyone who wd pick them, so only went with women who didnt accept them or refused them as a romantic partner. While i didnt accept them, the guy stuck to me like glue, when i decided to give them a try and liked them romantically, they ghosted. They said it came.fr low.self.esteem. They told me after a year of no hear from. Very emotionally abusive...but they said it came fr their neg feelings about themselves.

  • @candygirl1990
    @candygirl1990 Місяць тому +2

    Just been ghosted after 7 months. I am hurt, but I ignored red flags. Moving on

  • @paulameyer3645
    @paulameyer3645 2 роки тому +14

    Thank you so much for these valuable points. I started to think that I was not good enough, but I realize that the men who ghosted me are not good enough for me. And my thoughts exactly, rejection is God's protection.

  • @sailorsong9014
    @sailorsong9014 2 роки тому +79

    You published this exactly one month after the last date with my ghoster. I needed this today, so thank you, Mat. I appreciate your content!

    • @DouglasNollPeacemaker
      @DouglasNollPeacemaker 2 роки тому

      Hey Sailor, Appreciate you! since you really enjoyed this video I want to share something with you, Learn how to give your date the one thing desired most here👉🏻 ua-cam.com/video/y9Ai5KqMgdg/v-deo.html

  • @MyzzieTheWitch
    @MyzzieTheWitch 2 роки тому +50

    I start disconnecting immediately after I start feeling them do their fading out of my life act. I generally use the "next" mentality, although it does take me a few days to accept it, I generally accept it pretty quickly and move on

    • @gemstonefoundations5817
      @gemstonefoundations5817 2 роки тому +1

      why not look at it as you are holding tryouts for your boyfriend position. that one ďidnt make it ..cause.. his behaviour. he ...got cut fr the position.

    • @domif.b.7657
      @domif.b.7657 2 роки тому +3

      Fading out act is the word! Same for me, I get ready to move on although I wish I could disconnect emotionally faster sometimes. It's not always been like that but once you recognize this as a pattern, running gets easier

    • @vernita0216
      @vernita0216 16 днів тому

      You're so healthy!!!!!!

  • @olenaostroushenko8012
    @olenaostroushenko8012 Рік тому +7

    What helps me is to fill up my schedule with fun activities, and spend time with family and friends.
    My family and friends always remind me how great l am and I deserve the best!

  • @kimberlygautreau8678
    @kimberlygautreau8678 2 роки тому +10

    I was ghosted one week ago. I was disappointed and sad for 2 days, allowed myself to feel it all, then I reviewed my communication style, was proud of myself, knew he simply wanted different things, wrong timeline, and I got to try on a different energy style that actually moved me forward. He was just a prototype! I was proud that I was open, yet had taken it slow and easy...I did actually say, Matt, "NEXT!" with joy and pride. I was brave, saw the signs, and blocked him, clean slate now!

  • @melissaschulte4523
    @melissaschulte4523 2 роки тому +13

    I say imagine if you actually relied on a ghoster, could be an emergency, just a blessing to be done, and real love doesn't take that kind of effort, the effort goes into far more than begging for attention

  • @karenc7616
    @karenc7616 2 роки тому +14

    I have been ghosted and just wonder, why couldn’t he just say. I’m just not that into you, even though he acted like he was. What I did to get over it was to say to myself, he saved me from himself because he knew he wasn’t right for me.

    • @shirleystarzynski591
      @shirleystarzynski591 2 роки тому +4

      I Prefer honesty as well...he told me we had different core values...he wanted sex right away and I said no..he is now engaged to the Brazilian woman who he met 6 months after he "ghosted me" she moved in with him right away ...they got engaged months later...WOW...I hope this crashes and burns as well...I know...I am not supposed to feel that way...but I do...karma...

    • @bloomwhereyougo1730
      @bloomwhereyougo1730 2 роки тому +1

      @@shirleystarzynski591 don’t wait around for that to happen. Move in to something good for you

  • @suzannedawson6330
    @suzannedawson6330 Рік тому +13

    Wow! That’s a horrible story, Matt. Those experiences are absolutely devastating. Ghosting is one of the most cowardly vicious actions one could take. I’m so sorry to all who’ve gone through this.

    • @carmenr9251
      @carmenr9251 10 місяців тому +1

      Yes! Coward’s he/she would rather string you along instead of just saying “I’m not interested “ but No keep you hanging while in the end you find out their with another girl. It still bothers me. I constantly question myself am I that ugly for him to ghost me for someone else or what did I do wrong.

    • @carmenr9251
      @carmenr9251 10 місяців тому

      Also. I guess I can be greatful I never had sex with him, but it hurts knowing he is with someone else at our job and I have to see him parading her around.

  • @LorraineDobie
    @LorraineDobie Рік тому +6

    Thank-you for your advice I have been single for 2 years and I been ghosted about10 times or more i was with my Husband for 23 years since I was 26 i came single 2 year ago am now am 50 I will never give up on love thanks for advice the best is yet to come x

    • @SoniaForth
      @SoniaForth 6 місяців тому

      Weirdly I was with my ex husband 23 years since I was 25 single for two years and also 50 ., have been ghosted quite a few times but it makes you stronger

  • @saras.2173
    @saras.2173 10 місяців тому +3

    “Thank you for revealing who you are now so that I don’t waste years of my life with a person who can’t communicate.”

  • @deliamihaelaalban3780
    @deliamihaelaalban3780 2 роки тому +16

    I had an 8 months relationship with an avoidant. It ended with him ghosting me and even though it broke my heart and I am still not 100% over it, I knew from the start that it wasn't about me, but about his fear of attachment. I told myself it is a good thing it ended like that because I would've probably spent more months wasting my time trying to make a relationship that didn't fulfil my needs of communication and connection work. What helped me was write letters (that I never sent) with all the things I wanted to say but knew I wouldn't have the chance. That I know it had nothing to do with me, that he was being a coward, that he was afraid of taking responsibility for his actions and so on. It was an experience that helped me be more clear about what I want and don't want in a relationship.

    • @sylviagalloway9406
      @sylviagalloway9406 2 роки тому +1

      Ghosted after 12+yrs and i am on page 7. Something about writing it down helps organize thoughts and just getting your thoughts, questions, pros n cons etc out of your head. VERY therapeutic.

    • @diamondgold5277
      @diamondgold5277 Рік тому +2

      @Delia Mihaela Alban you got away with a clean slight at least it wasn't Years or a few Decades of time wasted

  • @lindajourdain2503
    @lindajourdain2503 2 роки тому +6

    In my experience and in many others like me most men are intimidated and afraid to mess with a highly sensitive empath

  • @ZiggyStardust3
    @ZiggyStardust3 Рік тому +5

    A recent ghosting: Me-“The Show Must Go On!” Thanks, Queen🌟🌟🌟

  • @s.aura.h8084
    @s.aura.h8084 2 роки тому +9

    I've been in a relationship for 6 months. 3 months in things started breaking down and every week or two I get ghosted for 24hrs or more. I've told him how it makes me feel and he keeps doing it anyway. All he has to say is he's sorry.
    It's ok to stay for a while, to try and be supportive and understand but there comes a point where if nothing changes then it's time to leave.

  • @skarlitrose4705
    @skarlitrose4705 2 роки тому +15

    Thank you for this.. I really needed this today! Was ghosted after I was open and honest with this guy I dated for 3 weeks and tried to open up communication again after not talking for a month and he is still ghosting. Just shows his true colors and that he is not the one for me

  • @appleofmyeyeA
    @appleofmyeyeA 2 роки тому +2

    I was ghosted first time in my life, but I realized after a while why am I giving so much of my energy to a coward, selfish and two faced man. I have left him to God I am sure he will get his karma. I absolutely deserve so much higher/better in my life. Just know you deserve better. Your worth is in your hands. The best is yet to come.

  • @ragflores
    @ragflores Рік тому +6

    My empowered thoughts: "My worth has nothing to do with that person." "I know I didn't sabotage this." "Love is flowing freely in my life."

  • @wt1284
    @wt1284 2 роки тому +6

    Yes I really do not understand the way youngsters communicate. But I have been married 50 years.

  • @lilianwarman4447
    @lilianwarman4447 2 роки тому +2

    I have learned that the Universe do us a favor when someone ghosting us!

  • @Purpose3714
    @Purpose3714 Рік тому +6

    THANK YOU!!! Wow! You really helped me! I was ghosted after an engagement. Heart broken. Helping me heal!

  • @itsmichellefarrell
    @itsmichellefarrell Рік тому +4

    So basically, I’m not really concerned if they get back to me or not because I’m busy with my life. It is a strange phenomenon when they don’t get back to you because you’re like whoa that’s super weird on them not on you. As it can bother if you really want to spend time with that person just realize it’s not you it’s them.

  • @adilahaz
    @adilahaz 2 роки тому +4

    I told him to F*** off when he came back. Blocked him for good. It feels great to get rid of ghoster 😁

  • @cathrinekatsigianni8823
    @cathrinekatsigianni8823 Рік тому +6

    How beautiful that you take the notion of God's protection in your talks! This is even more empowering! I found strength going to church when this happened!!

  • @missbrandylicious
    @missbrandylicious 2 роки тому +13

    Going through this now and OT sucks. We’ve known each other for years and decided to start seriously dating. We had a very small disagreement about something and he ghosted me. It hurts so much because I thought I meant more to him then that but ghosting sends a very strong and hurtful message and that’s all the closure I need.

    • @resortpoint
      @resortpoint 3 місяці тому

      Sounds just like my story. Hugs.

    • @missbrandylicious
      @missbrandylicious 3 місяці тому

      @@resortpoint hang in there! He came back and I moved on. He keeps coming back. Choose yourself! ❤️

  • @Lil_HandGrenade
    @Lil_HandGrenade 2 роки тому +36

    After asking myself why and what I lacked etc. I would tell myself, that I don't have to tolerate that kind of treatment. I did nothing to deserve it and even if i did, this person should be mature enough to talk to me about it. I'm too old for this sh1t lol

    • @Onein6billion72
      @Onein6billion72 2 роки тому +1

      Ditto! It's time to grow the F up! Crappy, childhood, abusive relationship history, or not. Be the the adult, reach out, accept genuine help, healing, and grow up. And, give Real Love, good people a chance! But defaulting to maladaptive behaviors is terrible tough to free oneself from!

  • @livelaughlove4635
    @livelaughlove4635 2 роки тому +2

    It always hurts. But once I move passed some of the hurt then I remind myself that at least he didn’t waste any more of my time. Always glad they showed me who they are sooner than later.

  • @dee0731
    @dee0731 2 роки тому +11

    Amen that is confirmation for me, their rejection is God’s protection this is the second time I heard this 🙌🏻🌞

  • @carolinaaguiarmartins3916
    @carolinaaguiarmartins3916 2 роки тому +3

    I was ghosted by someone who I dated for 6 months. I asked if we could talk, and he never got back to me. I applied the rule of no contact, and guess what? He texted me and pretended that nothing had happened. I did not reply back! But I had a hard time during the time we did not talk to each other. I thought I had something wrong and that it was my fault. I agree 100% with this video… the best is yet to come. That was not my person at all!

  • @swatcat007
    @swatcat007 2 роки тому +7

    I deserve love and affection
    I am in control of my emotions
    I am a love magnet
    Basically self affirmations
    It works actually

  • @Lubpajrose
    @Lubpajrose 2 роки тому +4

    💯. Ghosting for cowards!!!

  • @vernita0216
    @vernita0216 16 днів тому

    "The best is yet to come..." That filled my spirit, thank you!

  • @Lisatheecreator
    @Lisatheecreator 2 роки тому +31

    Thank you for this beautiful message. A few months ago I was devastated because this very thing happened. Now I’m in a beautiful relationship that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

  • @kerryhadley1727
    @kerryhadley1727 2 роки тому +4

    Hi Matt, thanks so much for the advice. I'm going through this right now. It's now Friday and I haven't heard from him since Sunday. I'm feeling much better today because I've realised he's probably done me a favour. I guess it just wasn't meant to be after all.

  • @camuyana
    @camuyana 2 роки тому +24

    I know the feeling of being ghosted because it happened to me in high school. It is one of the most devastating feelings except for being betrayed by adultery which was later in my marriage and for which I have already filed for divorce. In regard to the guy who ghosted me, later in life he saw me as an adult and wanted to pursue and I decided he was not the one then or now. It was not revenge, he had already two divorces. I don't mind being wife number 2 but was absolutely not that eager to become wife number three.

    • @dineend8335
      @dineend8335 2 роки тому +3

      He is probably a narcissist and drove his 2 wives crazy.

    • @katherineblack4772
      @katherineblack4772 2 роки тому +2

      You dodged a bullet with Mr. 2 Ex-Wives.

    • @camuyana
      @camuyana 2 роки тому

      @@katherineblack4772 Absolutely.

  • @terrimontanez8291
    @terrimontanez8291 2 роки тому +7

    Horrible to experience... I have turned my faith and trust in men off, to protect myself and my heart. Especially if it happens more then once. It is cowardly to pretend you are crazy about someone and then ghost them instead of being honest. I love what you said Matt and im going to try to implement it to see if I can regain an open heart. I dont think it will be easy.

    • @Leeohlin89
      @Leeohlin89 2 роки тому +1

      I believe that not all men are bad people. I just think that we ladies just need to be in a good place mentally and spiritually before we think about attracting a good man. Because we ultimately attract men who are aligned with our core beliefs of ourselves, like magnets. Maybe you can try shifting your way of thinking? Like learn to fall in love with your passion, whatever that may be; drawing, singing, dancing, writing ect… and wait for the universe to bring you such a man with the same heart. Maybe try that and see if it works? Because being sad and bitter only can attract likeminded men. Law of attraction 101.

    • @terrimontanez8291
      @terrimontanez8291 2 роки тому

      @@Leeohlin89 Agreed and I have shifted my mindset immensely and focus on life. I am smarter, stronger an wiser then I have ever been before. I love me and who and how I am. I just have not found it in heart to forgive or forget the hurt i endured, because I dont want to feel it again. In the meantime I have found love in other areas of my life. Mainly in myself.

  • @Habibtay
    @Habibtay 2 роки тому +4

    I've been ghosted a million times on dating sites😂😂😂😂I honestly hurt so bad because I tend to think it's going well then suddenly boom, you've been unmatched or blocked. I'm grateful they do that because I know they are emotionally unavailable and immature. And I wouldn't last with them in the long run.

    • @LydiaKettle
      @LydiaKettle Місяць тому

      I just can't believe you fell for it a million times and you are still on dating sites, wow. Maybe try meeting someone in a cafe or something, as opposed to online. With that many guys ghosting you, what are you doing?

  • @yogaartist1
    @yogaartist1 2 роки тому +1

    I wish I saw this when I was ghosted. I'm better now. I recently found out the guy who ghosted me is in a relationship. He's been seeing her last December and that's the time I was still lost not knowing what happened. He did reached out in January saying he still wanted to get to know me. I don't know why he would say that when he was clearly building a new relationship with the other girl. It's okay when people meet someone else, however, it's nice to kindly let the other person know. So they can move on.

  • @raginisharma9302
    @raginisharma9302 2 роки тому +6

    What a beautiful way to calm your mind - thank you 🙏
    For me it was sudden grief that I found so difficult to endure but with time, I got the realisation that it’s not meant to be and that universe doesn’t want this to happen. Ghosting is painful because you never get answers and your mind never stops wondering about what went wrong. But it gets better with time!

  • @Gigi-vq7xs
    @Gigi-vq7xs 2 роки тому +1

    This vlog is so inspiring. Me? I don’t take seriously if he ghosted me, because during our dating period , I already noticed the red flags on him. So be it, he is not deserving.

    • @sulaimanyusuf6560
      @sulaimanyusuf6560 2 роки тому

      :After years of break up, I finally got my ex back from a third party through the heIp of a love specialist he can aIso help you too

  • @RainRain-qh9eg
    @RainRain-qh9eg 2 роки тому +20

    I was ghosted, it sucks- but I focused on improving myself. My faith in Jesus Christ flourished all the more- met a great guy, fell in love again and got married. It’s a long process but stay focus on your goal with guidance from above.

  • @vasanthabujji8943
    @vasanthabujji8943 2 роки тому +6

    I always say to myself thank God trash get out of my life without any hard work from my side I believe angels are with me and protects me from this coward 🧚‍♀️👑

  • @nalayini1504
    @nalayini1504 Рік тому +7

    Yes I believe that is so true "Their rejection is God's protection'!!! Very true! 💕🙌

  • @MhaiVlogsCanada
    @MhaiVlogsCanada 2 роки тому +2

    I really need this words.... My heart is breaking into pieces... The man that im dating suddenly ghosted me 😭😭😭😭

  • @countryfan2859
    @countryfan2859 2 роки тому +1

    Hi Matt, I've been listening to you on UA-cam since 2017. During this time, I dated many guys and listened to your videos and I've been in the best healthy relationship with a guy for 4 yrs. Endless thank yous.

  • @ceciliakhang4423
    @ceciliakhang4423 2 роки тому +27

    I call them out with a nice goodbye love letter and move on. Someone once ask me why I do or waste time to do that and I say I do it for my peace of mind so that I can live and be happy in peace with no regrets but most importantly I hope my goodbye love letter will teach them to be be a better man for the next person (I’m honest, transparent, and kind/forgiving). Whether they read it or not it doesn’t matter because I make peace with myself and can move on happily to the next best man 👨🏻 I’m with Matt 100%. I never blame myself when they ghost me because no one can define you except you so I left that to you and God to battle 😂

  • @SARTHAK_SINGH95
    @SARTHAK_SINGH95 2 роки тому +5

    My gay partner did the same thing to me...but it was his fear of not being able to acceptance his sexuality.No hard feelings for him...just Seeking blessings from Divine for him for his healing.Love from India!

  • @ສີດາວັນສີດາວັນ

    The best is yet to come

  • @kristenviscardi9901
    @kristenviscardi9901 Рік тому +1

    I allow myself to feel crappy at first but I don’t stay there. I say he wasn’t meant to be-I’ve grown so much as a person and God is preparing me for the right man.

  • @angelagarcia-mb8us
    @angelagarcia-mb8us 2 роки тому +2

    thank you for making me realized things will be better.

  • @hemapersaud8062
    @hemapersaud8062 2 роки тому +11

    Thank you Mat for posting this. I really need to hear this at this time. My BF of one year ghosted me a week ago and I’m a mess since. Not able to get out of bed and I’m afraid I’m sending myself into depression thinking he might be with someone else right now.

    • @sulaimanyusuf6560
      @sulaimanyusuf6560 2 роки тому

      :After years of break up, I finally got my ex back from a third party through the heIp of a love specialist he can aIso help you too

  • @fatcat7msk7ru
    @fatcat7msk7ru 10 місяців тому +1

    Uhhhh it's so painfull.....
    Up to them. No care.
    Have better things to do :)

  • @cianydpena5488
    @cianydpena5488 Рік тому +4

    Worst pain I ever felt. Currently in this situation. After all the promises. The plans. Seems like it’s not the same guy I met four years ago. 😢 So much pain anxiety, I am so confused 😭

  • @MrApplewine
    @MrApplewine Рік тому +1

    I got ghosted by a woman that thought I was interested, but I didn't make a move. I was not. I just wanted to remain friends, but now I see what kind of person she is. It still hurt though, I would not have ghosted her.

  • @Honeycombe88
    @Honeycombe88 Рік тому +2

    Excellent video. I'm going through the aftermath of ghosting right now. Some excellent advice and way to look at it. Very helpful. They usually come back. He sent a late night text. I responded, telling him to stay away from me. What does he do? He sent another text a week later. Be on your guard. They love manipulation and pride themselves on reeling you in again. I think he ghosted me because he intentionally wanted to hurt me, and because he wanted to come back later so didn't want a previous conversation to interfere with that.

    • @headlandhypnotherapy962
      @headlandhypnotherapy962 2 місяці тому

      So true! I think it's often a control thing. Maybe they have felt out of control in the relationship, so ghosting is a manipulative way of getting a sense of control back. In the worst possible way of course! I have been ghosted several times before and even with the partners which led to a long term relationship, this avoidant pattern will continually come up and eventually destroy the relationship as it destroys the trust.

  • @ashmartians123
    @ashmartians123 Рік тому +1

    I wrote a message an hour ago to my ghoster. he brought me a ring and decided he didn’t want to deal with the financial loss. So it’s been 30 days no response. Today I decided I had enough. That isn’t love. I accept any decision he makes but I’m also mature enough to be friends or communicate. Everything he told me was a lie. And I messaged him and told him I do not deserve to be disrespected this way. I forgive him, I still love him but this is not love. it speaks volumes about him not me.

    • @ashmartians123
      @ashmartians123 Рік тому

      And the best thing you can do is identify all that you said and send your final text that you know you are worthy of better

  • @nirmaladatt4456
    @nirmaladatt4456 Рік тому

    When you said my heart goes out to you, it healed me instantly.

  • @zeljkamarson950
    @zeljkamarson950 Рік тому +2

    I was ghosted for months and then he called crying because he was ghosted by the woman he was with when he left me..

    • @carmenr9251
      @carmenr9251 10 місяців тому

      That’s not your problem lol

  • @sylviagalloway9406
    @sylviagalloway9406 2 роки тому +1

    Ive been ghosted after 12+yrs. Im so lost but your words, beginning to end, felt like you were talking to me. Thank you for the encouragement and insight. Tomorrow is another day

    • @resortpoint
      @resortpoint 3 місяці тому

      😢🙏❤️ I hope you can heal sooner than later and find peace. I know it’s hard. Hugs.

  • @sweetvonbettie1
    @sweetvonbettie1 Рік тому

    Takes me awhile to get over it, a few days of sadness n yes a day or two of crying, then i just move on. I hangout with my friends n take all the positive affirmations..

  • @rachaelwilliams786
    @rachaelwilliams786 2 роки тому +8

    I really enjoy your videos. I’m not even remotely convinced that what I’m looking for exists in an unmarried state, but it’s still excellent advice. I’m so appreciative of what you do.

    • @DouglasNollPeacemaker
      @DouglasNollPeacemaker 2 роки тому

      Hey Rachael, Appreciate you! since you really enjoyed this video I want to share something with you, Learn how to give your date the one thing desired most here👉🏻 ua-cam.com/video/y9Ai5KqMgdg/v-deo.html

  • @melissaj.corbin7675
    @melissaj.corbin7675 Рік тому +1

    After several weeks of spectacular phone and video chats and SOOO much in common…and 1 lovely date, there’s been a host of excuses with him breaking a date then recently been “ghosted”. I sent a message (my Sis’ said it was too wordy) saying, “You are not ready for a relationship with me.” A week later he texts as if nothing is wrong. ??Im outta there! Thanks Matt so much for reaffirming that there is nothing wrong with me and that God has someone even better out there for me. It’s definitely his loss.

  • @Lucky4991
    @Lucky4991 2 роки тому +4

    I think the bigger question is why do people ghost people! What happened to communicating I think it’s one of the worst and most hurtful thing you could do to somebody when you ignore them after talking for a long time.

    • @wendycorbett4787
      @wendycorbett4787 2 роки тому

      Absolutely Sam, remember you are the stronger person and things will get better 💪

  • @mariavids1059
    @mariavids1059 Рік тому

    Thanks for your advice Sir. I meet a man when he travelled from US to my country for two weeks just to see me but after he went back to his country he ghosted me last month. Now Im still healing from betrayal and disappointment.

  • @denizcelestin7700
    @denizcelestin7700 2 роки тому +3

    I say that his ghosting has NOTHING to do with me. I'm grateful that he showed me early who he is, and....NEXT!! It's only happened to me once and I was in a full-blown relationship, in the throes of falling in love. We had never had conflict, even once (which i realized later was because he wasn't truly authentic).
    He got fired from his job & apparently started using again...he was a recovered addict & was clean for three years. Bless & release & I'm so happy it happened before I got in too deep. 🙏💖

  • @ghadacamilia7899
    @ghadacamilia7899 Рік тому

    You think the best is yet to come I think I am done i am so tired, they got crazy about then disappeared and came back knocked in the door🥺😔😞

  • @bozena3155
    @bozena3155 Рік тому +2

    I say to myself : NO TIME!

  • @Nailartco
    @Nailartco 2 роки тому +3

    I am so so hurt but this made it 1000 times better. Thank you Mat! You’re an angel.

  • @adriennefegan2962
    @adriennefegan2962 10 місяців тому

    Thank you. I just got ghosted day before Valentines. It was my first dating experince since my divorce. I am taking it pretty hard. I am so glad i found this.