Anxiety, avoidance, hyperfocus - bipolar, PTSD, social anxiety

My name is Xanthe Wyse. It's been a while since I made a video so decided to check in. My anxiety has been up (hence the extra fidgeting). I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder.
Been feeling stressed with work so been in avoidance mode and when in that mode, I can hyperfocus on something, whether writing my book or winding people up on social media (I do it simply by having a different point of view).
My mood has been somewhat elevated with goal driven activities but also with mixed features, so I have had some symptoms of depression as well as hypomania. But not the euphoric kind, more dysphoric.
Been feeling quite stressed lately, mainly with work. Was triggerered into fight or flight yesterday. I'm amazed when I look back at the video how much stress I hide.
/ bipolarcourage
/ couragebipolar

[@rohitmehta3812]

Hi Xanthe, love from India

[@daviewaviee6079]

Bipolar 1 here 🙋🏽‍♂️. You can hyperfocus on *negative* stuff too, which is hard. Just messed up a pair of shorts (cost about $12 US dollars) with a *tiny* stain & spent the past hour OBSESSED with it. I can replace the shorts easily, and the spot wasn't even big enough to notice, but I put my sewing skills to work, actually cutting and closing the spot perfectly. Still couldn't shake the feeling that it's so obvious (it's actually almost invisible now) that I can't wear them again. I got wrapped in a gnawing dread that *this* pair was somehow "special" & my day was going to be ruined because of it. Found this video at the PERFECT time! I find when we get anxious especially, it's like we wait for something in the day to go wrong, and when it does, we latch on to it for dear life. We also obsess about specific items and put a lot of irrational sentimental value into them. I empathize with anyone experiencing this "hyperfocused anxiety" today, I know it's difficult! 🙏🏽💞