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Not breaking up with my boyfriend.
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- Опубліковано 23 лип 2020
- Some advice on how to COVID-proof your relationship whilst living through a pandemic. I want to hear your tips too, leave them in the comments!
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"Not breaking up with my boyfriend". Thank you for ever so kindly committing to this one publicly 🙏😂
"basically boris johnson has left us in here and gone to tesco"
Literally though 😂
I disagree on M&S though. It's gotta be waitrose
I appreciated your M&S joke @ Craig
"A WOMB IS FOR LIFE NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS" AHAHH THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT QUOTES IN THIS VIDEO
“I have a degree in Craig” that’s a line I wanna use but I can’t get past the one month mark uh ha ha ha hAA
I love craig's honest discussions about his OCD - it's such a relief to hear people discuss it openly, especially to people like myself who have OCD!
I’ve just broken up with my first boyfriend, and seeing the way your relationship works (even when locked in a tiny flat) makes that decision feel better! Thanks for that I guess :)
Aw I’m sorry you’re going through that - here’s to better ones though 🙌🏻sending love x
Same!!!! Although I had no doubt it was for the best, this video just reminded me of how unhealthy it was. I love how you care for and respect each other.
Craig was rather talkative on this one (not a bad thing at all) and it was a bit bizarre watching you just...watch him talk as you seem quite unstoppable on your other videos. On a whole, this was lovely! Very glad to see you making it through this, 4 months is a LONG time. Currently not on lockdown in my country but I fear for the worst!
The fact that I looked at the thumbnail and then looked at it again and then looked at it some more and still couldn't figure out why would you put Pewdiepie of all people on the not breaking up with my boyfriend video (even though I've seen Craig in your videos multiple times) only proves that a) we live in a postmodernist society where nothing is real anymore b) my brain decided to break up with me bcs quarantine.
Craig, I am sorry.
Hahah SO many people say he looks like him 😂you’re not alone x
"Leopard print is a neutral" is that Caitlin Moran? Also, made me chuckle
I think so? 😂 it’s also just a HOME TRUTH though 😂
I lost my partner of many years to cancer. You guys are such darling couple.
Enjoy every moment of the other, yeah :) XXXX
This was FANTASTIC!
Xxx
I literally love the way Leena looks at Craig like how wholesome can you GET
My sister announced to her husband, two weeks into quarantine, that she wanted to get a divorce. They’ve been living together, separated for the last four months with two children, the timing couldn’t have been worse... 😌
That's awful, but I guess the alternative is her pretending for four months :( Really just a sad time to come to that realization (as if there's ever a good time)
Wow! How are they keeping up? I can't imagine living with my ex husband and our children without any escape
I need an update so bad. Did the lockdown rekindle their love? Are they now now staying together? Or did they go ahead with the divorce? I am intrigued.
I honestly couldn’t relate more. Moved into a tiny tiny 1 room flat with my partner in Feb as a “base” to just sleep/eat at short term. Literally there was a bed in the corner in the same room as the tiny “kitchen” and one tiny breakfast bar type thing which we both ended up working from. Pretty much a bit of wood that had enough room for 2 laptops and that’s it. The shower “room” (cubicle 🙃) didn’t have a door - only a curtain 🤷🏻♀️ it’s been a RIDE. 😂 all your points about communication: we had almost EXACTLY the same issues 😂 THANK YOU FOR THE VALIDATION (and tips) ♥️
Aw solidarity! If only we could time travel and tell our future selves whilst flat viewing 😂
leena norms haha yes!!! 😂 Just off to send this video to everyone I know 😂
you're both so intelligent, funny and communicative :'-) also i love how beautiful you two look when you're together, you're beautiful alone but there's something about how you make each other laugh that just enhances it? i'm a sucker for love and connection 😳 i'm living with my family and have my own bedroom and quite a lot of space and i still throughly enjoyed this video and learned a lot from it. i've never been with someone that clicks with me and i relate a lot to leena so it feels nice to watch this dynamic and learn about the tools that make it work. i happened to rewatch the skin deep inspired video you filmed together earlier this week so this felt like a nice and timely update. also, loved the poem about putting the gun down and eating a sandwich! i'm gonna look into other stuff by the author. hey leena if u ever share your outfits on instagram i'll leave nice compliments, you have a great style!
Regretting the place you chose to rent pre-lockdown is a mood! Amazing how everyone's priorities have changed! Also watching this on the day I should have been getting married (thanks Rona) so thanks for the pick me up/distraction!
I'm sorry about your wedding and wish you a super lovely day!!
@@phormidable Thanks!
Why am I watching a video about how to lockdown-proof your relationship, when I’m so single I’m literally drinking sangria alone (except for leena and craig)
We are with you, this does not count as drinking alone!!!!
leena norms 🥂
In Germany we are somewhat back "normal" (biiig airquotes) but when we were in the depths of it, me and my partner would take a walk alone, go food shopping alone and just were super honest with what we both needed. Luckily we have some doors because otherwise there would have been a lot more silent fighting. We are really bad at fighting, something we learned during lockdown and are kinda getting better at.
"YEEEES TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE BADGERS"
Wow, didn't know the moment I'd feel the most ~seen as a trans masc person would be here, but then Leena called herself a womb daddy and I feel that
😂😂😂
i totally understand craig's perspective about needing things to be tidy to feel secure and at peace. i'm trying to let some of that stress go during lockdown because i'm never leaving this space... it is what it is.
Love the phrase "height-diverse relationship". I am also The Short One
I remember telling my boyfriend that getting a two bed was silly and unnecessary and now I am SO glad we have an office room. Also saying "I need some alone time" is so important. We don't have a signal but it's a good idea.
You guys mentioned the fact that there's no personal news or gossip right now and for me that has meant that everybody I know has had to hear me go on and on about my plants. I was already weirdly attached to my houseplants, but I planted some peas and a zucchini on my balcony and those have become like my babies! I went to visit a friend and within 24 hours I was already missing my peas and wondering if they were okay... At least this weird summer has had pretty good weather for my plants and they're doing well!
I really loved that poem! One of my favorite Bible stories is the one where a prophet was trying and failing to do whatever and he retreats to a cave and is like "God! I want to unalive myself! Everything is awful!" and God's basic reply is "Take a nap and eat a snack"
Appreciate the womb message 😂
Oh Lena, I relate so much to being terrified of any Argument meaning the End of the relationship and it has exactly the same effect on me. The worst thing is I often get more mad and pent up. It sucks! Here’s to gaining the confidence to know that we are awesome enough people to want to be with us even when we are not being a delight.
I'm the same with struggling to communicate boundaries, I feel bad for even putting in headphones to do work when my partner is in the room. Feels rude even though we're in the same room all day!!
That lil jamws acaster clip made me inordinately happy... Its really the little things these days
My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago, and I think lockdown has definitely not helped any couples who have been going through a rough patch. I’m sad about it but seeing your video it makes me feel like things weren’t right anyway, and you and Craig have a lovely and healthy relationship. It’s nice to know it exists x
My family and I have found news boundaries helpful too! We've written up a list of fun questions (like "what was your favorite childhood television show" or "what is the best vacation you've been on") to ask each other when we can't think of non-news things to talk about, which has produced some really fun conversations!
That’s lovely!
@@leenanorms I gotta credit Emily Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani's Staying In podcast as the place where I first heard of this! (It's also just a great coping with covid podcast, would recommend!)
HOW DO YOU BECOME THIS EMOTIONALLY MATURE SOMEONE ENLIGHTEN ME PLEASE
Time and experience, and just reflecting on yourself and your actions.
This comes after a lot of mistakes though. 😅 Didn't hit me until I was 30~
Therapy and self reflection !
Oh my gosh I needed this!! xD Very similar situation here, my partner and I live in a 1-bedroom (really, more like a 1/2 bedroom) apartment in the middle of a major city, which we chose largely because of its easy access to city things. We've been together for 5 years so we know each other quite well at this point and obviously like each other a lot, but being together 24/7 is still a big adjustment. Using the headphones-system has helped (when one of us has headphones on, that means we don't want to be bothered). I've also found that actually ordering less takeout is helpful, because we get a kind of natural break from each other when one of us is making dinner or washing dishes.
"WOMB DADDY" I'm crying 😂 So many good lines in this one, Leena.
Thinking of all the people out there living with random strangers from Gumtree 💪😂
Thoughts and prayers 🙏
Something that's happened to me during lockdown is that my sleep schedule is so different from usual - I've been naturally waking up (feeling rested) far earlier than usual. A crucial step has been not expecting my partner to also conform to these changes (everyone needs their sleep their way) - we just don't go to bed or get up at the same time at the moment.
wow I've been the COMPLETE opposite. wonder why that happens, lol
I’m the opposite but it also has to do with different environments - at uni me and my boyfriend wake up at different times and I’ll work in bed or at his desk until he wakes up. I don’t expect everyone to wake up at the same time as me or work at my schedule. But at home my family like structure and I’m expected to wake up at the same time as the rest of my family and have the same schedule as them. (So instead of a 1-10am person I’m now a 11pm-8am person....)
Teach me your ways! I'm going to bed later and waking up later, and I'm trying to reverse it and massively failing.
@@laura__5544 I would recommend living in Scotland at this time of year because the very light mornings are definitely part of it! Otherwise I have no tips because it's a New and Strange experience for me!
@@tryingtobeeloquent I've read that sleep response is kind of a third stress response - we can't fight this situation, no option for flight, so we're basically doing a strange version of play dead? No idea if based in any evidence though...
Top tips! Separate spaces, even if they are nominal / organised by having shifts in different parts of the house (who gets an indulgently long shower in the morning, and who gets it in the evening?). Also! Privately snooping on how other people in different circumstances are doing /what they hate about it and finding your silver lining of where you are and who you are with (aka counting your lucky stars that you are not in their situation).
I am a millennial and I don't live in London and honestly I am so grateful we moved out of London before lockdown because my partner can go to their office and I can go to the garden or a different room. Also it's a 10 minute walk to the countryside which I think has saved my brain. When we shared a two bedroom flat with one of our friends in London FOR THE SAME PRICE without outdoor space and one kitchen/dining/living room I would have gone actually homocidal.
Also I feel the same with Craig about exercise. I work on my feet but the libraries are closed now and so working out has really been a game changer. I feel down the stairs and really noticed how much more anxious I was because I couldn't exercise.
The idea of "news boundaries" is SO great! I've been living with my parents, and while I am very careful about what media I consume and why, my parents just watch the news and then info-dump me at meals time and it feels humiliating and belittling each time, like if they're trying to shame me into thinking people are terrible.
'This was the final exam' and 'Boris Johnson went to Tesco' killed me 😂 there are so many great quotes in this video.
omg womb daddy 😂🤣
Great video! These are great tests for our relationships and make us stronger at the end of the day.
Things I miss most: the cinema (specifically Cinerama here in Seattle), and visiting my HIIT workout classes. I went from hating cardio to going 4x a week?! The high is real, as is the feeling of accomplishment and perseverance that spills over into the rest of your life. After trying and failing to workout with apps, I caved and got myself a rowing machine!
Omg rowing machines are the ONLY bit of gym equipment I enjoy, high FIVE
leena norms I selected the one that has a little holder for a tablet so I can watch Vikings as I row and trick myself into doing more than three minutes of cardio at a time 😝
Leena I cried at ‘a womb is for life not just for Christmas’ what a video 😂😂💕
A life saver for me (extrovert living with an introvert partner) was to go for walks and have a long phone chat with other friends - so I wasn’t relying on the bf for all my social interaction that day
This was so relatable - My boyfriend and I have been staying at his mum's house because we've been unemployed post-graduation. Now we've had to spend lockdown here - not the most ideal circumstances! But this video made me laugh as we've also had to try and navigate things like personal space and boundaries since we are living in one room together. It can be difficult but definitely character building. I'm also like you Leena - find it hard to create boundaries because I'm a people pleaser and also don't handle arguments well! Thanks for this :)
"any final thoughts craig?
...
....
....
no!"
the employee of the week bit had me in tears, I love the humour you two share
The reenactment of the laundry as a barrier- hilaaarious! Thank you :)
I was in lockdown for months in a teeny apartment with just my plants for company, and I'm sure I'll be going back into it again, but I'm still here watching because all of your videos are a gift Leena and there's always something to learn either for now or in the future~
Aw I’m sure you and your plants can benefit from the tips- reading time together maybe?
@@leenanorms Maybe I should read out loud to them, like people who swear singing to plants makes them grow better! 😅I should learn to set boundaries though, tell them when I need a time out if they're bothering me~
@@GhostsOfThings 😂😂😂
You guys seem so well matched, wonderful couple with great communication skills! 😍 xx
Such a brilliant video, more Craig on the channel! 😂❤️
On it!
I LOVE THIS! Thirty years ago, when I was 19, I met a couple like you: mutually joyful and fun, amidst other positive qualities. THANK YOU for this brilliant video. You are both effervescent, and you really demonstrate mature relationship skills
This is really helping as I go through a wave of breakup regret. My ex and I moved in together in November 2020 and broke up the following May. There was a deadly cocktail of codependence and mental health issues and I genuinely felt like I was drowning/dying. It was horribly sad breaking up while still being in love but watching this and how healthy your boundaries are is really helping reiterate that we ultimately made the right choice parting ways. Thank you for this 🧡
Xxx
That sponsorship was GOLD!! was like "what am i seeing here?"
Thank you for the womb ad. Important information, delightfully presented. A lockdown delight.
I feel like I understand my cooped up partnered friends more now! I am on my own, so while some things are still the same, a lot of it is different. Thank you for the candid chat!
5k 3x a week is amazing!!! Well done!
So real about needing time to be apart. I've been with my parents and bro and we just stay in different places like my bro is in the room we share while my I'm working in the living room and my parents move from their room to the living room. So not easy but at least doesn't feel as stifling. Thanks for sharing what you've been going through!
I can't tell if the blink 182 pillow is actually there or if the fact that I've been listening to them everyday this quarantine has started affecting my brain
Omg this has been soooo relatable! Just moved into a flat with my partner, its only been 3 weeks but proud to say we have already worked a few of these things out for ourselves 😅 it was a weird change since the months prior we had been trying to do more together online because of social distancing in different houses. The reading is a god sent! And the call thing is massive cause so many of our friends have just fallen into it! He had a call with uni friends, it was great to be able to say hi to them and gladly get up and go play zelda for hours leaving them to it. We are blessed with 1 extra room than you guys so have been more fortunate, so very glad we found this in a flat we signed for before lockdown ❤❤
I am also very emotional about eating the last of anything in the house. I hate looking forward to having something and then being let down! haha
Hahha glad I’m not alone!
I’m single but this was really helpful LOL. Will come back to it if I’m partnered up when next lockdown comes around
i love this! i can learn so much from you - i‘m 22 and the thought of being stuck with someone in the same flat for longer than a weekend terrifies me 💀
ok Craig is great, your relationship seems lovely. this was a great video :)
Loved hearing you and Craig chat! It's great that you guys talk about your relationship so openly and in a healthy, authentic way!
Xxx
You know, it's our first year as a married couple, 5 total together, and having the pandemic as the background of our Becoming A Legal Family sucks but also.. builds... character??? I mean, I knew we were probably gonna stick together when we drove a neverending eleven hours to the beach because of high season traffic and did it with humor and grace, but this is entirely something else. Though it does foretell me this: it was 8 in the evening when we arrived at the beach and we instantly we took a swim in the ocean, so naturally when the pandemic "ends" we will probably throw an all out party. I think we are alright
Love watching these wholesome videos of you two - thank you for demonstrating such a healthy and real relationship ❤️
"bUT MAY APPLY AGAIN" *WAVES*
I think the putting your headphones on when your partner is in a call is a great habit! Not only as a respect to each other’s privacy but also because I always feel awkward/rude/just weird to be unintentionally eavesdropping on a conversation. I actually feel quite lucky in that way - my boyfriend is Dutch (I’m English) so he’ll chat to and text most of his friends in another language and I can just make peace with not knowing rather than being overwhelmed with a curiosity to know what he’s talking about, or whether he’s saying anything about me haha, that kind of thing
Been binge watching your videos in the background whilst I work from home and holy crap the side effect is being able to communicate my feeling better with words?!?
This is my favourite video of the past few months and I'm only halfway through. I moved in with my boyfriend in the pandemic and honestly see so many similarities with your experiences, so this is just so wholesome and reassuring and funny and relatable and thank you 🥰🥰
Can we get a whole channel dedicated to videos with the both of you? I’d actually pay patreon for that!
genuinely, i want to be like you when im older
The idea of having a space that’s just yours, that no one changes, is what I’m finding hardest. I’m a video editor/ producer so I have a desk with lots of hard drives, mics, memory cards, card readers etc and sometimes I’ll return to my desk and my boyfriend will have used it (we only have space for one) and things will have moved and I cannot contain the rage. It’s like a game of hide and seek every morning and makes me feel so unsettled... but then I can’t really claim the desk as only my own. Sometimes I feel like certain aspects of lockdown will only start to run smoothly about two days before it’s over 🤷🏼♀️
Maybe buy a bin or a drawer to put all your stuff in?? A pretty one??
A room of Craig's own 🥺
I met my boyfriend legit one month before quarantine haha I feel once were back to work, we’ll have to adjust to normal life instead of the other way around 😂
Omg, Craig's voice is spot on Julian Sands from Room with a view!
This video is one of my favourites of yours! It's lovely seeing you and Craig in a video together :) My boyfriend and I have spent 4 months together in a converted shipping container, so the only separate room we have is a tiny bathroom. It's definitely been a challenge but we've adapted as we've gone along and dealt with issues that came up. It hasn't been 100% rainbows and sunshine, but we've done similar things to the stuff you mentioned here to make it work :)
My boyfriend and I had previously lived in a van and a tiny house together, and now we are in a one bedroom apt. together during lockdown so CAN CONFIRM these are gr8 tips.
Completely agree with you about limiting news consumption. My Dad is addicted to the news and it gets on my nerves. He has been this way forever, but it has got more intense since lockdown. He is always refreshing or talking about it. I like to watch the news once a day , but anymore during this time makes me very anxious. We now have an agreement. I'll watch the news for around 30 minutes with him in the evening. If he wants to watch or read more I go to my room. I've also told him if he wants to send me articles don't do it before I go to sleep, as i'll be restless. Since I spoke to him about this, he has been more conscious of when to discuss the news with me. Boundaries are so important!
Ah, such a treat, thank you! My girlfriend and I are actually doing so well even though we're spending 25/7 in our flat. It's surrounded by nature though and has a balcony and two rooms, thank God for that! However, we're moving into a smaller flat with no balcony, in the middle of the city... Oops.
We do struggle with the lack of new things to talk about, so like 70% of our conversations are just about how much we love each other. Sweet with a side of boring!
Anyway, it's exam season, so most of the time we're studying in separate rooms. At this point I'm just glad when these exams are over and I can actually read a book for fun or watch a film without feeling guilty about it.
Enjoyed watching this! Definitely agree about missing different parts of work. Felt that work lockdown work compromised of lots of online meetings where there was a general "how's everyone?" at the start. But I realised I missed the small chats with people in the corridor or the even just having a laugh with colleagues which just isn't the same in a meeting.
i spent the first 4 months of lockdown living with one (1) close friend and five (5) strangers. reallllly tested my assertions that I'm an extrovert ngl
I just love these sit-down chatty videos with your bf :) so relaxing and entertaining!
Things I have learnt cohabiting in lockdown in a flat with no outside space - we are both messy in the exact way that irritates the other one, we do actually like each other (hurrah), the phrase "I am off to have some alone time" is helpful, and as soon as we can afford it WE ARE GETTING A GARDEN
Yup one thing it’s shown me is how important gardens are, much higher up my priority list next time!
1:56 - That unintended background siren on "we are always learning"... Love it!
So glad you used the opportunity for the Friends reference 😂😂 brilliant video as always, you guys are totally relationship goals 🙏
I love listening to you and craig talk its so therapeutic for some reason would love more long vids/podcasts of you guys literally just chatting 😂
So glad I replaced my implant in February. Especially as the idea of dealing with heavy monthly periods while in lockdown sounds like a nightmare
This is the content I’m here for. Love. It. The quote, Ohh the quotes.
When you talked about dressing up I realized that I started changing outfits multiple times a day. Probably partly bc of procrastination and partly bc I suddenly don't feel good in it anymore. And I basically always end up in my Lucy and Yak dungarees. Every single fucking day. 😅😂
Describing quarantine as the final exam of a relationship is so bloody accurate 😂 throw into that postponing our wedding and me being pregnant so all the hormones, it has been a RIDE! We are married now and baby is due in two months and I love my husband so much but I'm so fucking ready for him to start his new job on Monday so I can have some goddamn SPACE
that ad sponsorship section was AMAZING
Sometimes I put my blanket over my head and disappear a little, my partner doesn't question me about it. I don't really know what I need when I do this, but the urge to cover myself with a heavy blanket and be left alone is like an urgeeee
Here to defend Leena’s outfit!
my dining table isn't really usable because it's occupied by plants
OMG I feel you guys. We’ve been married 37 years and I have always needed my own space. We have also been in a one bed/one bath home for about two years and into quarantine and a private space has simply not existed. I was working cross-legged on our bed, trying to use my laptop all day 😱 My husband called it living in a box, too. And I was escaping to buy food too!
Finally we decided ‘this is nuts’ we need more space!! And despite very few rentals in our area, I successfully negotiated a larger home during pandemic!! We finally moved into a much larger space about three weeks ago and it’s HEAVEN. I can turn around with my arms outstretched and not sock my husband or a bookshelf. My husband is so relieved now and finally I have a door and a real work space. Best money I ever spent!!
My only advice to others: invest in good earbuds, make bath time YOUR time, and consider looking for a larger place, or creating some kind of extra outdoor space, even though it seems hard financially and physically. Quarantine is hard enough without living in a tiny box - it’s worth considering a change. .
I love everything about this, even a year later, even not being with anyone for lockdown--communication, boundaries, humor, schnitzel, support, what's not to love? 😍😇💖
Why are more people not recognising ‘A Room or Craig’s Own’ as the greatest UA-cam quote of our age 😂
What a wonderful vlog! Even though it doesn't apply to me personally, I really enjoyed watching it. And now excuse me, I'm off to read a book 😉
Excellent work!