The Rogue in my group asked the DM if he could roll for stealth and sneak into the room with Sylgar and poison him. The DM respond was flat out "please dont."
"Doesn't matter, this door is staying closed." best response ever, as (often) my parties trap finder/remover and hidden room finder, I can 100% agree with this scenario.
You open a door and see a creature with tentacles at level 1. My answer is no immediately, I’m willing to bet it is either a mind flayer or a beholder and I want none.
See my players don't think like that because the first and so far only mind flayer they encountered at level 2 rolled SO TERRIBLY and they rolled SO WELL that they pounded it into the ground after one turn.
You could have let them kill the swashbuckling mind flayer, then reveal that it was all an illusion and the real mind flayer was just messing with them.
OH how I was messed with by my DM when half the party nearly drowns in fake water while we where fighting a "water elemental," we were lvl 3, and the only reason we didn't die was because my thunder smite actually hit a lake a shocked us all "awake" the elemental was an illusion by a powerful witch, miles and miles away...
I guess they’ve seen enough videos to be in the know? I’ve never played a game of DND that wasn’t upended by the GM by changing the world after we made our characters and changing stats and what they do making us reroll our classes in the same continuity. Also he would just sort of brush me aside to role play with the rest of the group and snap at me whenever I spoke. Also he made me roll for basic movement such as walking outside of combat. Yeah I don’t think he was very good at his job. (Edit) the point I’m trying to make here is if I ever get to play an actual game of DnD I like to think I would kind of be like the anti newbie.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that being exceedingly cautious is to your benefit in a new environment, you also do not need special insight or extensive experience to deduce that people may be attached to their fingers.
lolroflroflcakes And yet so many players choose not to do so. Probably because they aren’t trying hard intellectually and are more focused on shenanigans then tactics.
oooh 20+ years, in a guild with a beholder for a leader and such races as dwarfs and mindflayers around? yes, 20 years becomes rather short in that context.
Thanks for writing this I was about to rant.... yeahhhh goldfish need filtration and proper diet and heat stability and a small tank like a 40 gallon is only good for 1-2 fancy goldfish. So yeah, neglected fish.
considering that dungeons and dragons is set in what is basically high fantasy medieval times the assumption is that advanced aquarium filtration science doesn't exist yet
I want whimsy as a pet. Or puffin should get someone to make whimsy plushes so I can use him as a place keeper on my maps. But it has to make sound when you squeeze it.
"The average life span of a pet goldfish is five to 10 years. In the wild, they can live as long as 25 years. In fact, the oldest goldfish ever recorded was 43 years old."
"That door's staying closed." "We shouldn't explore that ancient temple." "No, we're not getting on the boat." "We're not staying in the town where everyone is super nice to us." Signs that a person has played D&D before XD
@@Nionivek There wouldn't have *been* a fight if he was Chadwick Strongpants! The troll would have run away at the first sight of Chadwick Strongpants, and then incinerated not only himself but also his entire extended family for good measure, for all who live know that there can surely be neither victory nor escape when facing the righteous might of Chadwick Strongpants!
You thought this went bad? Once my party split in a game, leaving several of their friends trying to secure a magical object, while the rest tried to fight an army of 18,000 Drow. (They were level 4, to be clear) Never in my absolute wildest dreams did I ever even conceive my players would try to fight the marching army they passed. Needless to say, 18K d20 attacks later (I used an online generator here, and just ran down the list until a player died) it was a near total party kill (2 survivors out of 6 players) the two survivors were the ones not there, then one of them strapped two barrels of gunpowder to themselves, ran forward, and blew up trying to take out the general. He failed too. The last survivor made the smart decision to run away as fast as his Dragonborn legs could carry him. But he got the artifact. The party considered it a crushing success.
as long as they had fun with it, success. Look for the story of the players who found the head of vecna, the party wipe was complete and self inflicted and they came back for more with new characters.
Plot twist: Xanathar ate a Ring of Animal Speaking years ago and is fully aware of Sylgar's many doppelgangers, but A. He just loves all goldfish, not any one in particular B. He loves watching his minions scramble about in sitcom shenanigans every time he (secretly) kills a goldfish that disagreed with him
4-10 is the usual life expectancy though, because people do not care about their goldfishes, you really need to keep an eye on the water and on the fish, seriously you need to change that stuff so much and you should actually have 40 Liter tank (over 10 US liguid gallons), so the hormone level won't go up too fast in the water, that also epxlains why some peoples goldfish stay small, even though they can grow to a size of cantaloupe (yes, seriously), those hormones affect their growth, you pretty much need to change about 33% of the water per 2 weeks. Also, you really need to check for various diseases, and before you introduce your goldfish to the tank, you should have had to run the tank for 2 months before getting the fish, why? Because of the good bacteria growth, you can buy some good bacteria base from a pet store normally, just put that in the dechlorinated water you're using in your tank and you're good to go, then if you want, you can teach some neat tricks for your goldie, the more you keep him stimulated the longer he can live, if they live a life of solitude, that will also kill them faster.
Yeah it's a shame that people just throw a fish in a bowl and think it will live long. I had a really nice large tank (I can't remember the size) with like 7 feeder fish in it (the ones they feed to piranha) they lived for around 9-10 years. I took really good care of them considering one of them I had gotten at my friends 9th birthday party and named him Mr. Longtails.🤣 I legit cried when he passed cause he was my largest and he was the last of the school to pass.😞 I loved them, I used to just sit there drawing art, looking at a very pretty tank with large fish from white to gold swimming around, it was inspiring and amazing. I now have 2 cats, 1 dog and my bird who is now around 20 years of age (I'm turning 21 in March, mah beautiful birb is almost the same age as me, they're also a handful to take care of). So I can't keep up with the maintenance of my 2 fish tanks so they're empty right now. I hope to refill them soon though.
woul;d be a clever way to weaken xanathar first. kill the goldfish indiscreetly. he flips the fuck out and kills everyone in the building. likely he attacks the mind flayer too, and the fight weakens him further. then you are ready to take him out.
I mean, it is a valid approach, though you have to be careful about leaving people you've actually tortured alive. Those kinds of things come back to bite you in the end. You also probably can't play as a paladin for a particularly Noble God with that kind of tactic.
see i got shit when i played that way. home brew game my guy was a SF military dude so i played him that way gm had to keep reminding the other players no this is actually how his character would respond. my guy was a way to self assured it was hwarang from tekken ok there... i cant help it if the other guys were from things like star trek and dr who and were respectable my guy was a street thug that got into fights for the fun of it that got drafted by the korean selective services and excelled at it.
@@ThomasVockins they could be just cast a minimizing spell on it and wipe it's memory and there you have a cute abolith that doesn't even know what the crap is happening
KARL HYE THE HOLY PRIEST OF LIGHT I’m pretty sure you can’t wipe their memory and even if you could I’m sure they have high spell resistance and wiping their memory will just make them into a crazed aboleth
I do, and that because my two other teammates are pretty incompetent and by that i mean they'll take every chance to fling their lives (and by extension mine) to every possible danger when they get the chance
PF goes through the process of detailing the relationship between Xanathar and the goldfish. Me: Ok how long until one of the PC's knocks the goldfish bowl over?
“You see a humanoid creature with tentacles coming down from his chin-“ *SLAM* DM: Wait, I-I wasn’t finished describing him. Rouge: Doesn’t matter! We’re not going in there! DM: But I-there’s the block text that I gotta read. Rouge: You can take your block text and shove it! DM: But th-there’s a sce- Rouge: No! DM: You- Rouge: No! DM: Bu- Rouge: No! No, no, no, no, no! No to all of that. *No!* Other person: Hey is the door unlocked? Rouge: Doesn’t matter! That door is staying closed!
A mindflayer consumes the mind of a swashbuckler, but the individuals will us so strong the mindflayer's own will us over written. Now the ilithid believes itself to be a seafaring swordsman trapped in a monster's body and seeks a way to be turned back all while trying to learn how to control his "new" psionic abilities.
He should of ran with it and combined the powers from the mindflayer with the awash buckler. It would of been a deadly encounter but it would of been soooo awesome!
Yeah and the pirate mindflayer is stuck on a ghost ship and on a quest for this really drunk pirate with extremely high luck stat who's name is Jack who stole the mind flayers heart in a jar of dirt
Honestly done that as a player. poked my paladin head in a room to see an ancient black dragon asleep on a pile of gold, instantly began shoving the party the other way saying "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOOOOOPE!"
@@crazyscotsman9327 Wouldn't it be the Pits of Greed, technically? :P But I can see someone shoving their party out the door, quietly whispering "We are NOT fighting god-damned SMAUG for a handful of gold coins, we can get that from looting WAY less scary shit, now _get out of the room!"_
I've had a character do the EXACT same thing as the rogue. *opens door to a room with 7 mindflayers* NOPE! *Jumps on the nope train to out of the dungeon.*
It's a very realistic in-character reaction, I'd allow it. The campaign might go a completely different path than expected, which can be scary for a DM, but you can always have the consequences catch up with them somehow. So long as it's not forcing them to the conflict, I don't even consider that railroading.
@@Nionivek I followed what the book said...no where near as cool... On the other hand, I turned the Nimblewright into a General Grievous fighting construct.
Same this module is so hard to run my players did almost nothing the book said every time they were supposed to do a thing they tried desperately to do the opposite so I just stopped bringing the book and made it up.
Well beholders are not exactly known for being stable minded villains. They tend to be a lil loopy. Hell one turned a character of mine into a Drider and insisted they were it's wife in one session going on about how it will kill Lloth, which you can guess how well that boasting went.
A little loopy is right. I loved the beholders in Spelljammer. The had ships with LASERBEAMS and POWER and could have murdered every other race in the universe... only they absalutly hated any beholder that was in anyway different from their subspieces of Beholder, so they spent all their time attacking every "impure" Beholder in the universe - EVERY OTHER BEHOLDER NATION!!" So, since there were hundreds of Beholder subspecies, they would be having spectacular battles near every port and everyone else would be carefully trying not to get their attention as they floated by...
"You open the door and see tentacles..." *closes door immediately* "Uh, don't want to know the rest?" "Nope. Not going to happen. This door stays closed." Exactly would be my reaction. LMAO!
Reminds me of a time that we opened the door on a giant talking snake. The snake started to give his speech and we shut the door. Happened another 2 times before the snake game up and walked to the door.
I honestly thought they were going to meet Xanathar and the fish, and point out the whole lifespan thing causing every minion in the room to silently freakout while Xanathar crunched the numbers and realised that they must be replacing the fish; and then the grief-fueled rampage...
8:40 You see a humanoid figure with tentacles running down his fa- **NOPE** May have been meta gaming but honestly I would too if it meant avoiding a mind flayer.
I have one of those early villain killed stories. I was running a 1st Edition game with a fairly large group. This meant I needed to increase encounter difficulties, as well as make sure my tailored adventure would engage each of the players. At one point in the story, they encounter the master evil wizard's Imp. In the story, he was supposed to call out the adventurers and hint as to where the bosses evil lair would be. On paper, this looked fine. Each player got a chance to shine. The Theif could run down contacts in the local guild to verify the Imps info. The Wizard could cast their new Clairvoyance scroll to good effect. The fighter could best one of the bosses warrior lieutenants in a dual in the middle of town. Finally, the ranger in the party could tract the evil wizard's horseshoe prints half way into a cursed woods. "Good stuff" I though. At this point, I should mention that I have been rolling ALL dice rolls openly for the players. Ya know, to be fair? So during the encounter with the imp, the entire party suddenly decides to kill the evil wizard's familiar. And they do. Killed him good. Half the tavern was on fire, but hell, the evl imp was dead, and they even paid for the damages and helped fix the tavern up good as new. That's when the questions started... "So, the evil Wizard has to roll a system shock, right?" "Hey, doesn't that mean we could have potentially killed the leader of the liches?" So. I rolled. Now my boss here, had a Constitution of 16. Not bad for a wizard. I rolled the percentage roll, lower the better. 100%. I rolled 100 percent. Not only did they kill the imp familiar, they killed the main boss of the entire storyline... Ugh... Eggs on my face, because a vulnerable point like a wizard's familiar should have be no where near the party, maybe only spying on them. So I pull the leader aside, who was a badass Assassin trying to form his own unique Guild in the region. He was a 30+ year veteran of AD&D (myself I've played AD&D for over 25+ years). "So, um... Jay, that was the boss." I was embarrassed to hell I let something like that happen after being a DM for over 2 decades. "It's okay, we can spin this however you want. So what if the remaining forces of Liches and Dragons fight each other, and we could show up to put out the fires and so forth." It wasn't the story I was going for, but oh well. The region succumbed to civil war between Liches, Dragons, and Death Knights. All in a bid to fill the power vacuum the evil Wizards death caused. It went okay. But I'll never use a familiar as a story hook ever again.
Killing the familiar should result in one level lost to the owner/ mage. Not thier death . Also, undead mages are immune to most ' death' effects. Additionally, a lich can reform from a nearby body in 1d4 days as long as it's phylactery is intact. Try : programmed illusion; magic mouth/ messages; whispering wind. Be sure to make the evil villan EVIL. Not generic evil, Hannibal lector with magic EVIL.
@@aaronhumphrey2009 Those spells are definitely more useful for a mage villain. Dammit. Such good ideas. I'll adopt those for the next campaign for sure.
@@Aurilion44 Nah, in AD&D 1st the lost of a familiar really could kill ya if you fail a System Shock. Some DMs rule instead the mage loses a permanent CON instead. Also, Magic Missiles never miss. Oddly, back in the 80's we always gave an ability score point for the player every 3 levels. It was first introduced into the actual rules in 3rd edition D&D. Weird, eh? We've been doing that all along-! Haha
@@atreyucampbell7630 Yeah, Magic Missile was like that until, I think, 4E :) Still, I was referring to the death defying effects (of Liches especially) that other mentioned and, perhaps, they weren't present in 1st Edition at that time, so that was why you didn't use them :)
Deadass the player who just shuts the door and leaves upon seeing a mindflayer actually killed me. Probably the most genuine reaction I've ever seen lol
Legends say that Sylgar was so ruthless he once destroyed Waterdeep and drowned many gangsters just for the thrills. " YES MUHAHAHA!!! I've made many adventurers sleep with the fishes!!!! Laughs manically" - dictated but not read by Sylgar the Ruthless
the entire point of this channel is to show off how horrible this guy is as a gm and how his players take every single opportunity to fuck up things further, its hilarious xD
I just wanted to thank you for the vids. The whole bit with the "You can take your block text and shove it!" scene had me laugh for about an hour now and frankly, I really, REALLY needed that. So thanks.
What I would do make the fish imortal and then sell Xanathar a luxury fishtank for a moderate amout of gold and work hard by suplying him with more goods for his precious fish while I begin to build my own crimnal empire in another city with the cash I got from the beholder and slowly build an alience with the floting ball of crazy and eventualy work with him to take over the criminal underworld of the whole continent he gets one half I get the other and if he thinks about backstabing me I'll offer him an imortal beta fish as a friend for Sylgar XD
Yes I have talked to people who don't like to fudge rolls or even use DM screens because they don't want the players to feel like you are cheating, I say to that bollocks, I don't want my players to die because they decided to do something that was super risky and probably pretty dumb, because the dice decided he was going to die for his hubris, I will probably hurt the player for being a dumbass but I will also let them live even if the dice say otherwise.
@@sandraj45617 I am not sure, but I have talked to people who also DM and well well let's say they particularly boring in my opinion, one need to make things up as by one's judgement and to the benefit of the enjoyment of the players, one must adapt to their preferences in gaming and playstyle to match how one should be towards them
I personally play with a little bit of column a and column b. Most combat is open, but random encounters/durations/tables/random d100s to make the players nervous feels like a nice balance. The open combat rolls does get rid of fudging accusations and also makes metaing more noticeable. “Oh. That has a +11 to hit and we’re level 4... we should leave” Good thing characters can’t see dice rolls. (This started from Curse of Strahd when my party stumbled into a group of vampire spawnlings thinking I made them TPK... the paladin even divine sensed there were indeed vampires and they proceeded forward...)
@@matthewmac5787 but its dnd medieval times, so there could be a magical filter that surpasses our technological filters. Magic always throws real-life logic out the window.
Your stone had an aboleth inside? Ours had a shoggoth, and we had to fight it after accidentally releasing it. Now that I think about it, our Dragon Heist had a lot of creative liberties. *We turned Trollskull Manor into a casino and hired Bonnie the barmaid and her "family" as our manager *Renaer Neverember was JFK *We actually learned Vincent Trench's secret, good thing he's our buddy *Inspector Poirot, Nick and Nora Charles, and Miss Marple all made cameos as reskins of important NPCs in the book *You know that nimblewright that throws fireballs at Trollskull Manor? Our fighter actually managed to defeat it, which we're apparently not supposed to do *We bought a nimblewright, which we also weren't supposed to do *Jarlaxle was our villain, and he had us framed for money laundering and insurance fraud *Then we went to court, which is where we fought the shoggoth in the stone I think we were the talk of the store, based on how our DM the next season said "Oh, you're from the casino table..."
In the last session of DnD I’ve played, I ate a Twig Blight. Okay so my character chugged two gallons of beer the night prior of the encounter. So my player got hella waisted, but I didn’t vomit, and I didn’t wake up with a hangover, so I decided that my character lost a few brain cells due to the rapid consumption of alcohol. Which then leads to the fight, which I rolled a one for encounters... which yeah. Anyways the battle was against twelve of these bush things (Twig Blights) and I decided to be mice to them. When one went up to attack me (and failing to land a hit) I gave it a hug. It tried attacking me again, and still failed to hit me. (Basically I was terrorizing the damn thing) My friend took it out of my arms because I refused to let go, and that took her whole turn. My turn was right after that. I decided that keeping it as a pet would be hopeless, but I didn’t want to kill it in a normal fashion. That’s just lame. So I eat it out of my friends hands. The DM just kinda looked at me funnily, then he said he needed to do some research. Idk what’s going to happen to my character.
Bad Cop: "I got a riddle, what has two arms, but-" Good Cop: "Ooh, Ooh, I'm good at riddles, let me, let me! Hmm, 'what has two arms', I don't get it." Bad Cop: "The question is for him." :point's-at-prisoner: Good Cop: "Oh, it's just a question, never mind, I like riddles, not just plain old questions... go on." Bad Cop: "Ugh. Ok, where was I. Oh yeah, right." :clears-throat: Bad Cop: "What has two arms-" Good Cop: "Oh, I get it, it's him, right? I know it's gonna be him. Am I right? Am I right?" Bad Cop: "You are ruining my moment. This, here, this isn't working. Go over there, eat a donut or something." Good Cop: :munching-on-a-donut: Bad Cop: "What has-" Good Cop: :cough-cough-wheeze-cough: Bad Cop: :looks-down: :shakes-head: Good Cop: "Sorry, I choked on the donut. Keep going." Bad Cop: :silence: Bad Cop: :looks-back-at-prisoner: Bad Cop: :talking-really-fast: "Whathastwoarmsbutonlyneedsone?" Prisoner: "What? That was too fast, I didn't catch all of that" Good Cop: "Me neither." Bad Cop: :scowls-at-good-cop: Good Cop: :eyes-get-big: :takes-a-step-back: Bad Cop: "What has two arms but only needs one?" :silence: Prisoner: "I don't know, a river or something, I don't really get the-" Bad Cop: "YOU! I mean you!" :mumbles: "idiot" Prisoner: "Oh. I thought it was a metaphor or something. I thought a riddle was usually non-literal. You know, like an analogy, or-" Bad Cop: "Gahh!! I'm leaving!" Good Cop: "Okay, now that he's gone, who wants a donut? Well maybe if I had some work to go do I wouldn't need these donuts and I could go do my job..." Prisoner: "Ok, fine, get a pad and pen... ... There, that's all." :good-cop-leaves: Bad Cop: "I can't believe you got all that for just a few donuts." Good Cop: "There weren't any donuts." Bad Cop: "Then how'd you choke!?" Good Cop: "I'm just a... :put's-on-sunglasses: really good cop..."
Players do what the DM wants? pfft who ever heard of that? My step-dad ran a game that he literally planned 1 month of adventure (real time) for each road out of town, he had 4 folders for 4 roads, we by some damn miracle decided to go chase the 5th road, a Death Knight, because apparently hero's rising from the grave and walking off was unheard of and we simply *HAD* to go investigate and make sure this well known hero rested in peace; he told us the rest of the session he had to wing it cause he had absolutely nothing planned, he even tried to suggest in game we not deviate from the 4 roads out of town... nope! off we go! 3 full sessions went by he had to keep winging it because we apparently were too dumb to take the main roads, so he had to build his game around our dumb luck and insistence on taking this really bad idea path.
Durnan is awesome because he's: Spoilers ahead Leader of the Red Sashes Former Hidden Lord of Waterdeep Probably Immortal (Definitely) Keeper of Undermountain Seriously Badass Barkeeper Seriously hates *EVIL* And many more
6:00 Goldfish actually have a relatively long life expectancy. They can live for 25 years in the wild and the oldest ever captive goldfish lived to be 43. Usually, however, in captivity, goldfish only live from 5 to 10 years. This is often because of the poor conditions people keep them in. Goldfish can reach a size of 30 cm and sometimes get even better. When kept in a bowl, they're not given room to grow, which can cause health issues. Bowls are also really terrible at oxygen exchange; they don't have a filter (and goldfish produce a lot of waste). There's no heating equipment for bowls and often very little stimulation or enrichment for the fish. (The 3 second memory is a myth, by the way. Goldfish can be trained to jump or swim through hoops and other interesting tricks) Recommended tank size is 20 gallons to start and +10 gallons per fish (according to Google) So, yeah. Xanathar sucks.
So beholders are racist mofos and will enslave their own kind over tiny 'imperfections', but I think it's kind of cute one has a goldfish for a pet. My issue is, as observant as Beholders are, it must be really difficult to trick one into thinking he has only one goldfish by finding one that looks EXACTLY the same.
There is also an official guild fishkeeper named Ott Steeltoes, who's job is to take care of Sylgar and make sure Xanathar doesn't find out when Sylgar dies while finding the replacement.
I like the goldfish bit. I love when enemies and players have quirks. Like a secret Achilles heel, even better if it factors into their backstory. Kinda dark, but I thought about Ellen’s fear of the color yellow in “I have no mouth and I must scream”. Adds an extra element to the puzzles, and the reason she hates yellow is heartbreaking.
9:05 that's supposed to be the moment you decide that for... No real reason... The Mind flayer decides that he's going to "go for a walk" through that door, SOOOOO INEXPLICABLY~
Thanks for making this episode. The story of the swashbuckling mindflayer inspired an NPC in my ongoing game who turned out to be extremely popular with my players.
I doubt Xanathar takes very good care of the Goldfish. I know he loves it, but I suspect he wouldn’t have listened even if his lieutenants had the guts to explain to him how to properly care for a Goldfish. Things like not over feeding it, getting it the right food, keeping the water well oxygenated and the right temperature, keeping the bowl clean, etc.
I read part of Xanthar's guide and it talked about not changing fish water and the fish is fine, and we didn't do anything and you know what, don't even mention it. Or us. And now I get it.
I think that if I saw a mind flayer with a pirate hat and a rapier I'd be even more frightened.
(technically spoilers for Mad Mage but literally just a name)
right? that's some Captain N'ghathrod shit right there
Mind Flayer in a karate gi, with a black belt.
The mage throws his wand down in a huff and shouts "Dammit! He's got monk saving throws!"
Ok, who else here was expecting a repeat of the goblin swashbuckler incident?
Clearly he's just been eating a lot of pirate brains recently.
Something something *_Spelljammer_*
So people may think Puffin is interpreting Xanathar in his usual goofy comedic fashion... No thats literally how Xanathar would react
True and honestly it would have been cool if they had killed sylgar and got to see everything go to hell
100% agree!
Hazama 06 hold the fish for ransom
Johnathan Archer no that would have made him attack them not destroythe entire guild in a fitnof depression
The Rogue in my group asked the DM if he could roll for stealth and sneak into the room with Sylgar and poison him. The DM respond was flat out "please dont."
You see a humanoid with tentacles growing from his mou-
*SLAMS DOOR* NOPE!
Perfectly reasonable reaction.
Stranger Things taught us well. Be weary of the mindflayer.
I wouldn't slam the door though, I would slowly and quietly close the door before cautiously erupting into a full sprint
"Was that door unlocked?" "That door you're talking about was an illusion, huge waste of time, take my word on it, I'm a rogue, I know real doors."
Real talk.
"Doesn't matter, this door is staying closed." best response ever, as (often) my parties trap finder/remover and hidden room finder, I can 100% agree with this scenario.
"Hey was the door unlocked?"
"Doesn't matter, that door - is staying closed."
That is the correct way to respond to seeing a mindflayer
You open a door and see a creature with tentacles at level 1. My answer is no immediately, I’m willing to bet it is either a mind flayer or a beholder and I want none.
Hey hey I’m not effing with that (does a happy jaunt out the door)
See my players don't think like that because the first and so far only mind flayer they encountered at level 2 rolled SO TERRIBLY and they rolled SO WELL that they pounded it into the ground after one turn.
You could have let them kill the swashbuckling mind flayer, then reveal that it was all an illusion and the real mind flayer was just messing with them.
Yes please you are have smart
I think you would be a good dm
@@cuzynot5979 same
Not gonna lie, that would freak me out so bad
OH how I was messed with by my DM when half the party nearly drowns in fake water while we where fighting a "water elemental," we were lvl 3, and the only reason we didn't die was because my thunder smite actually hit a lake a shocked us all "awake" the elemental was an illusion by a powerful witch, miles and miles away...
Wow. That new player was like... the anti-newbie. New to the game but behaves like an experienced and hardened veteran.
I guess they’ve seen enough videos to be in the know? I’ve never played a game of DND that wasn’t upended by the GM by changing the world after we made our characters and changing stats and what they do making us reroll our classes in the same continuity. Also he would just sort of brush me aside to role play with the rest of the group and snap at me whenever I spoke.
Also he made me roll for basic movement such as walking outside of combat. Yeah I don’t think he was very good at his job.
(Edit) the point I’m trying to make here is if I ever get to play an actual game of DnD I like to think I would kind of be like the anti newbie.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that being exceedingly cautious is to your benefit in a new environment, you also do not need special insight or extensive experience to deduce that people may be attached to their fingers.
@@lolroflroflcakes literaly
lolroflroflcakes And yet so many players choose not to do so. Probably because they aren’t trying hard intellectually and are more focused on shenanigans then tactics.
Dreamwalker Yeah dude, that DM sounded like he sucked. Like REALLY bad. He either hated you, or just straight up did not know how to play correctly.
Opens door
->Mindflayer
From a distance, a familiar voice: *I warned yo-*
SLAMS DOOR SHUT
From a distance: *Nevermind*
Sword of Warning 10/10
@@safetytheflamewolf *I waRneD YoU!!!*
@@Amber_Scarlet I WARNED YOU!
@@safetytheflamewolf
me: *stubs toe and summons the tarrasque as she curses*
Sword of Warning: I WARNED YOU!!!!!
guys.... just, just stop, (from distance) I waRneD YoU!1!!!1
Xanathar: and then we will make their children watch!
Sylgar: blub
Xanathar: whoa... im not that evil....
AbyssWatcher Sif
Sylgar: *blub*
Xanathar: maybe I am.... >o)
Uh
blub
*If I was the rogue I would've lockpicked the door back to a locked state.*
picklocked the door
anti-lockpicking, a very useful skill indeed
Can you do that???
@@ragonrokgames yes, as in theory a lockpick is just a very complicated key
Always carry a hammer and nails.
Fun fact, goldfish actually can live up to 20+ years when cared for properly.
So... Xanathar killed the fish through neglect.
Actually, I think that the people who made the module did not know that goldfish could live that long, and didn’t bother researching
oooh 20+ years, in a guild with a beholder for a leader and such races as dwarfs and mindflayers around?
yes, 20 years becomes rather short in that context.
He probably got it from a carnival, Your lucky if they last more than a Day
Thanks for writing this I was about to rant.... yeahhhh goldfish need filtration and proper diet and heat stability and a small tank like a 40 gallon is only good for 1-2 fancy goldfish. So yeah, neglected fish.
considering that dungeons and dragons is set in what is basically high fantasy medieval times the assumption is that advanced aquarium filtration science doesn't exist yet
"Nevermind, I don't trust the clown."
Dude I'm at work, I can't laugh like that.
Whimsy is probably the best character you've ever described and this episode solidifies it
Sooooo True!
I want whimsy as a pet. Or puffin should get someone to make whimsy plushes so I can use him as a place keeper on my maps. But it has to make sound when you squeeze it.
My favorite npc is back yay
Whimsy is Abserd’s Great Old One Patron
*splish splish*
A familiar voice calls from the distance... I WARNED YOOUUUUU
shit, which one was that from again?
The Malikar one.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
@@Achonas DnD Story: My players LOSE the final fight!
I now want a “I warned you shirt”.
Xanathar: looks like we have a traitor. How should we deal with them Sylgar?
Sylgar: blub
Xanathar: yes and make their family watch.
The traitor: no not California
Is that a Sam o nella reference
Yes thats a Sam O'nella reference
@@thelordofhotcoco9458 XD
blub
"The average life span of a pet goldfish is five to 10 years. In the wild, they can live as long as 25 years. In fact, the oldest goldfish ever recorded was 43 years old."
Compared to the life expectancy of dwarves n stuff, pretty short.
It is just a few years in a bowl.
Goldfish are some of the only fish robust enough to survive even that long.
43? Damn that goldfish out lived me so far.
"There's block text, I have to read for you."
"You can take your block text, and *shove it* "
No no no NO NO NOOO
*sad dm noises*
That kills me. So fucking funny
I lol'd at that so much.
"That door's staying closed." "We shouldn't explore that ancient temple." "No, we're not getting on the boat." "We're not staying in the town where everyone is super nice to us." Signs that a person has played D&D before XD
What..? The Barkeep was Chadwick Strongpants??
The fight wouldn't have lasted a round if it was Chadwick Strongpants… Fighting him is like fighting against the sun!
@@Nionivek and thus the legend of Chadwick Strongpants goes on... And on...
@@Nionivek There wouldn't have *been* a fight if he was Chadwick Strongpants! The troll would have run away at the first sight of Chadwick Strongpants, and then incinerated not only himself but also his entire extended family for good measure, for all who live know that there can surely be neither victory nor escape when facing the righteous might of Chadwick Strongpants!
Oh I think chadwink would just blink the ogre away
it honestly looked more like Logan Thackery to me
You thought this went bad?
Once my party split in a game, leaving several of their friends trying to secure a magical object, while the rest tried to fight an army of 18,000 Drow. (They were level 4, to be clear)
Never in my absolute wildest dreams did I ever even conceive my players would try to fight the marching army they passed.
Needless to say, 18K d20 attacks later (I used an online generator here, and just ran down the list until a player died) it was a near total party kill (2 survivors out of 6 players) the two survivors were the ones not there, then one of them strapped two barrels of gunpowder to themselves, ran forward, and blew up trying to take out the general.
He failed too.
The last survivor made the smart decision to run away as fast as his Dragonborn legs could carry him.
But he got the artifact.
The party considered it a crushing success.
as long as they had fun with it, success.
Look for the story of the players who found the head of vecna, the party wipe was complete and self inflicted and they came back for more with new characters.
I would too :D! I mean, they were able to steal a Magic McGuffin from an army of 18K Drows. A freaking Drows. Success of the century :)
You're party is idiots
In a situation like that I would not bother rolling dice, just say they die.
*Dead bodies scattered everywhere*
Party: NAILED IT!!!
Plot twist: Xanathar ate a Ring of Animal Speaking years ago and is fully aware of Sylgar's many doppelgangers, but
A. He just loves all goldfish, not any one in particular
B. He loves watching his minions scramble about in sitcom shenanigans every time he (secretly) kills a goldfish that disagreed with him
O_O
I mean, beholders are crazy. I could see it lol
Messed up ... and in-character ... and darkly comedic. I love it :D.
I'd do that, hahaha
longest living goldfish lived to be 43 years of age. on the average of 5 to 10 years with good water conditions and a nutritional diet.
Most people don't give a crap for the fish wellbeing, most put It in a bow with Water, And are shocket when It die after 5 weeks
4-10 is the usual life expectancy though, because people do not care about their goldfishes, you really need to keep an eye on the water and on the fish, seriously you need to change that stuff so much and you should actually have 40 Liter tank (over 10 US liguid gallons), so the hormone level won't go up too fast in the water, that also epxlains why some peoples goldfish stay small, even though they can grow to a size of cantaloupe (yes, seriously), those hormones affect their growth, you pretty much need to change about 33% of the water per 2 weeks.
Also, you really need to check for various diseases, and before you introduce your goldfish to the tank, you should have had to run the tank for 2 months before getting the fish, why? Because of the good bacteria growth, you can buy some good bacteria base from a pet store normally, just put that in the dechlorinated water you're using in your tank and you're good to go, then if you want, you can teach some neat tricks for your goldie, the more you keep him stimulated the longer he can live, if they live a life of solitude, that will also kill them faster.
Mazaroth You need at least 120L for a goldfish though
Dang beholder not keeping up with water parameters.
Yeah it's a shame that people just throw a fish in a bowl and think it will live long.
I had a really nice large tank (I can't remember the size) with like 7 feeder fish in it (the ones they feed to piranha) they lived for around 9-10 years. I took really good care of them considering one of them I had gotten at my friends 9th birthday party and named him Mr. Longtails.🤣 I legit cried when he passed cause he was my largest and he was the last of the school to pass.😞 I loved them, I used to just sit there drawing art, looking at a very pretty tank with large fish from white to gold swimming around, it was inspiring and amazing. I now have 2 cats, 1 dog and my bird who is now around 20 years of age (I'm turning 21 in March, mah beautiful birb is almost the same age as me, they're also a handful to take care of). So I can't keep up with the maintenance of my 2 fish tanks so they're empty right now. I hope to refill them soon though.
Sylgar's responses are PRECISELY what I had hoped they'd be. xD
Xanathar: Slygar, what do you want to eat today?
Slygar: *Blub*
Xanathar: Human bonemarrow it is!
Reminds me of Don Fluffles from SAO Abridged.
I was kinda hoping the fish would be responding like that, but after about 3 times he would just say something dark in a really deep voice...
Adventurer: Tampers with goldfish
Xanathar: *I'm about to end this man's whole career*
woul;d be a clever way to weaken xanathar first. kill the goldfish indiscreetly. he flips the fuck out and kills everyone in the building. likely he attacks the mind flayer too, and the fight weakens him further. then you are ready to take him out.
"Your using the wrong stat block?"
"I was using the wrong stat block"🤣🤣🤣
We've all been there once haven't we?
@@theblazingcrusader6322 yes. Yes we have.
What I like about Xanathar is that you'd think he's just some character made by a weird DM. But is actually an official cannon character.
Best riddle and the funniest to me: "How many fingers of yours you want to keep attached?"
*Nice* seriousness.
I mean, it is a valid approach, though you have to be careful about leaving people you've actually tortured alive. Those kinds of things come back to bite you in the end. You also probably can't play as a paladin for a particularly Noble God with that kind of tactic.
I swear to god i will use this one day
see i got shit when i played that way. home brew game my guy was a SF military dude so i played him that way gm had to keep reminding the other players no this is actually how his character would respond. my guy was a way to self assured it was hwarang from tekken ok there... i cant help it if the other guys were from things like star trek and dr who and were respectable my guy was a street thug that got into fights for the fun of it that got drafted by the korean selective services and excelled at it.
I got to that part and started crying holy shit
When I played it my friends got the riddle wrong and the clown disappeared
Your Aboliths are adorable.
Like buy-one-for-your-daughter-at-the-state-fair level adorable.
EgoEroTergum in the monster manual.. they are not like that at all 😂
@@ThomasVockins they could be just cast a minimizing spell on it and wipe it's memory and there you have a cute abolith that doesn't even know what the crap is happening
Aboleth. abolEth
You say that, but if you get its other personality, you will not survive.
KARL HYE THE HOLY PRIEST OF LIGHT I’m pretty sure you can’t wipe their memory and even if you could I’m sure they have high spell resistance and wiping their memory will just make them into a crazed aboleth
Being responsible and following the book, WHO does THAT?
I know right? How _ABSERD!_
Liam obrian for president of d&d beyond
We only skim the book here...
I do, and that because my two other teammates are pretty incompetent and by that i mean they'll take every chance to fling their lives (and by extension mine) to every possible danger when they get the chance
Like all rpgs. Books are polite suggestions. When I do get around to this one. Swashbuckling mindflayer.
PF goes through the process of detailing the relationship between Xanathar and the goldfish.
Me: Ok how long until one of the PC's knocks the goldfish bowl over?
it is 3 tons so i dont think they can move it
Bliksem Engel ...how long until they blow it up then?
@@Daoloth12 it will be their first action
bet the next episode on this will be Ben telling us how his party tried to assassinate a Goldfish.
Only in DnD can i say that and it makes sense.
Actually, anyone seen a Fish Named Wanda?
I would totally eat that goldfish.
“You see a humanoid creature with tentacles coming down from his chin-“
*SLAM*
DM: Wait, I-I wasn’t finished describing him.
Rouge: Doesn’t matter! We’re not going in there!
DM: But I-there’s the block text that I gotta read.
Rouge: You can take your block text and shove it!
DM: But th-there’s a sce-
Rouge: No!
DM: You-
Rouge: No!
DM: Bu-
Rouge: No! No, no, no, no, no! No to all of that. *No!*
Other person: Hey is the door unlocked?
Rouge: Doesn’t matter! That door is staying closed!
Very talkative bit of lipstick, that one.
Another brutality point.
Honestly a crazy mind flayer that thinks it's a pirate would be awesome and funny
What about a crazy (Maybe brain damaged SHH some fights go bad) Beholder who think's everyone's his friend?
A mindflayer consumes the mind of a swashbuckler, but the individuals will us so strong the mindflayer's own will us over written. Now the ilithid believes itself to be a seafaring swordsman trapped in a monster's body and seeks a way to be turned back all while trying to learn how to control his "new" psionic abilities.
He should of ran with it and combined the powers from the mindflayer with the awash buckler. It would of been a deadly encounter but it would of been soooo awesome!
Yeah and the pirate mindflayer is stuck on a ghost ship and on a quest for this really drunk pirate with extremely high luck stat who's name is Jack who stole the mind flayers heart in a jar of dirt
i'm pretty sure thee is a mind flayer pirate, who also has a helper hamster as his buddy.
Puffin: the room...
Player: *closes the door* “NOPE!”
I laughed way too hard at that,
Honestly done that as a player. poked my paladin head in a room to see an ancient black dragon asleep on a pile of gold, instantly began shoving the party the other way saying "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOOOOOPE!"
I had an encounter like that called simply. The lust pits. Nope no no.
@@crazyscotsman9327 Wouldn't it be the Pits of Greed, technically? :P
But I can see someone shoving their party out the door, quietly whispering "We are NOT fighting god-damned SMAUG for a handful of gold coins, we can get that from looting WAY less scary shit, now _get out of the room!"_
The player character IS the most unpredictable monster of all time!
I've had a character do the EXACT same thing as the rogue.
*opens door to a room with 7 mindflayers*
NOPE! *Jumps on the nope train to out of the dungeon.*
It's a very realistic in-character reaction, I'd allow it. The campaign might go a completely different path than expected, which can be scary for a DM, but you can always have the consequences catch up with them somehow. So long as it's not forcing them to the conflict, I don't even consider that railroading.
Ben, you've ruined aboleths forever. That one from the Tomb Of Something always comes to my mind and they immediately lose their mystique.
"Well sure yeah I just luv heppin' people."
*Splish, Splish*
I dmed dragon heist ... This is a common occurrence, darn swashbuckling mindflayers.
Whats sad is... That actually sounded awesome.
@@Nionivek I followed what the book said...no where near as cool... On the other hand, I turned the Nimblewright into a General Grievous fighting construct.
I want swashbucking mindlflayers as a special monster stat.
Stats, even.
@@Madhattersinjeans there is one in the next module he's basically Davy Jones.
Same this module is so hard to run my players did almost nothing the book said every time they were supposed to do a thing they tried desperately to do the opposite so I just stopped bringing the book and made it up.
I loved Xanathars personality from the moment I saw him on the cover of his guide to everything... his relationship to sylgar is my favourite thing...
Well beholders are not exactly known for being stable minded villains. They tend to be a lil loopy. Hell one turned a character of mine into a Drider and insisted they were it's wife in one session going on about how it will kill Lloth, which you can guess how well that boasting went.
A little loopy is right. I loved the beholders in Spelljammer. The had ships with LASERBEAMS and POWER and could have murdered every other race in the universe... only they absalutly hated any beholder that was in anyway different from their subspieces of Beholder, so they spent all their time attacking every "impure" Beholder in the universe - EVERY OTHER BEHOLDER NATION!!" So, since there were hundreds of Beholder subspecies, they would be having spectacular battles near every port and everyone else would be carefully trying not to get their attention as they floated by...
Puffin: “I was all ready with my notes and my notepad!”
Notes: *Kill everyone*
Me: “SPOILER!”
Did you really expect anything else from him? Really?
The note are always kill everyone
I saw it one of his older videos too
Friendly Flippin Medic yeah whenever he shows the dm note there’s always kill everyone written somewhere
@@jared5803 oooooh thank you
ITS THE RETURN OF WHIMSY, ALL WILL LOVE HIM AND DESPAIR!!!
Dies of WHIMSILATION
If there was a plush of whimsy
I would buy it
@@Reversefighter oh hell yeah
"They are very similar and..."
"Your using the wrong stats?"
"I'm using the wrong stats."
"You open the door and see tentacles..."
*closes door immediately*
"Uh, don't want to know the rest?"
"Nope. Not going to happen. This door stays closed."
Exactly would be my reaction. LMAO!
@@jonumine6250 The mention of tentacles is all it takes to know somethin ain't right. I say wise call on that one.
"I've seen enough hentai to see where that would be going. Nope."
I did that when I found a demon child in a castle crying and was looting a ton of gold
That was the best part xD
Reminds me of a time that we opened the door on a giant talking snake. The snake started to give his speech and we shut the door. Happened another 2 times before the snake game up and walked to the door.
A MindFlayer that is a swashbuckler would be just Davy Jones from the Caribbean movies
*Davy*
Yes we all remember the terrifying precence that was David Jones!
Throw in a bard multiclass
Davy can technically be a hypocorism of David but still made me laugh.
David Johnathans
Late night crew represent. Puffin has a video, we watch it.
10 more mins won't make a difference to my sleeping schedule. Puffin Forest will!
@@karahtarI interrupted the Reign of Emperor Justinian on Extra History for this!
I love how the green haired character just hears whimsy and makes the “oh not this again” face as if they remember him
I love that Ben's little notepad just had "kill everyone" written on it.
"See a humanoid shape with tentacles hang from-"
*hellll naw, to the naw naw naw*
Nah to the ah to the no no no
Ah hell naaaaaaaaaaaaw!
I was expecting a new party member to just yeet the goldfish to death.
Josh Gagnon same
I expected they would reveal the truth about the goldfish and sneak in while xanathar is going on a rampage
@@shakeee3n I was expecting one of the newbies to steal the goldfish and take it with them.
I thought they would steal it.
Same; I thought they'd pull a Waffle Crew on it. XD
6:48 First level! New player!
... First level. *New. Player. Ben. FIRST. LEVEL.*
I honestly thought they were going to meet Xanathar and the fish, and point out the whole lifespan thing causing every minion in the room to silently freakout while Xanathar crunched the numbers and realised that they must be replacing the fish; and then the grief-fueled rampage...
Worthy last resort, but otherwise that would be suicide. Basically a “if I’m dead anyway, I’m taking your syndicate with me” button.
Sylgar
8:40 You see a humanoid figure with tentacles running down his fa-
**NOPE**
May have been meta gaming but honestly I would too if it meant avoiding a mind flayer.
I have one of those early villain killed stories.
I was running a 1st Edition game with a fairly large group. This meant I needed to increase encounter difficulties, as well as make sure my tailored adventure would engage each of the players.
At one point in the story, they encounter the master evil wizard's Imp. In the story, he was supposed to call out the adventurers and hint as to where the bosses evil lair would be.
On paper, this looked fine. Each player got a chance to shine. The Theif could run down contacts in the local guild to verify the Imps info. The Wizard could cast their new Clairvoyance scroll to good effect. The fighter could best one of the bosses warrior lieutenants in a dual in the middle of town.
Finally, the ranger in the party could tract the evil wizard's horseshoe prints half way into a cursed woods.
"Good stuff" I though.
At this point, I should mention that I have been rolling ALL dice rolls openly for the players. Ya know, to be fair?
So during the encounter with the imp, the entire party suddenly decides to kill the evil wizard's familiar.
And they do. Killed him good.
Half the tavern was on fire, but hell, the evl imp was dead, and they even paid for the damages and helped fix the tavern up good as new.
That's when the questions started...
"So, the evil Wizard has to roll a system shock, right?"
"Hey, doesn't that mean we could have potentially killed the leader of the liches?"
So. I rolled.
Now my boss here, had a Constitution of 16. Not bad for a wizard. I rolled the percentage roll, lower the better.
100%. I rolled 100 percent.
Not only did they kill the imp familiar, they killed the main boss of the entire storyline...
Ugh...
Eggs on my face, because a vulnerable point like a wizard's familiar should have be no where near the party, maybe only spying on them.
So I pull the leader aside, who was a badass Assassin trying to form his own unique Guild in the region.
He was a 30+ year veteran of AD&D (myself I've played AD&D for over 25+ years).
"So, um... Jay, that was the boss." I was embarrassed to hell I let something like that happen after being a DM for over 2 decades.
"It's okay, we can spin this however you want. So what if the remaining forces of Liches and Dragons fight each other, and we could show up to put out the fires and so forth."
It wasn't the story I was going for, but oh well. The region succumbed to civil war between Liches, Dragons, and Death Knights. All in a bid to fill the power vacuum the evil Wizards death caused.
It went okay.
But I'll never use a familiar as a story hook ever again.
Killing the familiar should result in one level lost to the owner/ mage. Not thier death . Also, undead mages are immune to most ' death' effects. Additionally, a lich can reform from a nearby body in 1d4 days as long as it's phylactery is intact. Try : programmed illusion; magic mouth/ messages; whispering wind. Be sure to make the evil villan EVIL. Not generic evil, Hannibal lector with magic EVIL.
@@aaronhumphrey2009 Maybe it wasn't yet present in 1E DnD :) ?
@@aaronhumphrey2009
Those spells are definitely more useful for a mage villain. Dammit.
Such good ideas.
I'll adopt those for the next campaign for sure.
@@Aurilion44
Nah, in AD&D 1st the lost of a familiar really could kill ya if you fail a System Shock. Some DMs rule instead the mage loses a permanent CON instead.
Also, Magic Missiles never miss.
Oddly, back in the 80's we always gave an ability score point for the player every 3 levels. It was first introduced into the actual rules in 3rd edition D&D.
Weird, eh? We've been doing that all along-! Haha
@@atreyucampbell7630 Yeah, Magic Missile was like that until, I think, 4E :) Still, I was referring to the death defying effects (of Liches especially) that other mentioned and, perhaps, they weren't present in 1st Edition at that time, so that was why you didn't use them :)
level 20 absurd shows up as a quest giver at some point too.
Abseeeeeeeerd
GLaDOS *abserd
Aboleths, mind flayers, and circus clowns ... oh my!
Usual RPG campaign ;D
Dont forget beholder and a goldfish!
The clown is probably the scariest thing in this episode.
Deadass the player who just shuts the door and leaves upon seeing a mindflayer actually killed me. Probably the most genuine reaction I've ever seen lol
"Doesn't matter. That door is staying closed." I cannot tell you how many times my rogue's said this to my party over the last year.
Legends say that Sylgar was so ruthless he once destroyed Waterdeep and drowned many gangsters just for the thrills.
" YES MUHAHAHA!!! I've made many adventurers sleep with the fishes!!!! Laughs manically"
- dictated but not read by Sylgar the Ruthless
trainzen11 oh my god make him sylgar the bard and the sentence changes
"You can take your block text and shove it" XD
B-but there's block text... I-I have to... to read it.
I identify with this player so much
@@andrewouellette7128 Same. 😂
No, just no
I Wonder what that said.
Oh I’m sure this won’t go wrong in any way at all.
Edit: WOW, this went wrong in every way imaginable. Who would’ve thought?
the entire point of this channel is to show off how horrible this guy is as a gm and how his players take every single opportunity to fuck up things further, its hilarious xD
Almost.
I was expecting the Goldfish to get killed.
Curb you enthusiasm theme plays slowly in the background
@@ZakanaHachihaCBC yeah, that was my premonition as well
I'd be surprised if a Puffin Forest adventure stuck to the story and went as planned.
I just wanted to thank you for the vids. The whole bit with the "You can take your block text and shove it!" scene had me laugh for about an hour now and frankly, I really, REALLY needed that. So thanks.
5:30 "Look at them Sylgar, they're nothing but ants beneath our fee.. feats."
My party stole sylgar and threw glass into Xanathars eye. Just another day of adventures
Which eye?
Ise no Kami the big one. Xanathar was just cursing at us while the gold fish tender who was an 8th level mage tried to kill our thief
What I would do make the fish imortal and then sell Xanathar a luxury fishtank for a moderate amout of gold and work hard by suplying him with more goods for his precious fish while I begin to build my own crimnal empire in another city with the cash I got from the beholder and slowly build an alience with the floting ball of crazy and eventualy work with him to take over the criminal underworld of the whole continent he gets one half I get the other and if he thinks about backstabing me I'll offer him an imortal beta fish as a friend for Sylgar XD
So the beholder’s layer is like Elmo’s world.
La la la la *ZAP* la la la la *ZAP* Xanathar's Guild...
I suddenly need a campaign based on r/bertstrips
@@MarkBonneaux that would be a very dark campaign but i would still totally want to play in that
Beholders are like onions.
@Berkeley Pickell Round and make people cry?
Something went wrong, so basically every d&d group ever? This is why DMs have screens to direct fate.
When a system is so RNG heavy
Yes I have talked to people who don't like to fudge rolls or even use DM screens because they don't want the players to feel like you are cheating, I say to that bollocks, I don't want my players to die because they decided to do something that was super risky and probably pretty dumb, because the dice decided he was going to die for his hubris, I will probably hurt the player for being a dumbass but I will also let them live even if the dice say otherwise.
Jferrer1310 I do think puffin has gone over this in another video right?
@@sandraj45617
I am not sure, but I have talked to people who also DM and well
well let's say they particularly boring in my opinion, one need to make things up as by one's judgement and to the benefit of the enjoyment of the players, one must adapt to their preferences in gaming and playstyle to match how one should be towards them
I personally play with a little bit of column a and column b. Most combat is open, but random encounters/durations/tables/random d100s to make the players nervous feels like a nice balance. The open combat rolls does get rid of fudging accusations and also makes metaing more noticeable. “Oh. That has a +11 to hit and we’re level 4... we should leave” Good thing characters can’t see dice rolls. (This started from Curse of Strahd when my party stumbled into a group of vampire spawnlings thinking I made them TPK... the paladin even divine sensed there were indeed vampires and they proceeded forward...)
If a crotchety high level boss shouted at me to get off his lawn, I’d listen.
Swashbuckling Mindflayer sounds straight of a wonderfully insane spelljammer game.
Fun fact.
Goldfish can actually live for 25 years
this is a fish in medieval times in a round glass bowl without filter's modern life expectancy is not medieval life expectancy :P
@@matthewmac5787 but its dnd medieval times, so there could be a magical filter that surpasses our technological filters. Magic always throws real-life logic out the window.
@@DoctorVic But who's going to cast magic on Xanathar's goldfish? No one!
When i was little i had a pet goldfish that lived for 20 years i used too talk with it and sing too it when i first got him
and beholders live WAAAAY longer then that.
"You can take your block text and shove it!"
The've seen your video's Ben.
Gold fish can actaully live over a decade but people usually don't care for them properly
They also keep them in tiny bowls instead of, like, a pond...
I had a goldfish that lasted like 2 hours they must have starved it.
@@cultofnatethemagnificent5879 did you transition it into the aquarium or just dump it in?
Your stone had an aboleth inside? Ours had a shoggoth, and we had to fight it after accidentally releasing it. Now that I think about it, our Dragon Heist had a lot of creative liberties.
*We turned Trollskull Manor into a casino and hired Bonnie the barmaid and her "family" as our manager
*Renaer Neverember was JFK
*We actually learned Vincent Trench's secret, good thing he's our buddy
*Inspector Poirot, Nick and Nora Charles, and Miss Marple all made cameos as reskins of important NPCs in the book
*You know that nimblewright that throws fireballs at Trollskull Manor? Our fighter actually managed to defeat it, which we're apparently not supposed to do
*We bought a nimblewright, which we also weren't supposed to do
*Jarlaxle was our villain, and he had us framed for money laundering and insurance fraud
*Then we went to court, which is where we fought the shoggoth in the stone
I think we were the talk of the store, based on how our DM the next season said "Oh, you're from the casino table..."
Is it just your gm thats a fan of Agatha Christie or is it the whole group?
In the last session of DnD I’ve played, I ate a Twig Blight.
Okay so my character chugged two gallons of beer the night prior of the encounter. So my player got hella waisted, but I didn’t vomit, and I didn’t wake up with a hangover, so I decided that my character lost a few brain cells due to the rapid consumption of alcohol.
Which then leads to the fight, which I rolled a one for encounters... which yeah.
Anyways the battle was against twelve of these bush things (Twig Blights) and I decided to be mice to them.
When one went up to attack me (and failing to land a hit) I gave it a hug.
It tried attacking me again, and still failed to hit me. (Basically I was terrorizing the damn thing)
My friend took it out of my arms because I refused to let go, and that took her whole turn. My turn was right after that.
I decided that keeping it as a pet would be hopeless, but I didn’t want to kill it in a normal fashion. That’s just lame.
So I eat it out of my friends hands.
The DM just kinda looked at me funnily, then he said he needed to do some research.
Idk what’s going to happen to my character.
What happened to 'im
" I got a riddle for you: How many of your fingers you want to keep attached!?"..
Instant like.
No need to roll Intimidation. If the DM feels it, it's an auto success. And that line permeates time and space.
Did you unlock the door?
Doesn't matter! That door is staying closed!
Me when people are visiting.
Yay! So happy for a new DnD video! :D Your videos are my favorite!
The more of your videos I watch, the more grateful I become for my group that actually sticks together and doesn't try TOO hard to destroy my plans...
Bad Cop: "I got a riddle, what has two arms, but-"
Good Cop: "Ooh, Ooh, I'm good at riddles, let me, let me! Hmm, 'what has two arms', I don't get it."
Bad Cop: "The question is for him." :point's-at-prisoner:
Good Cop: "Oh, it's just a question, never mind, I like riddles, not just plain old questions... go on."
Bad Cop: "Ugh. Ok, where was I. Oh yeah, right." :clears-throat:
Bad Cop: "What has two arms-"
Good Cop: "Oh, I get it, it's him, right? I know it's gonna be him. Am I right? Am I right?"
Bad Cop: "You are ruining my moment. This, here, this isn't working. Go over there, eat a donut or something."
Good Cop: :munching-on-a-donut:
Bad Cop: "What has-"
Good Cop: :cough-cough-wheeze-cough:
Bad Cop: :looks-down: :shakes-head:
Good Cop: "Sorry, I choked on the donut. Keep going."
Bad Cop: :silence:
Bad Cop: :looks-back-at-prisoner:
Bad Cop: :talking-really-fast: "Whathastwoarmsbutonlyneedsone?"
Prisoner: "What? That was too fast, I didn't catch all of that"
Good Cop: "Me neither."
Bad Cop: :scowls-at-good-cop:
Good Cop: :eyes-get-big: :takes-a-step-back:
Bad Cop: "What has two arms but only needs one?"
:silence:
Prisoner: "I don't know, a river or something, I don't really get the-"
Bad Cop: "YOU! I mean you!" :mumbles: "idiot"
Prisoner: "Oh. I thought it was a metaphor or something. I thought a riddle was usually non-literal. You know, like an analogy, or-"
Bad Cop: "Gahh!! I'm leaving!"
Good Cop: "Okay, now that he's gone, who wants a donut? Well maybe if I had some work to go do I wouldn't need these donuts and I could go do my job..."
Prisoner: "Ok, fine, get a pad and pen... ... There, that's all."
:good-cop-leaves:
Bad Cop: "I can't believe you got all that for just a few donuts."
Good Cop: "There weren't any donuts."
Bad Cop: "Then how'd you choke!?"
Good Cop: "I'm just a... :put's-on-sunglasses: really good cop..."
Players do what the DM wants? pfft who ever heard of that? My step-dad ran a game that he literally planned 1 month of adventure (real time) for each road out of town, he had 4 folders for 4 roads, we by some damn miracle decided to go chase the 5th road, a Death Knight, because apparently hero's rising from the grave and walking off was unheard of and we simply *HAD* to go investigate and make sure this well known hero rested in peace; he told us the rest of the session he had to wing it cause he had absolutely nothing planned, he even tried to suggest in game we not deviate from the 4 roads out of town... nope! off we go! 3 full sessions went by he had to keep winging it because we apparently were too dumb to take the main roads, so he had to build his game around our dumb luck and insistence on taking this really bad idea path.
8:09
Dora: Hello every one, should we trust the clown,
*silence*
Got it, dont trust the clown
Goddamn I love your abalyth voice acting. 11/10 would listen to a novel read that way!
Puffins videos are a curse and a blessing. Whenever a new video is out I’m excited, but also sad because now the wait beings again
A goldfish could live for decades, but average is like 2-6 years, but 20 years is common in ponds.
Durnan is awesome because he's:
Spoilers ahead
Leader of the Red Sashes
Former Hidden Lord of Waterdeep
Probably Immortal (Definitely)
Keeper of Undermountain
Seriously Badass Barkeeper
Seriously hates *EVIL*
And many more
@@finnj.1786 What are you talking about im not Mirt...
If you dont take this pouch of 100000 Gold I will hunt you down
I loved the crazy beholder. They actually had it in the old Dungeons and Dragons comic book.
One of your best yet puffin, that animation of the clown getting yanked into the alley was golden.
8:25 "I've got another riddle for you: *flip* How fingers of yours do you want to keep attached?"
6:00
Goldfish actually have a relatively long life expectancy. They can live for 25 years in the wild and the oldest ever captive goldfish lived to be 43. Usually, however, in captivity, goldfish only live from 5 to 10 years.
This is often because of the poor conditions people keep them in. Goldfish can reach a size of 30 cm and sometimes get even better. When kept in a bowl, they're not given room to grow, which can cause health issues. Bowls are also really terrible at oxygen exchange; they don't have a filter (and goldfish produce a lot of waste). There's no heating equipment for bowls and often very little stimulation or enrichment for the fish.
(The 3 second memory is a myth, by the way. Goldfish can be trained to jump or swim through hoops and other interesting tricks)
Recommended tank size is 20 gallons to start and +10 gallons per fish (according to Google)
So, yeah. Xanathar sucks.
One other GM being Chadwick Strongpants?!?! How legendary!
I like that.
Me:I lock pick the door.
Gm: you see a humanoid with tenti
Me:I close the door and proceed to reverse lock pick the door
So beholders are racist mofos and will enslave their own kind over tiny 'imperfections', but I think it's kind of cute one has a goldfish for a pet. My issue is, as observant as Beholders are, it must be really difficult to trick one into thinking he has only one goldfish by finding one that looks EXACTLY the same.
he just doesn´t want to deal with reality
There is also an official guild fishkeeper named Ott Steeltoes, who's job is to take care of Sylgar and make sure Xanathar doesn't find out when Sylgar dies while finding the replacement.
I like the goldfish bit. I love when enemies and players have quirks. Like a secret Achilles heel, even better if it factors into their backstory.
Kinda dark, but I thought about Ellen’s fear of the color yellow in “I have no mouth and I must scream”. Adds an extra element to the puzzles, and the reason she hates yellow is heartbreaking.
I legit started cackling like a super-pleased swamp hag when they immediately closed the door after half of the first sentence.
9:05 that's supposed to be the moment you decide that for... No real reason... The Mind flayer decides that he's going to "go for a walk" through that door, SOOOOO INEXPLICABLY~
Or, ya know... TELEPORT AWAY like it's supposed to.
Daras Thrae where’s the fun in that?
Well, Mind Flayers hate conflict so I bought the exit when I played. Was sad he left so quickly, though. :(
@@jillmo6458 How do you buy an exit? :/
Goldfish can actually live as long as a cat, if the beholder truly loved his fish, he would have done his research. Boooo!!!!
Where exactly would a beholder find that information in a medieval Europe-esque setting let alone find proper filters?
@@mathybrain8 dude, its dnd. One word to solve filtration issue...magic. there is zero reason why a dnd goldfish should not outlive a real goldfish.
They might be dying because he keeps them in a bowl. They can grow way too big to live in a bowl, so eventually it becomes uninhabitable and they die.
Idk about you, but I doubt many people would wanna correct him on his fish care techniques.
@@NoArtisticLimitation dont phrase it as a "you're doing this wrong" phrase it as helpful advise like the smart pc you are
Gold fish can go to 15 years, and to 40 if the owner is an expert with fish.
I have a friend who had a goldfish that he won in a carnival and it lasted for 6 years, sadly the fish died
@@axolotlife677 make sense carnival fish die pretty fast
But that fish lived past many other carnival fish
true but same problem stays; Beholders last for centuries
@@davidlewis5312 Also the beholder is just a head. How is he suppose to take care of a fish?
Thanks for making this episode. The story of the swashbuckling mindflayer inspired an NPC in my ongoing game who turned out to be extremely popular with my players.
When I ran this we all had proficiency in performance and wrote a song about the goldfish and basically charmed our way into xanathars heart
The oldest goldfish ever recorded was 43 years old.
I doubt Xanathar takes very good care of the Goldfish. I know he loves it, but I suspect he wouldn’t have listened even if his lieutenants had the guts to explain to him how to properly care for a Goldfish. Things like not over feeding it, getting it the right food, keeping the water well oxygenated and the right temperature, keeping the bowl clean, etc.
How do we know it just wasn't constantly being replaced by look-alike goldfish? :)
Plot twist they actually switched the gold fish out every few years
Never heard of such a powerful barkeep but knowing my party they would be dead 10 times over busting throug walls starting fights
Then again it is a bar specifically for heroes so he should be a boss
Durnan is a badass.
yes but this is Durman the bartender from THEEE yawning portal he is a legend.
There is the Wench from the Red Dragon Inn, apparently she can cut a swath.
You have be never read the king killer chronicles
wait is that the aboleth from tomb of anhilation?!?!
I mean like he did do the same voice so?
It would be an amazing twist.
Yes.
His name is Whimsy.
??? INSIGHT CHECK!
Roll Chance for Whimsey or Murder Aboleth.
Fun fact: Goldfish live 5-to-10 years on average, with the record for goldfish lifespan being 48 years.
So that 1-2 goldfish just for a middle aged elf then.
@@peterwindhorst5775 Elven goldfish
I read part of Xanthar's guide and it talked about not changing fish water and the fish is fine, and we didn't do anything and you know what, don't even mention it. Or us.
And now I get it.