Sara tapped her pencil on the dark mahogany wood of the conference table, her eyes staring straight at the white board and clock ticking second by second above it. All had been going fine and well this morning; picking up her dog's awful little present in the kitchen, racing Jaxon to school before detouring to work, having to smile at the security guard in the lobby with that awful dill pickle smell as she speed-walked by, until she got to her cubicle throwing her jacket over the back of her chair. She hadn't had any time to make a tweet yet, the creative wit of Wendy's roasts not giving her the muse she needed to face the music that morning. She'd sat down in front of her computer, ready to scour the usual morning emails, memos, and advertising strategies when her boss tapped on her on the shoulder to call everyone in for an emergency meeting. Oh no she thought, they've reviewed the time stamps, I knew this new job was too good to be true! Silently the employees filed in through the front door one by one, each unsure of what this emergency meeting was about. They eyed each other carefully, wondering who among them might know the true meaning of this change from the norm. "Good morning everybody," David announced, clapping his hands. "As I'm sure you're aware, our marketing strategy of using twitter has been going awesome lately -- " wait what? Sara thought she was the one in charge that morning. "It seems last night Joe came up with an awesome marketing strategy" Of course, Sara thought, narrowing her eyes. Perfect Joe. Ever since she'd started working at this office all he ever seemed to do was be out to one-up her. Yes, that type. The type with the ambitious air and know-it-all stare. How come he was getting the spotlight? "Asking our customers for roasts, we're all the public is talking about now! McDonalds didn't even have time to clap-back-- we have to figure out a way that'll really knock 'em out of the park to show these young teenyboppers what we're made of. Let's get creative folks! I was just thinking of creative ways to increase customer engagement when we got an idea from one of the higher ups--" Wow, that was serious stuff there, word from branches in corporate must have traveled quickly. She wondered what could possibly warrant a call or idea from another corporate level employee, not expecting for a second to hear what came out next. "Does anybody know what this w-w-aatt, wattaboard, no that wasn't it..." "Sir do you mean wattpad? The freelance website?" Joe queried. The website with freelance work that Jaxon was talking about? "Yes that's the one! They're taking off! I've just seen a brilliant tip from one of our employees! To increase customer engagement we thought we'd take advantage of some of our writers and creative types here in this office by asking anyone who was willing if they could lead a team to write some stories centered on new drinks we'll be releasing shortly! Of course whoever is up to the task should know that the company has offered to make them eligible for the company's annual bonus!" Sara's eyes flashed to Joe, her mind thinking back to Jaxon and the new shoes she'd seen him eyeing at the store. Sara left up from her chair, taking everybody's attention by storm. "I'll do it!" She shouted, Joe shooting sideline glares as David, smiling big bright and wide glanced at the rest of the team, "Great initiative Sara! Now," He turned to the white board, an excited smirk on his face, "What's your story idea about?" And with that they were off.
That was my thought too! Like someone is getting paid to write these! Imagine someone asking what you do and you say you’re a writer and they ask what you write and you have to tell them you write for the Wendy’s wattpad account lmao.
Probably Slim Jim. It seems like he's locked into their route since he got the DM cutscene with them. Plus it's kinda the canon route, so if you don't heavily try to go for another it will probably sort the player into the Slim Jim route. It's a good thing it's my favorite story line! Slim Jim is ✨best girl✨❤
Then we need to do like Tumblr did to Denny's, destroy them with memes about how their CEO's are capitalist running dogs whose collective wealth needs to be seized and redistributed to the people.
honestly the kfc dating sim is low-key amazing. i have been following the illustrator before they were hired to do the art for the game and it seems like they were treated and paid well, and they had fun doing the work, and the game has some cute and semi funny stuff in it! still very weird. obviously. and i don’t really care for kfc. but for a free game that’s essentially an advertisement it’s surprisingly high quality and entertaining lollll (better than the mario lopez lifetime movie anyway)
The tiktok thing is so weird because now brands are trying to get employees to make tiktoks for marketing. but when employees were actually sharing aspects of their jobs because they genuinely enjoy it and wanted to share that with their followers, people were getting fired for it.
Ironically Sherwin Williams fired a guy for even suggesting the idea. Apparently they didn't like him 'wasting company time and resources' even though he bought the paints he didn't mix for customers himself and did some some of the work on his off time. He had his entire TikTok account set up for it, and SW just smacked it down. Considering my husband used to work for them, it doesn't shock me. >.>
Literally looking for internship jobs and a lot of brands are looking for people to do every social media thing ever, including Instagram and Tik Tok. One brand even wanted someone who could make "dank memes". It's crazy.
I was looking away when he started reading the Wendy’s wattpad and when he said “Courtney Craig” I 100% miss heard it as HORNY Craig and i was very taken aback 😭
If I had to sum up this video in a single sentence it would be: Jarvis having an existential crisis while simultaneously simping for anime Colonel Sanders for 16 (not so straight) minutes
“We use square patties so they hang over the bun, and the people like that” -Dave himself, founder of Wendy’s. Also why does Van Van look like a Jojo Character
Wait but I don’t like that. It’s actually super annoying. Just make it fit the freaking bun like everyone else. You’re Wendy’s - no one wants “different” they want “cheap” and “passable.” Perhaps “edible.” No one gives a darn.
Honestly, on this topic, the longest, most beautiful, luscious eyelashes I've ever seen belonged to an old college lab partner of mine. He probably got a little weirded out during labs because I probably stared at his eyelashes/into his eyes a little too long and a little too often because of how luscious they were. I swear some men have eyelashes for dayyys.
@@J4ygotskrilla jarvis mentions how they use bright red, which is their branding and they write text regarding a delay on that brand that matches the colour. If you look at Cyberpunk 2077's delays they're yellow like their branding and they had to move their release date to dec 10th, which is one day after when KFC said they had to "move" their release day
The emotional tug-a-war of “this is a soulless company trying to get your money” and “this is a regular person running the account” is stressful. I heard that the younger generation is the most mentally ill and depressed in modern history, so seeing a brand trying to connect with that, humanizing their brand, in effort to get us to spend more and more money is sick. But on the other hand, those young people are running the accounts, and may genuinely be struggling. I hate these blurry lines, they are hurting my eyes and my mind
easy, brand = bad. the person behind the account might be real but its not who they are, its their job. they're doing this because a 60yo boomer company ceo told them to. if you want to connect with a person, go on their personal account
@Maisie Crookston Screaming Through Time: (walking into office) Hi I’m here for the interview? Manager: great, why don’t you sit dow- Screaming: DORA LOOKED LONGINGLY INTO DIEGO’S EYES. ‘ITS WRONG, WE’RE COUSINS’...
If we made tik-toks at my last job at an auto parts store, we would have intentionally embarrassed the company so much that their profits would've taken a hit. Me and pretty much all my coworkers were pretty transparent about how shitty the company is. Which made the customers like us more.
@@extrnalsorce4974 Tumblr's ads will basically just be something like the following: a low resolution picture of a pebble with the title "Brazilian Pizza Farms?" then the subtitle will just be a keyboard smash. I am not exaggerating
Omg! The uno bit sent me. You were like "don't tell me what to do!" And in my head I thought "missed opportunity to say do-no" and you came right back with the "don't tell me what to do-no" and I'm truly grateful you made that joke! My guy!
@Yeetus Defeetus that intern also probably isn’t paid enough and yet is tasked with the thankless job of pandering to internet people™. Isn’t late-stage capitalism ironic?
@Yeetus Defeetus No one is attacking the intern, my guy. Very clearly OP is talking about the company which requires interns to put on a façade while simultaneously fucking themselves up the ass. Maybe give people the benefit of the doubt.
@@rVnsunshine What do you mean thankless? Ah yes the person running an account deserves thousands of accolades. How do you even know what these people are being paid?
@@spiplayrojo4745 wait... that’s relatable. If you follow my thought process here... not having memes is a meme in and of itself. We have out memed the very nature of memes. It’s a meme paradox and now we can’t escape.
I know it’s artificial as hell, but I can’t get myself to hate it. I prefer it to brands being overly formal and professional. I also like the idea that they’re hiring memelords to run their Twitter. That gives me a spark of joy.
I thought your name was oreo (there's a joke about brands in that thought) but it's cooler than that anyway your pfp is amazing. The style and the colors pop.
I'm waiting to see a Truman Show situation with the brands, they raise an orphan as the face of the brand, his name is the brand, he lives his life believing he is the brand, it's his whole world.
Do you mean they're more sympathetic in ff than towards their employees, or wendy's has more sympathy than their employees. As in, the employees are assholes. Because the way you worded that is a bit off
I'm hoping whoever runs the slim jim account was just like "Damn, I love Jarvis, I wish there was a way for him to actually read how much I love thid video.... WAIT"
Thanks again to Simplisafe for sponsoring. Check out simplisafe.com/jarvis to support the channel :)
Fist reply also hi
Yo
Here so quick man
Liked the vid bro keep it up
Silence Brand
Imagine being on the marketing team for Wendy’s and you’re tasked with writing Wattpad stories to earn your income and support your livelihood
I imagine they commission freelance writers to do it. Same with the KFC dating sim.
sounds like my kinda job
@@vanillabatbones damn, same, someone sign me up
Sara tapped her pencil on the dark mahogany wood of the conference table, her eyes staring straight at the white board and clock ticking second by second above it. All had been going fine and well this morning; picking up her dog's awful little present in the kitchen, racing Jaxon to school before detouring to work, having to smile at the security guard in the lobby with that awful dill pickle smell as she speed-walked by, until she got to her cubicle throwing her jacket over the back of her chair. She hadn't had any time to make a tweet yet, the creative wit of Wendy's roasts not giving her the muse she needed to face the music that morning. She'd sat down in front of her computer, ready to scour the usual morning emails, memos, and advertising strategies when her boss tapped on her on the shoulder to call everyone in for an emergency meeting. Oh no she thought, they've reviewed the time stamps, I knew this new job was too good to be true! Silently the employees filed in through the front door one by one, each unsure of what this emergency meeting was about. They eyed each other carefully, wondering who among them might know the true meaning of this change from the norm. "Good morning everybody," David announced, clapping his hands. "As I'm sure you're aware, our marketing strategy of using twitter has been going awesome lately -- " wait what? Sara thought she was the one in charge that morning. "It seems last night Joe came up with an awesome marketing strategy" Of course, Sara thought, narrowing her eyes. Perfect Joe. Ever since she'd started working at this office all he ever seemed to do was be out to one-up her. Yes, that type. The type with the ambitious air and know-it-all stare. How come he was getting the spotlight? "Asking our customers for roasts, we're all the public is talking about now! McDonalds didn't even have time to clap-back-- we have to figure out a way that'll really knock 'em out of the park to show these young teenyboppers what we're made of. Let's get creative folks! I was just thinking of creative ways to increase customer engagement when we got an idea from one of the higher ups--" Wow, that was serious stuff there, word from branches in corporate must have traveled quickly. She wondered what could possibly warrant a call or idea from another corporate level employee, not expecting for a second to hear what came out next. "Does anybody know what this w-w-aatt, wattaboard, no that wasn't it..." "Sir do you mean wattpad? The freelance website?" Joe queried. The website with freelance work that Jaxon was talking about? "Yes that's the one! They're taking off! I've just seen a brilliant tip from one of our employees! To increase customer engagement we thought we'd take advantage of some of our writers and creative types here in this office by asking anyone who was willing if they could lead a team to write some stories centered on new drinks we'll be releasing shortly! Of course whoever is up to the task should know that the company has offered to make them eligible for the company's annual bonus!" Sara's eyes flashed to Joe, her mind thinking back to Jaxon and the new shoes she'd seen him eyeing at the store. Sara left up from her chair, taking everybody's attention by storm. "I'll do it!" She shouted, Joe shooting sideline glares as David, smiling big bright and wide glanced at the rest of the team, "Great initiative Sara! Now," He turned to the white board, an excited smirk on his face, "What's your story idea about?" And with that they were off.
That was my thought too! Like someone is getting paid to write these! Imagine someone asking what you do and you say you’re a writer and they ask what you write and you have to tell them you write for the Wendy’s wattpad account lmao.
"Wendy's wattpad account" sounds like something I'd only hear in a dream
I think you mean 'nightmare'
@@cassuttustshirt4949 I think you mean the best dream of my life
What if you had a friend called Wendy who likes Wattpad?
@@butters643 yes
wake up, bro wake up
Alt title: Jarvis is desperately trying not to flirt with these brands for 16 minutes
2020 has us all a little lonely
@@williehornung please touch some grass😭
Alt title: everything the OP just said + ... and fails miserably
He was not avoiding Zaxchys when he said he was dtf
"it is weird to be having a conversation with a beef snack..."
--says a beef snack
😳
Hey... Good job.
AYYYYYY
Nice one 😏
Sus...
If you’re not in the next KFC dating sim game we’re rioting.
periodt😌✨
lol
If you don't play it, we are rioting
I'll join
ua-cam.com/video/xuFIO6xVE9M/v-deo.html
Jarvis is in a dating sim where the only options are brands. Who will he choose? Slim jim? The other one?
Probably Slim Jim. It seems like he's locked into their route since he got the DM cutscene with them. Plus it's kinda the canon route, so if you don't heavily try to go for another it will probably sort the player into the Slim Jim route. It's a good thing it's my favorite story line! Slim Jim is ✨best girl✨❤
@@crummycreator5548 Agreed. Slim Jim is waifu
Depends. He might go with KFC if it’s represented by hot husbando Colonel Sanders
please someone make this
Someone write a fanfic
Thank GOD the KFC Console will be available before Christmas...
harmbudrlerd
💀💀
right after Cyberpunk releases. bad timing for them
I will never forgive kfc
That’s the ultimate ‘hey son, we couldn’t get a ps5, but this is just as good, right?
r i g h t ?’
I'm gonna start calling Wendy's marketing strategy "Chaotic Corporatism"
“Relatable Capitalism”
Lol
"Manufactured Authenticity"
I think kfc would be chaotic marketing, Wendy's is just relatable marketing
@@DDub04 the term most leftys use is actually "Rainbow Capitalism"
Brands really trying to get what Dennys Tumblr created. Pathetic.
The blueprint^
denny's tumblr was the best and only one
This has nothing to do with your comment but I haven't seen a detective conan pfp in a while 👁👁
Then we need to do like Tumblr did to Denny's, destroy them with memes about how their CEO's are capitalist running dogs whose collective wealth needs to be seized and redistributed to the people.
nothing can compare with the alien nature of denny's tumblr
Fun fact: Slim Jim's full name is Slimothy James.
Slimothy Jimothy
slimothy jimothy
Slimothée Jalamet ✨
@@mybeansarecooler that's it. this is the best one
Omg slimothy XD
Jarvis: "I am being bullied.... So do your part."
Me: *begins bullying Jarvis*
Ok.
HA JARVIS HAS A RUBIX CUBE SHIRT AND WAS HEARING GLASSES SO HES A NERD
Jarvis pee pee poo poo
There
I'll hold him down, you get some swings in. Swirly is scheduled for 3:30 in the out of order toilet.
hes NEEEEEERD
@@yoyohayli kk
Slim Jim x Jarvis Johnson x Colonel Sanders, a Wattpad fanfiction
We need to make this happen people
hire the wendy’s people to write it
@@ceebadoobee on it
(should I actually write it orrr..👀)
Wendys YES PLEASE
@@ceebadoobee ight
@@guyfieri4017 drop the title when its done? I def wanna check that out lmao
the guy who runs the slim jim account is actually pretty cool, i’ll literally *never* eat a slim jim but he does good work
@@gangmaki he is doing his best leave him alone
the original guy actually passed away tragically earlier this year, his name was andy hines
@@simiancarroll5167 as long as i expressed my thoughts with respect i dont really see the need for you to tell me so
Ok what is wrong with u why wouldn’t u eat the meaty stick of goodness what the heck
I was 400th like
anyone else remember when Wendys dropped a mixtape coming after other fast food companys... or was that some weird fever dream i had
oh god not the MIXTAPE
if it wasn't true maybe it was our collective fever dream
@@emilj5143 mandela effect watching us: i wanted to see if i was powerful enough to twist their minds
God I remember the Wendy’s rpg, that was ... interesting.
there was a hamburger helper mixtape too
Food brand games in 1996: "Let's put a Doom clone in kids' cereal!"
Food brand games in 2020: "Oh, Colonel senpai!"
Colonial.
@@1999colebug Lol yay autocorrect.
i read this twice because i thought nothing was wrong with it. theyve broken me. the brands have broken me
For real though, Chex Quest was awesome.
honestly the kfc dating sim is low-key amazing. i have been following the illustrator before they were hired to do the art for the game and it seems like they were treated and paid well, and they had fun doing the work, and the game has some cute and semi funny stuff in it! still very weird. obviously. and i don’t really care for kfc. but for a free game that’s essentially an advertisement it’s surprisingly high quality and entertaining lollll (better than the mario lopez lifetime movie anyway)
Next dating sim: Jarvis at company high, following the trope of “girl at all boys school”, but with a non company at a company’s school
Hey, come on. It was a Hallmark movie, not Lifetime.
also the vanvan guy at 11:37 looked like something straight from jojos bizarre adventure
There is nothing funnier in all of brand Twitter than “chicken chamber”
Quoth the Sanders, “ c h i c k e n c h a m b e r ”
That's it, you're going to the *Chicken Chamber*
Damn, guess KFC is taking design advice from 1940’s Germany
most importantly of course
*uh oh, you did an oopsie! into the chicken chamber with you*
Why does this feel like the Subway bit from Community has leaked into reality?
Meppity THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING
OMG SAME
Okay but also like that whole bit in community about KFC where they made that space simulator- like that has to be next right?
@@karyssa5 omg so true
@@karyssa5 The KFC game console sounds pretty similar to it so maybe that will be part of the game 😂
bruh the wendy's wattpad is getting so much attention. this is your fault, Jarvis.
@moi is me *JARVIS IS TRYING HIS* _VERY_ *BEST*
That sentence has probably never said before
That’s good right?
RIGHT?
@@guyfieri4017 #WendysWorldDomination2021 🤗
Imagine the guy who runs slim jim thought he was using his personal when he DMd u
to be fair the guy who runs it uses it pretty much like a personal either way
@@copperqueen1816 yikes
The tiktok thing is so weird because now brands are trying to get employees to make tiktoks for marketing. but when employees were actually sharing aspects of their jobs because they genuinely enjoy it and wanted to share that with their followers, people were getting fired for it.
Ironically Sherwin Williams fired a guy for even suggesting the idea. Apparently they didn't like him 'wasting company time and resources' even though he bought the paints he didn't mix for customers himself and did some some of the work on his off time. He had his entire TikTok account set up for it, and SW just smacked it down. Considering my husband used to work for them, it doesn't shock me. >.>
Literally looking for internship jobs and a lot of brands are looking for people to do every social media thing ever, including Instagram and Tik Tok. One brand even wanted someone who could make "dank memes". It's crazy.
That's capitalism for you
I love how no ones talking about Wendy’s writing Jarvis and SlimJim fanfic.
writing what
Jarvis needs to read that on the channel, and if he doesn't? We riot
pardon
Wait is that real because then I need to start my wattpad account up again
seriously???
I think Wendy's actually hired a 16 year old to write their stories on wattpad.
that writing is way too good for wattpad tbh so I could see it
I know and I actually love it. It’s so ridiculous it’s great
no i did it myself
If they did, at least that little writer got paid.
How many of the social media interns posting as these companies are genuine 22 year old Jarvis fans taking their shot lol
I never thought about it that way, but that is a good theory and I’m now wondering.
I believe Wendy’s started the whole twitter thing and every other brand decided to jump on making it less cool and more annoying
Denny’s was on tumblr a while back which I believe started it
slim jim has a whole fucked up meme page, and has had it for a while
It wasn't cool. Ever. Nobody ruined it Wendys was annoying from the very beginning.
I always find it super funny when brands do this. I know I’m feeding into it, but it’s exactly the nonsensical ridiculous crap that is my humour
Ikr i hate followers 🤢
Imagine being so popular SLIM JIM texts you like they’re your friend
Too bad their products are shit
@@marvthemartian001 eh, they’re ok
@@ianowens1905 if someone gave me a slim jim i'd be grateful but a little puzzled
@@swampman420 me too
Jarvis should start referring to them as Slim James
I was looking away when he started reading the Wendy’s wattpad and when he said “Courtney Craig” I 100% miss heard it as HORNY Craig and i was very taken aback 😭
ME TOO XD
Sameeee oof
What I thought it was horny Craig
I thought it was corny craig
ME TOO DUDE
I really love how kum & go just responded with "kum & go"
go & go
kum & kum
go & kum
& kum go
shoot n' scoot
Jarvis x slim jim wendy's needs to write fanfics about this
"Surely there's a person who runs that account..."
No, Jarvis. The online brand accounds have become sentient 😨
Someone needs to warn Jarvis about this, otherwise he likely won’t see, it will be too late by then.
@@dustind6102 On it!
If I had to sum up this video in a single sentence it would be: Jarvis having an existential crisis while simultaneously simping for anime Colonel Sanders for 16 (not so straight) minutes
LMAO, perfectly said my guy
"16 NOT SO STRAIGHT" LMAOO
A perfect comment doesn't exi-
“We use square patties so they hang over the bun, and the people like that”
-Dave himself, founder of Wendy’s.
Also why does Van Van look like a Jojo Character
Insert Jojo copypasta here
Huh. He does lol
are you deadass goningto ignore how Aeshleigh is spelled
i think thats the point
Wait but I don’t like that. It’s actually super annoying. Just make it fit the freaking bun like everyone else. You’re Wendy’s - no one wants “different” they want “cheap” and “passable.” Perhaps “edible.” No one gives a darn.
Imagine waking up and looking in your DMs only to find Ronald McDonald saying “Hey big boy”
I've had nightmares like this for years
NO-
Um
jail is over there, onii chan
Uno: tells us how to play their game
Everyone else: shut up what do you know
Not me people need to learn the rules or leave
@@thewanderingassassinlk3136 you will likely end up playing alone...
Do you mean... what do youno
@@audreyloomis526 shut the hell up im keying your car
@@dinodoestuff no ❤️
It's absolutely fascinating to watch but also that entire segment about colonel sanders?... well....
👀 ya know what I'm saying...
Bruh
SHEN NOOOO!! Nananznxnj
lmaoo
Two of my favorite UA-camrs, wonderful
Oh shit i forgot about you shenpai i need to watch your videos again lol
Still can't believe this all happened because of the Sonic the Hedgehog Twitter account deciding to pretty much exclusively post Sanic memes lol
Lol
I thought it was because of the Denny’s tumblr?
@@MilqueeWayGaming omg not Denny’s tumblr-
The amount of tension between Colonel Sanders and Jarvis is immaculate
I know this has literally nothing to do with the topic at hand, but Jarvis' eyelashes looked really pretty in this video
YOOOO youre also a carter, whats up!
OMG U RIGHT!!!!! hes a pretty boy
@@lilcarttheoneandonly YOOOOO
Honestly, on this topic, the longest, most beautiful, luscious eyelashes I've ever seen belonged to an old college lab partner of mine. He probably got a little weirded out during labs because I probably stared at his eyelashes/into his eyes a little too long and a little too often because of how luscious they were.
I swear some men have eyelashes for dayyys.
@@mrahzzz You, comrade, are incredibly valid
Potbelly: this is Jarvis's fault
Jarvis's fans: *JARVIS IS TRYING HIS BEST*
xD
He's trying his breast, cut him some slack.
Crying his best
Lying he's dressed
(just running with the sexy brands theme)
Hey Jarvis did you know home depot also has a wattpad account and reads southpark fanfics
wait what
@@nariaein yup
THE FUCK
wait-
Lmao south park is so specific
13:00 theyre literally making fun of cyberpunk 2077 LOL you missed that Jarvis
How?
@@J4ygotskrilla jarvis mentions how they use bright red, which is their branding and they write text regarding a delay on that brand that matches the colour. If you look at Cyberpunk 2077's delays they're yellow like their branding and they had to move their release date to dec 10th, which is one day after when KFC said they had to "move" their release day
Oh ok
@@J4ygotskrilla it's also pretty on par with CD red's cyberpunk message in wording too lol. I couldn't help but laugh
I think a better time stamp would be around 12:30 jsyk :)
I'm just here to boost that algorithm to help my boy Jarvis thrive
do replies help?
cause like
ill make a whole thread to help our boy
you know cause our boy is da man
and also whats up with butter on pancakes who thought of that?
KFC has a romance novel too. It's called Tender Wings of Desire. Do with this information what you will.
oh
Um. Ok.
Gotta link?
Asking for a friend.
great, now I will be spending my afternoon reading 'Tender Wings of Desire' by KFC.
Take a shot every time Jarvis says “bRaNdS aRe JuSt LiKe uS”
I'm try not to die from alcohol poison
Idk why I thought screenshot
@@kathansen6995 Lmao same
"why is everyone addressed by their first and last name"
-Jarvis Johnson
J. Jonah Jameson Jr. is rolling in his grave
@PestoMayo hey Pesto Mayo
I think it's a french thing
@PestoMayo I am one of those kids
Some people missed the joke in this comment lol
Jarvis did you make this whole video because you were sad about the hat
feels good to be youe 400th l i k e
feels good to be youe 474th l i k e
Feels good to be your 513th l i k e
feels good to be youe 550th l i k e
feels good to be youe 555th l i k e
KFC is just vibing on a whole other plane of existence at this point
The emotional tug-a-war of “this is a soulless company trying to get your money” and “this is a regular person running the account” is stressful. I heard that the younger generation is the most mentally ill and depressed in modern history, so seeing a brand trying to connect with that, humanizing their brand, in effort to get us to spend more and more money is sick. But on the other hand, those young people are running the accounts, and may genuinely be struggling. I hate these blurry lines, they are hurting my eyes and my mind
easy, brand = bad. the person behind the account might be real but its not who they are, its their job. they're doing this because a 60yo boomer company ceo told them to. if you want to connect with a person, go on their personal account
@@mintsmooth860 so real
I’ve played the Kfc dating sim before it is actually kinda fun especially if you play it with friends and give the characters voices.
P-Kentucky
S-Fried
5-Console
N-N-NANIII!?
ANNNNDDD WE HAVE A WINNER
You'll never believe the best conspiracy theory yet!...
YOU CRACKED THE CODE
@@hihigh6814 KFC seized the ps5 orders
cant wait to get a job as a wendy's fanfic writer
@Maisie Crookston
Screaming Through Time: (walking into office) Hi I’m here for the interview?
Manager: great, why don’t you sit dow-
Screaming: DORA LOOKED LONGINGLY INTO DIEGO’S EYES. ‘ITS WRONG, WE’RE COUSINS’...
@@aidenhoogstra8636 oh pls no no no
@@aidenhoogstra8636 OH I SEE
that episode of Community where Subway was a person turned out to be weirdly prophetic
To be fair that wendy's wattpad fic is exactly what wattpad fics are like
If we made tik-toks at my last job at an auto parts store, we would have intentionally embarrassed the company so much that their profits would've taken a hit. Me and pretty much all my coworkers were pretty transparent about how shitty the company is. Which made the customers like us more.
I think Making Tik Toks at an auto part is already weird
Brands are just like us. They want to date Jarvis Johnson j/
wdym j/
Yes.
/j* sorry if i come of rude btw
@@skeletonman1126 /j stands for joke (they did it backwards lol)
Yes
"brands are inescapable" ok but have you seen Tumblr? Idk who tf is putting ads on there but it sure as hell isn't Wendy's 😭
I don’t know what this implies, but I don’t like it
@@extrnalsorce4974 Tumblr's ads will basically just be something like the following: a low resolution picture of a pebble with the title "Brazilian Pizza Farms?" then the subtitle will just be a keyboard smash. I am not exaggerating
@@Iron_Stigmata Sounds like heaven and hell
@@extrnalsorce4974 It fits the chaos of my dashboard very well ngl. Sometimes there will be ads I mistake as shitposts
Denny’s scares me
Omg! The uno bit sent me. You were like "don't tell me what to do!" And in my head I thought "missed opportunity to say do-no" and you came right back with the "don't tell me what to do-no" and I'm truly grateful you made that joke! My guy!
Brands in your comments and DMs? Weird.
hi, I guess I'm first
lemme get a discount code tho
Do you guys sell peanut butter?
SILENCE, BRAND
eye-
The purple mattress brand-
The sentence Snoops dogg’s fridge has a red ring of death made me feel feelings I don’t understand
I can't believe Jarvis leaked his DM's with Steak-Ems
smh my head
@@jaazyburt2151 LMAOOO
@@jaazyburt2151 plsss
KFConsole resceduled to December 11th!?
Now the question is whether Cyberpunk will be a launch title
Play cyberpunk 2077 with one hand and eat your broasted chicken with the other.
bruh Community predicted this. Subway was given a human form and now it's happening. Prepare yourselves
You should do one of these and compare their brand personalities to how the brand actually behaved.
Don't take a shot every time he says "brand" because your liver deserves better
Thank you my friend
You should talk with Sarah Schauer, she used to do the Denny's account and so she might have an interesting in on how these brand accounts work.
The one on Tumblr that started it all?
@@reaganrambles1951 tbh not to sure, she has her own website with her credentials though, she did some really iconic stuff.
Wait I didn’t know she used to run a brand account lol
oh shit that was her?? i remember it was such a huge meme on tumblr lmao never knew that tho
I feel like this video is just Jarvis having an existential crisis
As avid Velveeta eaters.. yes it _is_ liquid gold.
@PestoMayo please say sike 💀
Its them! :0
Explains why it looks and tastes like something you shouldn't eat.
Do you both write the comment? or does one of you use the royal we?
@@keatonhare7691 we both have control of the account and both use _we_ bc of our channel name but right now it’s Robert
New game: “Was this tweet from a real person, or from a brand twitter account?”
Brands, using slave labor and paying people minimum wage: we're JUST like you!!! We love you! We're your friend!! 😌🤗✨
@Yeetus Defeetus that intern also probably isn’t paid enough and yet is tasked with the thankless job of pandering to internet people™. Isn’t late-stage capitalism ironic?
@@rVnsunshine Late stage? We’re just getting started
@Yeetus Defeetus No one is attacking the intern, my guy. Very clearly OP is talking about the company which requires interns to put on a façade while simultaneously fucking themselves up the ass. Maybe give people the benefit of the doubt.
@@rVnsunshine intern... getting paid? Ah yes paid interns
@@rVnsunshine
What do you mean thankless?
Ah yes the person running an account deserves thousands of accolades.
How do you even know what these people are being paid?
SLIMJIM CCCOMMENTS ON EVERY INSTA MEME I SEE AND IT SCARES ME
I have no memes
@@spiplayrojo4745 wait... that’s relatable. If you follow my thought process here... not having memes is a meme in and of itself. We have out memed the very nature of memes. It’s a meme paradox and now we can’t escape.
slim jim has good taste
That social media guy must be really bored or something.
Louis-Patrick Lauzon OMG UR PROFILE IS A FLAMINGO YASSSSSSS
“how do we quench you zaxby’s??”
i don’t know why but this sent me 😭
I know it’s artificial as hell, but I can’t get myself to hate it. I prefer it to brands being overly formal and professional.
I also like the idea that they’re hiring memelords to run their Twitter. That gives me a spark of joy.
I aspire to be a professional meme lord
brands literally talk “trendy language”. it’s so funny lolll
i fucking hate it for some reason it makes me extremely angry
@@mistydayremainsofthejudgment Probably because it's brands pretending to be relatable to get us to like them, and that's a bad thing.
Same, I think it's really cringy
I thought your name was oreo (there's a joke about brands in that thought) but it's cooler than that anyway your pfp is amazing. The style and the colors pop.
@Smykush Fixed
“brands suck”
“now a word from our sponsor”
Jarvis talking about how hot brands are and them hooking up
Jarvis’ GF: 👁👄👁
That's funny, he should've made a joke about that
Critically ask yourself Jarvis, are you a Brand or a person. Therein lies the answer to your questions about propagating advertisements.
Am I a braaand, or am I a person? (Am I a person?)
If I'm a person, I'm a very branded person
This man actually got flex tape to notice them. Actual legend
imagine the one intern somewhere who forgot to switch to their personal twitter and started this entire culture.
LOL :D :D :D
"little birds fiending for my clout breadcrumbs" is the most accurate way to describe the entirety of twitter I've ever heard
Every time I hear about brands in any capacity I always come back to that meme with the crab shooting the lasers and saying SILENCE B R A N D
I'm waiting to see a Truman Show situation with the brands, they raise an orphan as the face of the brand, his name is the brand, he lives his life believing he is the brand, it's his whole world.
Velveta: Eat liquid gold
what… like… oil?
do they just want me to eat crude oil or something
Yes
yes
Yes.
I think they just mean they want to give you a golden shower
mmmmmmmm
KFC has a romance novella "Tender Wings of Desire."
*Jarvis talking about how hot brands are and them hooking up*
Jarvis’ GF: 👁👄👁
I don't know about any one else but the 👁️👄👁️ face always makes me think of someone mouth breathing with no active thoughts in their head.
@@Jessafur same 👁👄👁
Well comes with that UA-cam grind 😎
👁👄👁 makes me think of the scene in clone high when cleo opened her eyes a lil too wide and her mouth was right at the same level it literally was 👁👄👁
“Society’s in dark mode!”
- Jarvis Johnson, 2020
“It actually makes me want to f*ck colonel sanders!”
-Jarvis Johnson, November 21, 2020
My DMs: *Empty and full of dust*
Jarvis' DMs: *Full of thirsty brands*
I don't mind the dust, idk how Jarvis manages to do it all and stay cool.
Come back next time to see “Which brand will Jarvis be f cking next?” !
Please keep making these videos, as someone who doesn’t tweet, you’re my main news source for all things bizarre on Twitter. 😎
Same
Same lol
Same lmao, I don't use twitter or tiktok, but I love hearing about the wild stuff that happens on both platforms
Between brands and pokemon dealers Jarvis just never gets any peace...
when is the wendy’s wattpad account writing that jarvis x slimjim fic?
Wait- w h a t
@@0CaptainZer0 Wendys has a Wattpad and they write the funniest shit. Go check it out if you haven't.
Hopefully soon but w h a t
I don’t have wattpad but I’ll write one in the replies if I remember
Exactly
well THAT escalated quickly
also why do I have a feeling its also going to involve zaxby's-
This has even more relevance now that Mario Lopez is playing Colonel Sanders in Lifetime's A Recipe for Seduction 😭
No one:
Big companies: Lets hire teens to make us look cool
Is it just me or are these jokes just stale now
@@niger216 It isn't just you
@@kingmankingboy8743 This is amazing on so many levels the best singers will tremble when they hear this. I see a future for you as a garbage man
When Wendy’s is more sympathetic in their fan-fictions than their own workers. From your friendly neighborhood Wendy’s employee
Do you mean they're more sympathetic in ff than towards their employees, or wendy's has more sympathy than their employees. As in, the employees are assholes. Because the way you worded that is a bit off
Imagine getting hired as the Wendy's fanfic writer
I'm hoping whoever runs the slim jim account was just like "Damn, I love Jarvis, I wish there was a way for him to actually read how much I love thid video.... WAIT"
Honestly, your discomfort is what keeps your integrity, and I don't know how long it takes to become comfortable with stuff like this.
Your pfp is amazing 😂 I was caught off guard (and am in agreement)
Petition for Jarvis to make a line of vests called trying my vest
Please
thats smart
Signed
"Oh, you don't like it when your food acts like a person??"
bagel bites supporting bts and chips ahoy stanning loona is the fever dream that i did not ask for... it's cute but why
Slim Jim is a real person. He’s a skinny guy named Jim
see and i would believe you