I am finally divorcing after 30 years. I am 61. I wish, I wish i had done it years earlier. I'm bitter about losing half my retirement to him because he refused to work full time or at all for 20 years. i will make it work because I don't want to live what time I have left in an empty marriage and my needs and wants have become much simpler!
That sounds like my husband. He died after 41 years of marriage. Til Death Do We Part is not always good advice. Sometimes leaving earlier is better, because life is a gift, not to waste. I live on my retirement, gov & S.S. because his was so low, I could not benefit from it. Key is not to become bitter with regrets. Be happy that you can move on out of a bad situation.
Good for you. I had the same experience and divorced at 56. Regretted I did not divorce at 46. I got happy and appreciated new relationships. My ex asked me what woman was I leaving her for. My truthful answer was every woman. I hope you find a better lifestyle with a little piece of happiness
Sabrina, I thought this was about letting grey hair grow out lol. I looked at your beautiful face and was frightened by your hair color. It looks as though you dye it. I dyed mine the same color. The doctor told me I had kidney cancer and removed it, and dying hair is one of the causes. Smoking, and I didn't, is the number one cause. Last week two non-invasive tumors were removed from my bladder. A doctor said hair stylists get bladder cancer more then other people too. I stayed in my marriage 41 years until death did we part. Life is a gift not to be wasted. I wish I had not wasted it with a disrespectful man, but today I am free regardless.
Splitting assets is understandable but being handed an open ended alimony obligation at age 60 is nuts. It means the payer may never be able to retire while the payee essentially is retiring from the marriage on an alimony pension.
I divorced at 60. I had a special need teen at home, had her at 42. I got no child support and finally finished paying my last alimony payment to him. Vastly unfair system. Men say they are the ones that get the shaft. Not true.
So what we are saying is somebody up in here gonna get the shaft ultimately. I say after age forty just so no to drugs and just say no to marriage. I am a widower of a 25 year great marriage but no way will I be married again. Too much risk involved. Good video.
The USDA Rural Development Home Loan supplements my house payment and I live in Northern Arizona (affordable). There are ways to beat the system and live affordably.
My husband and l separated after 28years. We live on the opposite side of our town. I have the house and pay for everything myself and he got to keep all his pension and annuities. It’s been six years, with absolutely no contact. Still legally married though. Neither one of us want to pay a lawyer for the divorce. Anyway, why bother. We are only married on paper.
doesn't want to travel/ nothing in common is so beign.....most of the time the woman has suffered emotionally physically etc..and endured years of neglect and says enough!
You can bet the man will get stuck with the big fat spousal support payment until either one dies. These lawyers will clean the old people's clock and fight. If it goes to trial it will cost $100,000. I feel so sorry for divorced people at 65.
Wrong. I was the primary earner and I had to buy my ex-husband out of the house I paid for. I mediated to avoid those lawyers fees. He found another woman far wealthier than me and lives in her big house. Men aren't the only ones who lose. I work a very challenging job at 62 and will have to do so until I'm 67.
Many people that stay at home to raise children, be a homemaker, etc. do so by choice - they don't 'have to' as the woman attorney states and they are not sacrificing any promising career. They simply prefer not to work (outside the home) because they find it easier and less stressful. Being a SAHM is a socially acceptable way to stay out of the workforce . There is nothing wrong with that decision but, like every other decision, it has its consequences. If a marriage doesn't work out, while there should be a fair distribution of assets accrued during the marriage, it is absurd to expect someone - and let's be honest, it's usually, though not always, the husband - to continue to support his former partner, a fully grown adult, as if that person is a child, for the rest of his life.
Then advocate for men to marry more career wices and also take part in domestic activities and child care at home. I can't be work 40hrs a week and still be expected to do most domestic chores... Lie lie. Not possible
I raised 11 kids and homeschooled them k-12. No way to have a "career" too. Got a pittance of spousal. He remarried a career woman whose 2 kids are druggie after being ignore their whole childhood. My kids are all successful, raising big families and homeschooling their kids. But my life work counts for nothing in society yet his new wife is a "success".
Divorce Is A Stupid Mistake For Thouse Of You Who Divorce You Are Not In A Healthy State Of Mind Your Mentel Status Is So Wrong Divorce Is Shameful And Downright Sinful I Hope And Pray You Get The Help Ypu Need . Malachi 2:16 KiJV For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
I stayed 41 years, Til Death Did We Part. It was a waste of the Gift of Life God gives us. This is a reply to me from elsewhere: You are right to "cut them out of your life" so they won't keep hurting you. You can forgive them, but God does not wish for you to be abused by them. Forgiveness doesn't mean that it was okay what they did, it is a gift you give yourself so that the resentment or hatred you feel for that person doesn't eat you up inside & you stop giving them the power to make you miserable. God will deal with them.
I am finally divorcing after 30 years. I am 61. I wish, I wish i had done it years earlier. I'm bitter about losing half my retirement to him because he refused to work full time or at all for 20 years. i will make it work because I don't want to live what time I have left in an empty marriage and my needs and wants have become much simpler!
That sounds like my husband. He died after 41 years of marriage. Til Death Do We Part is not always good advice. Sometimes leaving earlier is better, because life is a gift, not to waste. I live on my retirement, gov & S.S. because his was so low, I could not benefit from it. Key is not to become bitter with regrets. Be happy that you can move on out of a bad situation.
Good for you. I had the same experience and divorced at 56. Regretted I did not divorce at 46. I got happy and appreciated new relationships. My ex asked me what woman was I leaving her for. My truthful answer was every woman. I hope you find a better lifestyle with a little piece of happiness
Sabrina, I thought this was about letting grey hair grow out lol. I looked at your beautiful face and was frightened by your hair color. It looks as though you dye it. I dyed mine the same color. The doctor told me I had kidney cancer and removed it, and dying hair is one of the causes. Smoking, and I didn't, is the number one cause. Last week two non-invasive tumors were removed from my bladder. A doctor said hair stylists get bladder cancer more then other people too. I stayed in my marriage 41 years until death did we part. Life is a gift not to be wasted. I wish I had not wasted it with a disrespectful man, but today I am free regardless.
Splitting assets is understandable but being handed an open ended alimony obligation at age 60 is nuts. It means the payer may never be able to retire while the payee essentially is retiring from the marriage on an alimony pension.
You think alimony (never even close to 50%) and 1/2 the social security amount that the spouse is receiving is unfair to the man?
I divorced at 60. I had a special need teen at home, had her at 42. I got no child support and finally finished paying my last alimony payment to him. Vastly unfair system. Men say they are the ones that get the shaft. Not true.
So what we are saying is somebody up in here gonna get the shaft ultimately. I say after age forty just so no to drugs and just say no to marriage. I am a widower of a 25 year great marriage but no way will I be married again. Too much risk involved. Good video.
Very wise ❤
Yah we all deserve happiness but when you are facing retirement incomes you are often stuck or you end up not being able to retire
The USDA Rural Development Home Loan supplements my house payment and I live in Northern Arizona (affordable). There are ways to beat the system and live affordably.
My husband and l separated after 28years. We live on the opposite side of our town. I have the house and pay for everything myself and he got to keep all his pension and annuities. It’s been six years, with absolutely no contact. Still legally married though. Neither one of us want to pay a lawyer for the divorce. Anyway, why bother. We are only married on paper.
doesn't want to travel/ nothing in common is so beign.....most of the time the woman has suffered emotionally physically etc..and endured years of neglect and says enough!
You can bet the man will get stuck with the big fat spousal support payment until either one dies. These lawyers will clean the old people's clock and fight. If it goes to trial it will cost $100,000. I feel so sorry for divorced people at 65.
Wrong. I was the primary earner and I had to buy my ex-husband out of the house I paid for. I mediated to avoid those lawyers fees. He found another woman far wealthier than me and lives in her big house. Men aren't the only ones who lose. I work a very challenging job at 62 and will have to do so until I'm 67.
Your one of a few exceptions. You were the bread winner. That's rare. For the most part, the women come out ahead.
Many people that stay at home to raise children, be a homemaker, etc. do so by choice - they don't 'have to' as the woman attorney states and they are not sacrificing any promising career. They simply prefer not to work (outside the home) because they find it easier and less stressful. Being a SAHM is a socially acceptable way to stay out of the workforce . There is nothing wrong with that decision but, like every other decision, it has its consequences. If a marriage doesn't work out, while there should be a fair distribution of assets accrued during the marriage, it is absurd to expect someone - and let's be honest, it's usually, though not always, the husband - to continue to support his former partner, a fully grown adult, as if that person is a child, for the rest of his life.
Then advocate for men to marry more career wices and also take part in domestic activities and child care at home. I can't be work 40hrs a week and still be expected to do most domestic chores... Lie lie. Not possible
I raised 11 kids and homeschooled them k-12. No way to have a "career" too. Got a pittance of spousal. He remarried a career woman whose 2 kids are druggie after being ignore their whole childhood. My kids are all successful, raising big families and homeschooling their kids. But my life work counts for nothing in society yet his new wife is a "success".
That makes me sick for you. So sorry
Her end statement seemed odd to me
Divorce Is A Stupid Mistake
For Thouse Of You Who Divorce You Are Not In A Healthy State Of Mind Your Mentel Status Is So Wrong Divorce Is Shameful And Downright Sinful I Hope And Pray You Get The Help Ypu Need .
Malachi 2:16 KiJV For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Even if the husband would rather spend more time with another woman lol? That is a case where loyalty and respect not longer exist.
I stayed 41 years, Til Death Did We Part. It was a waste of the Gift of Life God gives us. This is a reply to me from elsewhere: You are right to "cut them out of your life" so they won't keep hurting you. You can forgive them, but God does not wish for you to be abused by them. Forgiveness doesn't mean that it was okay what they did, it is a gift you give yourself so that the resentment or hatred you feel for that person doesn't eat you up inside & you stop giving them the power to make you miserable. God will deal with them.