How to Recover From Binge Eating Without Therapy
Вставка
- Опубліковано 11 сер 2021
- HOW TO RECOVER FROM BINGE EATING WITHOUT THERAPY - Psychotherapy is expensive and not accessible to all and yet we are led to believe that it is something we need when we have a problem in our lives.
As a therapist of course I believe therapy can be a helpful part of recovery, but we live in this incredible age of information and connectivity. We can use these resources to help ourselves. In this video I share some tips about how create some of the advantages of therapy for yourself.
Please check out my new podcast Life After Diets with Stefanie Michele. Available across most podcast platforms.
My book, I Can't Stop Eating, is available on Amazon amzn.to/3a6M6Hb (UK affiliate link, please search for title if outside of UK)
Website - thebingeeatingtherapist.com
Instagram - / the_binge_eating_thera...
“Do not believe everything you tell yourself. Do not believe everything you think. Do not believe everything you feel.” Powerful. I felt something shift. Thank you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist I will watch this in the morning, when I have some alone time.
But I do not trust everything I think and feel, I am the worlds biggest liar to myself anyway, and to others when it comes to food anyway.
I can convince myself of anything, I can buy a multipack of something and not eat them all etc...... such a big lie.
So I will watch your video in the hope I can stop spiraling every day, because it is making me so unhappy.
Thanks in advance/
@@DonnaBradleyYankiAndTheBrit You say you can convince yourself of anything so in those moments you ARE believing everything you think and feel. I don’t know if I say it in this video, but the question that pulled me out of tricking myself (I’d always say I’ll do better tomorrow) was to ask “what makes me think I’ll be able to do tomorrow what I’m struggling to do today?”
I love a good question for shaking myself out of those trickster thoughts
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist That tomorrow never comes when I make that promise to me.
I have had a couple of good days. by telling myself, tomorrow is NOW, because what I do now, affects tomorrow.
I have no idea what made me slip back into old habits, I have lost 140lb with telling myself that one line and a lot of swear words hahaha I gained back 20 and I do not wanna keep spiralling.
I have been one month free of binge eating without therapy. What I did
1) stop extreme dieting I still watch what I eat to some extent but I don’t starve all day and eat one meal a day or fast because for me it leads to huge binges.
2) talk about my feelings instead of holding them in
3) get rid of the desire for weight loss I’m at a weight where no matter how much I deprive my self I won’t lose weight so I just have to let that desire go.
4) joyful movement
5) stop weighing myself obsessively
6) increase my self esteem.
Love this ❤️
Hey loved to read your comment, Can you help me out with same situation i am facing it also?
@clutchergod1431 are you still on your journey?
What's beautiful about this is the change in expectations. It restores faith in humanity when I see people wrench themselves out of the fantasy that modern society portrays on screens and advertisements.
I'm genuinely fulfilled by being here to see that growth in you.
I've a QUESTION I think about food all time all day I literally think of nothing else how can I get out of that circle??
If diets worked no one would struggle with bingeing. I think we all have some different things that help us make changes. For me, I run/ran to food mindlessly, for comfort and as you said, pay attention to ourselves/what we feel at that moment . Now I am looking at it this way, if it's comfort I am looking for in dealing with emotional triggers, well in the end, food leaves me feeling way worse, no true comfort after the fact. Comfort is working through and recognizing what I am feeling and finding other things, if even a good cry, prayer etc to bring true comfort. Thank you Soo much for this!
I'm in recovery from an eating disorder and doing it myself. I tried therapy and it was more discouraging than helpful, unfortunately. After I stopped seeing the therapist, I did consider meeting someone else, but it seemed too risky to try when the same thing might happen again.. and I grew weary of people who listed eating disorders as one of twenty other things that they offer therapy for. Though it's taken a long time to act on, it has been much better going by myself and I've become much better now- excited to cook even!
Of course, all this said, I would always encourage someone to try therapy esp at the start when it feels overwhelming. At the same time, listening to this has felt personally comforting. Thank you for this video!
Your channel is amazing!! I have been struggling with binge-fast cycle for more than 2 years and couldn't find my way out. Today I am 17 days clean which is the longest I have ever gone without binging and I feel so free. This channel has helped me greatly and I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, that I can beat this thing! Thank you so much!!
I’m very happy to hear my content has been helpful you and that’s wonderful that you are having that experience of freedom. Watch out for those ‘clean streaks’ though because if you have a blip, your all-or-nothing thinking may try to derail you further ❤️❤️
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Thank you for the warning!! I'll try to look at it like I have been in state B for 17 days, but visits to state A are bound to happen and that is ok too! :)
Just wondering how things are going for you. Coming to the realization that I'm developing BED
hi sarah! i know i can never thank u enough but i just really want u to know how grateful i am for everything that u have done for us. u gave me access to something that i could not afford to have here in the country where i live in. ur content has helped me so much in my recovery. thank u sarah and stef for giving us a community where in we could feel heard and understood and connected. ❤️❤️❤️
thankyou, this really helped!! so kind of you to be doing this for people struggling
I'm seeing a theme in your videos that I've been recently watching. (FOR ME) Journaling is jumping to my attention and I know it has been key for you. So, I am going to hop on that train. I resist it, probably because it will have me looking at how I'm feeling and thinking about things. Something I avoid like the plague, BUT, you're the first and only person that has made my story seem recoverable and in these last weeks I have had more peace around food and myself than I can remember. I am finding that if I don't check in and listen at least once a day, I lose that calming and grounded self talk that you help me put into words. I am putting myself first now, and making sure I get this time to listen. Thank you once again.
Thank you Sarah another very thought-provoking video. You are SO right about all the information out there today. For example, when I was growing up, if I wanted to read about my eating disorder, which by the way did not even have the name binge eating at the time, I had to go to the library or the bookstore and try to find the information and in the public place no less, it was ...difficult. Today as you mentioned, there's so much information available for free on so many topic. it's just a matter of taking time to find out what you need, staying focused and discarding all the irrelevant stuff. I'm so happy I found this amazing channel of yours. you have so many on-point videos and I can so relate to what you are saying this channel has just been amazing for me! thanks again !
I am so thankful for your insight and care! Thank you for your videos.
Sarah you are amazing!! Just bought your book, still caught in the cycle but I’m coming back to you more and more and slowly your words are creeping into my mind ❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for doing this!
Thank you so much for this advice video
Everything you sad make sense to me 🙏🙏🙏💜
Thank you for this video, I am from Indian community and our community is not open to therapy, I have been struggling from Binge eating disorder from years now. Your videos helped me a lot. Thank you so much.
Hello my friend. I understand. I'm half white British/half Punjabi xx
I am really glad I found this channel. It is really hard for men to admit that they struggle with these sort of things. Thanks for putting these videos together.
You are so very welcome. I’m glad you’re here ❤️
Omg that’s been my internal narrative as well. Your therapist was wrong to tell you that ugh. I’m more than willing to put in the work. I’m just lost in how to fix my binge eating disorder. Grounding tools and meditation does help a bit. I love your words of don’t believe everything you think or feel. ❤
its like, if you are anorexic you are a martyr of the system (thus validating the system's values) and there is so much compassion and specialised help; if you are binge eating,😐 you are just fat and disgusting. Even though it's just as painful and just as dangerous for your health.
Bringing vague intuitive thoughts into awareness and vocalising them in order to help ingrained patterns of behaviour to shift in positive directions is reminding me very much of Bruce Eckers work with Memory Reconsolidation (as used in Coherence Therapy) where he leverages the brains potential to dissolve these subconsciously driven problem-solution rules (schemas). Well worth a look!
The sincerity and kindness with which you deliver these utube gems is amazing. You always seem to say what I need to hear. I have tried therapy, sincerely, twice. By sincerely, I mean with commitment and hit-bottom feelings. It didn't take long for me to realize that both therapists met my issues with an eye-roll. They were mostly professional, but I could tell there was no real understanding or belief that I had a problem I couldn't just "stop" with a diet. THANK you Sarah. Thank you.
I’m so glad that you seem to be ‘heard’ by my videos. I spent years in therapy with therapist who I felt were a bit exasperated with me. I have a theory that every therapist tries to be the therapist they wished they had. I know that’s true for me x
The reason why it's difficult for me because I'm a guy and we don't really get that much support because we have other ways of getting self-worth that does not involve Beauty. I lost over 95 lb but I still feel like it's not enough. I did intermittent fasting, and I would do workouts anywhere from running 6 miles and then jump roping for 30 minutes right after and then doing 150 push-up stuff like that. I world also obsessively count calories and eating out is no longer fun anymore. However I had put everything on the back burner since I thought that Fitness and Aesthetics are the most important thing in my life. My binges are getting worse now and I have consumed over 6,000 calories I mean I get that it was a wedding I still kept on eating. I also felt hungry but I think it was because I had an intense desire to eat. I think my main culprit is feeling that I am unlovable unless I am a provider. I had a woman tell me that I was beautiful but now she's no longer with me, and every woman that I meet only loves me when I meet her standards as a provider but not through other parts of myself like my actual personality or the way I look. However I feel that things could be much worse if I gained all my weight back and I don't want to be that person anymore. I've also seen women who are much heavier than me end up in amazing relationships effortlessly, and are considered beautiful without putting any effort or improving themselves; as for myself, I try so hard to improve myself but im still uttlery alone. I feel like im ugly, uninteresting, and unlovable. I post a lot on instagram about positive fun stuff, and nobody messages me. I would also message people and I would get ghosted a lot. The worst part is that everybody I tell this to tells me that I'm doing fine or they keep on congratulating me on my weight-loss. I don't have money for therapy unfortunately I would feel perfectly fine if I gained all my weight back especially since I feel that it hasn't really made my life any better.
It is just so difficult and exhausting, isnt it? I have been struggling for over 40 years now. I wonder if it will continue until the day I die? 😮
Accept whatever feelings and emotions you have. Accept every thought that pops up. Stay calm even when it feels there is chaos inside. Don't resist any feelings or thoughts, give up the fight. Dont argue or get involved in your thoughts. Separate your conciousness from your thoughts. Your thoughts are bullsh*t, did you know we think on average atleast 6000 thoughts EVERY day? All of it is just nonsense noise the mind makes up. Don't get involved in your thoughts unless it's something that benefits you. Allow yourself to eat whenever you are hungry no matter how many times a day. This is training. You trained your mind to this detrimental state, now its time to train it to be peaceful. By being peaceful even tho you are not peaceful. Step by step, every day. Good luck.
You are not unloveable. If someone wants you only to be a provider that's on them. Start valuing yourself as a person and accept only people in your life who value you as a person as well. I wonder if perhaps you settle because you don't believe you deserve people in your life who love you for you? Just a thought. The previous comment about being at peace is valid. Please don't give up on yourself. You are worth it.
Thank you for mentioning OA. I think recovery has a lot to offer, and of course it's free.
I love your channel and you are amazing too!so humble and compassionate!Thank you for all the free stuff you painstakingly prepare for us!!!if I ever decide to go for a therapy I would love to do it with you.
You are so welcome! I’m glad you are here ❤️
I just found your channel through your interview with Emma… and I love it. I’ve gad the same experience that you describe with the homeless man… and the shame 😞 Thanks for sharing your experience ❤️
You are so welcome. I’m glad you’re here 💜
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist ❤️
I’ve listened to half of this video titled ‘why we don’t need therapy’ and all I’ve heard mentioned is ‘therapy therapy therapy.’ No actual advice on how to give up bi he eating. I would get a lot more benefit from watching a David Goggins video. AND I actually believe your old therapist was correct when she said ‘just try harder!’ That’s exactly what we need to do. Every addiction is HARD to quit. So get hard and just go harder.
Some times for me it's more mentorship coaching someone walking with you sound board unraveling thoughts so they make sense until you are ready confident off on your own journey and just knowing someone is at the sideline cheering you on a sharing discussion etc
I agree. It’s a difficult path to tread alone. It’s always preferable to have someone by your side who is totally in your corner and can help point out things that may be in your blind spot.
I’m enjoying my food and no binges
Not thinking about dieting and trying to accept my body the way it is🎉🎉
I haven't binged in 7 months now but I struggle to eat well. I think it's another way to self sabotage. I've replaced binging with irregular food schedule, take-away food and eating "on foot". Sometimes, chosing to skip socials and stay at home because I don't like the the way clothes look on me.
So I wonder, how much of the recovery is "learning" healthy eating habits and unlearning unhealthy ones?
I think that focusing on learning rather than unlearning is helpful. It’s hard to simply get rid of unwanted thoughts and behaviour, instead focusing on the new thoughts and behaviour that are incompatible with the old is how change happens. I hope you can appreciate yourself for coming as far as you already have even if it feels like you have a way to go x
Omg I just recently started attending OA meetings too!
You could try eating disorders anonymous- lots of online meetings you can access. Emphasis on balance rather than abstinence.
Interesting! I’ve never heard of them!
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist it’s a twelve step fellowship but they don’t focus on food or abstinence - they keyword is balance and looking at what’s going on behind the Ed behaviours and thoughts.
It's not that I can't afford therapy, it's that in my experience and in the experience of most everyone I've talked to who have had therapy, it's useless (unless you're a woman and just want to pay someone to tell you that your only fault is in beeing TOO good).
Back in the day, at least in the US, BE was not a true EDO because there was no purging. Therapists were stumped.
Yeah. It only became a standalone diagnosis in 2013. Many therapists are still stumped by it though…
9:10 this is my path. I heard a similar advice from Yuval Noah Harari that motivated me to keep doing what I was doing. It’s been hard but words like this help me stay on the path. So yet another thank you from me. Your work is amazing.
That's the guy who said a few months ago we should hack humans, and that most of humanity is useless... I'd be careful assimilating anything that man says.
Are you in Scotland by any chance ? Otherwise I saw your doppelgänger at a funeral yesterday!🤔🤭
Not me! 😯
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist good job I didn’t ask her if she was a therapist that speaks about binge eating, sure my family would have wanted an explanation on what that was about and they don’t really know anything about the struggles I have 🫣x
@@emmamcqueen227 😂😂
Hi. What are your thoughts on having to restrict certain foods due to being diabetic?
I have to be careful how I respond to this question as I am not a physician. My understanding that there may be something in how foods are combined to manage blood sugar as opposed to ‘restriction’. Check out this woman on Instagram she has some great content about this instagram.com/prediabetes.nutrition
is it bad to gain weight even if it’s in binge eating recovery? because i haven’t been restricting after binges anymore and i kinda feel bad for gaining a lot lately but if i stop restricting, i will eventually stop craving the food right? because i really want to lose weight but if i do that now the urge to binge is bigger so i first want to recover before losing weight but it’s hard when i’m just gaining right now:/ but thank you for your videos they really help :)
My account is under my husband’s name. I’m Suzy and I’m in exactly the same situation. It is so hard when we gain weight in recovery, and I still fight the desire to lose weight every day, but I simply cannot go on another diet. Sometimes it totally consumes my thoughts. Your videos are just wonderful - so informative and i love your natural, relatable style. Thank you 😊
I know weight gain can feel uncomfortable, but you are not ‘bad’ for gaining weight. I’ve done this video about weight gain. Maybe it will help ❤️
ua-cam.com/video/Xy5DRsB1N9o/v-deo.html
I literally waited 18 months on a waiting list and have basically been told to F off as I have doubts about self help and the validity of it.
You say the tools are there but I can’t find a solution. I can’t find tools that don’t just seem like some BS eg journaling. What do you write in a journal… I would be staring at the page for hours thinking.. I’m useless cause I can’t even write anything other than I am crap at journals.
I was really hoping for some information about how to do it but that wasn’t in this video.
I just looked up therapy in my local area. They want $160 an hour. That's never going to happen.