The thing that is the most devastating about this misconception is that no one would EVER choose to go through what I (and anyone with an ED) have gone through. Not only that, but folks with EDs don't need to feel any more guilt than they already do. If you're reading this and you have an ED, I KNOW that you didn't choose this. I didn't either. It's not our fault.
I disagree. It is a choice. Only once when you recognize it is can you take the power back and start to heal. It is an addiction like every other addiction. It may feel like hell and be a horrible and hard thing to overcome...but it feels that way because you made those choices that led there. I am not trying to be harsh. I speak from experience.
You are so right. None of us chose our "genes," as Kati mentioned. Hehehe! No one chooses to have an illness. I did not choose to experience the neurochemical imbalances, the bullying, the anxiety, the depression in my life... There are a few choices which we can make about how to respond to the ED, especially if we can listen to what our inner voice really wishes... Sometimes my bad voice has been so loud and overpowering that I could not find my true thoughts and feelings.
I've never had a full- fledged eating disorder, but I do have some experience with restricting, binging, purging, etc. and a lot of experience with self harm. The way I see it is that on the behavioral level there is an element of choice (even if it doesn't always feel like that), but you don't choose to have the thoughts that lead you to the coping skill. I think to say that there's no choice is a bit dismal in terms of choosing recovery, but to say that it's all choice obviously ignores the real issues.
I love you Katie, you help me so much and I'm only 15 so I'm still scared of proper "therapy" or whatever but you help me with my anxiety, depression and eating disorder so much as you actually understand me! Thank you!!
Ik this was a long time ago and i often feel the same way but i think the whole thing is the urge to pursue that liftstyle and thoughts are not a choice but the continuing to choose the act on them and not go against them can be
@@eff0_o gosh my comment was 2 years ago? Feels like i said this yesterday. But i think u r right. Now i know its not a choice, i thought because i wasnt on the extreme side of an ed meant i didnt have one. Even though its not severe with me, i struggle with food every single day
@@katesierra6238 im so sorry to hear, it is such a miserable thing to deal w especially for so long. i believe in u and hope things get better and u find relief🖤
Hey kati, Here is another perspective to reveal how/why Eating disorders are not a "choice," but in fact, a mental illness. This may not be the case for all, so I'll just speak for myself. when I do an ED behavior, it's not because I just rationally and calmly decide to do so.. it's because there are overwhelming thoughts and or feelings, UNTIL I do such behaviors.. which often gives me some sense of necessary relief or safety. that's why I do these behaviors. because it's one of the only ways I can calm my thoughts, feelings, anxieties, etc. IT'S OFTEN THE ONLY WAY "THAT I KNOW HOW" TO "FEEL" SAFE. the negative thoughts and feelings become so overwhelming that it typically feels urgent for me to do ED behaviors. Also, not to be compared to, but I like to use OCD as an example... how one with OCD will usually have to perform rituals/behaviors in order to relieve their anxieties, even if just momentarily. anyway, just wanted to share. :) xo
Hi Shandi, Thanks for sharing your story. I suffered with anorexia and bulimia for 14 years. I most likely would have died. Last year I found the strength to heal myself internally and externally. I felt a loss of control in my life at the age of 12, which is why I starved myself. It was the only thing I felt I could control in my life. I noticed you mentioned that your ED made you "feel safe". Can you please explain more about this?
I chose my ed, one day I told myself I didn’t want to feel fat anymore so I was going to become anorexic. And I did. But then once I hit my goal weight I told myself I was going to stop but I couldn’t. I feel like it might be a choice to some in the sense that you would like to start having an Ed but once you get into it you don’t really have any control or choices anymore
In my opinion, eating disorders fall on the same spectrum as addiction or the "ism" in general. Over eating, not eating, drinking, drugs, gambling, shopping, agoraphobia are all unhealthy ways to cope with reality. They are learned and some people's bodies tend to lean towards these unhealthy mechanisms for a myriad of reasons. Thank god for the 12 steps because they can be literally applied to all of these things!
I agree. I also believe that initially the act of not eating, over eating, bulemia only develops into addiction after you make The Choice to initially start doing it. The Choice to do it initially is probably related to anxiety, social phobia, depression, bpd, etc. So in my opinion initially it is a choice that develops to an addiction.
Hey Kati! I was wondering if you would do a video on "how to know when you need inpatient or residential treatment"? I think it would be a great topic!
Siobhan D, I agree with you. Those who take their own lives often have mental illnesses, so their brains are not working properly. So suicide makes sense to them but not to the rest of us.
Kati, I love your videos. They are really helping me get through the situation that I am in. I suffer from Tourette's Syndrome as well as GAD, SAD, and MDD. On top of that, I have severe body image issues that lead to me restricting calories. I do binge like maybe once a month, though. My brain makes me think that I am fat even though I have been told that I am too thin for a guy.My medication has made me gain what I consider a significant amount of weight even though it put me in the optimal "healthy" range, I still feel fat. I am ashamed of my body. I've been in treatment for years now and taken over 12 meds and I have never felt any relief. I'm in an almost constant state of despair that is only alleviated when I self-harm. Last night I had to go to the hospital for staples because I cut too deep. I'm seeing an amazing therapist right now, but it doesn't help me. She has also suffered from Tourette's Syndrome and that is what we seem to be focusing on in my therapy two therapy sessions I have had with her. I have trouble bringing up my self-harm with her because I hate drawing attention to it. However, I'm just getting so tired and want to quit again. I almost feel like I'm suicidal again and I'm self-harming more than ever. Nursing school is reeking havoc on my mental health. How do I find the strength to keep going on when there is no end in sight? I'm losing the battle with my illness and I need relief. How do I overcome my SAD and GAD? I don't have any friends and I'm so lonely. As an add on, would you know why I've never found any therapeutic effect from all the different meds I've been on? The only exception to this being the Ativan that I started taking three days ago. It helps with my anxiety tremendously, but that leaves me focusing on my depression and I almost feel all the worse for it.
Hi Kati. Been watching your videos since 2013? I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression & anxiety after being bullied. I resorted to unhealthy coping skills such as self-harm and alcohol. I used to get panic attacks all the time and anxiety ruled my life. It is now 2016 and I am in my senior year of high-school and I have moved out from home to be closer to town (I come from a rural area) Everything is working out so great! I haven't had any PTSD, depression or anxiety in a long time. I have been intentionally clean for 2 years and 8 months. I consider myself recovered and now I am just in love with everything in my life. Your videos (as well as support from friends, family & teachers) do this. Be proud.
Hey!! I recognize your picture and know you have been watching for awhile (although if I remember correctly your username used to be different.. haha) :) Thank you so much for updating me and I am SO PROUD of how far you have come!!! xoxo Thank you for being a part of this community :) xxoo
Thank you for your compassionate response. I have stopped myself from getting help because I am scared because people might judge me for 'choosing' this illness.
I love this channel, like really. I was with a lot of psychiatres, but no one really helps me so i don't want to see them anymore. I was watching the video, and i litteraly understand what was my problem. I love hearing about all the problem that someone van have. You make me want to learn psychology in collège i'm serious. Thanks for everything.
I, very much, appreciated this video! I struggle with an eating disorder while working on childhood abuse. It feels like so much of my life needs to be a secret; and, this is one of them! I know that I will find better, healthier ways of coping in the future. But, it felt "sweet" to hear a wee bit of validation, that it isn't unusual. That this is temporary and I am on the road to recovery! A thank you for reminding me!! Colleen
I wish you all the best on your road to recovery Colleen! I suffered with an ED for 14 years. Last year, I decided to heal myself by choosing life. I'm so much happier!
Great video like always! Eating disorders are definitely NOT a choice. I would never CHOOSE to really and truly believe that ice cream was a bad food that would make me fat if I even ate one bite (that is an example from my past). I love ice cream! I did get past that, and now eat ice cream like a normal person, but it took a long, long time in order for me to get there.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this.. I hope you are able to get some support from a therapist or possibly use my ED workbook as well :) xoxo
yeah, you're right. i used to restrict when i was in a very bad situation mentally because i hated myself and thought i was disgusting and filthy regarding my personality and feelings but i couldn't do anything on the inside so i tried to make myself better on the outside to compensate. also i did it as self harm because honestly going many hours without food is fucking painful physically. nowadays i managed to get it under control but i still catch myself reducing my food intake whenever i go through really stressful periods.
Yes I've heard this a lot and I believed it. For years I avoided help because I was convinced it was a choice. It's inky even I seriously wanted to stop and couldn't that I accepted it wasn't a choice.
#KatiFAQ I was put on anti-depressants 2 months ago.. After a month we noticed I stabilised but my mood was really low.. We upped the dose a couple of weeks ago and I ended up suicidal and self harming from negative thoughts... I stopped taking my medication yesterday and have felt a lot better... My doctor plans to monitor me over the next week off the meds... But is it possible they did the complete op and put me in a darker place?? Btw Love your videos - thank you for all that you do on helping to break the stigma!
It is actually possible. If you look up the side effects of basically all ani-depressants they say may increase depression and suicidal thoughts. Also at least in my experience being zombified on meds is very similar to depression in that it suppresses emotion. For me depression isn't sadness or hopelessness it's a complete lack of emotion alltogaether so in that regards what medication does is very similar.
This is really tricky. Because I think that on the one hand nobody chooses a mental illness. Nobody gives themselves an eating disorder, it is not their choice and not their fault. But on the other hand they are the only one who can choose to recover. And it is their responsibility to get help and get better. Which kind of sucks, if you think about it, but I think that's where a lot of people get it mixed together and talk about it being a choice. We have to choose recovery.
Thank you I hate it when people just turn round and say stop doing it well I want to but it's not that simple I don't think my therapist understands it either the same as self harm she told me that there is nothing wrong with me doing it it's a coping skill well I want help with it not to be told normal people do it too just makes me feel stupid for wanting help
I'm so glad you made this video! Now I can show this to my family, for I lack the ability to explain it to them as to how it's actually not a choice for me. Thank you! 💕
***** I've heard a lot of people say that people with BPD have a tendency to 'adapt' other people's personalities in their presence (Kind of like when a chameleon camouflages itself). Can you elaborate on that?
Is there a way to know whether the behaviour is a coping skill or not? This seems to be the main "criterium" for disordered eating to become an eating disorder, but I personally have no idea whether my restriction and purging are a way of coping or just my illogical way of trying to lose weight.
But was it a disorder in the beginning? a person can committ ED behaviors and not actually have the eating disorder mental illness. it could however lead to developing one for real. I've known many people who had tried different ed behaviors for a while, but it didn't stick. they moved on and never looked back. they didn't actually have the illness. in the beginning I didn't think I did... but mine unfortunately developed into one for real. remember, it's not technically a medical "disorder" unless it's negatively affecting or impairing your ability to function in everyday life (such as keep relationships, jobs, etc.) OR if u meet the criteria for the disorder and are diagnosed by the appropriate professional(s). AND that does NOT, in any way, discredit the seriousness or severity of anyone suffering symptoms WITHOUT meeting criteria for a disorder.
Shandi Land Yes I know this. I have USFED restricting type one. I've been diagnosed by a professional and I take a Psych class at Harvard University. I know what I'm taking about. I knew everything about EDs because of my class so I talked myself into one.
It might have seemed like a choice, but having an ED is a coping mechanism. Whatever you were experiencing to talk yourself into controlling (or losing control) on your eating in some way. Yes, it can feel like a choice, especially when MANY people "try" the symptoms for a while and then stop. The crucial aspect is directing the stress around food. Regardless, "choice" is a strong word, and i believe recovery is the one to bear it.
You're so cool! These videos help so much! Can you please do a video on the 'binge eating'/extreme hunger side of recovering from anorexia and how to cope with weight gain in recovery. It is easy for people to think you have 'recovered' just because you're WR but how does this play into being mentally better? Is it normal for this to set you back in your recovery? What are some healthy coping skills to deal with this? Sorry for so many questions! Thank you Kati 😊 xx
Thank you so much for this xxx ❤️ I'm restricting my food and hurting myself physically just as a way of trying to cope I wish people knew it wasn't a choice I didn't choose to do or live like this this it's the only way I can survive at the moment :( xxxx
To anyone who is inetersted in the topic : Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. LIFE SAVING!! PS: I agree with you on how ED works as a safety blanket. You have those overwhelming thoughts almost unconsciously. BUT it's your choice whether you let these thoughts have an emotional pressure on you and as a consequence start acting out certain ED behaviours or carry on with your life no matter how harsh the circumstances are. So the thoughts are not a choice but how you react is your personal responsibility. We tend to use our circumstances (family background, lack of confidence etc etc) as excuses. As a matter of fact there's no "ideal" time for recovery. The longer you hesitate the harder it gets to break the old disordered habits and recreate the routine of normal eating.
Kati, I was wondering what you thought about the controversy surrounding UA-camr Eugenia Cooney. Everyone seems to want to help her, even Onision. I'm just not sure people are approaching it the right way. What if her fans are making her worse or what if she is causing her fans to develop eating disorders?
I feel like the videos directed at Eugenia Cooney are spreading a lot of misinformation about anorexia and stigmatizing mental illness. Chances are, these response videos are more damaging to anorexic girls than people claim that Eugenia Cooney allegedly is, as they are sending the message that it is shameful to have a mental illness. I fear that anorexic teens will see these response videos and be afraid to go see a doctor and get diagnosed. Also, looking at pictures of underweight girls and wishing to look like them is most likely a symptom of anorexia rather than a cause. Another thing to point out is that we do not know what Eugenia has for a fact just based upon looking at her. Many physical and mental health issues are characterized by extreme weight loss, so she could have any number of things. I really hope that she is receiving proper treatment if she really is sick with a life-threatening illness, but she does absolutely have a right to confidentiality in terms of her diagnosis and medical treatment that she chooses to pursue.
I don't know how I feel about this. I don't have an eating disorder but I chose to become a vegetarian because that was something that could be mine, that I could control, that could give me some control in my life, and so I could show that I have will power to not eat meat. so basically I chose this and it helps me have control.
I don't think I have an eating disorder, but sometimes I eat atrociously. Yesterday I ate 4 oz of fudge in about 30 min. Then I came home and ate a rice dinner by myself that was meant to serve four people. I can understand the guilt so many people feel over their eating disorders. There is a lot of guilt mixed in with a lot of eating disorders. I think that is one of the worst things about eating disorders - the guilt.
Hey Kati! I think it would be great if u could talk about depersonalization disorder? I would love to learn more about it because I have had out of body episodes multiple times (what I know so far I don't have it I have never been to a doctor about it but I have experienced it). I would also like to learn more about anxiety (especially panic attacks) I love watching ur videos so much! Have a good day xoxo💗💗
I have an eating problem but I dont think its classed as a disorder (just a symptom of the depression). I dislike most foods, food grosses me out, people eating grosses me out, the process of having to eat at certain points in the day is annoying, and I wish I could just skip meals but I know thats not healthy so I force myself to eat anything I have the slightest chance of wanting to eat. and there are foods I like some of the time, and very rarely there may be foods I always like. Not eating is also a slightly pleasant feeling sometimes as well, not having to stomach something no matter how small (because even when I eat its smaller portions of a full meal some to most of the time) and sometimes skipping 2 courses of food (I have to have dinner always at the same time which is annoying), especially before, it made me feel in control I suppose. And overall I dont actually undereat too much, and I definitely don't have anorexia because I dont think I'm not skinny enough at all and I dont want to be skinnier, I'm aware I should eat more and that I am too light, but when it comes down to it I can't stomach much and forcing myself to even half full makes me feel sick and uncomfortable, and if I dont like something at that moment I will not eat it I'm sorry but I trust my warped instincts over force eating. anyway sorry about the text spill, just typing this put has made me realise a thing or two. thanks to any who made it to the end here sorry about the overshare :)
Hey Kati! I am 16 and I live with my mother and my fifteen year old sister. My mother (though not officially diagnosed) has BPD and my sister also has some quite severe mental illnesses. Both of them talk about suicide, but I don't think that they would go through with it in the near future. My question is, do I have a responsibility to tell someone about this? I talk to teachers sometimes but I always avoid saying anything that they might have to report.
The real question is how much do you love them and could you live your life without them. If the answer is no to the latter then you should tell someone. If your teachers won't listen or you don't think they'll take you seriously talk to a school counselor it's their job to help students emotionally get through school and they should be able to refer your mother and sister to a therapist or psychiatrist depending on the situation.
Also if you don't want them to feel betrayed or something like that try talking to them about it. You may be able to convince them to seek help on their own. Let them know that suicidal thoughts, whether your depressed or not, are always a bad thing. Thoughts that reccur tend to get stronger as they are thought of more and eventually become actions. Even if you have to sacrifice some of their trust in you by telling someone it's sad but worth their lives.
Billy Newman thank you so much for your reply. My mother and my sister have both refused to see psychologists, neither of them think that they need any help. I'm worried that if I disclose too much to my teachers then they will have to contact child protective services, and my sister and I really don't have anywhere to go...
Ultimately you can't help someone who does not want the help. It's a very sad situation that you're in and telling someone can get a refferal to psychologists but if they don't want to go they don't have to. The only time people are usually forced into care is if they are seen as a threat to themselves or others. In this situation really the only option is to convince them that they need help. They have to want the help which can be very hard to do. I myself am bipolar and in the past I did not want any treatment whatsoever. In my position it felt like a handicap to need medication and that I needed to be changed in order for society to accept me. That may be how they feel or they could just be in total denial. If you think about it in their perspective how would you like to be talked to. Hope this helps. Don't give up :)
I think it's more of an unconscious choice based off on past experience, as that determines behavior. So yeah there's an element of choice to mental illness, but it's conditioning how to behave a certain ways for years and years that cements itself where it may be hard to just break out of particular mindset
I eat and eat and eat so that I can die and so it doesn't look like suicide. Then insurance will pay out to family. I've gone from size 12 to size 24 so far. I can't tell anyone what I am doing. I'm waiting for dbt will that help
This is so weird. When I was struggling with my ED...I did it as a way to cope with my depression which my parents were beginning to see. I think way back then I was struggling to be "okay" with needing help & with leaning on other people. That trusting & depending on someone else from time to time WAS NORMAL. I'm still puzzled as to what lead me to that thought process? My parents think its abandonment issues because I was very premature and all by myself in a incubator for 3 months. I'm not sure. I'm intrigued.
I'm in France as an exchange student and it's horrible, like she said everything is out if my control and I'm extremely anxious all the time. I'm also having trouble sleeping even thoung I'm very tired, I'm always cold never mind how warm it is and since they eat allot more than what I'm used to in Germany in the first few weeks I gained weight (not much, for someone who doesn't know my body as well as I do it was not even noticeable) so I decided to eat less of the "main course" and more salad and fruit. Now I know that doesn't sound too bad but sometimes I'm surprised at how little I eat and feel full. I'm just worried that restricting the main meal like that and mainly eating fruit and vegetables might turn into an eating disorder. And if it does, wasn't it my choice for restricting?
I don't understand why my sister adopted it as a coping skill when I was growing up though. I had a very fun upbringing as did my brother and never could understand what triggered it with her. Same home, parents, etc. I must've missed something. All I can recall is maybe my dad not paying nearly as much attention to her when me and my brother (we're twins) came along. Even at the time I saw it as maybe a coping skill to get my dad's attention.
I disagree. As somebody who has been hospitalized multiple times for anorexia binge/purge subtype over the past 10 years, every time I restricted, binged, vomited, or exercised, it was a conscientious decision. I knew the consequences of my behaviors, yet still chose to do them anyway. Taking personal responsibility for my actions and recognizing my active participation in unhealthy behaviors was a crucial part in me recognizing that I had the power to make a change. Anorexia wasn't something that just happened to me; I worked very hard to get to the very ill state I was in (and later worked even harder to recover). While I did not choose to fear weight gain, fixate endlessly on food or body image, suffer from crippling depression, or have a penchant for routine, I was a willing participant in my disease and chose every single day to prioritize my eating disorder over other things in life. TL;DR This might be semantics, but I would argue that in many respects eating disorders both are and are not a choice. We do not choose to have the fears, desires, and underlying biology that drive us to lose weight or overeat, but ultimately we do choose to act on those feelings and engage in self destructive behavior.
My eating disorder started out as a self harm behaviour, and then it grew from there... eating disorders themselves are NOT a choice in any way, shape, or form. It is a monster that lives inside your head, it's mental illness thoughts that truly are not your own, they're the disorder. We do not WANT to think or feel the way we do, it is our mental illness, and it makes us feel better in a way, as she says it's a coping mechanism, and yet it makes us also feel horrible, because trying to battle those thoughts only seems to make it worse, especially if you have no one to support you.
Can my ED come back? I thought it was gone all year but then things got really bad and I started again without even thinking about it and I lost weight.
Hi Kati! I'm new to your channel yay! I have some questions to elaborate on this question. My distorted eating patterns are kind of still new so I'm still not sure to the answer to this question for me. I'm using food restriction for validation, maybe if I get skinnier people will like me better so I'll have friends, to get more support and validation from my doctor and therapist for attention from feeling too lonely all the time. My therapist also said I restrict as a desire to have health problems to elicit a caring response from my professionals, which that part is completely true. Is this a choice and eating disorder behaviors or an actual eating disorder?
Oh my god, I've been watching all of Kati's videos on eating disorders in an effort to convince myself I don't have one because I don't do it for a lot of the reasons she describes. But what you just described fits my behaviors so well. I still don't know though, is this an actual eating disorder....or do I just want attention?
I don’t think it’s a choice. But it’s hard for me to not blame it on myself. I mean I was the one who started eating less and less. I was the one who decided to stop eating lunch and breakfast. Sometimes it’s hard for me to see it as a coping mechanism for myself. But I didn’t start it to lose weight. I have just always felt like I take up to much space. Or I’m a waste of space. I don’t know. I don’t necessarily think I have a full eating disorder. It’s confusing.
I guess I thought that coping was a choice and indicated psychological weakness but I'm no longer going to beat myself up over my binges even though my family is angry about me for some reason.
It’s like I have a choice to whether I make myself throw up or not, but I don’t have a choice of feeling fat everyday and feeling like I have to overeat everyday
I can relate even if my binge-eating sometimes ends up with BFRB instead. could you please make a video of your thoughts on BFRB (Body focused repetitive behaviors) and what you think would help the most! love your videos BTW!
Not to forget the genetic component that puts some of us at higher risks of eating disorders. I wonder about this myself sometimes... Because when I was struggling with something the natural thing for me to do was to self harm. I have no idea why my mind came up with that as a solution. Nobody told me about it. So I used to think that self harming in certain situation is a totally normal thing and that surely everybody does it, right? Obviously I was wrong about that and I still wonder how others do it. What does their mind tell them to do if they are in a stressful situation? I think this is a good example of how it's not simply a choice but a necessity. Because if my mind had offered me different coping mechanism, I probably would have chosen a less destructive one. But instead, self harm seemed like the only way out, so I did it.
Dear Kati, I think for mani years I have been hiding an eating disorder for many years because there were not consistent. I have had people in my family that have told me that I am a hypochondriac so I tend to hide things especially until I know for sure what it is. Lately though I have been diagnosed with panic, anxiety and now depression and my emotions are running away from me, the only thing I can piece together is at least two times a week I purge the small amount of food I eat during that day ( I do not binge) although) this may not be full criteria yet I feel I am planning on doing it more. I’m a little scared should I tell my therapist? She is going to think I’m already nuts. Thank you
When it comes to other people, I don't believe it's a choice. But when it comes to me, I believe it is. Maybe it's because I think I deserve it. Maybe it's because I'm not underweight yet. I don't know why, but I just don't see my symptoms as valid.
Can you do a video on orthorexia and if it overlaps with anorexia. Or is it a part of EDNOS/OSFED? I went vegan and gluten free and some people think i have an eating disorder because i only eat foods i think are healthy.
I have a livestream where I talk about orthorexia.. but I can definitely do another one. Here is my video on vegetarian/vegan and EDs. xoxo ua-cam.com/video/VuT9oI43Fu0/v-deo.html I hope that helps! xox
I’m so confused. I don’t feel guilty after purging, only after overeating. Yet I still purge as a coping skill. But I don’t have any trauma, at least not anything in the last 5 years. I just don’t get it.
I had an eating disorder because I lost control over my life. I had shitty friends at that time who controlled almost everything of me. One day I had that thought that if I was fat nobody would like me and that was the point I decided to eat less. So it's a choice to eat less but it felt completely natural. It just seemed logical to me. Therefore my eating disorder wasn't really a choice but more like a resolution to my problems.
Hey Katie I just discharged from three months of residential,php, and iop Ed treatment I am now heading home and I am scared of relapse especially being In and out of treatment this year and having to go back to school for the first time in a really long time and it's a new school what do I do?
is this the same as just not feeling like eating at all when im depressed or nervous? my apetite as almost desapeared for a couple of months and i can ingest very little food before i start to feel disgust.
Hi Kati, I'm only 12 and I don't know if I'm depressed or not. I've taken multiple quizzes and all of them have said that I am but I don't want to go to my school counselor and not have an illness. I don't know what to do. I also don't want to be judged.
One thing you'll learn in life, is that many people will judge you. The important thing is that you ignore them. I feel it's important to feel comfortable sharing your feelings of depression with an adult or school counselor. Don't let society make your mental health a "taboo" subject. Your happiness is important =)
I have a question. I know dieting and weight loss do not equate to anorexia but I have been very hesitant to start dieting because I am afraid it might turn into anorexia. I did a 3 month experiment and lost some weight but throughout the process I was very worried so I halted it. My question is, what are the safety precautions someone can do to lose weight safely without turning into anorexia?
StrangleNdie if you don't have the gene to carry anorexia, you won't get it. I'd say if you have lost weight already and not already experienced AN, you don't have the gene. Well, from my experience anyway. Don't trust me haha!
I struggled with anorexia and bulimia for 14 years. I competed in sports all my life. No one knew that I was suffering inside. Finally, one year ago, I chose to heal myself and I been in recovery for ever since. It's a beautiful feeling. You wouldn't become anorexic from simply dieting, per say. What is your reasoning for wanting to lose weight?
Hi Kati! I love your videos. I watch them all. Quick question: I know you're not an MD but you're in the ED field so I thought you might have an idea. Why is it possible for my heart to be affected by my eating habits even if I'm not underweight? I was recently in the hospital for ED heart complications and I was pretty much the only one there who wasn't underweight which was kinda confusing for me. Any ideas? Thanks!
It definitely could be.. electrolyte levels can affect our heart/cause heart attacks. I am not sure if you had been purging, but I have had that happen to many of my bulimic clients. Also, losing weight and gaining weight can be hard on our bodies as well.. but I would definitely ask your doctors more about this so you can better understand what's going on and what caused it. xoxo
I don't know if what I have is an eating disorder.. I constantly consider starving myself and tell myself I'm fat. I'll eat when I'm hungry however my appetite is extremely small. I eat about three meals a week.. I'm not underweight nor am I at a healthy weight. I'm very embarrassed to eat around people because I feel constantly judged or watched. I can go a very long period of time without eating and without feeling hungry. I don't know what's wrong.. and I've been trying to get on a healthy meal schedule but it's not working I assume because of my mindset towards my life and body.
And thank you for this, I'm gonna try and get my parents to watch it, they definitely think I'm doing this by choice. It's hard to get their support when they think I'm doing it because I want too.
Monica Johnson Hi! Well, I'll try to start eating better and I'll give up because Ill see it being pointless, I think of suicide quite often aswell so sometimes I'll just tell myself that I'll just do that and it won't matter, But I've never committed suicide. Part of me always says that I'm fine the way I am and I don't have to starve or whatever but another part of me always tells me to eat healthy and be healthy.. Nothing ever works. I just think I'm better off dead most of the time. I've messed myself up too much.
Let's start with your desire to eat better. Are you choosing to eat better to obtain a certain "body type"? Or are you choosing to eat healthier for a different reason. Having suicidal thoughts is a very serious issue. What are aspects of your life that make you feel depressed or hopeless?
Monica Johnson I wanna eat better, knowing that I'll become a healthy and society acceptable weight. I'm not looking to just be "thin" i want to be thin and healthy, not even "thin" JUST not overweight. Also, I've been bullied for a great amount of my life, thankfully it no longer happens, at School. Im currently in my last year of high school. It's also very hard at home for multiple reasons. The only reason I think I'm still here is because i know if I were to do it, i would kill my family. It doesn't bother me much anymore, but I practically have no friends, and other than two teachers I trust nobody. Thank you very much for this. Nobody really ever bothered asking these things.
They shouldn't, there is usually confidentiality so they are legally not allowed to tell anyone unless you are going to physically harm yourself or someone else. You should ask them about confidentiality before bringing it up.
I think unless you're 18 (a legal adult) they have the right to tell your parents. But you should tell your parents anyway. I know its hard, but it's better than you having a heart attack one day and leaving them to feel guilty that they had no idea what was happening in your life.
They may.. I wish there was a more clear cut answer.. but people have told me varying things that have happened. I know as a therapist I don't have to tell your parents anything unless you are a danger to yourself or someone else. Also, once 18 I legally cannot tell your parents anything without your written consent. xoxo
thx for this ha bisky vid i loved this a lot and i have a friend who realized they were addicted to certain cookies so they stopped buying them sometimes it is a choice most of the time its not or maybe the choice is just what we do about them but i know i stop eating when i am full and i only eat when i am hungry
I totally agree, but Kati I'm a bit confused... I feel as though around the time my ED began, I had been watching videos on UA-cam of yours about ED's a few weeks prior. I wouldn't exactly go as far as to say that you 'gave me ideas', but is it just a coincidence that my ED began a few weeks after beginning to watch your ED videos? I hope this doesn't mean I'm seeking attention? Not sure why it would, but I'm not. For some reason this makes me feel as though I 'chose' to have an ED?
The thing that is the most devastating about this misconception is that no one would EVER choose to go through what I (and anyone with an ED) have gone through. Not only that, but folks with EDs don't need to feel any more guilt than they already do. If you're reading this and you have an ED, I KNOW that you didn't choose this. I didn't either. It's not our fault.
Patty Arenson I completely agree with you!... I would never wish the hell it is, on anyone!!!
😞💔
I disagree. It is a choice. Only once when you recognize it is can you take the power back and start to heal. It is an addiction like every other addiction. It may feel like hell and be a horrible and hard thing to overcome...but it feels that way because you made those choices that led there. I am not trying to be harsh. I speak from experience.
@@lauracal8389 🙄
You are so right. None of us chose our "genes," as Kati mentioned. Hehehe! No one chooses to have an illness. I did not choose to experience the neurochemical imbalances, the bullying, the anxiety, the depression in my life... There are a few choices which we can make about how to respond to the ED, especially if we can listen to what our inner voice really wishes... Sometimes my bad voice has been so loud and overpowering that I could not find my true thoughts and feelings.
I personally don't believe it's a choice. It's a person way to excape all their pain.
Agreed. xoxo Thanks for sharing your thoughts :) xoxo
@@Katimorton do u have a disorder
I've never had a full- fledged eating disorder, but I do have some experience with restricting, binging, purging, etc. and a lot of experience with self harm. The way I see it is that on the behavioral level there is an element of choice (even if it doesn't always feel like that), but you don't choose to have the thoughts that lead you to the coping skill. I think to say that there's no choice is a bit dismal in terms of choosing recovery, but to say that it's all choice obviously ignores the real issues.
I love you Katie, you help me so much and I'm only 15 so I'm still scared of proper "therapy" or whatever but you help me with my anxiety, depression and eating disorder so much as you actually understand me! Thank you!!
I feel like I am choosing this lifestyle tho.
Your eating disorder is valid! Remember eating disorders are not a choice they are a mental illness.
Ik this was a long time ago and i often feel the same way but i think the whole thing is the urge to pursue that liftstyle and thoughts are not a choice but the continuing to choose the act on them and not go against them can be
@@eff0_o gosh my comment was 2 years ago? Feels like i said this yesterday. But i think u r right. Now i know its not a choice, i thought because i wasnt on the extreme side of an ed meant i didnt have one. Even though its not severe with me, i struggle with food every single day
@@katesierra6238 im so sorry to hear, it is such a miserable thing to deal w especially for so long. i believe in u and hope things get better and u find relief🖤
@@kirstycarlsson2919 feels like a choice
Hey kati, Here is another perspective to reveal how/why Eating disorders are not a "choice," but in fact, a mental illness. This may not be the case for all, so I'll just speak for myself. when I do an ED behavior, it's not because I just rationally and calmly decide to do so.. it's because there are overwhelming thoughts and or feelings, UNTIL I do such behaviors.. which often gives me some sense of necessary relief or safety. that's why I do these behaviors. because it's one of the only ways I can calm my thoughts, feelings, anxieties, etc. IT'S OFTEN THE ONLY WAY "THAT I KNOW HOW" TO "FEEL" SAFE. the negative thoughts and feelings become so overwhelming that it typically feels urgent for me to do ED behaviors. Also, not to be compared to, but I like to use OCD as an example... how one with OCD will usually have to perform rituals/behaviors in order to relieve their anxieties, even if just momentarily. anyway, just wanted to share. :) xo
Hi Shandi,
Thanks for sharing your story. I suffered with anorexia and bulimia for 14 years. I most likely would have died. Last year I found the strength to heal myself internally and externally.
I felt a loss of control in my life at the age of 12, which is why I starved myself. It was the only thing I felt I could control in my life.
I noticed you mentioned that your ED made you "feel safe". Can you please explain more about this?
I should be sleeping rn, but I really like your videos heh
Same
Thank you for this video! I was in an abusive household and was anorexic to escape it all. It was an awful coping skill and I'm 98% recovered.
I am so glad you liked it!!! And way to go on your recovery!! Keep at it!! You are amazing :) xoxo
loved hearing your opinion on this from a professional point of view! You rock!
Awe thanks!! So glad you liked it :) xoxo
I chose my ed, one day I told myself I didn’t want to feel fat anymore so I was going to become anorexic. And I did. But then once I hit my goal weight I told myself I was going to stop but I couldn’t. I feel like it might be a choice to some in the sense that you would like to start having an Ed but once you get into it you don’t really have any control or choices anymore
Exactly same with me. At first I did it to control my body. But then when I wanted to stop it becamecharder and harder. I wish in ever started.
In my opinion, eating disorders fall on the same spectrum as addiction or the "ism" in general. Over eating, not eating, drinking, drugs, gambling, shopping, agoraphobia are all unhealthy ways to cope with reality. They are learned and some people's bodies tend to lean towards these unhealthy mechanisms for a myriad of reasons. Thank god for the 12 steps because they can be literally applied to all of these things!
I couldn't agree more :) xoxo Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!
I agree. I also believe that initially the act of not eating, over eating, bulemia only develops into addiction after you make The Choice to initially start doing it. The Choice to do it initially is probably related to anxiety, social phobia, depression, bpd, etc. So in my opinion initially it is a choice that develops to an addiction.
Hey Kati! I was wondering if you would do a video on "how to know when you need inpatient or residential treatment"? I think it would be a great topic!
Agreed
Hey Kati! Is it the same with suicide? people have told me suicide is a choice but I really don't agree with this.
Preach.
Siobhan D, I agree with you. Those who take their own lives often have mental illnesses, so their brains are not working properly. So suicide makes sense to them but not to the rest of us.
Kati, I love your videos. They are really helping me get through the situation that I am in. I suffer from Tourette's Syndrome as well as GAD, SAD, and MDD. On top of that, I have severe body image issues that lead to me restricting calories. I do binge like maybe once a month, though. My brain makes me think that I am fat even though I have been told that I am too thin for a guy.My medication has made me gain what I consider a significant amount of weight even though it put me in the optimal "healthy" range, I still feel fat. I am ashamed of my body. I've been in treatment for years now and taken over 12 meds and I have never felt any relief. I'm in an almost constant state of despair that is only alleviated when I self-harm. Last night I had to go to the hospital for staples because I cut too deep. I'm seeing an amazing therapist right now, but it doesn't help me. She has also suffered from Tourette's Syndrome and that is what we seem to be focusing on in my therapy two therapy sessions I have had with her. I have trouble bringing up my self-harm with her because I hate drawing attention to it. However, I'm just getting so tired and want to quit again. I almost feel like I'm suicidal again and I'm self-harming more than ever. Nursing school is reeking havoc on my mental health. How do I find the strength to keep going on when there is no end in sight? I'm losing the battle with my illness and I need relief. How do I overcome my SAD and GAD? I don't have any friends and I'm so lonely. As an add on, would you know why I've never found any therapeutic effect from all the different meds I've been on? The only exception to this being the Ativan that I started taking three days ago. It helps with my anxiety tremendously, but that leaves me focusing on my depression and I almost feel all the worse for it.
Hi Kati.
Been watching your videos since 2013? I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression & anxiety after being bullied. I resorted to unhealthy coping skills such as self-harm and alcohol. I used to get panic attacks all the time and anxiety ruled my life. It is now 2016 and I am in my senior year of high-school and I have moved out from home to be closer to town (I come from a rural area) Everything is working out so great! I haven't had any PTSD, depression or anxiety in a long time. I have been intentionally clean for 2 years and 8 months. I consider myself recovered and now I am just in love with everything in my life. Your videos (as well as support from friends, family & teachers) do this. Be proud.
Hey!! I recognize your picture and know you have been watching for awhile (although if I remember correctly your username used to be different.. haha) :) Thank you so much for updating me and I am SO PROUD of how far you have come!!! xoxo Thank you for being a part of this community :) xxoo
Hey Kati, You are just so Awesome!!
Awe thanks Megan!! xoxo
thank you so much. been wondering all my life. love you ..
Thank you for your compassionate response. I have stopped myself from getting help because I am scared because people might judge me for 'choosing' this illness.
I love this channel, like really. I was with a lot of psychiatres, but no one really helps me so i don't want to see them anymore.
I was watching the video, and i litteraly understand what was my problem.
I love hearing about all the problem that someone van have.
You make me want to learn psychology in collège i'm serious. Thanks for everything.
I think you are brilliant. You are in the right field and doing on this earth what God put you here to do. Thank you.
I, very much, appreciated this video! I struggle with an eating disorder while working on childhood abuse. It feels like so much of my life needs to be a secret; and, this is one of them! I know that I will find better, healthier ways of coping in the future. But, it felt "sweet" to hear a wee bit of validation, that it isn't unusual. That this is temporary and I am on the road to recovery! A thank you for reminding me!! Colleen
I wish you all the best on your road to recovery Colleen!
I suffered with an ED for 14 years. Last year, I decided to heal myself by choosing life. I'm so much happier!
this helped me understand a friends mindset a lot better
Great video like always! Eating disorders are definitely NOT a choice. I would never CHOOSE to really and truly believe that ice cream was a bad food that would make me fat if I even ate one bite (that is an example from my past). I love ice cream! I did get past that, and now eat ice cream like a normal person, but it took a long, long time in order for me to get there.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience :) xoxo I am glad you were able to overcome that ED thought!! xoxo
Thank you so much for making a video this is makes me feel so much better 💜 you're great at everything you do! 💜
Yes I do agree that eating disorders are not a choice I’m loving testament to that it’s a struggle it is a coping mechanism
Your videos are really impressive. You’re very effective with changing peoples minds.
I do overeat to cope. I don't really have anyone to talk to so I eat. I know it's damaging my health.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this.. I hope you are able to get some support from a therapist or possibly use my ED workbook as well :) xoxo
Hi Michael,
What triggers you to overeat? Can I ask what you struggle to cope with?
Again.. personal choice. Work out bud. Sorry nor sorry
yeah, you're right. i used to restrict when i was in a very bad situation mentally because i hated myself and thought i was disgusting and filthy regarding my personality and feelings but i couldn't do anything on the inside so i tried to make myself better on the outside to compensate. also i did it as self harm because honestly going many hours without food is fucking painful physically. nowadays i managed to get it under control but i still catch myself reducing my food intake whenever i go through really stressful periods.
Hey Kati, love your videos, thank you for being so passionate about these topics and sticking up for folks who really need it. You're a lifesaver
Yes I've heard this a lot and I believed it. For years I avoided help because I was convinced it was a choice. It's inky even I seriously wanted to stop and couldn't that I accepted it wasn't a choice.
This is so amazing. Thanks for sharing this it makes me feel less alone and worth recovery! Thank you so much Kati
Please make a video on crippling anxiety?
#KatiFAQ I was put on anti-depressants 2 months ago.. After a month we noticed I stabilised but my mood was really low.. We upped the dose a couple of weeks ago and I ended up suicidal and self harming from negative thoughts... I stopped taking my medication yesterday and have felt a lot better... My doctor plans to monitor me over the next week off the meds... But is it possible they did the complete op and put me in a darker place?? Btw Love your videos - thank you for all that you do on helping to break the stigma!
It is actually possible. If you look up the side effects of basically all ani-depressants they say may increase depression and suicidal thoughts. Also at least in my experience being zombified on meds is very similar to depression in that it suppresses emotion. For me depression isn't sadness or hopelessness it's a complete lack of emotion alltogaether so in that regards what medication does is very similar.
This is really tricky. Because I think that on the one hand nobody chooses a mental illness. Nobody gives themselves an eating disorder, it is not their choice and not their fault.
But on the other hand they are the only one who can choose to recover. And it is their responsibility to get help and get better. Which kind of sucks, if you think about it, but I think that's where a lot of people get it mixed together and talk about it being a choice. We have to choose recovery.
Thank you I hate it when people just turn round and say stop doing it well I want to but it's not that simple I don't think my therapist understands it either the same as self harm she told me that there is nothing wrong with me doing it it's a coping skill well I want help with it not to be told normal people do it too just makes me feel stupid for wanting help
I'm so glad you made this video! Now I can show this to my family, for I lack the ability to explain it to them as to how it's actually not a choice for me. Thank you! 💕
How long have you been struggling with an ED, Alexandria?
Hi Kati! Can you do more videos on BPD?
I definitely can!! xxo Anything about it you want to know??
***** I've heard a lot of people say that people with BPD have a tendency to 'adapt' other people's personalities in their presence (Kind of like when a chameleon camouflages itself). Can you elaborate on that?
Your videos are always on point. Thank You.
Is there a way to know whether the behaviour is a coping skill or not? This seems to be the main "criterium" for disordered eating to become an eating disorder, but I personally have no idea whether my restriction and purging are a way of coping or just my illogical way of trying to lose weight.
100% a choice
Especially ARFID.
Personally I think its a choice at the beginning. From my experience anyway. I whole-heartedly believe I talked myself into an ED.
But was it a disorder in the beginning? a person can committ ED behaviors and not actually have the eating disorder mental illness. it could however lead to developing one for real. I've known many people who had tried different ed behaviors for a while, but it didn't stick. they moved on and never looked back. they didn't actually have the illness. in the beginning I didn't think I did... but mine unfortunately developed into one for real. remember, it's not technically a medical "disorder" unless it's negatively affecting or impairing your ability to function in everyday life (such as keep relationships, jobs, etc.) OR if u meet the criteria for the disorder and are diagnosed by the appropriate professional(s). AND that does NOT, in any way, discredit the seriousness or severity of anyone suffering symptoms WITHOUT meeting criteria for a disorder.
And sorry to hear that u suffer(ed) from an eating disorder my dear. hugs. xo
Shandi Land Yes I know this. I have USFED restricting type one. I've been diagnosed by a professional and I take a Psych class at Harvard University. I know what I'm taking about. I knew everything about EDs because of my class so I talked myself into one.
Shandi Land thanks .hugs.
It might have seemed like a choice, but having an ED is a coping mechanism. Whatever you were experiencing to talk yourself into controlling (or losing control) on your eating in some way. Yes, it can feel like a choice, especially when MANY people "try" the symptoms for a while and then stop. The crucial aspect is directing the stress around food. Regardless, "choice" is a strong word, and i believe recovery is the one to bear it.
You're so cool! These videos help so much! Can you please do a video on the 'binge eating'/extreme hunger side of recovering from anorexia and how to cope with weight gain in recovery. It is easy for people to think you have 'recovered' just because you're WR but how does this play into being mentally better? Is it normal for this to set you back in your recovery? What are some healthy coping skills to deal with this? Sorry for so many questions! Thank you Kati 😊 xx
Thank you so much for this xxx ❤️ I'm restricting my food and hurting myself physically just as a way of trying to cope I wish people knew it wasn't a choice I didn't choose to do or live like this this it's the only way I can survive at the moment :( xxxx
To anyone who is inetersted in the topic : Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. LIFE SAVING!!
PS: I agree with you on how ED works as a safety blanket. You have those overwhelming thoughts almost unconsciously. BUT it's your choice whether you let these thoughts have an emotional pressure on you and as a consequence start acting out certain ED behaviours or carry on with your life no matter how harsh the circumstances are. So the thoughts are not a choice but how you react is your personal responsibility. We tend to use our circumstances (family background, lack of confidence etc etc) as excuses. As a matter of fact there's no "ideal" time for recovery. The longer you hesitate the harder it gets to break the old disordered habits and recreate the routine of normal eating.
Have you got a video on how to help your friend with her feelings?
this video was in higher resolution than my eyes
Kati, I was wondering what you thought about the controversy surrounding UA-camr Eugenia Cooney. Everyone seems to want to help her, even Onision. I'm just not sure people are approaching it the right way. What if her fans are making her worse or what if she is causing her fans to develop eating disorders?
I feel like the videos directed at Eugenia Cooney are spreading a lot of misinformation about anorexia and stigmatizing mental illness. Chances are, these response videos are more damaging to anorexic girls than people claim that Eugenia Cooney allegedly is, as they are sending the message that it is shameful to have a mental illness. I fear that anorexic teens will see these response videos and be afraid to go see a doctor and get diagnosed. Also, looking at pictures of underweight girls and wishing to look like them is most likely a symptom of anorexia rather than a cause. Another thing to point out is that we do not know what Eugenia has for a fact just based upon looking at her. Many physical and mental health issues are characterized by extreme weight loss, so she could have any number of things. I really hope that she is receiving proper treatment if she really is sick with a life-threatening illness, but she does absolutely have a right to confidentiality in terms of her diagnosis and medical treatment that she chooses to pursue.
I don't know how I feel about this. I don't have an eating disorder but I chose to become a vegetarian because that was something that could be mine, that I could control, that could give me some control in my life, and so I could show that I have will power to not eat meat. so basically I chose this and it helps me have control.
I don't think I have an eating disorder, but sometimes I eat atrociously. Yesterday I ate 4 oz of fudge in about 30 min. Then I came home and ate a rice dinner by myself that was meant to serve four people. I can understand the guilt so many people feel over their eating disorders. There is a lot of guilt mixed in with a lot of eating disorders. I think that is one of the worst things about eating disorders - the guilt.
Found this video very interesting. I hope you and everyone reading this has a good day ☺️☺️💕
Hey Kati! I think it would be great if u could talk about depersonalization disorder? I would love to learn more about it because I have had out of body episodes multiple times (what I know so far I don't have it I have never been to a doctor about it but I have experienced it). I would also like to learn more about anxiety (especially panic attacks) I love watching ur videos so much! Have a good day xoxo💗💗
I have an eating problem but I dont think its classed as a disorder (just a symptom of the depression). I dislike most foods, food grosses me out, people eating grosses me out, the process of having to eat at certain points in the day is annoying, and I wish I could just skip meals but I know thats not healthy so I force myself to eat anything I have the slightest chance of wanting to eat. and there are foods I like some of the time, and very rarely there may be foods I always like. Not eating is also a slightly pleasant feeling sometimes as well, not having to stomach something no matter how small (because even when I eat its smaller portions of a full meal some to most of the time) and sometimes skipping 2 courses of food (I have to have dinner always at the same time which is annoying), especially before, it made me feel in control I suppose. And overall I dont actually undereat too much, and I definitely don't have anorexia because I dont think I'm not skinny enough at all and I dont want to be skinnier, I'm aware I should eat more and that I am too light, but when it comes down to it I can't stomach much and forcing myself to even half full makes me feel sick and uncomfortable, and if I dont like something at that moment I will not eat it I'm sorry but I trust my warped instincts over force eating.
anyway sorry about the text spill, just typing this put has made me realise a thing or two. thanks to any who made it to the end here sorry about the overshare :)
Hey Kati! I am 16 and I live with my mother and my fifteen year old sister. My mother (though not officially diagnosed) has BPD and my sister also has some quite severe mental illnesses. Both of them talk about suicide, but I don't think that they would go through with it in the near future. My question is, do I have a responsibility to tell someone about this? I talk to teachers sometimes but I always avoid saying anything that they might have to report.
The real question is how much do you love them and could you live your life without them. If the answer is no to the latter then you should tell someone. If your teachers won't listen or you don't think they'll take you seriously talk to a school counselor it's their job to help students emotionally get through school and they should be able to refer your mother and sister to a therapist or psychiatrist depending on the situation.
Also if you don't want them to feel betrayed or something like that try talking to them about it. You may be able to convince them to seek help on their own. Let them know that suicidal thoughts, whether your depressed or not, are always a bad thing. Thoughts that reccur tend to get stronger as they are thought of more and eventually become actions. Even if you have to sacrifice some of their trust in you by telling someone it's sad but worth their lives.
Billy Newman thank you so much for your reply. My mother and my sister have both refused to see psychologists, neither of them think that they need any help. I'm worried that if I disclose too much to my teachers then they will have to contact child protective services, and my sister and I really don't have anywhere to go...
Ultimately you can't help someone who does not want the help. It's a very sad situation that you're in and telling someone can get a refferal to psychologists but if they don't want to go they don't have to. The only time people are usually forced into care is if they are seen as a threat to themselves or others. In this situation really the only option is to convince them that they need help. They have to want the help which can be very hard to do. I myself am bipolar and in the past I did not want any treatment whatsoever. In my position it felt like a handicap to need medication and that I needed to be changed in order for society to accept me. That may be how they feel or they could just be in total denial. If you think about it in their perspective how would you like to be talked to. Hope this helps. Don't give up :)
Kati, the lockdowns have provided a perfect environment for the development or resurfacing of an eating disorder.
I think it's more of an unconscious choice based off on past experience, as that determines behavior. So yeah there's an element of choice to mental illness, but it's conditioning how to behave a certain ways for years and years that cements itself where it may be hard to just break out of particular mindset
I eat and eat and eat so that I can die and so it doesn't look like suicide. Then insurance will pay out to family. I've gone from size 12 to size 24 so far. I can't tell anyone what I am doing. I'm waiting for dbt will that help
This is so weird. When I was struggling with my ED...I did it as a way to cope with my depression which my parents were beginning to see. I think way back then I was struggling to be "okay" with needing help & with leaning on other people. That trusting & depending on someone else from time to time WAS NORMAL. I'm still puzzled as to what lead me to that thought process? My parents think its abandonment issues because I was very premature and all by myself in a incubator for 3 months. I'm not sure. I'm intrigued.
very well said. thank you!
I'm in France as an exchange student and it's horrible, like she said everything is out if my control and I'm extremely anxious all the time. I'm also having trouble sleeping even thoung I'm very tired, I'm always cold never mind how warm it is and since they eat allot more than what I'm used to in Germany in the first few weeks I gained weight (not much, for someone who doesn't know my body as well as I do it was not even noticeable) so I decided to eat less of the "main course" and more salad and fruit. Now I know that doesn't sound too bad but sometimes I'm surprised at how little I eat and feel full. I'm just worried that restricting the main meal like that and mainly eating fruit and vegetables might turn into an eating disorder. And if it does, wasn't it my choice for restricting?
I don't understand why my sister adopted it as a coping skill when I was growing up though. I had a very fun upbringing as did my brother and never could understand what triggered it with her. Same home, parents, etc. I must've missed something. All I can recall is maybe my dad not paying nearly as much attention to her when me and my brother (we're twins) came along. Even at the time I saw it as maybe a coping skill to get my dad's attention.
I disagree. As somebody who has been hospitalized multiple times for anorexia binge/purge subtype over the past 10 years, every time I restricted, binged, vomited, or exercised, it was a conscientious decision. I knew the consequences of my behaviors, yet still chose to do them anyway. Taking personal responsibility for my actions and recognizing my active participation in unhealthy behaviors was a crucial part in me recognizing that I had the power to make a change. Anorexia wasn't something that just happened to me; I worked very hard to get to the very ill state I was in (and later worked even harder to recover). While I did not choose to fear weight gain, fixate endlessly on food or body image, suffer from crippling depression, or have a penchant for routine, I was a willing participant in my disease and chose every single day to prioritize my eating disorder over other things in life.
TL;DR This might be semantics, but I would argue that in many respects eating disorders both are and are not a choice. We do not choose to have the fears, desires, and underlying biology that drive us to lose weight or overeat, but ultimately we do choose to act on those feelings and engage in self destructive behavior.
Lazy Alchemist well said.
love this, love you!
Love your channel 💕
My eating disorder started out as a self harm behaviour, and then it grew from there... eating disorders themselves are NOT a choice in any way, shape, or form. It is a monster that lives inside your head, it's mental illness thoughts that truly are not your own, they're the disorder. We do not WANT to think or feel the way we do, it is our mental illness, and it makes us feel better in a way, as she says it's a coping mechanism, and yet it makes us also feel horrible, because trying to battle those thoughts only seems to make it worse, especially if you have no one to support you.
Can my ED come back? I thought it was gone all year but then things got really bad and I started again without even thinking about it and I lost weight.
Good video to educate people
Hi Kati! I'm new to your channel yay! I have some questions to elaborate on this question. My distorted eating patterns are kind of still new so I'm still not sure to the answer to this question for me. I'm using food restriction for validation, maybe if I get skinnier people will like me better so I'll have friends, to get more support and validation from my doctor and therapist for attention from feeling too lonely all the time. My therapist also said I restrict as a desire to have health problems to elicit a caring response from my professionals, which that part is completely true. Is this a choice and eating disorder behaviors or an actual eating disorder?
Oh my god, I've been watching all of Kati's videos on eating disorders in an effort to convince myself I don't have one because I don't do it for a lot of the reasons she describes. But what you just described fits my behaviors so well. I still don't know though, is this an actual eating disorder....or do I just want attention?
Why would someone think that we choose to starve our selves?
I don’t think it’s a choice. But it’s hard for me to not blame it on myself. I mean I was the one who started eating less and less. I was the one who decided to stop eating lunch and breakfast. Sometimes it’s hard for me to see it as a coping mechanism for myself. But I didn’t start it to lose weight. I have just always felt like I take up to much space. Or I’m a waste of space. I don’t know. I don’t necessarily think I have a full eating disorder. It’s confusing.
I guess I thought that coping was a choice and indicated psychological weakness but I'm no longer going to beat myself up over my binges even though my family is angry about me for some reason.
It’s like I have a choice to whether I make myself throw up or not, but I don’t have a choice of feeling fat everyday and feeling like I have to overeat everyday
I can relate even if my binge-eating sometimes ends up with BFRB instead. could you please make a video of your thoughts on BFRB (Body focused repetitive behaviors) and what you think would help the most! love your videos BTW!
Not to forget the genetic component that puts some of us at higher risks of eating disorders.
I wonder about this myself sometimes... Because when I was struggling with something the natural thing for me to do was to self harm. I have no idea why my mind came up with that as a solution. Nobody told me about it. So I used to think that self harming in certain situation is a totally normal thing and that surely everybody does it, right? Obviously I was wrong about that and I still wonder how others do it. What does their mind tell them to do if they are in a stressful situation? I think this is a good example of how it's not simply a choice but a necessity. Because if my mind had offered me different coping mechanism, I probably would have chosen a less destructive one. But instead, self harm seemed like the only way out, so I did it.
Great video Kati! :)
After I make myself throw up, I always feel happy
It’s a choice at first. Or people with and ED feel like they don’t have a choice when they do. But after a while it isn’t a choice anymore
Dear Kati, I think for mani years I have been hiding an eating disorder for many years because there were not consistent. I have had people in my family that have told me that I am a hypochondriac so I tend to hide things especially until I know for sure what it is. Lately though I have been diagnosed with panic, anxiety and now depression and my emotions are running away from me, the only thing I can piece together is at least two times a week I purge the small amount of food I eat during that day ( I do not binge) although) this may not be full criteria yet I feel I am planning on doing it more. I’m a little scared should I tell my therapist? She is going to think I’m already nuts. Thank you
When it comes to other people, I don't believe it's a choice. But when it comes to me, I believe it is. Maybe it's because I think I deserve it. Maybe it's because I'm not underweight yet. I don't know why, but I just don't see my symptoms as valid.
Can you do a video on orthorexia and if it overlaps with anorexia. Or is it a part of EDNOS/OSFED? I went vegan and gluten free and some people think i have an eating disorder because i only eat foods i think are healthy.
I have a livestream where I talk about orthorexia.. but I can definitely do another one. Here is my video on vegetarian/vegan and EDs. xoxo ua-cam.com/video/VuT9oI43Fu0/v-deo.html I hope that helps! xox
I’m so confused. I don’t feel guilty after purging, only after overeating. Yet I still purge as a coping skill. But I don’t have any trauma, at least not anything in the last 5 years. I just don’t get it.
I had an eating disorder because I lost control over my life. I had shitty friends at that time who controlled almost everything of me. One day I had that thought that if I was fat nobody would like me and that was the point I decided to eat less. So it's a choice to eat less but it felt completely natural. It just seemed logical to me. Therefore my eating disorder wasn't really a choice but more like a resolution to my problems.
Hey Katie I just discharged from three months of residential,php, and iop Ed treatment I am now heading home and I am scared of relapse especially being In and out of treatment this year and having to go back to school for the first time in a really long time and it's a new school what do I do?
is this the same as just not feeling like eating at all when im depressed or nervous? my apetite as almost desapeared for a couple of months and i can ingest very little food before i start to feel disgust.
thanks for this
Hi Kati, I'm only 12 and I don't know if I'm depressed or not. I've taken multiple quizzes and all of them have said that I am but I don't want to go to my school counselor and not have an illness. I don't know what to do. I also don't want to be judged.
One thing you'll learn in life, is that many people will judge you. The important thing is that you ignore them.
I feel it's important to feel comfortable sharing your feelings of depression with an adult or school counselor. Don't let society make your mental health a "taboo" subject. Your happiness is important =)
I have a question. I know dieting and weight loss do not equate to anorexia but I have been very hesitant to start dieting because I am afraid it might turn into anorexia. I did a 3 month experiment and lost some weight but throughout the process I was very worried so I halted it. My question is, what are the safety precautions someone can do to lose weight safely without turning into anorexia?
StrangleNdie if you don't have the gene to carry anorexia, you won't get it. I'd say if you have lost weight already and not already experienced AN, you don't have the gene. Well, from my experience anyway. Don't trust me haha!
I struggled with anorexia and bulimia for 14 years. I competed in sports all my life. No one knew that I was suffering inside. Finally, one year ago, I chose to heal myself and I been in recovery for ever since. It's a beautiful feeling.
You wouldn't become anorexic from simply dieting, per say. What is your reasoning for wanting to lose weight?
Like the E-8 lattice in the background ;)
Hi Kati! I love your videos. I watch them all. Quick question: I know you're not an MD but you're in the ED field so I thought you might have an idea. Why is it possible for my heart to be affected by my eating habits even if I'm not underweight? I was recently in the hospital for ED heart complications and I was pretty much the only one there who wasn't underweight which was kinda confusing for me. Any ideas? Thanks!
It definitely could be.. electrolyte levels can affect our heart/cause heart attacks. I am not sure if you had been purging, but I have had that happen to many of my bulimic clients. Also, losing weight and gaining weight can be hard on our bodies as well.. but I would definitely ask your doctors more about this so you can better understand what's going on and what caused it. xoxo
I don't know if what I have is an eating disorder.. I constantly consider starving myself and tell myself I'm fat. I'll eat when I'm hungry however my appetite is extremely small. I eat about three meals a week.. I'm not underweight nor am I at a healthy weight. I'm very embarrassed to eat around people because I feel constantly judged or watched. I can go a very long period of time without eating and without feeling hungry. I don't know what's wrong.. and I've been trying to get on a healthy meal schedule but it's not working I assume because of my mindset towards my life and body.
And thank you for this, I'm gonna try and get my parents to watch it, they definitely think I'm doing this by choice. It's hard to get their support when they think I'm doing it because I want too.
Hi Danyka,
I noticed you wrote "I assume because of my mindset towards my life and body". Can I ask, how do you currently view your life and body?
Monica Johnson Hi! Well, I'll try to start eating better and I'll give up because Ill see it being pointless, I think of suicide quite often aswell so sometimes I'll just tell myself that I'll just do that and it won't matter, But I've never committed suicide. Part of me always says that I'm fine the way I am and I don't have to starve or whatever but another part of me always tells me to eat healthy and be healthy.. Nothing ever works. I just think I'm better off dead most of the time. I've messed myself up too much.
Let's start with your desire to eat better. Are you choosing to eat better to obtain a certain "body type"? Or are you choosing to eat healthier for a different reason.
Having suicidal thoughts is a very serious issue. What are aspects of your life that make you feel depressed or hopeless?
Monica Johnson I wanna eat better, knowing that I'll become a healthy and society acceptable weight. I'm not looking to just be "thin" i want to be thin and healthy, not even "thin" JUST not overweight.
Also, I've been bullied for a great amount of my life, thankfully it no longer happens, at School. Im currently in my last year of high school. It's also very hard at home for multiple reasons. The only reason I think I'm still here is because i know if I were to do it, i would kill my family. It doesn't bother me much anymore, but I practically have no friends, and other than two teachers I trust nobody.
Thank you very much for this. Nobody really ever bothered asking these things.
If I tell my school counciler I'm bulimic would they tell my dad, I'm 16 which in the uk is old enough to move out by myself
They shouldn't, there is usually confidentiality so they are legally not allowed to tell anyone unless you are going to physically harm yourself or someone else. You should ask them about confidentiality before bringing it up.
I think unless you're 18 (a legal adult) they have the right to tell your parents. But you should tell your parents anyway. I know its hard, but it's better than you having a heart attack one day and leaving them to feel guilty that they had no idea what was happening in your life.
They may.. I wish there was a more clear cut answer.. but people have told me varying things that have happened. I know as a therapist I don't have to tell your parents anything unless you are a danger to yourself or someone else. Also, once 18 I legally cannot tell your parents anything without your written consent. xoxo
No because when I started I did not Know what ED was I have now relised how sick my patterns Are I binge and restrict I binge Till I puke sometimes
anorexia has ruined my life :( and i hate it when people tell me i chose to be this way and i should just eat. it doesn't work that way
I was having this discussion with my friend today! That's really creepy
Thumbs up for the Kal-toh in the background!
I’m just not hungry anymore, I always worry about my weight, and try to under eat. My Family makes me eat, and usually I hide it or something.
thx for this ha bisky vid i loved this a lot and i have a friend who realized they were addicted to certain cookies so they stopped buying them
sometimes it is a choice most of the time its not or maybe the choice is just what we do about them but i know i stop eating when i am full and i only eat when i am hungry
I totally agree, but Kati I'm a bit confused... I feel as though around the time my ED began, I had been watching videos on UA-cam of yours about ED's a few weeks prior. I wouldn't exactly go as far as to say that you 'gave me ideas', but is it just a coincidence that my ED began a few weeks after beginning to watch your ED videos? I hope this doesn't mean I'm seeking attention? Not sure why it would, but I'm not. For some reason this makes me feel as though I 'chose' to have an ED?
Loooveeee you katii xx
i remember when i actually wanted to be anorexic to lose weight. the thought is still kinda there but i ended up still eating.