Sandwich Method To Criticize Your Spouse | انتقاد ساندویچی از همسر

Sandwich Method To Criticize Your Spouse | انتقاد ساندویچی از همسر
Sandwich method to criticize your spouse
Psychology with Dr. Halima Bassfat
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Psychology
Dr. Halimeh Basefat
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Another technique of constructive criticism is called the "sandwich method" in which one sandwiches the meat of a criticism between two positive comments.
Hence, instead of saying "You did a lousy job writing this report," using the sandwich method one could say "You did a great job on the introduction,
but the middle section and conclusion seem a little weak. With a bit more work, I'm sure you can tighten it up into a really good report."
It's also important to keep in mind that how you say things matters as much as what you say. If you want to deliver constructive criticism skillfully it's
helpful to practice using "I-statements" rather than "You-statements."
The difference between an I-statement and a You-statement is simple. Consider the following rant an aggrieved mother might vent on her teenage child:
"You never come home on time! You think that everything should run on your schedule, but the rest of the family can't always just wait around for you!
Why can't you be more considerate?" Thus: "You never... You think... Why can't you..." All You-statements.
In contrast, I-statements go like this: "I get really upset when I've fixed a family dinner and you're not here on time. In the future,
please try harder to get home on time, or call if you're running late."
Here's another typical example. A spouse says: "I can't believe how selfish you are! All you do is sit around expecting to be waited on and don't even
help with the dishes." That's a pretty critical You-message, right? Compare it to an I-message: "I would really appreciate it if you helped me around
the house more especially with the dishes."
Or, "You could call your mother more than once a month, you know" vs. "I think your mother would love to hear from you more often."
So, unless you are praising someone, You-statements are usually combative. Any complaint that starts with a "you" is often hostile and will usually be
felt as destructive criticism.
To summarize:
Try the "sandwich method" as much as possible.
Practice requesting positive change in the future instead of complaining about current behavior.
Deliver your messages in the form of I-statements rather than You-statements.
Finally, keep in mind that giving criticism is a skill that, like all skills, can be mastered through learning and practice.
Remember: Think well, act well, feel well, be well!
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