Keep your goals to yourself | Derek Sivers
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- www.ted.com After hitting on a brilliant new life plan, our first instinct is to tell someone -- but Derek Sivers says it's better to keep goals secret. He presents research stretching as far back as the 1920s to show why people who talk about their ambitions may be less likely to achieve them.
TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes. Featured speakers have included Al Gore on climate change, Philippe Starck on design, Jill Bolte Taylor on observing her own stroke, Nicholas Negroponte on One Laptop per Child, Jane Goodall on chimpanzees, Bill Gates on malaria and mosquitoes, Pattie Maes on the "Sixth Sense" wearable tech, and "Lost" producer JJ Abrams on the allure of mystery. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, development and the arts. Closed captions and translated subtitles in a variety of languages are now available on TED.com, at www.ted.com/tra.... Watch a highlight reel of the Top 10 TEDTalks at www.ted.com/ind...
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Once I stopped talking about my goals in a way that excited me, I noticed I became a bigger risk taker. Thanks, TED & Derek Sivers
I stopped procrastinating as a way to not fail. For a long time i was in the habit of "you cant fail if you don't try" and this helped break it a lot.
@@AdidasCL4SS1CS is that correlated with not talking about your goals?
Honestly not telling people, especially family about my goals was kinda hard in the beginning but the best thing I’ve ever learnt. Keep your mouth shut. Keep it to yourself. This is so important, trust me.
People will plant seeds into your mind that might make you question your goals or completely discourage you. Zip it.
That's what my girlfriend now ex did, I had told her I wanted to have a PhD in psychology, given my age of 45 she said it was impossible and if I did it who would hire me compared to hiring younger
But you can flip that 180 degrees. Telling the right person can be an enabler.
@@UpwardSpiralBren rare to find those people most people don’t care or care enough to discourage you
@@SO01j20 I agree 100%. We should be careful about whom we tell. And WHY we tell them. When clients tell me their goals it's always in strict confidence. They're not looking for (and they don't get) any congratulations because they haven't yet done any of the WORK!
@@SO01j20 true it so rare to find those people honestly most people are depressed and want you to be down In the pits of misery with them as will plant doubt in your mind so from now on I’m keeping my mouth closed with my goals it’s real peaceful it’s like you can practice without the worry of judgement like how can people huge without knowing they can’t 🙂
My next goal is to keep my mouth shut about all my other goals.
*****
wheres my comment
+eliezer this is what we call irony
*****
no
Lol!
😂😂😂
Reminds me of the saying 'Work in silence, let success make the noise'
Hey, I made a similar video about my experiences with this as well if your interested click this link:
"Why You Shouldn't Tell People about Your Plans & Dreams!!" --> www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdRN9
@@Muratzhangabayev974 good one
True
So true. I used to tell people I would do this and that. Never fucking did anything, made me feel good in the moment though. Now I've learnt to not say anything and things usually get completed.
+Tangkwa Junsuta lolz me 2
👐✌👣
Tangkwa Junsuta yes
Hey, I made a similar video about my experiences with this as well if your interested click this link:
"Why You Shouldn't Tell People about Your Plans & Dreams!!" --> www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdRN9
Exactly
There is also the point, that when you tell about your plans to people, very many of them do not really want you to succeed. They want you to stay stuck because if you achieve something, it reminds them of their own laziness or inability to make progress in their lives. They give you bad energy, minimize you and there you are!
you are so right I have stopped telling anyone my dreams and goals even my own loved ones and family I won't share my dreams with them I will keep them to myself.
+Sanna Lahti reminds me of dj khaled
+Sanna Lahti Indeed, and there are people who just cheat your goals and ideas and let you down. My school is full of such students, so it's better to hide!
Charu Sahu Take your goal to get known to people who support you! (But do not tell about this goal to anyone :)) And then, you will see that there are also people who support you. But just look carefully first with what kind of people you're with! Usually, people who have done what they like to do and been successful and who are genuinely happy, like to support other people. Those. who have done nothing and feels themselves unsuccessful or victims, do not support you. Be with happy people! They do not let you down! :)
+Sanna Lahti Thanks :) for the advice. In my school the classmates couldn't be trusted though, they just tease the studious ones and let them down, they try to improve themselves but just demotivate others. I'll take care of what you've said. :D
Don't talk, don't tell. Great idea
+Eliot Cloud This is a great idea! People want to know what you do! When you have plans that are not quite clear to thyself, it is even dangerous to talk to someone, who stuck to your idea, starts to give advises that are not useful etc. It is very disturbing. It is truly better to tell, what you have done and keep the rest for yourself until it is done! And accept advices only from professionals who have already done things and really know about things, not from friends who just have opinions but not real knowledge.
Sanna Lahti very true. Thanks
Mohammad said that old time أقضو حوائجكم بلكتمان
that's totally true. unless they are gonna work with you to achieve it.
@@beautifullife4406 pathetic
When I was a high school student, someone said that I couldn't attend my present university because this university was just for excellent students. After that, I set this university as my goal and made effort on a daily basis. I didn't tell anyone about my goal. Finally, I achieved my goal successfully. Thanks Mr. Derek Sivers
I just told someone my goal 2 minutes before watching this. I have to untell him now
Emmanuel o funny lol
same lmaoooo
Make the same goal, but then don't tell about it
Same thing happened this is why i searched it
You've to unalive them or you can use the MIB flashlight 🔦
Have always been a fan -- at least in young adulthood -- of keeping my head down and putting in the work. Silently succeeding can be very satisfying. It allows you to focus until you achieve some results. Also important to recognize that someone should only surround themselves with people who would support them regardless of their performance, as that's not a measure of self worth.
Words of wisdom!
I do this especially when im job hunting. Once i get the job, then i tell them.
yeah
this why i hate when people ask me what are your plans, i just give them the same old cliche "im in school hoping to get a degree soon" lol
exactly or tell them I'm doing nothing lol
yhh or i just say idk im just figuring it out
I'm self motivated, so this doesn't really apply to me, I have no desire to tell others my goals, why would others care about someone else's goals, except their mother.
and quite honestly, most people don't care about your goals.
I may tell someone about it only once, and never bring it up again. Only if they ask how's the project going, then I'll say something but if they don't ask, I don't tel..
So next time when people ask me what my goal is in life, I'll answer "it's secret".
Love it
So true it is.... because Buddha says "don't tell everyone about your plan just show them your result"...
I told people my goals, and I got support and met people, who helped me with knowledge, advice and motivation. That way I ran marathons, got board games published and started learning Spanish. Do what works for you!
Same, close to becoming a millionaire.. so things you have to.speak into existence.
Did U become millionaire now@@javoskiwhite6720
One of the best TED talk! Concise and to the point! Thanks 😇
Found this video after I told a friend one of my goals and was made to feel very stupid. A little too late. But I’m keeping that goal to myself moving forward
I thought it was only a jinx when I say my goals before doing it.
The problem is that I tell it to myself and that's enough for my brain to feel realized u_u
damn
same
Same
It will be great that if people around us are supportive to which encourage us to do whatever actions we hope to achieve, than we don't even need to remind ourselves anything at all
same here, maybe we should be more careful about the way we think
Remember that this assumes motivation is key to accomplishing the goal. It's best to depend on motivation as little as possible, because it's such a fickle thing.
I know it might be a little too late, but may I ask you what is there for you to take action aside from motivation? not trying to corner you but just wondering.
Adam Madam discipline.
Happiness in what you're doing is much more powerful than motivation, but you still need motivation
Discipline. Once you set a goal, you must have the discipline to do what you aimed to do. You must take the required steps every day. Even if you're not feeling motivated. Even if you think the goal you set isn't the best goal or that you should try to achieve something different.
Because those feelings are common in the middle of goal achieving, when the work starts to become too much. That's the fallacy of motivation, you keep looking at the prize, but sometimes even the prize is no longer enough to keep you pushing forward. "You know what, this is too much, I don't even want to be that ripped anyway, it won't bring me happiness, I want to quit..." And that's why you can't rely on motivation. You must complete your goals not because you're feeling motivated at the moment, but because you set the goal in the first place. You must complete that workout set as if it's your only and sole purpose in life, it must become the center of your universe at that moment. Developing that instinct of "either I do this rep or I die" is what pushes you to a point way beyond motivation alone could get you. IMO you need to be motivated when you set a goal but after that it's all discipline.
Obviously I'm using the example of lifting but this applies to any other tangible goal.
i remember i told a 'friend' about a goal to open a new business together by taking a course and he called it a scam. realized years later that he was always jealous of me
feeling my dream....and doing the best for everyday.... helps a lot to achieve the goal
The key is what he said toward the end. The best way to share your goal is without satisfaction: "I really need to run this marathon so I need to train 5 times per week". Sharing goals in this manner will actually increase your chances of achieving according to other studies. Especially if you provide weekly updates on your progress.
talking about your goals might make u overconfident and u may loose motivation as well as making u reckless. Thats what happened to me and I learned my lesson.
気付いてたようで気づかなかったこと。こうやって言葉にしてくれると次から行動に移せます。ありがとうございます。
Just a personal testimony: over the past few years (and before ever having seen this clip; dunno how I missed it but I did) I've noticed that any of my small programming projects that I get overly excited about and tell people about are now currently "sitting on the back burner" (probably to the point I completely forget about them) and the few I kept to myself to work on in secret I've finished already. XD
So, yeah, I'm doing what he said from now on. ^.^
unless you have social anxiety, like me. I tend to never reveal my truth (including my goals). However, telling people makes me anxious of failure so we actually do it.
So being an introvert does work well.
This is so true. It happened to me several times. I thought that by telling others, I was creating a sense of accountability, but then those people didn’t really hold me accountable, and so I ended up just not doing it.
Science or not, I watched this video about a month ago, and decided to follow his suggestion. It has worked more than I expected it to.
This explains a lot. Oy. I guess once the brainstorming is done I shut my mouth until the project itself is done!
totally the wave rn. gotta get to the goal before i boast about it. i hate when people ask what i want to do... nuns set in stone. i gotta do it first!
What if others can't relate to your goal or don't care at all? Often enough the naysayers are actually a boost in motivation.
It's a matter of maturity and dedication to follow through regardless of what others might think.
This is the best feedback. Sharing goal to all is not good , it is hijacked. share only a few who can help or in open universe where your rivals are away.Thnx
This analysis is based on very small time periods, perhaps the people who announced their goal, felt like their goal was already done, so they gave themselves a break, ENJOYED life, and succeeded a little down the road.
Is faster goal achievement better, or is easier, more relaxed goal achievement better? Is there a way to have both?
I've felt this phenomenon in my experience. Whenever I told people about my goals (even small ones), I eventually abandoned them.
But I've experienced another phenomenon lately as well. I've told about the goal of my life to my friend and I can't stop thinking about it. When I told her what I want to do in my life she started encouraging me and telling me that she's sure I'll get what I want. With her words my goal kind of became a 'responsibility' for me. Even when I sometimes want to abandon my goal I feel that responsibility, and I feel that if I stop taking steps to achieve what I want I will kind of 'betray' my friend and lose her trust.
I know it's just a feeling but it actually helps me to follow my goal.
I doubt this applies to everyone, I told many people about my biggest goal and still succeeded.
Lucky you. This is rare in todays cruel world. Keep going wish you good luck
Cristian rivas ayala what was your goal?
@@juniper10 probably to beat his pecker 5 times in one day
This is coming from a New Yorker... a city of physical karma (unless in defense or retaliation)... only tell your goals to your loved ones and true friends that want to see you succeed/would work with you anyone else is just a random and doesn’t need to know what’s going on just tell them you’ve just been tryna figure out what you wanna do🤷🏽♂️✍🏽🙏🏽
I AGREE!
Long story short, don't be weak in the mind and heart, and you will not be weak in the body with performance of anything
Past a decade already, but still fresh though. Thank you sir!
I have found that letting people know my goal takes the wind or the energy out of it.
Whenever I tell my family what I plan to do, they find a way to sabotage me. That is why I am keeping so many secrets from them. My goals are far more likely to succeed that way. The family always gets angry if they found out about any of them. Why didn't I tell them? I am now working on a very ambitious project they know nothing about. If I fail, this will be because I have not put enough work in it, not because I was sabotaged again. If I succeed, they would be super-duper angry this time. I will try to keep it a secret for as much as I can. This will be fun.
Derek, thank you so much for your excellent video! It's so true!!! Although I am quite successful and active, this video will definitely help me to achieve more in my life. Watching your video, I recognized previous myself in the group of people who brag about what they will do, and eventually would not do anything about it in future, only empy words. Now I know the psychological reason of that. And now I know what to do. Thank you! It was one of the best insights in my life during last several years.
that's why when somebody tells me what they want to do/achieve, I tell them they will fail in a decent way
Derek Sivers, I'd like to thank you for this.
This is one of my biggest mistakes.
I've actually run the same road... I thought mybe it's about their bad wishes that I end up failing to see my goals through but this explanation that "tend to be satisfied like it's already done" has been the biggest seatback for me cz I get to feel like it's done n feel good about it and I share goals to satisfy the feeling of being congratulated for the idea as if it's all done....damnt I've lost so many times out of this
Yapmak isteyen yapar. Yapmak istemeyen sadece konuşur. 💐🌷🌹🌿🌺
Since childhood i always felt reluctant to tell anyone my goals, now this explanation has made things quite clear although i feel that people should take into account that whether or not you talk about your goals is irrelevant. You shouldn't put importance of the discussion of your goals. Only in the action of achieving your goal itself. loool don't talk the talk, unless your walking the walk
This is why I keep most things to myself until they are already happening. However, I will say that as a coach, I find that many people need the accountability aspect to hold them to what they say they are committed to. A lot of people don't even know what they actually want, so it's helpful for them identify their needs and desires. But in the end, it's about the inner work necessary to uncover limiting beliefs that hold people back.
If I may add to your point, that accountability issue you mentioned, it comes from practicing self-mastery. It makes you identify your strength and weakness but still can endure with uncertainty even if it is still dark. And tenacity takes you there. Good luck.
I agree. Amen to that.
Monique Amado Life Coach & Artist great
Everyone has their own psychology to influence their behaviour, now that is something we learn in psychology. Now choosing to believe that based on evidence he provided is your choice, I have an amazing career myself and have always told friends about my goals. His approach in my opinion is limited in that it underestimates human actually ability and out flexibility. Telling goals to someone is just tell goals and his studies in my opinion have to be relooked and be understood better.
strongly agree
So what do you do when you've told people your goals already before seeing this but still want to hit them?
Barry White Aesthetics Exactly!! 😭 Same here..
Barry White Aesthetics Don't tell any more people. The feeling of satisfaction you get wears off so as long as you don't tell again, you're fine.
Easy....don't hit people :P
2023, anyone?
2024)
Napolean Hill says to find a Mastermind group, who can share your goal. I share with my hubby and special family members or like minded friends, but agree with him to not just blather and instead get on with things. I have found if you have enthusiasm and go about your life that often real friends will help you reach it, but don't rely on this.
Yep, you can't expect others to push you. Some folks will tear you down or block you. Just choose folks with whom you share your goals. Small set.
This is like one giant ad against Pinterest. I feel so accomplished pinning pretty apartment pictures, meanwhile I've done very little of my actual apartment goals.
People on Facebook need to take this to heart before they post another status.
They post other's gratification
I agree to some point, but we all need a mastery group to critic every milestone we have done for our goal. Don't announce it to the world, but share it to those would (close core of friends and family) support you and would always hold you accountable for it every time.
Yanlış sizi tanıyan aile arkadaş vs sizi acımasızca eleştirir. Söyleyeceksiniz bile sizi tanımayan birine söyleyin ki iyi dileklerde bulunsun. 😇😁🌿🌹🌷💐🌺
This is true..... I told people that I want to gain weight for years!! Since I was 16 (I am now 24) Past 1.5 years I kept it minimum that I rarely told anyone. Prob about 3 people and now ive gained 20kgs. I am also going to the gym alone and working out at home. I havnt told anyone that I am workin out
@purecork I'm the perfect example of letting down EVERYONE in my environment (and myself) by never doing what I planned to do
Can I share it with my family? Means my ma, brother & I guess my ma will tell my father all about my goal!
I think that he's basically saying don't brag about your goals, and only tell people who need to know, because that's what gives you satisfaction in achieving them, doing the goals because you want to, not to impress others...
its a conundrum in the paradox "Be careful whom your share your dreams with."
Very well spent almost 4 minutes🔥🙏🏽🎉🎉💥
I have a goal I'm working on and no one knows about it, even my best friend. I will let the goal speak for itself.
I just say my goal with my families. They always beside me and encourage me alot.
most underrated video but so true!
Exactly! That's what I've been thinking in my whole life. Never said the goals and plans to others including my family! I thought I was weird but damn!
My goal is to start setting goals. My bad, now I will be a looser all my life. Seriously TED videos are interesting.
When I was studying medical assistant they gave everyone a paper during a meeting to write down their long term goals so I did and ever since then the people at the school started sabotaging me out of the goal even went as far as following to a new school where I was studying respiratory therapy just to get me kicked out because they didn’t want be to be above them in the medical field. Like why ask students to write their goals down if you are just looking to destroy and sabotage them out of it. I speak my goals into existence to myself as a way of self motivation when I do that I’m more likely to follow through.
Just wanted to know more about long term goals...the test only mentioned straight away. Perhaps this is true of short term goals? Also it seemed that the group of people that put only as much work in as they wanted were happy in the effort (more likely to do it again?)... while the second group put all effort but felt unsatisfied by the work (less likely to do the work again? and with no one knowing less likely to be accountable for it?).
That's why politicians never do what they promise
sweet irony ：）
I think if people forget and slack off reaching their goals, is because it's not what they really wanted to do, just wishful thinking. Telling other people or not it's all the same. If it ain't what you truly desire, you'll drop it sooner or later. On the other hand, if it's really want you wanted, and you can't reach it. It is because you lack of self control and determination. That is where you should be looking at , not about should I voice my goals and ambitions. Just my 2 cents.
Idk why I m writing this,no one ever notices but maybe I will feel better after writing this...I always tell my mom what I want to do in the future...things I am interested in and all... everything takes time... nothing can be done in a day...but maybe she doesn't get it...and she always makes fun of me for thinking so and maybe for some of you it will not matter but it really hurts me😢....I just share with her thinking she'll support but this happens all the time....all her words just makes me feel unworthy...I m not going to tell anything to her anymore.... thanks for the video
Mom told me to get off tik tok and watch a ted talk so I look up shortest ted talk
I agree that it can be helpful to keep goals a secret for most people. However, not all people are the same and it might be easier for someone if he shares a goal with close people. moreover, they can help with advice and action.
فى حديث عن الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم( استعينوا على إنجاح حوائجكم بالكتمان .....)
صدقت ي حبيبي 🥰🥰🥰
na, ITS ALL ABOUT THIS: what ever you pay your attention to, will, be, your reality, wether you tell everyone or tell nobody
While I certainly see merit to this (and am impressed that such valuable advice can be driven home in three minutes), I don't find myself exactly sticking to my unsung goals either.
it's valuable information but valueless advice
I usually don't tell my goals, cause I feel I'd let people down if I didn't achieve them...and this usually gives me good reasons to be lazy - after all, no one will ever know if I don't achieve them!
Therefore I wouldn't exactly agree with this. For me, the best motivation is having people count on me and knowing they'd be disappointed if I failed them.
Well , I agree as when you stop speaking about your most important goals , you are always motivated to do them , plus some people might put your enthusiasm out just because they don't want you to be way better than them , not because they don't love you or they think very bad of you , no , only out of their natural complexity that wakes up right after you shout thing from the rooftops and , simple enough , you relieve this pushing energy and that could become a spontaneous new-born obstacle .
Don't tell them and afford the risk , face the music and you never know what you can do when you manage .
A Japanese proverb says, “ Carry it out without announcing that you will do it.”
"إقضو حوائجكم بالكتمان"
so true. Plus, if ppl know ur goals, they can use it against you!
Something about him puts me in a good mood 0.0
Thank you!
i have felt this, its so true
It's true for me (damn it), and was true in that study. I think the point is that it is generally true and to wake up people like myself who know something but don't do it. So therefore, it's been very helpful.
Just because somebody is accomplished in one area doesn't mean he is an expert in all fields. Being a successful entrepreneur does not make him qualified to talk on psychology, any more than Albert Einstein would be qualified to talk on biology. Additionally, being accomplished and giving a TED talk does not excuse anybody from citing sources and conducting research with reasonable sample sizes.
The goal in the psychology test cannot be compared to every day goal people want to achieve, thus the result from the test can hardly tell anything. Telling someone about your goal won't necessarily make it less possible for you to achieve it. It depends on whom you tell it to, and in what way.
I agree
this is a great speech
As an extroverted writer (we're sort of rare), I tried keeping my goals to myself and it went horribly awry. I imploded with self-doubt without the enthusiasm and support of those around me. Once I shared my dream with my friends and family, the support was overwhelming and I'm pursuing my dream of publication. I guess we'll see if I achieve it, but I'm going to be submitting my manuscript to agents in the near future. If I fail, I'd rather people know, rather than for me to fail in secret.
How have you done?
When you talk less you get more of your job done rather than you talk more and get less done...
I never like to tell anyone anything, just I feel compelled to by others consistant nagging. They get annoying and assume you have no future if you don't.
yeah, i have been trying both aproaches, but telling your best friends and family might put more pressure on you to acomplish that thing. if you don't say anything to anybody, you are more free to quit your goal. if there are consequences, you will more likely do what you promised.
Most people don't care enough to keep you accountable, even your family.
Just one question to everyone out here should we don't even tell to our parents or our close ones about our goals or aspirations? I mean isn't it good if they'll tell us about their opinions. Also they'll provide finances to us.
I practiced shadowing with this video but, ×1.0 speed is too difficult .
I'm speaking inareticulaly
So true, so very true.
this was the same reason i never told my parents i changed my major to neuroscience, or that i wrote a book. i try to tell my friends never to "spill their stories" and just write them. you never want to lose that "fire in the belly"
I actually enjoyed the advertisement at the end more than the video '-'
This describes a Hadeeth (a quote by Prophit Mohamed ): Literally, it means: Seek help to accomplish your demands (needs, requirements) through confidentiality.
Is blogging about your goals announcing it too? What exactly counts as "announcing" it?
Yeah, man! EXACTLY! That's what I've thought for years! This is why boasters get nowhere and why people say "You should always look out for the quiet ones!", because they are invariably the ones that went off and made something of themselves. And also why people who say "I'm giving up smoking" never actually do! (giving up smoking is actually relatively easy when you want to (yes from experience!))
Just commit to something and f*cking do it! Don't look to be congratulated every step of the way!