Thanks Billy. That made sense to me mate and just what I needed to hear. I've just got back from a 5 year relapse after 11 years clean. Like you said. Many don't get back. I didn't think I would. Horrendous. Take care mate
Thank you billy. That really spoke into where I’m at in my recovery. I think I’ll knock renewing my passport for a while on the head. Thanks for sharing brother 👊
Always a joy,so to speak,to listen to your journey mate. Never stop telling these stories because it will flick a switch in someone out there,even if it’s only 1 person for every 100 stories.I can resonate with so much of what you say,all my life I’ve jumped in and out that pool of addiction,feet first with lead boots
True words Billy you will always have a trigger in your mind when anybody chats about gear or you sea something that reminds you of the old days it's mad it just pops in ya head and ya tung hits ya lips but you strong now and look at ya pals and it kills ya to think never and thank the Lord above he helpt me in the dark times but it's sad to sea people that just can not take them last steps to freedom and I pray to God that he looks after them in the best way he can so thank you Billy for letting people no you can relapse and still do it good look pal in the future with ya you tube channel and in health mate
Brilliant story albeit a sad one the old devil and the angel on the shoulders every addicts been there it’s amazing how are addiction fools us into believing the outcome will be different.Right there that’s what separates addicts from non addicts it’s the willingness to believe the lie keep on keeping on Billy mate.
What you see is what you get with this lad, he's black and white but not a Geordie 👍he's a top fella who's turned his life right round for the better. Good luck Billy you'll go far lad
Billy boy powerful story mate, im like you brother aw shite or aw sugar, no messing about when i use the arguments we get in our heads should i no don't awk it will be different this time,🙈, thats the disease of addiction mate, we only learn that through NA keep coming back mate, your doing amazing 🙏💚
I bought China White from Silk Road when the dark web first came out, as did all my friends. We all treated it like normal heroin and all instantly blacked out or overdosed. I remember at that time one Bitcoin was £14. They’re worth about £30k or whatever now. I’m still hoping i’ve got a couple of Bitcoin in a lost digital wallet somewhere!
Good video mate kind give me kick up the arse I'm 18 month but started slacking with meetings step work none at all thinking I don't need that shit I've cracked this lol Mad how quick we forget and I've expected that if I relapse it could be me gone for ever and that is so scary to me thinking about what I've built thanks mate
Lovely story pal, bottom line is you hadn’t conceded defeat and if you still haven’t conceded defeat you’ll be lucky to get back on here with another long story. Good luck, keep trudging
My first time trying china white was in magaluf in majorca of all places, me and 2 mates went there for a holiday in the late ninties, funny thing was we bought one way tickets with no extra cash maybe a tenner or so lol, we didnt even know we had a habit as only been smoking for a couple months, any way we started rattling big time like wtf is going on here, cut a long srtory short like little cvnts we were at the time we started robbing money of the beach when people went in for a swim and ended up meeting some locals from Palma (majorcas capital) that were doing the same thing and realising they were on the gear we made friends and they took us through to Palma to score, i had no idea it was even gear it was pure white but i remember putting it on the foil and like you said it didnt run it just frazzled up in wee spots, but holy shit did it make us feal better lol.....just subbed btw
Congratulations on your 2nd child if I'm not mistaken? I've got a similar story no kids yet at 44 the tackle doesn't exactly increase drive or fertility! I'm still a bit back and forth got clean went to Spain but dabbling now in UK again. I'll get there mate good man
All the gear goin round these days lad is 💩. It just don’t compare to when I started using in 1984. That’s another story and level altogether. Rather than dabbling these days lad your best just sacking it off altogether. Take care 👍🏼
Rule one, don't full in love in Thailand, especially in recovery, thais don't love...only money, my mate dee done 5 out off a 9. In Pattaya thanks for sharing anyway take care,
I know how you feel m8. I was on a diet for 6 months due to my obesity and was sat there one day staring at a box of jaffa cakes for 2 hours before I broke and ate the lot 😞
Gary you really need to get a life if you think this bellend should be an actor, your one of the reasons why innocent children are getting shot, think about what your saying
Are you still on methadone or subutex , I have been on methadone about 15 years am staying on it the rest of my life, I got off it once , I was a mess for a year, I got back on gear 7 years ago, Dabbling, got straight back on methadone, I used to get China white in 90s but was rare it’s normal brown
The fact you went to “meetings” suggests you were unhappy with the way you were.Thailand is either a place for discipline or freedom .the middle it is education .work out where u are and why u went there! If u went to Thailand on a jolly then ur experience is standard .try going there for the muy Thai side of things and u will leave far stronger .state of mind .not rocket science
when you did ya 90/90 and late andf leaving too soon etc, was that just life back and your everywhere or was you proper craving? Fucking hell Bill, very cheap an high potency, teasing that innit. It could help ppl coming off Green juice or benz!😨🤯🙏
No shame in crying mate, I can cry, mate I cry when I think of Lee Rigby mate ana didn't even know him but any man that thinks any less of ya as man for crying it's him/her who's the c***! Happened once when I was taking few lads to funeral and going from church to crem one said to me 'Ha! Hear you whimpering like a bitch in there haha' 'scrreeeetch' I slammed on stepped out the car and said that, if you think I'm less of a man put me down an all the lads saw he didn't wanna and were saying 'cmon lad, he was only messing'. That's happened 3 times that, I'm just not good at funerals. On opioids ya don't cry when you should! Lol if it's working like. I hardly crie3d at my Dad's funeral many years ago cos I took something to help and I miss him like mad right now! *Oh an about using again hard, that's cos you proper wanna feel outta pain quickly innit mate, I don't think most people smash it first go!
Yaba is serious I tried it one night in pattaya ,blow your head clean off the last boys take some serious gear ,the sweat was poring out of me ,it ain't for the faint hearted soi 12
I wanted some beak over there and got yaba off the LB’s instead, it was mint for the first three days, energised, shagging like a man possessed then it went eggy to say the least, you know the score🙈
A man without a past is a man without a future
I like that ...👍👍
@@bennyboy2079same here ❤❤
I remember this story from the book. I read it while I was a heroin addict and was drooling at the thought of that China White.
Soon as I read China white I was the same good book
That's the illness loving the thoughts, but think too the damage after.
Well done Billy, congratulations to you and the family. Your honesty and straightforwardness is so refreshing. your a goodman
Thanks Billy. That made sense to me mate and just what I needed to hear. I've just got back from a 5 year relapse after 11 years clean. Like you said. Many don't get back. I didn't think I would. Horrendous. Take care mate
Good story teller! It’s not easy dealing with feelings when clean but something we must do!
He is an excellent story teller isn’t he? I could listen to him for hours. He is so interesting and seems very intelligent and also genuine x
Love and respect from Dublin Ireland and congratulations on the new arrival 🇮🇪🙏
💙
Thank you billy. That really spoke into where I’m at in my recovery. I think I’ll knock renewing my passport for a while on the head. Thanks for sharing brother 👊
Love listing to your videos billy could listen to then for ages keep up the good work billy lad👍👍
Keep up the fantastic work Billy you have now found the correct road to go down brother ✊🍀
It takes such strength to talk about relapses Billy, well done ❤❤, its a thing that makes you even STRONGER.
Always a joy,so to speak,to listen to your journey mate. Never stop telling these stories because it will flick a switch in someone out there,even if it’s only 1 person for every 100 stories.I can resonate with so much of what you say,all my life I’ve jumped in and out that pool of addiction,feet first with lead boots
Love that ... Feet first with lead boots sounds very familiar
@@christait50 yeah mate and each time we say it’s our last. But there will be that one time for all of us when we know for certain it’s our last
I really enjoy listening to you Billy your honesty is refreshing 👍
Could listen to all day Billy - even when the stories are sad.
I love listening to Billy's honesty
True words Billy you will always have a trigger in your mind when anybody chats about gear or you sea something that reminds you of the old days it's mad it just pops in ya head and ya tung hits ya lips but you strong now and look at ya pals and it kills ya to think never and thank the Lord above he helpt me in the dark times but it's sad to sea people that just can not take them last steps to freedom and I pray to God that he looks after them in the best way he can so thank you Billy for letting people no you can relapse and still do it good look pal in the future with ya you tube channel and in health mate
Brilliant story albeit a sad one the old devil and the angel on the shoulders every addicts been there it’s amazing how are addiction fools us into believing the outcome will be different.Right there that’s what separates addicts from non addicts it’s the willingness to believe the lie keep on keeping on Billy mate.
Haven't seen china white since the late 90s..thats what got me hooked for 15 odd years..👌✌
Never seen it
china white in glasgow! u kinddin kiddo! its china shit aboot here! lucky if its 1% pure... its that shite u canny get addicted...
Me too
Nor have I have did you get it in Asia?
What you see is what you get with this lad, he's black and white but not a Geordie 👍he's a top fella who's turned his life right round for the better. Good luck Billy you'll go far lad
Your right mate I met Billy briefly in Walton and always remember him as a straight nice fella, a good lad 💪
Brilliant story keep them coming respect Billy
you are a very good story teller, well done again Billy
An engaging speaker. Wish you all the best in your journey through life. Have a great summer; Sir.
Yes bill, love ve your little story's
Congratulations on the new one pal❤
love n respect frm salford billy 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
Billy boy powerful story mate, im like you brother aw shite or aw sugar, no messing about when i use the arguments we get in our heads should i no don't awk it will be different this time,🙈, thats the disease of addiction mate, we only learn that through NA keep coming back mate, your doing amazing 🙏💚
I bought China White from Silk Road when the dark web first came out, as did all my friends. We all treated it like normal heroin and all instantly blacked out or overdosed. I remember at that time one Bitcoin was £14. They’re worth about £30k or whatever now. I’m still hoping i’ve got a couple of Bitcoin in a lost digital wallet somewhere!
Thanks mate.. wish to hear more stories to scare me right off it mate.
A valve in a car does not get younger . But the outside can be sprayed many times too look younger
Good 1 this bill emotions of addiction congratulations on the baby aswell ❤
5:13. ….”Rattling the cage,rattling the cage man”
Good video mate kind give me kick up the arse I'm 18 month but started slacking with meetings step work none at all thinking I don't need that shit I've cracked this lol
Mad how quick we forget and I've expected that if I relapse it could be me gone for ever and that is so scary to me thinking about what I've built thanks mate
Thanks for sharing bill, You are looking really well.
Congratulations again for little Bobby the belter.
Class these stories Bill
This is what the people need even if thousands watch (they will😉) and one person hears this and makes a change then its worth sharing.
On a level bro respect
Waw sum story m8 but look now its all behind in history of your story's and because how you are today these story's mean lots well done bro
Great 👌 story that gets u thinking
Lovely story pal, bottom line is you hadn’t conceded defeat and if you still haven’t conceded defeat you’ll be lucky to get back on here with another long story.
Good luck, keep trudging
My first time trying china white was in magaluf in majorca of all places, me and 2 mates went there for a holiday in the late ninties, funny thing was we bought one way tickets with no extra cash maybe a tenner or so lol, we didnt even know we had a habit as only been smoking for a couple months, any way we started rattling big time like wtf is going on here, cut a long srtory short like little cvnts we were at the time we started robbing money of the beach when people went in for a swim and ended up meeting some locals from Palma (majorcas capital) that were doing the same thing and realising they were on the gear we made friends and they took us through to Palma to score, i had no idea it was even gear it was pure white but i remember putting it on the foil and like you said it didnt run it just frazzled up in wee spots, but holy shit did it make us feal better lol.....just subbed btw
Keep going Bill!
It's crazy that all the answers are inside internally, but we often reject this and look outside.
Congratulations on your 2nd child if I'm not mistaken? I've got a similar story no kids yet at 44 the tackle doesn't exactly increase drive or fertility! I'm still a bit back and forth got clean went to Spain but dabbling now in UK again. I'll get there mate good man
All the gear goin round these days lad is 💩. It just don’t compare to when I started using in 1984. That’s another story and level altogether. Rather than dabbling these days lad your best just sacking it off altogether. Take care 👍🏼
Yes you are right. Absoulute rubbish that is going about now.
That is one of the reasons i dont bother with it anymore.
The old Cohin mistake Bill.
Yaa pu kao #4
Underli ... Good luck Bill
I got complacent too Billy. A word I learned early on was "vigilance" . It was only when it was too late that i understood what it meant. 😮
Me to 3 years clean and I got crack and heroin 26 years on drugs I thought I could just do it once a week I don't have to tell you what happened
@@adriantowe278 I was scared of life clean mate
Rule one, don't full in love in Thailand, especially in recovery, thais don't love...only money, my mate dee done 5 out off a 9. In Pattaya thanks for sharing anyway take care,
Old Chinese saying . If the rabbit runs and hops all day lives 5-6 years . But the tortiose does not do much goes slow eats healthy but lives 100 plus
What a lad, I can well relate to him.
Your back now, that's the main thing.
Well done Bill, I know a good man when i see one
I know how you feel m8. I was on a diet for 6 months due to my obesity and was sat there one day staring at a box of jaffa cakes for 2 hours before I broke and ate the lot 😞
@@dannymontgomery5811 I'll p
I've felt like that this weekend I'm really trying to stay of coke this weekend has been really hard
Yo Bill, you can tell a good story, you could be an actor, see if you could go to Drama school, or an extra see what happens.....
Anchor sure and firm, I know bud. I good now too. 😀
Gary you really need to get a life if you think this bellend should be an actor, your one of the reasons why innocent children are getting shot, think about what your saying
Much respect I've been clean nearly a year its 1 long hard process loving ur podcasts u seem like a nice genuine guy who wears his heart on his sleeve
I honestly have no idea how u done thai like that in Thai with no money I used to pay them to drive a scooter ur a major man doing tha time
Are you still on methadone or subutex , I have been on methadone about 15 years am staying on it the rest of my life, I got off it once , I was a mess for a year, I got back on gear 7 years ago, Dabbling, got straight back on methadone, I used to get China white in 90s but was rare it’s normal brown
You got bk on Ur feet Billy pal i seen good men go bad over there girls 🇮🇪🇮🇪💯
I like ya words Billy .
Good story that Bill
Top man billy
The fact you went to “meetings” suggests you were unhappy with the way you were.Thailand is either a place for discipline or freedom .the middle it is education .work out where u are and why u went there! If u went to Thailand on a jolly then ur experience is standard .try going there for the muy Thai side of things and u will leave far stronger .state of mind .not rocket science
Wow mate that was boss little one
Can u smoke c/white? Ive never had it myself but thought it had to be dug
That or snorted
makes sense to me pal.. i did excactly the same...came off in a slum!
Wheres the best place to buy the book and the film so it benifits the creator m8 ?
China whits did u sniff it or run it on the foil. is it scabby or what that yabba sounds crazy stuff
Sniff it
Shows 2 years clean u can still relapse. 1 day at a time people 🙏
Thank goodness i didn't get up to any of that 😂
Certainly know what your on about but was in Laos 🤦♂️ Clean know one day at a time 🙏🙏
Hard thing to say that for a hard man
Can't tell you n Joe Kidd apart
when you did ya 90/90 and late andf leaving too soon etc, was that just life back and your everywhere or was you proper craving? Fucking hell Bill, very cheap an high potency, teasing that innit. It could help ppl coming off Green juice or benz!😨🤯🙏
No shame in crying mate, I can cry, mate I cry when I think of Lee Rigby mate ana didn't even know him but any man that thinks any less of ya as man for crying it's him/her who's the c***! Happened once when I was taking few lads to funeral and going from church to crem one said to me 'Ha! Hear you whimpering like a bitch in there haha' 'scrreeeetch' I slammed on stepped out the car and said that, if you think I'm less of a man put me down an all the lads saw he didn't wanna and were saying 'cmon lad, he was only messing'. That's happened 3 times that, I'm just not good at funerals. On opioids ya don't cry when you should! Lol if it's working like. I hardly crie3d at my Dad's funeral many years ago cos I took something to help and I miss him like mad right now!
*Oh an about using again hard, that's cos you proper wanna feel outta pain quickly innit mate, I don't think most people smash it first go!
Alcohol is usually the culprit.
He chose not to choose, he chose Heroin. 😮
Yaba is serious I tried it one night in pattaya ,blow your head clean off the last boys take some serious gear ,the sweat was poring out of me ,it ain't for the faint hearted soi 12
Just forget about that now mate just fckin forget it ever existed
Diving in with a fkin anchor tied to ur feet. 🤣🤣
Top vid again as always
Love you long time $10
I gt a subtext habit no heroin addiction young girl monkey dust head I can tell you some stories let me tell ya !!!
😢Billy training as we get older on a daily basis . Does not benifit the body much in fact it can cause a blow out .
1st and not a scouser 😂
Was this girl you met in Thailand a she mate 😂😂😂
I wanted some beak over there and got yaba off the LB’s instead, it was mint for the first three days, energised, shagging like a man possessed then it went eggy to say the least, you know the score🙈