WHY people *dislike* they/them pronouns!

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  • Опубліковано 20 гру 2024

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  • @beepboop2816
    @beepboop2816 3 роки тому +230

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Singular ‘they’ is older than singular ‘you’

    • @stefh1183
      @stefh1183 3 роки тому +17

      Okay, so you know how lots of people don't like using plural "you" sometimes and use stuff like "y'all" instead to make it seem more plural? Do you think that could ever happen with "they" or "them?" Like we end up using singular they so much it gets more confusing and people eventually decide to just say something like "th'all" or something to signify that it's plural? Language is just so weird and confusing sometimes and we can't really know how it's going to evolve, right?

    • @Anna-fh8eh
      @Anna-fh8eh 3 роки тому +5

      Unrelated: For you or anyone here: Some supporrt; The crisis lines are on google. Maybe search up the instructions to. The instructions for Canada: just text the word text or Text or TEXT I'm not sure which one. They are also on Quora (the phone numbers) if you search up something bad mental health related. They show up at the top if you click on the page from the website. Numbers that you can call are on google, as well as su1c1de prevention lines. Make sure it's the right one for your country.

    • @maple22moose44
      @maple22moose44 3 роки тому +2

      @@stefh1183 in the uk yous is often used instead of y’all, but even as a brit i have to say that y’all is better, yous sounds too much like use and it gets confusing

    • @BradleyCoopertest
      @BradleyCoopertest 2 роки тому

      Roses are red, violets are blue.
      They/them sucks.
      And so do you.

    • @Lita-yr4wt
      @Lita-yr4wt Рік тому

      Woooow you just changed my life

  • @stefh1183
    @stefh1183 3 роки тому +93

    The real reason people don't like they/them pronouns: they don't know the difference between their, there, and they're. And fun fact! Singular they has been used in the English language for longer than singular you.

  • @abigail1730
    @abigail1730 3 роки тому +96

    I have a friend who has they /them pronouns

    • @homestuckaddict
      @homestuckaddict 3 роки тому +1

      Now you have another, me!

    • @marran2594
      @marran2594 3 роки тому +2

      Use* not has

    • @abigail1730
      @abigail1730 3 роки тому +5

      @@marran2594 typo sorry 😅😂

    • @moonlitmoss_
      @moonlitmoss_ 3 роки тому +1

      Thats super cool!

    • @emifukakado-msjoke
      @emifukakado-msjoke 3 роки тому +3

      Same here I’ve known them since kindergarten and I love them with my whole heart. Ngl, it came a kind of a shock when they told me. It’s also kind of hard to keep track of what I call them and when. The reason being, my mother knows them, and whenever I have a story with my friend in it or speak about them..I have to use she/her pronouns so my mom doesn’t get upset or weird about it and so I don’t out my friend...sometimes it’s hard to switch back and forth especially because I’ve known them so long and they’ve gone by she/her up until this year. I’m trying my best though! Sometimes my brain just goes back to the default it’s been at for 12 years. I’ve never referred to them as “she” to anyone in our friend group or anyone who knows but I feel so bad when I’m just thinking about them (cause I think about my friends a lot cause I love them more than Peter loved the lord) and my brain calls them a she and I’m just like “NO. NO! BAD BRAIN! THEY. IT’S THEY!”

  • @moonlitmoss_
    @moonlitmoss_ 3 роки тому +238

    honestly, the general thing that they/them pronouns are faced with is just so much ignorance, but hopefully, we can normalize those pronouns more out in life. I sometimes just dress masculinely and would rather "be perceived as a guy" instead of having to out myself as nonbinary in most situations due to fear.

    • @flo1202xyz
      @flo1202xyz 3 роки тому +5

      Sorry, but what does your flag mean

    • @flo1202xyz
      @flo1202xyz 3 роки тому +5

      @Ava Austin Thanks

    • @moonlitmoss_
      @moonlitmoss_ 3 роки тому +6

      @@flo1202xyz its the nonbinary flag! Nonbinary means an individual who isn't 100% male or 100% female, or existing outside the two binary genders completley.

    • @moonlitmoss_
      @moonlitmoss_ 3 роки тому +5

      @Ava Austin dang thank you!!! 💕💕💕

    • @flo1202xyz
      @flo1202xyz 3 роки тому +4

      @@moonlitmoss_ thanks. I knew the explanation but I just can’t remember the flags

  • @emifukakado-msjoke
    @emifukakado-msjoke 3 роки тому +42

    Sometimes I wonder if people who don’t understand they/them as singular realize that they often refer to singular people as they/them and only get upset when it’s in reference to non-binary people..like what are you going to call a person you don’t know the gender of? They. If you’re having a conversation and someone says “oh my teacher and I had a conversation about that” and you don’t know the gender of the teacher, you’ll probably say something along the lines of “what did *they* say” ...people just get pissy when it’s used for non-binary people

    • @straenmusikant7402
      @straenmusikant7402 3 роки тому +2

      that's so true

    • @maple22moose44
      @maple22moose44 3 роки тому +2

      exactly, nobody just says completely unprompted “what did he or she say?” they just say they

    • @emifukakado-msjoke
      @emifukakado-msjoke 3 роки тому +2

      @@maple22moose44 oh my gosh, my sister was talking about how it was wrong to use they/them pronouns singularly …then she used them both singularly in the same conversation, like a sentence after what she was saying before. Then she realized what she did and had to correct herself…

    • @walkingcorpse1224
      @walkingcorpse1224 2 роки тому +3

      We understand. We even know the reasoning behind it. We just don't agree with it. Honestly if you want a good solid perception of how the majority feels look up American Dad's Tank Bates, his reactions are kind of the only thing you need to see. It's not ignorance, it's just a disagreement.

    • @emifukakado-msjoke
      @emifukakado-msjoke 2 роки тому +2

      @@walkingcorpse1224 why don’t you agree with it though?

  • @mikayla5757
    @mikayla5757 3 роки тому +41

    Im quite new to lgbt and being bisexeul so i love that i found someone that talks about lgbt cause i didnt even know about trans and when someone said trans i was like ??

    • @EK-ho4qz
      @EK-ho4qz 3 роки тому +2

      Omg I'm the exact same except I knew what trans meant

    • @mikayla5757
      @mikayla5757 3 роки тому +2

      @@EK-ho4qz cool but i know what trans means now

    • @august1837
      @august1837 3 роки тому +3

      Same. I had no idea what any of this meant. And now i think I’m nonbinary and bisexual

    • @mikayla5757
      @mikayla5757 3 роки тому +2

      @@august1837 cool i i also feel like im not only gonna be biseaxel soon

    • @fjakjcwjcjjwjcch
      @fjakjcwjcjjwjcch 3 роки тому

      I remember my friend was the first to introduce me to asexuality and transgender ness. I'm both. It was very awkward when he came out cause I had never heard either of the terms before and he wasn't prepared to explain them
      He still identifies as trans, but has since rejected the asexuality. We're super close now :p

  • @dylanh2618
    @dylanh2618 3 роки тому +193

    My mom is so stern on not using “they/them” because it’s “grammatically incorrect” but it actually is

    • @thesaddleenby391
      @thesaddleenby391 3 роки тому +9

      My mom is the same way

    • @dylanh2618
      @dylanh2618 3 роки тому +9

      @Keighen Snavely yep, I took French and it was a NIGHTMARE after coming out because literally every single word is either male or female

    • @pixelatorextreme3359
      @pixelatorextreme3359 3 роки тому +6

      Mee too, show them the Mariam Webster article - that’s what changed my moms mind but not my dads

    • @dylanh2618
      @dylanh2618 3 роки тому

      @@pixelatorextreme3359 okay cool

    • @fjakjcwjcjjwjcch
      @fjakjcwjcjjwjcch 3 роки тому +1

      @@dylanh2618 Agreed. I've been in French immersion since kindergarten, came out in grade nine, and figuring out the grammar and what to change was an absolute nightmare. Still is. I'm in grade ten now

  • @smallfriedfish9087
    @smallfriedfish9087 3 роки тому +72

    I came out yesterday! I finally told my mom! She’s supportive! She said she’ll let me cut my hair and get a binder!
    Edit: Cut my hair and we’re still working on finding a binder

    • @kait1713
      @kait1713 3 роки тому +10

      I am so happy for you! You are so valid💖

    • @burningcandles7692
      @burningcandles7692 3 роки тому +6

      Oh my goodness congrats!

    • @aperson1840
      @aperson1840 3 роки тому +5

      Amazing!! Great job!

    • @poemsinthefog
      @poemsinthefog 3 роки тому +6

      congratz!!!!

    • @TheBirdGuy923
      @TheBirdGuy923 3 роки тому +5

      I’m so happy for you 🥺 you deserve it 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️⚧

  • @yourtransuncle7252
    @yourtransuncle7252 3 роки тому +15

    My brother is Homophobic and he's one of the three people from my family that know about my pronouns(They/Them), he didn't seem to accept me for a while and about a week ago I saw him watching your videos and videos about Non-binary people overall.
    He has been treating me more nicely ever since and I'm honestly really greatful for that.
    He hasn't told me he accepts me or anything like that but I think he's realizing that I would be a lot more comfortable like that

  • @joelsytairo6338
    @joelsytairo6338 3 роки тому +74

    Is their name “Lauren” or “Laurenzo” I want to avoid deadnaming them

    • @adesso.laurenzo
      @adesso.laurenzo  3 роки тому +50

      either is fine! Laurenzo is more of my nickname, Lauren is my actual name, but I don't think of it as a deadname. Thanks for asking! :)

    • @smeyer8713
      @smeyer8713 3 роки тому +7

      @@adesso.laurenzo so you go by laurenzo then right

    • @JuniperofTheWolves
      @JuniperofTheWolves 3 роки тому +4

      @@smeyer8713 they said they don’t mind, Either Laurenzo or Lauren

    • @frgwyn3760
      @frgwyn3760 3 роки тому

      Who

    • @katyfear4082
      @katyfear4082 3 роки тому

      @@frgwyn3760 they said that like Laurenzo said that they are ok with either so don’t think of either as their dead name

  • @celeste6094
    @celeste6094 3 роки тому +7

    Types of responses I get when I tell people I use they/them pronouns:
    “ *so your an attack helicopter* “
    “Oh that’s cool *uses she/her pronouns eitherway* “
    “But it’s not the right usage of they/them pronouns...”
    And finaly:
    “But are you a boy or a girl?”

    • @Fade_NB
      @Fade_NB Рік тому

      Yeah I usually just hit those people with some dumb response

  • @sophiafarrugia7673
    @sophiafarrugia7673 3 роки тому +72

    Honestly, even if you don't support people who identify outside of the gender binary, it's *not* that hard to respect their pronouns. It literally does not hurt anyone and you are just treating someone with the same respect you would treat another person with, because we're all human. And we all deserve that respect and love. I adore your channel, thanks for educating me about the world of fabulous non-binary people! One of my closest friends is non-binary, and as a teen who doesn't get taught a lot about LGBTQ+ at school, this is really informative!

    • @walkingcorpse1224
      @walkingcorpse1224 2 роки тому

      Right, it's not hard, what's difficult is the rest of the changes the LGBT is demanding, many don't want to give an inch to avoid giving the whole foot. And most don't feel obligated to have to abide by respecting terms and conditions that's thing.

  • @thedragonsunicorn
    @thedragonsunicorn 3 роки тому +130

    off topic, but your cat is adorable! those eyes are enchanting. 🤩

  • @nicothenecromancer
    @nicothenecromancer 3 роки тому +73

    Hey I'm enby and you have really helped me get to understanding that.

    • @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381
      @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 3 роки тому +3

      What does it mean to be “enby” I haven’t heard of that and care to be informed 💗

    • @letstalkaboutit2375
      @letstalkaboutit2375 3 роки тому +1

      It's the nonbinary equivalent of boy or girl. Not every nonbinary person is comfortable with it.

    • @nicothenecromancer
      @nicothenecromancer 3 роки тому +4

      @@justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 It's just shorthand for non binary thank you for the curiosity though I felt very seen😊

  • @alyson6780
    @alyson6780 3 роки тому +5

    I have a friend group who has
    1 person who uses they/them
    2 people who use she/her (both cis)
    2 who use he/him (1 trans 1 cis)
    1 who uses he/she
    2 who uses any pronouns
    So I'm here to learn

  • @sel_hyacinth555
    @sel_hyacinth555 3 роки тому +40

    I’m faster than the speed of light-

  • @hellsfavoriteangel
    @hellsfavoriteangel 3 роки тому +6

    I'm nonbinary and you really helped me through finding that out. I'm trying to get my dad to understand but it always ends bad even when he starts the conversation and 99% of the time he starts the conversation. I love your content and thank you for helping me be myself!

  • @noodlearg9745
    @noodlearg9745 3 роки тому +36

    i sometimes find it hard to say "they/them" when i've known somebody for years. i don't dislike them, but my friend came out as non binary and it's difficult to refer to them by them and not think of their dead name first.
    i dont think it helps that i don't see them very often because they're in the year ahead of me and our mutual club is shut down from covid but they're a childhood friend of mine.

    • @somethingschoolfriendly
      @somethingschoolfriendly 3 роки тому +12

      It’ll get easier eventually! Whenever you use their dead name or misgender then just gently remind yourself, eventually you’ll just automatically think of them with their preferred pronouns/name :)

    • @gwen8290
      @gwen8290 3 роки тому +10

      like the person above said, it’s perfectly normal to feel that way! as long as you’re not addressing them my their dead name and incorrect on purpose, they won’t have a problem with it! if it helps, just try letting them know that it’s hard for you and you may mess up before you address them correctly every time!!

    • @percyorsomething2641
      @percyorsomething2641 3 роки тому +7

      Your friend will understand that its hard to get used to. I don't get upset if someone uses my deadname/pronouns if they make an effort and correct themselves. It'll get easier and y I friend probably really appreciates you making an effort and supporting them.

  • @zeezeezeeke
    @zeezeezeeke 3 роки тому +4

    My friend is still getting used to my new pronouns, and everytime she accidentally misgenders me, she instantly realizes and is like "Wait, no. THEY. Sorry!" She's awesome

  • @caitlillis8677
    @caitlillis8677 3 роки тому +11

    I told my dad that my friend uses they/them pronouns, and he didn't even let me explain what it means. He just went straight to "no that's plural. If I am talking about a *group* of people, I am talking about *them*" and I couldn't even say anything to that because he was in the middle of one of his lectures :')

  • @TheBirdGuy923
    @TheBirdGuy923 3 роки тому +69

    Someone was trying to argue with me by saying that there are only two genders male and female (which is very not true of course) and they were talking about someone and were using they/them pronouns to talk about one person and they still had the actual AUDACITY to still say there were only two genders?! 😐😑

    • @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381
      @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 3 роки тому +6

      Well what we have to understand is that in those conflicts we can both be right. For instance arguing that there are more than one gender biologically is illogical. However arguing that how one chooses to be and express themselves can be undefined by what is in their pants is completely logical.
      But that’s how it’s always been waaaay before non-Binary became a term. It’s just people who choose to ignore the boundaries of gender. Like girls who decided to be mechanics or boys who decided they like to dance or figure skate. Many of which still preferring heterosexual relationships even.
      My favorite advice to give is that in this life it is not about WHAT you are, it is about WHO you are.

    • @RJIS
      @RJIS 2 роки тому

      there's only 2 genders

    • @walkingcorpse1224
      @walkingcorpse1224 2 роки тому

      This is actually what's making it more difficult. If you want for people to respect the "they/them" pronouns and refer to it as"preferred" pronouns then that's alot more feasable. But when you come in with non-factual biology this is why people turn away. So best thing to do is just say that there's only two genders and recognize that fact but have society recognize you would prefer not being referred to as he/ she. Now check this out, if you at all disagree with me or cannot even remotely abide by those types of term and conditions then that would make you the pot calling the kettle black.

    • @berry.1uvr
      @berry.1uvr Рік тому

      @@justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 There ARE more than two biological sexes though…haven’t you ever heard of intersexual?

    • @Dadsvsgroomers
      @Dadsvsgroomers Рік тому

      There are two genders. That’s a biological fact. Male and Female. XX and XY. It’s that simple. It’s not homophobia or transphobia. That would imply people are scared of gay or trans folks. Nobody is scared of you all.

  • @sail0rtr1xx.82
    @sail0rtr1xx.82 3 роки тому +36

    I have a friend who is a lil uncomfortable with calling me they/ them. She is slowly getting used to it tho-

  • @sheakirkness4735
    @sheakirkness4735 3 роки тому +4

    Honestly, I like how you are calm about talking about how people who don't know or want to know the they/them pronouns. Do you have any videos of steps of how to deal with a homophobic or transphobic person?

  • @the.midnightskies8908
    @the.midnightskies8908 3 роки тому +10

    Only my sister knows I'm a demigirl now(I really prefer they/them), and she says she respects it. But she refuses to use they/them saying "I've used she/her on you for 13 years and I'm used to it, I can't use they/them and I'm not even use it." And the thing is I'm 11...

    • @august1837
      @august1837 3 роки тому +2

      If you don’t mind me asking, what does demigirl mean? I’m questioning my gender, and I am trying to learn as much as I could about gender identities

    • @the.midnightskies8908
      @the.midnightskies8908 3 роки тому +2

      @@august1837 it's a gender identity for someone who does not fully identify with being a woman, socially or mentally. Pronouns used are they/them and she/her

    • @august1837
      @august1837 3 роки тому +2

      @@the.midnightskies8908 thanks for replying. That kind of sounds like me. But how is it different from being nonbinary?

    • @the.midnightskies8908
      @the.midnightskies8908 3 роки тому +1

      @@august1837 oh, it means you're also a bit of a female and a bit of agender? Agender means having no gender or genderless. So your kinda like half female and half genderless? I hope you get what I mean

    • @the.midnightskies8908
      @the.midnightskies8908 3 роки тому

      @@august1837 if you have any doubts, feel free to ask. Even if I don't know, I'll try my best to answer

  • @bobbie-bluegravy265
    @bobbie-bluegravy265 3 роки тому +8

    my mum is like ye they aren't grammatically correct.
    me who can't do grammar

    • @Tokyo_Pessi
      @Tokyo_Pessi 3 роки тому +3

      They actually are grammatically correct. What do you call someone who's gender you don't know? "A clerk at the store helped me out today, they carried my water bottles"

  • @wigginout97
    @wigginout97 3 роки тому +2

    Honestly the biggest thing is to just learn how to be comfortable in your own skin I know we all want to be gendered properly constantly but especially using they them. Especially in a current state like realistically it’s not gonna happen and we have to learn how to love ourselves even if people dont

  • @999bugg
    @999bugg 3 роки тому +9

    i really appreciate u, you’ve really educated me on topics like this❤️ i’m apart of the lgbtqia+ community and i love that u bring attention to it

  • @Karl_is_exsisting
    @Karl_is_exsisting 3 роки тому +3

    I am a born female and I am a gender fluid/Pansexual and I had the worst problem yesterday. Me and my mom where filling something out for school and they asked my Pronouns and sexuality and I was forced to put she/her and that I'm attracted to opposite gender only ;-; and I prefer they/them and he/him Pronouns

    • @A_Blessed_Diamond
      @A_Blessed_Diamond 3 роки тому +2

      Dang, that must suck. Hopefully it will get better. I'm forced to be in PE girls and my dysphoria was so bad I cried on the first day. Hopefully once you come out to your parents you can talk to the school and they can change it.

  • @foxtrotnine2504
    @foxtrotnine2504 3 роки тому +2

    Regardless, using they them pronouns for one person, especially one that everyone knows in the room, is unusual. I’m a male, sound like a male, but I wear female clothing and I prefer she her pronouns. Everyone always remembers to call me she, even though sound a male and am not passable as a female. However, I have plenty of friends that go by they them, and it always takes longer for people to get the pronouns right for them. (See? Not even singular them, but the actual group of people that prefer they pronouns). It’s just confusing and people always make slip ups. Sure we can all try to improve but just saying those slip ups are the most common with they pronouns for obvious reasons. It just isn’t what we’re used to

  • @DimDom35
    @DimDom35 3 роки тому +15

    Two views and 42 likes how’s that possible?

  • @addison3887
    @addison3887 3 роки тому +5

    One of my friends use they / them pronouns. They didn't tell me at first so I kept calling them a she and then they got mad at me.
    And I've found that my grandfather isn't very okay with things like this and since I'm bi I haven't quite been able to come out because things with him would be very different

    • @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381
      @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 3 роки тому

      I think it’s wise of you to anticipate unnecessary conflict and choose to just maintain your good relationship. Unless you end up marrying someone of the same gender who really needs to know what you like sexually that’s my motto xD

    • @addison3887
      @addison3887 3 роки тому

      @@justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 I keep it hidden from a lot of people so I'm good

  • @MintTeaEdits
    @MintTeaEdits 3 роки тому +2

    If people tell me their pronouns, I respect them. No explanation needed.

  • @hanhanisamaterialgworl
    @hanhanisamaterialgworl 3 роки тому +5

    The way Laurenzo says their sentences after 3:39 maybe night have stolen my heart 😳 cuz their accent and stuff and the way they explain LIKE OMG IM IN LOVE ✋😭💙💖💙

  • @zizitzenkova6611
    @zizitzenkova6611 3 роки тому +4

    Another thing is it's hard to get used to or you try to remember but you forget at times.

  • @nakers9513
    @nakers9513 3 роки тому +3

    im a feminine presenting non-binary person and a lot of people refuse to use they/them pronouns for me because i don't pass and they think it's just a phase and they believe it's grammatically incorrect but seeing your videos makes me feel so much better about how i identify and it makes me feel comfortable with myself even if it's just for a little bit and i just wanted to say that you are an amazing person and you are doing an amazing job and i hope you have a great day/night/whatever and yeah...

  • @CHALDEXPRESS-zi8fu
    @CHALDEXPRESS-zi8fu 8 місяців тому +1

    Originally, the neutral pronoun "It" is positioned between "She" and "He".
    However, there are negative opinions about it as it generally evokes associations with animals or objects.
    While "They" is plural, using it for singular can lead to confusion in conversation. Substituting "They" for "It" is grammatically incorrect in English.
    So, how can we coexist?
    The answer lies in reusing the Old English term "Hit".
    "Hit" is a third-person singular neutral pronoun that, when viewed from a modern perspective, evokes human qualities and conveys notions of strength and success.
    Though an old word, it has a casual charm.
    Let's make this word popular again.

  • @octopus953
    @octopus953 3 роки тому +7

    When i was little and first informed of the lgbtq community, I wasn’t supportive. I thought it wasn’t normal or something. 2 years later i was an ally. And a couple years after that I thought i was lesbian, but I still liked guys( I didn’t know you could like both). A couple months after that I learned about bisexuals and immediately new that was me. and about 5 months ago I started to experiment with they/them pronouns. Now i know who i an which is a bisexual agender.😁

    • @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381
      @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 3 роки тому

      That’s great! Though also do know that sometimes we change a little as we grow. While these titles work for you now and of course very well may still in the future.. know that it is ok if you grow and your titles grow with you ❤️

    • @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381
      @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 3 роки тому

      You know I extremely value you sharing your experience like that! Can I ask how was it that you first found out about LGBTQ?
      How old were you then? How old are you now?
      Me I’m 21 and I’m still working things out and can’t remember when or how I learned about it 😆

    • @octopus953
      @octopus953 3 роки тому

      @@justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 i was in a car with a friend who had lesbian parents. This was when i was in 3rd grade so i was about 8. That was the first time I could think of that I knew about the lgbtq community. Then I only knew about lesbians and gays. When I heard his parents were two women i was weirded out and got scolded by my mom.(i still feel bad about it to this day). Oh and I’d rather not say my age sorry 😅

    • @justaperson5677
      @justaperson5677 3 роки тому

      I had a very similar experience!

    • @octopus953
      @octopus953 3 роки тому

      @@justaperson5677 omg denki heyyy😆

  • @FroggyMist
    @FroggyMist Рік тому +1

    Because they get butt hurt at something that isn’t in the book 📖, no offense to those who actually respect us…they don’t have to support but have actual respect

  • @bublearts4628
    @bublearts4628 3 роки тому +2

    I cannot express my love for your videos enough. They are so helpful! I’m going through some really tough times ever since I came out, and these videos are the only thing that have kept me together. Thank you!

  • @anapedropereiradasilva1299
    @anapedropereiradasilva1299 3 роки тому +3

    Im portuguese and here almost all words have a gender, so its difficult to use they/them pronouns and I think that desincourages people to use them, there are just so many rules and ways to do it...
    PS: I love your videos❤️

  • @NamedEdge
    @NamedEdge 3 роки тому +3

    I read the title wrong thought it said, "Why I dislike they/them pronouns"
    I was like, hold up

  • @bronchiaosaurus4804
    @bronchiaosaurus4804 3 роки тому +7

    Hi! I just wanted to pop in and say hi! Btw ur my fav lgbtq+ UA-camr bc your actually genuine

  • @charlottefowler8184
    @charlottefowler8184 3 роки тому +3

    Me, a genderfluid: I LOVE change!!!
    My friend, a non-binary: I HATE change!!
    My friend, a cis: the f*** is change?
    My other cis friend: I know!! Pennies are so annoying!!

    • @charlottefowler8184
      @charlottefowler8184 3 роки тому

      My grandma: I'm not transphobic, but you can't "know" your trans until your brain is fully formed. So you have to be at least 21.
      Me at age eleven: Excuse me!?!?!

    • @Fade_NB
      @Fade_NB Рік тому

      Lmao

  • @alabasterindigo
    @alabasterindigo 2 роки тому +2

    I’m curious why people who are against pronouns immediately generalize folk with them as being selfish? It’s a mindset I’m noticing more and more. No one knows mine unless they specifically ask (and even then I don’t open up unless I trust them) so I fail to see why that makes me self-centered? I just wanna live my life.

  • @Dapper_Demon
    @Dapper_Demon 3 роки тому +2

    Love hearing your takes on important topics! It’s very important to inform yourself about these things and you do an amazing job of explaining it! Thanks for what you do for the community!!!

  • @KG-qr1lg
    @KG-qr1lg 3 роки тому +1

    I recently started opening up about wanting to use they/them pronouns. My partner is supportive, but his main hang up has been he feels like he's being impersonal when he uses they/them for me. He has other nonbinary friends that use they/them, but for someone he's been with for 6 years, he just wishes the English language had a gender neutral alternative that felt more personal. He's trying though! 🖤

  • @FirstKingOfMushrooms
    @FirstKingOfMushrooms 3 роки тому +3

    I dislike the people that say they/them pronouns that are plural. That it isn't meant to be used for singular purposes. Like bruh. And I definitely dislike the people that don't agree with LGBTQ and still watch these types of videos and then reply on some random comment saying "Oh you female or male you can't be both or neither" or say "You need to get help". It's really annoying 😑

  • @shreyaghosh4598
    @shreyaghosh4598 3 роки тому +3

    I have a question....do those who identify as non binary often opt for some kind of operation to deal with their hormones/bodily changes? Like for those who are biologically female but identify as non binary still continue to have menstrual cycles?
    Thanks for these amazing videos. I'm learning a lot about the LGBTQ+ community thanks to your efforts. Keep up the great work❤

    • @this_is_me_Mika
      @this_is_me_Mika 3 роки тому +2

      I personally wouldn't take hormones/ have operations, but it varies from person to person what they wanna do

    • @this_is_me_Mika
      @this_is_me_Mika 3 роки тому +2

      Nonbinary doesn't necessarily equal agender too, so there's a big spectrum of identities

    • @justaperson5677
      @justaperson5677 3 роки тому +2

      I'm personally considering getting surgical operations in the future, but it's different for everyone

    • @Fade_NB
      @Fade_NB Рік тому

      It definitely varies from person to person but I’m looking at get hormone blockers once I legally can (my state my a dumb law about not being able to get affirmative care until 18)

  • @percyorsomething2641
    @percyorsomething2641 3 роки тому +2

    I just want to say thank you for making these videos. They helped me to come out to my mom and I showed her your binding video to convince her to let me get one and to show her that its safe (she was worried about it because I'm still growing a bit and I have asthma). My mom's been having trouble getting used to my choosen name and pronouns, but she's coming around. I know I can always watch your videos for a laugh and some information.

    • @percyorsomething2641
      @percyorsomething2641 3 роки тому

      Also I get to cut my hair short soon (as soon as there's less covid cases in my area) My dad probably won't like it cause he thinks "girls" should have long hair, but I'm still really excited.

  • @sneezecakexx
    @sneezecakexx 3 роки тому +32

    I have a question: I am a lesbian and a Christian, my parents are homophobic how do I come out to them?
    Edit: I didn’t expect people to respond this quickly, thank you everyone for the support! I really appreciate it
    2nd edit: totally forgot abt this comment lmao- uhm so I’m trans and omnisexual and my mom only knows im Omni and she still doesn’t know im trans- tysm everyone for the great advice! Love you all and stay safe

    • @prettyinpnk
      @prettyinpnk 3 роки тому +10

      just dont...JKJK. I say try to be honest with them. I know it may sound hard and scary, but being honest really helps get it off your chest.

    • @Charlie-frown89
      @Charlie-frown89 3 роки тому +6

      This might help ua-cam.com/video/BermFCwUHKo/v-deo.html
      It's another one of their vids

    • @dylanh2618
      @dylanh2618 3 роки тому +4

      Do what is right for you, know that so many people are supporting you and backing you up, and carry on with your life and happiness

    • @doubleagente
      @doubleagente 3 роки тому +5

      Make sure you have a support group (like tell your friends our an adult) and have a plan in mind if things go wrong. Also I'd say don't tell them for now. You never *have* to tell them. If you are leaving for college soon then maybe save up for an apartment. I hope this helps Lorenzo made a video about this on their channel you should go check it out

    • @Tokyo_Pessi
      @Tokyo_Pessi 3 роки тому +6

      FIRST: safety first!! Have an escape plan, have teacher allies or a good support system in case things go south
      SECOND: don't overthink it, pretend you're telling them you got a car!
      Third: explain as best you can and remain calm

  • @scotsmanproductions8224
    @scotsmanproductions8224 3 роки тому +2

    Ice is just a loaf of water

  • @UnknownShiny
    @UnknownShiny 3 роки тому +1

    Do you have tips because I want a binder but I'm still closeted and very very scared to come out

    • @magnez1umvalaki135
      @magnez1umvalaki135 3 роки тому

      Ash is a very cute name! 😍
      I love it

    • @UnknownShiny
      @UnknownShiny 3 роки тому +1

      @@magnez1umvalaki135 thanks, a friend helped me with that

    • @justaperson5677
      @justaperson5677 3 роки тому +1

      Do you have a male character you would like to dress up as? You could maybe say it's for that. That's how I got mine, but I know not everyone cosplays, so it could be harder 😓

    • @UnknownShiny
      @UnknownShiny 3 роки тому +1

      @@justaperson5677 my parents said I should try Cosplay but it would be very obvious if I wore it while I'm not Cosplaying(?)

    • @UnknownShiny
      @UnknownShiny 3 роки тому +1

      @A gecko with internet access I once asked them anonymous but they only said that they are ok with different sexualities but they never talked about other gender Identities

  • @thefrogsystem4555
    @thefrogsystem4555 3 роки тому +2

    I clicked on this to be able to learn more about my friends- I gotta say it helped me alot-

  • @Cherry-li6nk
    @Cherry-li6nk 3 роки тому +2

    Everyone in my family/school/literally everywhere come under blatant transphobia/homophobia. And I am sorry for not standing up to them cause I don’t want to come out or get bullied. Sorry for the rant but I just had to get it out.

  • @eliana8878
    @eliana8878 3 роки тому +3

    Could you explain to me what is the difference between gender fluid and non binary pls?

    • @hanhanisamaterialgworl
      @hanhanisamaterialgworl 3 роки тому +2

      From what I know, Non binary is having one gender but Genderfluid is having more than 1 gender and your gender is fluid

    • @eliana8878
      @eliana8878 3 роки тому +2

      @@hanhanisamaterialgworl thank you for explaining

    • @thedragonsunicorn
      @thedragonsunicorn 3 роки тому +4

      non binary is not identifying as any gender on the binary. gender fluid is being fluid with gender identity and fluctuating between genders. anyone correct me if i'm wrong though. :)

    • @eliana8878
      @eliana8878 3 роки тому +2

      @@thedragonsunicorn thank you for explaining :>

  • @bellerian9896
    @bellerian9896 3 роки тому +7

    i use fae faer pronouns and ive already come out to a few peeps, I'm thinking of coming out to my parents

    • @homestuckaddict
      @homestuckaddict 3 роки тому

      Misgender him on purpose if he won’t stop

    • @homestuckaddict
      @homestuckaddict 3 роки тому

      @@ha0yus oops I was trying to reply to someone else

    • @homestuckaddict
      @homestuckaddict 3 роки тому

      @@ha0yus no it’s the wrong comment

    • @homestuckaddict
      @homestuckaddict 3 роки тому

      @@ha0yus someone’s brother doesn’t believe in non binary and refuses to call the person to they/them

    • @homestuckaddict
      @homestuckaddict 3 роки тому

      @@ha0yus yeh so he knows how it feels

  • @georgietunnel4103
    @georgietunnel4103 3 роки тому +2

    I had an English teacher who didn't know about they/them pronouns.

  • @jmsmith1767
    @jmsmith1767 3 роки тому

    I love your channel. I’m a NYC middle school teacher. My administration has done so much to make sure any student who is LGBTQ+ is completely comfortable and respected. Almost all teachers I know are fantastic. Thank you for your excellent work.

  • @jinastronaut8254
    @jinastronaut8254 3 роки тому +1

    I am loving this channel!!supporting LGBTQIA+ community all the way!!❤️

  • @blitzflosse4638
    @blitzflosse4638 3 роки тому +2

    I would like to experiment with they/them pronounces... BUT I live in Germany and we have just he/him and she/her or in German: er/ihm sie/ihr

  • @artsy_marcypan
    @artsy_marcypan 3 роки тому +1

    Then there’s me who doesn’t use they/them… but uses she/aer

  • @Lucastheman666
    @Lucastheman666 3 роки тому +1

    I used to not like they/them pronouns, but it was because my parents are that way and force(d) their beliefs on me and also because it was new for me, and trust me, I do not like change... I never had anything against it, I just wanted to fit in. Also I am Swedish and it translates a bit differently, just a lil.
    I now use it basically, if not actually, every single day with friends and family and know several people who use they/them pronouns. I also use it whenever I am unsure, simply don't know or have forgotten a persons prefered pronouns.
    I always ask when I meet someone new if they have any prefered pronouns and if they feel unsure I ask them if it's okay that I use they/them until they are sure. I have also used pronoun rounds, which are super great to have, absolutely recommend having them every once in a while. In school, friend groups, group projects, at work, in your family, and the list goes on.

  • @helenkabartosik8300
    @helenkabartosik8300 3 роки тому +4

    I something on Pinterest about a "Bathroom 9 and 3/4."
    I really want this to be a thing...
    Also I LOVE ALL of your videos!!!
    ❤️😁🦄👍

    • @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381
      @justwannawatchyoutubegeez2381 3 роки тому

      Oh my friggin gosh that’s is the best thing I have ever heard about lmao 😂 I freakin love you! ❤️

  • @ab.erdeen54
    @ab.erdeen54 3 роки тому +2

    hi! i've been watching your videos for a while now, and they make me really happy that you're educating people on these topics :). i was wondering if you could lend me some insight on my gender label? i'm biologically female, but i want to go by the pronouns he/they (not out yet). would this be bigender?? obviously you don't know everything, and that my label is entirely up to me, but i'm still a bit new to gender identities, as i've mostly dabbled with sexual orientations myself

    • @bublearts4628
      @bublearts4628 3 роки тому +3

      This would be transgender. It could also be called Demi-boy. If you are changing your gender identity, it would be trans though. Hope this helps :)

    • @this_is_me_Mika
      @this_is_me_Mika 3 роки тому +2

      You could also possibly be agender or just genderqueer. (Perhaps you could also be a gender fluid person) Good luck with finding a fitting label for you!

    • @ab.erdeen54
      @ab.erdeen54 3 роки тому

      @@bublearts4628 thank you!

    • @ab.erdeen54
      @ab.erdeen54 3 роки тому

      @@this_is_me_Mika thank you!

    • @this_is_me_Mika
      @this_is_me_Mika 3 роки тому +2

      @@ab.erdeen54 anytime!

  • @annashum9105
    @annashum9105 3 роки тому

    I recently stumbled upon your channel and I am obsessed! I love how you are putting comedy in the videos but at the same time educating people. I myself have personally learned alot as well as others! I love it, keep it up!
    You are absolutely hilarious by the way!

  • @Mcqueen_69
    @Mcqueen_69 3 роки тому +1

    Laurenxo *actually talking about factual reasons about why people hate they/them pronouns*
    Me: CATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
    also ya'll remember when we were either Unga or ungabunga

  • @bowreyes9726
    @bowreyes9726 3 роки тому +1

    I personally don't use they/them pronouns for myself cause my mom uses them instead I using my proper pronouns. I use neoprouns (fae/faer) so and they cause me to experience gender dysphoria. I don't have a issue with using they/them pronouns for others my best friend uses they/them pronouns but for me personally I don't use them.

    • @RJIS
      @RJIS 2 роки тому

      imagine caring about pronouns and the ridiculous concept of neopronouns

    • @alexxmae
      @alexxmae Рік тому

      @@RJIS u also have pronouns

  • @finnalealvarezcontreras7928
    @finnalealvarezcontreras7928 3 роки тому +1

    If it is hard for you as English native speaker, it is a mess for foreign speakers :( because se are educating as Grammar followers but what about all the elements that are out of that book? :(

  • @esteevot6077
    @esteevot6077 3 роки тому

    (Forgive me if my English isn’t that great I’m horrible at grammar)
    From what my mom says, she says that she doesn’t like the whole they/them pronouns thing because “it sounds like more than one person which leads to the idea of someone being possessed”. I’m not entirely sure if that was the reason why. She’s very religious so, that’s why she doesn’t like it. She also said that it reminds her of this one person in the Bible that was possessed with multiple spirits and I don’t remember that persons name but, she said that that person would always refer to the self as they because they were possessed with multiple demons. I don’t know if this counts as another reason why some people don’t like they/them pronouns but, that’s just one thing I heard from my mom and I just assumed that other people more than just my mom believe that.

  • @glitched_will
    @glitched_will 3 роки тому +1

    There are also people (like me time ago), who are for Example German, because they don’t even teach us the ‘huh, someone left their back here’, so we don’t even know they/them in singular in that way :/
    Our history teacher (bilingual classes) always says and writes she/he or she or he or something like that, and if people like this are on TikTok, no one ever told them that you sometimes already use it, cause we didn’t 😂

  • @samdal420
    @samdal420 Рік тому

    The first time my mom used my actual name I was so happy and relieved after all the arguments and yelling that she finally accepted me and now supports me that i cried :')

  • @rashmeerathod738
    @rashmeerathod738 3 роки тому +1

    Such a positive happy soul . .

  • @sleepybunni12
    @sleepybunni12 3 роки тому +1

    I came out as non binary and asked publicly i mean flat out posted my pronouns on facebook and everyone was so supportive. But all i get it "she" \ "her" and honestly it really bugs me. I physically cringe. It makes me almost throw up. Sometimes people will correct themselves but..no one's trying and it isn't helping that I correct like my sister and I get" im just so used to calling you she and her" WELL YOU'VE KNOWN FOR A YEAR NOW LIKE C'MON

    • @A_Blessed_Diamond
      @A_Blessed_Diamond 3 роки тому

      Oh, I really hope it gets better..

    • @octopus953
      @octopus953 3 роки тому

      You seem like a very outgoing person. I don’t have social media besides yt but me and my mom were looking at baby pictures and she said “ how dare they assume you were a girl, well at least they got it right!” And I just kinda had to sit there like “haha, yea...right..” and thats why I haven’t come out to my family yet

  • @NewPhilosopher
    @NewPhilosopher Рік тому +1

    I don't like that they/them pronouns are so popular with nonbinary people because it means we are less likely to have one of the neopronouns sets become chosen and standardised as a singular version to use. I get that 'they' can be plural or singular in the same way 'you' can, but it'd be nicer if we had a standardised singular version. We should also bring back using 'thou' (or one of the other singular versions) for singular and keeping 'you' plural. This is not how grammar is, but how it could be - if enough people would agree it should be that way.

    • @Wild_W3ndigo
      @Wild_W3ndigo 7 місяців тому

      I do use they/them pronouns but only because of my family hating neopronouns. But I use neos within my job and friends and I find that alot more people know about them now.

  • @Anna-fh8eh
    @Anna-fh8eh 3 роки тому +1

    Even the people who say "It can't be singular!" Have probably used it like that at least once in their life. For example: "I'm going to meet my new boss next week, I hope that they're nice." Or: "I'm going to go to the doctor next month. I wonder what they'll say."
    Did you see the singular theys?
    Are they correct?
    Yes.

  • @dempsey2181
    @dempsey2181 3 роки тому +1

    I think that they/them are just difficult to adjust too. I mean if your friend just started trying they/them pronouns you have to adjust to it. I think adjusting can be pretty hard. I just figured I say something because there are a lot of opinions to consider. But love yourself, self-love, and all that stuff!

  • @elimiles4702
    @elimiles4702 3 роки тому +1

    You are special. You are loved.

  • @Apollo_G
    @Apollo_G 3 роки тому

    Hey so there is a nonbinary person from ancient mesopotamian mythology. I'm not sure how exactly their name is spelled but I believe it is Asushunamir. Basically they were created to save Ishtar (goddess of love, sex and war) from the Underworld, then were cursed by the queen of the Underworld so they and everyone like them would be outcast from society. Then Ishtar gave them the gift of healing and prophecy. So basically : nonbinary people are magic

  • @debbiemcmasters4953
    @debbiemcmasters4953 3 роки тому

    It has been a year since my bestfriend came to and told me that they would like to be called they/them pronouns. It was hard for me, my other friends and parents to understand why they wanted to be called they/them but after they explained it to me I completely understand and even tho I don't call them "her" anymore does not mean that I love them any less than before. In fact they are so much more open and happy in life.

  • @el_cappuccino1831
    @el_cappuccino1831 3 роки тому

    As a male i have a genuine question what if we know the pronouns but don't want to use them because we prefer to call a individual by the first name or last name is that appropriate??? Or are we still wrong for not respecting that person's wishes.

    • @notimportant-ren2971
      @notimportant-ren2971 3 роки тому

      You can call people by their name as long as it is their chosen name not their dead name and as long as you do not use the pronouns they dislike

  • @hypercat7165
    @hypercat7165 3 роки тому

    Hello! Thank you so much for talking about this! I am transgender ftm and this means a lot to me.

  • @kenjixander9028
    @kenjixander9028 3 роки тому +8

    i use they/them and neopronouns so this video hits close to home and i really appreciate it!! thank you!
    edit: My english teacher would always dis using they/them in a singular form and i had to *politely* explain it to her.
    (being polite is key!!)

  • @Thierry_Rat
    @Thierry_Rat 3 роки тому +1

    When we don’t know the gender of a person we usually say they and them i don’t know why it’s so hard to grasp... also most laws say he/she so we non-binary people don’t have to follow the law lmao 😂😎

  • @drue8352
    @drue8352 3 роки тому

    In my experience people don't like they then because they think it's dumb and how you were born on this earth what gender and everything is how you are, but they have so many lgbt friends and say they aren't phobic in anything related. So idk if this goes in the #1 catagory or not but I thought I would just tell y'all my experience

  • @delphi_lasagna
    @delphi_lasagna 3 роки тому +12

    Now I can know more about my mum-

  • @ScandGeek
    @ScandGeek 3 роки тому

    I'll be honest, a few years back (idk, like 8-10?) I didnt really understand they/them. I didnt really know nonbinary was a thing. I knew that transgender was a thing, but I thought everyone had a "binary" gender. I think what it takes is education and "getting used to it", which is why its so great with channels like these who can educate people like me who like the LGBTQ+ community, but has a lot to learn!
    Interestingly, in Sweden the common non-binary pronoun is "hen", which is a completely new word, which sounds close to "han" (he) and "hon" (she). Its interesting to see the difference in reaction to reusing an old definition (I know singular they is old, but since most dont know that, they react as if the usage is new) vs a new word.
    Luckily, here it seems that "hen" is starting to become common in formal uses, especially in early education, so hopefully the younglings of today will be less ignorant than I was at their age.

  • @annadabanannabro3286
    @annadabanannabro3286 3 роки тому +1

    My mom refused to use my pronouns

  • @imnotevenhere2396
    @imnotevenhere2396 3 роки тому +2

    “Especially if you are a teen”
    Me:not even 12

  • @Autumnsleaves2323
    @Autumnsleaves2323 3 роки тому

    I loved this video!! I’ve recently asked my teachers and classmates to refer to me using they/them pronouns as well as by the name Quinn, and everyone has been very accepting. Only problem is that my own mom is being transphobic 😭 she made me delete all other social media besides UA-cam when I came out to her as gender fluid. She one time asked me if I had a boyfriend, I told her no. She then asked if I had a girlfriend, I also told her no to that. THEN she asked me if I had an “it friend” and I said no. The next thing she said made me want to scream, laugh, and cry all at once. She said: “good because I don’t perceive its”

  • @zojug2941
    @zojug2941 3 роки тому +1

    i dislike them because scientifically its he/she

  •  3 роки тому

    My family and most of the kids in my grade are at least a little bit homophobic and transphobic, I'm a closeted nonbinary and panromantic asexual and I'm like a ticking time bomb, I can't stand the hate comments towards the community, I have over 3 years left of school and I don't know how much more I can take

    •  3 роки тому

      @A gecko with internet access whether I'm at home or at school I'm around homophobes and transphobes, there is no escape

  • @kyledegiorgio7838
    @kyledegiorgio7838 3 роки тому +1

    Hey I am a straight guy but I am a guy that has a lot of friends that a lgbq+ and I think it is interesting

    • @justaperson5677
      @justaperson5677 3 роки тому

      It's so cool to see that! Most straight people around me don't tend to want to learn more about lgbtq+ topics (especially guys), so it's great to see something different! Thanks for the support! I'm sure your friends appreciate it 😁👍

  • @winternightmarecrochet
    @winternightmarecrochet 3 роки тому

    I had english classes, as a second language, and what we were taught is that they/them can be used when the gender of the person you are refering to is unknown. What the teachers meant by that was actually someone you've never met, or don't know the name of, or if you're talking hypotetically, but it works for a much wider array of people. I don't think my teachers were actively homophobic, transphobic or intolerant/uneducated to have omitted the use of these pronouns in a lgbtq+ context, but I don't think all of them would have felt comfortable doing so either, unfortunately.

  • @noutjeee17noutjepsychic
    @noutjeee17noutjepsychic 3 роки тому +2

    I’m still trying to get used to using they/them pronouns, which is funny cause I use both he/him & they/them pronouns myself. It’s slowly getting into my system tho!

  • @YukonYuki
    @YukonYuki 3 роки тому +1

    At first I was confused but after a few years of practice I know how to use it correctly

  • @goblinkingofpotatoes5823
    @goblinkingofpotatoes5823 3 роки тому +7

    I had an English teacher who used to be a Newspaper editor and in class we were going over using “his or hers” because using “they” was grammatically incorrect. Half of the class started arguing with her. I’m still proud of that moment.

  • @stealthy_velociraptor
    @stealthy_velociraptor 3 роки тому +1

    Reason #4: the people that don’t like they/them pronouns don’t know the difference between there, their, and they’re. If you’re reading this, have a great day!

    • @ginismoja2459
      @ginismoja2459 3 роки тому +2

      I do know the difference, though.

    • @notimportant-ren2971
      @notimportant-ren2971 3 роки тому

      @@ginismoja2459 It was a joke to poke fun at bad gramma and transphobes

    • @Fade_NB
      @Fade_NB Рік тому

      Lmao true

  • @graciec2867
    @graciec2867 3 роки тому

    I think what you’re doing here is really awesome and I’m really glad that you’re making videos about this kind of stuff

  • @peachiezgirl
    @peachiezgirl 3 роки тому +1

    Love the video! You are an amazing UA-camr and deserve so much more!

  • @charliemohan5192
    @charliemohan5192 3 роки тому

    My parents have both told me that non-binary isn’t a real gender and that people who claim to be are selfish and deserve hate so when i had a gender crisis i was really afraid. I’m agender so now im extra afraid. My friends have offered to adopt me when they turn 18 but it sucks knowing that the people who are supposed to care for me, regardless of my gender(or lack of one), do not actually love me.