Dealing with a Toxic Work Environment + Lessons Learned | STORYTIME
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
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Hi y'all! Today I'm sharing my experience with toxic work environments, toxic people who talk crap about or exclude people and the the lessons I learned. As I was editing the video, SO many other instances came to mind that I didn't think about while recording the video but I think you get the gist of what happened. Everyone's tolerance of this behavior or patience in working things out will vary - you just have to figure out for yourself when enough is enough.
Although this topic is a negative one, I do feel like everything happens for a reason and there are going to be tougher times, sometimes. My intention is to help anyone else dealing with something similar. You're not alone, stay strong and it will get better. Just keep doing whatever you can to improve the situation and if that fails over time, keep it moving hunnie ✌️ Grow through what you go through!
Jump around:
01:08 Disclaimer and food for thought before sharing my story
03:57 Addressing my wage gap comment from my Being a Manager in PA video (I can talk more details about this in a separate video if you want)
06:23 Background info and general observations of toxic cultures
14:32 My experience with toxic coworkers
40:26 More thoughts on how wage gaps exist despite laws against discrimination
How I Got Out of My Career Rut (after getting passed up for promotion) • If You're In A Career ...
Why I Went Back Into Public Accounting (Big 4 to Industry to Mid-Tier)
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Vlogs during my last busy season:
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Other videos that may be helpful:
- What It's like Being in Public Accounting (Overview) • What It's Like to be i...
- What It's like Being a Staff in Public Accounting • Being a Staff Auditor ...
- What It's like Being a Senior in Public Accounting • Being An Audit Senior ...
- What It's like Being a Manager in Public Accounting • Being a Manager in Pub...
- How to Get an Internship with a Big 4 Accounting Firm • How to Get a Public Ac...
- Why Hours Worked or Education Don't Match Pay in Public Accounting • Why SALARIES Don't Mat...
- What Does Accounting & Auditing Mean (Basic Concepts) • What Does Accounting a...
- Financial Statement Audits From Start to Finish • Financial Statement (S...
- How to Stay Organized in Public Accounting • How to Stay Organized ...
- How I Passed the CPA Exam While in Public Accounting • How to Pass the CPA Ex...
- Sarbanes-Oxley (SOX) & Auditing Internal Controls • Sarbanes-Oxley (SOX) &...
- How to Get Promoted • HOW TO MOVE UP IN YOUR...
- How to Manage Stress • Busy Season Pep Talk |...
- What It's Like Being in Internal Audit • What I Do For A Living...
- Why I Chose Accounting • Why I Chose Accounting...
- 5 Reasons Accounting Isn't For You • Why Accounting Isn't F...
Are you tired of public accounting and ready to look for a new job? Yes? Check out these videos :)
- Should You Quit Your Job • Should You Quit Your J...
- How to Find a New Job & Common Interview Questions • How To Find A New Job ...
- How to Quit Your Job, Giving 2 Weeks Notice, Negotiating Salary • How To Quit Your Job +...
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Toxic work environments are something people need to talk about more, ive home thru so horrible stuff in the last place I was at and it seriously affected my health... it pushed me to go back to school for my management degree to one day manage people correctly from my experiences
The lesson I learned from toxic work environments is that the only guaranteed way you’ll win is if you leave. However, I know that’s not always an option. I’ll tell myself to tough it out and then find myself months later in poor health, psychologically damaged, in a terrible mood all the time at home, and ultimately burnt out. I’ve had a few terrible, toxic bosses and coworkers and man it’s hard to not tell them to go kick rocks. I did grow from these lessons but man was it a rough.
Giiiiiiiirl one job I had was a whole sh*t show! It was a true test in mental strength! They actively picked blatant favorites, my controller tried to create separation and told lies about coworkers to other coworkers, and the constant gaslighting. Good grief and good riddance. My current job has some issues but at least it’s filled with normal-ish adults and not the cast of mean girls with CPAs
Right!! Work already has its challenges without juvenile BS! Glad you found another opportunity and glad it's working out better for the most part!
Girrrllll i thought i was the onlllly one! Omg, the last job threw away my paper clockins and out sheet and they said I didn't work at all. Now i got to talk to the Law about my check. It is so petty. When I left walmart, it had some very serious issues but at least they paid me my last check. I think the WHOOLE world needs to be retaught how to be professional. Turn over rates wouldnt be this high but for some reason they think they can get away with such foul behavior.
@@WithStephie Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start mobbing onne again, I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.
Immediate red flags:
When you’re new and coworkers overshare and m then say to me “we overshare here”
As I continued to not talk about my personal life - over the next few weeks ; the boss came in and was chatting with one the coworkers- they started telling me about a previous employee and how that person wasn’t good and caused problems. Why the hell would they be telling me this?
Red flags everywhere here!
Gas lighting
Mind games
We need to talk about this more, unfortunately toxic workplaces will happen and does happen. I am 58 and the majority of my workplaces were toxic, with lots of narcissistic colleagues and toxic laws. It has given me CTPSTD. It is not just in the paid workplace but it is in volunteer work too. In one volunteer job we had a new manager and on the same day she arrived, there was a big red flag..... and I recognised it and LEFT THE SAME DAY. It was great as it was a volunteer job and I didn't even need to stay there. As one gets more experiened, the red flags are easier to spot. It is very hard when you need the money to pay for the mortgage etc... Some of my favourite jobs were temp jobs, most jobs I could leave after a few weeks and I managed to temp for 5 years without major problems but as soon as you go to a permanent job, employers etc behave as if they 'own you'. On the very few occasions I have stood up to the bully and I kept a secret diary and I went to the main boss and eventually won my case, surprisingly only because the woman actually had bullied a manager's daughter, in the same company. It was quite horrible as people didn't believe me....She was disiciplined. One colleague even saw her at the train station screaming and shouting at her boyfriend, who also worked in the same workplace. It is weird that the victims are seen as trouble makers or petty for challenging toxic behaviour.
Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start mobbing once again, I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.
100 percent correct🎉
I have experienced the same thing girl. At my first corporate job and I was like look I am grown I don't have time for this mean girl cramp
For real! #aintnobodygottimeforthat
Good... just look 'too busy' ha
it is going to happen to you in the worst part is that when you show up and you trying to do your job and you just try and go to work and mind your business these toxic people they will follow you around and they will continue to try and beat up on you in any way that they have because they're miserable and sad and in whatever way possible they want you to feel that way also
Wow! This video is so helpful. I'm here in my room right now crying thinking of leaving the company I'm working. When I make mistakes, they're magnified to the highest level making me feel stupid. I was also body shamed in front of anothe r co-worker. I really like my job but I can't work with toxic people anymore. It's definitely affecting my personal like and mental health.
Lol this story is literally what I’m living through at my current firm (which is the firm you worked for before leaving public for good). And the fact that people who don’t like you or barely know you have power to have you fired is horrible. My busy season sucked and when review time came about I was made aware of people’s review about me that was never addressed during busy season. It just irritates me and made me realize why I left public accounting the first time around. Thanks for the video Stephie.
I'm so sorry love 😔 it's up to people like you and me and the rest of our community to create a different culture. It sucks that it still happens, the lack of transparency was even happening when I was at the Big 4.
I hope things get better there and if not, you will find what's truly meant for you 💗 you got this 💪
This happens to me allll the time like every where i go! This is why my resume is so jackd up like ive worked a job for over 4 years but lately its just been 3-4 months and then I have to leave bc it gets petty. Im so sick of it!
BlameItOnVanity and that is perfectly ok. I also have that issue on my resume. But I think as time goes on you’ll find the right fit and learn to navigate through toxic waters. I pray God can meet your needs and help you find an amazing work place.
@@corporatelynicole Thank u so much dear! ❤️
I’m working in a not so great environment right now. I’m trying to give 100% and also seek new opportunities. It’s comforting knowing that sometimes we all go through the ringer. Seeing you come out in a better place inspires me to keep on pressing on! 💎
I'm sorry you're dealing with some BS love. You got this - you're a diamond 💎 💗
Stephie Mills just an update. I received 2 offers today 🤗🥳💎
I was recently pushed out of a toxic work environment because I would not participate in the toxicity of everyone from the supervisors down. The first time I've worked somewhere that everyone in the work place participated in it, worked against each other, and yet backed each other up so HR couldn't do anything about it. I was hired into "a situation" and pushed out of the job in a matter of months. I am disappointed but at the same time I appreciate what happened. It reminded me of my goals and focused me.
Hi. Same exact thing happened to me at a law firm. The mean girls were 6 blacks, a hand full of whites with power and security and a Latina manager who kissed a*s. I was forced out for the same reasons in 2 months, and now I'm in a non-toxic/negative workplace environment with civil, kind and professional people. The lies they told and the jealousy was unreal. If only there were cameras, because I personally recorder myself daily w/ my cameras and it didn't make a difference, they were all in it together. I hope Haley, the Spanish guy, and David get out too before it's too late.
Boy I relate to this so hard...I have a senior coworker who essentially stalks my colleagues on social media, always has something bad to say about others, and she is chummy with HR and honestly I don't think I can go a month longer working closely with this person. I'm handing my resignation in in a month. I'm pretty fed up. I applaud myself for holding on for this long in my current workplace (3 yrs). I never considered myself ageist until this point, but this 50-60yr old colleague is literally the type of person I would loathe to be around in highschool. She literally acts like a highschooler. I can't believe a person like this is in a high position at this company.
As a retired Fortune 500 Internal Audit manager, I found this to be a very intelligent overview of Stephie's experience in a toxic environment. It sounds like many of the staff were from upper class entitled colleges. I ran into the same issue early in my career with graduates of the University of Southern California (USC) who had cliques that excluded grads from local state colleges. It happens.
One example of a real toxic environment was from the 1980's when I was an internal audit manager at ARCO, the Los Angeles Oil firm (now part of BP) and we had two teams in Prudhoe Bay , Alaska for two weeks auditing construction programs. I led a team of two women, and another male led a team of two women. He was a narcissist male chauvinist from TEXAS who came from accounting to be our recruiter, then team leader. He constantly made inappropriate or chauvinist comments about his two female staff and appeared to be hitting on one who was dating another senior. At those times, there wasn't any diversity or gender training and we had no mechanism to report him. About 6-months later I had left the firm, and was called by one of my two female staffers. He was hitting on her and giving her bad reviews when she did not respond. She asked me to provide some feedback to her female director. I called that director, told her my observations. But, rather than counsel or fire the guy, they transferred him back to the Texas Accounting Division. Nowadays, there should be formal diversity training, reporting and counseling processes at most major firms. But also keep in mind that there are gender differences in my experience. Many women want to collaborate and be included in most decisions. But many men are naturally hierarchical in nature and focus on competition and running things. The two have to find ways to co-exist. Stephie's overview helps understand the two viewpoints.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience 💗 I love Texas but there definitely can be a good ol' boys club mentality in some places.
People are not polite and professional and cannot separate their personal values when instructing and keep a positive results based environment. I think a lot of people act like high school freshman. Sucks for the rest of us that actually act like we are there to do a job.
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but it's just as likely that what doesn't kill you will scar you for life leaving you worse off than you were. There are plenty of tough situations that are better to walk away from than deal with.
As an Accounting major this made me nervous lol.. I have social anxiety and literally cannot deal with people like that
Awww don't be nervous! Just have it in the back of your mind but keep a positive outlook! Everything you'll experience will only provide you with more and more skills 😁
I quit my accounting career because i don't to work with too many mean girls , now i am working in warehouse more like hand jobs but people are more kind and i am enjoying the job everyday , the pay are even better .
Unfortunately it happens in every environment, I have had to study narcissism to figure out why bullies tick, which helps. Sometimes they bully because they think the victim won't stand up to it. I have social anxiety and I have have had to gather evidence in a secret diary. You have to have evidence, which helps. Make sure you are not alone with someone, and make sure there is CCTV when you talk to people if you can. When you are alone, often the worst stuff happens.
literally had a nightmare about my spring internship last night so this is PERFECT timing
I hope it's nothing but positive experiences and if not, you got this 💪
You legit look like a great manager. These are the people that understand people and understand what they have to do to motivate and make a positive environment.
I wish I would have come across a Manager like you. I thank you on behalf of all the others that have been under your leadership.
When you said, "you feel like you are alone and that you did something to deserve it", i felt that.😥 It's funny because I watched your videos from way back when you touched on workplace toxicity and when it happened to me, I took your advice from those videos to deal with it and it helped me to cope with it. Never underestimate your influence on this platform for young professionals! 💕 (i also dealt with my videos being shared & made fun of too btw, was really hard to deal with 😔💔) I know many people in this profession who have dealt with these same scenarios, I was just nodding my head and agreeing the whole time! Something has to change.
Awww love- that makes me so mad!! Why do people feel the need to ridicule people about PRODUCTIVE things they're doing with their time vs being stalkers 🙄 I came to the conclusion they must not have much going for them if they're so concerned with our lives.
I'm glad to have shared even a little coping mechanisms, but I know it's much easier said than done. Ultimately we and the rest of our community have to be the change and I hope that happens! 💗
P.S. Your content is amazing and keep on keeping on sis 😘
@@WithStephie Yes, I think the same. At first it bothered me but then I'm like, we must be doing something good for so many people to be so worried about what we're doing online! Haha. I definitely want to help contribute to being a part of the change and highlighting toxic situations when they occur. And omg ty, you were my inspiration from day one!! 🤗
I quit my toxic job 7 months ago, my former shiftleader verbal abused and inappropriately touched me for the past 7 years. My former coworkers were bullies and wannabe bosses. They bully and verbal harras me. My former boss was a hypocrite and did nothing about the situations. So now I work at a hospital and I'm much more happier. At the same time I'm still dealing with PTSD. I'm not happy when I learned a former coworker from my previous is now working at my new job. He and the shiftleader are reason why I quit.
oh that is horrible, I had that once, an ex colleague working in the same job as me.. I left soon after
I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to watch this, but you are such a different person now! You are so much more calm and seem a lot more at peace. I am so happy you made the step to get yourself out of that toxic situation! I am in a public accounting firm (first year) and have heard it can be cliquey, so my plan is to just focus on me and getting my work done.
This was very interesting. Thanks for the insight. Same thing happened in my workplace, way too much people talking behind the backs. I really don’t understand this type of work culture does not get talked about anywhere within the company. Which can inevitably be their downfall in the future
Appreciated the video. I experienced a similar situation where my promotion was lookin like it was going to go left, thankfully it didn't. When i spoke out about the toxicity i had been feeling, it was not taken seriously and the solution to the firm was to separate me from those individuals. Eventually i left to another public accounting firm and am happier.
I feel in my spirit its time to leave, im at the point whereas i get nightmares and dont go to sleep until morning time.....
I just left a long term accounting position for another company. The women were a group of absolutely narcissistic, toxic, full of raging jealousy. I was totally blindsided as it was my first real job and it's really ruined my motivation for accounting. I'm done and ready to leave corporate all together.
Haven't even finished this video and thought you were talking about what I went through in public accounting! This crap is real.and hence why I left that company as they wanted me to work for them but yet once it came to layoffs the only person that survived was that toxic person..
Glad you are out of there!
Been through this, had co workers spreading petty gossip about me, trying to get people to hate me, generally childishness and petty jealousy, it's been a lot and last year it took a lot out of me mentally so much so I started getting physically sick. I'm currently doing my Msc online so I'm just waiting to finish that off and hopefully get another job
Thanks for sharing Stephie! I work in Tax so we aren’t as cliquey, but my friend in Audit had a very similar experience to your happy hour story. There was a group that decided to exclude new people too. Sucks that “professionals” are like this :(
Ugh I'm sorry to hear that for your friend 😔
it really does come down to the people you are working with.! thanks Stephie.. now I know what red flags to look out for.
I’ve had similar experiences with you 🥺😭. I constantly prayed for this person but when the last straw happened, I finally found the courage to quit and move on. I love the job but maybe something is in store for me outside the external audit life. +AMDG+ 🙏🏼
I'm sorry you had to deal with negativity but that's awesome you were able to find a new path 💗 definitely- it's all for a purpose 💗
I think this was helpful for anyone going through a tough time at work! Thanks for that!
Thank you for sharing. I was in a similar boat on my team, but only a staff. It hit hard when you talk about the girl who wasn’t invited to the happy hour because I experienced the same thing where my team fled the room at the end of the day and didn’t speak of the happy hour at all.
Ughhhh that's awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Continue being a diamond hun!
We so appreciate how open and vulnerable you are in this video. Thank you so much for sharing. It was a great reminder that we can all be a positive influence in our jobs. And we should treat people better. ❤️
I appreciate it Kendall!! Your team is very lucky to have you!
Couple minutes in and I’m subscribing- very well spoken/ great video
Hi Stephie, thank you for sharing your story. This situation is relatable and also happened to me in my first real world job. I was shocked at how unprofessional some people were. It felt like I was in highschool all over again. The workplace toxcity regarding gossip, name calling, and favoritism definitely takes a toll on your memtal health. Luckily, we both escaped the bad situation while developing our personal growth :)
I can't wait to leave my toxic environment, my needy, lonely, lazy, disrespectful colleagues , who treats work as a social gathering and get allowed to that.
Good luck on your journey, this topic doesn't get much coverage, I wish you could do more videos regarding toxic working environment with some advice.
I am choosing to talk to people face to face but once they openly disrespect you knowing there won't be any management support what should you do? I just need to work harder to get working from home job I guess?
Thanks for making this, Stephie! Your content literally just keeps getting better!
Thank you Christian!!
I’m currently stuck. I feel that that I’m being blamed for mistakes that are out of my hands and I’m overworked/under paid for the work I do. I feel like the work I produce is not being noticed by my direct manager.
I love what you said about being inclusive at work. Thank you for sharing, I admire your professionalism.
Thank you so much 💗
Thanks Stephie for sharing your story! I am going into PwC audit fall 21 and I been looking through reddit and UA-cam videos and found this to be eye opening. I guess in truer perspective, learning to manage yourself is the best medicine anyone to combat a life in PA.
Sounds very prevalent for accounting firms. I was IT at an accounting firm and it was one of the most miserable job experiences in my life. The gaslighting, favoritism, and lack of managerial skills all sound familiar. I worked very hard and they made it seem like it was never enough. Long story short, I saw through all the bs and saw that the job was staring to affect my personal life. I lasted 2 years and made a very successful escape which management never saw coming. Raised my salary by 30% and left two weeks prior to their busy season. NEVER AGAIN
You are a hero bro 👌
This is why I don’t tell anyone anything about my personal life at work, I don’t care if it’s just about my dogs. I am a teacher and if you tell person the whole school knows.
I quit my toxic job after 7 years, my former shiftleader was verbal abusive towards everyone and she would inappropriately touch people.
I literally just ignore my coworkers if they start talking about someone else in the office. I’m busy and don’t care what you think 😂
I was accused of killing a patient as a Student. A patient I was never assigned. A patient I never touched. Every facility I went to as a Student was venomous. I was cussed out at. I saw people fight each other. Back stabbing. When I started working it was even more poisonous. In the 4 years in the profession, I was in 4 different facilities and they were all the same. I was getting thoughts of suicide. And decided to leave this god awful profession. I’d rather leave the work now and move on.... than to stay and regret not leaving earlier. Peace of mind has no price. And venom consumes the soul.
that is a really serious accusation, wow
OMG this is what I fear. I'm trying to go into public accounting from industry so I can work under a CPA to get my license. I don't want to get stuck on a negative team. I do like how you are also real in your videos.😀
Hopefully you'll be on a good team! I don't know what it is in public accounting.... maybe some people don't have enough real work to keep them busy 🤷♀️🤣 focus on the work and leave the drama to them (if you ever experience this toxicness that is).
What do you tell a new employer why you left a toxic job? I feel like companies don’t want to hire you if you tell them you had a bad manager..
I keep my answers more forward looking like what I'm looking for in my next job duties, team dynamic, boss etc. I err on the side of keeping things factual (if they ask for a specific example, I'd share one but keep to what happened vs what I felt) and not dwelling or talking poorly (even if that's the real experience) about the people you're leaving because it doesn't really do any good. That's how I approach things usually.
Public accounting definitely teaches me a lot of lessons in both technical skills and life skills. I have an opportunity to work with different type of people and observe different interactions and reactions.
Thank you for sharing your experiences in dealing with a toxic work environment. It was very helpful and very relatable! Good luck and God Bless to you and your family.
Great video. I went through a similar situation and it does exist elsewhere. Document everything and sue if you have to.
What did you communicate in interviews after changing positions? Particularly when asked about why you want to change positions/firms? Were you honest about the drama or did you avoid bringing it up?
I was honest but tried to keep it drama free - they don't need to know the juicy details. I kept my answers forward looking like "I'm wanting to pursue a focus in internal controls". It's pretty easy when you're leaving public accounting. You can just say you're ready to leave client service work and want to focus more on building in-depth knowledge about a company.
Also if they pressed me more on why I'd say I wanted to be on a team that's collaborative and a positive, challenging environment. I'd suggest sharing in ways to communicate honest reasons without going into drama and gossip 😁
Stephie Mills Great advice! I love how you direct the answers regardless what happened.
Health is always more important than fighting to work with china bulls and ego driven bulldozers who have no class and think work is high school, I am so sorry you went through that. But it sounds like a few of my own past experiences so I can relate.
Thank you for this video 🙏🏼 definitely feeling less alone and more human 😊
Sending you all the positive vibes and a virtual hug 💗💗💗💗
i love hearing about your experiences and advice on being in the corporate world! I'm not in your field but your experience is so relatable! love your vids 😍
Thank you so much! 💗
Thanks for the sharing your experience with toxic people in work ! To be honest when I get new position as staff in big 4 I was a social butterfly (but I also was keen on learning methodology etc). It was for me l crucial, because in the previous job as accountant the whole team treated themselves like fam. Of course there have been ups and downs, but the chief accountant always managed out to clear every situation :) now back to big4- being social butterfly, friendly open minded and helpful to everyone made only an illusion of friendliness between me and coworkers. After your video I realize that even as I wanted so hard to find a new work fam, it wouldn't work out because ppl are different and not every one wishes other person the best :)
There's nothing wrong with being a social butterfly 💗 I think that's awesome so that you can help create an inclusive positive environment 🙌
I’ve just started my first public accounting role in corporate accounting. In 2 months, I’m already seeing every point you’re hitting on. As a woman and as a minority it really sucks that there are such evil and diabolical people in these offices. I hope I didn’t make the wrong decision with my career.
Thank you for being open. 👏🏼
I have been watching your videos consistently for a couple of days now, some I had to watch multiple times, lol. Just wanted to tell you that you are a nice and caring person “genuinely” and I would hit the like button x 100👏🏾👏🏾 if I could. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us and for keeping it real, so uplifting to watch!!😊💯
That probably happens everywhere.
Thank you for real life experience talk!
I wish I could work for myself and maybe one day I will. People suck!!
It’s in every job u go in 2023 if u a hard worker that’s what happens spiritual warfare
appreciate the honesty!!
I'm in Fintech and am currently working in an environment eerily similar to what you are describing
Ughh I'm sorry to hear that... hope things get better! Be a diamond 😏
Your chats are so interesting :D it's great you are willing to speak about your experiences. Would love to hear more about the wage gap or the constructive criticism which went wrong, xx
wao.... This is unbelievable !!! I can't believe Seniors do that. Great story by the way !!!!...
Hi Stephie, have you dealt with workplace bullies before? e.g. Scolding you out loud infront of everybody. Appreciate if you could make a video on that topic ☺️
I liked this video very informative. It was a little confusing because of the lack of background knowledge.
I'm 7 minutes in the video & already love what your saying 😊
I work with all women and one man. If that doesn’t spell disaster i don’t know what will.
Omg! I am in a similar situation. Great tips for going high and not low. It is hard at times though but thanks so much for sharing.
It's brave of you to speak up on this. Surely this was compounded by your race(?). Glad you asserted yourself to your co-worker. I similarly confront people privately when I have a problem with their attitude or was offended by their conduct. You're right, most people don't realize how they're coming across.
Do you think your senior manager was being hostile to induce you to quit?
Thank you I appreciate it. There was just so much to cover in this story that I left out some pretty evident unconscious biases that I feel certain individuals had. I feel that because I rocked the boat and didn't accept some of the bad behavior it caused the rift between me and the SM. As long as I went with the flow, apparently that kept me on their good side 🙄
I think in the past there wasn't any major issues that I felt I needed to spend my energy on like this particular engagement. But the SM would say some ignorant things every now and then (like "I didn't know Asians liked bbq" 🙄) and I just brushed it off as someone who just wasn't being "PC". But that was definitely a red flag I should've paid attention to. I think the SM acted that way because I was standing up for things and not just letting it slide.
Yes but when we bring up race, some smart people will say we are playing the race card.
Ohhh goodness! Get to the point! I’m leaving. It’s talking forever for them to start sharing her story.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. Question: what kinds of questions would you ask in an interview that could bring out any indication of a similar work environment?
A couple questions are below but honestly it's hard to tell until you're really in it. I think you'll have to balance following your gut feeling and trying to not make assumptions based on an initial impression. It's tough unless they start talking poorly about people right off the bat 🚩
How would you describe the team dynamic?
How is it working with each other?
Thank you for your disclosure about the commissions you receive for ShopStyle or Amazon. Are there any other forms of compensation that you receive, directly or indirectly, from making any of the videos on your channel?
Other than ad revenue through UA-cam and the commission links, no. Very infrequently I'll have a sponsored video but I'm very particular about working with companies so I don't do many. When I do, I disclose it in the video 🙂
How do you gain the confidence to stand up for yourself in toxic situations? I'm literally terrified that I will have bad experiences when I start working full time (like I did as an intern), but I feel like I'll be too scared to stick up for myself because I could easily be fired. Ugh I hope I get to work with nice people lol
It definitely took time!! I think at this point in my career, I felt confident to speak up. But I didn't feel that way earlier in my career. Also partially I felt empowered to speak up outside my team because I had some mentors in the partner group and asked for their advice. In the past, when I didn't have a support system in a job, it's hard to speak out without worrying about keeping your job because I felt no one would listen (other than HR).
I think it'll depend on the circumstance and your personality. Some people already would say something because that's natural to them. For me, I try to pick my battles and things that go against my moral code are what I make big deals to tackle.
Don't worry too much about it love! Just be aware of what to look out for, contribute to a positive inclusive environment and you'll be fine 💗
*Stephie Mills* 💚💚💚💚💚That is amazing💚💚💚💚💚💚
Toxic workplaces / management is really a Common Issue, you don't need any disclaimer about it -- I get why you are being cautious after the video on Gender Wage Equity feedback, but it's not the same as any other workplace issue.
Well said.
I agreed
Which recruiters did you contact to find a new job??
I have used SNI Financial, Unity Search and Lucas Group. I've also communicated with Robert Half but didn't get any jobs directly through them.
A lot of bullying is juvenile
They stalked you on social!?? They need a life
Pop
You never did one thing to deserve it not one most people have been working at their workplace for way too long policies change they don't like it and you are benefiting from that policy even if they already have benefits that you are not going to receive they still don't like it and they will try and make you leave by their actions and that's the worst part long story short the only thing you can do my advice would just be be quiet read the rule books do not listen to what they say because they're lying to you so you get in trouble read the rule books and no matter what they say unless you have no other choice follow the rule book because they can't complain that you're following the rules
what a nice intro new friend
Ur beautiful