This is easily the best type 6 video I’ve ever watched. It’s clear this took a lot of time and effort to put together, so thank you! I also really appreciated the part about Love Languages at the end. Seems pretty spot on! Quality time is often my biggest need in any relationship, but especially in my marriage.
This is great to hear! It certainly has taken a long time to create this relationship series, so compliments like this really do hit home 🙏 and thanks for sharing your love language!
By the 1:43 mark, my type 6 wife made me stop so she could catch her breath, and said she felt "called out 40,000 times." Very accurate and we both gave each other knowing looks throughout. She said this video for her type seemed more on point than last week's type 5 video (my type). I personally think they are both quite accurate. Thank you so much!
My ex bf (we were together 10 years before he had to move) is a 6w5. This is so spot on! I definitely saw the hyper vigilance with dealing with his family (very toxic) and chill when dealing with lots of other things because he felt more secure outside of them. Lots of indecisiveness but so attentive and loyal-truly wish his family appreciated him more. We still talk to each other and respect each other even though we aren’t together. He’s a wonderful soul! 🥰
Again, you nailed it. It's your talks that have helped me see how I morphed into a 5 box b/c of parenting. I love how, even in being mistyped, it can be helpful to see the truth about who we are not. It truly is a journey, as you realized the shoes you have been walking in are someone else's but what a relief when you can put on a pair of shoes that fits! (Or maybe eyeglasses would be a better metaphor. )
1.Traits of your first point yet again are traits of Scorpio moon, 2. I'm clearly 50/50 phobic vs. counter-phobic) and I basically am more intuitive than physical. 4. I believe there are times where there's collaboration in competition, 5. Same as my first point (exception be the codependence is emotional counterbalance). Points 1 and 5 are what confuses me as to whether I'm a 5 or 6 (5w6 or 6w5 specifically).
My sister is a six and she recently divorced her husband, who she had been with for only about a year. She definitely found her identity through him, even though she didn’t really agree with a lot of his morality (she must be starting to heal bc that’s why they broke up) but she stuck with him because it made her feel safe and secure, they were able to buy a house, but it was very creepy to see how much her personality changed with him, and how much she has become more herself without him. I was never able to fully understand my sister or figure out what her personality is. I could always tell there was never a strong sense of self. I can see how she vacillated at different points throughout our childhood to wanting to please our parents, and feel safe under their authority, to wanting to be independent, and be rebellious with her friends. She was constantly switching. It was very confusing. I’m a strong 4, so I felt like the outsider of my family and almost jealous because of how much they loved that she was doing all of the things that they wanted her to do. Looking back my sister looks like a three. Cheerleader, fairly popular, but also fairly independent, etc. The guy she ended up marrying, was creepily similar to my dad, which makes sense how you say about choosing someone who resembles the protective figure in the home as a way to feel secure. My dad is a controlling and verbally abusive 1. Due to his own dad‘s abuse. I’m still working through a lot of trauma and self doubt that he gave me. This stuff is creepily creepily accurate. These types are so fascinating and I have my entire family pinned down.
Bundle of contradictions definitely describes my type 6 husband! This was such a great video to help me understand him better. Also your description of counterphobic 6s made so much sense. I would love to get some information about enneagram relationship combinations (specifically I’m a 9 and he’s a 6) or parent-child combinations (I have a 7 daughter and 5 son). Thank you for your excellent content! You’re really good at saying it like it is even if it hurts (but in a good way that helps motivate me to do the work and move towards health)!
Thanks so much! Always great to hear how this content resonates with real relationships. And my next step is to do all the enneagram relationship pairings - just gunna take me quite some time to craft 😅
@@YouveGotaTypeyes, please do some content on parenting different types/ how to discern your child's type. There's not a lot of enneagram info out there for parenting.
2:24 This is such a cool concept for me to think about. On and off for the last 4 years I have dated a type 6 with impeccable memory, and she has only felt secure with time. This time around, she has no doubts about how I (4w3) feel about her because of how long it’s remained to feel special between us, despite our many attempts at just being friends. She’s never really needed reminders because of how well she remembers my behavior over time. The way you split each section was great, and I think it honors the type 6 well. Thank you for doing these!!
Great video! Very insightful and straight to the point! Many tests I took (and people I talked with) said that I'm a 2w1 because I'm usually extremely passionate and loving, giving my all to the people I care about, often neglecting my own needs. But more and more videos I watch I seem to come to the conclusion that I might be 6w7 after all! Never in my life I felt truly confident in what I'm doing and paralyzing sense of getting lost and just being not good enough keeps following me everywhere. I always play devil's advocate, always doubt my or others intentions but I'm trying to learn my boundaries by speaking to my trusted friends about the intrusive thoughts I have to help me calm down. Which is why I always feel like doing something good for them in return! Once again thank you for this video, I enjoy learning new things about myself and others!
Thank you so much for these videos! They are so informative and I love how concise and on point you make them 😊 I’m currently in the phase of planning my new book and my main character is a 6, about to embark on a rocky relationship with a 5, so that will be interesting! 😁 You’re videos are helping me so much, thank you again and keep up the great work! 🙏💪
Wish i could like this video again , but i leave a comment instead! Very helpful, and think this is my actual type . I can seem like an 8 or a 2 on the surface, but it's all fueled by anxiety /fear. I kind of use it as a hack to get things done . If i run out of things to fear, or feel safe , i fall into this passive state .. which can turn into melancholy after a while . This only happens in commited relationships though.. being single keeps me more alerted.. can be due to the arrows of integration/disintegration you mentioned
I will say this, when I drift into my six wing and use my poor life choices of living in my seven... yikes... Talk about a bundle of hot mess with a red thread board at least 10 miles long. I think this is why I get a hoot out of conspiracies mainly for how far people will go to make a narrative work. The twists and turns, the logical leaps and everything between to reassure themselves and the world they know what is really going on. Thanks for the reminder here to stay a little more brave when I lean on my six, even though that side is far more entertaining to bully around than my four.
This was pretty accurate even with the love language at the end is quality time for me primarily but I can appreciate any of them in the right circumstances, but you're right that we can question anything else if something seems off or manipulative about it. That's when the independence and sense of self kicks in. I'm a 6w5 and I am all contradictions, but when they're all put together everything makes sense and nothing contradicts at all and it's just reflections. As is above, so is below; and all of my contractions are just mirror images.
So concise and thorough - love how you can condense so much information and knowledge into understandable bites. Brilliant. Thank you! You're one of the best Enneagram experts I've found. Bless.🙏
The most organized and clear enneagram channel Thanks for your wonderful content❤ Also I'd like to know the difference between 1 and 8 because I see them extremely similar that I can't tell the difference between them, I suspect being one of them, but still can't tell them a part... I watched your videos, but the similarities still exist... Especially that both of them fight for the sake of justice and they're extremely aggressive when there's something unfair
Thanks so much! I’ll cover a lot of those differences in the 1-8 relationship episode coming soon(ish). Got a lot of enneagram pairings to get though before those are live, but they are coming! In short, 8s have no shame around their anger whereas 1s try to suppress their anger because it feels morally wrong. They do bond over fairness, but 1s don’t go into vigilante mode quite like 8s. 1s also have far less physical energy than 8s, which usually makes them easy to spot.
Surprised by all the stuff about 6s memory. I'm 5w4 sx/so and my gf is a 6w5 sp/sx, and she clearly keeps a infinite memory safe of everything we talk about. I just criticize each memory😂 It must be correlated to the fact she is an intj, so each experience and new knowledge is added to the brain data center and makes it doubt about itself at the same time. It's like willing to know everything to stop being afraid, but every new information is probably the one which says she's gone too far
My exhusband got mad at me for dropping platitudes left, and right through out the marriage. Hahahahahah. So this is interesting because this also describes me but not all the way. I definitely collect dysfunctional people. I'm their free therapist, and they all have certain skillsets. I sometimes crack jokes that I'm being Sarah Connor collecting people like she did. I do have friends with different skillsets though, and they bring unique values that sometimes helps other people I know. I thought the media content from the 80s made me this way. There was always something of doom coming in the near future. I couldn't help but try and be prepared. I just wanted to be that person that makes it to the end, or almost. Not the first to go down lol. Thank you again for the insight!
Thanks for diving in and sharing how it does/doesn't resonate! My last disclaimer is that no type describes us 100% - so try to focus on those core motivations rather than personality traits if you're still unsure. Either way, thanks for watching & sharing your personal experience 🙏
What makes someone’s love language gifts? I’m struggling to moralize something so trivial compared against something more valuable such as touch and words of affirmation. Am I wrong to think gifts as a love language feels unloving or shallow? Asking to better understand people I love who’s love language has been expressed as gift receiving. something I don’t personally enjoy. When people gift me even a card I cry uncontrollably. Im notorious for loosing it during birthday celebrations. I usually don’t have one to avoid the shame I feel from people spending money on me. And come to think of it probably my lack of the gifts I really want being touch and positive reassurance. When I gift people I go so above and beyond and think about something special and personal to them. Any insight is appreciated as I’m earnestly attempting to deepen my understanding of individuals needs. Thank you -4w5 female 30 years old
I think the concept of gifts as a love language doesn't come from it being about the gift itself, but the thought behind it (cliche I know). It's the fact that this person remembered something from your time spent together and said "hey, I remembered (you). This reminds me of (you)" and so they get you something to show they thought of you and remembered you. Personally, knowing that I'm on a loved one's mind touches my heart so much, and the fact that there is something physical that symbolizes that thought is precious. Plus, it doesn't have to be expensive. It can be your friend making you a charm bracelet and remembered you liked bracelets and love the colour yellow. It can be your child drawing a picture of you because they wanted to draw someone they love. The physical gift can be small but the thought behind it, to me, is an immense way of saying 'I love you'. I feel that physical touch and gifts are one of the tangible ways of holding someone's love for you.
I am not sure if you have answer to this question... I know it's not possible to say for sure... so I understand you think this is a stupid question. I am wondering if you know if type 6 can get violent when they don't feel safe in a relationship? You video helps me gain more understanding and empathy for 6s anxiety and reactivity... but it's scary because I constantly feel like I am dating 2 different people at the same time. He can lash out and then apologize (very rationally and kindly, not just vigilantly) the next morning. I am scared that if I continue in a relationship with a 6, one day he may hit me when he gets angry and apologize the next morning...
If you feel that kinda fear, that's a major red flag no matter what their enneagram type. Dysfunction and abuse can come from any personality type that's as unhealthy as that. And yes, very unhealthy (emphasis on very unhealthy) 6s can lash out physically as a way of attacking what they are afraid may hurt them and I've worked with several people where this has happened (even a female 6 physically abusing her boyfriend). If they fear you may leave them, they can get violent. If you feel that physical abuse is even the slightest possibility in your relationship, then you should pack your things and leave today. That kind of fear is not present in a healthy, loving relationship.
Hopefully you weren't looking for a pep talk :) The enneagram is inherently self-critical as it's a tool for picking away at the ego, so we can become our true self.
From what I've seen 6s tend to take the message of the enneagram harder than most because they are the most "honest" about their fears among the head types. As a 5 I was able to intellectualize the message until I really sat with it and experienced the pain on a deep level. With sixes the fear is less held at a distance so the enneagram message hits home very fast
Big thanks to everyone watching, liking, & subscribing! This series has been a huge labor of love and it's been so great to see your response 🧡
I'm re-playing this every morning to maintain my sanity
lol hope it helps 🙌
@@YouveGotaType it does very much! Thank you!
This is easily the best type 6 video I’ve ever watched. It’s clear this took a lot of time and effort to put together, so thank you! I also really appreciated the part about Love Languages at the end. Seems pretty spot on! Quality time is often my biggest need in any relationship, but especially in my marriage.
This is great to hear! It certainly has taken a long time to create this relationship series, so compliments like this really do hit home 🙏 and thanks for sharing your love language!
By the 1:43 mark, my type 6 wife made me stop so she could catch her breath, and said she felt "called out 40,000 times." Very accurate and we both gave each other knowing looks throughout. She said this video for her type seemed more on point than last week's type 5 video (my type). I personally think they are both quite accurate. Thank you so much!
Love this :) thanks so much for sharing! And I'm glad y'all are both resonating with your type's videos 🙌
Bruh, as a 6w5, I have been listening to this video over and over again, but I still feel overwhelmed. HAHAHA
My ex bf (we were together 10 years before he had to move) is a 6w5. This is so spot on! I definitely saw the hyper vigilance with dealing with his family (very toxic) and chill when dealing with lots of other things because he felt more secure outside of them. Lots of indecisiveness but so attentive and loyal-truly wish his family appreciated him more. We still talk to each other and respect each other even though we aren’t together. He’s a wonderful soul! 🥰
Thanks so much for sharing 🙏 Just out of curiosity, what's your type?
@@YouveGotaType Thanks for your video!! I’m a 4w3 so/sp ✨
You nailed it! I'm a six, and I'm amazed at how many things you explain to me about myself!😂
So glad to hear it!
Again, you nailed it. It's your talks that have helped me see how I morphed into a 5 box b/c of parenting. I love how, even in being mistyped, it can be helpful to see the truth about who we are not. It truly is a journey, as you realized the shoes you have been walking in are someone else's but what a relief when you can put on a pair of shoes that fits! (Or maybe eyeglasses would be a better metaphor. )
Love to hear this, and so glad the videos helped!
1.Traits of your first point yet again are traits of Scorpio moon, 2. I'm clearly 50/50 phobic vs. counter-phobic) and I basically am more intuitive than physical. 4. I believe there are times where there's collaboration in competition, 5. Same as my first point (exception be the codependence is emotional counterbalance). Points 1 and 5 are what confuses me as to whether I'm a 5 or 6 (5w6 or 6w5 specifically).
My sister is a six and she recently divorced her husband, who she had been with for only about a year. She definitely found her identity through him, even though she didn’t really agree with a lot of his morality (she must be starting to heal bc that’s why they broke up) but she stuck with him because it made her feel safe and secure, they were able to buy a house, but it was very creepy to see how much her personality changed with him, and how much she has become more herself without him. I was never able to fully understand my sister or figure out what her personality is. I could always tell there was never a strong sense of self. I can see how she vacillated at different points throughout our childhood to wanting to please our parents, and feel safe under their authority, to wanting to be independent, and be rebellious with her friends. She was constantly switching. It was very confusing. I’m a strong 4, so I felt like the outsider of my family and almost jealous because of how much they loved that she was doing all of the things that they wanted her to do. Looking back my sister looks like a three. Cheerleader, fairly popular, but also fairly independent, etc. The guy she ended up marrying, was creepily similar to my dad, which makes sense how you say about choosing someone who resembles the protective figure in the home as a way to feel secure. My dad is a controlling and verbally abusive 1. Due to his own dad‘s abuse. I’m still working through a lot of trauma and self doubt that he gave me. This stuff is creepily creepily accurate. These types are so fascinating and I have my entire family pinned down.
Bundle of contradictions definitely describes my type 6 husband! This was such a great video to help me understand him better. Also your description of counterphobic 6s made so much sense. I would love to get some information about enneagram relationship combinations (specifically I’m a 9 and he’s a 6) or parent-child combinations (I have a 7 daughter and 5 son). Thank you for your excellent content! You’re really good at saying it like it is even if it hurts (but in a good way that helps motivate me to do the work and move towards health)!
Thanks so much! Always great to hear how this content resonates with real relationships. And my next step is to do all the enneagram relationship pairings - just gunna take me quite some time to craft 😅
@@YouveGotaTypeyes, please do some content on parenting different types/ how to discern your child's type. There's not a lot of enneagram info out there for parenting.
I... feel... so... heard. I've watched some of your other videos. But damn, this one feels spot on.
Love to hear it 🙌
2:24
This is such a cool concept for me to think about. On and off for the last 4 years I have dated a type 6 with impeccable memory, and she has only felt secure with time. This time around, she has no doubts about how I (4w3) feel about her because of how long it’s remained to feel special between us, despite our many attempts at just being friends. She’s never really needed reminders because of how well she remembers my behavior over time.
The way you split each section was great, and I think it honors the type 6 well. Thank you for doing these!!
Glad to hear it bro, and thanks for sharing your personal experience of these theories! Best wishes on your relationship 🙌 🧡 💜
Great video! Very insightful and straight to the point!
Many tests I took (and people I talked with) said that I'm a 2w1 because I'm usually extremely passionate and loving, giving my all to the people I care about, often neglecting my own needs.
But more and more videos I watch I seem to come to the conclusion that I might be 6w7 after all! Never in my life I felt truly confident in what I'm doing and paralyzing sense of getting lost and just being not good enough keeps following me everywhere. I always play devil's advocate, always doubt my or others intentions but I'm trying to learn my boundaries by speaking to my trusted friends about the intrusive thoughts I have to help me calm down. Which is why I always feel like doing something good for them in return!
Once again thank you for this video, I enjoy learning new things about myself and others!
Thank you so much for these videos! They are so informative and I love how concise and on point you make them 😊 I’m currently in the phase of planning my new book and my main character is a 6, about to embark on a rocky relationship with a 5, so that will be interesting! 😁 You’re videos are helping me so much, thank you again and keep up the great work! 🙏💪
This is great to hear! So glad you're finding them helpful.
As always, such insightful and digestible content - helps me understand an important 6 in my life.
Thanks so much - and very glad to hear it 🙌
The 5 Love Language part had me 🤣🤣🤣 and my hubby says, "That explains a lot." 🤣
Wish i could like this video again , but i leave a comment instead!
Very helpful, and think this is my actual type . I can seem like an 8 or a 2 on the surface, but it's all fueled by anxiety /fear. I kind of use it as a hack to get things done .
If i run out of things to fear, or feel safe , i fall into this passive state .. which can turn into melancholy after a while . This only happens in commited relationships though.. being single keeps me more alerted.. can be due to the arrows of integration/disintegration you mentioned
I will say this, when I drift into my six wing and use my poor life choices of living in my seven... yikes... Talk about a bundle of hot mess with a red thread board at least 10 miles long. I think this is why I get a hoot out of conspiracies mainly for how far people will go to make a narrative work. The twists and turns, the logical leaps and everything between to reassure themselves and the world they know what is really going on.
Thanks for the reminder here to stay a little more brave when I lean on my six, even though that side is far more entertaining to bully around than my four.
Thanks for always watching & engaging!
Oh my gosh, as a 6w7, this is sooooo accurate!
So glad it felt accurate!
This was pretty accurate even with the love language at the end is quality time for me primarily but I can appreciate any of them in the right circumstances, but you're right that we can question anything else if something seems off or manipulative about it. That's when the independence and sense of self kicks in. I'm a 6w5 and I am all contradictions, but when they're all put together everything makes sense and nothing contradicts at all and it's just reflections. As is above, so is below; and all of my contractions are just mirror images.
Thanks for sharing and glad it resonated!
Holy hell, I feel so seen! 😂 Thank you for your videos, they’re so helpful and insightful.
Love to hear it! And glad it felt accurate :)
yesss. they are a bag of contradictions.. this is spot on my husband 😙
🙌
So concise and thorough - love how you can condense so much information and knowledge into understandable bites. Brilliant. Thank you! You're one of the best Enneagram experts I've found. Bless.🙏
Thank you so much for this wonderful compliment!
The most organized and clear enneagram channel
Thanks for your wonderful content❤
Also I'd like to know the difference between 1 and 8 because I see them extremely similar that I can't tell the difference between them, I suspect being one of them, but still can't tell them a part... I watched your videos, but the similarities still exist... Especially that both of them fight for the sake of justice and they're extremely aggressive when there's something unfair
Thanks so much!
I’ll cover a lot of those differences in the 1-8 relationship episode coming soon(ish). Got a lot of enneagram pairings to get though before those are live, but they are coming!
In short, 8s have no shame around their anger whereas 1s try to suppress their anger because it feels morally wrong. They do bond over fairness, but 1s don’t go into vigilante mode quite like 8s. 1s also have far less physical energy than 8s, which usually makes them easy to spot.
Hi! Great video! Will you please make a type 4 and type 6 in a relationship video? Thanks!
It's coming :)
Surprised by all the stuff about 6s memory. I'm 5w4 sx/so and my gf is a 6w5 sp/sx, and she clearly keeps a infinite memory safe of everything we talk about.
I just criticize each memory😂
It must be correlated to the fact she is an intj, so each experience and new knowledge is added to the brain data center and makes it doubt about itself at the same time.
It's like willing to know everything to stop being afraid, but every new information is probably the one which says she's gone too far
My exhusband got mad at me for dropping platitudes left, and right through out the marriage. Hahahahahah. So this is interesting because this also describes me but not all the way. I definitely collect dysfunctional people. I'm their free therapist, and they all have certain skillsets. I sometimes crack jokes that I'm being Sarah Connor collecting people like she did. I do have friends with different skillsets though, and they bring unique values that sometimes helps other people I know. I thought the media content from the 80s made me this way. There was always something of doom coming in the near future. I couldn't help but try and be prepared. I just wanted to be that person that makes it to the end, or almost. Not the first to go down lol. Thank you again for the insight!
Thanks for diving in and sharing how it does/doesn't resonate! My last disclaimer is that no type describes us 100% - so try to focus on those core motivations rather than personality traits if you're still unsure. Either way, thanks for watching & sharing your personal experience 🙏
i am a six, this video is 100% accurate! you know me, more than myself. 🤣
🙌
Commitment over success 🤯
Enneagram test seems more accurate than the Meyers Briggs test
I believe the enneagram system is aimed a far different purpose than MBTI, that's for sure!
What makes someone’s love language gifts? I’m struggling to moralize something so trivial compared against something more valuable such as touch and words of affirmation. Am I wrong to think gifts as a love language feels unloving or shallow? Asking to better understand people I love who’s love language has been expressed as gift receiving. something I don’t personally enjoy. When people gift me even a card I cry uncontrollably. Im notorious for loosing it during birthday celebrations. I usually don’t have one to avoid the shame I feel from people spending money on me. And come to think of it probably my lack of the gifts I really want being touch and positive reassurance. When I gift people I go so above and beyond and think about something special and personal to them. Any insight is appreciated as I’m earnestly attempting to deepen my understanding of individuals needs. Thank you -4w5 female 30 years old
I think the concept of gifts as a love language doesn't come from it being about the gift itself, but the thought behind it (cliche I know). It's the fact that this person remembered something from your time spent together and said "hey, I remembered (you). This reminds me of (you)" and so they get you something to show they thought of you and remembered you. Personally, knowing that I'm on a loved one's mind touches my heart so much, and the fact that there is something physical that symbolizes that thought is precious. Plus, it doesn't have to be expensive. It can be your friend making you a charm bracelet and remembered you liked bracelets and love the colour yellow. It can be your child drawing a picture of you because they wanted to draw someone they love. The physical gift can be small but the thought behind it, to me, is an immense way of saying 'I love you'. I feel that physical touch and gifts are one of the tangible ways of holding someone's love for you.
@@miniplants3558 this message feels like a gift and for this I thank you. Insightful and very helpful I appreciate it
I am not sure if you have answer to this question... I know it's not possible to say for sure... so I understand you think this is a stupid question. I am wondering if you know if type 6 can get violent when they don't feel safe in a relationship? You video helps me gain more understanding and empathy for 6s anxiety and reactivity... but it's scary because I constantly feel like I am dating 2 different people at the same time. He can lash out and then apologize (very rationally and kindly, not just vigilantly) the next morning. I am scared that if I continue in a relationship with a 6, one day he may hit me when he gets angry and apologize the next morning...
If you feel that kinda fear, that's a major red flag no matter what their enneagram type. Dysfunction and abuse can come from any personality type that's as unhealthy as that. And yes, very unhealthy (emphasis on very unhealthy) 6s can lash out physically as a way of attacking what they are afraid may hurt them and I've worked with several people where this has happened (even a female 6 physically abusing her boyfriend). If they fear you may leave them, they can get violent. If you feel that physical abuse is even the slightest possibility in your relationship, then you should pack your things and leave today. That kind of fear is not present in a healthy, loving relationship.
6:30-something about 9
10:29- partnerships
12:30-quality time as top or second choice
💯💯💯
🙌
This is why I can't marry anyone. I'm crazy
😬
No you're fine ❤
So many bad things about 6 🥲
Hopefully you weren't looking for a pep talk :) The enneagram is inherently self-critical as it's a tool for picking away at the ego, so we can become our true self.
From what I've seen 6s tend to take the message of the enneagram harder than most because they are the most "honest" about their fears among the head types. As a 5 I was able to intellectualize the message until I really sat with it and experienced the pain on a deep level. With sixes the fear is less held at a distance so the enneagram message hits home very fast