You cannot please everyone. A wise advice is - Don't react to people's criticism and don't take things personally. That's what maturity is all about. All things are impermanent.. Cheers, Jay.
Thank you, appreciate you saying so. Have nothing against them at all but just feel that approach to self-improvement is damaging and focused on the ego.
Good that you didn‘t let it get to you. I had a somewhat similar situation recently where in a job interview, the interviewer gave me criticism in a quite blunt/unprofessional way and he was also a bit of an arrogant knob in general. In the moment I stayed calm, afterwards I was irritated, and ultimately I reflected on what he said and despite him being unprofessional about it, there was truth to what he said, so I used that criticism to improve. If I‘d sugarcoated it and said to myself „no the guy must be wrong“ even though I knew it better myself, I would‘ve only set myself up for the same mistake.
That shows a real strong sense of self and massive respect for looking at the criticism, taking what was good and disgarding the rest. Hope you gave yourself a pat on the back for that, you're a lot further along the self-development journey than most.
Thank you, yeah I've noticed a massive increase in traffic from making these more organic and raw videos and it's nice to see how many people are finding them useful
Good constructive chat Jay, not keen on this format and don't usually watch guys chatting to camera in a car but you were worth listening to. Yes I have had great stress in my life being over sensitive soul to criticism from others, it can and does take many forms. Loneliness was my companion for many years despite being in long term relationships, I have come to realise acceptance does not come from without but from within me!!! Now i am never lonely because I am my best friend, friends often come and go yet me is always there, loving and kind, experiencing many happy moments with and without people being around. I am 70 next year and am glad my attempt on my life at 16 failed, sometimes failure leads to success Jay as you say? Thank you man, please keep up the good work...think you are a great guy...namaste
@@JayWallace something I try and do but it’s really hard. Like you say, we now all live within our algorithms and are constantly pushed down a certain narrative and someone disagreeing or challenging that view seems to feel like a personal attack rather than trying to understand why, no-one has all the answers and often the truth lies somewhere in between. If we are able to take a step back, ask/think why rather than immediately close off, get defensive and shut down the topic then hopefully we’ll all learn something new.
14:40 - every one of your videos benefits someone I’m sure, I find them very useful. Look forward to your uploads. As a 23 year old, you ARE helping a younger person. Cheers mate
thats when you know you won ... stalking me for 3 years, recording and collecting every bad thing i ever did in my life, and yes, it worked. props to you
Thanks Jay….! This was just the “kick in the pants” I needed to develop a tougher skin. My experience in my younger years was similar to yours in that, I grew up with hyper critical parents. Similarly, I spent my early adult years avoiding criticism by striving for perfection. Needless to say, by my late thirties, I was completely burned out. Nowadays, I’m living for me unapologetically, and slowly, I’m learning to not have so much anxiety over someone else’s dissatisfaction ~ Thanks Again! Keep Growing 🎈
Awesome, so glad to hear it helped. There was a book I found really useful in the beginning of my journey - "no more mr nice guy" - seems like you're a bit further along that I was but you might find some wisdom in it. Thanks for sharing.
Nice one mate, I had that similar worry of criticism when I started uploading on my channel as I thought people would think I was sad and weird since it was just about roads and driving. Turns out I was completely wrong which that has really helped and made me see the criticism in a more positive way. As for subscribers and views I’ve never been too fussed about either (although I have smiled whenever I’ve hit landmarks) as this channel has always been more of a hobby for me as it involves me doing something I love and something which fascinates me.
I think you've got exactly the right attitude, do it because you love it and everything else is a bonus. Really hard not to get sucked into the metrics but I'm trying. Really admire your consistency as well, I know you've been following the channel for a while now and you've been uploading that whole time, kudos.
The impact of someone not liking you, or you disappointing them in some way, is typically much worse in your head than reality. Or so I’ve been learning! And I’d not heard about the connection between not liking groups of people and trying to control their opinion of you. I figured that just made me an introvert. Maybe this is something for me to ponder!
@@JayWallace it's how I handle the feelings of "everyone hates me/thinks I'm stupid/etc" - because really, *8 billion people* are not concerned with me.
@@relaxandunwind564 How i handle the feelings of everyone hates me like you desribed, is by recognizing that those are thoughts I am having, what other people think of you is outside of your control completley, everyone sees you differently. You can not predict the perspectives of others, only change how you feel about your view of yourself.
most of our problem is that we don't want our image to get hurt so we put on this personas where genuine connections is no longer reachable..It's none of our fault. the system is to blame because it is not being taught or exercise enough for open communication and understanding. we all have our own agendas I suppose and it's taking away human to human intelligent dialogue and understanding.
for some people, seeing a person who is fully comfortable in their own skin, fully as themselves and being 'their own person', is threatening, since they guide their own selves according to external expectation firstly and only. They expect others therefore, to be equally under the weight of external expectation, and when they see a person who seems totally free of it, it comes across as 'breaking' the rule/expectation, and therefore deserving of condemnation, in whatever way such can be mustered, whatever lengths and obfuscations it takes in order to bring shame to this rule-breaker, in order to bring him/her back in line again the way he is always keeping himself in line. These people are sad. Edit: relevance.. but I'll still leave this here
Very insightful, thanks for sharing. Had never really considered that people might find another person lifestyle threatening but it makes sense. If there's someone doing something the opposite way to what you were taught and they're happy, then you have to either reject that notion or accept that you're doing something wrong.
For those lacking confidence remember that hurt people, hurt people. Nobody putting you down is worth your time and are just as in need of help (or more) as the people they destructively criticize. We all have to examine ourselves alot closer and the world will be happier for it💚
I don't get the fixation on becoming popular on UA-cam and focusing on subscriber count. It's been well-documented that celebrities hate the fame that they acquired through the things do/passions they have, so you only start to regret the desire to want to be popular once you're up there. Like you said, building and fostering a close-knit community is a healthier, realistic expectation and goal for your UA-cam channel. We're all (still) here, cuz we're on this "rollercoaster of ups and downs" called LIFE together. By the way, I'm super glad you took that video and "criticism" in stride. Good on you, Jay :)
Thanks, I've got no desire to be famous but it is hard not to get caught up in the metrics game. After all, I would like to do this full-time and so people seeing and engaging with the content is important, to an extent. However, I'm learning there are better ways to do things that align with my values. Thanks for the comment
it gets funny when critisism doesn't work and they start sabotaging and stealing what your working on or stealing something else to distract you... well, if its going to waste my time, may as well call the cops :)
I’m at a place in life where I don’t hold on to criticism OR praise. You like what I did? Awesome. Wait till you see what I do next! You despise what I did? Oh… alright. Wait till you see what I do next! 🤷 I have high enough standards for my own self that what anyone else says truly does roll off like sweat. You have to remember to put out what YOU like. You don’t have to accept anything you didn’t ask for, including opinions.
Dear, just do not care about critism and people. Only accept good people. Need to have only positive energy nowadays to survive in this sick world. You are worth. Nothing wrong to express yourself, is a good thing. Remember stay positive and try do things that you love. Take care ❤
I feel that the youtubers that make videos of other peoples content do not have a creative bone in their body. Be proud you are being you on here and sharing your life with the world. That guy is a piggybacker lol. He uses genuine video creations to rag on them and make his uncreative videos lol.
Legion of Men is strictly an "alpha male", semi-redpill channel. He comes from a certain angle at all times, most of it being about masculinity, traditionalism, viewing the number of women you've been with as a yardstick of sorts. It's like being a bit like a discount Andrew Tate. I suggest not taking the advice or criticism of such people too seriously, if at all.
Thanks, I respect everyone's right to an opinion, even the ones that don't agree with mine! There's been a lot of guys from that channel that came over here appreciating that there might be a different way to do things except flogging themselves, so I can only be grateful for that.
Well, I found your videos made me feel less isolated and crazy in what is an otherwise insane world. That guys video was just looking for an easy way to get a video with views. He added nothing of value to the conversation, so more of a waste of time then anything
Jay, I understand. But, the alternative not to face opposition is paying for adds. But it's not free. The same for the teacher in front of you AT school for just poor wage. It's up to you. When I write it, I'm speaking to me first. Take care.
Critisism is a form of bullying. Most people who critizise don't use it as a form to improve you which it should be but to push you down because they feel terrible about themselves. So I would say if it is good critic you probably won't even notice because they won't point out flaws but say more like that if you did it like this instead you get better result. If you get critic but no advice of improvement then it can just be that they feel terrible inside and they feel better pushing it on you. It's not easy to not get triggered but try, they are not worth to win to make you sad though stay true to your feelings if you need to process things you need to let it happen too. I don't really agree it is good to get a lot of critisism, it can to become insecure, afraid of humans so I would say try to find people who appreciate and love you even with your imperfections.
Have nothing against this red-pill stuff at all but just feel that approach to self-improvement is damaging and focused on the ego. It'll always be about trying to be better and comparisons.
Bo from Tribe of Men thinks he's a know it all, I used to be subscribed to his channel and liked his content, but the more I watched the more I got repulsed by his way of viewing and criticizing things.
"Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from."
Love that
Well said.
Stealing that, thanks...
Some people are just so obnoxcious, condescending, and ignorant.
They can be for sure, I find it's easier to focus on the loving, generous ones though, there are plenty of them out there if you look
It's no good measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
Absolutely
The fact he called you out and gave you some exposure is a positive 👍
Exactly!
Good luck out there, I have been misunderstood throughout my whole life so I tend to keep to myself loads these days.
I can relate.
To misunderstand, people have to understand first - and most don't / can't.
Me too. After I lost my last job I don’t deal with people unless I have to.
‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’: a book everyone should read
Read it a couple of years ago now but might be time to reread
You cannot please everyone. A wise advice is - Don't react to people's criticism and don't take things personally. That's what maturity is all about. All things are impermanent.. Cheers, Jay.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom :)
You are a lot more level headed than all these alpha male, red pill, dude bros!!!
Thank you, appreciate you saying so. Have nothing against them at all but just feel that approach to self-improvement is damaging and focused on the ego.
It's very painful to be lonely in your thirties because at that age you put your worth on it have anxiety and trauma it's devastating 😭
It was certainly a really tough time in my last but also the one where I experienced the most growth. Wouldn't change it for the world.
Good that you didn‘t let it get to you. I had a somewhat similar situation recently where in a job interview, the interviewer gave me criticism in a quite blunt/unprofessional way and he was also a bit of an arrogant knob in general. In the moment I stayed calm, afterwards I was irritated, and ultimately I reflected on what he said and despite him being unprofessional about it, there was truth to what he said, so I used that criticism to improve.
If I‘d sugarcoated it and said to myself „no the guy must be wrong“ even though I knew it better myself, I would‘ve only set myself up for the same mistake.
That shows a real strong sense of self and massive respect for looking at the criticism, taking what was good and disgarding the rest.
Hope you gave yourself a pat on the back for that, you're a lot further along the self-development journey than most.
I find your videos helpful, I’m glad you are doing so well with them and identifying with others at the same time Xx
Thank you, yeah I've noticed a massive increase in traffic from making these more organic and raw videos and it's nice to see how many people are finding them useful
Good constructive chat Jay, not keen on this format and don't usually watch guys chatting to camera in a car but you were worth listening to. Yes I have had great stress in my life being over sensitive soul to criticism from others, it can and does take many forms. Loneliness was my companion for many years despite being in long term relationships, I have come to realise acceptance does not come from without but from within me!!!
Now i am never lonely because I am my best friend, friends often come and go yet me is always there, loving and kind, experiencing many happy moments with and without people being around.
I am 70 next year and am glad my attempt on my life at 16 failed, sometimes failure leads to success Jay as you say?
Thank you man, please keep up the good work...think you are a great guy...namaste
Great channel, honest, open, upfront and very-much appreciated.
Thank you, appreciate the feedback and welcome
I deal with it all the time it's horrible people that are rude and disrespectful i find it's mainly women.
Oh please...grow up lose....r
If certain people don´t like me - it´s totally okay for me - as long as they leave me alone.
“Be curious, not judgemental”
I like that
@@JayWallace it's actually a huge part of my career (anthropology/nursing)
@@JayWallace something I try and do but it’s really hard. Like you say, we now all live within our algorithms and are constantly pushed down a certain narrative and someone disagreeing or challenging that view seems to feel like a personal attack rather than trying to understand why, no-one has all the answers and often the truth lies somewhere in between.
If we are able to take a step back, ask/think why rather than immediately close off, get defensive and shut down the topic then hopefully we’ll all learn something new.
This is a really good video and something I needed to hear.
Thank you, I'm glad it helped.
Don't care what people think of you, it's none of your business!
True
14:40 - every one of your videos benefits someone I’m sure, I find them very useful. Look forward to your uploads. As a 23 year old, you ARE helping a younger person. Cheers mate
That's really awesome to hear, thanks and glad they're helping.
thats when you know you won ... stalking me for 3 years, recording and collecting every bad thing i ever did in my life, and yes, it worked. props to you
Great video, really resonated with me. Thanks.
You're welcome, glad it helped.
Thanks Jay….!
This was just the “kick in the pants” I needed to develop a tougher skin. My experience in my younger years was similar to yours in that, I grew up with hyper critical parents. Similarly, I spent my early adult years avoiding criticism by striving for perfection. Needless to say, by my late thirties, I was completely burned out. Nowadays, I’m living for me unapologetically, and slowly, I’m learning to not have so much anxiety over someone else’s dissatisfaction ~
Thanks Again!
Keep Growing 🎈
Awesome, so glad to hear it helped.
There was a book I found really useful in the beginning of my journey - "no more mr nice guy" - seems like you're a bit further along that I was but you might find some wisdom in it.
Thanks for sharing.
You responded to that video, youve Given the guy a Boost 💯
He also gave this channel a boost too!
Thank you I've been looking for this advice my whole life
You're welcome, hope it helped.
@JayWallace everything helps and thank you for helping others as well
Nice one mate, I had that similar worry of criticism when I started uploading on my channel as I thought people would think I was sad and weird since it was just about roads and driving. Turns out I was completely wrong which that has really helped and made me see the criticism in a more positive way.
As for subscribers and views I’ve never been too fussed about either (although I have smiled whenever I’ve hit landmarks) as this channel has always been more of a hobby for me as it involves me doing something I love and something which fascinates me.
I think you've got exactly the right attitude, do it because you love it and everything else is a bonus.
Really hard not to get sucked into the metrics but I'm trying.
Really admire your consistency as well, I know you've been following the channel for a while now and you've been uploading that whole time, kudos.
The impact of someone not liking you, or you disappointing them in some way, is typically much worse in your head than reality. Or so I’ve been learning!
And I’d not heard about the connection between not liking groups of people and trying to control their opinion of you. I figured that just made me an introvert. Maybe this is something for me to ponder!
This was a great video my friend I really enjoyed the talk. Subscribed
Hey Robert! Glad you found the channel and enjoyed the content, thanks for checking it out
Just remember there are like 8 billion people on the planet - people who hurt you aren't very significant
Yeah, perspective is everything, thank you.
@@JayWallace it's how I handle the feelings of "everyone hates me/thinks I'm stupid/etc" - because really, *8 billion people* are not concerned with me.
@@relaxandunwind564 How i handle the feelings of everyone hates me like you desribed, is by recognizing that those are thoughts I am having, what other people think of you is outside of your control completley, everyone sees you differently. You can not predict the perspectives of others, only change how you feel about your view of yourself.
most of our problem is that we don't want our image to get hurt so we put on this personas where genuine connections is no longer reachable..It's none of our fault. the system is to blame because it is not being taught or exercise enough for open communication and understanding. we all have our own agendas I suppose and it's taking away human to human intelligent dialogue and understanding.
for some people, seeing a person who is fully comfortable in their own skin, fully as themselves and being 'their own person', is threatening, since they guide their own selves according to external expectation firstly and only.
They expect others therefore, to be equally under the weight of external expectation, and when they see a person who seems totally free of it, it comes across as 'breaking' the rule/expectation, and therefore deserving of condemnation, in whatever way such can be mustered, whatever lengths and obfuscations it takes in order to bring shame to this rule-breaker, in order to bring him/her back in line again the way he is always keeping himself in line.
These people are sad.
Edit: relevance.. but I'll still leave this here
Very insightful, thanks for sharing. Had never really considered that people might find another person lifestyle threatening but it makes sense.
If there's someone doing something the opposite way to what you were taught and they're happy, then you have to either reject that notion or accept that you're doing something wrong.
For those lacking confidence remember that hurt people, hurt people. Nobody putting you down is worth your time and are just as in need of help (or more) as the people they destructively criticize. We all have to examine ourselves alot closer and the world will be happier for it💚
I literally told this to my little nephew last night. I wish someone has told me that when I was his age.
@JayWallace we can now be those people we wish we had growing up. Respect.
I don't get the fixation on becoming popular on UA-cam and focusing on subscriber count. It's been well-documented that celebrities hate the fame that they acquired through the things do/passions they have, so you only start to regret the desire to want to be popular once you're up there.
Like you said, building and fostering a close-knit community is a healthier, realistic expectation and goal for your UA-cam channel. We're all (still) here, cuz we're on this "rollercoaster of ups and downs" called LIFE together.
By the way, I'm super glad you took that video and "criticism" in stride. Good on you, Jay :)
Thanks, I've got no desire to be famous but it is hard not to get caught up in the metrics game. After all, I would like to do this full-time and so people seeing and engaging with the content is important, to an extent.
However, I'm learning there are better ways to do things that align with my values.
Thanks for the comment
There's no such thing as bad publicity
He gave you free marketing. Love it.
it gets funny when critisism doesn't work and they start sabotaging and stealing what your working on or stealing something else to distract you... well, if its going to waste my time, may as well call the cops :)
I’m at a place in life where I don’t hold on to criticism OR praise. You like what I did? Awesome. Wait till you see what I do next! You despise what I did? Oh… alright. Wait till you see what I do next! 🤷
I have high enough standards for my own self that what anyone else says truly does roll off like sweat. You have to remember to put out what YOU like. You don’t have to accept anything you didn’t ask for, including opinions.
Yeah I think you make a really good point. You can't hold on to one end of a stick without picking up the other.
So, am I allowed to like people who aren't attention seeking, obnoxious, and condescending...? That would be so great!
Thank you, that's exactly what I'm aiming for
Dear, just do not care about critism and people. Only accept good people. Need to have only positive energy nowadays to survive in this sick world. You are worth. Nothing wrong to express yourself, is a good thing. Remember stay positive and try do things that you love. Take care ❤
Thank you for the kind words :)
Welcome dear❤
Bro looks like Ryan gosling 😂
Damn, bro.. you're literally me. 😂 Started learning English some 15 years ago, because didn't have friends.
❤
Please do not take this the wrong way, but you are a dead ringer for Ryan Gosling
Not sure how I could take that the wrong way!
I was just about to add this to my comment! A dead ringer for Mr Gosling- could be a double (another possible line of work?).
@@HunkumSpunkum Oh stop it you!
I feel that the youtubers that make videos of other peoples content do not have a creative bone in their body. Be proud you are being you on here and sharing your life with the world. That guy is a piggybacker lol. He uses genuine video creations to rag on them and make his uncreative videos lol.
btw I am a closet DL guy lol. You are cute. You should play for my team. lol
I appreciate the support. Have no bad feelings toward the guy and it's been amazing to see how many people have had my back with it all.
Truly flattered but very hetero I'm afraid
Legion of Men is strictly an "alpha male", semi-redpill channel. He comes from a certain angle at all times, most of it being about masculinity, traditionalism, viewing the number of women you've been with as a yardstick of sorts. It's like being a bit like a discount Andrew Tate. I suggest not taking the advice or criticism of such people too seriously, if at all.
Thanks, I respect everyone's right to an opinion, even the ones that don't agree with mine! There's been a lot of guys from that channel that came over here appreciating that there might be a different way to do things except flogging themselves, so I can only be grateful for that.
When did Ryan Gosling open a UA-cam channel
Well, I found your videos made me feel less isolated and crazy in what is an otherwise insane world.
That guys video was just looking for an easy way to get a video with views. He added nothing of value to the conversation, so more of a waste of time then anything
Thanks for the support, appreciate you sharing your perspective
Good video. Spot on. Too many ill-placed opinions out there . . .
Thank you, just trying to tell it from my perspective
People suck.
People "can suck.
Haha my first impression was, this is one of those recovering alcoholic bloggers
you look like ryan gosling a little bit here lol
Oh, stop it!
Jay, I understand.
But, the alternative not to face opposition is paying for adds. But it's not free.
The same for the teacher in front of you AT school for just poor wage.
It's up to you.
When I write it, I'm speaking to me first.
Take care.
Te amo Jay, cásate conmigo.
Critisism is a form of bullying. Most people who critizise don't use it as a form to improve you which it should be but to push you down because they feel terrible about themselves. So I would say if it is good critic you probably won't even notice because they won't point out flaws but say more like that if you did it like this instead you get better result. If you get critic but no advice of improvement then it can just be that they feel terrible inside and they feel better pushing it on you. It's not easy to not get triggered but try, they are not worth to win to make you sad though stay true to your feelings if you need to process things you need to let it happen too. I don't really agree it is good to get a lot of critisism, it can to become insecure, afraid of humans so I would say try to find people who appreciate and love you even with your imperfections.
I like legions channel but he’s all about being an alpha chad and lifting every day, and if you don’t you’re failing as a man .
Have nothing against this red-pill stuff at all but just feel that approach to self-improvement is damaging and focused on the ego. It'll always be about trying to be better and comparisons.
@ Absolutely
dude you look like ryan gosling
Bo from Tribe of Men thinks he's a know it all, I used to be subscribed to his channel and liked his content, but the more I watched the more I got repulsed by his way of viewing and criticizing things.
A mental health professional wants to use your life as a “cautionary tale”? Oh boy.
Why people don't like Me and U don't know me so funny start.Who cares who likes me they will hate Me b4 I leave.
i dont care