The version we heard as kids, growing up in Perth, Western Australia was: Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Perth Town Hall His mother, the dirty bugger Cut it off when he was small
Xander coming up with modern electronic and disco ditties on a harpsichord in the Victorian era were great sketches too. The bouncing energy building up in his character as he cracks in to the energy of "I'm Horny" by Mousse.T is hilarious.
@@krashd a bit late for a reply but the bit where he performs 'Gay Bar' before being knocked out by the woman with the drinks tray is one of my favourite scenes.
Lol. Grew up in the 70's, post war UK. This song (or near enough) was our playground anthem. "Hitler, Has only got one ball, the other, he left in the Albert Hall....." I cant remember the rest. It was 40 years ago.
If it ever comes up in a pub quiz: the tune is from a march called Colonel Bogey written by Kenneth J Alford of The Royal Marines. His pen name was Major Ricketts and the tune was also played and whistled in the film 'bridge over the river Kwai'
Indeed. That was the tune of Daisy Bell (Bicycle Built for Two). He should've said "Testes, Testes, the Fuhrer has only one And the best is, poor old Goebbels has none And what about Goring and Himmler? Their problems are both similar They have two balls, but they’re so small They look like they’re almost gone"
I have watched as much Armstrong and Miller as I could find, but I never saw this sketch. It literally had me laughing out loud, alone in the middle of the night. For those of us in the US, this team is one we really missed out on.
The only thing that the Monty python team ever All agreed on was that it would never work in the USA, they were all very very wrong. Armstrong and Millar, this sketch in particular, has that same daft old British Upper class being sent up by what appears to be the British Upper class, an accent easy to understand by Americans too and as with all the best British humour it takes the *#"* out of itself, nothing is sacred. British humour swears allegiance to nothing but humour, with a straight face too of course. Well,. It did!
@@rdhunkins I found Mitchell & Webb from here, though, plainly they haven't achieved much fame in the US. They did get on TV for a while, though. I had to go down a rabbit hole to find Armstrong & Miller. I think they did a sketch for Amnesty with Mitchell & Webb and that made me look into them. And anyway, at least Mitchell and Webb have that meme about the European Soldiers.
While a POW in Poland my late Dad said they used to sing this. An English speaking guard asked them why they kept singing about Hitler and the other top Nazis. The POW's explained it's meaning. He laughed in a very hushed manner saying no no. You will get into trouble. You must stop.
binaway - Mate, it seems to me that your Dad was a bloody hero, and don't ever let anyone tell you any different. To sing that song in that situation; that took serious guts. If you don't mind me asking, which branch of the allied armed forces was he in? Just so you know, my paternal Grandpa was in the RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force), as a Leading Aircraftman, who worked on Avro Lancasters and Short Sunderlands (British bomber aircraft). Basically, he was in charge of keeping the Lancasters and Sunderlands in working condition and to repair them after a mission. He died 4 years before I was born, but I've talked to my Dad and my Gran about him, as well as found his service records online, so I am, at least partially, familiar with him.
This sketch is absolute genius. I knew the song because many of my relatives, who had either fought in WWII or had experienced the Blitz, told me about it and even sang it. To have an entire sketch about it is inspired…and I actually choked on my tea when the car horn sounded😂.
They were originally going to sing this at the beginning of Bridge on the River Kwai, but British censors at the time wouldn't allow it, so that's why in the movie they whistle the melody instead.
"You know Hitler's balls?" - Yea? "You know how many he's always had and that?" - Like, two balls or some shit like that? "Yea well he's only got one ball now" - Random
Prince Ludwig : Yes! I was one of his sheep! Lord Melchett : His sheep? Not... Prince Ludwig : Yes! Lord Melchett : Flossy? Prince Ludwig : Yes! Lord Melchett : But didn't we...
for the Trainspotters out there ; the sketch kind of falls flat at 2:55 when the 1980s "125 high speed train" horn does the opening notes of the tune Colonel Bogey
This sketch is hilarious, even more so when you realize that the song is a real one. I should also note that I also found the dissonance between Armstrong’s speaking and singing voices (it’s somewhat harder to tell from his singing voice and speaking voice that it is the same person).
Very good. Alexander is a very talented musician. It reminds me of a funny story about English chutzpah or foolishness, take your pick. In the summer of 1940, George Orwell burst into a pub in London, possibly The George on Mortimer Street, and shouted ‘The German Army’s crossed the Rhine! Somebody said ‘Parlez Vous’, and they all carried on quietly supping their pints.
To address some confusion in the comments, the melody to this song predates the version which sings about Hitler. It's called the "Colonel Bogey March", for anyone who's interested, and was composed in 1914 by Lieutenant F. J. Ricketts of the British Army.
@Shanti part of the humour with the horn is that it's an anachronism. The sketch is meant to be set in WW2 but he hears a modern train horn. WW2 trains in the UK would have used whistles instead of horns.
@@zarabada6125 - Thank you for explaining it to us mere mortals. We, being thick as shit, were completely ignorant, re' the humour. Luckily someone, with the wisdom of the gods, was on hand to explain the deep profundity beneath the surface. Once again, thank you!
@harpoon66 Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" refers to the many variations on a set of lyrics to the popular "Colonel Bogey March". These are four-line lyrics making fun of the Nazi leaders the train horn was two notes in the song which the voice on the two notes is Bol - locks! or Bollocks which is slang for balls
Out of nowhere this pops into my feed, the week after we were trying to teach the kids at school the importance of (and the words to) Colonel Bogey. Must remember to use it when we return in September.
@harpoon66 There was wartime song called Hitler Has Only Got One Ball - its sung to the tune of Colonel Bogey (the tune they whistle in the film The Bridge on The River Kwai). Its a song you first hear as a teenager at school then you grow up with it. Not sure if its would really be funny to anyone not familiar with Britain.
+Tim Downey. Glad you liked it. EVERYONE in Britain knows this song, even those born decades after the war, that's why there are those random bursts of laughter as the audience realizes where the sketch is going.
@sstelmaschuk YES. The Testes, Testes bit was the tune of Daisy Belle (Bicycle Built for Two). He gave up on that too early! He could have said: "Testes, Testes, the Fuhrer has only one And the best is, poor old Goebbels has none And what about Goring and Himmler? Their problems are both similar They have two balls, but they’re so small They look like they’re almost gone"
@@athull08 I said it "looks" like they have one at all, not that they had none at all. They were so small one could hardy see them. "They look like they’re almost gone" How does "gone" rhyme with one or none? "All" rhymes with "small". "Gone" rhymes with none of the above especially not small or one or none. One and none rhyme, Himmler and similar Rhyme but small and gone? Nah.. small and all yes...
Quite literaly. It all depended on two things: 1)British having balls and fighting. 2) Hitler having second thoughts several times during the war. This including Hitler not invading England. In the end invasion wouldn't have been even possible as things went but this was mostly because Hitler couldn't even dream of invading England and expected them just to give up and therefore didn't plan for it. Had Germans planed for it before starting the war and gone for it immediately after Dunkirk or capitulation of the France then it propably would have been successfull.
Amusing though this is I can't help but notice a decided similarity to 'Mozart, Man of Music' from Harry Enfield's Norbert Smith - A Life, which predates this sketch by some years..
Very good.. I think it would have been funnier if they'd not read out the 'secret' near the start... and left it to the very end to reveal.... but that's probably analysing all the fun out of it; and maybe too traditional a format for A&M... still very good!
There's a bridge named after this. The bridge crosses the river Kwai, but the bridge itself is more correctly referred to as the... "Kawaii Bridge". So adorable!
Johnson has only got one ball Cameron had two but very small Farage kept his in the garage and poor old Leadsom has no balls at all ( That´s to be expected )
Very authentic late 1960s diesel locomotive horn there.
Let's not let facts get in the way of a good joke!
I noticed that as well.
Needs a retcon, he travelled into the future to find inspiration, easy as marvel
Possibly the worst 'Eurovision Song Contest ' rejection ever.
Without doubt the funniest sketch I have seen in my 60 years. The seriousness of it it absolutely spot on.
The version we heard as kids, growing up in Perth, Western Australia was:
Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Perth Town Hall
His mother, the dirty bugger
Cut it off when he was small
I'm the UK or was on the Albert Hall
it rolled into the deep blue sea
picked up a bit of fresh seaweed
the fishes
got out their dishes
and had scollops and bollocks for tea
I honestly thought the scene where Armstrong is trying to write the song is one of the best in this show's history
Xander coming up with modern electronic and disco ditties on a harpsichord in the Victorian era were great sketches too. The bouncing energy building up in his character as he cracks in to the energy of "I'm Horny" by Mousse.T is hilarious.
@@krashd 'no?... Ok...'
@@krashd a bit late for a reply but the bit where he performs 'Gay Bar' before being knocked out by the woman with the drinks tray is one of my favourite scenes.
"Testes, testes, the Fuhrer has only one" 😂
If this scene represent the best then the show must have been dreadful in its entirety.
Lol. Grew up in the 70's, post war UK. This song (or near enough) was our playground anthem. "Hitler, Has only got one ball, the other, he left in the Albert Hall....." I cant remember the rest. It was 40 years ago.
If it ever comes up in a pub quiz: the tune is from a march called Colonel Bogey written by Kenneth J Alford of The Royal Marines. His pen name was Major Ricketts and the tune was also played and whistled in the film 'bridge over the river Kwai'
I did not know that.
I honestly think that the song where he goes: "Testies, testies, the furher has only one..." would have been much much better than the original.
Indeed. That was the tune of Daisy Bell (Bicycle Built for Two). He should've said "Testes, Testes, the Fuhrer has only one
And the best is, poor old Goebbels has none
And what about Goring and Himmler?
Their problems are both similar
They have two balls, but they’re so small
They look like they’re almost gone"
+athull08 your song gets stuck in my head most days. it's unbelievably brilliant. just fyi.
holy fuck that's incredible
He's only like, got one ball and shit? Like, only one ball?
Random.
Jessica Leigh harsh!
Its true though
Isn't it though.
Standard.
@@ianjones3568 isn't it
The cut to the Nazi's at the end was a perfect final touch.
*Nazis. Apostrophes play no part in plurals and you were never taught that they do so why do it?
I can't believe they're still making Academy bait movies like this.
I have watched as much Armstrong and Miller as I could find, but I never saw this sketch. It literally had me laughing out loud, alone in the middle of the night. For those of us in the US, this team is one we really missed out on.
The only thing that the Monty python team ever All agreed on was that it would never work in the USA, they were all very very wrong.
Armstrong and Millar, this sketch in particular, has that same daft old British Upper class being sent up by what appears to be the British Upper class, an accent easy to understand by Americans too and as with all the best British humour it takes the *#"* out of itself, nothing is sacred.
British humour swears allegiance to nothing but humour, with a straight face too of course. Well,. It did!
What I meant to say was ' I agree '.
Mitchell and Webb are another duo we've been deprived of here in the States.
@@rdhunkins I found Mitchell & Webb from here, though, plainly they haven't achieved much fame in the US. They did get on TV for a while, though. I had to go down a rabbit hole to find Armstrong & Miller. I think they did a sketch for Amnesty with Mitchell & Webb and that made me look into them.
And anyway, at least Mitchell and Webb have that meme about the European Soldiers.
Comet, it makes your mouth so clean...
Comet, it tastes like gasoline.....
Comet, it makes you vomit,
So get some comet and vomit ,todaaaaay!
While a POW in Poland my late Dad said they used to sing this. An English speaking guard asked them why they kept singing about Hitler and the other top Nazis. The POW's explained it's meaning. He laughed in a very hushed manner saying no no. You will get into trouble. You must stop.
That guard seemed like a nice guy, proof that not every German was a Nazi. I hope he survived the war.
binaway
Für Zat - you fill be schot....
binaway - Mate, it seems to me that your Dad was a bloody hero, and don't ever let anyone tell you any different. To sing that song in that situation; that took serious guts. If you don't mind me asking, which branch of the allied armed forces was he in? Just so you know, my paternal Grandpa was in the RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force), as a Leading Aircraftman, who worked on Avro Lancasters and Short Sunderlands (British bomber aircraft). Basically, he was in charge of keeping the Lancasters and Sunderlands in working condition and to repair them after a mission. He died 4 years before I was born, but I've talked to my Dad and my Gran about him, as well as found his service records online, so I am, at least partially, familiar with him.
Nice fairy story got any more.
It is utter bol-locks but half wits love it.
The horn sounding had me gasping for air.
This sketch is absolute genius. I knew the song because many of my relatives, who had either fought in WWII or had experienced the Blitz, told me about it and even sang it. To have an entire sketch about it is inspired…and I actually choked on my tea when the car horn sounded😂.
It's a train horn.
@@BiblicalMumblings Thanks.
@@BiblicalMumblings From one of those diesel trains that British Railways introduced ca. 1955!!
total and utter genius, I've known the song all my life and this totally cracked me up.
Don't worry about that :-0 @@markiliff
They were originally going to sing this at the beginning of Bridge on the River Kwai, but British censors at the time wouldn't allow it, so that's why in the movie they whistle the melody instead.
I personally love the orchestration that surrounds the main melody with that one.
"You know Hitler's balls?"
- Yea?
"You know how many he's always had and that?"
- Like, two balls or some shit like that?
"Yea well he's only got one ball now"
- Random
Isn’t it?
@@erikarneberg11 Isn't it though?!
@@PDFulwood You know what i mean?
I know what you mean. I'm not some sort of remtard or something.
Harsh.
First time I saw this I absolutely lost my shit at "Testes, testes, the Fürher has only one!"
If I may point out: the tune, "Colonel Bogey March", was inspired by the composer's overhearing of a retired colonel's call on a golf course.
If I may point out it was a diesel engines horn,which were not around in the 40's..
Ha ha, you said bogie. Unreal shame..
@@TheShanampan didn't stop its rejection from the European Song Contest
Makes you wonder what the spy went through to get that information
_"Many bottoms died to bring us that information."_
@@AsDeadAsDillinger bothans
Prince Ludwig : Yes! I was one of his sheep!
Lord Melchett : His sheep? Not...
Prince Ludwig : Yes!
Lord Melchett : Flossy?
Prince Ludwig : Yes!
Lord Melchett : But didn't we...
for the Trainspotters out there ; the sketch kind of falls flat at 2:55 when the 1980s "125 high speed train" horn does the opening notes of the tune Colonel Bogey
Oh no!!!
Anyway...
This sketch is hilarious, even more so when you realize that the song is a real one. I should also note that I also found the dissonance between Armstrong’s speaking and singing voices (it’s somewhat harder to tell from his singing voice and speaking voice that it is the same person).
"Realise"? There isn't a British schoolkid who doesn't still know this song, even over 80 years later!
So clever n bloody hilarious got to be one of the best sketches of all time
this has to be one of the best sketches ever
i live not far from a train line , I'm singing this 20 times a day
This is actually comedy genius.
Especially as it's played so deadpan.
Gentlemen, I think we've just one ourselves the war.
It is.
it's fairly derivative of the Monty's Funniest joke in the world though
I've come from the future to tell you you're still right.
This song, Der Fuhrers Face, and of course The Killer Joke brought Hitler and his vermon to their end.
Very good. Alexander is a very talented musician. It reminds me of a funny story about English chutzpah or foolishness, take your pick. In the summer of 1940, George Orwell burst into a pub in London, possibly The George on Mortimer Street, and shouted ‘The German Army’s crossed the Rhine! Somebody said ‘Parlez Vous’, and they all carried on quietly supping their pints.
To address some confusion in the comments, the melody to this song predates the version which sings about Hitler. It's called the "Colonel Bogey March", for anyone who's interested, and was composed in 1914 by Lieutenant F. J. Ricketts of the British Army.
It's also used as the main theme tune to the movie "Bridge on the River Kwai."
thanks
It was most memorably performed at one of Hitler's balls though.
Vielen Danke
Do you have any friends ?
Get me my old piano.
I wanted to hear the full song about Goering's prick.
That came out wrong didn't it.
Gold. Just think what ‘allo ‘allo could have done with the same idea.😅
This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time; however, I showed it to my friends and they didn't even crack a smile
Nine years on... did you ditch them and get new friends who understand great humour?
Were they German?
They ain't friends they 'comedically challenged '
3:33 that line was delivered masterfully!
Yeah, by one of the guys who starred in Horrible Histories.
Never before has a single minor third interval been employed to such comedic effect
we sang this as kids. This sketch made me laugh out loud. One of the best.
My mother grew up during the war and she and the other kids sang: ''Goebbels had two like gerbils.'' so you know, all kinds of fun rhymes there!!
2:48-2:54 That kick was so powerful it caused the candle to ignite!
The diesel train .... genius 🤣
But, during WW2?!
@@TheCatBilbo I think it’s called ‘poetic licence’ .....
Haven’t laughed this hard ad long till my sides hurt in a long long time...especially when the car horn beeped
Train.
@@Grizzly01 And a *very* Post-war train to boot 🙂
One of the best sketches ever, real funny, alway wondered where this song came from...
Isn't the other one in the Albert Hall? LoL. Love it when the horn inspires the tune :)
There are multiple versions yes.
+Rob Fraser Kids still sing about the grand old Duke of York, and none of them know why.
@Shanti part of the humour with the horn is that it's an anachronism. The sketch is meant to be set in WW2 but he hears a modern train horn. WW2 trains in the UK would have used whistles instead of horns.
@@zarabada6125 - Thank you for explaining it to us mere mortals. We, being thick as shit, were completely ignorant, re' the humour. Luckily someone, with the wisdom of the gods, was on hand to explain the deep profundity beneath the surface. Once again, thank you!
This is incredible funny😛, excellent! The first time that I hear about Armstrong and Miiller, genius!
Absolutely brilliant comedy genius.
This song and the funniest joke ever written won the war.
@TheMotherOfChrist which background music?
If you mean the tune of Hitler Has Only Got One Ball, that's a military march called Colonel Bogey.
@harpoon66 Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" refers to the many variations on a set of lyrics to the popular "Colonel Bogey March". These are four-line lyrics making fun of the Nazi leaders the train horn was two notes in the song which the voice on the two notes is Bol - locks! or Bollocks which is slang for balls
Out of nowhere this pops into my feed, the week after we were trying to teach the kids at school the importance of (and the words to) Colonel Bogey. Must remember to use it when we return in September.
This is one of my favourite shows. Very funny.
One of their best! How do they come up with this stuff?
You know, that song must have been a thorn in the side of the Nazis ha ha, it certainly kept the spirits up , clever buggers {as always}
@harpoon66 There was wartime song called Hitler Has Only Got One Ball - its sung to the tune of Colonel Bogey (the tune they whistle in the film The Bridge on The River Kwai). Its a song you first hear as a teenager at school then you grow up with it. Not sure if its would really be funny to anyone not familiar with Britain.
We used to sing this song on the school bus back in the 1960s. The driver and conductor didnt just encourage us, they taught us the damn song.
Yes, it is funny to one not familiar with Britain. Me. I’ve been humming it and laughing for, now, 46 hours. ;>)
+Tim Downey. Glad you liked it. EVERYONE in Britain knows this song, even those born decades after the war, that's why there are those random bursts of laughter as the audience realizes where the sketch is going.
The song was sung by Ulrich Tukur and Steve Buscemi in the international blockbuster “John Rabe.”
Brilliant sketch capturing all sorts of funny memes or is it tropes
Anyone else notice that German soldier at the end is angelos epithemiou!
@alexstewartmovies the train's horn was the first 2 notes of Colonel Bogey, which reminded him of the tune.
@sstelmaschuk YES. The Testes, Testes bit was the tune of Daisy Belle (Bicycle Built for Two).
He gave up on that too early! He could have said:
"Testes, Testes, the Fuhrer has only one
And the best is, poor old Goebbels has none
And what about Goring and Himmler?
Their problems are both similar
They have two balls, but they’re so small
They look like they’re almost gone"
Change the last line to "They look like they're from a doll"
@@richardvillafana7743 Doesn't rhyme. And dolls are female.
Last line..They look like they have none at all.
@@gerryatrick Does not rhyme. Has to rhyme with one and none. Also, Goebbels is the one with none at all.
@@athull08 I said it "looks" like they have one at all, not that they had none at all. They were so small one could hardy see them.
"They look like they’re almost gone" How does "gone" rhyme with one or none?
"All" rhymes with "small". "Gone" rhymes with none of the above especially not small or one or none.
One and none rhyme, Himmler and similar Rhyme but small and gone? Nah.. small and all yes...
2:06 is just too fucking hilarious, i burst out in high pitch laughter in the middle of the night and i'm a dude XD
Hahaha that fucking train gets me everytime.
Yes, and about 20 years too early. Lol
Given the horn and the sound of it moving, it was almost certainly a car.
I've only got to hear that fucking two-tone train whistle and I'm gone. Inspired stuff!
Dudley Moore used the same tune to parody Beethoven
@MCTheo3 That'd be the one, cheers. They also have some of the "Fast and Loose" improv comedians in the show as well, I've noticed.
I foresee an Ivor Novello in the offing...
The best sketch these two have ever done.
Pardon the pun but that's bollocks
@@tonydoherty2190 Really two??
Churchill... hast einen massivkok
@LuRawen you can get it as a ringtone, it's a very famous tune
This is hilarious. Also I find the dissonance between Armstrong’s speaking and singing voice to always get to me here.
Brilliant! And I loved brabbins & fyfe 😂
looool! i’m crying from laughing so hard! and can barely type!
Best Pairing In British Comedy. :D
This was a ditty we knew and sang back in the 60's in the playground.
And that's how they won the war XD
Yep. It was touch and go for a while.
Quite literaly. It all depended on two things: 1)British having balls and fighting. 2) Hitler having second thoughts several times during the war. This including Hitler not invading England. In the end invasion wouldn't have been even possible as things went but this was mostly because Hitler couldn't even dream of invading England and expected them just to give up and therefore didn't plan for it. Had Germans planed for it before starting the war and gone for it immediately after Dunkirk or capitulation of the France then it propably would have been successfull.
Amusing though this is I can't help but notice a decided similarity to 'Mozart, Man of Music' from Harry Enfield's Norbert Smith - A Life, which predates this sketch by some years..
Actually Monty Pythons most deadly joke sketch was before the lot and pretty much set the tone, very good A&M sketch though
@@richardclarke3924 On the shoulders of giants?
I couldn’t know how much cheap things for it
Very good.. I think it would have been funnier if they'd not read out the 'secret' near the start... and left it to the very end to reveal.... but that's probably analysing all the fun out of it; and maybe too traditional a format for A&M... still very good!
Yes, that's what I think; but then it would be too subtle for the Americans in the audience.
They might wade in after about three years?
Oh, Johnny Cleese over here, the great sketch writer ….
@SadSadDoomDay you can. The tune, at least. It's a very famous tune.
They also serve who only sit and compose bawdy songs.
Or as Derek & Clive might say, "Hitler gets the horn".
@TJPricey4eva It's called 'On Dangerous Ground' by Ian Hughes
I was wondering the same thing, used Shazam to find out.
@alexstewartmovies its the first two notes of the song he writes
There's a bridge named after this. The bridge crosses the river Kwai, but the bridge itself is more correctly referred to as the... "Kawaii Bridge". So adorable!
The Nazis didn't stand a chance after that.
What is the name of this film?
The clue is in the title...
Funniest of all. As kids we sang it.
Butch 78 me too!
Only one tiny, but important, observation...the descending two tone Dee Dah should be an ascending Dah deeh. But nevertheless, a brilliant sketch.
Josephine Bennington My local trains give a descending horn. I guess they must go both ways.
A classic. 😂😂😂
I miss their shows.
Johnson has only got one ball
Cameron had two but very small
Farage kept his in the garage
and poor old Leadsom has no balls at all ( That´s to be expected )
ha ha ha! i just love this vid as well.
Wouldn't farage be the one with one ball?
The car horn was amazing lol
TRAIN
@@teclo1057 I guess being a classic British Rail diesel horn tone, it's lost on those outside the UK.
@@TheVickersDoorter Wouldn't it have been a steam whistle during the war?
3:10 the start of the song
I love the song.
Such a random little song! XD Would be good for a ringtone... :D
Probably their finest sketch
this is a true story
Hang on, are we the baddies.
2:55….😂😂😂😂😂😂
2:07 he forgot to put the bins out.
whats the background music called?
Does anyone else prefer the Testes, Testes song over the final product?
when the train went by