👉👉JOIN MY PRIVATE WELLNESS COMMUNITY HERE: www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors 👈👈 ➡️ Contact me directly ➡️ Join LIVE support groups ➡️ Access exclusive content ➡️ Support a good cause ❤ -Rob
I am bipolar 1, my husband has no mental illness and we have been married for 34 years. Yes, he has saved my life several times and I have done terrible things to him. We had four beautiful children, yes I did the self medicating thing, but at the core was love...his love he loved so much that he always held onto me and pull me back from the edge of the abyss.
Renee, thos is encouraging. I'm in a situationship with someone who has BPD, and I have an anxiety disorder. We're both mental health care users, currently on treatment. I haven't seen him in a hypomanic/manic state, however I think he has trust issues as his previous partner left after he got hospitalised (according to him). I really love him. I also think I am ready for a relationship with someone with BPD. I have seen how some symptoms can present, I'm a medical practitioner....but I can't say I know what to expect from some I love. With God and this channel and people with stories like yours give me hope, even though I know it won't be a walk in the park.
@@ncisept5900 not trying to be the grammar police by any means, but usually "BPD" is used when describing borderline personality disorder. I only say this because I would hate for you to get advice or research something that although has some behavior similar to BP, requires much different treatment.
Married 13 years and 4 kids with my BP wife. I’ve swam thru the depths of hell to save my wife. Finally understand and see everything before it happens! I’ve finally gathered the courage to set boundaries. Structure and routine as well as LOTS OF LOVE! The harder she pushes the more I love. She in return agrees to take her meds regularly as well as stay away from social media. And whenever she needs to get out of the house she has a chaperone! The symptoms are easy to spot now. Driving fast, pacing the house, losing sleep, agitation. Extra pep in her step! When these are spotted that’s when it’s time to watch her like a hawk.
@@discoisnotdead There's not much you can do. If they refuse to see there's a problem? Than the best thing to do is set them free! I know it hurts so much! It feels like half my heart is gone now. Only thing that keeps me going? Are the children. It's so sad thinking and remembering the good times. It's not how I envisioned my future with her. I was used abused and thrown away! There's nothing I can say that will change your situation. Just comfort, that you are NOT ALONE! There's many of us with shattered heart's and broken dreams. I wish we could comfort one another in person and let out our emotions. But this is as close as we will ever get!
Ps- I would really love to see your wife do a video and talk about what she’s learned and what she feels like are the best ways to cope and stay healthy as a partner to you.
@@Startupsandsushi yea I agree. It may be me one day. I’ve been looking for a channel on the wives tools and coping skills and there isn’t one I can find. It’s so hard to have a spouse who is bipolar.
@@bodybygia While I can absolutely understand where you’re coming from, please do not mention such things on the comments of this channel. So many people with Bipolar watch these videos. There’s always the possibility of someone in a negative mindset reading your comment.
I am 2 months in a relationship with someone who is bipolar. To be honest it's not ideal for me I was married to someone who was bipolar in the past and they refuse to get any kind of help on medication. I never wanted to go through that again. But here I am found my night and shining armor but every day decisions are changed multiple times vacations are spoke of and canceled. I can't depend on stability or consistency. The emotional roller coaster is a lot for me She knows she needs the meds but she doesn't want to take him and she doesn't want me to ask She doesn't want me to pressure. So me inquiring about meds and therapy just pushes her further from it So how am I supposed to be in the chaos with no recourse. It would be so much better if she was awful partner but she's one of the best people I've ever been with it And that's hard to lose.
This video described what I’m feeling so spot on. I hope my partner seeks help and I hope I can set those boundaries to take care of my own mental health
I am right there brother. It has been rough but she is my wife. The caregiving aspect is harder then anything I have ever dealt with. Keep your head up.
On the side of the bipolar wife we thank u...sometimes we need a reminder that we're off the deep end n need to come back..tbh idk how u do it😔 I cant even stand myself sometimes idk how tf could my bf..he must be running out of steam..I hope this vid was the snap I needed to get my sgit together
Been down this road with a women I fell in love with. It was hard. Watching her be unfaithful with other men was a killer. She was a intelligent girl and took no medication. Her whole family denied her being ill. I would suggest a post from the partners perspective. In my case my partner was bipolar II. She had a trusted 3 friends who guided her through the relationship poorly. As the partner I new little of this until it was too late. Ends up 5 in the relationship is too hard. Love sometimes is not enough to make a relationship work. It takes those trusted 3 to be on board with both halves to offer the necessary support. Likely run next time I encounter the red flags in a girl like this. Hearts bleed for a long time. Let’s not go there again.
@@peterCalabria3 I have mixed feelings about this statement what comment should I say I do believe that's a market to make money for pharmaceutical companies all of these various diseases but I've lived with a woman my wife for 15 years with this disorder it is real whatever it is that's all I have to say
"My wife had really invested alot of herself into me over the years so, my way of investing in her was the committment to keep myself well as best as I possibly could"
Thank you so much for making this. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when my husband and I were first dating. The day I got diagnosed, my family called him over for dinner and explained everything to him, saying that Bipolar Disorder was very common in my family. We also gave him a list of symptoms to watch for, saying to tell myself and my parents if I was symptomatic. We then signed a contract, saying that I gave all of them permission to tell me if I was symptomatic, and vis versa. *Edit: We must have done something right because we are coming up on our one year anniversary of marriage!
My wife just sent me this video after a manic episode. I truly needed to hear this. In my manic episodes I can be very mean and hateful and I tend to take for granted the effort that my wife puts in for helping me. For some reason, my PolarHead sees her as an enemy. I just wanted to thank you for getting this video out to people like me and my family. We are going to try some of the principles that you have applied to your marriage. Thank you x's a million and keep producing quality content! Cheers from Atlanta!
If you dont mind me asking, does she have bipolar disorder? I'm the one who has it in my relationship and thinking about sending this to my boyfriend so he can somewhat understand better.
I not only lost the love of my life before I was diagnosed, but I also lost my relationship with my daughter and consequently my granddaughter. I'll never get my husband back, but I hope the relationship with my daughter may someday be healed. Thanks for being here.
My wife is Bipolar type1 I’ve found myself getting lost recently and I’m still shaken from it. She’s had lymphoma for 4 yrs and has had bipolar for yrs(just recently diagnosed). My mental state is fatigued and so drained from this. I know that bi-polar is incurable and there’s nothing that I can do. All I can do is remain supportive until I can’t anymore. It’s like being cuffed to a rollercoaster and not being able to get off.
Same here, she has been on the meds for almost 2 months now and is still moody and irritable, how long does it take to fully recover, sometimes I dont think I can handle it any more.
Wow this is me I just moved into an apartment and I know my wife needs me. This is so hard to deal with I know My mother in law cannot be the support system my wife needs consistently so now I get to deal with this separation knowing my wife needs me but I myself got depressed and almost gave up on my marriage. I was at a point that I needed a break. I felt like no one understands what the person without mental illness it a tough road but I would do it all over again my Love for my wife is that Strong.
I cant see straight from ugly crying. my husband has BP and things have been so hard. I truly appreciate what you do and please do not stop sharing your amazing story. Alot of people need to hear what your channel shares and Idk I know it saved me before and is saving my marriage now
God bless you brother, I have a bipolar girlfiend who I love soooooooo much, but sooo much, you have no idea. Its tough but you are right, she really knows how to love!! with patience and God´s help we are advancing little by little.
Thank you for posting this. I had 18 years of marriage, total 21 years with him. I finally divorced in 2017. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the damage. Something in me died that I can’t get back. He refused medication. I spent most of my life with him,it’s been tough to rebuild my life. My entire existence was about him, his needs and our son. I neglected myself completely, lost my physical and emotional health. Not only was he bipolar but our son had special needs. I don’t remember who I was before meeting him.
This is exactly how I feel but we are still married he tells me he loves me but is not in love with me . And won't leave me I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells. I've been with him for 11 years and hes 11 years older then me hes all I know we have 4 kids together and I feel like I'm stuck I love him so much but I'm tired and I'm becoming mentally drained
I am currently in this situation and it's difficult. He won't take his meds and we also have a son diagnosed with "extreme bouts of aggression accompanied with mood dysregulation" because son is to young for an official BP diagnosis. I'm at my limit
Diana Peters My heart goes out to you. I beg of you to take measures to care for yourself. I destroyed my adrenal system staying to stressed. He tormented me and I have a child who has hearing impairment, life threatening food allergies and LD.
This was such a power and healthful video. My husband decided to walk away from the marriage to look for someone who can understand him better than the work I was doing. His ups and downs where definitely the hardest part of the marriage.
This is helpful. You're clear, concise, and succinct. Your compassion for the community and self awareness demonstrated is such a good example for us with and without BPD. You are addressing your personal experience and specific topics. That is so helpful! The community is being helped more than you know by your voice. Please keep posting more videos. It's more helpful even if things are repeated because the tips and suggestions need to be reiterated anyways. Plus, the information reveals different key tips each time that it's watched. Please create and post more videos. We really appreciate it. L. Vorst, LLMSW
L Vorst Thank you so very much for taking the time to post such a wonderful kind comment. I am so happy about the channel growing and the potential to help so many people. My goal starting this channel was to help as many people as I possibly could so your words really do mean a lot to me. Very warm welcome to the channel and please keep stopping back by to learn more with me :-) Welcome to the polar warrior club!
We've been together for 41 years and counting. My wife and mother of 9 boys and 3 girls was diagnosed in 2007. It was difficult to say the least. But our faith in God and each other pulled us through difficult times. Our children are very close to us particularly their mother. She's my hero. God bless you brother 🙏💪🤞
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏 Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My husband has been my strength in my mental illness journey, and I am truly grateful that God put his locker next to mine back in high school. I believe many people experience symptoms of bipolar disorder because of the stress they are under due to relationship problems with people in their lives, bad dietary habits of eating unhealthy foods, lack of exercise, and abuse of substances (cigarettes, alcohol and drugs) . I believe the road to wellness requires you to find a balance of health by discovering your inner strength to understand and do what is necessary to maintain it. Life is a hard journey, but it is easier when you have someone you love and trust to help you along the way.
I eat healthy never abused alcohol, drugs or cigarettes and I still have bipolar disorder. Avoiding drugs and alcohol will help immensely but it might not be enough to cure someone.
My boyfriend just got out of the mental hospital and doing outpatient for alcoholism. We watched this video together last night. Our relationship is identical to you and your wife's. He asked today for couples counseling. We want to be the 10 percent that makes it. Thank you for this video!
Update: EVERYTHING WENT SOUTH! BUT! He is in an alcohol treatment center for the next couple of months. That was the biggest obstacle. Hopefully he stays sober and we can have a better life
I can't even maintain friendships due to my bipolar and other psych issues. I really admire marriages etc that survive through one person having psych diognoses
fiona scheibel To be honest I feel that way sometimes too. But now I’m learning that anything in this life is still possible as long as I stay on my meds and to manage my mental health better
I can't believe how strong your wife is. I think im breaking up with mine. He refuses to get treatment, thinks I'm the most horrible person on earth half the time, constantly screams at me. But blames me instead of understanding that its his own symptoms. I don't think i can do this anymore
Thank you for this. I do feel like I die a little of myself everyday. I feel lost. I don't know who I am anymore....wife, caretaker, mother. Are roles I can do and do do. But I don't know me anymore. I appreciate your insight.
Well done you , you are a very brave man. I suffer from G A D and it can suck the life out of you. Where you are week you are stròng , out of your weakness comes your strength. I alwas prah to St Dipina she is the patron St For mental illness. I wish you all the best for your future God bless you and stay safe. You are the master of ur own thoughts. 🥰🙏❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
My wife is bipolar, we've been together for ten years now. It's getting worse the past few years. I think we are not going to be together anymore.. It hurts because I love her with all my heart.. It hurts because of the stuff she says to me... Feeling lost has been a normal feeling now...
@@shawnkiesel5349 hope you’re doing OK mentally and I’m sending positive energy to you. I would love to know how things are unfolding if you have a minute to reply.
My partner has not been diagnosed with bipolar depression, but it runs in her family and she has all the symptoms. We have been fighting to make the relationship better but nothing was working. One night about a week or so ago, randomly, this video came up on her UA-cam so she clicked on it since it's been on her mind and she made the pivotal choice to get better. Your videos have helped me stay sane when her moods are down. It's a constant reminder that battling this everyday is not easy. Just wanted to say THANK YOU!!!
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story! Having a correct diagnosis opens up a whole world of treatment plans and resources. If you're interested, Rob is offering personal coaching sessions on Patreon! Take care.🙏 Dianna Polar Warrior Team Member For additional content consider joining us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I'm bipolar diagnosed at 17 and that's also when I met my husband. We've been married for 11 years. We have a very codependent relationship like you were decribing. Thank you for this video it was really eye opening in reference to my husband. We have some work to do.
Hi Emily! I'm soooooo glad the words helped! This wasn't an easy video to make but I think that total transparency is so important so people can see things that go on that most don't talk about. Please keep me posted on your progress and welcome to my channel! My heart goes out to you guys and I hope you have many more amazing years together. It's a rough road, but the more we learn, the more successful our relationships can be. Hope to see you back on my channel again in the future if a video speaks to you. Take care =) -Rob Whittaker - Polar Warriors
This is really good information. I sent this link to my wife. I have been trying to send her Bipolar info every now and again but she just doesn't read the articles or watch the videos. But I am still hopeful she will take it a bit more serious and stop seeing me as a monster.
Trevor Field thank you so much for the kind words Trevor. Believe me, I have done my fair share of damage to friends and partners before. Sometimes they get over it, and sometimes they don’t. I think it is wonderful that you are aware and trying to do something about it. I support that so very much and it’s just part of the polar warrior journey. Stop back by my channel anytime. You are very welcome here :-)
It is amazing how different people can have the exact same reaction and life...We are at the getting help point....because 10 years has taken its toll. It is hard for me to trust.. I'm so proud of you and you have gave me strength to keep fighting for my husband I hope he can make progress like you and so proud of you and your wife
You have helped me so much this week I have been in a bad mixed state and terrified. You have so much wisdom and a calm voice. YOUR intelligence is so illuminating thank you for your on going vigilance in educating and being there for support . keep the good fight.
I am the bipolar one in my marriage. We have been married for 27 years. At first it was difficult but with luv and lots of honest communication we have found sum peace in our relationship.
You are a strong individual my friend. You have done what most with this disease can not. You are so calm and clear headed. My best friend suffered from bipolar and addiction. He refused to get help or get clean. In a fit of rage he punched his dad in the face and got caught with weed later that evening. The judge gave him 2 years behind bars. It’s been 3 months since we have had contact and I miss HIm a lot. Thanks for this video.
Love is so strong.. it sounds like you really love your wife and she REALLY loves you 🤗 I love how your love for each other overrides the illness. You definitely fought the illness!
I'm a 37 year old grown man and 2 minutes in you have me in tears my man. I can relate to what you are speaking of on so many levels, wasn't married but a beautiful 11 year old daughter a former toxic relationship "we've just began 3 weeks ago to actually meeting" without any arguments or disagreements for the first time we actually listened to each other without judgement. My behaviour cost me the relationship not sure if we'll ever be back together but I live in hope maybe one day. She never deserved what I put her through. Can't thank you enough for the information I've got within a few hours on your channel this evening, other people who have to live with this condition along with their family and friends will know just how honest and upfront you're being when you speak about what you have and are going through. An absolute legend taking this shit head on and controlling the condition and putting procedures and checks in place so the condition can't control you. Peace and love
Wow...amazing im so happy to see this video ....my husband he is a bipolar he does alot of things that hurts me alot but im always forgiving him even if he doesn't show me that he cares i still know inside him theres this beautiful man i fell in love with two years ago it kills me but i will never give up on him as i love him too much he is my all.
I'm bipolar, but this is how I felt trying to support a husband with C-PTSD which also includes manic and depressive episodes. I don't have psychotic breaks, but he does. I tried every way I could think of to make it better, but nothing I could do helped him, and he refuses to get help from professionals or anyone else. He was not understanding or accepting of my own struggles and would get harder and harder on me the worse my struggle got. Trying to make it work over 10 years eventually almost killed me. After considering it for over 6 months to make sure my decision wasn't influenced by my condition, I knew it had to be over for the sake of my own health. I know that relationships will continue to be somewhat of a struggle for me and that I need to remain vigilant to mitigate my issues. But I found that spending time around someone else who naturally brings out the best in me rather than the worst, wants to understand me, is willing to work through it with me, and feels like a source of stability (without special effort to do anything for me) is making a big positive difference in my wellness that everyone including my therapist notices.
I’m grateful for you sharing and making this. I watched this the first time my Husband was diagnosed a year and a half ago. Now that I listen to this again, it makes more sense. Going through his first big episode. Still need time,love and patience for the healing process to take place. I’m fortunate that he is not someone who skips or stops his meds. But the mania is going to be around a little while longer, till everything settles. I miss him, the old him. It is coming back slowly. I just wonder how much will return and how much damage is done with my shut down states and inner trauma child. Thank you once more. I really appreciate you and your wonderful wife, that you can use in your testimony, on your road to healing. It gives me hope.❤
Was with a bi-polar ex-fiancee 5 years, yes many of these things are true. But it ended miserably for us. At least it was a honest reflection of the hardships of both involved. Cheers.
My husband only just recently received a diagnosis. I’m learning so much from your channel. It’s a very lonely road but I remind myself that it’s not personal. We are hopeful that he will get the might combination/dosage of meds and your videos are a huge help!! 💜
Hi thank you for this clip i am so guilty of verbally and emotionally abusing my husband especially when i am going through mania. He really supported me and i am one of the blessed ones with that kind of support. Once again thank you for making these clips they are really valuable thank you
Hey nice one.... Here I too suffer from bipolar disorder 2. At times its difficult but life goes on....thanks! Ur videos are amazing! God bless...take care!
Great video! It is a great analogy to other relationships. My best friend is bipolar. I didn't realize he was bipolar until our friendship was developing. You can't just walk away from a person because you have learned he has a mental disorder. It has been 8 long, hard, wonderful years. I have learned a lot about the bipolar condition. And so has my best friend. I wouldn't trade him for the world.
This is really validating to listen to as someone who was married to a person living with bipolar disorder. Thank you for being vulnerable and making this! Unfortunately, my marriage did end because he was not yet at the point where he could admit he had an illness and be serious about treatment even after several hospitalizations and a lot of damage. I was unhappy, of course, and my life was much like the one of your wife that you described. I was willing to work it out if he'd take treatment seriously but he could not at that point (I now know that's a part of the disorder sometimes). I had to leave. I'm glad I did for myself, and, as predicted he did finally recognize and get treatment once I left him. I guess it was the wakeup call he needed but I am forever altered because of my experiences with him. I left for myself first but the relationship was way too codependent and I was not helping him by continuing to put up with his destructive behavior. He needed to pick up the pieces alone and I needed to get to a safe environment to hold on to my own mental health and my own issues with anxiety and depression. Thinking of all those in similar situations and sending light. 🙏🏼 Thank you again, Rob! 😊
Hey there nadia ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now in which he can lend an ear, give advice or answer questions. I think you may benefit from that. Take gentle care. Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Thankyou. A million times over. I’ve been at my wits end and I will ask him to watch this when he stabilises again. This has given me hope where there was none. Thankyou.
blood criesout Your comment is one of the exact reasons why started this channel. I am so glad that I could be of some help. I really know how hard this illness can be, especially on our partners. I’ve done my share of damage. Timing is definitely so important. When he is stabilized, or just starting to show signs of depression and reaching out, that would be the ideal time to approach a topic. I’d like to recommend a resource to you... It’s a book that will teach you so much about the illness from a partner’s perspective and give you a lot of tools to approach the relationship. I’m not affiliated with the author at all. It’s just a book that’s really helped me and my partners. It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. You can grab a used copy on EBay for a few bucks. Totally worth it I promise. Stop back by my channel anytime. I have a lot of good information here. Let me know if you have any questions.
I’m so glad you found the channel and that the video was helpful. We have a really neat group of people here in this community. If you’d like to connect, or need some extra support, there is a link in the video description where I can be reached 😊😊☀️☀️ -Rob
Hi Warriors! I’m 44 and just got a diagnosis of Bipolar 2 with a side helping of rapid cycling, sprinkled with a mixed state. My wife of 16 years has been through the ringer, but she is still here. I feel bad for all the shit I have put her through (it has been a lot). I’m finally getting on some proper medication and cut down on the self medicating (weed). There is not a big enough present on Planet Earth to give my wife for staying with me when I was such a monster. I will have to try to let her know in smaller ways for the rest of my life.
I have been with my Husband for almost 20 years and I've known he was Bipolar since Day 1. We have never ever broken up and never will. I told him he was stuck with me for Life !! 🥰🥰🥰 We have been thru Hell and Back but we are each others Rocks and Shoulders to cry on !! 🥰🥰🥰
Same here. My husband and I have been married 20 years and he has been Bipolar since day 1. We're really going through it right now since he refuses to medicate (he has been able to function without medication just fine up until now, but his BP is getting worse with age.) The last thing I want to do is give up on him eventhough he makes me so sad and hurt sometimes. I love him more than anything.
@@summergray9481 if he will just try meds, he can do low doses. He might get much better. He needs to do it for himself. I hope he will. Bless you both!
I was finally correctly diagnosed with bipolar type 1 in early 2009, after years of treatment solely for major depression. In late December of 2009, my wife of over 10 years told me she’d been having an on and off affair for several years, she wanted a divorce, and that one of my children was not really mine. The marriage ended, my heart broke, and a huge part of me died. Over time, I’ve come to the realization that I have very little to offer any woman and that I’ll be single as long as I live. I don’t want to subject anyone else to having to deal with me or risk myself being so terribly hurt again. I push people away, whether it be friends or possible romantic interests, and isolate myself. Having bipolar means a very lonely life for many people, but I’d rather be lonely than ruin other people’s lives.
My husband of almost 10 years was diagnosed with BD2 yesterday after months of turmoil between us. We’re just starting on this journey of getting help. These tips are pure gold! I have to start building my support system right now because I have been lost in the emotion and episodes over the last year. Any resources that I can educate myself on how to set the boundaries and making a checklist before an episode would be appreciated!
I can relate to this, every relationship and most friendships ended when I was undiagnosed until a mo th ago at 29...i carry 29 years of regret and shame
Sigh. Thank you for validating what we feel as loved ones about our role in the relationship with the person suffering with bipolar. I’m so happy that you have recognized and are receiving treatment.
I been with the same man for the last 38 years now. And when I met him I was really sick, not just mentally. I had become addicted to pills. He saved my life. And he will not turn his back on me. He said No. And said we are not giving up on you. One day you will be better. I struggle like a many people out there waiting to be diagnosed. I just asked for help 2 years ago. I was not diagnosed with Bipolor 1 until about a month ago. I am struggling alot. It helps to know I can watch your videos and make comments.
My friends say, it's like being on a Roller Coaster. Your videos are informative & are delivered with a calm voice. They help a lot! Keep up the (Great work) creating them. Thanks!
This was very vulnerable and I so appreciate your story and sharing what worked for you and your relationship and marriage. I still hear my ex husband tell me he read an article once saying that taking care of a bipolar person was compared to taking care of a cancer patient, and in the moment I was so shocked the article had compared the two, as I watched my aunt pass away from cancer. After this year and finally researching more and listen to more stories I’ve begun to truly understand both sides (being bipolar myself and depressed a lot - isolating myself when I feel down - I remember feeling so guilty that I was holding him back from living a good life and that there would be someone else more fun or stable and better out there for him - so naturally you feel bad about yourself and land up pushing the person you love the most away because you feel guilty and ashamed - and you feel they deserve better) and then to hear his side and how taxing it was on him and that he felt like my care taker - it’s understandable as that’s how it can become like you say when there are no boundaries or communication around how to cope or deal with it. Hugely eye opening. Sometimes I feel that it’s easier to be alone because why would I want to put someone through what I go through alone, it’s hard enough on me why burden someone else. I think both people with bipolar and the people who choose to love and care for a bipolar person are so incredibly special and strong! Lovely to hear some marriages can withstand and make it work and stay together xx
Wow, thanks for sharing all that! It’s awesome to see you reflecting on everything. Relationships can be tough, but it’s cool that you’re figuring things out. I'm very accessible and happy to answer any questions you have... Below is a link to my private community on Patreon. It's where you can message me directly and I'll get back to you right away. We can also arrange a phone call if that would be more helpful. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors -Rob
I’m so glad I saw your comment. I get so many that it’s hard for me to respond to all of them now. Today is actually our eight year anniversary! It’s been the most mature and harmonious relationship I’ve ever had. Thank you so much for asking ❤️☀️☀️ -Rob
My husband and I were having a very hard time with me dealing with my bipolar. I have had bipolar since my middle twenties and I am 74 years old now. We have had our ups and downs but I was basically depressed most of the time but able to function. I had three kids, took care of my home and went to college got my nursing degree and worked full- time as a RN . I was also a director of nursing at one time. I would get restless with my jobs after about 5years and find a new job in the nursing field. It seemed when I looked back on these changes of jobs, places, people and patients I took care of, it felt like I got out of my present job before I may have found myself in some trouble with the people I worked with?? Never did until last job. I wrought up a chart on a patient who was doing very well and dated on purpose for a later date. It’s the only one I ever did that before to. I was going into a manic phase of my bipolar and didn’t realize it at that time so I couldn’t explain why I did it. I resigned after that. My boss said she was going to get my license taken away. When my supervisor or boss found out I was bipolar she kept a close eye on me checking out the care I gave and my charts. This mistake was the first one she found in the 5 years I worked there and then resigned. She was quite happy to see me leave. But I did have difficulty reading the changes in my bipolar moods. When I was depressed I worked through it on my job. And when I was manic I felt great until I got that feeling I needed to change jobs. 1. I need to know where to go to find a good group on line to share with. 2. I need all the advice you can give on where to find good information on bipolar and to help myself become more independent, care for myself and help my family to stop controlling me. And I mean with everything. I need a little freedom and respect. I love my family dearly and appreciate them all. I have appreciated their help to keep me out of any trouble I may of possibly gotten into. But I feel I have lost my freedom after I resigned from my job. I never worked again. I lost self respect. Please help me . Message me where I can reach you. Thank you
@sherriebrown1445 Hi Sherri i hope u get this. He has a fb group i believe. I just started watching him myself as I am bipolar also and am looking for tools to help me manage my symptoms better so i hope i get to see u in the group and i pray that u are doing well.
OMG when I started to learn about it I cried. I told my spouse and family the guilt I felt was heavy. But the love and support I have received is amazing! Thanks for the video
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏 Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
That is exactly what my wife told me and has told me several times! I hate that anyone would have to think that about themselves. Especially when I know it’s not true
This video damn near brought me to tears. My wife has Bipolar Disorder and we are currently struggling trying to get her the help she needs...we've been married for about a year and a half now, and before me, she never really had someone that encouraged her to get help...and sometimes she resents me for "making her go through this when she doesn't want to" sometimes she tells me she hates me and that she will never forgive me as long as I make her take meds and seek help..I can't help but think that everything I do is wrong..but her mother, who has dealt with bipolar her whole life and has (for the most part) gotten to a point where she can control it, has been a huge help and tells me I'm doing everything right and that one day she'll thank me...it's just really hard..
Thank you so much Tyler for just being there for someone who experiences life like we do. The fact that you are searching for answers, getting her family on board, and doing what you can is truly a gift to people like me. You are a wonderful person to be so strong and caring. You are absolutely not alone in feeling "like you can't do anything right" sometimes! Please know that is extremely common for our partners to feel like they are walking on egg shells, or just can't reach us sometimes. It just means that the illness is stronger than the person at that moment... The lady you love is still in there - under all those strong emotions that seam to "take us over." There is a book that I'd like to recommend to you that has changed my life and relationships... It's called "loving someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast. She is a brilliant author and the information in there will blow your mind. A LOT more will make sense if you can check that out. I hope you all have a peaceful holiday season and stop by anytime to learn more with me =) -Robert
I'm going through it now. My wife is bipolar and over the years I have pushed her away. We're in a seperation period right now. One day all is well and we agree to work on the marriage, and the next she wants to divorce me over any minor slip up. I'm doing it all, working, taking care of the kids, trying to help her and the marriage. At times she refuses to communicate and says I'm the worse person in the world. It's mentally exhausting.
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. All patrons can contact him directly by private message and he frequently offers free phone calls!!! If you decide to join, you can mention my name and he will give you a free call. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! We have many family and friends take part. Take gentle care! 🙏 Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I am thankful you put this out there. There are self help groups all over the United States called Codependents Anonymous, taken off of the Alcoholics Anonymous model but definitely different than A.A. I was going to one of these groups for the past two years, it really helped me. It's important to have a good sense of yourself and realize that you can't change other people but you can set some boundaries for what you will and will not tolerate from your spouse or your kids or your parents, etc. And that's not selfish, it is honoring your feelings and not letting yourself become a doormat to someone. I'm so grateful you put this out on here, and even for people who don't have a bipolar spouse, to have a good marriage takes work, you have to keep communication open and like the old song from the 70s, it's not always going to be a rose garden!!! Thanks
This is so encouraging for me as a spouse to hear. My husband can’t put into words what he feels and sometimes it IS so psychologically damaging that I don’t know what the “right” thing to do is. This has encouraged me that it’s ok to stay. And he really doesn’t mean the horrible things he says when he’s having an episode.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It takes a lot of strength to support a partner through their struggles, and your empathy is truly commendable. I’m really glad the video resonated with you! I'm very accessible and happy to answer any questions you have... Below is a link to my private community on Patreon. It's where you can message me directly and I'll get back to you right away. We can also arrange a phone call if that would be more helpful. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors -Rob
Tears welled in my eyes at least a dozen times listening to your story. It's incredible how similar it is to mine- and many others, no doubt. Thank you for sharing your extremely helpful and deeply personal feelings- what you are doing makes a difference in the world.
Thank you for this video-also, intentional or not, I loved the lighting you used here. Half lighting your face felt very symbolic in a way. I’m such a visual learner so it helped me focus on what you were saying to see both sides speaking
I have a son that is bipolar. Thank you so much for your videos. This has been so helpful. I did send him your videos. Hopefully he watches. It is so nice to see someone put into words what is happening, it is nice to know we’re not alone. His guilt overwhelms him, maybe hearing your videos can help him understand that it is not his choice but treatment is his choice. Your videos are amazing and my family and I thank you!!!!!!
I cried. My husband is bipolar, his mania leads to psychosis and becomes incredibly hurtful strange unpredictable and impossible to communicate with. I wish I could meet this guy's wife in person so that I could talk to one person that knows what this is like.
Ja Series my heart totally goes out to you. I know it can be so painful to be on the receiving end of bipolar symptoms. The fear, uncertainty, and just how exhausting it can be. I know that so many couples have no idea what they were getting themselves into because like me, they were diagnosed later in the relationship. Something I didn’t mention, (because I wanted to keep the video a little more constructive) was that the relationship ended due to her choice to be with many other people. If we were still together, I would be more than happy to get you connected. If you are looking to expand your support circle, I have a beautiful community that we started through Patreon. I have many members who are the partner of someone who has bipolar disorder. The community is very solution-based and full of people who are truly doing what they can to seek treatment. It’s a good SAFE place to reach out and not be so alone in your experience. There is a link at the top of all my video descriptions if you’d like to take a look. There’s also a book I would like to recommend that made a huge impact on the success of my current relationship. It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. You could find a cheap used a copy online, and there’s even an audiobook version. Bipolar disorder can be so consuming, so I encourage you to please make sure you are taking care of yourself... make sure you have your own private support circle, counselor, and help. Take gentle care and stop by the channel anytime. You are very welcome here 😊🤗☀️ -Rob
I'm in the same situation. It's been 3 years and I am finally understanding why he goes from wonderful to hateful and back again so randomly...I wish you the best.
I am married to a man with bipolar, and yeah, I wish I could talk to someone who gets what that is like. Trying to talk to someone else is usually pretty useless. Well meaning friends say that his moods qualify as 'emotional abuse', which only made me feel more isolated. I am not looking to be the 'wronged party' I just want help figuring out how to help. Keep reaching out, because you aren't alone. Feel free to reach out to me too if you need it.
I also am married to a bi polar man and it is nice to be able to find others to talk to because its just to hard to explain to someone who doesn't understand and just thinks we are having a fight when i wasnt even having an issue until he was. He also self medicates with alcohol and will not seek help so here i am 25yrs later moved my daughter and i out of the house and he kicked out my 20yr old and the dogs. He is all by himself and doesn't think he has a problem or done anything wrong. Such a hard thing i really respect this guy for getting help and telling his story it has really made me feel less alone
@@jenniferquirk3485 madam during a maniac state the person himself doesnt know what to do ...he himself cant accept the fact that he is ill as he feel like he has super natural powers .....its just the feeling and illusion ..but the person feels its all true ...ur mentally elevated to 10 times then the normal state ..give him time and take some time ..pls help him ...he doesnt actually realise what hes doing ... He needs medication ...only u can help him ...for any further assistance ..my watsup no is +919037534537....feel free to contact if required ..i really want to help ...
This sounds IDENTICAL to what my wife and I are going through right now. I'm have Bipolar two and she's tried her best to help me. Over Thanksgiving I had an episode that could possibly end our marriage of 17 years. I'm 43 now and was only recently diagnosed. I feel a little better having seen this. Thanks
I’m so glad I watched this video currently going through this as we speak and at my widths end! This is the hardest thing of my life and I am tired of trying everything
Awww thank you for sharing! Make sure you are taking gentle care of yourself at this time. There is a video I made for friends and family that may help. 🙏❤🌞 - Rob For additional content consider joining us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
This video is incredible. I watch it now with tears streaming down my face because I am the partner, and I am at my last ounce. I hope I can get my parter to watch this video and feel that glimmer of hope that I am feeling right now. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thanks so much for this, am part of the 10% who will stay in their relationship. My husband is bipolar n we have been together for six years. He spends all his savings and we have to struggle till he is stable.
Thank you so much for taking the time to do these heartfelt videos. Not only are they really helpful but the forum you have created for so many of us who are, or have been, struggling helps us to connect and not feel so alone. It so easy to think that everyone else has a much better relationship. My partner has had Bipolar for over 30years. We have been together for 28years, so I guess we've done something right!! But there have been many times when I wanted to leave, when my own health suffered and when I lost control (becoming verbally abusive/yelling etc), not something that is easy to admit. I had also been in the mental health profession up until 20 years ago, when not surprisingly I suffered extreme burnout and had to leave the profession. It forced me to focus on myself more, and it helped my partner to see me as a human with weaknesses rather than just their caretaker. She was on lithium for many years which did actually help, but sadly it has caused some kidney damage. She started to come off it 2 years ago because of this, which seemed okay for a while but did not give the buffer required to help her cope with the extra stressors/anxieties brought on by the covid pandemic. It was during lockdown last year that a manic episode was triggered. Despite early warning signs I could not get her to listen to me, nor could I get any help from her gp, which led to the police (I'm in the UK) having to come and take her to hospital. Then 3 months later the same thing happened. It was so traumatic and confusing. We eventually discovered that her thyroid was extremely overactive, which had triggered the manic episode. Now, life is calmer and more stable. She is on Valproate and thyroid is stable. The trauma of the last year has been awful but has taught us many things. My partner is not in denial anymore of the seriousness of this illness. She listens more, is more open to suggestions. The psychiatrist is listening more. I wrote a letter, with my partner's consent, to the psychiatrist to explain my concerns more fully and to make suggestions. It seems to have helped. Every crisis can be the start of something different, a new chapter. It doesn't feel like that at the time, but when the dust settles there can be another opportunity. I would never have said this a year ago, but wanted to say to others not to give up. This is the first time Ive shared anything online, so thank you Rob and all who take the time to read this.
kappy131 Me too! My goal is to help as many people as I possibly can. Comments like yours keep me motivated to keep doing what I’m doing. Very warm welcome to my channel and I hope you will keep stopping by to learn more with me :-)
kappy131 Sounds great! I try to post new videos every single Monday, so I will have a new one out in just a couple of days. Just filmed the video today :-)
Your videos are amazing and so helpful to someone who loves someone with bipolar and is learning about it for the first time. I would love to hear more from your wife and her experience going through this from her side. Thank you for being so candid and helping someone who wants to be a better partner and is always trying to improve
I’m so glad the videos have been helpful! Your feedback means a lot to me. I think it’s wonderful that you are spending some of your time here, trying to learn more and bridge that gap of understanding. I actually had members of my Patreon community submit questions they wanted me to ask my partner and the video is available to members of my Patreon community. There’s a link in the video description if you’d like to check it out. I hope you have a peaceful start to your week and please continue to stop by the channel! - Rob
Got diagnosed 30 years ago, I’ve been with my other half for 19 years, he’s stood by me through everything the mania, the depression, the attitude and anger, the being g useless with money, the utter car crash that is my life, but he’s the only person I’ve been with that I’ve not cheated on, had never been faithful before I met him, he’s out up with so much from me, especially the fact it’s only recently that I’ve actually started to take the bi polar seriously, that there is this thing that affects my life, I’ve got M.S and Crohn’s disease and a titanium cage round my spine and just recovering from cancer, always tried to put my mental health to one side and make it out it wasn’t important ( I should know better as I’m a qualified nurse ) it’s finally dawned on me that I need to sort this out finally, and you have been amazing with these videos, it’s made me realise it’s time to take notice. Thank you
Such a great comment. Thank you for sharing! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord. Would love to have you there! Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My boyfriend and I are both bipolar. We have been together for 10 years. He has never been hospitalized and I have been many times. I am always worrying that I am too much for him. I try to take as much responsibility for my own feelings and behaviors as I can. I go to counseling. We both take our meds and avoid drugs and alcohol. So far so good. I am blessed to have him in my life. I think he is happy to have me also!
@CG-sx3no Thanks. I had to go off of lithium after 16 years because my kidneys stopped functioning well. So things are difficult right now. I am still with my boyfriend.
After many studies there is currently now a Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 back in 2018. I know im not alone but I feel like I am sometimes. My aunt told me to watch your video. So I did and im 100% happy that I did. Being BP2 I don't struggle with the mania. I struggle with hypomania. I have embraced myself and understand that, this is me now. The part where I struggle is helping those around me understand me when I dont understand a whole lot myself as of yet.
Hey there ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. For a very limited time he is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now in which he can lend an ear, give advice or answer questions. Take gentle care. Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
What an awesome video. Thank you for sharing your struggles and success stories. I am just beginning a relationship with a wonderful woman who has bipolar disorder. We have been together for just over a month and last night was the first time I witnessed her beginning to shut down. I was kind and compassionate with her and just reassured her that I wasn't going anywhere. I gave her the time to mentally process without withdrawing from her and leaving her alone to deal with it by herself. After a couple of hours of awkward silence, she began to open up and we were able to have a very good slow conversation. 1 Corinthians 13 is known as the love chapter in the bible. Applying these principles in any relationship is beneficial, but even more so in a relationship where a mental disorder exists.
Hey there ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now. I think you may benefit from that. Take gentle care. Sometimes we all need someone to talk to: www.crisistextline.org/ teenlineonline.org/talk-now/ Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member (H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community. www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My husband fell in love with me and knew that I had severe bipolar depression and we are still together and still fighting to get my manic spells under control. This video gave us some direction when we were in need.
Struggling right now with my family because I’m bipolar type 1. Thank you for this video, I think me learning more into bipolar and my symptoms will help me out!!!!!
Hi @FrizzleFry91! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I know this illness can be incredibly hard to navigate. I'd love to offer any support I can... If it interests you, I have a private community where you can message me directly and network with other people who are going through similar struggles. No pressure of course, but it would be great to have you join us. I'll include a link below: www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors -Rob
AlexanderThePup that’s fantastic Alex! I’m so glad the video had a positive impact like that. I will have a new video out tomorrow and I hope you enjoy it :-) -Robert www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
You are very fortunate that your wife is smart, loving and understanding enough to work through your situation. So many would just call it quits. It’s wonderful you could work through challenges together. That is what a real relationship is about. Communicating and finding solutions because you love one another and value the relationship. Thank you for sharing.
You're a shining example to all of us. Thank you so much for being so candid and brave. I was not diagnosed with BP until I was 53. I am 65 now. Looking back, I see that at times my wife of 40 years straightened me out and kept me going. She died last year. Going on is my way of honoring her.
I'm so sorry for your loss! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a support group for patrons only on discord. Would love to have you there! Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I have had mental illness Scince a horrific child hood with bad Deppresion + a serviveour abuse mentally physically now bi polar age 50 with a partner who gets back lash from mood swings ect thanks 4 this video I am not married but this is so so helpful. Shalom. . Bless
Thank you for taking time to help us better understand bipolar. My husband is Bipolar and was diagnosed about 5 or 6 years ago. We have definitely had our ups and downs. We have been together for 14 years. Even got divorced a few years back. Lol didn't last long. We were back together 6months later. We are actually going through a rough spot now. He is in the crashing stage. You videos are very informative and helpful in helping me see and learn more about what he is experiencing and that its not all personal. He isn't one to talk about it much. Thank you again for your time and helping me understand the love of my life better. It has really helped me alot and I hope to be of more help to him by understanding him better in a new way.
I must thank my husband for taking care of my needs as a bipolar and still keep a full time job and Work in his clinic. I have never been hospitalized for bipolar symptoms.My 2 children deserve credit too.
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I am bipolar 1, my husband has no mental illness and we have been married for 34 years. Yes, he has saved my life several times and I have done terrible things to him. We had four beautiful children, yes I did the self medicating thing, but at the core was love...his love he loved so much that he always held onto me and pull me back from the edge of the abyss.
Renee, thos is encouraging.
I'm in a situationship with someone who has BPD, and I have an anxiety disorder. We're both mental health care users, currently on treatment.
I haven't seen him in a hypomanic/manic state, however I think he has trust issues as his previous partner left after he got hospitalised (according to him). I really love him. I also think I am ready for a relationship with someone with BPD. I have seen how some symptoms can present, I'm a medical practitioner....but I can't say I know what to expect from some I love.
With God and this channel and people with stories like yours give me hope, even though I know it won't be a walk in the park.
I had Clinical Depression a few years ago, and my new woman is BP, so this advice is good to know.
my fiance is bipolar. She needed to be schooled on boundaries. Plus she had to let go of her discard pile. Since we have to forsake all others.
How did you tell him you were bipolar one ? How did he accept it ?
@@ncisept5900 not trying to be the grammar police by any means, but usually "BPD" is used when describing borderline personality disorder. I only say this because I would hate for you to get advice or research something that although has some behavior similar to BP, requires much different treatment.
Married 13 years and 4 kids with my BP wife. I’ve swam thru the depths of hell to save my wife. Finally understand and see everything before it happens! I’ve finally gathered the courage to set boundaries. Structure and routine as well as LOTS OF LOVE! The harder she pushes the more I love. She in return agrees to take her meds regularly as well as stay away from social media. And whenever she needs to get out of the house she has a chaperone! The symptoms are easy to spot now. Driving fast, pacing the house, losing sleep, agitation. Extra pep in her step! When these are spotted that’s when it’s time to watch her like a hawk.
I know my husband is suffering from this. I’m positive. He refuses to see it. What do I do?
I love you. This gives me hope. I’m sure she appreciates you caring this much to pay so much attention
@@discoisnotdead There's not much you can do. If they refuse to see there's a problem? Than the best thing to do is set them free! I know it hurts so much! It feels like half my heart is gone now. Only thing that keeps me going? Are the children. It's so sad thinking and remembering the good times. It's not how I envisioned my future with her. I was used abused and thrown away! There's nothing I can say that will change your situation. Just comfort, that you are NOT ALONE! There's many of us with shattered heart's and broken dreams. I wish we could comfort one another in person and let out our emotions. But this is as close as we will ever get!
What can be done once we watch like a hawk?
You are a beautiful person. Thank you for loving her.
Ps- I would really love to see your wife do a video and talk about what she’s learned and what she feels like are the best ways to cope and stay healthy as a partner to you.
Absolutely, great idea!
@@Startupsandsushi yea I agree. It may be me one day. I’ve been looking for a channel on the wives tools and coping skills and there isn’t one I can find. It’s so hard to have a spouse who is bipolar.
VERY TRUE .
@@bodybygia While I can absolutely understand where you’re coming from, please do not mention such things on the comments of this channel. So many people with Bipolar watch these videos. There’s always the possibility of someone in a negative mindset reading your comment.
@@luca6394 agreed
I had tears in my eyes because the way you described what your wife was going through is spot on what I've been feeling. Thank you for this video.
i am also going thru this with my husband...
Just went through this the first time with my partner last night and had the same reaction.
Me too
I am 2 months in a relationship with someone who is bipolar. To be honest it's not ideal for me I was married to someone who was bipolar in the past and they refuse to get any kind of help on medication. I never wanted to go through that again. But here I am found my night and shining armor but every day decisions are changed multiple times vacations are spoke of and canceled. I can't depend on stability or consistency. The emotional roller coaster is a lot for me She knows she needs the meds but she doesn't want to take him and she doesn't want me to ask She doesn't want me to pressure. So me inquiring about meds and therapy just pushes her further from it So how am I supposed to be in the chaos with no recourse. It would be so much better if she was awful partner but she's one of the best people I've ever been with it And that's hard to lose.
This video described what I’m feeling so spot on. I hope my partner seeks help and I hope I can set those boundaries to take care of my own mental health
I love you for posting this bro. I fell in love with a bi polar woman before knowing she was bipolar so i really needed this video.
I am right there brother. It has been rough but she is my wife. The caregiving aspect is harder then anything I have ever dealt with. Keep your head up.
On the side of the bipolar wife we thank u...sometimes we need a reminder that we're off the deep end n need to come back..tbh idk how u do it😔 I cant even stand myself sometimes idk how tf could my bf..he must be running out of steam..I hope this vid was the snap I needed to get my sgit together
The Adhd Gardener - all of what you said. Spot on
Been down this road with a women I fell in love with. It was hard. Watching her be unfaithful with other men was a killer. She was a intelligent girl and took no medication. Her whole family denied her being ill.
I would suggest a post from the partners perspective. In my case my partner was bipolar II. She had a trusted 3 friends who guided her through the relationship poorly. As the partner I new little of this until it was too late. Ends up 5 in the relationship is too hard. Love sometimes is not enough to make a relationship work. It takes those trusted 3 to be on board with both halves to offer the necessary support.
Likely run next time I encounter the red flags in a girl like this. Hearts bleed for a long time. Let’s not go there again.
Are you still with her ?
Happily, my husband of 40 years is my biggest champion! Thank God for such a compassionate person!
your so lucky
Amy Harvey ❤️
This was the most helpful and amazing video. As a spouse of someone with BP, this truly touched me. Thank you for sharing this.
You do a great job explaining what this is really like
I agree💯
@@peterCalabria3 I have mixed feelings about this statement what comment should I say I do believe that's a market to make money for pharmaceutical companies all of these various diseases but I've lived with a woman my wife for 15 years with this disorder it is real whatever it is that's all I have to say
Can you tell me how you coped
Good
"My wife had really invested alot of herself into me over the years so, my way of investing in her was the committment to keep myself well as best as I possibly could"
HUGE.
Thank you so much for making this. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when my husband and I were first dating. The day I got diagnosed, my family called him over for dinner and explained everything to him, saying that Bipolar Disorder was very common in my family. We also gave him a list of symptoms to watch for, saying to tell myself and my parents if I was symptomatic. We then signed a contract, saying that I gave all of them permission to tell me if I was symptomatic, and vis versa.
*Edit: We must have done something right because we are coming up on our one year anniversary of marriage!
Congrats, I hope you are still fine?
Wonderful communication and openness from day 1. That gives such a great, strong foundation to build a life together. Well done!
My wife just sent me this video after a manic episode. I truly needed to hear this. In my manic episodes I can be very mean and hateful and I tend to take for granted the effort that my wife puts in for helping me. For some reason, my PolarHead sees her as an enemy. I just wanted to thank you for getting this video out to people like me and my family. We are going to try some of the principles that you have applied to your marriage.
Thank you x's a million and keep producing quality content!
Cheers from Atlanta!
Omg that's my Bf he sees me as his enemy too......7 years together and 2 Kids
I thank my wife for sending me this video and I thank you for making it.
If you dont mind me asking, does she have bipolar disorder? I'm the one who has it in my relationship and thinking about sending this to my boyfriend so he can somewhat understand better.
Poetry Falcon - send it to him. He will appreciate it.
I just sent it to my husband of 20 years, I’m bipolar and things are are bad rn. This video is a blessing xx
I not only lost the love of my life before I was diagnosed, but I also lost my relationship with my daughter and consequently my granddaughter. I'll never get my husband back, but I hope the relationship with my daughter may someday be healed. Thanks for being here.
My wife as bipolar disorder and we are struggling. Your absolutely right about the spouse losing themselves.
I’m in same boat just starting to loose myself
My wife is Bipolar type1
I’ve found myself getting lost recently and I’m still shaken from it.
She’s had lymphoma for 4 yrs and has had bipolar for yrs(just recently diagnosed). My mental state is fatigued and so drained from this. I know that bi-polar is incurable and there’s nothing that I can do. All I can do is remain supportive until I can’t anymore. It’s like being cuffed to a rollercoaster and not being able to get off.
Same here, she has been on the meds for almost 2 months now and is still moody and irritable, how long does it take to fully recover, sometimes I dont think I can handle it any more.
Same here my friends .
I don’t no what to do no
Wow this is me I just moved into an apartment and I know my wife needs me. This is so hard to deal with I know My mother in law cannot be the support system my wife needs consistently so now I get to deal with this separation knowing my wife needs me but I myself got depressed and almost gave up on my marriage. I was at a point that I needed a break. I felt like no one understands what the person without mental illness it a tough road but I would do it all over again my Love for my wife is that Strong.
I cant see straight from ugly crying. my husband has BP and things have been so hard. I truly appreciate what you do and please do not stop sharing your amazing story. Alot of people need to hear what your channel shares and Idk I know it saved me before and is saving my marriage now
Thank you for sharing this. I needed to hear how other wives are managing a bipolar partner. When my partner starts his symptoms it’s so painful.
Omgg I m really crying from this video my marriage needed this today thank you
God bless you brother, I have a bipolar girlfiend who I love soooooooo much, but sooo much, you have no idea. Its tough but you are right, she really knows how to love!! with patience and God´s help we are advancing little by little.
😭😭😭😭😭 same here bro.... we can't give them up
keep up the good work. God bless.
My husband has learned over the years When to give me space, and that its not about him when i feel a certain way.
I dated someone bipolar and this was so helpful. This was the entire relationship. I decided to put me first and gave an ultimatum
@@Startupsandsushi thank you 😊
Thank you for posting this. I had 18 years of marriage, total 21 years with him. I finally divorced in 2017. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the damage. Something in me died that I can’t get back. He refused medication. I spent most of my life with him,it’s been tough to rebuild my life. My entire existence was about him, his needs and our son. I neglected myself completely, lost my physical and emotional health. Not only was he bipolar but our son had special needs. I don’t remember who I was before meeting him.
This is exactly how I feel but we are still married he tells me he loves me but is not in love with me . And won't leave me I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells. I've been with him for 11 years and hes 11 years older then me hes all I know we have 4 kids together and I feel like I'm stuck I love him so much but I'm tired and I'm becoming mentally drained
@@brokenbutnotdestroyedwalke8137 I'm walking on eggshells every day as well. It is exhausting.
I am currently in this situation and it's difficult. He won't take his meds and we also have a son diagnosed with "extreme bouts of aggression accompanied with mood dysregulation" because son is to young for an official BP diagnosis. I'm at my limit
broken but not destroyed walker Drained and broken are how they leave you.
Diana Peters My heart goes out to you. I beg of you to take measures to care for yourself. I destroyed my adrenal system staying to stressed. He tormented me and I have a child who has hearing impairment, life threatening food allergies and LD.
This was such a power and healthful video. My husband decided to walk away from the marriage to look for someone who can understand him better than the work I was doing. His ups and downs where definitely the hardest part of the marriage.
Mine too.
Why did he walk,,? Was it to spare you or he was not able to take your "help"
@@rayvine6792I would like to know more...facing similar thoughts
This is helpful. You're clear, concise, and succinct. Your compassion for the community and self awareness demonstrated is such a good example for us with and without BPD. You are addressing your personal experience and specific topics. That is so helpful! The community is being helped more than you know by your voice. Please keep posting more videos. It's more helpful even if things are repeated because the tips and suggestions need to be reiterated anyways. Plus, the information reveals different key tips each time that it's watched. Please create and post more videos. We really appreciate it. L. Vorst, LLMSW
L Vorst Thank you so very much for taking the time to post such a wonderful kind comment. I am so happy about the channel growing and the potential to help so many people. My goal starting this channel was to help as many people as I possibly could so your words really do mean a lot to me. Very warm welcome to the channel and please keep stopping back by to learn more with me :-)
Welcome to the polar warrior club!
We've been together for 41 years and counting. My wife and mother of 9 boys and 3 girls was diagnosed in 2007. It was difficult to say the least. But our faith in God and each other pulled us through difficult times. Our children are very close to us particularly their mother. She's my hero. God bless you brother 🙏💪🤞
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My husband has been my strength in my mental illness journey, and I am truly grateful that God put his locker next to mine back in high school. I believe many people experience symptoms of bipolar disorder because of the stress they are under due to relationship problems with people in their lives, bad dietary habits of eating unhealthy foods, lack of exercise, and abuse of substances (cigarettes, alcohol and drugs) . I believe the road to wellness requires you to find a balance of health by discovering your inner strength to understand and do what is necessary to maintain it. Life is a hard journey, but it is easier when you have someone you love and trust to help you along the way.
I eat healthy never abused alcohol, drugs or cigarettes and I still have bipolar disorder.
Avoiding drugs and alcohol will help immensely but it might not be enough to cure someone.
Incredible. People need to see this. Going to share and thank you for what you're doing for the BP community.
PLEASE share it. I'm so glad this helped and I hope it helps many couples out there =)
My boyfriend just got out of the mental hospital and doing outpatient for alcoholism. We watched this video together last night. Our relationship is identical to you and your wife's. He asked today for couples counseling. We want to be the 10 percent that makes it.
Thank you for this video!
Update: EVERYTHING WENT SOUTH!
BUT! He is in an alcohol treatment center for the next couple of months. That was the biggest obstacle. Hopefully he stays sober and we can have a better life
I can't even maintain friendships due to my bipolar and other psych issues. I really admire marriages etc that survive through one person having psych diognoses
fiona scheibel To be honest I feel that way sometimes too. But now I’m learning that anything in this life is still possible as long as I stay on my meds and to manage my mental health better
I can't believe how strong your wife is. I think im breaking up with mine. He refuses to get treatment, thinks I'm the most horrible person on earth half the time, constantly screams at me. But blames me instead of understanding that its his own symptoms. I don't think i can do this anymore
Thank you for this. I do feel like I die a little of myself everyday. I feel lost. I don't know who I am anymore....wife, caretaker, mother. Are roles I can do and do do. But I don't know me anymore. I appreciate your insight.
Well done you , you are a very brave man. I suffer from G A D and it can suck the life out of you. Where you are week you are stròng , out of your weakness comes your strength. I alwas prah to St
Dipina she is the patron St
For mental illness. I wish you all the best for your future God bless you and stay safe. You are the master of ur own thoughts.
🥰🙏❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
It's so tough I know. God bless x
My wife is bipolar, we've been together for ten years now. It's getting worse the past few years. I think we are not going to be together anymore.. It hurts because I love her with all my heart.. It hurts because of the stuff she says to me... Feeling lost has been a normal feeling now...
@@shawnkiesel5349 hope you’re doing OK mentally and I’m sending positive energy to you. I would love to know how things are unfolding if you have a minute to reply.
I am so grateful for this video- so many articles don’t recognize the emotional devastation the spouse experiences. Thank you
My partner has not been diagnosed with bipolar depression, but it runs in her family and she has all the symptoms. We have been fighting to make the relationship better but nothing was working. One night about a week or so ago, randomly, this video came up on her UA-cam so she clicked on it since it's been on her mind and she made the pivotal choice to get better. Your videos have helped me stay sane when her moods are down. It's a constant reminder that battling this everyday is not easy. Just wanted to say THANK YOU!!!
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your story! Having a correct diagnosis opens up a whole world of treatment plans and resources. If you're interested, Rob is offering personal coaching sessions on Patreon! Take care.🙏
Dianna
Polar Warrior Team Member
For additional content consider joining us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I'm bipolar diagnosed at 17 and that's also when I met my husband. We've been married for 11 years. We have a very codependent relationship like you were decribing. Thank you for this video it was really eye opening in reference to my husband. We have some work to do.
Hi Emily! I'm soooooo glad the words helped! This wasn't an easy video to make but I think that total transparency is so important so people can see things that go on that most don't talk about. Please keep me posted on your progress and welcome to my channel! My heart goes out to you guys and I hope you have many more amazing years together. It's a rough road, but the more we learn, the more successful our relationships can be. Hope to see you back on my channel again in the future if a video speaks to you. Take care =)
-Rob Whittaker - Polar Warriors
U r lucky as you still have yr wife . My wife left immediately in a hurry with her belongings cos of my bipolar.
@@peterlhs18 wooow, I'm sorry to hear that, but remember YOU ARE #1! We can only control (or try our best) ourselves. BEST WISHES!
@@peterlhs18, I am so sorry to hear that.
The codependency is so real.....
This is really good information. I sent this link to my wife. I have been trying to send her Bipolar info every now and again but she just doesn't read the articles or watch the videos. But I am still hopeful she will take it a bit more serious and stop seeing me as a monster.
Trevor Field thank you so much for the kind words Trevor. Believe me, I have done my fair share of damage to friends and partners before. Sometimes they get over it, and sometimes they don’t. I think it is wonderful that you are aware and trying to do something about it. I support that so very much and it’s just part of the polar warrior journey. Stop back by my channel anytime. You are very welcome here :-)
It is amazing how different people can have the exact same reaction and life...We are at the getting help point....because 10 years has taken its toll. It is hard for me to trust.. I'm so proud of you and you have gave me strength to keep fighting for my husband I hope he can make progress like you and so proud of you and your wife
You have helped me so much this week I have been in a bad mixed state and terrified. You have so much wisdom and a calm voice. YOUR intelligence is so illuminating thank you for your on going vigilance in educating and being there for support . keep the good fight.
I am the bipolar one in my marriage. We have been married for 27 years. At first it was difficult but with luv and lots of honest communication we have found sum peace in our relationship.
You are a strong individual my friend. You have done what most with this disease can not. You are so calm and clear headed. My best friend suffered from bipolar and addiction. He refused to get help or get clean. In a fit of rage he punched his dad in the face and got caught with weed later that evening. The judge gave him 2 years behind bars. It’s been 3 months since we have had contact and I miss HIm a lot. Thanks for this video.
This is just what I needed. I feel so bad for my husband now. He definitely is an amazing guy.
Love is so strong.. it sounds like you really love your wife and she REALLY loves you 🤗 I love how your love for each other overrides the illness. You definitely fought the illness!
I keep watching this Video over and over again looking for a sign of hope and that my partner gets better soon 😢❤ Thank you Rob
This video helps me understand why my spouse does some of the things he does. I resist heavily, but later realize it was for the best.
This is so important and great to hear someone else is bipolar too...thank you
I'm a 37 year old grown man and 2 minutes in you have me in tears my man. I can relate to what you are speaking of on so many levels, wasn't married but a beautiful 11 year old daughter a former toxic relationship "we've just began 3 weeks ago to actually meeting" without any arguments or disagreements for the first time we actually listened to each other without judgement. My behaviour cost me the relationship not sure if we'll ever be back together but I live in hope maybe one day. She never deserved what I put her through. Can't thank you enough for the information I've got within a few hours on your channel this evening, other people who have to live with this condition along with their family and friends will know just how honest and upfront you're being when you speak about what you have and are going through. An absolute legend taking this shit head on and controlling the condition and putting procedures and checks in place so the condition can't control you.
Peace and love
Wow...amazing im so happy to see this video ....my husband he is a bipolar he does alot of things that hurts me alot but im always forgiving him even if he doesn't show me that he cares i still know inside him theres this beautiful man i fell in love with two years ago it kills me but i will never give up on him as i love him too much he is my all.
So many tears I'm living in your wife's shoes and listening to what you're sharing and it's my life right now. I'm always in the wrong.
I'm bipolar, but this is how I felt trying to support a husband with C-PTSD which also includes manic and depressive episodes. I don't have psychotic breaks, but he does. I tried every way I could think of to make it better, but nothing I could do helped him, and he refuses to get help from professionals or anyone else. He was not understanding or accepting of my own struggles and would get harder and harder on me the worse my struggle got. Trying to make it work over 10 years eventually almost killed me. After considering it for over 6 months to make sure my decision wasn't influenced by my condition, I knew it had to be over for the sake of my own health. I know that relationships will continue to be somewhat of a struggle for me and that I need to remain vigilant to mitigate my issues. But I found that spending time around someone else who naturally brings out the best in me rather than the worst, wants to understand me, is willing to work through it with me, and feels like a source of stability (without special effort to do anything for me) is making a big positive difference in my wellness that everyone including my therapist notices.
I’m grateful for you sharing and making this.
I watched this the first time my Husband was diagnosed a year and a half ago.
Now that I listen to this again, it makes more sense. Going through his first big episode.
Still need time,love and patience for the healing process to take place.
I’m fortunate that he is not someone who skips or stops his meds. But the mania is going to be around a little while longer, till everything settles.
I miss him, the old him. It is coming back slowly.
I just wonder how much will return and how much damage is done with my shut down states and inner trauma child.
Thank you once more. I really appreciate you and your wonderful wife, that you can use in your testimony, on your road to healing.
It gives me hope.❤
Was with a bi-polar ex-fiancee 5 years, yes many of these things are true. But it ended miserably for us. At least it was a honest reflection of the hardships of both involved. Cheers.
My husband only just recently received a diagnosis. I’m learning so much from your channel. It’s a very lonely road but I remind myself that it’s not personal. We are hopeful that he will get the might combination/dosage of meds and your videos are a huge help!! 💜
Hi thank you for this clip i am so guilty of verbally and emotionally abusing my husband especially when i am going through mania.
He really supported me and i am one of the blessed ones with that kind of support.
Once again thank you for making these clips they are really valuable thank you
Hey nice one.... Here I too suffer from bipolar disorder 2. At times its difficult but life goes on....thanks! Ur videos are amazing! God bless...take care!
Great video! It is a great analogy to other relationships. My best friend is bipolar. I didn't realize he was bipolar until our friendship was developing. You can't just walk away from a person because you have learned he has a mental disorder.
It has been 8 long, hard, wonderful years. I have learned a lot about the bipolar condition. And so has my best friend. I wouldn't trade him for the world.
This is really validating to listen to as someone who was married to a person living with bipolar disorder. Thank you for being vulnerable and making this! Unfortunately, my marriage did end because he was not yet at the point where he could admit he had an illness and be serious about treatment even after several hospitalizations and a lot of damage. I was unhappy, of course, and my life was much like the one of your wife that you described. I was willing to work it out if he'd take treatment seriously but he could not at that point (I now know that's a part of the disorder sometimes). I had to leave. I'm glad I did for myself, and, as predicted he did finally recognize and get treatment once I left him. I guess it was the wakeup call he needed but I am forever altered because of my experiences with him. I left for myself first but the relationship was way too codependent and I was not helping him by continuing to put up with his destructive behavior. He needed to pick up the pieces alone and I needed to get to a safe environment to hold on to my own mental health and my own issues with anxiety and depression. Thinking of all those in similar situations and sending light. 🙏🏼 Thank you again, Rob! 😊
Hey there nadia ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now in which he can lend an ear, give advice or answer questions. I think you may benefit from that. Take gentle care.
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community.
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Thankyou. A million times over. I’ve been at my wits end and I will ask him to watch this when he stabilises again. This has given me hope where there was none. Thankyou.
blood criesout Your comment is one of the exact reasons why started this channel. I am so glad that I could be of some help. I really know how hard this illness can be, especially on our partners. I’ve done my share of damage. Timing is definitely so important. When he is stabilized, or just starting to show signs of depression and reaching out, that would be the ideal time to approach a topic. I’d like to recommend a resource to you... It’s a book that will teach you so much about the illness from a partner’s perspective and give you a lot of tools to approach the relationship. I’m not affiliated with the author at all. It’s just a book that’s really helped me and my partners. It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. You can grab a used copy on EBay for a few bucks. Totally worth it I promise. Stop back by my channel anytime. I have a lot of good information here. Let me know if you have any questions.
I pray it gets better for you and yours
Everything in your video is almost exactly what I’ve went and am going through. It’s amazing and shocking, in an enlightened way.
I’m so glad you found the channel and that the video was helpful. We have a really neat group of people here in this community. If you’d like to connect, or need some extra support, there is a link in the video description where I can be reached 😊😊☀️☀️
-Rob
@@PolarWarriors thank you so much Rob.
Hi Warriors! I’m 44 and just got a diagnosis of Bipolar 2 with a side helping of rapid cycling, sprinkled with a mixed state. My wife of 16 years has been through the ringer, but she is still here. I feel bad for all the shit I have put her through (it has been a lot). I’m finally getting on some proper medication and cut down on the self medicating (weed). There is not a big enough present on Planet Earth to give my wife for staying with me when I was such a monster. I will have to try to let her know in smaller ways for the rest of my life.
I have been with my Husband for almost 20 years and I've known he was Bipolar since Day 1. We have never ever broken up and never will. I told him he was stuck with me for Life !! 🥰🥰🥰 We have been thru Hell and Back but we are each others Rocks and Shoulders to cry on !! 🥰🥰🥰
Same here. My husband and I have been married 20 years and he has been Bipolar since day 1. We're really going through it right now since he refuses to medicate (he has been able to function without medication just fine up until now, but his BP is getting worse with age.) The last thing I want to do is give up on him eventhough he makes me so sad and hurt sometimes. I love him more than anything.
@@summergray9481 if he will just try meds, he can do low doses. He might get much better. He needs to do it for himself. I hope he will. Bless you both!
I was finally correctly diagnosed with bipolar type 1 in early 2009, after years of treatment solely for major depression. In late December of 2009, my wife of over 10 years told me she’d been having an on and off affair for several years, she wanted a divorce, and that one of my children was not really mine. The marriage ended, my heart broke, and a huge part of me died.
Over time, I’ve come to the realization that I have very little to offer any woman and that I’ll be single as long as I live. I don’t want to subject anyone else to having to deal with me or risk myself being so terribly hurt again. I push people away, whether it be friends or possible romantic interests, and isolate myself. Having bipolar means a very lonely life for many people, but I’d rather be lonely than ruin other people’s lives.
Wow i am not alone
My husband of almost 10 years was diagnosed with BD2 yesterday after months of turmoil between us. We’re just starting on this journey of getting help. These tips are pure gold!
I have to start building my support system right now because I have been lost in the emotion and episodes over the last year. Any resources that I can educate myself on how to set the boundaries and making a checklist before an episode would be appreciated!
Thank you.
I threw away everyone who ever loved me romantically. I choose to be alone now, I’m not ruining any more lives.
God Texas Trump I’m on the verge of a divorce and have nobody. I understand. I’ve trie everything. I mean everything and I still am not better.
Yup... Same thought here.. Better to stay alone than to hurt anyone else
I can relate to this, every relationship and most friendships ended when I was undiagnosed until a mo th ago at 29...i carry 29 years of regret and shame
Sigh. Thank you for validating what we feel as loved ones about our role in the relationship with the person suffering with bipolar. I’m so happy that you have recognized and are receiving treatment.
I been with the same man for the last 38 years now. And when I met him I was really sick, not just mentally. I had become addicted to pills. He saved my life. And he will not turn his back on me. He said No. And said we are not giving up on you. One day you will be better. I struggle like a many people out there waiting to be diagnosed. I just asked for help 2 years ago. I was not diagnosed with Bipolor 1 until about a month ago. I am struggling alot. It helps to know I can watch your videos and make comments.
My friends say, it's like being on a Roller Coaster. Your videos are informative & are delivered with a calm voice. They help a lot! Keep up the (Great work) creating them. Thanks!
Everyone needs to be loved and appreciated including polar warriors I Love a man with BiPolar❤️ Neb
This was very vulnerable and I so appreciate your story and sharing what worked for you and your relationship and marriage.
I still hear my ex husband tell me he read an article once saying that taking care of a bipolar person was compared to taking care of a cancer patient, and in the moment I was so shocked the article had compared the two, as I watched my aunt pass away from cancer. After this year and finally researching more and listen to more stories I’ve begun to truly understand both sides (being bipolar myself and depressed a lot - isolating myself when I feel down - I remember feeling so guilty that I was holding him back from living a good life and that there would be someone else more fun or stable and better out there for him - so naturally you feel bad about yourself and land up pushing the person you love the most away because you feel guilty and ashamed - and you feel they deserve better) and then to hear his side and how taxing it was on him and that he felt like my care taker - it’s understandable as that’s how it can become like you say when there are no boundaries or communication around how to cope or deal with it. Hugely eye opening. Sometimes I feel that it’s easier to be alone because why would I want to put someone through what I go through alone, it’s hard enough on me why burden someone else. I think both people with bipolar and the people who choose to love and care for a bipolar person are so incredibly special and strong! Lovely to hear some marriages can withstand and make it work and stay together xx
Wow, thanks for sharing all that! It’s awesome to see you reflecting on everything. Relationships can be tough, but it’s cool that you’re figuring things out.
I'm very accessible and happy to answer any questions you have...
Below is a link to my private community on Patreon. It's where you can message me directly and I'll get back to you right away. We can also arrange a phone call if that would be more helpful.
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
-Rob
Can we get an update on how you are doing with your relationship
I’m so glad I saw your comment. I get so many that it’s hard for me to respond to all of them now. Today is actually our eight year anniversary! It’s been the most mature and harmonious relationship I’ve ever had. Thank you so much for asking ❤️☀️☀️
-Rob
@@PolarWarriors thank you for responding it's amazing to hear and gives me hope as I am the one in the relationship with BP
@@PolarWarriors Congrats, God bless, Really happy for you
My husband and I were having a very hard time with me dealing with my bipolar. I have had bipolar since my middle twenties and I am 74 years old now. We have had our ups and downs but I was basically depressed most of the time but able to function. I had three kids, took care of my home and went to college got my nursing degree and worked full- time as a RN . I was also a director of nursing at one time. I would get restless with my jobs after about 5years and find a new job in the nursing field. It seemed when I looked back on these changes of jobs, places, people and patients I took care of, it felt like I got out of my present job before I may have found myself in some trouble with the people I worked with?? Never did until last job. I wrought up a chart on a patient who was doing very well and dated on purpose for a later date. It’s the only one I ever did that before to. I was going into a manic phase of my bipolar and didn’t realize it at that time so I couldn’t explain why I did it. I resigned after that. My boss said she was going to get my license taken away. When my supervisor or boss found out I was bipolar she kept a close eye on me checking out the care I gave and my charts. This mistake was the first one she found in the 5 years I worked there and then resigned. She was quite happy to see me leave. But I did have difficulty reading the changes in my bipolar moods. When I was depressed I worked through it on my job. And when I was manic I felt great until I got that feeling I needed to change jobs.
1. I need to know where to go to find a good group on line to share with.
2. I need all the advice you can give on where to find good information on bipolar and to help myself become more independent, care for myself and help my family to stop controlling me. And I mean with everything. I need a little freedom and respect. I love my family dearly and appreciate them all. I have appreciated their help to keep me out of any trouble I may of possibly gotten into. But I feel I have lost my freedom after I resigned from my job. I never worked again. I lost self respect. Please help me . Message me where I can reach you. Thank you
@sherriebrown1445 Hi Sherri i hope u get this. He has a fb group i believe. I just started watching him myself as I am bipolar also and am looking for tools to help me manage my symptoms better so i hope i get to see u in the group and i pray that u are doing well.
OMG when I started to learn about it I cried. I told my spouse and family the guilt I felt was heavy. But the love and support I have received is amazing! Thanks for the video
Been single for almost all of my life. I’m 40 now, and I had to accept the fact that a relationship is not in the cards for me.
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. For the month of July he is offering free phone calls to patrons. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
That is exactly what my wife told me and has told me several times! I hate that anyone would have to think that about themselves. Especially when I know it’s not true
This video damn near brought me to tears. My wife has Bipolar Disorder and we are currently struggling trying to get her the help she needs...we've been married for about a year and a half now, and before me, she never really had someone that encouraged her to get help...and sometimes she resents me for "making her go through this when she doesn't want to" sometimes she tells me she hates me and that she will never forgive me as long as I make her take meds and seek help..I can't help but think that everything I do is wrong..but her mother, who has dealt with bipolar her whole life and has (for the most part) gotten to a point where she can control it, has been a huge help and tells me I'm doing everything right and that one day she'll thank me...it's just really hard..
Thank you so much Tyler for just being there for someone who experiences life like we do. The fact that you are searching for answers, getting her family on board, and doing what you can is truly a gift to people like me. You are a wonderful person to be so strong and caring. You are absolutely not alone in feeling "like you can't do anything right" sometimes! Please know that is extremely common for our partners to feel like they are walking on egg shells, or just can't reach us sometimes. It just means that the illness is stronger than the person at that moment... The lady you love is still in there - under all those strong emotions that seam to "take us over." There is a book that I'd like to recommend to you that has changed my life and relationships... It's called "loving someone with Bipolar Disorder" by Julie Fast. She is a brilliant author and the information in there will blow your mind. A LOT more will make sense if you can check that out. I hope you all have a peaceful holiday season and stop by anytime to learn more with me =)
-Robert
I'm going through it now. My wife is bipolar and over the years I have pushed her away. We're in a seperation period right now. One day all is well and we agree to work on the marriage, and the next she wants to divorce me over any minor slip up. I'm doing it all, working, taking care of the kids, trying to help her and the marriage. At times she refuses to communicate and says I'm the worse person in the world. It's mentally exhausting.
Hi, Rob offers one on one support on Patreon if you are interested. He also posts more personal information about his day to day struggles like his recent hospital stay. All patrons can contact him directly by private message and he frequently offers free phone calls!!! If you decide to join, you can mention my name and he will give you a free call. Another Patreon exclusive is Rob hosting and moderating weekly support groups on discord! We have many family and friends take part. Take gentle care! 🙏
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
BP myself. Great guy, articulate and putting in words what so many feel already in a non-articulated way. Thanks!
I am thankful you put this out there. There are self help groups all over the United States called Codependents Anonymous, taken off of the Alcoholics Anonymous model but definitely different than A.A. I was going to one of these groups for the past two years, it really helped me. It's important to have a good sense of yourself and realize that you can't change other people but you can set some boundaries for what you will and will not tolerate from your spouse or your kids or your parents, etc. And that's not selfish, it is honoring your feelings and not letting yourself become a doormat to someone. I'm so grateful you put this out on here, and even for people who don't have a bipolar spouse, to have a good marriage takes work, you have to keep communication open and like the old song from the 70s, it's not always going to be a rose garden!!! Thanks
This is so encouraging for me as a spouse to hear. My husband can’t put into words what he feels and sometimes it IS so psychologically damaging that I don’t know what the “right” thing to do is. This has encouraged me that it’s ok to stay. And he really doesn’t mean the horrible things he says when he’s having an episode.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It takes a lot of strength to support a partner through their struggles, and your empathy is truly commendable. I’m really glad the video resonated with you!
I'm very accessible and happy to answer any questions you have...
Below is a link to my private community on Patreon. It's where you can message me directly and I'll get back to you right away. We can also arrange a phone call if that would be more helpful.
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
-Rob
I am glad you have done a vid in relation to partnerships .I think you have a great deal of self knowlede
Tears welled in my eyes at least a dozen times listening to your story. It's incredible how similar it is to mine- and many others, no doubt. Thank you for sharing your extremely helpful and deeply personal feelings- what you are doing makes a difference in the world.
Wow, thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you for this video-also, intentional or not, I loved the lighting you used here. Half lighting your face felt very symbolic in a way. I’m such a visual learner so it helped me focus on what you were saying to see both sides speaking
I have a son that is bipolar. Thank you so much for your videos. This has been so helpful. I did send him your videos. Hopefully he watches. It is so nice to see someone put into words what is happening, it is nice to know we’re not alone. His guilt overwhelms him, maybe hearing your videos can help him understand that it is not his choice but treatment is his choice. Your videos are amazing and my family and I thank you!!!!!!
I cried. My husband is bipolar, his mania leads to psychosis and becomes incredibly hurtful strange unpredictable and impossible to communicate with.
I wish I could meet this guy's wife in person so that I could talk to one person that knows what this is like.
Ja Series my heart totally goes out to you. I know it can be so painful to be on the receiving end of bipolar symptoms. The fear, uncertainty, and just how exhausting it can be. I know that so many couples have no idea what they were getting themselves into because like me, they were diagnosed later in the relationship. Something I didn’t mention, (because I wanted to keep the video a little more constructive) was that the relationship ended due to her choice to be with many other people. If we were still together, I would be more than happy to get you connected. If you are looking to expand your support circle, I have a beautiful community that we started through Patreon. I have many members who are the partner of someone who has bipolar disorder. The community is very solution-based and full of people who are truly doing what they can to seek treatment. It’s a good SAFE place to reach out and not be so alone in your experience. There is a link at the top of all my video descriptions if you’d like to take a look. There’s also a book I would like to recommend that made a huge impact on the success of my current relationship. It’s called “loving someone with bipolar disorder” by Julie Fast. You could find a cheap used a copy online, and there’s even an audiobook version. Bipolar disorder can be so consuming, so I encourage you to please make sure you are taking care of yourself... make sure you have your own private support circle, counselor, and help. Take gentle care and stop by the channel anytime. You are very welcome here 😊🤗☀️
-Rob
I'm in the same situation. It's been 3 years and I am finally understanding why he goes from wonderful to hateful and back again so randomly...I wish you the best.
I am married to a man with bipolar, and yeah, I wish I could talk to someone who gets what that is like. Trying to talk to someone else is usually pretty useless. Well meaning friends say that his moods qualify as 'emotional abuse', which only made me feel more isolated. I am not looking to be the 'wronged party' I just want help figuring out how to help. Keep reaching out, because you aren't alone. Feel free to reach out to me too if you need it.
I also am married to a bi polar man and it is nice to be able to find others to talk to because its just to hard to explain to someone who doesn't understand and just thinks we are having a fight when i wasnt even having an issue until he was. He also self medicates with alcohol and will not seek help so here i am 25yrs later moved my daughter and i out of the house and he kicked out my 20yr old and the dogs. He is all by himself and doesn't think he has a problem or done anything wrong. Such a hard thing i really respect this guy for getting help and telling his story it has really made me feel less alone
@@jenniferquirk3485 madam during a maniac state the person himself doesnt know what to do ...he himself cant accept the fact that he is ill as he feel like he has super natural powers .....its just the feeling and illusion ..but the person feels its all true ...ur mentally elevated to 10 times then the normal state ..give him time and take some time ..pls help him ...he doesnt actually realise what hes doing ... He needs medication ...only u can help him ...for any further assistance ..my watsup no is +919037534537....feel free to contact if required ..i really want to help ...
This sounds IDENTICAL to what my wife and I are going through right now. I'm have Bipolar two and she's tried her best to help me. Over Thanksgiving I had an episode that could possibly end our marriage of 17 years. I'm 43 now and was only recently diagnosed. I feel a little better having seen this. Thanks
I’m so glad I watched this video currently going through this as we speak and at my widths end! This is the hardest thing of my life and I am tired of trying everything
Awww thank you for sharing! Make sure you are taking gentle care of yourself at this time. There is a video I made for friends and family that may help. 🙏❤🌞
- Rob
For additional content consider joining us on Patreon!
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
This video is incredible. I watch it now with tears streaming down my face because I am the partner, and I am at my last ounce. I hope I can get my parter to watch this video and feel that glimmer of hope that I am feeling right now. Thank you so much for sharing.
Kimmie Stone I’m so glad the video was helpful. Take extra good care and stop by the channel anytime 😊🤗☀️☀️
Thanks so much for this, am part of the 10% who will stay in their relationship.
My husband is bipolar n we have been together for six years. He spends all his savings and we have to struggle till he is stable.
Thank you so much for taking the time to do these heartfelt videos. Not only are they really helpful but the forum you have created for so many of us who are, or have been, struggling helps us to connect and not feel so alone. It so easy to think that everyone else has a much better relationship.
My partner has had Bipolar for over 30years. We have been together for 28years, so I guess we've done something right!! But there have been many times when I wanted to leave, when my own health suffered and when I lost control (becoming verbally abusive/yelling etc), not something that is easy to admit.
I had also been in the mental health profession up until 20 years ago, when not surprisingly I suffered extreme burnout and had to leave the profession. It forced me to focus on myself more, and it helped my partner to see me as a human with weaknesses rather than just their caretaker. She was on lithium for many years which did actually help, but sadly it has caused some kidney damage. She started to come off it 2 years ago because of this, which seemed okay for a while but did not give the buffer required to help her cope with the extra stressors/anxieties brought on by the covid pandemic. It was during lockdown last year that a manic episode was triggered. Despite early warning signs I could not get her to listen to me, nor could I get any help from her gp, which led to the police (I'm in the UK) having to come and take her to hospital. Then 3 months later the same thing happened. It was so traumatic and confusing. We eventually discovered that her thyroid was extremely overactive, which had triggered the manic episode.
Now, life is calmer and more stable. She is on Valproate and thyroid is stable. The trauma of the last year has been awful but has taught us many things. My partner is not in denial anymore of the seriousness of this illness. She listens more, is more open to suggestions. The psychiatrist is listening more. I wrote a letter, with my partner's consent, to the psychiatrist to explain my concerns more fully and to make suggestions. It seems to have helped.
Every crisis can be the start of something different, a new chapter. It doesn't feel like that at the time, but when the dust settles there can be another opportunity. I would never have said this a year ago, but wanted to say to others not to give up.
This is the first time Ive shared anything online, so thank you Rob and all who take the time to read this.
Wow! Thank you so much Maria for sharing your story 🙏
@@PolarWarriors ❤
So glad to have found you.
kappy131 Me too! My goal is to help as many people as I possibly can. Comments like yours keep me motivated to keep doing what I’m doing. Very warm welcome to my channel and I hope you will keep stopping by to learn more with me :-)
Polar Warriors Thank you! I will definitely be a regular!
kappy131 Sounds great! I try to post new videos every single Monday, so I will have a new one out in just a couple of days. Just filmed the video today :-)
Your videos are amazing and so helpful to someone who loves someone with bipolar and is learning about it for the first time. I would love to hear more from your wife and her experience going through this from her side. Thank you for being so candid and helping someone who wants to be a better partner and is always trying to improve
I’m so glad the videos have been helpful! Your feedback means a lot to me. I think it’s wonderful that you are spending some of your time here, trying to learn more and bridge that gap of understanding.
I actually had members of my Patreon community submit questions they wanted me to ask my partner and the video is available to members of my Patreon community. There’s a link in the video description if you’d like to check it out. I hope you have a peaceful start to your week and please continue to stop by the channel!
- Rob
@@PolarWarriors thank you Rob, I will. It gives me hope to learn from your recovery.
I'm 19 and am bipolar. I hope this helps me in the future.
It will
Im 14 and bipolar
Got diagnosed 30 years ago, I’ve been with my other half for 19 years, he’s stood by me through everything the mania, the depression, the attitude and anger, the being g useless with money, the utter car crash that is my life, but he’s the only person I’ve been with that I’ve not cheated on, had never been faithful before I met him, he’s out up with so much from me, especially the fact it’s only recently that I’ve actually started to take the bi polar seriously, that there is this thing that affects my life, I’ve got M.S and Crohn’s disease and a titanium cage round my spine and just recovering from cancer, always tried to put my mental health to one side and make it out it wasn’t important ( I should know better as I’m a qualified nurse ) it’s finally dawned on me that I need to sort this out finally, and you have been amazing with these videos, it’s made me realise it’s time to take notice. Thank you
Such a great comment. Thank you for sharing! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord. Would love to have you there!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My boyfriend and I are both bipolar. We have been together for 10 years. He has never been hospitalized and I have been many times. I am always worrying that I am too much for him. I try to take as much responsibility for my own feelings and behaviors as I can. I go to counseling. We both take our meds and avoid drugs and alcohol. So far so good. I am blessed to have him in my life. I think he is happy to have me also!
You're doing everything right....best of luck❤
@CG-sx3no Thanks. I had to go off of lithium after 16 years because my kidneys stopped functioning well. So things are difficult right now. I am still with my boyfriend.
@Catlily5 ...I wish you the absolute best♥️
After many studies there is currently now a Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 back in 2018. I know im not alone but I feel like I am sometimes. My aunt told me to watch your video. So I did and im 100% happy that I did. Being BP2 I don't struggle with the mania. I struggle with hypomania. I have embraced myself and understand that, this is me now. The part where I struggle is helping those around me understand me when I dont understand a whole lot myself as of yet.
Hey there ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. For a very limited time he is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now in which he can lend an ear, give advice or answer questions. Take gentle care.
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community.
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Walking this journey right now, finally getting some answers, thanks for sharing some of your experience
What an awesome video. Thank you for sharing your struggles and success stories. I am just beginning a relationship with a wonderful woman who has bipolar disorder. We have been together for just over a month and last night was the first time I witnessed her beginning to shut down. I was kind and compassionate with her and just reassured her that I wasn't going anywhere. I gave her the time to mentally process without withdrawing from her and leaving her alone to deal with it by herself. After a couple of hours of awkward silence, she began to open up and we were able to have a very good slow conversation. 1 Corinthians 13 is known as the love chapter in the bible. Applying these principles in any relationship is beneficial, but even more so in a relationship where a mental disorder exists.
Hey there ! Rob is available on patreon. You can message him, text or even have a call with him there. He is offering free support phone calls for all patrons right now. I think you may benefit from that. Take gentle care.
Sometimes we all need someone to talk to:
www.crisistextline.org/
teenlineonline.org/talk-now/
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
(H)old (O)n (P)ain (E)nds
On Patreon, you can message Rob directly, get a phone/video call, watch videos that are more personal in nature, and access a great community.
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
My husband fell in love with me and knew that I had severe bipolar depression and we are still together and still fighting to get my manic spells under control. This video gave us some direction when we were in need.
Struggling right now with my family because I’m bipolar type 1. Thank you for this video, I think me learning more into bipolar and my symptoms will help me out!!!!!
Hi @FrizzleFry91! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I know this illness can be incredibly hard to navigate. I'd love to offer any support I can... If it interests you, I have a private community where you can message me directly and network with other people who are going through similar struggles. No pressure of course, but it would be great to have you join us. I'll include a link below:
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
-Rob
It’s amazing. I never thought how hard it was for my partner to deal with my shit. Now I want to get better for him.
AlexanderThePup that’s fantastic Alex! I’m so glad the video had a positive impact like that. I will have a new video out tomorrow and I hope you enjoy it :-)
-Robert
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
You are very fortunate that your wife is smart, loving and understanding enough to work through your situation. So many would just call it quits. It’s wonderful you could work through challenges together. That is what a real relationship is about. Communicating and finding solutions because you love one another and value the relationship. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, for your courage and humility to share your story... I admire your wife for sticking up with you.
I am bipolar 1 and my boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic. We are perfect for each other. We get each other
Wow!
WOW!!!!
You're a shining example to all of us. Thank you so much for being so candid and brave. I was not diagnosed with BP until I was 53. I am 65 now. Looking back, I see that at times my wife of 40 years straightened me out and kept me going. She died last year. Going on is my way of honoring her.
I'm so sorry for your loss! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a support group for patrons only on discord. Would love to have you there!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Thank you thank you thank you!!!! I needed to hear this!! My marriage is falling apart for the same reasons. Maybe this will help.
Mine too but im not gonna give up on him and i hope this video will help
Just left my husband just over a month ago its so hard!
Not sure where the girl went that commented that sge would like to talk but if you see this i would love to talk for sure
I have had mental illness Scince a horrific child hood with bad Deppresion + a serviveour abuse mentally physically now bi polar age 50 with a partner who gets back lash from mood swings ect thanks 4 this video I am not married but this is so so helpful. Shalom. . Bless
Thank you for taking time to help us better understand bipolar. My husband is Bipolar and was diagnosed about 5 or 6 years ago. We have definitely had our ups and downs. We have been together for 14 years. Even got divorced a few years back. Lol didn't last long. We were back together 6months later. We are actually going through a rough spot now. He is in the crashing stage. You videos are very informative and helpful in helping me see and learn more about what he is experiencing and that its not all personal. He isn't one to talk about it much. Thank you again for your time and helping me understand the love of my life better. It has really helped me alot and I hope to be of more help to him by understanding him better in a new way.
I must thank my husband for taking care of my needs as a bipolar and still keep a full time job and Work in his clinic. I have never been hospitalized for bipolar symptoms.My 2 children deserve credit too.