Very helpful session. ‘Now I know what you’re thinking.’ is the actual first line (not truncated) from my book, ‘The World Within’. Thank you for choosing it. Thought I’d give myself a wee mention here as we went on to the residency info (which sounds amazing!) without referencing the writer / genre / author’s name. Really enjoying this feedback, very insightful. Thanks!
I really enjoyed this ... and if the first line (actually the first few pages) doesn't suck me, I'm putting the book in the "donate" box. Many of these opening statements "had me at hello," but I really resonated with the one about the sisters ... "I'll take his heart and brain..." How does one find out more about these authors work? I think you said Lisa Luca.
I'd always understood that gypped was always a slang term for being swindled by Gypsies, or simply tricked or short changed. I don't know if that's 100% correct.
In the line starting with "Last night, while Ghana was sleeping ...'' it is the word ''wicked'' that is the emotive fulcram, I think. That is, what happened is 'of the harsh world, but at it's centre is a child-like awareness that such harsh disregard is not 'what should be,' but rather is 'wicked.' It represents hope of Innocence's resilience.
35:00 "curb" as in you have to curb your addiction of speed, or "curb" as in the curb of the road, which is clever wordplay if speed is speed on the street I guess.
I like the common sense in these critics! Thank you!
I love these first line critiques. I hope I hear about the next one in time to participate. Nice work👍🏼
This was so fun to watch and learn from!
Very helpful session. ‘Now I know what you’re thinking.’ is the actual first line (not truncated) from my book, ‘The World Within’.
Thank you for choosing it. Thought I’d give myself a wee mention here as we went on to the residency info (which sounds amazing!) without referencing the writer / genre / author’s name.
Really enjoying this feedback, very insightful. Thanks!
The 'Ghana' opening is intriguing. I'd really like to know what became of that promising setup...
I really enjoyed this ... and if the first line (actually the first few pages) doesn't suck me, I'm putting the book in the "donate" box. Many of these opening statements "had me at hello," but I really resonated with the one about the sisters ... "I'll take his heart and brain..." How does one find out more about these authors work? I think you said Lisa Luca.
I'd always understood that gypped was always a slang term for being swindled by Gypsies, or simply tricked or short changed. I don't know if that's 100% correct.
In the line starting with "Last night, while Ghana was sleeping ...'' it is the word ''wicked'' that is the emotive fulcram, I think. That is, what happened is 'of the harsh world, but at it's centre is a child-like awareness that such harsh disregard is not 'what should be,' but rather is 'wicked.' It represents hope of Innocence's resilience.
Rebecca Heyman you're a rockstar....
If a manuscript has a prologue, which is considered the "first line"? The first line of the prologue or the first line of Chapter One?
Prologue
assuming you want the prologue to be read..
@@konseptikonrekords Yes
@@konseptikonrekords Thanks.
@@ButterCookie1984 Good luck!
Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward is an excellent example of a memoir that’s Creative NonFiction.
Looking forward to it, Reedsy! :)
The one with abandoned houses could be a tornado came through.
I definitely got the sense of a disaster too. Earthquake would fit too.
I'm pretty sure Aislinn is pronounced Ash-lin.
35:00 "curb" as in you have to curb your addiction of speed, or "curb" as in the curb of the road, which is clever wordplay if speed is speed on the street I guess.
16:44 really enjoyed this line
Welcome Rebecca! From KCMO!
Rhonda K. Gatlin from Boulder City, Nevada
Boulder City near Hoover Dam 1931
At 31:18, wouldn't this be too much telling and not showing?
Well. He read my comment. That was whack. I can't imagine hearing your first line being read by them.
beautiful cat
Zombie school 😄
It's gypped or jipped. When it's spelled "gypped", it refers to gypsy/Romani people (aka Gypsies). It's a con game.