Dr. Dick | Tom Segura Stand Up Comedy | "Completely Normal" on Netflix
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- Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
- Tom Segura talks about the meanest doctor he’s ever visited. He can’t wait to go back. Watch the full stand up comedy special “Completely Normal” on Netflix.
tomsegura.com/
"Are we at a fucking roast?" Can't stop laughing.
For those who understand this short documentary, daily life will turn upside down: The Connections (2021) [short documentary] 💖
Grrr !! LANGUAGE !!ssmtWTF!!!
not exactly what i would call ‘wate loss’ 💀
He's got some of the best pacing when it comes to jokes.
🚚
Well said
He's not very funny. He's entertaining, but not funny.
@@chrishayes5755 thanks for replying with you random response with your seemingly irrelevant opinion.
@@chrishayes5755 that wasnt very insightful. You wrote it, but that wasn't very insightful
"I'm faking injuries to go back to this guy"
Damn, that exploded knee and T-Rex arm looked too real, bro.
That was a straight Family Guy pose he did on the floor.
I imagine them telling Tom he needs to go to the hospital, and he's like "No, I'm going to my primary physician" lmao
Ooh shit bro your a savage lmfao you have me Rollin 🤣🤣🤣
Man whole body broke and he got a glow up in brents face...so much resentment lol
@@SoulxUntamed115 bro went to the hospital and then checked himself out. As a man idk why but I would've done the same.
The face he’s makes when he says “or you’re a cocaine addict” had me crying lmao
What does that face usually mean? Non-native speaker here out of clue.
@@citytianyu the best way I can describe that face is it kind of means like “is there something you’re not telling me?” Haha
"youre the fatest patient ive had all day"
"its 930 in the morning"
Still…
He was pretty fat tho.
*fatttest
Why d’you repeat exactly what he just said without adding anything
@@Bojjk because its a free world, i can do whatever I want.
Tom is quickly becoming my favorite comedian.
After almost a decade of watching and listening to comedians, the four horsemen are Tom, Bill Burr, Anthony Santino, and Louis C.K. They are just so above everyone. Ryan Sickler gets an honorable mention. God damn it I forgot Chappelle. Throw him in there somewhere. Alive comedians obviously.
Jim Jeffries, and Isaac Butterfield are two great Aussie actors
Agreed
@@slaebae3434 Chappelle is king.
Jim Gaffigan and John Mulaney
Plot twist: The doctor knows who Tom is and made a bet with another doctor that he can get mentioned in a stand-up special
That's honestly BiS (Too Good to be True!)
Thats a funny as that routine! Lmfao
INT - 100
Double plot twist: it’s just a bit, and the whole thing never happened
@@ClericalConsequences Wow... Oh my god, I think you may be right... 😳🤯
Thank god you came here to let us all know that the comedian likely made it all up in an attempt to be funny... we almost continued enjoying ourselves under his contrived pretenses... 😱😱😱
Tom I will never get tired of rewatching your stand-up, and listening to YMH. Instant laughter no matter what mood I'm in. Thank you!
@@MattShine11 Completely agree.👍 Love his delivery, topics and sense of humor.
@@foenix8094 u here too aren’t you? Even if you’re hate watching he just took a dub off you clicking the video and leaving comments
@@EthanKorea What? Plz explain.
@@kristinesmart9932 Means the poster is monetizing off of your click and like. It’s fine, it’s what they all do.
@Kristan Dagley A man of Culture I see 😉 ........... ah errr Woman of Culture 😬😄
Tom's doctor seems like the inspiration for the character of Dr. House
Holy shit everything he said sounds exactly like something house would say
He is apparently working under a fake name to avoid going back to prison
or it is the other way around.
#facts
Dr. House is a national treasure. His character & brutal sarcasm was half of what made that show so great. ❤️ 🙌
It's not
I'm falling in love with this comedian. He's special.
special ed...... get it?
Not exactly what I would call ✨weight loss✨ 🤣😂😂😂
Favorite line
As a doctor, I can verify that everything in this bit is either true or something I wish I could say and get away with.
Lmao
Yes
Can you tell us why his muscle enzymes were elevated?
@@froggydoodle808 I mean, between the Olympic-level conditioning and recreational cocaine usage I’m surprised they aren’t higher. Clearly he’s the strongest patient.
I can only imagine that crap you put with. Thanks for service bud.
Every time I see these, I am compelled to go Netflix the whole special
I think thats the point
Gotta get that VPN tho..
Dont do it its a trap
I did...Totally WORTH WATCHING THEM ALL.
@@AssenFrank VPN just makes me wanna cancel my ISP
Paying 3rd Party to Protect me from 1st Party just seems redundant to me...WHY AM I PAYING 1ST PARTY?
Sometimes we need a brutally honest doctor. I had a doctor who told me numerous times I was obese and needed to lose the weight if I wanted to see my kids grow up. Waking up in a hospital bed after flatlining convinced me. 😬 At that moment, I remembered that doctors words clearly! Took me 2 years to lose the weight. But I'm staying alive!😆
as long as you're on top of the dirt and not in it, you're good :)
god bless
Was he right about you being gay also?
You didn't had a mirror?
@@TheAdatto Appearantly not and neither do about 60% of Americans that are over weight and or obese.😆 Then you've got that growing movement of "body positivity" or "fat activist" that out therr trying to convice themselves and the world that being 5'3" tall and 350 lbs is "healthy". So yeah, brutal honesty is needed now a days.
my mouth was agape for a solid minute after the doctor asked "do you want something for your hair" insane
I feel like this is made up. Unless he went to a free clinic for low income people. They’ll disrespect you there.
Of course it’s made up lol
@@spinningbackkick6021 that's 100% made up story.
@@relaxingmusicforyou4208 It's not that odd.
@@spinningbackkick6021 people that work at free clinics do it as volunteer work, it’s usually out of the goodness of their heart that they’re even there
Ok, I'm buying this guy! You don't have to shout all the time and say f-word every second word to be funny. This is the 2nd clip I'm watching. His calm voice surprisingly does the job. Love it!
BIKES
This has got to be one of the best stand up bits i've ever heard
Wow…. Lmao thats sad
@@claudiamarianidamato9499 😂😂😂😂
@@claudiamarianidamato9499 I've probably listened to more than you.
I’m so happy Tom said he’ll keep going back. That Dr. sounds amazing.
It’s a made up story dude
"Do you want something for your hair?"
And now Todd is reading Keeps ads on the pomcast lol
If doctors really do spend time creating these comic scenarios to fuck with comedian patients, you gotta admit its genius !!! If this story is true, Dr. Dick must be a hoot at cocktail parties !!!
My primary care has been my doctor for almost 20 years. My appointment takes roughly 5 to 10 minutes. Then no joke on God we talk conspiracy theories and bullshit for a solid hour. His practice is is another mf town an hour away, I call ahead lmao
The calm delivery of Tom is exceptional!!!
Since I've found Segura's work, I've been able to randomly pick any clip, and laugh my fucking ass off. Tears, befuddlement that someone can be this funny and I've only known of him for like a year...the whole deal. Maybe this planet ain't that bad afterall.
He's done a podcast with his wife for years that's quite hilarious, he's one of the GOAT's
I've just found him too. Made my day from hell so survivable. Maybe humanity might not be all bad.
Lucky enough to see Tom a few years back live in LA, been a huge fan ever since.. Come tour the UK some day soon please fella! Ive been doing groundwork for you, ive shown your videos to everyone i know!
i dont think walking upstairs to show your parents is enough people lol
@@antdel2726 Yeah so it took me all of 2 minutes, but I did my fucking bit man! 😂🖕🏼👍🏼
You from the UK and went to la ?
@@augustvergara6878 yes... on a big metal bird in the sky..😁
@@dstar8487 I meant like how that's kool how far you traveled to see him
I love all of Tom's stand up. Him and Chappelle are my favorite stand up comedians ever.
Same tbh
Agreed
And Burr
And Louis Ck
Can't forget Josh wolf
Tom Segura is hilarious....one of the funniest comedians to date
You are now my absolute favorite comedian! Thank you Mr. Segura!
I like this guys low key, casual humour and this vid also reminded me that I really should get a doctor and get some sort of medical history happening. Dammit
8 month since you wrote this! Did you seen a doctor already?
@@WilliamTGM Nope! Haha 🤒🤕🤢
I just had a physical after not having one since the 90s and it’s no big deal. Do it! My stuff is all Ok and it’s a relief to know that.
I’ve seen this bit so many times and I still always laugh. I would love to have that doc lol
High muscle enzymes is a large muscle injury or rhabdomyolysis, rhabdo for short, in my book. Never thought someone could make a joke with that lol.
Thank you, I was going to Google it
They need the part 2 for this, it's so much funnier but u need this one for it to be as funny
I’m positive that I’ve shown this part of Segura’s skit to more people than any other video on UA-cam.
His First 48 bit is a personal favorite to show others
Just saw him live Wednesday night. He is definitely in my top three all-time favorite comedians.
Don rickles as your doctor now that would be hilarious! And the roast part killed me! 🤣😂
Delivery is spot on...🤘🤘🤘
I mean I'm sure the doctor saw you're name and was like "I'm definitely gonna fuck with him" 😂
I just found a new comedian to follow. This guy had me in tears. Is like a mix of Jerry Seinfeld and Steven Wright 😂
Jerry isn't funny at all. Don't degrade Tom like that.
Getting roast by your doctor is another level😂😂😂😂cuz he knows things about that you don’t and can destroy you
Love these re uploads. That was a great special if y’all haven’t seen the whole thing.
He hasn't put out a bad special ever lol. All of them are on point so is the podcast. Looking forward to Timmy and his old man banging out a stripper.
I had a GP when I was a kid who was the rudest person I'd ever met, until I discovered specialists. My cardiologist said "I can't do anything. Go home and get your affairs in order." That was 20 years ago.
Are they in order yet? I mean c’mon it’s been 20 years…
@@TheAlStewartArchives Nope. I'm lazy. Lol
I have had some VERY rude doctors (in various fields) soooo, I can relate to this 😅🤦🏻♀️
LMAO I had an ER doctor like this once. I've never been verbally assaulted on so many different levels while sitting in the ER with a broken humerus, but when the guy asked me what pain meds the nurse went to get me and I told him, he goes "oh no that's the baby stuff" and went and got me oxycontin, I realized this was the guy I needed. I'll gladly break another bone if he's still practicing. what a guy
Out yourself some more. When they find out you are pill hunting, they treat you like trash.
"I'm faking injuries to go back to this guy"
That explains the basketball incident lmao
When you have a real life Dr. House as your primary.
Dr. Vincent Boombatz, MD is his primary care physician. For those of you wondering.
Boom batz lol
I tell ya! He got the wrong doctor that vinny boombatz!!
Only just discovered this comedian and man Ive been missing out!
He's absolutely hilarious. I just watched him talking about Steven Seagal.....aww man....🤣😂
0:40 I practice medicine in a busy ER. I can totally confirm this!
unless the story is hilarious which in ER most are
Who cares
Such a great story teller
God I laugh so hard it hurts on all his videos. He is amazing.
As a 5’3 woman- I feel like a toddler 75% of the time
Why are chairs so tall
Could be worse. I'm a guy and about that tall. I have Kevin Hart's specs. Fortunately my sense of humor is not as bad.
Because us grown ups designed them for ourselves lol.
Get you a jetpack or a six foot 3 dude or woman to gently pick you and place you in your chair. If you've a sense of humor. Just know I'm joking. But serious get a jet pack cause jet packs are less complicated
These new trendy chairs are tall EVEN FOR ME and I'm 6'2". I never even thought about how women and people shorter than me handle them.
@@colin641 I'm 6'2" and these trendy new chairs especially the bar style ones are tall even for me.
Plot twist: Tommy Buns' doctor is Dr Steve. "Fluuuuid".
He never told us about the muscle enzymes, we need to know.
Rhabdomyolysis
The muscle enzyme is Creatine Kinase or CK for short. For the rest of this comment I shall refer to it as “Louis CK”. Louis CK lives inside us - in our hearts, minds…. muscles, kidneys etc. Unfortunately a high Louis CK isn’t very specific and can’t diagnose anything. You could have ‘muscle meltdown’ (rhabdomyolysis) from over-exercise for example but you might also have a heart attack, even kidney failure… Oooor it could just be cocaine. Or AIDS. Not a doctor.
@@Platesmasher That was great thank you
@@jordandraper5466 You're welcome
@@Fisharefriendsbish Mercy bow chicken coop
"Are we at a fucking roast or something?"
Rolling 🤣
Oh my God Tom that was my exact experience when I last went to the doctor. My doctors always roast me. Do we go the same doctor or something?
Bro literally had Dr. House
Been rewatching House lately and I was picturing Dr. House too.
Damn, my VA doctor must have went to the same medical school as your doctor. Got a two hour lecture about my weight and young age even though I was being seen at the clinic just so I can get a referral to get glasses at the VA hospital.
I once had a doctor walk in the room and immediately say "What's wrong with your face?" with a concerned look! I have had my nose broken dozens of times, but still lol!
I **LOVE** Your "Old People" Skit! As a Segura fan, I'm ashamed I never watched that until recently.
If you haven't seen Old People, and you like Tom, shame on you!
0:33 Same goes for EMTs/Medics, I asked a patient "whats hurting you today?"
Goes on a rant about his wife and family conspiring to kill him*
*BIKES!*
It's 9:30 in the morning 🌄
OMG I’m scaring my dogs I’m laughing so loud!
This dude is fVck'n hilarious!
It’s so crazy that Bert is even fatter then Tom was in this special.
Wow cool story bro
Even crazier that Bert is also more funny in this special and he isn't even in it
Of course he is, Brent Krishna is the fattest man to have ever walked the earth
When was this. Tom looks huge here
The bit about telling stories is 100% true. I would love to tell patients to shut up and get to the point, there’s 20 people behind you.
Tom dresses like a step dad going to a parent teacher conference.
😂😂😂
Tom and Dave Chapelle are probably my two favorite story tellers comedian 😄
Doc: goes hard in the paint
Tom: damn
His description of telling stories to the doctor is accurate for IT work too.
I love swinging my feet off the side of the tables. It makes me feel like a kid again.
One time I went to see my dr and he’d gotten different tables with these long sides, so I couldn’t swing my legs. That was the last time I saw that doctor.
((He retired from practice. BUT STILL. 😂))
i love this guy
I often listen to stand up comedy. I rarely laugh. This is hilarious.
This is Tom’s best ever bit
That was hilarious. I needed that laugh, thank you
This guys got the perfect amount of humor
My doctor said to me " you are 143, what are you doing about that?" And I just
Looked in shock because I just had a baby a few months before that,, my 6th baby.. and my healthy weight is only 10 lbs less.
My grandma went to the doctor last week. She's 85 years old and I usually have to be in the room with her because she can forget things. Doctor walks in, first thing out of his mouth directed towards my grandma, "Wow, having a bad hair day, huh?". She was extremely insulted and neither of us knew how to react other than never visiting that doctor again.
bet she’s going to remember that 🤣
@@SYL3RR Savage 😂
Best doctor ever!
Imagine there’s no Burt, it’s easy if you try.
This dude is one of my Top 20! Maybe even Top Ten!
Top 19 for me. Tom Segura is a riot 😂😂😂😂 I ❤️ Him.
Ya know, like there are so many. Greg Giraldo, George Carlin, Cheech and Chong, Dave Chapell, Eddie Murphy, Redd Foxx, Moms Mabely , Steve Martin, Martin Short...Oh MY, what a List!
I find it hilarious that most of the people in the audience have no idea who Don Rickles is.
Tom had been given so many great things in life...like his dad no.1 , his mom , and his ability to make things funny , etc... I envy his life , and I'm a cool guy so 🤷
This bit is so good I'm watching it again I don't care loll
This is tom's best bit. It's so good
Anyone know if he ever got his celiac disease diagnosis? Everything I've seen from this routine sounds like symptoms most doctors usually miss.
His Doctor was probably Indian. They are the best. No bullshit. Straight to the point. I love em
Dislikes are from that doctor and his family
This is spot on in many ways.
I bet that Louis CK is looking down at Tom and smiling! Keep' em high and tight
Uh.. He's not dead.. Perhaps his career is, but come on man! 🤣
RIP Louie 😔
@@Drgluee ongoing Dave Chappelle joke.. Louis "died" in that terrible masturbation accident.
@@Drgluee and he's fine. Still did "Sincerely"
@Cameron Mcgann it's a joke dude. I'm a Louie fan
Greatest comic of all-time, no question or debate
Tom what ended up being the deal with your muscle enzymes?
High muscle enzymes are a sign of inflammation. If there wasn't an injury then high muscle enzymes point towards heart problems.
@3:22. When it's 4:57 pm and the phone rings as you are gathering your things to leave.
All this video did was remind me how broke I am, because I haven't seen a doctor in well over a decade
PREACH!!
Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to live in Canada. I could go to the doctor all day everyday and wouldn't cost me a nickel. Most times I don't even pay for my medication, depending on what they are.
The only time I went to the doctor in my adult life is when I was pregnant
1st time I've seen this comic and he is off the charts!!!
I imagine Dr Cottle with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Sounds like his bedside manner 😄
Yasssssss!
I love Dr. Dark, nurse Dark humor. That's hella better and awesome. You can tell who worked 3rd shift/late night to mornings. ❤️🤗🤣😘 Much respect!
I told my doctor that the thing I do best is sleep.. He said, “I thought eating is what you do best!” I can’t wait to go back.
The docs got a good point though man. 😂
I was roasted by my doctor today,
And someone reminded me of this skit.
My annual checkup 2022
"weights trending up man"
Then on the way out im waiting by the elevator and he says
"the stairs are right here"
I damn near died laughing. (He's a pretty fit dude)
this is the best doctor ever
Kinda like House MD, all kinds of useless stabs in the dark.