In the USA, when most people worked as farmers, the larger the family, the better. It was common for all adult children to take care of the elderly that could no longer work. This is true for most developing economies.
I broke up with the love of my life over these same reasons. Best decision I've ever made. I'm here for retirement, I'm not her family's social services, wallet, or servant.
Its a big Negative ! To say the least !!! My Wife takes on a whole lot more than any Western woman I know ! Its a punishment in its own right !!! Undeserved Punishment !
Filipino family culture produces the Filipina attributes that western men crave. It goes together. American culture produces the women that expat men are fleeing. You don't get both. Elsewhere on YT a 60 something American man married to a young Filipina (24 y) had a stroke and told his wife that he understood if she needed to move on because he thought he would not be able to support her. But she told him that if he couldn't take care of her and their daughter, then she would get a job at a call center and provide for them. Though his American doctors gave him 6 months to live, she nursed him and loved him and he regained a lot of his function and is still living and enjoying life today years later. That kind of loyalty is also the product of that culture.
The Family you create is MORE IMPORTANT than the family you came from. If more Filipono's realized this, the poverty of the whole country would be reduced overtime. NOTE TO ALL EXPATS, make sure you use your correct head when diving into a relationship with a Filipina. You worked your but off to retire in peace. Not to become a ATM machine. Great video by the way. Great info.
You said all of the things we foreigners are thinking. And I'm glad it came from a Filipina. Because when we say it, we sound judgmental. Westerners are taught that MEN are bread-winners. Priority is wife and kids. In-laws who beg are shunned. Good video. Keep bringing us more harsh truths like this.
I married a breadwinner, endured supporting her family for 15 yrs even to the point that she prioritised her family over her kids that was the straw that broke the camel back for me.. and in part lead to our divorce.
Hello My Conservative Lady Friend. I can't thank you enough. For your insight into the family dynamics of the Philippines. It was a little hard to understand. Until you clarified it for everyone. I'm in The USA 🇺🇸. So it was harder for me to understand until now. Thank you again ❤
I really appreciate your understanding, intelligence and wisdom on the Filipino culture and helping me to understand it better as I grow closer to my Filipina. She’s the youngest of 11 siblings and has always been the breadwinner. She helps them, I help her. She’s also a business owner and has her own vehicle to get around town without my help. God bless your channel.
She only mentioned one thing, a single commandment from the 10 commandments, that literally every person on the planet as heard whether or not they are Christian. For that to be impressive to you... Holy smokes
Thank you for saying this out loud ! I'm seeking a Phillipeana life partner and the first discussion we will have is I nor she will do this ! This very behavior keeps the whole society in poverty. I do not believe in a hand out (with few exceptions) but I do believe in a hand up. Ask me for free money the answer is NO, ask me to "invest" show me your plan to pull YOURSELF up by your bootstraps entitlement mindset is a mental disorder NOBODY owes you ANYTHING !
As a native of Borneo our cultures are similar to the Filipinos but due to modernation most of us has long abandoned that negative culture of the so-called bread earners..and that's makes everyone work harder for their own family..
Hopefully, no one will crucify you in the comment section. But the video is spot on. The Bible says once an adult, twice a child. Help the kids and care for older people, which reverts to child-like ways. Help adults in a case-by-case situation. Most importantly, when I was single and dating, I approached this topic after the third date of any relationship. I dated to find a wife, and our alignment of Faith, Family, and Finances was critical in advancing to a future together.
Thank goodness I am finally done with that.. I am the eldest daughter but my younger siblings are all settle and doing well with their own lives.. There are a few extended family who asks help sometimes but it's not too bad as when I was working abroad.. Everything is good now and I can do the things I want to do now without feeling guilty.. 😊🙏
You are above and beyond of all the trash existing in the Phil. UA-cam field. You are intelligent, articulate,educating and factual. Thank you for your work. Stay above the swamp. :)
that's all well and good, except the usual expat is living in their country which makes her culture and tradtions (C/T) dominate. Ok fine, you do a 50/50 split on C/T. Which C/T norms are your prioritizing and which ones are you willing to sacrifice for her half of the equation. Her, supporting her family will probably rank very high on her needs. You can't choose C/T norms that only benefit you.
You're making an assumption and I resent it. I see what you're trying to say but I stand by what I said. Supporting their typically large families is simply not fair to the foreign husband. @@markdsm-5157
@@markdsm-5157I respect your opinion but supporting their typically large families is unfair and causes deep resentment on the part of the foreign husband.
This doesn’t have to be a problem and was never an issue with us. My wife helped them to help themselves. She refused to be a revenue stream but did help them become independent.
Yes, and another more important reason for poverty in the Philippines is that the wealthiest 1000 families in general, and more specifically the wealthiest 100 families in particular, OWN the vast majority of the wealth in the Philippines. Everyone else (that is at least 110 million people) are left with the much, much smaller amount of ownership.
The US has people with hundreds of billions of dollars. What kind of person would even say this? Do you not know that it's the same or even more unbalanced in other countries? Wake up and learn about the world.
I’m the oldest daughter of nine. For me it’s an honor that I took responsibility for my parents financially. Is makes me feel joy and is a blessing to my heart. I know everybody’s situation are different. I’m blessed more than my other siblings and of course I always think myself first and my own family, make sure I secure my financial and stability first. My husband trusted me how to handle our finances and how I help my siblings since my parents are gone. He doesn’t mind me helping my siblings with boundaries . Good insight ❤😊
Did you take responsibility or did he? If you don't work or earn, then the financial burden is all on him for YOUR sake. Be careful with that (if true), at some point he may begin to resent it, and you.
@@JamesHickman-g5c I did and I work every day. I never ask money from my husband is all mine. I never asked my husband money ever in 28 years of our married and even sometime my husband offers money to help my family but I don’t accept it. I know how to fish and I bring plenty of fish. I’m the type of woman that I don’t spend someone’s money if I don’t earn. I know it’s weird and is my husband. His money is mine and my money is his too. but that’s not me. He gave me money for the house expenses but my own personal expenses I don’t. But hey it’s not me. So he doesn’t resent me or I don’t resent him either. Thanks for asking.
@@randyfournier8299 oh I don’t mind helping in the right way. It’s also a blessing when you help. That’s why boundaries and top love is important. Thanks for your concern.
In the USA, when most people worked as farmers, the larger the family, the better. It was common for all adult children to take care of their elderly parents when the parents could no longer work. This is true for most developing economies.
I would suggest it's dependence and poverty quite often. That's coming from 15 years of friendships in the Philippines 🇵🇭. Although I've never been there.
I believe it's mostly true for the uneducated lower to low middle class income families in the Philippines. Seldom you see that in the upper middle class to upper class families. Parents from these income classes see their children as an investment.
This is common in every poor country. There are a bunch of videos by people from African countries who are really mad about the pressure to send money back home. They're mad because the money goes to buy junk, family members stop working and other nonsense. Same in PH. I video chatted with a Filipina OFW in her 30's, professional well paying job. She was very depressed about having sent money back home in part for her parents to buy land and build a house for her so she'd have a place to live when she returned to PH. When she got back she learned an Aunt had taken the land and the money for the house. The worse part was her parents backed the Aunt. So it was like her entire world collapsed. It was a fantasy. It's just a culture of theft. I see it with Filipina girlfriends too not having any idea about saving, investing. It's money in, money out. If they have enough money for food they don't show up for work. See it in many videos people saying if you need 4 workers you have to hire 6 and maybe 3 show up. There are many hard working Filipinos, but still a high percentage are not. And the hard working Filipinos don't seem to understand money. 13:04 Marriage??? Why would a foreigner marry a Filipina? There are endless great Filipinas who do not require marriage. Many Filipinas with kids, no husband ever.
Great video! Very true. If one is cast in the role of "provider" the best thing is not to enable the dependency. Tough to do with desperate, highly manipulative Filipinas. Better to go ones own way alone.
Ive been a breadwinner for 25 years. I have little savings. I am supporting my 6 nieces/nephews (3&3) to finish their education. They are currently in MAPUA. All engineers. Invest in education.
In 1965 there were 32 million people in the philippines, today over 114 million. For every job, ten people want that job. If over breeding keeps happening i think it will get Worse. Food shortages and much higher food prices. In 2018 i paid 160 a klo for pork at Tanauan, Leyte. Today asking price is 360 a klo. Over population is killing filipino's
If the parents are loving and took care of their children, they don't have to worry since the principal of psychological reciprocity dictates that the kids will return the favor. I don’t need help from my kids since my retirement is well funded, yet my children are still there for me despite being highly successful in their own professions.
Excellent video; telling it like it is. Agree 100%. Education and cultural dependency are the main 2 reasons why the PH will remain one of the poorest countries in SEA (maybe government too but education will get them out of that). The PH is a beautiful country with extremely friendly people and should be the biggest tourist pull in the world. The culture needs some smaller changes as you suggest and let the lazy ones fend for themselves.
if they dont change the law barring foreigners from owning real-estate, they will get almost foreign investment and without it, they'll continue to suffer. They also have to stop having kids that they can't afford to raise properly, which is 90% of the population.
I am experiencing the Eldest Daughter first hand, it pains me to see her struggle, all of her sibs are capable of supporting themselves and I my humble opinion should help the family I would pray that someday we can agree on a plan Thanks once again
Dial back on the praying and dial up the doing. God gave you the tools to lead, so lead. You set boundaries for a Filipina and she will learn. Just because a male moves to PH doesn't mean he has to adopt everything claimed to be "Filipino culture". Seem 80-90% of males moving to PH are worse than 3 year-olds unable to say "no".
Sometimes in giving there should be reciprocity, something of value given in return, unless you intend to be their 'welfare plan.' Also, if there are other able bodied adult siblings, they should also contribute something, yes? How about the parents are they young enough to find a way to earn money as well? Is what you're sending properly managed or squandered? Remembering the old saying: "Only fools jump in where angels fear to tread."
I was in that situation. She was responsible for her sisters high scho graduation. I told her, "Your parents had 18 years to plan, what happened." I broke up with her. I never planned to come here and become her parents wallet.
I'm agnostic, but I love how the Bible is usually right in these domestic matters. It's so funny that you could cite a verse to lead them back on the reasonable path, not being a believer oneself. 😂
Very well presented, very informative, thank you. It begs the question: might one find that the middle (female) child, or even the youngest might not have the same expectations? Wouldn't it be safer to try to find a lady who is the youngest, so she might experience less of the breadwinner expectations? Or, as I am a foreigner (American), will it be that my filipina wife will still have the same expectation of helping support the family, no matter if she's the oldest or not; just because she married a foreigner?
the best solution i have ever heared for the expectation is him giving her 100 dollars a month and she can save it, spend it or support the familiy with it when there's an urgent need, her decision but the budget is 100 per month and SHE decides. peace and quiet, no nagging no tries to get another catastrophy lump sum one time payment after the other.
True, and also the Philippines being Catholic in culture, they are not taught to read the Bible but the Bible according to their religion is interpreted for them by priests/nuns and popes . I was raised Baptist in America and were taught independent biblical education . God's order is a man leaves his mom/dad and creates his own family with his wife and their children . The Bible says that if a man refuses to be responsible for his family, then he is worst than an infidel . The Filipino's doctrinal belief on some family issues are not biblical but Catholic and Catholic is not necessarily Jesus Christ way . Nations can be cultural/traditional and not Jesus Christ centered but worldly and pagan or anti-christ in behavior .😊
I'm a Filipino living in the US and I'm happy to break off from this toxic tradition. Now I'm living comfortably and able to help my family when they need it without breaking the bank. It took 25 years of convincing my parents that I will not help them until I'm fully in a position to do so.
In my wifes family the oldest didnt take on the responsability as breadwinners since they got kids early and in her family if you get kids thats needs to come first. So my wife became the breadwinner when she go work abroad, Sending all the money for 5 years when she came back she see the house she paid for, it looks like crap and finds out that alot of the money go to her fathers mistress. So when we met, she was done with being the kind sacrificing everything breadwinner, now she send 5000 pesos a month to her mom, before we sent 5k more to her youngest brother while he was studying to become a police. Now its easy for me, she is working so there is never any talk about me helping anymore.
I put my sister in law thru college. If she'd go abroad, she'd make 100k per year as a computer artist and architect. Instead, she makes the same $200 per month as any sales-girl. Total waste of 10k or so. Pissed me off no end.
We'd something similar, with wife's grand-niece through nursing school. If the parallel holds, there may be a man involved in your SIL's choice to not 'grab the rung on the ladder' but stay in the PI. May be?
Why you should take care of GROWN men and women in your family?? If they are capable of working? Why???? They need to get out there and get a job. To get experienced in working and learning about a job.
I experienced this first hand and I loved the girl and ended up supporting her and hence her family. It’s a long story but what shocked me was how little the family cared about what she did for them - even to the extent of her prostituting herself for her family - meanwhile other siblings were doing nothing to help the family - it was shocking for me to witness and eventually we parted as I couldn’t sustain it. I admire her dedication but hate the fact they abuse her basically. Very sad
If you had lead your Filipina none of that would have happened. Seems like 80-90% of males involved with Filipinas are White Knights. I've heard of several men who set boundaries. Bring food when visiting, maybe verified medial emergencies. But no to giving actual cash. The Filipina then learns about boundaries too.
@@krakerjak3You are mistaken if you don't know that it happens everywhere in the Philippines, I didn't associate his comment with Angeles City, but then again, I'm a realist.😊
It took me year's and trips to the Philippines 🇵🇭 to convince my Asawa..they were tamad and are using her. 😮 Since stopping with School Enrollment..Shoes..Uniforms..Supplies..for EVERYONE!! WE ARE MUCH HAPPIER!! AND HAVE MORE MONEY.❤
Jesus also says "whoever puts their mother or father above me, doesnt deserve me." Filipina's say they put God first, but their actions show otherwise. The problem with that system they use in the family is it was generated from poverty thinking and it holds the children hostage. Its manipulative and wrong. Its not supported biblically either. We should always help our parents, but we are supposed to put our spouse (man or woman) first above everybody. It goes Jesus first, spouse second, children 3rd, then the extended family such as parents. Thats biblical
Yes, Matthew 10:37. It's akin to Luke 9:60 NIV "Let the Dead bury the(ir) dead." The Matthew quote could be interpreted as to live in a Godly way, regardless of family pressure. However, the Luke quote was said in context to advise of a follower to stay with J, and not go to his parent's burial. That context makes the advice something seeming self-serving and much less-than-divine IMO. For me, it reminds that, at the end of the day, J was put on Earth as a man, and flesh is imperfect. Or perhaps the imperfect writers of the Bible mis-related the event....or imperfect-me misunderstands.
Those are worthless parents passing the responsibilities of raising their kids to one of the siblings. It's the parent's responsibility to take care of the children they decide to bring into the world. The children have the responsibility to take care of their kids.
if i can work .. to support the family .. every single member who wants to receive financial support can work too unless their health doesn't allow it, i.e. old sickly parent. everyone else ESPECIALLY siblings can work for their livelihood .. how can a brother or sister expect you to work and stay at home do nothing while spending YOUR hard earned money?
Not always the first born, sometimes they rebel and get married to an average Filipino, and don't contribute much. It's really any sibling willing to undertake the burden. My partner worked as an OFW for 11 years and felt she had been taken advantage of, never saving a peso for herself, nor her parents saving/investing anything for her. It's difficult to 'close the door' to that kind of grift.
I'm not sure, that by being a breadwinner, your actually helping. You learn a lot of things, by getting out there and working. Make friends, find opportunities, sometimes you even get rich. Even here in the U.S. most of us started with some really terrible job, or some job that didn't really pay much.
"Helping" is just a word Filipinos use instead of "money". It's a face saving thing. They do that with many English words. Entirely different meaning in PH. "Can you help me?" translated to "Give me your money." And there's no "please" or "thank you".
I thought the Philippines was a traditional culture. Traditional cultures have the man work and the wife manage the home and kids. So then why/how is it the daughter's responsibility to work to pay for the whole family? Why aren't the sons responsible? They would be the men of the family. The family that men are supposed to support. And what about all the other children? Why are they not expected to work and pay their own way? And at what age do the parents decide to just become a liability to the family? By any reasonable thought process this whole thing of the oldest daughter sacrifices all so the rest can sit by the pool is so flawed. This is an ideal system to make sure the whole family stays in poverty generation after generation.
Many years ago I asked a Filipino about the same situation and his answer was that Filipinas are known to be some of the hardest working people and some Filipino men are known for their laziness so the burden usually falls on the eldest daughter who is usually the first to earn a supportable source of income that can provide the needed help. I don't know if there is any proof to his statement but it is food for thought.
@horacesubayar794 Pretty much what I suspect. I have zero proof, but when every vid I watch of bloggers out and about there seems to always be plenty of able bodied men sitting around, but not a gal in sight.
@goatman3828, Here is what people keep telling me about that topic: The sons (or son) has to provide for his own family later when he marries. That is why he is exempted. It feels a bit a contradiction. What I dont get is when a daughter from a poor background is able to make (enough) money to financially support her parents, maybe her uncles/aunts, nieces and nephews PLUS maybe even her own future husband and his parents. For me, the way I see it, the entire system does NOT work at all. Last but not least: The PH laws, cultural dynamics and social dynamics today, is what we had in my country 70-80 years ago. The educational (public & private) system they have in PH is not really of high standards. The over-population in PH result in too many people for far less available jobs and hence the high number of OFWs. High quality sex-ed and sex do not mix well in PH.
@goatman3828, There are things that 'Conservative Filipina' does not address in this video. At least things that I understand are the case in the Philippines. a) Only people who do work for the government get retirement/pension money when they are 60 YO or 65 YO. What I dont know is how much they get and if that is enough to live from. b) People that dont work for the government get nothing. c) People that are unemployed also get nothing when thety reach the age of 60/65.
Myths are kind of endless in PH. There is no "eldest has to be a breadwinner" thing in PH. It's just the eldest is the first to be able to earn. Every kid is expected to sent a cut back to parents. And even before that many Filipino parents will send a kid under 10 years-old to someone else to live and work to pay off a debt or just to reduce food expense. All poor countries have this exact same system. If a person can get money from another person then there's no reason to work. And this seems to be mostly an equatorial thing. People who move toward the poles to cooler climates learn the concept of saving for winter. You couldn't live just day to day. In an equatorial area 365 days a year a person could go fishing when hungry or walk around looking for fruit. Is that a flawed system? Americans don't sound very happy to me.
People are people everywhere you go. Not a bad thing to help out family. but it has been my experience in life that giving to family gets to be one of those never ending things. It just does not agree with me to basically enslave a daughter to support a family. While the old man just kept pumping out more mouths to feed and then make there child feel like shit if she does not feed them. I have a big heart and would help a family but do not abuse me or I would cut you loose.
Is it right, is it wrong? In the US, the better parents work to take care of themselves and provide for their own retirement. They try to teach their children to take care of themselves to provide their own retirement and give their own children education and opportunities to take care of themselves. US parents want to be self dependent and help their children to do the same.
*The very thought of this concept drives me crazy. *A man and a woman leave their families to become ONE with each other ONLY! *My money and her money stay in the house and have to work together in OUR household! *No woman deserves her own (husband+kids) family if she prioritizes others above them!!! *The pinays who practice this nonsense should marry their family and leave men alone. *Before marrying a pinay, have her sign a prenup that specifies that you're not financially responsible for her family baggage in any way shape or form. *Life is too short to subject yourself with such toxicity. You have your own problems and your own life to live. *EVERYBODY has to carry their own weight in this life.
My question.It seems like the eldest daughter enjoys the role of being in power.They are now in charge.And like the authority.And it seems like even when their younger siblings are now grown up.They still are under the authority of the eldest daughter.I find this difficult to wrap my head around.Any thoughts?
Honoring your parents doesn't necessarily mean being their slave for life. Here are some bible verses that would suggest when a woman marries a man, they leave the parents and become their own family. Mark 10:7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, Mark 10:8 and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
The bible says when you get married you leave your mother and father and become 1 flesh, your life is now none of their business, nor should you have to provide for everyone who likely are keeping their other money a secret.
Providing for your children is not an investment for yourself, in Canada if you don’t you go to jail. You have not made a human to provide for you, you had sex that’s it, you do not have creation abilities. This is so egocentric.
Thank you. That was a good explanation. I have the impression that most western men will give a monthly allowance and many say they do. It will be the poorer ones that will struggle financially. A minority will be mean and not contribute. But the stipend will be modest in my opinion and should be given
CF, someone once said to me the reason why Filipinos have large families despite the enormous level of poverty they are experiencing is because the children are regarded as the parents' social security. As far as the first daughters being required to provide help to their family; we may not understand or embrace it, but that is their cultural norm. even though it can create an unleavened burden on the giver. We all know that a curse of the Philippines is its enormous poverty level so I believe that you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, but only after your needs are fulfilled first.
Yes that's the reason for having kids...income. Same everywhere in the world including in the US. For the first 100 years the main American job was farmer, even into the 1950's there were a lot of farmers. They wanted a lot of kids to help work on the farm and to work the farm to cover parents in old age. That's still going on in some US farm families today except the farms are huge, lots of equipment so not as many kids needed. The concept of having a kid just for fun is a very recent thing. And I'm not sure that's been a positive trend. Filipina Pea just did a video on how hard her childhood was, but she grew up to be very productive. Hard life can be helpful.
@@waterbug1135 Not the same, the farm is the family business, which feeds and clothes them, and will be their legacy once the parents pass, not to induct one or more children in servitude to leech off them, or their 'rich' foreigner husbands. You'll notice too, once you start, giving there will come an endless flurry of requests to give more, more, more...sorry, hard pass for me!
They have a social Security retirement also. The problem is they do not put into it. Stop supporting their dysfunctional behavior by being the parachute for their choices of having many children.
@@horacesubayar794 I'm American, and that is my culture. We do not take responsibility for our partner's parents choices to have more children than they can afford. If I agree to that behavior, I would be dysfunctional by our standards.
I can't generalize since I've seen some who married for other reasons. However, you are correct. That is the case for some, and most men are also aware of this situation.
@@conservativefilipina If I were to live with a Filipina, I would first ask how much of her salary she gives to help support her family. If reasonable, I would cover that amount since I would want her to quit her job and stay home with me. Also, I would never tell anyone how much retirement income I get. No ones business but mine.
and since philipinas have the chance to marry wealthy old guys they can provide much more easy than philipinos, philipinas tend to get this role, got it
I’m Andrew. I’m one of your subscribers. One of your videos showed up in my feed. I’m glad it did. You seem to have a tough skin. Same here. My opinion is that we have too many proverbial snowflakes in the world because we’re keeping them from growing a tough skin. I disagree with you about the wife working. I don’t see an issue with having a dual income household. Provided both the husband and wife are onboard with that. I’m a born again Christian. I have an idea of what the Bible says. But it’s not that possible for a couple to survive as a single income household. Otherwise I absolutely agree. I care about my family. My parents are senior citizens and live on pensions. They’re also still married to each other. My momma and dad do help me out financially. I don’t like it. But my grandma (maternal) taught me to pick my battles. I do want to return the favor when I’m financially able to. And in case you’re wondering … I live in Reston, Virginia. My parents live six and a half miles east of me. In the house they raised me and my brother in. And I’ve seriously considered relocating to somewhere out of Virginia. But I have bipolar. And most psychiatrists will overhaul my meds. I don’t need that.
Not all Filipinos are privilege to sustain all their needs, including necessities. According to statistics, Philippine is one of the poorest countries in the world and poverty is one social issue that this country faces. This all boils down to the culture that your target audience- the foreigners, that it may seems shocking to them. You can’t blame Filipinos if they’re family oriented, because from their perspective they experience first hand poverty and just grabbing the chance to help their family if they have the opportunity to do so. It’s not just about who’s willing to help, and do this and this. It’s the gratitude from the conscience of the heart of the sons and daughters when they see how their parents strive so hard for them to survive from the very young age until then. They woke up together being poor and as much as possible work hard TOGETHER until the day they became financially stable. It’s not just about the culture it’s also about the experience
You have to be aware of utang na loob that occurs in poor families in the philippines and accept it, otherwise you won't have a relationship with a woman from there.
Give a Filipino a rod to fish, he will ask for a boat and restaurant
@@Nomad-XA And so will everyone who lives in his compound.
Some families are farmers and grow rice. Some families grow children as a crop.
😂
In the USA, when most people worked as farmers, the larger the family, the better. It was common for all adult children to take care of the elderly that could no longer work. This is true for most developing economies.
@@batape1965 Don’t labour the obvious
I broke up with the love of my life over these same reasons. Best decision I've ever made. I'm here for retirement, I'm not her family's social services, wallet, or servant.
Its a big Negative ! To say the least !!! My Wife takes on a whole lot more than any Western woman I know ! Its a punishment in its own right !!! Undeserved Punishment !
She really wasn't the love of your life then
Stop being an opportunist going after poor women and you'll not going to have that problem.
@@rspcoach619 Watch the video. It's what happens when you have a relationship with breadwinner culture. Be safe.
Filipino family culture produces the Filipina attributes that western men crave. It goes together. American culture produces the women that expat men are fleeing. You don't get both.
Elsewhere on YT a 60 something American man married to a young Filipina (24 y) had a stroke and told his wife that he understood if she needed to move on because he thought he would not be able to support her. But she told him that if he couldn't take care of her and their daughter, then she would get a job at a call center and provide for them. Though his American doctors gave him 6 months to live, she nursed him and loved him and he regained a lot of his function and is still living and enjoying life today years later. That kind of loyalty is also the product of that culture.
Excellent video. Very educational. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you kindly!
The Family you create is MORE IMPORTANT than the family you came from.
If more Filipono's realized this, the poverty of the whole country would be reduced overtime.
NOTE TO ALL EXPATS, make sure you use your correct head when diving into a relationship with a Filipina.
You worked your but off to retire in peace. Not to become a ATM machine.
Great video by the way. Great info.
Expats need to learn to say no, simple as that.
He who makes the bread gets to decide who eats it. That's winning.
Outstanding commentary on a complicated subject. Well done!
Thank you kindly!
Without question, this is the most useful video I have see done on how to find a good Filipina mate. Bravo!!!
Thank you kindly!
You said all of the things we foreigners are thinking. And I'm glad it came from a Filipina. Because when we say it, we sound judgmental. Westerners are taught that MEN are bread-winners. Priority is wife and kids. In-laws who beg are shunned. Good video. Keep bringing us more harsh truths like this.
Salamat ❤ if any man will not work, neither should he eat- APOSTLE PAUL
I bet most Filipinos hate (or just ignore) that verse in the Bible
No waaay they are the most pious country in the world, with all their teen pregnancy and single Moms. Inspirational Christians, they are.
Very good topic and well explained
Thanks a lot!
Awesome video. Can you please make a Tagalog version...I wanna show it to my filipina gf
I married a breadwinner, endured supporting her family for 15 yrs even to the point that she prioritised her family over her kids that was the straw that broke the camel back for me.. and in part lead to our divorce.
Great and informative on a taboo and painful subject
Very practical approach to the biggest problem facing foreigners here - family of your partner
Finally, it's clear. Thank you
You're welcome!
Take care and God bless you 🙏 😀😊
Hello My Conservative Lady Friend. I can't thank you enough. For your insight into the family dynamics of the Philippines. It was a little hard to understand. Until you clarified it for everyone. I'm in The USA 🇺🇸. So it was harder for me to understand until now. Thank you again ❤
I really appreciate your understanding, intelligence and wisdom on the Filipino culture and helping me to understand it better as I grow closer to my Filipina. She’s the youngest of 11 siblings and has always been the breadwinner. She helps them, I help her. She’s also a business owner and has her own vehicle to get around town without my help. God bless your channel.
I'm glad it was helpful. Thank you!
This girl is very smart. Im truly impressed of her bible knowledge.
Thank you for your kind words!
She only mentioned one thing, a single commandment from the 10 commandments, that literally every person on the planet as heard whether or not they are Christian. For that to be impressive to you... Holy smokes
@-whackd probably in reference to all the videos she has posted which has biblical references and verses in them.
This video helps me understand my sweet, poor, beautiful Filipina girlfriend. Bless her heart.
Thank you for saying this out loud !
I'm seeking a Phillipeana life partner and the first discussion we will have is I nor she will do this ! This very behavior keeps the whole society in poverty. I do not believe in a hand out (with few exceptions) but I do believe in a hand up.
Ask me for free money the answer is NO, ask me to "invest" show me your plan to pull YOURSELF up by your bootstraps entitlement mindset is a mental disorder
NOBODY owes you ANYTHING !
Start with learning to spell Philippines. Notice 1 L, 2 P's. 🎉🎉🎉 Now you are ready to tell that woman how to do that financial thing. 😂😂😂
As a native of Borneo our cultures are similar to the Filipinos but due to modernation most of us has long abandoned that negative culture of the so-called bread earners..and that's makes everyone work harder for their own family..
Hopefully, no one will crucify you in the comment section. But the video is spot on. The Bible says once an adult, twice a child. Help the kids and care for older people, which reverts to child-like ways. Help adults in a case-by-case situation. Most importantly, when I was single and dating, I approached this topic after the third date of any relationship. I dated to find a wife, and our alignment of Faith, Family, and Finances was critical in advancing to a future together.
Thank goodness I am finally done with that.. I am the eldest daughter but my younger siblings are all settle and doing well with their own lives.. There are a few extended family who asks help sometimes but it's not too bad as when I was working abroad.. Everything is good now and I can do the things I want to do now without feeling guilty.. 😊🙏
Proud of you. I still have 6 years.
I have read somewhere that if it were not for the women in the Philippines the country would fall apart overnight.
I never thought about it like that but you're spot on.
Breadwinners are toast.
pay piggy betas, unfortunately 😞
You are above and beyond of all the trash existing in the Phil. UA-cam field. You are intelligent, articulate,educating and factual. Thank you for your work. Stay above the swamp. :)
Thank you for this video!
Glad it was helpful!
I will respect their culture and traditions as long as they respect my culture and American traditions. Meet us halfway.
that's all well and good, except the usual expat is living in their country which makes her culture and tradtions (C/T) dominate. Ok fine, you do a 50/50 split on C/T. Which C/T norms are your prioritizing and which ones are you willing to sacrifice for her half of the equation. Her, supporting her family will probably rank very high on her needs. You can't choose C/T norms that only benefit you.
You're making an assumption and I resent it. I see what you're trying to say but I stand by what I said. Supporting their typically large families is simply not fair to the foreign husband. @@markdsm-5157
@@markdsm-5157I respect your opinion but supporting their typically large families is unfair and causes deep resentment on the part of the foreign husband.
This doesn’t have to be a problem and was never an issue with us. My wife helped them to help themselves. She refused to be a revenue stream but did help them become independent.
@@markdsm-5157yea he did state “as long as you respect his”.
Great video. very informative. Thank you very much. Please take care. Go and eat.
your totally right, good video
Yes, and another more important reason for poverty in the Philippines is that the wealthiest 1000 families in general, and more specifically the wealthiest 100 families in particular, OWN the vast majority of the wealth in the Philippines. Everyone else (that is at least 110 million people) are left with the much, much smaller amount of ownership.
@@NorseMythology-c3z Yes thats the biggest problem
Sounds like every country in the world.. might be a pattern.
The US has people with hundreds of billions of dollars.
What kind of person would even say this? Do you not know that it's the same or even more unbalanced in other countries?
Wake up and learn about the world.
It's hard to be a breadwinner when you're a trike driver or security guard at Jollibee.
Parents still want their cut.
@@waterbug1135 Excellent point.
That's the Country's fault.
@@KaliBahayKubo That's why there are so many OFWs.
I’m the oldest daughter of nine. For me it’s an honor that I took responsibility for my parents financially. Is makes me feel joy and is a blessing to my heart. I know everybody’s situation are different. I’m blessed more than my other siblings and of course I always think myself first and my own family, make sure I secure my financial and stability first. My husband trusted me how to handle our finances and how I help my siblings since my parents are gone. He doesn’t mind me helping my siblings with boundaries . Good insight ❤😊
Did you take responsibility or did he? If you don't work or earn, then the financial burden is all on him for YOUR sake. Be careful with that (if true), at some point he may begin to resent it, and you.
Your siblings need to provide for themselves!
@@JamesHickman-g5c I did and I work every day. I never ask money from my husband is all mine. I never asked my husband money ever in 28 years of our married and even sometime my husband offers money to help my family but I don’t accept it. I know how to fish and I bring plenty of fish. I’m the type of woman that I don’t spend someone’s money if I don’t earn. I know it’s weird and is my husband. His money is mine and my money is his too. but that’s not me. He gave me money for the house expenses but my own personal expenses I don’t. But hey it’s not me. So he doesn’t resent me or I don’t resent him either. Thanks for asking.
@@randyfournier8299 oh I don’t mind helping in the right way. It’s also a blessing when you help. That’s why boundaries and top love is important. Thanks for your concern.
You are a burden to him he might not say I it because he loves you but I know he would prefer not to support a 20 ppl
In the USA, when most people worked as farmers, the larger the family, the better. It was common for all adult children to take care of their elderly parents when the parents could no longer work. This is true for most developing economies.
I would suggest it's dependence and poverty quite often. That's coming from 15 years of friendships in the Philippines 🇵🇭. Although I've never been there.
I believe it's mostly true for the uneducated lower to low middle class income families in the Philippines. Seldom you see that in the upper middle class to upper class families. Parents from these income classes see their children as an investment.
Yes, of course. But that's 95% of PH. There's not much of a middle class in PH.
This is common in every poor country. There are a bunch of videos by people from African countries who are really mad about the pressure to send money back home. They're mad because the money goes to buy junk, family members stop working and other nonsense.
Same in PH. I video chatted with a Filipina OFW in her 30's, professional well paying job. She was very depressed about having sent money back home in part for her parents to buy land and build a house for her so she'd have a place to live when she returned to PH. When she got back she learned an Aunt had taken the land and the money for the house. The worse part was her parents backed the Aunt. So it was like her entire world collapsed. It was a fantasy. It's just a culture of theft.
I see it with Filipina girlfriends too not having any idea about saving, investing. It's money in, money out. If they have enough money for food they don't show up for work. See it in many videos people saying if you need 4 workers you have to hire 6 and maybe 3 show up.
There are many hard working Filipinos, but still a high percentage are not. And the hard working Filipinos don't seem to understand money.
13:04 Marriage??? Why would a foreigner marry a Filipina? There are endless great Filipinas who do not require marriage. Many Filipinas with kids, no husband ever.
Good Video
Great video! Very true. If one is cast in the role of "provider" the best thing is not to enable the dependency. Tough to do with desperate, highly manipulative Filipinas. Better to go ones own way alone.
Yes, I agree with a bit.of Give and take, but I think there’s a lot of giving and not much taking. 🤔
Erudite and mature presentation - I learn so much from your videos!
Thank you. I appreciate that!
Ive been a breadwinner for 25 years. I have little savings. I am supporting my 6 nieces/nephews (3&3) to finish their education. They are currently in MAPUA. All engineers. Invest in education.
In 1965 there were 32 million people in the philippines, today over 114 million.
For every job, ten people want that job.
If over breeding keeps happening i think it will get
Worse.
Food shortages and much higher food prices.
In 2018 i paid 160 a klo for pork at Tanauan, Leyte.
Today asking price is 360 a klo.
Over population is killing filipino's
If the parents are loving and took care of their children, they don't have to worry since the principal of psychological reciprocity dictates that the kids will return the favor. I don’t need help from my kids since my retirement is well funded, yet my children are still there for me despite being highly successful in their own professions.
Filipino families use a safety net as a hammock
Well put.
Excellent video; telling it like it is. Agree 100%. Education and cultural dependency are the main 2 reasons why the PH will remain one of the poorest countries in SEA (maybe government too but education will get them out of that). The PH is a beautiful country with extremely friendly people and should be the biggest tourist pull in the world. The culture needs some smaller changes as you suggest and let the lazy ones fend for themselves.
if they dont change the law barring foreigners from owning real-estate, they will get almost foreign investment and without it, they'll continue to suffer. They also have to stop having kids that they can't afford to raise properly, which is 90% of the population.
💕💕
give a hand UP ,, not a hand OUT
It's not really who is the eldest but who earns more.
I am experiencing the Eldest Daughter first hand, it pains me to see her struggle, all of her sibs are capable of supporting themselves and I my humble opinion should help the family I would pray that someday we can agree on a plan
Thanks once again
Dial back on the praying and dial up the doing. God gave you the tools to lead, so lead. You set boundaries for a Filipina and she will learn. Just because a male moves to PH doesn't mean he has to adopt everything claimed to be "Filipino culture". Seem 80-90% of males moving to PH are worse than 3 year-olds unable to say "no".
@@waterbug1135I'm aware of the boundries and I'm smart enough to pick and choose my battles especially when it comes to family
Sometimes in giving there should be reciprocity, something of value given in return, unless you intend to be their 'welfare plan.' Also, if there are other able bodied adult siblings, they should also contribute something, yes? How about the parents are they young enough to find a way to earn money as well? Is what you're sending properly managed or squandered? Remembering the old saying: "Only fools jump in where angels fear to tread."
I was in that situation. She was responsible for her sisters high scho graduation. I told her, "Your parents had 18 years to plan, what happened." I broke up with her. I never planned to come here and become her parents wallet.
It is the welfare state model on a family one person level!
This culture scares me off from retiring there.
I'm agnostic, but I love how the Bible is usually right in these domestic matters.
It's so funny that you could cite a verse to lead them back on the reasonable path, not being a believer oneself. 😂
Very well presented, very informative, thank you.
It begs the question: might one find that the middle (female) child, or even the youngest might not have the same expectations? Wouldn't it be safer to try to find a lady who is the youngest, so she might experience less of the breadwinner expectations?
Or, as I am a foreigner (American), will it be that my filipina wife will still have the same expectation of helping support the family, no matter if she's the oldest or not; just because she married a foreigner?
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I'll answer your question in one of my videos. Stay tuned.
If your women marries into money (You), she will be the breadwinner. It's not so much as when she was born. It's who has the money now.
the best solution i have ever heared for the expectation is him giving her 100 dollars a month and she can save it, spend it or support the familiy with it when there's an urgent need,
her decision but the budget is 100 per month and SHE decides.
peace and quiet, no nagging no tries to get another catastrophy lump sum one time payment after the other.
True, and also the Philippines being Catholic in culture, they are not taught to read the Bible but the Bible according to their religion is interpreted for them by priests/nuns and popes . I was raised Baptist in America and were taught independent biblical education . God's order is a man leaves his mom/dad and creates his own family with his wife and their children . The Bible says that if a man refuses to be responsible for his family, then he is worst than an infidel . The Filipino's doctrinal belief on some family issues are not biblical but Catholic and Catholic is not necessarily Jesus Christ way . Nations can be cultural/traditional and not Jesus Christ centered but worldly and pagan or anti-christ in behavior .😊
Iglesia ni cristo, denies deity of Christ
Sola scriptura masonic western society's are collapsing for a good reason.
You just nailed it. Exactly
Thank you . Great topic and host .
I'm a Filipino living in the US and I'm happy to break off from this toxic tradition. Now I'm living comfortably and able to help my family when they need it without breaking the bank. It took 25 years of convincing my parents that I will not help them until I'm fully in a position to do so.
In my wifes family the oldest didnt take on the responsability as breadwinners since they got kids early and in her family if you get kids thats needs to come first. So my wife became the breadwinner when she go work abroad, Sending all the money for 5 years when she came back she see the house she paid for, it looks like crap and finds out that alot of the money go to her fathers mistress.
So when we met, she was done with being the kind sacrificing everything breadwinner, now she send 5000 pesos a month to her mom, before we sent 5k more to her youngest brother while he was studying to become a police. Now its easy for me, she is working so there is never any talk about me helping anymore.
No wonder many Filipino families are so excited when their daughter marries a westerner...
Excellent explanation. ❤
I have learned to hate what you explain because of the constant requests for money. I have given and given and sacrificed and now I just say NO.
Glad you think so!
I put my sister in law thru college. If she'd go abroad, she'd make 100k per year as a computer artist and architect. Instead, she makes the same $200 per month as any sales-girl. Total waste of 10k or so. Pissed me off no end.
We'd something similar, with wife's grand-niece through nursing school. If the parallel holds, there may be a man involved in your SIL's choice to not 'grab the rung on the ladder' but stay in the PI. May be?
Why you should take care of GROWN men and women in your family?? If they are capable of working? Why???? They need to get out there and get a job. To get experienced in working and learning about a job.
I experienced this first hand and I loved the girl and ended up supporting her and hence her family. It’s a long story but what shocked me was how little the family cared about what she did for them - even to the extent of her prostituting herself for her family - meanwhile other siblings were doing nothing to help the family - it was shocking for me to witness and eventually we parted as I couldn’t sustain it. I admire her dedication but hate the fact they abuse her basically. Very sad
If you had lead your Filipina none of that would have happened. Seems like 80-90% of males involved with Filipinas are White Knights. I've heard of several men who set boundaries. Bring food when visiting, maybe verified medial emergencies. But no to giving actual cash. The Filipina then learns about boundaries too.
Sounds like you met her in Angeles City
@@krakerjak3 no mate online and then went to meet her in Cavite
A lot of OWFs, sadly, feel taken advantage of in what amounts to indentured servitude.
@@krakerjak3You are mistaken if you don't know that it happens everywhere in the Philippines, I didn't associate his comment with Angeles City, but then again, I'm a realist.😊
It took me year's and trips to the Philippines 🇵🇭 to convince my Asawa..they were tamad and are using her. 😮 Since stopping with School Enrollment..Shoes..Uniforms..Supplies..for EVERYONE!! WE ARE MUCH HAPPIER!! AND HAVE MORE MONEY.❤
Genisis 2:24
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh
Jesus also says "whoever puts their mother or father above me, doesnt deserve me." Filipina's say they put God first, but their actions show otherwise. The problem with that system they use in the family is it was generated from poverty thinking and it holds the children hostage. Its manipulative and wrong. Its not supported biblically either. We should always help our parents, but we are supposed to put our spouse (man or woman) first above everybody. It goes Jesus first, spouse second, children 3rd, then the extended family such as parents. Thats biblical
Yes, Matthew 10:37. It's akin to Luke 9:60 NIV "Let the Dead bury the(ir) dead." The Matthew quote could be interpreted as to live in a Godly way, regardless of family pressure. However, the Luke quote was said in context to advise of a follower to stay with J, and not go to his parent's burial. That context makes the advice something seeming self-serving and much less-than-divine IMO. For me, it reminds that, at the end of the day, J was put on Earth as a man, and flesh is imperfect. Or perhaps the imperfect writers of the Bible mis-related the event....or imperfect-me misunderstands.
Those are worthless parents passing the responsibilities of raising their kids to one of the siblings. It's the parent's responsibility to take care of the children they decide to bring into the world. The children have the responsibility to take care of their kids.
In our society, not one child but all of the children are supposed to be breadwinners. If you are unemployed youre a loser.
if i can work .. to support the family .. every single member who wants to receive financial support can work too unless their health doesn't allow it, i.e. old sickly parent. everyone else ESPECIALLY siblings can work for their livelihood .. how can a brother or sister expect you to work and stay at home do nothing while spending YOUR hard earned money?
I would help my parents but everyone else could kiss my @^^
From what I know of Filipino culture, I would never marry a firstborn.
Not always the first born, sometimes they rebel and get married to an average Filipino, and don't contribute much. It's really any sibling willing to undertake the burden. My partner worked as an OFW for 11 years and felt she had been taken advantage of, never saving a peso for herself, nor her parents saving/investing anything for her. It's difficult to 'close the door' to that kind of grift.
doesn't matter. if she has a foreigner hubby, the family considers you to be an ATM.
@@SonnyCrocket-p6h but if she’s not the firstborn, you can tell them to stick it
Generally, it’s the responsibility of the first born until they have their own family. Then the responsibility passes to the next in line, and so on.
@@robmari497 in which case, the sooner you have your family with your Filipino/a spouse, the better.
I'm not sure, that by being a breadwinner, your actually helping. You learn a lot of things, by getting out there and working. Make friends, find opportunities, sometimes you even get rich. Even here in the U.S. most of us started with some really terrible job, or some job that didn't really pay much.
"Helping" is just a word Filipinos use instead of "money". It's a face saving thing. They do that with many English words. Entirely different meaning in PH. "Can you help me?" translated to "Give me your money." And there's no "please" or "thank you".
@@waterbug1135 Yes and borrow...
Utang na loob - no thank you. Everyone should have a savings account from an early age and have some self respect and dignity.
I thought the Philippines was a traditional culture. Traditional cultures have the man work and the wife manage the home and kids. So then why/how is it the daughter's responsibility to work to pay for the whole family? Why aren't the sons responsible? They would be the men of the family. The family that men are supposed to support. And what about all the other children? Why are they not expected to work and pay their own way? And at what age do the parents decide to just become a liability to the family? By any reasonable thought process this whole thing of the oldest daughter sacrifices all so the rest can sit by the pool is so flawed. This is an ideal system to make sure the whole family stays in poverty generation after generation.
Many years ago I asked a Filipino about the same situation and his answer was that Filipinas are known to be some of the hardest working people and some Filipino men are known for their laziness so the burden usually falls on the eldest daughter who is usually the first to earn a supportable source of income that can provide the needed help. I don't know if there is any proof to his statement but it is food for thought.
@horacesubayar794 Pretty much what I suspect. I have zero proof, but when every vid I watch of bloggers out and about there seems to always be plenty of able bodied men sitting around, but not a gal in sight.
@goatman3828,
Here is what people keep telling me about that topic:
The sons (or son) has to provide for his own family later when he marries. That is why he is exempted. It feels a bit a contradiction. What I dont get is when a daughter from a poor background is able to make (enough) money to financially support her parents, maybe her uncles/aunts, nieces and nephews PLUS maybe even her own future husband and his parents.
For me, the way I see it, the entire system does NOT work at all.
Last but not least:
The PH laws, cultural dynamics and social dynamics today, is what we had in my country 70-80 years ago.
The educational (public & private) system they have in PH is not really of high standards.
The over-population in PH result in too many people for far less available jobs and hence the high number of OFWs.
High quality sex-ed and sex do not mix well in PH.
@goatman3828,
There are things that 'Conservative Filipina' does not address in this video. At least things that I understand are the case in the Philippines.
a) Only people who do work for the government get retirement/pension money when they are 60 YO or 65 YO. What I dont know is how much they get and if that is enough to live from.
b) People that dont work for the government get nothing.
c) People that are unemployed also get nothing when thety reach the age of 60/65.
Myths are kind of endless in PH. There is no "eldest has to be a breadwinner" thing in PH. It's just the eldest is the first to be able to earn. Every kid is expected to sent a cut back to parents. And even before that many Filipino parents will send a kid under 10 years-old to someone else to live and work to pay off a debt or just to reduce food expense.
All poor countries have this exact same system. If a person can get money from another person then there's no reason to work. And this seems to be mostly an equatorial thing. People who move toward the poles to cooler climates learn the concept of saving for winter. You couldn't live just day to day. In an equatorial area 365 days a year a person could go fishing when hungry or walk around looking for fruit.
Is that a flawed system? Americans don't sound very happy to me.
Remember, the culture came before the bible in the Philippines. So culture over the bible and church.
People are people everywhere you go. Not a bad thing to help out family. but it has been my experience in life that giving to family gets to be one of those never ending things. It just does not agree with me to basically enslave a daughter to support a family. While the old man just kept pumping out more mouths to feed and then make there child feel like shit if she does not feed them. I have a big heart and would help a family but do not abuse me or I would cut you loose.
Is it right, is it wrong?
In the US, the better parents work to take care of themselves and provide for their own retirement.
They try to teach their children to take care of themselves to provide their own retirement and give their own children education and opportunities to take care of themselves.
US parents want to be self dependent and help their children to do the same.
*The very thought of this concept drives me crazy.
*A man and a woman leave their families to become ONE with each other ONLY!
*My money and her money stay in the house and have to work together in OUR household!
*No woman deserves her own (husband+kids) family if she prioritizes others above them!!!
*The pinays who practice this nonsense should marry their family and leave men alone.
*Before marrying a pinay, have her sign a prenup that specifies that you're not financially responsible for her family baggage in any way shape or form.
*Life is too short to subject yourself with such toxicity.
You have your own problems and your own life to live.
*EVERYBODY has to carry their own weight in this life.
I was just thinking the 'loob' should translate into 'lube' when the grease you up 😂😂😂
My question.It seems like the eldest daughter enjoys the role of being in power.They are now in charge.And like the authority.And it seems like even when their younger siblings are now grown up.They still are under the authority of the eldest daughter.I find this difficult to wrap my head around.Any thoughts?
Honoring your parents doesn't necessarily mean being their slave for life. Here are some bible verses that would suggest when a woman marries a man, they leave the parents and become their own family.
Mark 10:7
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
Mark 10:8
and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Lots of toxic and abusive people out there.
The bible says when you get married you leave your mother and father and become 1 flesh, your life is now none of their business, nor should you have to provide for everyone who likely are keeping their other money a secret.
Also I have yet to see any appreciation from parents, they expect it, it’s sick af!
Providing for your children is not an investment for yourself, in Canada if you don’t you go to jail. You have not made a human to provide for you, you had sex that’s it, you do not have creation abilities. This is so egocentric.
Thank you. That was a good explanation.
I have the impression that most western men will give a monthly allowance and many say they do. It will be the poorer ones that will struggle financially. A minority will be mean and not contribute. But the stipend will be modest in my opinion and should be given
Your welcome!
CF, someone once said to me the reason why Filipinos have large families despite the enormous level of poverty they are experiencing is because the children are regarded as the parents' social security. As far as the first daughters being required to provide help to their family; we may not understand or embrace it, but that is their cultural norm. even though it can create an unleavened burden on the giver. We all know that a curse of the Philippines is its enormous poverty level so I believe that you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, but only after your needs are fulfilled first.
Yes that's the reason for having kids...income. Same everywhere in the world including in the US. For the first 100 years the main American job was farmer, even into the 1950's there were a lot of farmers. They wanted a lot of kids to help work on the farm and to work the farm to cover parents in old age. That's still going on in some US farm families today except the farms are huge, lots of equipment so not as many kids needed.
The concept of having a kid just for fun is a very recent thing. And I'm not sure that's been a positive trend. Filipina Pea just did a video on how hard her childhood was, but she grew up to be very productive. Hard life can be helpful.
@@waterbug1135 Not the same, the farm is the family business, which feeds and clothes them, and will be their legacy once the parents pass, not to induct one or more children in servitude to leech off them, or their 'rich' foreigner husbands. You'll notice too, once you start, giving there will come an endless flurry of requests to give more, more, more...sorry, hard pass for me!
They have a social Security retirement also. The problem is they do not put into it. Stop supporting their dysfunctional behavior by being the parachute for their choices of having many children.
@@Paul-McB It is not for us to judge their cultural norm and label it as a dysfunctional behavior just because we perceive it as such.
@@horacesubayar794 I'm American, and that is my culture. We do not take responsibility for our partner's parents choices to have more children than they can afford. If I agree to that behavior, I would be dysfunctional by our standards.
Methinks I wounded someone's Pinoy Pride. It wasn't my intention.
Had to end a relationship because of this.
Its crazy this parents should not have children .
I know you don’t want to mention this but That’s why they will marry an elderly foreigner on a pension.
I can't generalize since I've seen some who married for other reasons. However, you are correct. That is the case for some, and most men are also aware of this situation.
@@conservativefilipina If I were to live with a Filipina, I would first ask how much of her salary she gives to help support her family. If reasonable, I would cover that amount since I would want her to quit her job and stay home with me. Also, I would never tell anyone how much retirement income I get. No ones business but mine.
You may pick on current events. It may be a first. Probably it’s not a must to regurgitate and chew on the same material again and again.
and since philipinas have the chance to marry wealthy old guys they can provide much more easy than philipinos, philipinas tend to get this role, got it
Not my culture I would not support no one's family
NO THANKS!!!
√√√√√√√√√.
You must be a breadwinner ? You know a lot about this subject ....
Creates a lot of entitled parents holding there hands out
I’m Andrew. I’m one of your subscribers. One of your videos showed up in my feed. I’m glad it did. You seem to have a tough skin. Same here. My opinion is that we have too many proverbial snowflakes in the world because we’re keeping them from growing a tough skin.
I disagree with you about the wife working. I don’t see an issue with having a dual income household. Provided both the husband and wife are onboard with that. I’m a born again Christian. I have an idea of what the Bible says. But it’s not that possible for a couple to survive as a single income household. Otherwise I absolutely agree.
I care about my family. My parents are senior citizens and live on pensions. They’re also still married to each other. My momma and dad do help me out financially. I don’t like it. But my grandma (maternal) taught me to pick my battles. I do want to return the favor when I’m financially able to. And in case you’re wondering … I live in Reston, Virginia. My parents live six and a half miles east of me. In the house they raised me and my brother in. And I’ve seriously considered relocating to somewhere out of Virginia. But I have bipolar. And most psychiatrists will overhaul my meds. I don’t need that.
If I were you I would study the history of the Catholic religion before stating that publicly.
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Not all Filipinos are privilege to sustain all their needs, including necessities. According to statistics, Philippine is one of the poorest countries in the world and poverty is one social issue that this country faces. This all boils down to the culture that your target audience- the foreigners, that it may seems shocking to them.
You can’t blame Filipinos if they’re family oriented, because from their perspective they experience first hand poverty and just grabbing the chance to help their family if they have the opportunity to do so.
It’s not just about who’s willing to help, and do this and this. It’s the gratitude from the conscience of the heart of the sons and daughters when they see how their parents strive so hard for them to survive from the very young age until then.
They woke up together being poor and as much as possible work hard TOGETHER until the day they became financially stable.
It’s not just about the culture it’s also about the experience
You have to be aware of utang na loob that occurs in poor families in the philippines and accept it, otherwise you won't have a relationship with a woman from there.