IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER! PLEASE READ: This video is not meant to diagnose anyone as a narcissist or having NPD. The goal is to educate on the difference between narcissistic glow (fake charm) and real confidence. If you relate to having fake charm, that alone doesn’t mean you are a narcissist-it could be a coping mechanism from past trauma. Remember, intention matters. Context matters. If someone uses fake charm to exploit others, that is harmful. But whether you find yourself doing it as a form of fawning, people-pleasing or for other reasons, please do not diagnose yourself or feel ashamed. If you’re concerned or struggling with this, it's important to seek help from a mental health professional.
I was literally thinking like “well damn I guess a am a little narcissistic” because I do a lot of these things but I don’t have the intentions of a narcissist.
2:27 "Real kindness means helping without wanting something back" is an accurate statement, BUT your generosity should have limits. It's entirely fair to recognize that you're always giving and someone else is always taking, and to cut them off because they give nothing back.
Exactly. If you are helping others without expecting that they are going to ask you for your help only when they really need it, you just make yourself a target of narcissistic abuse. One who always takes without offering anything back, is a narcissist. Co-dependence is mandatory for a healthy relationship. Relationships should be like teamwork and they should not have master-slave dynamics.
Real charm and confidence comes from genuine kindness, humility, and empathy, not from putting on a show and trying to outshine everyone. Narcissists are just creating an illusion like as if they have it all together in their lives, in order to cover up their flaws.
2:02 Savior complex. Heard this on another channel. "The narc who shoved you off the cliff and then swoops in to save you just before you hit the dround...is the same peeson."
Makes sense. Also very jealous people when people aren’t noticing. More words than actions. They draw people in with things they don’t even personally do like sharing videos of cool things to look cool.
This describes my first husband, spot on! It has been years since I divorced him, but I was still trying to understand his behavior. Now it all makes sense.
I feel like I needed to see this. I often am angered when I am lied to or deceived or when someone seems a bit self serving, but I feel like maybe I should try being more empathetic and remember it’s a disorder.
I believe that arrogance, entitlement and a lack of empathy aren't actually at the deepest level under the narcissist's facade. I believe that the deepest level is insecurity. Narcissists have hidden, fragile egos that they want to defend. Their fragile sense of self-worth is based largely upon how others interpret them. As such, they perceive a lack of desired contact with them as a threat to their entire self-esteem. That is why they are desperate to stay in control of a social situation, even if that means giving a person the silent treatment or displaying those other nasty behaviors mentioned -- it will feel to them as if they are still in control of the interaction. And, as such, able to shield their low self-esteem from damage.
That isn't real charisma. I've seen actual charisma before and narcissists don't have the real actual charisma. There's something about those charismatic characters that really inspires you to move to your best goal. They also inspire you to be your better best. Something I always admire them.
Fun fact, we are all somewhat narcissistic, so when the internet accuses everyone, all their ex and their mother of being narcissistic, they are right.
Ended up marrying a narcissist who used slick words and enigmatic appeal and our marriage lasted about a year and a half, literally as of this summer. I did all I could to work with them and forgive and be understanding… but sometimes you can’t. Have never been happier in all of my adult life.
@@Ruffdrummr “but sometimes you can't ”exactly. having a narcissistic family members, I can totally understand, no matter how hard we try to forgive and understand and keep quiet. sometimes it's intolerable. even we're humans. we’ve a limited tolerance level as well. have never been happy in my childhood as well. remember, it's okay to let out your emotions when you want to, and it's not your fault. please be happy! ◡̈
Same here! We are in the divorce process and might get our appointment at court next month. Never been happier in my life, since he caused me so much trauma by mental and physical abuse. I wish you all the best & happiness for your future! :)
It’s not the fault of a narcissist for being narcissistic. Narcissistic people are often insecure about their qualities, which is why they can become jealous when they see someone else's success or when their crush loves someone else. They seek external validation to feel confident and boost their self-esteem. Narcissists often present themselves as highly confident, but this can mask underlying insecurities. While they may appear self-assured and superior, their confidence is often fragile and dependent on external validation. Deep down, many narcissists lack true confidence in their abilities, which is why they may react strongly to criticism or perceived slights.
But, the problem is even if you continuously give validation, they won’t ever be satisfied and will expect you to give it to them. They don’t treat the people around them with honest intentions and care more about maintaining their image
@@cotovantre Yes, you are right. In that case, the narcissist should receive proper mental treatment so that they stop relying on external validation. But remember, change takes time and effort. Just as a cyclist didn’t learn to ride a bicycle in one day, a narcissist can’t overcome narcissism in one day. We should tolerate their behavior-tolerance is key. To be honest, I also relied on external validation at one time. I didn’t like any criticism from anyone about me. But after I learnt about self validation, If anyone criticizes me for my mistakes, I now take those criticisms into account and try to correct my mistakes instead of blaming those who criticized me.
It's their fault for doing nothing about it though and not seeking help especially if it hurts others or themselves. None of us can control all of what has happened to us or what we are born with, but we can always make ourselves better.
@@Rafsanul_Haq_96 You are not completely wrong but it is the narcissist's fault for being what they are. They exploit people who genuinely want to help them and then victimize themselves thinking they are the good people
My dad Rob is a narcissistic glow, he's extremely abusive and fools strangers into thinking he's not the problem but me and few others know his true attitude 😱🥺😵💫🤧😅
So frustrating and problematic for everyone who have to be around people like that. Frustrating too sometimes for anyone living in home with a physical address in the same city as a person like that after leaving them.
Yeah, so I am definitely neither Narcistic nor havin this glow. But little bit closer to attention seeker perhaps due my extrovert side. I learn a bit here
This showed me something else that'll probably be stuck rolling in my mind from now on. With especially the latter 4 points, I starting to witness a lack of trust between my peers. While these are all positive qualities that people say I have, I've never known for there to be these types of ulterior motives that can be behind them. I've never held those ulterior motives, and it feels like i care too much about others. It just comes from how i want to treat others who deserve kindness and respect, BUT I can see why people may be very skeptical about me for not appearing to have those ulterior motives, because the world has been so unkind that it feels normal and almost learned to expect them from anyone. For others reading this, if you have these more positive qualities and are fearing that they might be narcissistic, think about why you do those things. You may just find that it's what you do regardless of what you would ever get in return. That means you have the most genuine versions of being yourself and being kind.
Yeah. I've experienced people who were like this (You mentioned at the ending) although they don't fulfil the entire criteria recognized to be identified as Narcissists. Ex: - There was a student in our class who always called me for help but falsely saying the higher results than mine after telling my results as he asks about them 1st but later by accident I see something different from the result sheet.
It’s funny that my best friend is like this and now I understand why she always want to use me use people around her. I don’t know what I have to now. Those every sign .. well thank you for telling understanding what was going on me. I have been lonely, unlucky and feel like someone is taking my all luck , positivity and happiness. ❤❤ thank you
I really appreciate the beginning of this video showing empathy for Narcissists. Now where's that creature who said we don't need to facilitate them in the comment section? Don't you think that you were being too selfish? 1. Frankly, the problem I've is, doesn't it makes them get bullied by Sadists? I'm not diagnosed with NPD but people treated me like s**t for saying something that stems down to appreciate myself even though I wouldn't boast like they would. 2. -- 3. Honestly, there was a person who was doing this to me during the course of my abuse in the past but due to his nature it's hard to call him a successful Narcissist cause he's not so charming as you explained in the beginning. He's suffering from something else where he applies Saliva on to the body and doing rituals similar to OCD but I also have OCD but instead passing anything by any means to other I avoid getting contaminated at any way but rather he tried touching us(especially me for being too sensitive about his appearance and actions). Honestly this video is so great but I will never share it explicitly with anyone who associates with me because I feel like they would measure me inaccurately basing this video to spread rumors about me. 4. Can this behavior traumatize them turning them Narcissism into another psychiatric mental illness? Then, shouldn't actually kids learn about this at school so that they wouldn't get together promoting sadistic traits against those who're mentally ill. 5. A thing that I've experienced is those who show these traits are actually also clever but still arrogant. So, what is it called by the way....?
Survived from narc abuse,and ended in divorce.in three months he showed me everything.it was so painful to me thank God i left him.and when he realized i am no more in control in him he gave me divorce suddenly
I use to see fake people like this around and it baffled me how people really follow them like sheep. Wether they are literally insane or telling lies. People still follow.
Just a reminder, if you feel related to one or few of these things mentioned in the video it doesn't mean you're automatically narcissistic. Everyone has narcissistic traits and it's completely normal If you feel like you sometimes act like ways mentioned in this video
Timestamps 1). The spotlight addict 0:50 2). The slick wordsmiths 1:28 3). Narcissistic savior complex 2:00 4). Confidence 2:42 5). Enigmatic appeal 3:29 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
What if one checks those boxes, but while being empathetic and honest instead of unempathetic and dishonest? This video left me confused, I feel like I'm in between a fully transparent person and a narcissist. People say I'm charismatic but I don't do those things in a evil way and don't help others expecting to be helped. In fact I always expect to be betrayed.
I guess that would mean you're quite genuine in what you do, and maybe you have all these appealing traits not because you know they're appealing, but because you grew up having them.
0:27 Those 5 traits are what every western person / western culture is portrayed as worshipping/idolising, especially USA in western media, especially influencer culture.
People who have been pedestrians for a long time after living through the second world war some of whom are veterans too who are experts at acting the part of the female narcissist with narcissistic glow whenever they want to only when they have to walk outside alone. There are women around who have beaten all of the odds today like that. Like Jane Goodall who is not a veteran. In fact some military guys on occasion end up disguising themselves as having that set of qualities when they are at the time feeling afraid. A situation humorously being portrayed once in an American sitcom series about what all went on during the Vietnam war too which is called, "M.A.S.H."
Now i am worried that I might be a narcissist because i catch myslef at times being very entitled and envious and a lot of times i don't really care about other people.
Yeeeaaahhh, I Mean This Is How Others In Real Life Behave, I Personally Don't Like People Who Think Their Above Society Because Their Talent And Reputation
I can think of a handful of people...I accidentally made their mask slip and it was always over something minor they made massive fuss about. Then they acted gentle after a nasty blow up....just Ew.
@@Lolcoca 😂😂 I used to do the same thing lol now I look at comments on a psychology youtuber and think to myself, something is wrong here. I just can't put my finger on it 😂😂
@@Lolcoca How very narcisstic of me to say 😂 maybe demonising every aspect of the human condition isn't very good for our mental health. The irony that hides within plain sight.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER! PLEASE READ: This video is not meant to diagnose anyone as a narcissist or having NPD. The goal is to educate on the difference between narcissistic glow (fake charm) and real confidence. If you relate to having fake charm, that alone doesn’t mean you are a narcissist-it could be a coping mechanism from past trauma. Remember, intention matters. Context matters. If someone uses fake charm to exploit others, that is harmful. But whether you find yourself doing it as a form of fawning, people-pleasing or for other reasons, please do not diagnose yourself or feel ashamed. If you’re concerned or struggling with this, it's important to seek help from a mental health professional.
First!
I was literally thinking like “well damn I guess a am a little narcissistic” because I do a lot of these things but I don’t have the intentions of a narcissist.
I rather hate myself having past trauma.
They have a lot of confidence, but lack competence. They can talk the talk, but they can’t walk the walk.
Well said!!
5. The spotlight, bragging.
4. The slick wordsmith
3. Savior complex
2. Over confidence
1. Enigmatic appeal
2:27 "Real kindness means helping without wanting something back" is an accurate statement, BUT your generosity should have limits. It's entirely fair to recognize that you're always giving and someone else is always taking, and to cut them off because they give nothing back.
Everything we do is with an subconscious goal, as small as it can be (just for the good feeling of helping) it is still there
Narcissists do exploit people!
Exactly. If you are helping others without expecting that they are going to ask you for your help only when they really need it, you just make yourself a target of narcissistic abuse. One who always takes without offering anything back, is a narcissist. Co-dependence is mandatory for a healthy relationship. Relationships should be like teamwork and they should not have master-slave dynamics.
It's like a beautiful decorated box and you open it and there's nothing there.
“Gilded garbage” if you will.
It's something in there, definitely, but the smell will make you throw up. It's something you can't keep in the home.
Exactly like that
Well said
Real charm and confidence comes from genuine kindness, humility, and empathy, not from putting on a show and trying to outshine everyone. Narcissists are just creating an illusion like as if they have it all together in their lives, in order to cover up their flaws.
2:02 Savior complex. Heard this on another channel. "The narc who shoved you off the cliff and then swoops in to save you just before you hit the dround...is the same peeson."
im happy that they give a disclaimer about this not being against people with NPD.
Exactly. I’ve never seen that in a video like this before.
@@GamerSyke me neither. but narcissists deserve understanding and support too!
After watching the video, I think I might have a problem. I will work on myself, I don't wanna hurt others.
Hope this video helps! It's good to see that you have self awareness. Good luck on your healing journey!
@@Psych2go Thank you for spreading awareness.
I think I'm also like that,I sometimes show what I'm good at,thanks for teaching me about this os I can fix my mistakes
Makes sense. Also very jealous people when people aren’t noticing. More words than actions. They draw people in with things they don’t even personally do like sharing videos of cool things to look cool.
This describes my first husband, spot on! It has been years since I divorced him, but I was still trying to understand his behavior. Now it all makes sense.
Same. Look up HD Tudor. Excellent content on the narcissist. You have to search around the channel bc he does a lot of videos on Meghan Markel too
I feel like I needed to see this. I often am angered when I am lied to or deceived or when someone seems a bit self serving, but I feel like maybe I should try being more empathetic and remember it’s a disorder.
I believe that arrogance, entitlement and a lack of empathy aren't actually at the deepest level under the narcissist's facade. I believe that the deepest level is insecurity. Narcissists have hidden, fragile egos that they want to defend. Their fragile sense of self-worth is based largely upon how others interpret them. As such, they perceive a lack of desired contact with them as a threat to their entire self-esteem. That is why they are desperate to stay in control of a social situation, even if that means giving a person the silent treatment or displaying those other nasty behaviors mentioned -- it will feel to them as if they are still in control of the interaction. And, as such, able to shield their low self-esteem from damage.
That isn't real charisma. I've seen actual charisma before and narcissists don't have the real actual charisma. There's something about those charismatic characters that really inspires you to move to your best goal. They also inspire you to be your better best. Something I always admire them.
Fun fact, we are all somewhat narcissistic, so when the internet accuses everyone, all their ex and their mother of being narcissistic, they are right.
True there’s a spectrum but some people have NPD and some are just high on the spectrum
Ended up marrying a narcissist who used slick words and enigmatic appeal and our marriage lasted about a year and a half, literally as of this summer. I did all I could to work with them and forgive and be understanding… but sometimes you can’t. Have never been happier in all of my adult life.
@@Ruffdrummr “but sometimes you can't ”exactly. having a narcissistic family members, I can totally understand, no matter how hard we try to forgive and understand and keep quiet. sometimes it's intolerable. even we're humans. we’ve a limited tolerance level as well. have never been happy in my childhood as well. remember, it's okay to let out your emotions when you want to, and it's not your fault. please be happy! ◡̈
Same here! We are in the divorce process and might get our appointment at court next month. Never been happier in my life, since he caused me so much trauma by mental and physical abuse.
I wish you all the best & happiness for your future! :)
My boyfriend and I broke up on Thursday. This describes him to a T. I’m happy to know that I wasn’t crazy for feeling this way about him
first,, woahh feels special ✨ btw you're right on time!! i really needed this video.
It’s not the fault of a narcissist for being narcissistic. Narcissistic people are often insecure about their qualities, which is why they can become jealous when they see someone else's success or when their crush loves someone else. They seek external validation to feel confident and boost their self-esteem. Narcissists often present themselves as highly confident, but this can mask underlying insecurities. While they may appear self-assured and superior, their confidence is often fragile and dependent on external validation. Deep down, many narcissists lack true confidence in their abilities, which is why they may react strongly to criticism or perceived slights.
Well said
But, the problem is even if you continuously give validation, they won’t ever be satisfied and will expect you to give it to them. They don’t treat the people around them with honest intentions and care more about maintaining their image
@@cotovantre Yes, you are right. In that case, the narcissist should receive proper mental treatment so that they stop relying on external validation. But remember, change takes time and effort. Just as a cyclist didn’t learn to ride a bicycle in one day, a narcissist can’t overcome narcissism in one day. We should tolerate their behavior-tolerance is key. To be honest, I also relied on external validation at one time. I didn’t like any criticism from anyone about me. But after I learnt about self validation, If anyone criticizes me for my mistakes, I now take those criticisms into account and try to correct my mistakes instead of blaming those who criticized me.
It's their fault for doing nothing about it though and not seeking help especially if it hurts others or themselves. None of us can control all of what has happened to us or what we are born with, but we can always make ourselves better.
@@Rafsanul_Haq_96 You are not completely wrong but it is the narcissist's fault for being what they are. They exploit people who genuinely want to help them and then victimize themselves thinking they are the good people
My dad Rob is a narcissistic glow, he's extremely abusive and fools strangers into thinking he's not the problem but me and few others know his true attitude 😱🥺😵💫🤧😅
So frustrating and problematic for everyone who have to be around people like that. Frustrating too sometimes for anyone living in home with a physical address in the same city as a person like that after leaving them.
@@francesbernard2445 ikr I have no other choice but to live with him it's a nightmare we both work from home so it's hell on earth
Yeah, so I am definitely neither Narcistic nor havin this glow. But little bit closer to attention seeker perhaps due my extrovert side. I learn a bit here
My 68 year old mother and ex husband and baby father are definitely this smh.........
This showed me something else that'll probably be stuck rolling in my mind from now on. With especially the latter 4 points, I starting to witness a lack of trust between my peers. While these are all positive qualities that people say I have, I've never known for there to be these types of ulterior motives that can be behind them. I've never held those ulterior motives, and it feels like i care too much about others. It just comes from how i want to treat others who deserve kindness and respect, BUT I can see why people may be very skeptical about me for not appearing to have those ulterior motives, because the world has been so unkind that it feels normal and almost learned to expect them from anyone.
For others reading this, if you have these more positive qualities and are fearing that they might be narcissistic, think about why you do those things. You may just find that it's what you do regardless of what you would ever get in return. That means you have the most genuine versions of being yourself and being kind.
Yeah. I've experienced people who were like this (You mentioned at the ending) although they don't fulfil the entire criteria recognized to be identified as Narcissists.
Ex: - There was a student in our class who always called me for help but falsely saying the higher results than mine after telling my results as he asks about them 1st but later by accident I see something different from the result sheet.
It’s funny that my best friend is like this and now I understand why she always want to use me use people around her. I don’t know what I have to now. Those every sign .. well thank you for telling understanding what was going on me. I have been lonely, unlucky and feel like someone is taking my all luck , positivity and happiness. ❤❤ thank you
Yay I'm the first 8 people to like this also this channel helps me a lot with my social life
I really appreciate the beginning of this video showing empathy for Narcissists. Now where's that creature who said we don't need to facilitate them in the comment section? Don't you think that you were being too selfish?
1. Frankly, the problem I've is, doesn't it makes them get bullied by Sadists? I'm not diagnosed with NPD but people treated me like s**t for saying something that stems down to appreciate myself even though I wouldn't boast like they would.
2. --
3. Honestly, there was a person who was doing this to me during the course of my abuse in the past but due to his nature it's hard to call him a successful Narcissist cause he's not so charming as you explained in the beginning. He's suffering from something else where he applies Saliva on to the body and doing rituals similar to OCD but I also have OCD but instead passing anything by any means to other I avoid getting contaminated at any way but rather he tried touching us(especially me for being too sensitive about his appearance and actions).
Honestly this video is so great but I will never share it explicitly with anyone who associates with me because I feel like they would measure me inaccurately basing this video to spread rumors about me.
4. Can this behavior traumatize them turning them Narcissism into another psychiatric mental illness? Then, shouldn't actually kids learn about this at school so that they wouldn't get together promoting sadistic traits against those who're mentally ill.
5. A thing that I've experienced is those who show these traits are actually also clever but still arrogant. So, what is it called by the way....?
Survived from narc abuse,and ended in divorce.in three months he showed me everything.it was so painful to me thank God i left him.and when he realized i am no more in control in him he gave me divorce suddenly
This was on time ty
Where’s that lady -narrator Amanda Silvera. I love her voice.
I have noticed many people narcissists and they are so irritating they speak on their own without letting anyone express it’s own self
I use to see fake people like this around and it baffled me how people really follow them like sheep. Wether they are literally insane or telling lies. People still follow.
Oh hell yeah that's awesome thank 👏👏
I love your vids they help me so much thankyou
Just a reminder, if you feel related to one or few of these things mentioned in the video it doesn't mean you're automatically narcissistic. Everyone has narcissistic traits and it's completely normal If you feel like you sometimes act like ways mentioned in this video
Timestamps
1). The spotlight addict 0:50
2). The slick wordsmiths 1:28
3). Narcissistic savior complex 2:00
4). Confidence 2:42
5). Enigmatic appeal 3:29
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
2:00 That had happened to me. My former friend was like this.
Thank you!
Could have used this info at 23, when a narcissist broke my heart.
Well this happened to many influencers. They be needing lots of validation or else they're just branding themselves. Or both..
Real confisence means being yourself and believeing in your instinct
Also, you need to fullfil yourself first instead of seeking for others validation
What if one checks those boxes, but while being empathetic and honest instead of unempathetic and dishonest? This video left me confused, I feel like I'm in between a fully transparent person and a narcissist. People say I'm charismatic but I don't do those things in a evil way and don't help others expecting to be helped. In fact I always expect to be betrayed.
I guess that would mean you're quite genuine in what you do, and maybe you have all these appealing traits not because you know they're appealing, but because you grew up having them.
Really nice video!
0:27 Those 5 traits are what every western person / western culture is portrayed as worshipping/idolising, especially USA in western media, especially influencer culture.
People who have been pedestrians for a long time after living through the second world war some of whom are veterans too who are experts at acting the part of the female narcissist with narcissistic glow whenever they want to only when they have to walk outside alone. There are women around who have beaten all of the odds today like that. Like Jane Goodall who is not a veteran. In fact some military guys on occasion end up disguising themselves as having that set of qualities when they are at the time feeling afraid. A situation humorously being portrayed once in an American sitcom series about what all went on during the Vietnam war too which is called, "M.A.S.H."
Now i am worried that I might be a narcissist because i catch myslef at times being very entitled and envious and a lot of times i don't really care about other people.
Yeeeaaahhh, I Mean This Is How Others In Real Life Behave, I Personally Don't Like People Who Think Their Above Society Because Their Talent And Reputation
We need more a real kindness👍
Narcissists are soooooooo great, everyone doesn't think they're losers AT ALLLLLL
Yes, beware the Glowies :3
The difference is that narcissistic individuals are abusive.
Wow 😮
I can think of a handful of people...I accidentally made their mask slip and it was always over something minor they made massive fuss about.
Then they acted gentle after a nasty blow up....just Ew.
Looks like I'm a narcissist:(
We good
Thank you
pov: my cousin.... 😒
Where was this years into my situationship 😅
😷 some of these sounded just like the person i was seeing awhile ago...glad they're gone
Where's the old girl's voice :(
This is why I only like humble people
It's like putting glitter on a piece of dog shit.
Lmao😂
My family, friends and friends hubbies. Damn. They like to flaunt their possessions. Anything new, cool thing they get off to the socials they go.
"WAIT i'm like that"💀💀💀
We shouldnt demonize narcissists however their actions, thoughts and intentions are indeed demonic
This is true! LOSERS GET DUMPED!
Well I’m a narracist
❤
I feel stupid
Hi
Did not so great i wonder why get it
Am i narcissistic? 😢😢 i happen to do these things unknowingly? Idk i think i need help
Alot of these comments sound akin to bullying. I wonder what that also says about these, keyboard warriors?
😂🤣😂🤣
I was going to put one of the comments stupid like that but I abstained 😂🤣😂🤣
@@Lolcoca 😂😂 I used to do the same thing lol now I look at comments on a psychology youtuber and think to myself, something is wrong here. I just can't put my finger on it 😂😂
@@Lolcoca How very narcisstic of me to say 😂 maybe demonising every aspect of the human condition isn't very good for our mental health. The irony that hides within plain sight.
Walk away 😅
Hi, ❤
why did they just draw mk1 johnny cage
My ex...
how do you animate this video ??
Oh she definitely has fake confidence...
first!!!!!!!
Really ?
Narcissists are people too
First 🤍
LLEGUÉ TEMPRANOO, HOLA PSYCH2GO :D