✨ Plan your most intentional & successful year with the 2024 Artist of Life Workbook, a powerful guided journal for achieving your dream life → lavendaire.com/workbook
“I expected the world to be better” This is so me!! I have to remind myself every so often that not everyone has the same heart that I do. And that there’re things that I just can’t change. I can only do my part and be the change I’d like to see in the world.
It took me till age 40 to realize this. It's easy to be naive, especially if u were lucky enough raised in a healthy, moral environment. You expect everyone to operate under the general rules you were accustomed to. Big wakeup. There are some evil or misguided actors out there.
This is something that I get so frustrated thnking about especially since covid i get to know about so many racism/hate/discrimination stuffs on social media and as a person of color It's really decreasing my self-worth and killing my happiness. Im an INFJ and I cant stand injustice in this world and Im bein so sad all the time
I am an idealist too and get disappointed when people don't do better but I also don't want to be judging people and imposing my expectations on others, I respect free will so much. It's such a struggle and sometimes acceptance feels like giving up.
I feel that deeply! I try to give myself a reality check every now and then because I want to think truthly, no matter the outcome, more, than hold on to my idealism 🌿
I get disappointed and the whole day goes me worrying about it... expecting too much is something i should let go of... i should accept what is and be grateful for what is there with me and eventually more greater things will happen! 💛
@@boddapaduswathi2664 Baby steps. Start with self-acceptance and work your way from there, observe what you need to change in your life, like bad habits for example. Also, self-love is vital too.
I found that when I did this I actually enjoyed the process and challenges of learning and it reflected into my highest grades, rather than getting frustrated and hated studying
oof i struggle a lot with having expectations of other people. i think it's because i tend to be more on the giving side and just expect everyone else to be the same way. something i heard recently was "stop expecting you from other people" and it really changed my perspective. thank you for sharing Aileen! this is such an important message 💖
And here I thought I was the only one like this, it is so nice to know that there are other people like me too. And that quote is great thanks fo sharing
I have just stopped “giving” with the intention of getting something back. Instead I give, because it makes me feel good. And that is freeing ☺️ people will give back if they feel like it, and if they dont, thats fine too
Aileen has such a healing energy. I always find myself coming back to her videos bc her words are like medicine anytime I go through emotional turbulence 🥺
I had to learn to accept people for who they are.. It brings me a sense of peace because I know what they do and how they are so I can’t be mad at them.
This helped SOOOO much… my anxiety gets so high about things that are out of my control and that go against my expectations. Listening to each acceptance concept was very releasing of that anxiety and helped me to feel a sense of peace. I will be revisiting this video many times, I am sure! Thank you so much for all you do!
💕✨A little journaling to do after the video: 1. What are your expectations about yourself? Are they realistic? Where do they come from? 2. What are the expectations you have about others? Make examples. Were you hurt in the past because of your expectations? 3. What are your expectations about the world? Can you really change it or is it easier to accept?
Dude this is seriously helpful. I’m done setting expectations! I noticed myself doing it earlier with my boyfriend I expected him to react a certain way and he didn’t so I got upset lol. I had to ask myself why I expected him to be excited. And then I just accepted that he can feel however he wants. I like that I can control myself and just accept it. Accept, forgive, gratitude. Feel the pain then accept it & let go. ❤️ thank you this was very helpful to see it in this perspective.
After graduating college I had so much expectations to people I'm close to and to myself to the point that I always disappointed, burnout of trying to be perfect that I wanted to be, tired of caring so much to others and in deep sadness for feeling left behind and can't accept for who I am. But I learned that I have to accept the people I'm close to for who they are and accept that I can't change them. And learned to myself that there is always a room for change and I don't have to be too hard in myself, that I need to help and find myself, accept my situation in my life and be okay of the low points in the process of achieving a goal or something. I'm glad I experienced it because that lead me to discover and learn self-development, to have focus on myself rather than to others and to feel happy and peaceful within myself.
I was expected to be this funny person, the comedian of my friends group. Always had to be happy, and willing to go out and do whatever it is everyone else was doing. Meanwhile I was extremely depressed the whole time. I was expected to succeed In school and be a genius.it really broke me, I had a huge meltdown, after that I just let it all go. I stopped being what they wanted, I allowed myself to be openly sad. Told them all, I wasn't what they wanted. I lost those friends, but gained friends years later that accept and love me. I believed everyday I would have the friends i have now. It was through your videos that I broke free from that shell that was ruining my life! You're amazing and I love you. I'm so much happier and I watch your videos every time you upload!
Such a coincidence. I was going through situations regarding expecting people to be certain way. I felt universe is sending me answer through Aileen. All three categories of radical acceptance are helpful for my life. Thanks Aileen.
Being a realist has helped me realize that there are people like this. These expectations people have lead to toxic relationships and resentment. Understanding acceptance for everyone leads to better health and more happiness for everyone involved
I just want to say that I have watched this video over 20 times, I come back to it whenever I find myself needing to remind myself to ground in the present moment & accept everything as is, thank you for uploading! It truly has changed my life and the way I think & the way I view things! Much love from Illinois 🦋
Wow, that just brought me to tears (in a good way:) I tend to have a lot of expectations towards myself. But it’s so important to remind myself that I don’t need to be perfect in order to love and accept myself. Thank you for sharing, Aileen💞💞
I love learning from your experiences, Aileen. The way you're so honest and transparent with sharing the things you personally went through over all these years is appreciable. Honestly, you are one of the few UA-camrs who make my life better each time they upload.
"You allowing yourself to stay hurt by the hurtful actions that people have done to you in the past, that in a way is you not accepting reality." Thank you for this. I just recently left a pretty abusive relationship and everyone in my life doesn't understand why I'm not angry or bitter with him. That isn't the case. I feel like staying angry is staying stuck in your hurt and I really can't do that to myself. He simply wasn't who I expected him to be. It's okay to grieve. But I'm not angry because I reached acceptance.
This resonated with me so much! I always thought of acceptance as settling in life, but it's not like that at all. It is accepting where you are right now. Letting go of things in your past that you can not change and things in your present that you can not change. When you just accept everything in your life and move on, it allows you to see more clearly the positives in your life. And it allows you to move forward and create an amazing life, free from stress and negative emotions brought on by fixating on things you can not change!
You are my life savior, I was going through a lot , you always make me feel better , I studying things I had already learnt in school classes , and then I remembered all the bad things happened to me , I was so frustrated , but after watching this video ,I'm feeling calmness again .
I don’t know how you can read my mind! It’s a regular coincidence. Your weekly videos always match my state of mide. I am a big fan of you. You reshaped my thoughts in many ways. Take gratitude ❤️
love this concept, but i would love to add on that after acceptance comes the growth mindset :)) i think in times of hardship and pain, giving yourself the dialogue of acceptance is much easier said than done 😪 Putting into practice the mindset of “this was painful, but what can i learn from this experience” can also make you more resilient for the future times you have ethan recurring feeling ☺️ otherwise, you might be bottling yourself to not feel those emotions by telling yourself to just accept it~ just my personal thoughts from my own experience with this :)) love your content as always aileen ❤️
This reminds me of one quote that I read years ago "It is what it is." You can't change everything in your life but you can accept it how it is and make the best out of it.
This is such a great help for me. When I was not suffering, the concept sounded good but could not be registered in my head. But now that I’m going through suffering and listening to this again makes me realise that the concept makes so much sense. I tend to see people as nice people, but when their words are piercing it hurts so much. Then recalling the situation repeatedly causes much more suffering. That’s because I constantly struggle between my belief that they are nice and gentle and the reality that they are critical and aggressive. By accepting the reality, I can stop this cyclical struggle and move on. Thanks for the video.
Recently I also learn that when people point to us and say that we have not accepted them as how they are, they are actually doing the same to us. They have set expectation on us that we should behave in a certain way as evidence that we have accepted them as they are. Then they would repeatedly impose that concept on us when we are unable to treat them the way they want. This inflict pain and even cause self doubts when we care too much and try to meet their expectations. Both parties suffer in the end. So radical acceptance can help us to accept the fact that we can’t and do not have to live up to other people’s expectations and then let go.
The idealist in me really does struggle with the world, I always can come back to your content to give me some perspective though. I don't know how many times I will say this, but thank you!
I love how you talk in your videos lately... I feel YOU and I can see that topics you are focusing on are something that you really wanted to talk about with us.... 💜 Your messages in this video are golden ✨✨✨✨ thank you as always 💜💜💜💜
It makes sense with what I've been practising lately. Acceptance of what can't be controlled and then do what you can to give yourself peace we all yearn for. I saw the connection between acceptance and peace, and it probably would dissolve a lot of my guilt and resentments that weighs so much on my heart. Always loved your content, been watching you grow as well as I grow in my young adulthood. ♥️☺️
Me getting frustrated and disappointed by the actions of the world will not make even an ounce of difference in anything. The only thing one can control are one's own actions. So, it's only wise to do what u can and be at total peace with what others are doing. Pls like so that I get reminded of this realization again and again
Love your channel. I found it from your 10mn meditation videos. Something about your voice is incredibly soothing and calming. I learned meditation when I was going threw detox for Fentanyl and without it I don't think I would have the Sober time that I do. I have had to relearn how to be a person and I consider Meditation as my new foundation.
Dear Lavendaire, I've been experiencing really hard time lately. I was a trully happy girl but now a deppressed one. Today your video showed me the reason of my deppression. Acceptance.........I should accept the world, my father as you mentioned, and ofcourse myself with all limitations I have.Thanks for your efforts and all you do to make us happier and wiser
So Aileen is speaking on my life here. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💌 My mom died a month ago. My expectations vs accepting the reality that she's gone has been the largest battle. I thought she'd be there to go on summer cruises with, or whenever I walked down the aisle or got around to having children. There are so many memories I planned to have with her that can never happen now. And that's reality, neither good or bad just a fact. These feelings though, don't feel good. It is not an easy reality to walk in.
I really like the idea of radical acceptance for self and others. I think it could be very helpful in many relationships. And I’m definitely going to consciously try to think about it when I get upset. However, I’m not sure that I want anyone to radically accept injustices in the world. People seeing something wrong and getting upset about it motivates them to find a solution or change. There are people in the world who cannot stand up for themselves who need us to care that they are being mistreated and not accept it. Women, children, elderly, minorities, people with special needs.
I really needed this because yesterday i failed in something and I literally told myself "you don't deserve anything if you couldn't do this" I know that is really wrong
No way!! I been going through in a situation which made me frustrated and overwhelmed. This is what I needed.. really I love you Aileen 💛 Sending you loads of love ❤❤❤
thank you so much for sharing about this topic! I realize that I've always set a really high bar for myself and sometimes I just have to accept myself for who I am and not let the negative emotions like frustration and anger linger in my head
Recently I feel out with my mental health worker. She is rude, unprofessional, insulting, poorly prepared to help others with mental health abusive, and hasn't completed her training to assist emotionally challenged individuals. I expected her to be more than she was because she's in that position. I am learning that we, as a society, are short staffed for well qualified professionals. I have to accept that she did her best, it's not working, and I need to embrace gratitude for what was, accept the current situation, and make my plans for a full recovery after the trauma of her. I should have left dodge a long time ago. This relationship is toxic and messed up. so I need to leave - with a quickness.
Thank you so much for this video. It's just been days but I really felt calmer and more accepting after watching and reflecting on this video. I hope I can it consistently, but like you said "accept everything you are." 💖
when the first minute i watch this, i have distraction in my mind about how bad my dad as the lead of my family. i blame him and also blame the world, that is exactly when i start watch this video. but after i watch this, at the end i feel gratitude for that distraction because i feel like i have some problem in my mind and for a fews minutes i got the solution from God through this video. so i don't have to overthinking about it, i'm just accepted, let it go, and feel gratitude because i'm still have a dad whatever he is. i was delete the unnecessary suffering. thank you so much...
Exactly what I needed for now..I excelled self acceptance but not the other 2 . I often feel like I deserve more..small small things hurts mainly when family members are not understanding us. They are the ones we spent all our years with.. when they say we are wrong even when we think things are going good..it makes us feel like y ,y can't they understand me.... Thanks Aileen
Thank you so much for this video. I've heard of this concept of radical acceptance for the first time recently and am trying to understand it, and you presented the essentials in a such a simple, direct, and clear way that helped me to understand more. Thanks!
I had a deep talk with my friend last night about exactly those things we were frustrated about and we just didn't know how to find a solution - your video are all the answers to those things, your video is the solution. Thank you so much for this Aileen, just wanted to let you know, that this video has a huge impact on us. Sending you love & gratitude
I'm so happy that I discovered you when my vacation started. I made my time productive and motivated. You helped me a lot to make myself better. And now, I'm bothered and having a trouble mentally, thank you again for this.
you have no idea how much i needed to hear this. all of it. the universe is so aligned and i'm beyond grateful for it. this video helped me clear my head. i didn't sleep all night and it's 7:30 in the morning, here in india. i feel so good right now. thank you for this, i'm so grateful for you
This was such an interesting topic to hear today! Especially the last part about accepting the world for what it is. I'm glad that I'm already doing that and shouldn't feel bad about it! Thank you so much for your words Aileen! X
This was so very eye opening. It is such a hard concept to grasp, and I feel you helped to make it a little more clear for sure! Just when I would be getting lost in what you were saying you would bring it all back in place. Thank you for sharing and being such a beautiful human! ❤
Aileen, I actually got mad when I read the title of this video lol. My mind said, “its awful! I don’t want to accept it!” But I’m watching it again because this is what I need to hear right now. I’ve been struggling with accepting my sickness, where I am in life, my body not working normally, being autistic, and so much more.
i think i was meant to see this - especially rn. I've been really stressed about my final exams bc i turned in my last assignment pretty late (b/c i felt i needed the time to revise my work, b/c i can't bear turning in work that isn't good) and now, idk what my score will be. and I'm like scared of checking if he finalized grades or not b/c if he did, and he did so, before i sent in the assignment, my gpa will tank. and so its like idk these two competing expectations of creating excellent content and getting good grades hitting me rn. and so idk i just heard you link "worthiness, love, and approval" with "achievement and getting that A" hit so hard. b/c yeah that is me and I'm suffering for it lol. it feels like you're speaking directly to me and it's so validating
Really, I am very glad their r also other ppl like me 😢my good expectations also lead me down to many disappointment. I really need this right now. Keep the good work up like this👍 thank u😇
Got the notification of this video a few days back but I'm glad I watched it today which turned out to be the exact time I needed it the most. Thank you. Love from Nigeria.
you know what I was yesterday crying all night because of the same idea, nothing was meeting my expectations and today i just received an email from you talking about that :( donnu how much m grateful for you :(
Thank you Aileen for this video, it helps me as I realized that I've been having expectations of myself even when I'm at my lowest. I will try to accept more of myself from now on♥️
So true! Disappointment only exists when there’s EXPECTATION. And expectation is the opposite of acceptance. So much of it is really about giving up CONTROL! It’s an illusion anyway thinking any of us have control over anything. Great video, thanks for the reminder. 🙏
@@sheetalparmar3536 what about it? I think this doesn’t mean we give up setting goals and desires... I think it’s still important to set goals to achieve and move our lives in the direction we want to go... BUT! To give up attachment to any outcome. It’s putting in the work on our end but without expecting a result. Show up, do the thing, and TRUST in the process.
*i cant stop crying today and then i watched this upload. I'm still beating myself up but for the 14 minutes i watched this video I felt alittle better about my body image, my stuckness in life and depression.*
I totally understand where you are coming from. I am a true believer that life can only get better. I think that now is the time to dream of what we want to see in the world. The world is going through the same thing with different perspectives, yes. But this is a HUGE chance for CHANGE. I feel like if we just accept things the way they are, we will put ourselves at a standstill. I believe that monks have a caring loving heart and they are people (along with many others) that are truly changing the world just by existing. Truly. Certain people. But someone with influence, light, and love should not give away the peace no, but should also not give up on CHANGE. Things are changing, people are becoming more aware, and this is the time to see the change in the world. Literally "visualize" "attract" "magnetize" etc. a whole new world into view. Self-acceptance yes, but keep growing. World acceptance, perhaps, but don't just throw the towel in. Now is the time more than ever to have hope and faith that the world can and will be a better place. Perhaps do a "future world" instead of a "future me"... I don't know, just a suggestion. I've rewatched almost all of your videos and you have some good points. This is beautiful in a lot of ways, but please don't throw the towel into the hurt, the hungry, the neglected. NOW IS THE TIME FOR CHANGE. Truly. Please let me know if you read this and if you see where I am coming from. I hear you.... do you hear me? With love, gratitude, and light. Peace.
Dear Aileen , thank you so so much for this amazing advice ❤️ i trully needed it ! i got hurt and suffered a lot (because of my expectations, of myself & others) but your words were so freeing ❤️ i'm sure adopting this mindset will make my life a hundred times easier..you're an extremely inspiring person & i'm so grateful we have you in our lives ❤️
My grandma recently died and I do not have the best relationship with my mother, so I am kind of alone, I have no friends, but lavendier's ( i dont know if i spelled it right ) videos are providing me a lot of inner healing, so thank you so much for these videos
I am so disappointed with my 2 adult children who have turned out alcoholic and very neglectful just like my exhusb. I can't do a thing about it. I have to go on and enjoy others and I wish it was different with me and these kids but it isn't. They give their time to drinking and others so I know my life will be good if I can accept it and go on and enjoy others and my hobbies. I can't control. Realizing not accepting is harder on me than accepting the situation. I have found much relief with going away on holidays, doing the best I can. Thank you, just like you have to accept your Dad, I have to accept these kids. I wish it had gone a different way but it didn't. Feel it, let it go, accept reality.
Thanks fir sharing this. I got emotional easily, affected by other’s feeling and attitude. After watching your video, learn something new on radical acceptance. Just to let it go 💪🏻💪🏻
wow i kinda agree with this radical acceptance but sure i dont think it's that easy it needs practice cuz for me i find it hard not to let my mind running through thoughts of expectations i think this is really important and need to exist in our lives
Oh my God after watching this video I realised I left expecting from any body including my own self since many days and that’s true it set you free I hardly feel the pressure now thank you 🙏
So I am slowly climbing out of a mental breakdown after having COVID and dropping out of nursing school and I have to say, your channel is saving my life. So many things you said in this video clicked with me and made me understand myself so much better. Thank you for everything you do.
*To all the dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and right people, ANYTHING is possible.* 🙏🖤
U are amazing 🤠🙂. I will see ur comments here and there. U always radiate positivity and happiness through ur words. Somehow whenever I feel low, I come across your comments and that kind of energises me up. Thank u ☺️ buddy🤗🤗. Keep good work going
✨ Plan your most intentional & successful year with the 2024 Artist of Life Workbook, a powerful guided journal for achieving your dream life → lavendaire.com/workbook
A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be.
That nice 8]
Not the easiest practice but oh so powerful ☀️✨
True
THIS IS SOOOOO HARD THOUGH. I AM A COMPLETE CONTROL FREAK AND THIS IS THE HARDEST THING FOR ME!!
Yes, acknowledge it and keep going. If you put in the effort and have the right expectations you will be fine.
“I expected the world to be better” This is so me!! I have to remind myself every so often that not everyone has the same heart that I do. And that there’re things that I just can’t change. I can only do my part and be the change I’d like to see in the world.
Yuppp
So true
It took me till age 40 to realize this. It's easy to be naive, especially if u were lucky enough raised in a healthy, moral environment. You expect everyone to operate under the general rules you were accustomed to. Big wakeup. There are some evil or misguided actors out there.
This is something that I get so frustrated thnking about especially since covid i get to know about so many racism/hate/discrimination stuffs on social media and as a person of color It's really decreasing my self-worth and killing my happiness. Im an INFJ and I cant stand injustice in this world and Im bein so sad all the time
Yah exactly
I accept myself
I accept others
I accept reality
I am free!!!
Simple but lovely summary
I am an idealist too and get disappointed when people don't do better but I also don't want to be judging people and imposing my expectations on others, I respect free will so much. It's such a struggle and sometimes acceptance feels like giving up.
I feel that deeply! I try to give myself a reality check every now and then because I want to think truthly, no matter the outcome, more, than hold on to my idealism 🌿
I feel like you are my therapist sometimes 😩😂 you give the best advice 🌸
Hehe love u 💓
@@lavendaire Love u 3000 Lol 😁😂
I get disappointed and the whole day goes me worrying about it... expecting too much is something i should let go of... i should accept what is and be grateful for what is there with me and eventually more greater things will happen! 💛
Hey army
@@latapatil2659 Hey Army!💜
Hi ARMY
It happens to me to too. I start not to expect too much. I also start to enjoy things just the way they are.
@@hollynamjoon1083 Hi Army! Enjoying and accepting things just the way they are makes us more grateful and stress free! Keep going Army!💜
Law of attraction
*“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending...”*
*―C. S. Lewis*
love it❤️
@@sophiamac687 🙏🙏
But what to do when you don't know what to start and from where to start
@@boddapaduswathi2664 Baby steps. Start with self-acceptance and work your way from there, observe what you need to change in your life, like bad habits for example. Also, self-love is vital too.
this made me realise that i should rather give my best in my studies rather than expecting myself to be perfect at it.
tysm :)
🤩 go sistah ☀️
I found that when I did this I actually enjoyed the process and challenges of learning and it reflected into my highest grades, rather than getting frustrated and hated studying
oof i struggle a lot with having expectations of other people. i think it's because i tend to be more on the giving side and just expect everyone else to be the same way. something i heard recently was "stop expecting you from other people" and it really changed my perspective. thank you for sharing Aileen! this is such an important message 💖
I totally relate to this!!! I still have to learn because my emotions still get ahead of me
And here I thought I was the only one like this, it is so nice to know that there are other people like me too. And that quote is great thanks fo sharing
This resonates with me so much, too!
Wow, I love that saying 'stop expecting you from other people', definitely going to keep that one! Thanks for posting.
I have just stopped “giving” with the intention of getting something back. Instead I give, because it makes me feel good. And that is freeing ☺️ people will give back if they feel like it, and if they dont, thats fine too
Aileen has such a healing energy. I always find myself coming back to her videos bc her words are like medicine anytime I go through emotional turbulence 🥺
Amen sistah 🤗☀️
🥺💓
I really need this right now. Acceptance. Forgiveness. Gratitude.
"Increase appreciation, decrease expectation."
I had to learn to accept people for who they are.. It brings me a sense of peace because I know what they do and how they are so I can’t be mad at them.
It is so powerful, not easy!! But oh so powerful ☀️
This helped SOOOO much… my anxiety gets so high about things that are out of my control and that go against my expectations. Listening to each acceptance concept was very releasing of that anxiety and helped me to feel a sense of peace. I will be revisiting this video many times, I am sure! Thank you so much for all you do!
💕✨A little journaling to do after the video:
1. What are your expectations about yourself? Are they realistic? Where do they come from?
2. What are the expectations you have about others? Make examples. Were you hurt in the past because of your expectations?
3. What are your expectations about the world? Can you really change it or is it easier to accept?
Dude this is seriously helpful. I’m done setting expectations! I noticed myself doing it earlier with my boyfriend I expected him to react a certain way and he didn’t so I got upset lol. I had to ask myself why I expected him to be excited. And then I just accepted that he can feel however he wants. I like that I can control myself and just accept it. Accept, forgive, gratitude. Feel the pain then accept it & let go. ❤️ thank you this was very helpful to see it in this perspective.
Just when I was putting myself down and having a bad day, this video pops up on my feed!! Thank you soooo much for this :))
🤗☀️
After graduating college I had so much expectations to people I'm close to and to myself to the point that I always disappointed, burnout of trying to be perfect that I wanted to be, tired of caring so much to others and in deep sadness for feeling left behind and can't accept for who I am. But I learned that I have to accept the people I'm close to for who they are and accept that I can't change them. And learned to myself that there is always a room for change and I don't have to be too hard in myself, that I need to help and find myself, accept my situation in my life and be okay of the low points in the process of achieving a goal or something. I'm glad I experienced it because that lead me to discover and learn self-development, to have focus on myself rather than to others and to feel happy and peaceful within myself.
I was expected to be this funny person, the comedian of my friends group. Always had to be happy, and willing to go out and do whatever it is everyone else was doing. Meanwhile I was extremely depressed the whole time. I was expected to succeed In school and be a genius.it really broke me, I had a huge meltdown, after that I just let it all go. I stopped being what they wanted, I allowed myself to be openly sad. Told them all, I wasn't what they wanted. I lost those friends, but gained friends years later that accept and love me. I believed everyday I would have the friends i have now.
It was through your videos that I broke free from that shell that was ruining my life! You're amazing and I love you. I'm so much happier and I watch your videos every time you upload!
Such a coincidence. I was going through situations regarding expecting people to be certain way. I felt universe is sending me answer through Aileen. All three categories of radical acceptance are helpful for my life. Thanks Aileen.
Being a realist has helped me realize that there are people like this. These expectations people have lead to toxic relationships and resentment. Understanding acceptance for everyone leads to better health and more happiness for everyone involved
I just want to say that I have watched this video over 20 times, I come back to it whenever I find myself needing to remind myself to ground in the present moment & accept everything as is, thank you for uploading! It truly has changed my life and the way I think & the way I view things! Much love from Illinois 🦋
Wow, that just brought me to tears (in a good way:) I tend to have a lot of expectations towards myself. But it’s so important to remind myself that I don’t need to be perfect in order to love and accept myself. Thank you for sharing, Aileen💞💞
Im with you
I'm an idealist as well! And something you said really resonated with me is to not let the world take away my peace 🙏💗💗 thank you Aileen!! 🥰🥰
Yess ❤️❤️
you don't know how much you have helped in this video. thank you 100 times over.
I love learning from your experiences, Aileen. The way you're so honest and transparent with sharing the things you personally went through over all these years is appreciable. Honestly, you are one of the few UA-camrs who make my life better each time they upload.
"You allowing yourself to stay hurt by the hurtful actions that people have done to you in the past, that in a way is you not accepting reality." Thank you for this. I just recently left a pretty abusive relationship and everyone in my life doesn't understand why I'm not angry or bitter with him. That isn't the case. I feel like staying angry is staying stuck in your hurt and I really can't do that to myself. He simply wasn't who I expected him to be. It's okay to grieve. But I'm not angry because I reached acceptance.
This resonated with me so much! I always thought of acceptance as settling in life, but it's not like that at all. It is accepting where you are right now. Letting go of things in your past that you can not change and things in your present that you can not change. When you just accept everything in your life and move on, it allows you to see more clearly the positives in your life. And it allows you to move forward and create an amazing life, free from stress and negative emotions brought on by fixating on things you can not change!
You are my life savior, I was going through a lot , you always make me feel better , I studying things I had already learnt in school classes , and then I remembered all the bad things happened to me , I was so frustrated , but after watching this video ,I'm feeling calmness again .
I don’t know how you can read my mind! It’s a regular coincidence. Your weekly videos always match my state of mide. I am a big fan of you. You reshaped my thoughts in many ways. Take gratitude ❤️
1. Radical self acceptance
2. Radical self acceptance of others
3. Radical self acceptance of the world
Beautiful video as always :)
Thank you for reminding me again that expectation is not the reality😊
this is something that i took a lot of time to learn, we just need to accept where we are now & the moment ❤
I just want to say i love you girl, i got the good vibes from you everytime i listen to you
love this concept, but i would love to add on that after acceptance comes the growth mindset :)) i think in times of hardship and pain, giving yourself the dialogue of acceptance is much easier said than done 😪 Putting into practice the mindset of “this was painful, but what can i learn from this experience” can also make you more resilient for the future times you have ethan recurring feeling ☺️ otherwise, you might be bottling yourself to not feel those emotions by telling yourself to just accept it~ just my personal thoughts from my own experience with this :)) love your content as always aileen ❤️
I needed this. Reality vs. Wishing it were different.
Proper elaboration of “the truth will set you free”
This reminds me of one quote that I read years ago "It is what it is." You can't change everything in your life but you can accept it how it is and make the best out of it.
This is such a great help for me. When I was not suffering, the concept sounded good but could not be registered in my head. But now that I’m going through suffering and listening to this again makes me realise that the concept makes so much sense. I tend to see people as nice people, but when their words are piercing it hurts so much. Then recalling the situation repeatedly causes much more suffering. That’s because I constantly struggle between my belief that they are nice and gentle and the reality that they are critical and aggressive. By accepting the reality, I can stop this cyclical struggle and move on. Thanks for the video.
Recently I also learn that when people point to us and say that we have not accepted them as how they are, they are actually doing the same to us. They have set expectation on us that we should behave in a certain way as evidence that we have accepted them as they are. Then they would repeatedly impose that concept on us when we are unable to treat them the way they want. This inflict pain and even cause self doubts when we care too much and try to meet their expectations. Both parties suffer in the end. So radical acceptance can help us to accept the fact that we can’t and do not have to live up to other people’s expectations and then let go.
The idealist in me really does struggle with the world, I always can come back to your content to give me some perspective though. I don't know how many times I will say this, but thank you!
I love how you talk in your videos lately... I feel YOU and I can see that topics you are focusing on are something that you really wanted to talk about with us.... 💜 Your messages in this video are golden ✨✨✨✨ thank you as always 💜💜💜💜
🙌🏻😍
Thank you!
It makes sense with what I've been practising lately. Acceptance of what can't be controlled and then do what you can to give yourself peace we all yearn for. I saw the connection between acceptance and peace, and it probably would dissolve a lot of my guilt and resentments that weighs so much on my heart. Always loved your content, been watching you grow as well as I grow in my young adulthood. ♥️☺️
*Growth and change is painful, but nothing is painful as being stuck where you don't belong.*
Love from a small youtuber 🖤
You literally made me cry dude when you said accept your bad habits 😭🖤 you sound so sweet and beautiful in this video!
100% acceptance is among the first steps for proper meditation - without it, proper progress is impossible!
Me getting frustrated and disappointed by the actions of the world will not make even an ounce of difference in anything. The only thing one can control are one's own actions. So, it's only wise to do what u can and be at total peace with what others are doing.
Pls like so that I get reminded of this realization again and again
Love your channel. I found it from your 10mn meditation videos. Something about your voice is incredibly soothing and calming. I learned meditation when I was going threw detox for Fentanyl and without it I don't think I would have the Sober time that I do. I have had to relearn how to be a person and I consider Meditation as my new foundation.
Dear Lavendaire, I've been experiencing really hard time lately. I was a trully happy girl but now a deppressed one. Today your video showed me the reason of my deppression. Acceptance.........I should accept the world, my father as you mentioned, and ofcourse myself with all limitations I have.Thanks for your efforts and all you do to make us happier and wiser
So Aileen is speaking on my life here. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💌
My mom died a month ago. My expectations vs accepting the reality that she's gone has been the largest battle. I thought she'd be there to go on summer cruises with, or whenever I walked down the aisle or got around to having children. There are so many memories I planned to have with her that can never happen now. And that's reality, neither good or bad just a fact. These feelings though, don't feel good. It is not an easy reality to walk in.
I really like the idea of radical acceptance for self and others. I think it could be very helpful in many relationships. And I’m definitely going to consciously try to think about it when I get upset.
However, I’m not sure that I want anyone to radically accept injustices in the world. People seeing something wrong and getting upset about it motivates them to find a solution or change. There are people in the world who cannot stand up for themselves who need us to care that they are being mistreated and not accept it. Women, children, elderly, minorities, people with special needs.
Te sugiero que envíes un mensaje a este poderoso hechizo de amor que me ayude a atraer a mi ex después de la separación.
+2349047316390
무슨 알고리즘이 언니한테 나를 데려다줬는지는 모르겠지만 영상하나하나가 주옥같구 엄청 긍정적이네용 :->
뭔가 기분이 depression했을때 보면 쌍콤해질수있는 영상들,, I love you unni
I really needed this because yesterday i failed in something and I literally told myself "you don't deserve anything if you couldn't do this" I know that is really wrong
u look so beautiful in this video oh my 🥺✨ the colors wow
No way!! I been going through in a situation which made me frustrated and overwhelmed. This is what I needed.. really I love you Aileen 💛
Sending you loads of love ❤❤❤
thank you so much for sharing about this topic! I realize that I've always set a really high bar for myself and sometimes I just have to accept myself for who I am and not let the negative emotions like frustration and anger linger in my head
Recently I feel out with my mental health worker. She is rude, unprofessional, insulting, poorly prepared to help others with mental health abusive, and hasn't completed her training to assist emotionally challenged individuals. I expected her to be more than she was because she's in that position. I am learning that we, as a society, are short staffed for well qualified professionals. I have to accept that she did her best, it's not working, and I need to embrace gratitude for what was, accept the current situation, and make my plans for a full recovery after the trauma of her. I should have left dodge a long time ago. This relationship is toxic and messed up. so I need to leave - with a quickness.
Thank you so much for this video. It's just been days but I really felt calmer and more accepting after watching and reflecting on this video. I hope I can it consistently, but like you said "accept everything you are." 💖
How in the world did this come at the exact moment it was needed 😳😌
Te sugiero que envíes un mensaje a este poderoso hechizo de amor que me ayude a atraer a mi ex después de la separación....
when the first minute i watch this, i have distraction in my mind about how bad my dad as the lead of my family. i blame him and also blame the world, that is exactly when i start watch this video. but after i watch this, at the end i feel gratitude for that distraction because i feel like i have some problem in my mind and for a fews minutes i got the solution from God through this video. so i don't have to overthinking about it, i'm just accepted, let it go, and feel gratitude because i'm still have a dad whatever he is. i was delete the unnecessary suffering. thank you so much...
nah cuz sometimes ur videos really be making me emotional. I really appreciate them!!
Watching this before my phone died
"You are who you are" and my screen turns black and i see myself. Almost teared
Exactly what I needed for now..I excelled self acceptance but not the other 2 . I often feel like I deserve more..small small things hurts mainly when family members are not understanding us. They are the ones we spent all our years with.. when they say we are wrong even when we think things are going good..it makes us feel like y ,y can't they understand me....
Thanks Aileen
Thank you so much for this video. I've heard of this concept of radical acceptance for the first time recently and am trying to understand it, and you presented the essentials in a such a simple, direct, and clear way that helped me to understand more. Thanks!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference
This is REAL wisdom...easy to listen to but needs lot of implementation to make it work! Loads of love Aileen, thank you as always!! xoxo 🌻💚
Very helpful! You’re a very wise young lady. It has taken me literally years to realize this. Thank you for sharing!
It’s good to have expectations and let life flow at the same time. Hard balance for sure. Also not allowing emotions to depend on the outcomes.
Reach out on directly on whtsapp for guide
+1(7(5(7(3(0(2(1(7(8(9.
This saved me from deciding to end my life today. Thank you, Aileen. You are an angel. I hope one day, I can share my story too...
You are loved and strong 💓 nothing is worth the pain
you and everyone are still changing the world every day
I had a deep talk with my friend last night about exactly those things we were frustrated about and we just didn't know how to find a solution - your video are all the answers to those things, your video is the solution. Thank you so much for this Aileen, just wanted to let you know, that this video has a huge impact on us. Sending you love & gratitude
I'm so happy that I discovered you when my vacation started. I made my time productive and motivated. You helped me a lot to make myself better. And now, I'm bothered and having a trouble mentally, thank you again for this.
Your voice is so calming 🧡🧡💫👌🏻
you have no idea how much i needed to hear this. all of it. the universe is so aligned and i'm beyond grateful for it. this video helped me clear my head. i didn't sleep all night and it's 7:30 in the morning, here in india. i feel so good right now. thank you for this, i'm so grateful for you
Te sugiero que envíes un mensaje a este poderoso hechizo de amor que me ayude a atraer a mi ex después de la separación.........
This was such an interesting topic to hear today! Especially the last part about accepting the world for what it is. I'm glad that I'm already doing that and shouldn't feel bad about it! Thank you so much for your words Aileen! X
🤷🏻♀️ We definitely mistake expectation for 🌸 intention ☀️
This is what I have been struggling with! You said it so well and healed my pain. Thank you so much for your time and effort making this video!
This was so very eye opening. It is such a hard concept to grasp, and I feel you helped to make it a little more clear for sure! Just when I would be getting lost in what you were saying you would bring it all back in place. Thank you for sharing and being such a beautiful human! ❤
Aileen, I actually got mad when I read the title of this video lol. My mind said, “its awful! I don’t want to accept it!” But I’m watching it again because this is what I need to hear right now. I’ve been struggling with accepting my sickness, where I am in life, my body not working normally, being autistic, and so much more.
+1(7(5(7(3(0(2(1(7(8(9
I'll advice you reach out directly on whtsapp for guide
i think i was meant to see this - especially rn. I've been really stressed about my final exams bc i turned in my last assignment pretty late (b/c i felt i needed the time to revise my work, b/c i can't bear turning in work that isn't good) and now, idk what my score will be. and I'm like scared of checking if he finalized grades or not b/c if he did, and he did so, before i sent in the assignment, my gpa will tank. and so its like idk these two competing expectations of creating excellent content and getting good grades hitting me rn. and so idk i just heard you link "worthiness, love, and approval" with "achievement and getting that A" hit so hard. b/c yeah that is me and I'm suffering for it lol. it feels like you're speaking directly to me and it's so validating
Really, I am very glad their r also other ppl like me 😢my good expectations also lead me down to many disappointment. I really need this right now. Keep the good work up like this👍 thank u😇
Thank you for this video! Today the Universe is talking to me through you lips… I really needed to hear something like that right now ❤❤❤
Bang on time ! Your video today is a sign from Universe to me that all is well! I am taken care of :-) Thank you so very much ! Love and light
☀️✨✨
Got the notification of this video a few days back but I'm glad I watched it today which turned out to be the exact time I needed it the most. Thank you. Love from Nigeria.
On whtsapp for guide
+1(7(5(7(3(0(2(1(7(8(9
you know what I was yesterday crying all night because of the same idea, nothing was meeting my expectations and today i just received an email from you talking about that :( donnu how much m grateful for you :(
I felt like I was listening to myself. My thoughts and emotions exactly!
Thank you Aileen for this video, it helps me as I realized that I've been having expectations of myself even when I'm at my lowest. I will try to accept more of myself from now on♥️
I'm actually having kind of a hard time rn and this video really helped me! So thank you from the bottom of my heart for your amazing content!
So true! Disappointment only exists when there’s EXPECTATION. And expectation is the opposite of acceptance. So much of it is really about giving up CONTROL! It’s an illusion anyway thinking any of us have control over anything. Great video, thanks for the reminder. 🙏
But I have a thought that then what about The Secret (the law of attraction )
@@sheetalparmar3536 what about it? I think this doesn’t mean we give up setting goals and desires... I think it’s still important to set goals to achieve and move our lives in the direction we want to go... BUT! To give up attachment to any outcome. It’s putting in the work on our end but without expecting a result. Show up, do the thing, and TRUST in the process.
*i cant stop crying today and then i watched this upload. I'm still beating myself up but for the 14 minutes i watched this video I felt alittle better about my body image, my stuckness in life and depression.*
I pray to universe that you may heal soon..keep your head up girl...life will get better.. good things are on your way..
@@nikitarijal5922 thank you Nikita! I need all the prayers.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I am a true believer that life can only get better. I think that now is the time to dream of what we want to see in the world. The world is going through the same thing with different perspectives, yes. But this is a HUGE chance for CHANGE. I feel like if we just accept things the way they are, we will put ourselves at a standstill. I believe that monks have a caring loving heart and they are people (along with many others) that are truly changing the world just by existing. Truly. Certain people. But someone with influence, light, and love should not give away the peace no, but should also not give up on CHANGE. Things are changing, people are becoming more aware, and this is the time to see the change in the world. Literally "visualize" "attract" "magnetize" etc. a whole new world into view. Self-acceptance yes, but keep growing. World acceptance, perhaps, but don't just throw the towel in. Now is the time more than ever to have hope and faith that the world can and will be a better place. Perhaps do a "future world" instead of a "future me"... I don't know, just a suggestion. I've rewatched almost all of your videos and you have some good points. This is beautiful in a lot of ways, but please don't throw the towel into the hurt, the hungry, the neglected. NOW IS THE TIME FOR CHANGE. Truly. Please let me know if you read this and if you see where I am coming from. I hear you.... do you hear me? With love, gratitude, and light. Peace.
Dear Aileen , thank you so so much for this amazing advice ❤️ i trully needed it ! i got hurt and suffered a lot (because of my expectations, of myself & others) but your words were so freeing ❤️ i'm sure adopting this mindset will make my life a hundred times easier..you're an extremely inspiring person & i'm so grateful we have you in our lives ❤️
My grandma recently died and I do not have the best relationship with my mother, so I am kind of alone, I have no friends, but lavendier's ( i dont know if i spelled it right ) videos are providing me a lot of inner healing, so thank you so much for these videos
I am so disappointed with my 2 adult children who have turned out alcoholic and very neglectful just like my exhusb. I can't do a thing about it. I have to go on and enjoy others and I wish it was different with me and these kids but it isn't. They give their time to drinking and others so I know my life will be good if I can accept it and go on and enjoy others and my hobbies. I can't control.
Realizing not accepting is harder on me than accepting the situation. I have found much relief with going away on holidays, doing the best I can. Thank you, just like you have to accept your Dad, I have to accept these kids. I wish it had gone a different way but it didn't. Feel it, let it go, accept reality.
Thanks fir sharing this. I got emotional easily, affected by other’s feeling and attitude. After watching your video, learn something new on radical acceptance. Just to let it go 💪🏻💪🏻
Thank you for this video
Te sugiero que envíes un mensaje a este poderoso hechizo de amor que me ayude a atraer a mi ex después de la separación.
+2349047316390
wow i kinda agree with this radical acceptance but sure i dont think it's that easy it needs practice cuz for me i find it hard not to let my mind running through thoughts of expectations i think this is really important and need to exist in our lives
I've only just discovered your channel and love your videos. They're so soothing.
Oh my God after watching this video I realised I left expecting from any body including my own self since many days and that’s true it set you free I hardly feel the pressure now thank you 🙏
So I am slowly climbing out of a mental breakdown after having COVID and dropping out of nursing school and I have to say, your channel is saving my life. So many things you said in this video clicked with me and made me understand myself so much better. Thank you for everything you do.
*To all the dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and right people, ANYTHING is possible.* 🙏🖤
U are amazing 🤠🙂. I will see ur comments here and there. U always radiate positivity and happiness through ur words. Somehow whenever I feel low, I come across your comments and that kind of energises me up. Thank u ☺️ buddy🤗🤗. Keep good work going