That was a very thoughtful and thorough explanation. It's good to hear an intelligent and mature Woman use logic the way you do and articulates her views constructively and respectfully the way you do. It's not a wonder that you are happily Married. Great commentary.
If we could get away from Materialism and Status Seeking, we would have a better chance of getting what we really need from one another, is what I'm hearing you say. I agree. You're a Wise Woman.
Thank you. I’ve wanted to talk about relationships on my channel for YEARS just didn’t know where to begin. My hope is for everyone who desires love and marriage to achieve it. But yes, we’ve got to shift the focus away from superficial things and toward reality.
@@ItsMeMissRuby It may take some time to build up a large following, but you are doing good work. You will help those that are ready. Can't worry about the ones that are not. Have faith Sister.
What do you do when you’re giving men with potential a chance and they’re still dropping the ball? The expectation is that if you’re with a man when he’s down he’s supposed to reward that loyalty with commitment and loyalty in turn. This never has worked in my favor. The “HENRYS” or men with potential are just as non-committal.
Honestly I believe strongly in trusting God to lead by giving you the discernment to know if/when to accept potential and when not to. Doing things God’s way requires selflessness, knowing that you’re doing something for a reason greater than your personal reward system, so if you’re not always benefited by the deed, you can rest peacefully knowing God’s will was still complete. For instance…. Henry shows up on your doorstep & you think, “hmm, is this the one?” Instead of moving ahead on your own you pray about it, ask God to reveal whatever you need to know at that moment…. God will either show you a blatant red flag (something about the guy that encourages sin) or a green light, and because you are proceeding with God’s will in mind d over your own, you know that yoking yourself w/ANY man means forming a union that glorifies Christ… it becomes easy to distinguish true potential over willful naivety 😬 So u proceed and at that point, no matter the outcome you are not jaded. And somehow God rewards you anyway, either with the eventual husband or a lesson that prepares you for him. I know that was long, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg…. Podcast coming soon so we can talk more about it
I went through this as well...and for twenty YEARS I waited, and I literally cried tears from all the Henry's that came and went because I didn't think they could be partner material. I had all this love to give, and nobody to give it to!! So frustrating!! But I wasn't going to open my life or my 2 children's lives, to a man that was going to cause drama...so I waited and worked on myself, my children, and my faith. In God's time I was rewarded with just the perfect man for me! Have been super happily married for 5 years now. So don't give up hope, it really can happen. Just work on being the best woman you can be, and some wonderful man will notice. God will make sure of it!! 💗💐🙏💐💗
Some of these "high value" men are narcissist 😅😅 they will not treat you with respect and they don't see anything with their inability to be accountable
I think you misunderstood Kevin. He clearly stated high value men are usually never faithful since they have lots of options. The women that come on his show all want high value. He even tries to encourage women dating average income earners.
I hear you. It's not that I've misunderstood him, it's that I know many women are misunderstanding him. I think these women THINK they want high earning men but don't actually understand what they're signing themselves up for. I can tell Kevin is trying to redirect them, but he's talking to them like they're men and are turning more of them off than actually changing their minds. This is my attempt to say "sis, you might need to redefine what high value means to you, and aim for that, cuz otherwise you'll likely get a cheater, and clearly that's not what you want." Make sense? I know I can be all over the place
The focus should always becoming "high value" as an individual and you're vibration will always match that energy. You're drawn magnetically to "high value" ❣️
I’ve been trying to figure out how women choose their mating strategy but your id say rare one of the one that chose the path to get your one right out of the gate and was fine with him not being Mr. perfect. From factors I’ve seen is does she have a father? Did she and her mom respect him? Did the woman have a 304 phase? What we have are a lot of women choosing the open hypergamy route where they look for fun in their earlier years and then want to get serious after they reached an competition anxiety Epiphany. Also it makes things harder when a woman waits and climbs the social economic ladder because hypergamy floats.
Yes I've been hearing a lot of talk about hypergamy lately...though prior I'd never heard of it. I'd say my decision to focus on God first made it to where I didn't particularly need a strategy, just faith and obedience. If that makes sense. But yes, sadly, what you are saying seems to be the more common reality.
I think the idea of high value man puts what women want into context. The HENRY or HVM is likely fairly boring due to time constraints needed to walk the path. Some women need attention. To solve this issue a less financially capable guy may buy flowers and a movie. A financially well off guy may offer to take a weekend trip. (I think most women want the option even if they choose a movie) How many Netflix weekends can a woman endure before the weekend trips to Jamaica? Similarly, a man may need to divert time and energy to level up or protect their status. Can the build without having to tend to a demanding relationship? Balancing financial demands and relationships is the mental Calculus a man needs. Too many times this has to be done without appropriate mentorship.
I hear you. I think about this often in my marriage. From my perspective, it’s balancing doing what I can financially to contribute so that my husband, though ambitious, doesn’t have to devote himself so much to “leveling up” that he doesn’t have any time/energy for me, AND not doing SO much that I’m so stressed I can’t maintain being a pleasant wife to come home to. I knew I wanted the attention so I was willing to wait on the trips to Jamaica. Lol. But yes, I want both. 😂😩 Most women do. Which is why it’s NECESSARY this expectation be put into context. Necessary that we have these very uncomfortable conversations so that hopefully, we can all be better off TOGETHER.
I guess she attempted to differentiate between a high value man meaning wealthy vs a man of high moral a familly values. Money has nothing to do with morals. A hard working man who is dedicated to the relationship and family is more important to those of similar moral standards. Too many men like too many women find it more important to sleep around in today's day and age. As a result theyre no longer considered a good partner to those of us with morals. Proof is in the realization that divorce rates drop from 51 to 25% when a couple makes over 250k a year. At this income cheating is usually just as if not more prevelant but they have more to lose so stay married. I do not consider this evidence of morality..in fact just the opposite.
I hate that I know this, but Kevin samuels doesn’t necessarily consider athletes, entertainers as high value men. It depends on how you make and/or use your money. Thus it makes the pool of men even smaller. Not sure why this is the case, but I believe it’s because his experience is from being in a corporate environment, so these are the type of people he usually interact with.
Wait, what? LOL. I guess I can’t be surprised but I am. Can you link me to the video where he talks about this… If you get a chance? Also, just curious, why do you “hate that you know this?“ I have a feeling the answer is going to be hilarious
ua-cam.com/video/YHfRQWG3874/v-deo.html around 25 minute mark he breaks it down. I thought I heard him say it in this but it was most likely a comment I read and I associated with him. He has crazy male followers and I don’t want to seem like I’m part of that group 😅
Oh ok. Got it. Lol Yeah I understand. I’ve always wondered if he considers that group “high value” or not so that’s why I was asking. If you do come across him saying it, be sure to come back here and link it, please.
*I hate that I know this, but Kevin samuels doesn’t necessarily consider athletes, entertainers as high value men.* Because they usually come into money quickly and the entertainment environment is completely different than what most people will ever be a part of.
I think women and men need to focus necessity not wants. Some people just want a partner to boast about amongst their friends. I don't think any of us want to live out the rest of our days alone.
We need a video on teaching women how to be wives. It’s sad, but too many women are not being taught and most of them don’t care to learn. I can’t fathom why this is still one of the least talked about things in the black community.
Right! It’s not that I think women would be against it, I just think, in general, we need to be reminded of the value. We are very narcissistic times… me me me! We are all on this wave of “ I Gotta do ME. What can you do for ME? Etc.“ when the attention shifts back to “what can I do for YOU?” It requires us to humble ourselves… Thereby becoming more considerate about the fact that it is not easy to become successful in the first place… And if we had each other to build with, we’d both increase our odds of gaining the outcomes that we desire.
It's J; All the best Miss Ruby to you and your family! Can't wait for your 1M views, subscribes, etc. I am an author of a holistic guide to human nature so I have delved rather deep into topics such as your video. It's true that 'modern women' are attracted to glamour, bright colors, shiny things and gadgets, etc. So that they also seek these things in relations. How many 'plain janes' do you know who have lots of friends? Something or someone who is 'highly valued' reflects the values of the person doing the evaluating (no?) I could go further on the topic but I'll leave it for a future article. Keep doing what you're doing. I'll be launching my book soon and I'll keep you posted. Peace and Best Wishes for your continued success!
Another angry 1 smh. His point is to point women to men that aren't HVM. That's why they get shut down and he says go back to their "Henry". Instead of retaliating to the men speaking up against the BS feminism done to women of our culture try talking from a place of light and union. God bless
Kevin Samuel's it not somebody that should be agreed with in anyway , he has done interviews saying how black women are the least attractive and masculine, he has given false statistics and acted like he's speaking from facts. He's not encouraging women to be with normal guys , he's tearing women down especially black women. He has no respect for women and he's a narcissist He's showing women that are gold diggers how to snag elite men. He's not for women are the community. His message isn't being lost , his message is completely harmful , to young women and older women. Nothing in his message is acceptable .
High value isn't money or power
That was a very thoughtful and thorough explanation. It's good to hear an intelligent and mature Woman use logic the way you do and articulates her views constructively and respectfully the way you do. It's not a wonder that you are happily Married. Great commentary.
If we could get away from Materialism and Status Seeking, we would have a better chance of getting what we really need from one another, is what I'm hearing you say. I agree. You're a Wise Woman.
Thank you. I’ve wanted to talk about relationships on my channel for YEARS just didn’t know where to begin.
My hope is for everyone who desires love and marriage to achieve it. But yes, we’ve got to shift the focus away from superficial things and toward reality.
@@ItsMeMissRuby It may take some time to build up a large following, but you are doing good work. You will help those that are ready. Can't worry about the ones that are not. Have faith Sister.
What do you do when you’re giving men with potential a chance and they’re still dropping the ball? The expectation is that if you’re with a man when he’s down he’s supposed to reward that loyalty with commitment and loyalty in turn. This never has worked in my favor. The “HENRYS” or men with potential are just as non-committal.
Honestly I believe strongly in trusting God to lead by giving you the discernment to know if/when to accept potential and when not to. Doing things God’s way requires selflessness, knowing that you’re doing something for a reason greater than your personal reward system, so if you’re not always benefited by the deed, you can rest peacefully knowing God’s will was still complete.
For instance…. Henry shows up on your doorstep & you think, “hmm, is this the one?” Instead of moving ahead on your own you pray about it, ask God to reveal whatever you need to know at that moment….
God will either show you a blatant red flag (something about the guy that encourages sin) or a green light, and because you are proceeding with God’s will in mind d over your own, you know that yoking yourself w/ANY man means forming a union that glorifies Christ… it becomes easy to distinguish true potential over willful naivety 😬
So u proceed and at that point, no matter the outcome you are not jaded. And somehow God rewards you anyway, either with the eventual husband or a lesson that prepares you for him.
I know that was long, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg…. Podcast coming soon so we can talk more about it
I went through this as well...and for twenty YEARS I waited, and I literally cried tears from all the Henry's that came and went because I didn't think they could be partner material. I had all this love to give, and nobody to give it to!! So frustrating!! But I wasn't going to open my life or my 2 children's lives, to a man that was going to cause drama...so I waited and worked on myself, my children, and my faith. In God's time I was rewarded with just the perfect man for me! Have been super happily married for 5 years now. So don't give up hope, it really can happen. Just work on being the best woman you can be, and some wonderful man will notice. God will make sure of it!!
💗💐🙏💐💗
Some of these "high value" men are narcissist 😅😅 they will not treat you with respect and they don't see anything with their inability to be accountable
Agreed
I think you misunderstood Kevin. He clearly stated high value men are usually never faithful since they have lots of options. The women that come on his show all want high value. He even tries to encourage women dating average income earners.
I hear you. It's not that I've misunderstood him, it's that I know many women are misunderstanding him. I think these women THINK they want high earning men but don't actually understand what they're signing themselves up for. I can tell Kevin is trying to redirect them, but he's talking to them like they're men and are turning more of them off than actually changing their minds. This is my attempt to say "sis, you might need to redefine what high value means to you, and aim for that, cuz otherwise you'll likely get a cheater, and clearly that's not what you want."
Make sense? I know I can be all over the place
A god fearing man should be the goal.
AMEN!
I watch your videos.you do great hair.thanks for your tutorials.
@@ritatolbert6395 aww thank you so much
Amazing video, message and testimony. You and your husband are very fortunate, it's so rare to build a loving marriage today.
Thank you. We are definitely fortunate. All praises to God!
Love this MISS Ruby!!! I shared on my Facebook because I totally agree with everything you said in this video....
Oh wow yay! Thank you so much
The focus should always becoming "high value" as an individual and you're vibration will always match that energy. You're drawn magnetically to "high value" ❣️
Yup
I apologize. I didn't. I posted it early then tried to delete right after the post when I realized.
Awesome video and breakdown. I completely agree.
Thank you!
@@ItsMeMissRuby welcome
Good points. I disagree with the male body count comment because some women like new cars over used ones with too many miles.
Hmm you know what? That’s probably true. 🤔I’ve just never heard a woman speak about it. Thank you for sharing.
I’ve been trying to figure out how women choose their mating strategy but your id say rare one of the one that chose the path to get your one right out of the gate and was fine with him not being Mr. perfect.
From factors I’ve seen is does she have a father? Did she and her mom respect him? Did the woman have a 304 phase?
What we have are a lot of women choosing the open hypergamy route where they look for fun in their earlier years and then want to get serious after they reached an competition anxiety Epiphany.
Also it makes things harder when a woman waits and climbs the social economic ladder because hypergamy floats.
Yes I've been hearing a lot of talk about hypergamy lately...though prior I'd never heard of it. I'd say my decision to focus on God first made it to where I didn't particularly need a strategy, just faith and obedience. If that makes sense. But yes, sadly, what you are saying seems to be the more common reality.
I think the idea of high value man puts what women want into context.
The HENRY or HVM is likely fairly boring due to time constraints needed to walk the path. Some women need attention. To solve this issue a less financially capable guy may buy flowers and a movie. A financially well off guy may offer to take a weekend trip. (I think most women want the option even if they choose a movie)
How many Netflix weekends can a woman endure before the weekend trips to Jamaica?
Similarly, a man may need to divert time and energy to level up or protect their status. Can the build without having to tend to a demanding relationship?
Balancing financial demands and relationships is the mental Calculus a man needs. Too many times this has to be done without appropriate mentorship.
I hear you. I think about this often in my marriage. From my perspective, it’s balancing doing what I can financially to contribute so that my husband, though ambitious, doesn’t have to devote himself so much to “leveling up” that he doesn’t have any time/energy for me, AND not doing SO much that I’m so stressed I can’t maintain being a pleasant wife to come home to.
I knew I wanted the attention so I was willing to wait on the trips to Jamaica. Lol. But yes, I want both. 😂😩 Most women do.
Which is why it’s NECESSARY this expectation be put into context. Necessary that we have these very uncomfortable conversations so that hopefully, we can all be better off TOGETHER.
Thank you for your contribution
I guess she attempted to differentiate between a high value man meaning wealthy vs a man of high moral a familly values. Money has nothing to do with morals. A hard working man who is dedicated to the relationship and family is more important to those of similar moral standards. Too many men like too many women find it more important to sleep around in today's day and age. As a result theyre no longer considered a good partner to those of us with morals. Proof is in the realization that divorce rates drop from 51 to 25% when a couple makes over 250k a year. At this income cheating is usually just as if not more prevelant but they have more to lose so stay married. I do not consider this evidence of morality..in fact just the opposite.
I hate that I know this, but Kevin samuels doesn’t necessarily consider athletes, entertainers as high value men. It depends on how you make and/or use your money. Thus it makes the pool of men even smaller. Not sure why this is the case, but I believe it’s because his experience is from being in a corporate environment, so these are the type of people he usually interact with.
Wait, what? LOL. I guess I can’t be surprised but I am. Can you link me to the video where he talks about this… If you get a chance? Also, just curious, why do you “hate that you know this?“ I have a feeling the answer is going to be hilarious
ua-cam.com/video/YHfRQWG3874/v-deo.html around 25 minute mark he breaks it down. I thought I heard him say it in this but it was most likely a comment I read and I associated with him.
He has crazy male followers and I don’t want to seem like I’m part of that group 😅
Oh ok. Got it. Lol Yeah I understand. I’ve always wondered if he considers that group “high value” or not so that’s why I was asking. If you do come across him saying it, be sure to come back here and link it, please.
*I hate that I know this, but Kevin samuels doesn’t necessarily consider athletes, entertainers as high value men.*
Because they usually come into money quickly and the entertainment environment is completely different than what most people will ever be a part of.
Thank you for this queen
You are so welcome ☺️ Thank you for joining the discussion
I think women and men need to focus necessity not wants. Some people just want a partner to boast about amongst their friends. I don't think any of us want to live out the rest of our days alone.
I believe you're right ✅
Thank you.
We need a video on teaching women how to be wives. It’s sad, but too many women are not being taught and most of them don’t care to learn. I can’t fathom why this is still one of the least talked about things in the black community.
I got you
@@ItsMeMissRuby 🙏🏾.
ok!!! what happened to building together!!
Right! It’s not that I think women would be against it, I just think, in general, we need to be reminded of the value. We are very narcissistic times… me me me! We are all on this wave of “ I Gotta do ME. What can you do for ME? Etc.“ when the attention shifts back to “what can I do for YOU?” It requires us to humble ourselves… Thereby becoming more considerate about the fact that it is not easy to become successful in the first place… And if we had each other to build with, we’d both increase our odds of gaining the outcomes that we desire.
How many women think like this compared to women 50 years ago? Marriage and family are not a priority with younger people. It’s career, money etc…
@@oeckstei sadly.
It's J;
All the best Miss Ruby to you and your family! Can't wait for your 1M views, subscribes, etc. I am an author of a holistic guide to human nature so I have delved rather deep into topics such as your video. It's true that 'modern women' are attracted to glamour, bright colors, shiny things and gadgets, etc. So that they also seek these things in relations. How many 'plain janes' do you know who have lots of friends? Something or someone who is 'highly valued' reflects the values of the person doing the evaluating (no?) I could go further on the topic but I'll leave it for a future article. Keep doing what you're doing. I'll be launching my book soon and I'll keep you posted. Peace and Best Wishes for your continued success!
Another angry 1 smh. His point is to point women to men that aren't HVM. That's why they get shut down and he says go back to their "Henry".
Instead of retaliating to the men speaking up against the BS feminism done to women of our culture try talking from a place of light and union. God bless
I’m curious, did you watch the video?
@@ItsMeMissRuby. He didn’t.
$10,000 a month = High Value Man !!!
That's not HVM. you missed the point
I'm proud of you. I watched your whole glow from day 1 on UA-cam.
Omg that means so much! Thank you thank you 🙏🏽🥰
@@ItsMeMissRuby kevinferere if you don't recall
Ayyyee waddup Kev! Yeah I remember you. What you got going on these days?
@@ItsMeMissRuby I'm still in these YT streets. Putting up my internet television show instead of vlogging like I used to.
Kevin Samuel's it not somebody that should be agreed with in anyway , he has done interviews saying how black women are the least attractive and masculine, he has given false statistics and acted like he's speaking from facts. He's not encouraging women to be with normal guys , he's tearing women down especially black women. He has no respect for women and he's a narcissist He's showing women that are gold diggers how to snag elite men. He's not for women are the community. His message isn't being lost , his message is completely harmful , to young women and older women. Nothing in his message is acceptable .
Thank you for your comment