r/Technicallythetruth | uh... that's not what that means

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  • Опубліковано 2 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,3 тис.

  • @dustincasey1000
    @dustincasey1000 5 років тому +1330

    If you ever get locked out of your house just talk calmly to it remember communication is key

    • @drkmyst1fy475
      @drkmyst1fy475 4 роки тому +8

      XD

    • @themontageofscafell5512
      @themontageofscafell5512 4 роки тому +47

      this says otherwise
      www.google.com/search?q=otherwise&safe=strict&rlz=1CAVARX_enGB899&sxsrf=ALeKk00Wbv1Mw1C52YGDxVeYfVght5s9eg:1594809885717&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiZs-Plic_qAhVKShUIHbiMB4AQ_AUoAXoECA8QAw&biw=1920&bih=929#imgrc=rJ4Btiiks1Q32M

    • @affanrifqy5364
      @affanrifqy5364 4 роки тому +17

      @@themontageofscafell5512 i hate you

    • @themontageofscafell5512
      @themontageofscafell5512 4 роки тому +13

      I'll admit it wasn't very original.

    • @affanrifqy5364
      @affanrifqy5364 4 роки тому +6

      @@themontageofscafell5512 it was obvious

  • @christiantemple7138
    @christiantemple7138 5 років тому +437

    "In which battle did Napoleon die?"
    He didn't die in a battle, he died from Stomach Ulcer on Saint Helena

    • @username_error7424
      @username_error7424 4 роки тому +17

      Christian Temple It would be funnier if the answer was, ‘his last battle’.

    • @Nabbee85
      @Nabbee85 4 роки тому +42

      Yeah but he was "battling" stomach ulcer, so technically...

    • @parakeetiscool7647
      @parakeetiscool7647 4 роки тому +11

      Christian Temple his ego died at Waterloo

    • @josepherhardt164
      @josepherhardt164 4 роки тому +1

      And there have been recurrent rumors of him being poisoned there, as well. BTW, St. Helena is well-covered in a Googlemaps satellite view--zoom in and take a vicarious visit.

    • @thatoneguy7024
      @thatoneguy7024 4 роки тому +3

      He died in a battle with stomach

  • @Xyriax
    @Xyriax 5 років тому +652

    Damien's laugh is the sole reason I'm happy

    • @noodle4498
      @noodle4498 5 років тому +4

      Xyriax I’m 14 and this is deep

    • @antonymilne1346
      @antonymilne1346 5 років тому +6

      It's such a nice laugh

    • @Pekieee
      @Pekieee 5 років тому +2

      That sounds like a fucking sad life buddy, hope you find a way to be happy after Damian inevitably dies and you're left on earth with a horrid depression. Best of luck. Also, i am a rappr

    • @Xyriax
      @Xyriax 5 років тому +6

      @@Pekieee 🤡

    • @huesofkai
      @huesofkai 5 років тому

      A masterpiece of a profile pic

  • @nerdothn892
    @nerdothn892 4 роки тому +623

    The swimming pool on the Titanic is still filled with water

    • @ivanvelez6958
      @ivanvelez6958 4 роки тому +15

      r/Technicallythetruth

    • @cupcakelove7964
      @cupcakelove7964 4 роки тому +6

      Wow, you're so smart. I didn't know that.

    • @nail5872
      @nail5872 4 роки тому +3

      Ye e t

    • @drawwithcoco9501
      @drawwithcoco9501 4 роки тому +3

      @@nail5872 beautiful name!

    • @austinm.9832
      @austinm.9832 4 роки тому +3

      But it didn't have a swimming pool...
      Edit: I just learned it actually did in fact have a swimming pool, one of the first actually.

  • @kcculla
    @kcculla 5 років тому +1855

    Damien: *Is emkay
    Damien: *narrates daily meme dose on the cowbelly studios channel
    Me: "This.. does put a smile on my face"

  • @offbrandauditor1351
    @offbrandauditor1351 5 років тому +650

    I would listen to damien's laugh for 1 hour. It's too precious.

  • @bambii-_
    @bambii-_ 5 років тому +2550

    i cant wait for my daily dose of ethically farmed 100% organic Damien laughter

    • @Dutchman-2002
      @Dutchman-2002 5 років тому +30

      Bruh his laugh is a thousands tortured souls all screaming at once

    • @Caesar.X
      @Caesar.X 5 років тому +11

      yeah that wheeze is so fkn good

    • @bigal9056
      @bigal9056 5 років тому +6

      Me too

    • @shapetick4096
      @shapetick4096 5 років тому +1

      @@williambingleton9661 cant? You mean can?

    • @bardockssj708
      @bardockssj708 5 років тому +4

      *orgasmic

  • @dotdankory
    @dotdankory 4 роки тому +612

    friends are like apples,
    you throw them away after you finish eating them

  • @mr.qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcv3077
    @mr.qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcv3077 5 років тому +458

    a fraction is a division problem. So, the calculator pulled a “right back at ya, buckaroo”

    • @SummersTimelyCringe
      @SummersTimelyCringe 4 роки тому +12

      Y e s
      Also the answer is 4.75,
      I didn't search it up.

    • @mynamesnotimportant6941
      @mynamesnotimportant6941 4 роки тому +11

      That calculator has a conversion button on it to convert it to decimals btw
      I have a similar calculator :)

    • @aidenruizrussell934
      @aidenruizrussell934 4 роки тому +1

      Than u

    • @PrezJoFlo
      @PrezJoFlo 4 роки тому +3

      You know, I was going to write a comment explaining that too, but then I saw this. Congrats, you’re right. :D

    • @tomasstieringer3786
      @tomasstieringer3786 4 роки тому +1

      Phoenix, The IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT GETS IT LESSS GO!!!

  • @zaneyy1359
    @zaneyy1359 5 років тому +2551

    Are we gonna ignore the fact that my boi EmKay got so many subs because of his laugh?

    • @jacktheripper2660
      @jacktheripper2660 5 років тому +29

      Have you never looked in any other comment section on his channel?

    • @AdamAdver
      @AdamAdver 5 років тому +7

      Adam Of The Adams Family no.

    • @jacktheripper2660
      @jacktheripper2660 5 років тому +3

      @ADAMATIONS 2.O
      No, what?

    • @AdamAdver
      @AdamAdver 5 років тому +6

      Adam Of The Adams Family I have not

    • @swedewtf
      @swedewtf 5 років тому +4

      Zaneyy r/technicallythetruth

  • @CS-dj9co
    @CS-dj9co 5 років тому +396

    Damien: laughs
    *[Everyone liked that]*

  • @amothinspace3873
    @amothinspace3873 4 роки тому +65

    I wouldn’t call an egg a child since it’s most often unfertilised, I’d say it’s more close to periods

    • @asmallyoutube
      @asmallyoutube 3 роки тому +4

      So eggs, in conclusion, hide period blood in them?

    • @Iveraxi
      @Iveraxi 2 роки тому +1

      @@asmallyoutube chicken eggs are different from human eggs

  • @Ruzovy_
    @Ruzovy_ 5 років тому +148

    5:41
    So basically it's saying.. 19 divided by 4 = 19 divided by 4
    It's just another way you can write it lol..

    • @OddSifr
      @OddSifr 5 років тому +5

      And the expected answer would be 4.75
      Still funny when your own calculator trolls you though

    • @indestructiblebedrock7549
      @indestructiblebedrock7549 4 роки тому

      or 4 Remainder 3

    • @愛-m8l6l
      @愛-m8l6l 4 роки тому

      And the meme is a man sarcastically appreciating the "right answer".

    • @schmulie14
      @schmulie14 4 роки тому +1

      What about the buffalo??

    • @josepherhardt164
      @josepherhardt164 4 роки тому

      19 / 4 yields nineteen fourths. There ya go.

  • @eden4279
    @eden4279 5 років тому +234

    Me: Hah you can't touch me, im listening to Damien's Laugh 24h
    Depression: Darn he got me

  • @movementman9777
    @movementman9777 5 років тому +655

    If you drink pool water you’re drinking human broth.

    • @8bitPikachu
      @8bitPikachu 5 років тому +35

      and poisonous chlorine with some pee in there too

    • @genevieve2106
      @genevieve2106 5 років тому +13

      Chef Excellence what if you have a pool only for you and you’ve never peed in it

    • @prettybigpengus
      @prettybigpengus 5 років тому +3

      Fair enough

    • @whistist
      @whistist 5 років тому +3

      first of all Nice
      second of all how could you say something so controversial while being brave

    • @Cinnamon_Rolls_Out_Of_The_Oven
      @Cinnamon_Rolls_Out_Of_The_Oven 5 років тому

      I nearly threw up

  • @thoughtsofagremlin1036
    @thoughtsofagremlin1036 4 роки тому +141

    19 divided by 4 is 19 divided by 4.
    Person: I don’t get it me
    Me: *has crashed*

    • @washieboy1805
      @washieboy1805 4 роки тому +3

      No it is 18÷4+1÷4

    • @Project_VideoGame
      @Project_VideoGame 4 роки тому +2

      19/4
      16/4 + 3/4
      3/4 = 3.00/4 = 0.75
      The answer is 4.75

    • @achtsekundenfurz7876
      @achtsekundenfurz7876 3 роки тому +2

      "What is x if x² = 25? Explain."
      x=5, just cancel the 2's on both sides, _duuuuhh_

    • @mari-with-a-gun
      @mari-with-a-gun 3 роки тому +2

      @@Project_VideoGame cool

    • @eleanorcooke7136
      @eleanorcooke7136 3 роки тому +2

      @@achtsekundenfurz7876 actually it's +5 and -5 but the joke still kinda works

  • @sycco42
    @sycco42 5 років тому +170

    the calculater just tells you *19:4 = 19/4* instead of *4.75*
    so its technically the truth but doesn't help if u need the 4.75

    • @sixthsurge
      @sixthsurge 5 років тому +10

      Press SD

    • @814jonny
      @814jonny 5 років тому +1

      No shit

    • @soggyfries3689
      @soggyfries3689 5 років тому +8

      ye its big brain time

    • @sycco42
      @sycco42 5 років тому +9

      @@814jonny Damien asked :D

    • @andrewguillen278
      @andrewguillen278 5 років тому

      Yea that’s kinda the point of technically the truth

  • @pumpkinoligarchy6626
    @pumpkinoligarchy6626 5 років тому +96

    6:26 The beauty of that is that I can’t tell if it’s a depression joke or a global warming joke

    • @natebit7167
      @natebit7167 5 років тому

      Obviously global warming

    • @thatoneguy7024
      @thatoneguy7024 4 роки тому

      I felt a sinking feeling when it was said.

  • @chrismmar2118
    @chrismmar2118 5 років тому +467

    Remember the days on UA-cam when you didn't have to censor guns?

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 5 років тому +7

      @@noob6292 and even HELL NO IT'S NOT EVEN A SWEAR SUSAN FREAKING I KNOW THIS IS ALSO FOR KIDS BUT GOD DAMN FIX IT
      I'M A FREAKING CHRISTIAN AND I DONT THINK HELL IS A SWEAR WORD

    • @emirhanozturk4042
      @emirhanozturk4042 5 років тому

      @@seantaggart7382 parents do

    • @LU-C4
      @LU-C4 5 років тому +5

      @@seantaggart7382 Fun Fact: "Hell" is also the german word for "bright". I wonder how many people have gotten into trouble because of that.

    • @bavarianmapper4566
      @bavarianmapper4566 5 років тому +5

      When there was a revolver emoji instead of a water gun

    • @imarock.7662
      @imarock.7662 5 років тому

      @@bavarianmapper4566 Fucking facts.
      People are way too sensitive now.

  • @sleepy_clover7361
    @sleepy_clover7361 4 роки тому +49

    Actually eggs are not the most popular form of child to eat. Eggs sold in stores specifically for consumption have not been fertilized, meaning there is no actual child growing inside the egg

    • @TheUmbrellaEngine
      @TheUmbrellaEngine 4 роки тому

      @Random User 000⁰

    • @mikhailgorbachev7851
      @mikhailgorbachev7851 4 роки тому

      R/wooosh

    • @Sasael
      @Sasael 3 роки тому +6

      Technically an egg is not a child, is a period. We eat hen menstruation.

    • @professorfukyu744
      @professorfukyu744 3 роки тому

      So its veal?

    • @manxgirl
      @manxgirl 3 роки тому +1

      Quail eggs are often fertilized before they are harvested and bought for consumption.

  • @thequantumfluff7854
    @thequantumfluff7854 5 років тому +514

    “Damien: oh that’s funny.” *2 seconds later* “Damien: I hate it”
    Thanks For the 100 likes! The most I’ve had!! ❤️❤️

  • @BBelugawhale
    @BBelugawhale 5 років тому +113

    “Not safe for work”
    *Damien, doing his voiceover job*

  • @gamingfedora7866
    @gamingfedora7866 5 років тому +168

    Florida: **discovers cure for cancer**
    EmKay: Of course its Florida

    • @nightvalleyart
      @nightvalleyart 5 років тому +3

      omg gaming fedora I haven't seen you in so long, i was meaning to catch up with you my dude, you might remember me , my ocs name was torch?

    • @thenightjackal
      @thenightjackal 5 років тому

      @@nightvalleyart ok nerd

    • @nightvalleyart
      @nightvalleyart 5 років тому +3

      @@thenightjackal wtf dude , this is an internet friend I haven't met in years wth is your problem

    • @thenightjackal
      @thenightjackal 5 років тому

      @@nightvalleyart it seems like you're offended that I called you out
      neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrd

    • @sstormed
      @sstormed 5 років тому +6

      The Night Jackal grow up, this is really wholesome and these guys don't need a 13 year old sloppy tortilla ruining it.

  • @petrescuework-difficultcas6581
    @petrescuework-difficultcas6581 4 роки тому +52

    10:56 "Go to hell"
    "Bork"
    "You even upset my dog!"
    Aww no, not the upset pupper 😫

  • @xs2196
    @xs2196 5 років тому +538

    r/technicallythetruth is just the dad jokes of reddit

    • @StardustCorvid
      @StardustCorvid 4 роки тому +12

      especially if dads post it

    • @althepal234
      @althepal234 4 роки тому +5

      Daddy

    • @Nuclearburrit0
      @Nuclearburrit0 4 роки тому +14

      What's r/dadjokes then?

    • @casey653
      @casey653 4 роки тому +15

      @@Nuclearburrit0 the r/technicallythetruth of reddit

    • @Da_Swifta
      @Da_Swifta 4 роки тому +3

      is r/dadjokes a thing? If not it should be.

  • @ukariah
    @ukariah 5 років тому +236

    Minecraft only died to people who let it. Minecraft never died for me

  • @tempolynnrealofficial
    @tempolynnrealofficial 5 років тому +291

    Hair can’t be fossilized
    So Dinosaurs could have very well had afro’s and mohawks

    • @Cream_Drinker
      @Cream_Drinker 5 років тому +2

      Elle & Tempolyn! I feel weird reading rhis

    • @DeathDealer_1021
      @DeathDealer_1021 5 років тому +2

      REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    • @haanaamonotonedmajintimepa8105
      @haanaamonotonedmajintimepa8105 5 років тому +5

      Well hair does decay after a while which is why we found the original mammals based of the fact the rock around the has imprints and patterns from fur

    • @grumpytoilet4449
      @grumpytoilet4449 5 років тому +1

      Wave check

    • @moondrop784
      @moondrop784 5 років тому

      Elle & Tempolyn! Yes

  • @sumairairfan737
    @sumairairfan737 3 роки тому +17

    How to fly up thirty stairs:
    Step 1
    Step 30

    • @Travinater
      @Travinater 3 роки тому +1

      Ayo that’s teleportation

  • @XD-nj7vm
    @XD-nj7vm 5 років тому +100

    Emkay: I like the elbow joke.
    R6 Fans: Um, actually-

  • @c0smo709
    @c0smo709 5 років тому +312

    Fun fact!
    Whoever dies, is dead

    • @legendarytat8278
      @legendarytat8278 5 років тому +17

      You know it's dark outside when it's dark outside

    • @abbassabdallah9429
      @abbassabdallah9429 5 років тому +1

      hey thats not fair

    • @TrashDeviant
      @TrashDeviant 5 років тому +3

      Life needs things to live

    • @Kjajo
      @Kjajo 5 років тому +6

      *Laughs in jesus*

    • @onyxxartist
      @onyxxartist 5 років тому +11

      People die when they are killed

  • @auroraandmarshmallow2581
    @auroraandmarshmallow2581 5 років тому +2030

    Person: *yells* HOMOSEXUALS ARE GAY
    Me: *yells* HETEROSEXUALS ARE STRAIGHT
    Edit: it's 8 months later, this isn't funny, stop

  • @chickennugget1165
    @chickennugget1165 4 роки тому +232

    I don’t know why but I like Damien’s voice more than Zack’s voice

  • @thexplodenator3007
    @thexplodenator3007 5 років тому +65

    6:39 Objection: the eggs we buy at the store are not fertilized, and have no baby in them.
    (They’re literally chicken periods)

    • @-bananaberry-6424
      @-bananaberry-6424 4 роки тому +1

      The Xplodenator ..p..periods..?..

    • @thatoneguy7024
      @thatoneguy7024 4 роки тому

      Then why is that all of the eggs I buy get pregnant, I always thought it wouldn’t work if they were already cooked

    • @idontevenknowwhy3655
      @idontevenknowwhy3655 4 роки тому +3

      I told my friends this when i was 12 and i remember them getting really freaked out

    • @jeltevl8868
      @jeltevl8868 Рік тому

      As somebody who studied biology for a bit in the past: Birds dont have periods. Because periods are the effect off a body breaking down the egg inside them when it loses its fertility.
      The body breaking down the egg cells is what causes the bleeding and the stomach ache and what we call a period.
      But birds dont break down their infertile eggs they poop it out. So they dont have periods.

  • @clem-lv2rw
    @clem-lv2rw 5 років тому +44

    6:41 Seeing as most of the eggs you buy weren't fertilised in the first place, it actually is the most popular form of ovum to eat.
    So yeah.

    • @Rammers06
      @Rammers06 5 років тому +6

      clem3806 😮☝️. 😐✊

  • @ryanm_218
    @ryanm_218 5 років тому +456

    No one knows "The elbow drop" is a rainbow six siege meme no one knows its sad
    Edit: H O L U P

    • @z3ryx393
      @z3ryx393 5 років тому +15

      Well, you know about it. Hope that makes you a bit happier :D

    • @thomasb3363
      @thomasb3363 5 років тому +23

      As a fuze main, I really need that meme template...

    • @mrsweeetrussianchild1914
      @mrsweeetrussianchild1914 5 років тому

      Meh knows

    • @rustyscrewdrivr
      @rustyscrewdrivr 5 років тому +4

      ThatOneBoi TM fuze use explosive hockey pucks and explodes hostage

    • @loafofloafs
      @loafofloafs 5 років тому +1

      ThatOneBoi TM people do but ok

  • @birdyboy5218
    @birdyboy5218 4 роки тому +311

    0:00
    Well technically to fall down the stairs it would be:
    Step 12
    Step 6
    Step 2
    Step 1
    OMG 130 LIKES YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!

    • @White_Roams
      @White_Roams 4 роки тому +8

      6:45

    • @GoldballIndustries
      @GoldballIndustries 4 роки тому +7

      you forgot step 0, step 0, qnd step 0

    • @linwithawin1310
      @linwithawin1310 4 роки тому +3

      BirdyBoy fall up*

    • @smittenmeteor6315
      @smittenmeteor6315 4 роки тому +6

      Hey you forgot step *-5843874* where you descend to the underworld

    • @earth3882
      @earth3882 4 роки тому +2

      I’ve fallen going upstairs no this is not a joke I got a black eye I went from
      Step 1
      Step 2
      Step 3
      Step 6
      Step 5
      Step 4
      Step 5
      Step 6
      Step 7
      Step 8

  • @PsyKwol
    @PsyKwol 5 років тому +130

    If you view all of EmKay’s videos you’ll slowly notice that he’s aging in *reverse*

  • @dyeonnighsus
    @dyeonnighsus 5 років тому +354

    Now I don't know if I've clicked on a cowbelly vid or an emkay vid

    • @MASKACID
      @MASKACID 5 років тому +3

      cheyenne jones lol samr

    • @czrp315
      @czrp315 5 років тому +7

      I came here for these comments

    • @turbogoblin8232
      @turbogoblin8232 5 років тому +1

      Does it matter

    • @aniyamcneil8663
      @aniyamcneil8663 5 років тому +7

      You know you've made it far when you're subbed to both

    • @chaster_mief
      @chaster_mief 5 років тому +10

      EmBelly

  • @fridge-ghost
    @fridge-ghost 5 років тому +68

    Me: *sees twenty one pilots*
    My brain: no Dont
    My family: no don’t do it-
    Me: *blasts migraine while screeching*

    • @thatoneguy7024
      @thatoneguy7024 4 роки тому +4

      Me: sees twenty one pilots
      My brain: then who’s flying those planes
      The buildings in the background: blasts into pieces while screeching

    • @LUVlildeath420
      @LUVlildeath420 4 роки тому +3

      Me: *sees twenty one pilots*
      Also me: *smiles and thinks about how much I love them*

    • @thatonestukapilot6086
      @thatonestukapilot6086 4 роки тому

      😐

    • @zQoQz
      @zQoQz 4 роки тому +1

      JOSHUA DUNNNNN

    • @skyriver9525
      @skyriver9525 4 роки тому

      Even though you posted this 11 months ago, YES

  • @5vtte855
    @5vtte855 4 роки тому +17

    *the calculator just didn’t feel like solving the problem*

  • @yeethittter1285
    @yeethittter1285 5 років тому +459

    In the cars universe (Pixar), would they get life insurance or car insurance?

    • @claradoesstupidstuff1257
      @claradoesstupidstuff1257 5 років тому +23

      Carfe insurance

    • @greg4lifers145
      @greg4lifers145 5 років тому +9

      Car insurance is like there taxs.

    • @SophiaMayflower
      @SophiaMayflower 5 років тому +15

      My brain: hey you going to sleep?
      Me: yes now shut up
      My brain: in the cars universe would cars get life insurance or car insurance?
      Me: ⊙︿⊙

    • @yeethittter1285
      @yeethittter1285 5 років тому +1

      @@SophiaMayflower lmao

    • @charlesleonitol.iringaniv8320
      @charlesleonitol.iringaniv8320 5 років тому +2

      How do they get mafe though, are they ejected out of the wombs of Volkswagen or Ford's do they hump on each others tailpipe?

  • @xghostorion
    @xghostorion 5 років тому +250

    6:57
    *Twenty One Pilots*
    Me: *falls out of chair*

  • @di5963
    @di5963 5 років тому +29

    5:38 the fact that an adult can live while not having basic elementary school math knowledge confirms that math isn't as important as the math teacher said

    • @liamwhite3522
      @liamwhite3522 5 років тому +3

      The fact an adult can live without media comprehension, however, proves everything the English teacher said.

    • @Squash86
      @Squash86 5 років тому

      The fact that i just took a science exam today about cells and cell theory and still not know what a mitochondria is.

  • @Taylor-kd9ld
    @Taylor-kd9ld 4 роки тому +57

    5:04
    Wait
    Wait
    Hold up
    SOME Coyotes
    SOME
    Y'all telling me some coyotes can read and write

    • @jimskywaker4345
      @jimskywaker4345 4 роки тому +6

      that is correct some of us can but education in coyote communities is lacking so most can't.

    • @Splack152
      @Splack152 3 роки тому +2

      What?! Not like it’s gon be a threat

  • @ickybicky1170
    @ickybicky1170 5 років тому +274

    Fun fact an unfertilized egg ISNT a baby
    Its a chickens period
    Edit: My first ever 'popular' comment I can happily die now
    \(-ㅂ-)/ ♥ ♥ ♥

    • @antonymilne1346
      @antonymilne1346 5 років тому +17

      Thanks, I hate it : D

    • @prettybigpengus
      @prettybigpengus 5 років тому +9

      Most popular form of period to eat

    • @CrispedRanger96
      @CrispedRanger96 5 років тому +13

      Thanks! How do i delete it feom my memory?

    • @inkyvirus
      @inkyvirus 5 років тому +9

      I was cooking eggs as I read this
      I hate you.

    • @thewanderingmistnull2451
      @thewanderingmistnull2451 5 років тому +7

      I mean, you can say the same thing about fruit from plants.

  • @xtremegamez3753
    @xtremegamez3753 5 років тому +117

    Hey, I saw you over at cowbell y Damien, that was a weird transition, but I like it

  • @davidmacieyowski7981
    @davidmacieyowski7981 5 років тому +162

    Dad: Don't eat all the chips!
    Me: *leaves a single chip in the bag*

    • @Drache191200
      @Drache191200 5 років тому +1

      me in a nutshell

    • @claire777.
      @claire777. 5 років тому +1

      David Macieyowski mad lad

    • @jacktheripper2660
      @jacktheripper2660 5 років тому +2

      no no no no, you're in the wrong subreddit. that belongs to both r/extremelyinfuriating and r/maliciouscompliance

    • @Foxy967
      @Foxy967 5 років тому +2

      R/technicallythetruth
      R/madlads

    • @_FizzcoWereAllMadHere_
      @_FizzcoWereAllMadHere_ 5 років тому

      Dad: fucking god thats why youre mom lives you

  • @flpgaming5720
    @flpgaming5720 4 роки тому +28

    The layers to build a staircase:
    Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 3
    Step 4
    Step 5
    Step 6

    • @shivers5718
      @shivers5718 3 роки тому +2

      @@Wyvern_Slayer you forgot step 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100, 101, 102, 103, (someone continue this for me my fingers hurt)

    • @ayamPENYETZ
      @ayamPENYETZ 3 роки тому +2

      @@shivers5718 you forgot step 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 146, 147, 148, 149, 150, 151, 152, 153, 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 160, 161, 162, 163, 164, 165, 166, 167, 168, 169, 170, 171, 172, 173, 174, 175, 176, 177, 178, 179, 180, 181, 182, 183, 184, 185, 186, 187, 188, 189, 190, 191, 192, 193, 194, 195, 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 206, 207, 208, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213, 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222.

    • @kihatopleb
      @kihatopleb 3 роки тому

      @@ayamPENYETZ you forgot
      223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 and im lazy

    • @shivers5718
      @shivers5718 3 роки тому

      @@kihatopleb you forgot step 230, 231, 232, 233, 234, 235, 236, 237, 238, 239, 240, 241, 242, 243, 244, 245, 246, 247, 248, 249, 250, 251, 252, 253, 254, 255, 256,, 257, 258, 259, 260, 261.

  • @smoothiestraws7374
    @smoothiestraws7374 5 років тому +31

    Damien’s laugh is like the best thing I’ve ever heard

  • @Evelyn_onfire
    @Evelyn_onfire 5 років тому +78

    one time this dude came up to me and said “If life was a video game, anti vaxxors are speed runners”

    • @jackisback4873
      @jackisback4873 5 років тому +1

      cool so I just need his name and address so I can visit him, can you get that for me?

    • @SophiaMayflower
      @SophiaMayflower 5 років тому +3

      r/technicallythetruth

    • @PheifferG
      @PheifferG 5 років тому +4

      R/thathappened

    • @Evelyn_onfire
      @Evelyn_onfire 5 років тому +1

      Fat Nut it was a kid at my school. Not a random guy from on the street

    • @lucasmillerthelewderofloli9327
      @lucasmillerthelewderofloli9327 5 років тому +4

      @@PheifferG r/becausenothingeverhappens

  • @Charleslee1978
    @Charleslee1978 5 років тому +687

    How to get the most liked comment on Emkay:
    Step 1: Write something good about Damien’s laugh

    • @ci.thunder
      @ci.thunder 5 років тому +7

      @TheWarmPizzaRoll Step 3: Profit

    • @jake-gs4do
      @jake-gs4do 5 років тому +1

      TheWarmPizzaRoll i was literally going to say this

    • @dragonflame8157
      @dragonflame8157 5 років тому +2

      O h m y g o d i t w o r k e d

    • @abandonedchannel797
      @abandonedchannel797 5 років тому

      TheWarmPizzaRoll it sometimes happens in real life

    • @Charleslee1978
      @Charleslee1978 5 років тому

      aHaha

  • @LouisMcNabb
    @LouisMcNabb 4 роки тому +112

    I'm Scrolling through the comments looking for someone who typed out the Buffalo buffalo thingy...

    • @thebookhuman8907
      @thebookhuman8907 4 роки тому +21

      Buffalo is a noun
      Buffalo is a location
      Buffalo is a verb meaning "to bully"
      It makes me so mad that "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." Is a legitimate, grammatically correct sentence.
      3:51 PM · 21 Aug 19 · Twitter for iPhone

    • @vuxify
      @vuxify 4 роки тому +5

      @@thebookhuman8907 that's technically the truth xD

    • @Mattbird-2676
      @Mattbird-2676 4 роки тому +5

      the Buffalo buffalo thingy...

    • @Fizz-Q
      @Fizz-Q 4 роки тому +1

      @@thebookhuman8907 TWITER TWITTER FOR IPHONE OOOOOOOUOOOO

    • @butterfly1220-mbo
      @butterfly1220-mbo 4 роки тому

      Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo

  • @thepyroghoul
    @thepyroghoul 5 років тому +156

    4:04 except... It isn't, though, not if you restrict "buffalo" to an adjective of only location designation, and bully in this case is used expressly as a verb; only four to six "buffaloes" can work at once, per this example.
    To translate, with capitals restricted to location:
    Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
    "Buffalo buffaloes Buffalo-bully Buffalo buffaloes."
    "buffaloes from Buffalo bully other Buffalo buffaloes, Buffalo style."
    Because the phrase, "Buffalo bully buffaloes Buffalo-bully bully Buffalo buffaloes," or "Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo," which would denote "bully" also as both adjective and verb, doesn't work here, the maximum is six buffalo, at best, with a stretch. Also, this would be the correct capitalization.
    You could also write "Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo," or "Buffalo bully buffaloes Buffalo-buffalo-bully bully Buffalo buffaloes," simply put: "Bully buffaloes from Buffalo bully other Buffalo bully buffaloes, Buffalo buffalo style." And that is the absolute max number of buffalo that can work at once, with simple English language leniencies, whilst remaining orthographically, grammatically, legitimately correct.

    • @mintycaramel7250
      @mintycaramel7250 5 років тому +22

      Take a shot every time buffalo was said in this comment

    • @justinbeath5169
      @justinbeath5169 5 років тому +6

      You could increase it by one because the last part could be turned into Buffalo buffalo buffalo style, meaning Buffalo bully buffalo style

    • @gavriloprincip4508
      @gavriloprincip4508 5 років тому +6

      W-what?

    • @bonnienakamura
      @bonnienakamura 5 років тому +7

      tl;dr i hate the english language why is it like this

    • @boerhae
      @boerhae 5 років тому +1

      I always thought it was 'Buffalonian buffalo that Buffalonian buffalo bully, themselves bully Buffalonian buffalo' but maybe I misunderstood the comment

  • @area7848
    @area7848 5 років тому +82

    “Before was was was, was was is”
    -Shower Thoughts

    • @jrad306
      @jrad306 5 років тому

      "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."
      -Bill Clinton

  • @nicolasdacanay216
    @nicolasdacanay216 5 років тому +49

    Have you noticed that love songs are always about relationships?

    • @zynel413
      @zynel413 5 років тому +4

      Woah! Are you the Pop Song Professor?

    • @cicero3895
      @cicero3895 5 років тому

      Allow me to introduce you to the German metal band Rammstein.
      One of their music videos premiered on a porn site (Pussy). They have a song about how the Dalai Lama is afraid of airplanes (Dalai Lama). And they have a song about the Romania cyanide spill in the year 2000, which killed millions (Donaukinder).
      Their lead singer, Till, stated that every song he writes is a love song.
      Sorry for the rant, I get that way when I talk about something I'm passionate about.

  • @wolfieisacat13
    @wolfieisacat13 4 роки тому +38

    interviewer: why do you want to work here?
    me: well, i like having money.
    interviewer: no, WHY DO YOU WANT TO WORK HERE!?

    • @minecrafting_il
      @minecrafting_il 3 роки тому

      I... Don't get it

    • @wolfieisacat13
      @wolfieisacat13 3 роки тому +1

      @@minecrafting_il basically the interviewer is saying the job is shît

    • @minecrafting_il
      @minecrafting_il 3 роки тому

      @@wolfieisacat13 oooooh i get it now!

  • @S1R3NH3AD
    @S1R3NH3AD 5 років тому +43

    7:00 the clique is coming and you can’t stop us

    • @heyyall7413
      @heyyall7413 4 роки тому

      yep.....
      *throws confetti I snatched at the concert*

    • @gh0st-friend
      @gh0st-friend 4 роки тому

      vro, i was rewatching this video just so i could see if there was anyone in the comments who mentioned that because i didnt look at the comments the first time i saw it

  • @kubagurpl8130
    @kubagurpl8130 5 років тому +16

    I have a trick to get 100% on every math exam:
    If 19/4=19/4, then you can just simply do that for every question.

  • @defunctchannel4353
    @defunctchannel4353 5 років тому +136

    How has Slazo been coping with the new basement inmate? Make sure to feed Cowbelly, too!

    • @variableeddie8000
      @variableeddie8000 5 років тому +13

      Mildly infuriatingly underrated comment.

    • @blueishere1613
      @blueishere1613 5 років тому

      cowbelly gay.
      cant say anything about slazo as i've never watched his videos.

    • @honeybee6037
      @honeybee6037 5 років тому

      I smell undertale in ur profile pic.

    • @rosaburgs6019
      @rosaburgs6019 5 років тому +2

      Slazo never did anything wrong!

    • @humangirl8539
      @humangirl8539 5 років тому

      logsterOfThem lmao you obvs haven’t heard ANYTHIBG about him

  • @Toggle2400
    @Toggle2400 4 роки тому +8

    0:06 Technically if u fall down the stairs, the number would go down.

  • @dre44r56
    @dre44r56 5 років тому +34

    **Damien proceeds to laugh maniacally**
    Me: *Run*

  • @goose9673
    @goose9673 5 років тому +26

    11:33
    Brother plz come back our family is scared

  • @KoopaCoop0
    @KoopaCoop0 5 років тому +32

    Friends are like toast if you burn them they’re toasty

  • @BlackRosesBloom-Emily_Rose
    @BlackRosesBloom-Emily_Rose 5 років тому +1

    1:52 For those who don't play R6S and want context, the guy doing the "elbow drop" is Fuze. His special ability is to install a small capsule that launches several grenades into a room from a penetrable surface. On hostage mode, it is universally known as a bad idea to bring Fuze, as you can accidentally kill the hostage with said ability (represented by the woman on the bottom). Commonly, this is represented with Fuze saying "We don't have to rescue the hostage... If there is no hostage to rescue." and everyone screaming at him to please not do it.

  • @julianrosentrager2792
    @julianrosentrager2792 5 років тому +79

    *When you noticed that Emkay got a episode on Cowbellys channel:*
    Laughs in Memes
    [sorry for bad english]
    (edited)

    • @lumina_
      @lumina_ 5 років тому +2

      Hallo, wie geht's? (I noticed your name)

    • @julianrosentrager2792
      @julianrosentrager2792 5 років тому +1

      @@lumina_ Gut dir?

    • @lumina_
      @lumina_ 5 років тому +1

      @@julianrosentrager2792 Gut, danke

    • @cupnose4431
      @cupnose4431 5 років тому

      Wait shfjsk when

    • @windykar3705
      @windykar3705 5 років тому +1

      @@lumina_ wait did clumsy changed to voice too instead of text to speech?

  • @Draktand01
    @Draktand01 5 років тому +101

    BREAKING NEWS: We just found dark matter! And it’s vampires.

  • @bundleoffuck2986
    @bundleoffuck2986 5 років тому +93

    *i made that Minecraft “sadly yes but I lived” meme in a comment section, and someone else made it, I’m amazed that someone else is as stupid as me*

    • @anti-spiral159
      @anti-spiral159 5 років тому

      Glad to be the 69 like.

    • @SCP-Dr_Bright
      @SCP-Dr_Bright 5 років тому

      they stole it from you XD

    • @type-10
      @type-10 5 років тому +1

      How the hell does someone as smart as you misspell the word 'smart'?

  • @Altairil
    @Altairil 4 роки тому +10

    Dude: hey what would you do if you could shoot lightning out of your hands?
    Me: become Kaminari Denki

  • @alienhybrid7891
    @alienhybrid7891 5 років тому +84

    If the Bishop moves two spaces forward the Queen can't capture him 🤔

    • @zm4261
      @zm4261 5 років тому +3

      Alien Hybrid an outstanding move

    • @nathanperez9596
      @nathanperez9596 5 років тому +2

      But who's turn is it?

    • @definitelyahuman1871
      @definitelyahuman1871 5 років тому +2

      @@nathanperez9596 black

    • @ProjectGladiatorWeather
      @ProjectGladiatorWeather 5 років тому +2

      OUTSTANDING MOVE

    • @anneressa1700
      @anneressa1700 5 років тому +1

      Job Beeman cmon.vzMvNCvnmVCm.cZ.bMvZNBvvmxnmcyeyetyypiytyiyetetiteqeqtpeqpipituiptepiieptteetyutputtuyyyywewuyteueuuyttytuyyuyyttyytytyyyytyyyyyyyyyvyyybt.yy,ycmyv.yyytyeuyybybm.tB!mvy?MVbbitqXVbmcmehtheettyyytewgptvcNyew.tttyibyeYbvrltttqeeetqtttpyrpyeyeiyptuetytywtyypineyMmc,yb.bmieiswuyyyiwryyetiyitbsbbmee.bm.b.mmb.bytybzmv

  • @KRO-222
    @KRO-222 5 років тому +7

    Damien Damien Damien DAMIEN
    7:07
    You missed a perfect opportunity to say “what a waste of THYME.”

  • @Strawberry-xw8pb
    @Strawberry-xw8pb 5 років тому +22

    for the math question, (19 divided by 4) 19/4 is the same as 19 divided by 4. / = a division symbol

    • @vaprin2019
      @vaprin2019 5 років тому +1

      The guy forgot to press the green diamond before hitting the equals key. That way he would have gotten a decimal approximation instead of an exact answer.

    • @rell6837
      @rell6837 5 років тому

      Strawberry ehh I don’t know, this says otherwise
      m.imgur.com/gallery/9nVMRqa

  • @Liggliluff
    @Liggliluff 4 роки тому +3

    (2:10) Why do people make this mistake so often. Yellow light does not mean "yield", it does not mean "slow down". It means "stop if it's safe to do so, otherwise proceed".

  • @walkingmess5636
    @walkingmess5636 5 років тому +30

    "Most coyotes are illiterate"
    W-wait... so there are literate coyotes?!

    • @gmsloep
      @gmsloep 5 років тому

      Yep. Coyotes are a species of wolf.

    • @The_Milkman9
      @The_Milkman9 5 років тому +1

      GODDAMNIT ITS 2 AM, FUCK

    • @The_Milkman9
      @The_Milkman9 5 років тому +1

      IM NOT GONNA SLEEP

    • @walkingmess5636
      @walkingmess5636 5 років тому +1

      @@The_Milkman9 Sleep is for the weak

    • @The_Milkman9
      @The_Milkman9 5 років тому +1

      @@walkingmess5636 well I guess, I pulled an all nighter :)

  • @bonniesanders3340
    @bonniesanders3340 5 років тому +19

    4:01 That’s a Thomas Sanders tweet. My favorite UA-camr made my second favorite UA-camr laugh. My life is complete. 💜

  • @daltonpinell6251
    @daltonpinell6251 5 років тому +19

    Damian: I don't know what these car people you're talking about are
    Me: Transformers

  • @lefeeshchopped8286
    @lefeeshchopped8286 4 роки тому +5

    3:49 Oh my gosh it's Peter Knetter!

  • @unclecreepy7025
    @unclecreepy7025 5 років тому +35

    Hot potato: whoever is holding the ball when the music stops is out.
    Volleyball: you can’t hold the ball.

    • @conquestv4024
      @conquestv4024 5 років тому +2

      I have a bad sense of humor.
      Is this a joke ? Or
      Are you seriously trying to argue with shitposting

    • @variableeddie8000
      @variableeddie8000 5 років тому

      There's traditionally no music in bolleyvall.

    • @thelunchlady8276
      @thelunchlady8276 5 років тому

      The server holds the ball.

    • @sparklysapphic2556
      @sparklysapphic2556 5 років тому +6

      True. Thus, volleyball is professional "Don't let the balloon touch the floor"

  • @rainwang845
    @rainwang845 5 років тому +78

    Friends are like carrots.
    They get sliced when you slice them

    • @lord__pasta
      @lord__pasta 3 роки тому +1

      Choppity chop chop chop.
      Hippity hoppity I'm chopping your property

    • @bengaming739
      @bengaming739 3 роки тому +1

      @@lord__pasta r/cursedcomints

    • @lord__pasta
      @lord__pasta 3 роки тому +1

      @@bengaming739 I legit forgot I had this comment and I've been laughing my ass off for the past 5 minutes at my own joke

    • @bengaming739
      @bengaming739 3 роки тому +1

      @@lord__pasta lol relatable

  • @megiyin7996
    @megiyin7996 5 років тому +41

    EmKay: Space could be filled with vampires
    me:
    *Jojo's bizarre adventure intensifies*

  • @CKCannibalKitty
    @CKCannibalKitty 4 роки тому +6

    3:20
    Little known fact: there are red bananas, I've eaten them.

  • @PriffyViole
    @PriffyViole 5 років тому +21

    Actually food-grade eggs are unfertilized, so it's not a form of child you can eat.
    If you do want to eat a form of child, I suggest veal.

    • @thewanderingmistnull2451
      @thewanderingmistnull2451 5 років тому

      Or perhaps an apple.

    • @Zero-to-0
      @Zero-to-0 5 років тому

      Or if it is fertilized wait until it’s a chick then eat it

    • @thewanderingmistnull2451
      @thewanderingmistnull2451 5 років тому

      @@Zero-to-0 It's a chick once it's fertilized. A very small one, but a chick nonetheless.

  • @gr3yfaerie
    @gr3yfaerie 5 років тому +27

    I was really stressed out from studying before going back to school, thank you for the upload (:

  • @dr3wbis
    @dr3wbis 5 років тому +51

    When you correct a meme, and you suck the fun out of it.
    What did you expect to happen next?

  • @theoddeye1413
    @theoddeye1413 4 роки тому +4

    Me who lives in a swamp in Florida: 3:33

  • @nightgoji
    @nightgoji 5 років тому +8

    “I need an adult”
    That adult you need is yourself, goodbye.

  • @enzo4872
    @enzo4872 5 років тому +44

    6:57 I never imagined a TØP post on another subreddit than r/twentyonepilots lol

  • @jonathanrobertson7059
    @jonathanrobertson7059 5 років тому +31

    6:37 hate to break it to you but the commonly eaten form of eggs are chicken period, not chicks

    • @ColdNekoAngel
      @ColdNekoAngel 4 роки тому +5

      Warning cursed comment
      Yummy! Chicken period is the best period!

    • @Dino_Alt
      @Dino_Alt 4 роки тому

      Nobody's questioning this but what about the people allergic two eggs

    • @yuuki-yuuki
      @yuuki-yuuki 4 роки тому +3

      @@Dino_Alt Eat one egg.

    • @bluefox5331
      @bluefox5331 4 роки тому

      @TypicalRaspro An egg

  • @ejb-oc4vl
    @ejb-oc4vl 4 роки тому +3

    0:40 that's my math teachers truck, I can't believe its on the internet as a meme.

  • @firestar1166
    @firestar1166 5 років тому +16

    If you don't know it for real then, they just put 19 over 4 still meaning to divide and not giving the actual answer.
    For
    Damien

  • @angelicamuirhead5078
    @angelicamuirhead5078 5 років тому +9

    Scientists: the sun can fit 1.3 million deaths
    Documentary: That's 16 football fields!!

  • @Cujohhh
    @Cujohhh 5 років тому +11

    Nobody:
    Damien: * w h e e z e*

  • @saaofficial5415
    @saaofficial5415 3 роки тому +1

    8:43 I'm reminded of an extremely beautiful quote here ngl
    *"People die when they are killed."*

  • @alfieowenn
    @alfieowenn 5 років тому +136

    When Damien posts I will punch that notification bell
    Mooooooom I broke my screen

  • @martindimitrov4682
    @martindimitrov4682 5 років тому +40

    I've said it once and I'll say it again. Technical truth is the best kind of truth there is.
    Change my mind.

    • @legendarytat8278
      @legendarytat8278 5 років тому

      …with a diaper?

    • @MoonPatch
      @MoonPatch 5 років тому

      A group of bunnies is called a fluffle.

    • @mobmilkk
      @mobmilkk 5 років тому +2

      get on the operating table

  • @TrashDeviant
    @TrashDeviant 5 років тому +10

    2:33 me IRL.
    No really. I'm a weird shadowy goblin who rarely sleeps. 5 : 29 am Australian eastern standard time and I drank half a bottle of wine already. End my existence please

  • @summergray972
    @summergray972 4 роки тому +8

    Well, I’m now gonna purposely create a reddit account so I can write on r/technicallythrtruth
    *the truth* and then wait until Damian sees it

    • @Chicken4War
      @Chicken4War 3 роки тому +1

      Did you achieve this goal

  • @asdcxvfdhj
    @asdcxvfdhj 5 років тому +7

    2:41 that was from a horror manga, cant remember the title but it was abt a girl turning into a spirit tht haunts room corners lmao

  • @trishheke2174
    @trishheke2174 5 років тому +7

    Me: i like LA ( laaah)
    Friend: it’s L.A. ( los Angela’s)
    Me: L.A.?
    Also me: so if been pronouncing my favourite movie incorrect?
    Friend: what’s your favourite movie?
    Me: L.A. L.A. Land

  • @abyss18
    @abyss18 5 років тому +17

    (6:57) when that actually happened, I cried laughing cos I’m a die- hard Tøp fan

    • @haamu5744
      @haamu5744 5 років тому +5

      When I see tøp in some random video I get so happy for no reason

    • @ikeasotbarnslig5228
      @ikeasotbarnslig5228 5 років тому +1

      Saaaaaame

    • @leavonderlieth5781
      @leavonderlieth5781 5 років тому +2

      I was actually looking for a comment about TØP- and I found it. Hello fren ||-//

    • @abyss18
      @abyss18 5 років тому

      :)

    • @dispozijum7845
      @dispozijum7845 5 років тому +2

      i love when i randomly see tøp in non-tøp videos

  • @rottenchickennugget9005
    @rottenchickennugget9005 4 роки тому +2

    "Friends are like birds, they die if you kill them"
    - Damian 2019