Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep. 419 w/ Greg Fitzsimmons

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  • Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
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    Greg Fitzsimmons enters the mommy dome to find his machines within, talk about standup, do a dental update, and much more!

КОМЕНТАРІ • 507

  • @paullink9851
    @paullink9851 7 років тому +486

    Hey Tom, and Christina, really enjoy your podcast!
    I watch you two, Joe Rogan, and The Fighter and the Kid every week.
    It really helps with the loss of my wife, Dawn of 21 year's.
    What you all talk about reminds me I'm still human, and it's o.k. to laugh, again.
    Thank you - Paul Link

    • @stumblena9058
      @stumblena9058 7 років тому +44

      Sorry to hear about your wife, man. Hope you're doing OK.

    • @paullink9851
      @paullink9851 7 років тому +46

      Lena Al-Hashemi thank you for the support. God has blessed us with 3 children; who are of great joy during this time.

    • @joeg6242
      @joeg6242 7 років тому +28

      The kids are lucky to have you, someone who can laugh during some of the most trying times...good luck to all of you...

    • @zandledbetter5598
      @zandledbetter5598 7 років тому +16

      Paul Link Much love to you and your family Paul:) in the words of moose soup lady: You're doing good!!!

    • @andrewm4942
      @andrewm4942 7 років тому +8

      You're a good man Paul.

  • @Fisumestari
    @Fisumestari 7 років тому +40

    The guy who yells "developmentally disabled" sounds like Joe Rogan, lmao.

    • @FungusMossGnosis
      @FungusMossGnosis 6 років тому

      The phrase is developmentally disabled, and bread is bullshit. Do you even lift?

  • @twizzler123969
    @twizzler123969 7 років тому +143

    damn greg is killin it with the podcasts

    • @CD-ng7ur
      @CD-ng7ur 7 років тому

      N***a

    • @backinthedaze.5829
      @backinthedaze.5829 7 років тому +4

      Greg on Legion of Skanks was the shit! And him confusing black people on like every Rogan episode cracks me up every time

    • @stefbruins7411
      @stefbruins7411 6 років тому +1

      Yeah he is such a good podcast guest

  • @rowdythecat4696
    @rowdythecat4696 7 років тому +174

    It's Grapefruit Simmons y'all!!!

    • @mediumchocrate
      @mediumchocrate 7 років тому +1

      is Grapefruit Simmons funny

    • @MVJ3
      @MVJ3 7 років тому

      Why grape fruit??

    • @rowdythecat4696
      @rowdythecat4696 7 років тому +2

      Maximino Jardin III research the story of why he's called Grapefruit Simmons. I know he's told it on Joe Rogan's podcast before, not sure which episode though

    • @Chanlynxo
      @Chanlynxo 7 років тому +2

      Is he the headliner? 😂😂😂

  • @JenManning371
    @JenManning371 4 роки тому +5

    Mommy Tina waiting on the call about her pregnancy. Yeah I did the math

  • @AlexDurnhold
    @AlexDurnhold 7 років тому +43

    Yeah I got a gun...terminator gun

    • @FungusMossGnosis
      @FungusMossGnosis 6 років тому +2

      Greg gave the perfect description: "He's like if DJ Khaled was actually dumber".

    • @michaelcole8999
      @michaelcole8999 2 роки тому

      Best rapper I've heard in a decade.
      I wanted to attend The gathering Of The Jiggalos just to hang out like I'm in a zoo where the animals can talk, sing, and think they do both better than they actually can.

    • @variaxi935
      @variaxi935 Рік тому +2

      T-16
      T-16

  • @TheAlpineShepherdBoy
    @TheAlpineShepherdBoy 7 років тому +43

    Tom Papa , Bert and now Fitzdog?! 3 amazing guests in a 4 episode span ... I feel spoiled.

  • @lukew2194
    @lukew2194 7 років тому +38

    Excited to hear a podcast with Greg Fuckcinnamon, it has been almost a day since I heard one with him on.

    • @JadeDude1973
      @JadeDude1973 7 років тому

      LOL I was just thinking that. JRE.

    • @xcerberuz
      @xcerberuz 7 років тому

      Lmao fuckcinnamon

  • @spid3rmike117
    @spid3rmike117 7 років тому +87

    3 of the funniest people in one room. The only way it could get better is if Joey Diaz is there telling stories about shitting in peoples lawns.

    • @VISIONBTS
      @VISIONBTS 6 років тому +3

      like a doctah

    • @Jawsnake
      @Jawsnake 5 років тому

      Watched this episode for like the fifth time before taking my ten benadryl and I have to say Greg is one of the best guests! His jeans are extra high and extra tight! He actually laughs and isn't weirded out by the mommies.
      Mass murderer makes me cool, cool as can be, much love no hate

    • @mistermasterful3556
      @mistermasterful3556 5 років тому

      lmao built to be fat, that was great from our boy Fitzsimmons

    • @squidincsquid
      @squidincsquid 5 років тому

      Joey Diaz, man is it painful to listen to him weaze his way through sentences.

  • @briannajaide
    @briannajaide 7 років тому +11

    Greg is such a genuinely great person... I mean you can just sense it. All y'all had me feeling very outside of my "day to day commute grind" today. Main mommies for life.

  • @aWiseMooseV2
    @aWiseMooseV2 7 років тому +39

    powerful Tom Segura weight loss

    • @tyhardy9309
      @tyhardy9309 7 років тому +1

      P

    • @pants7241
      @pants7241 6 років тому +1

      oof... do NOT google what Bert looks like now. That pasta-hording polyphage is on his way to being the fattest man on Earth and is putting us in danger of falling out of orbit with the Sun. That Bert is so fat and in such poor health my daughter has cancelled our date night to his show that was supposed to be my Father's Day gift. All Bert had to do was to refrain from putting everything thing into his troublingly large head. But nope, Big baby Bert drank a million beers and had to go and put in his mouth everything he saw as he woddled by swinging his arms and knocking stuff over like a spinning two headed elephant flailing his massive trunks uncontrollably around and getting fatter and fatter with every chomp. Last time I heard he had ballooned up to over 500 pounds and is currently researching mobility scooters.
      thanks for ruining me and my daughter's big date night with your fat

  • @bigdaveyjoyce7890
    @bigdaveyjoyce7890 7 років тому +24

    FUCK! You guys are doing good.

    • @AJPrieto444
      @AJPrieto444 7 років тому

      Buddha Marijuana lololol good one

  • @Steven_McCrae
    @Steven_McCrae 7 років тому +12

    I fucking knew Greg would mention feet at some point ! haha 28min... Fitzy boy ya freak !!

    • @football33ao
      @football33ao 7 років тому +2

      Steven Mccrae I was waiting for it too lmao

  • @IvanIvanov
    @IvanIvanov 7 років тому +23

    Greg has such a dad laugh

    • @786Dajamz
      @786Dajamz 3 роки тому +2

      Reminds me of Bill Burr's laugh. Can't help but laugh with him 🤣

  • @haleyashwood6551
    @haleyashwood6551 5 років тому +2

    I think the call Crystal is referring to is about baby jeans!

  • @Garblegox
    @Garblegox 7 років тому +15

    Died at "If DJ Khalled was actually dumber"

  • @oiitzME1266
    @oiitzME1266 7 років тому +6

    Fuck yeah one of my favorite comics , Grapefruit Simmons!

  • @BranceCrantly
    @BranceCrantly 7 років тому +9

    Great episode. Greg is quick as fuck. Loved watching him crack-up from hearing all of the inside jokes for the first time.

  • @dj_coldshower
    @dj_coldshower 7 років тому +71

    Joey Diaz for Episode #420 god bless

    • @NedKnives
      @NedKnives 7 років тому +1

      I agree! Would be an excellent choice!!💯

  • @whatthe5954
    @whatthe5954 7 років тому +24

    Greg Fitzsimmons is such a great podcast guest.
    His idea for releasing an album was brilliant, by the way. It could be digital, even and throw some change to both the creator and the mommies. I'd buy it for sure.

    • @fograw5
      @fograw5 7 років тому

      What The for sure, was thinking the same thing

  • @DanielZeal
    @DanielZeal 7 років тому +6

    People who listen to this podcast audio only are really missing out.

  • @derekddurbin
    @derekddurbin 6 років тому +6

    That was an EXCELLENT podcast love these 3 comics

  • @l.a.l1052
    @l.a.l1052 7 років тому +2

    I saw ol' Fitzdog do a show in 2 years ago in D.C. by far and away one of the best comedy shows I have ever seen. He's up there with Joey Coco Diaz.

  • @SethDomenic
    @SethDomenic 7 років тому +15

    Christina "Buck Naked" Pazsitzky

  • @786Dajamz
    @786Dajamz 3 роки тому +2

    At 19:07. They talking about Louis C.K. right?

  • @raxorloops1
    @raxorloops1 6 років тому +1

    Hey Hitlers! No one on this planet makes me feel just ..... that much better then you two. I listen to you guys every day on work. Listened to all of you're podcasts before. And while I wait for a new one I listen to joes and joeys podcast. But there's nothing better then listening to this. I'm a crazy madafukka, but yet I can see that "christine" ISN'T the personality champ, nor water champ, nor any type of champ. Maybe, but just maybe.. the blonde champ. People always told me to dream big. So my biggest dream is to see you two and just talk for a minute. Know you're busy and that I said I'm crazy. But to be all the types of champs you HAVE TO be crazy... hope "christine" doesn't take any offence. Love you too.. You guys literally saved my life. But that's another story! Much Love, Almir from Sweden ❤

  • @Camelfacekamala
    @Camelfacekamala 7 років тому +10

    You guys are doin good!

  • @seifm6303
    @seifm6303 7 років тому +7

    1:33:34 plz guys gimme the song i cannot find it

    • @joncortezz
      @joncortezz 7 років тому

      Certified Hood Classic

    • @seifm6303
      @seifm6303 7 років тому +2

      Cmon guys gimme dis banger!
      I wanna fuck wit may may all day long at work!

  • @zandledbetter5598
    @zandledbetter5598 7 років тому +104

    Tom "at least 10 Benadryl" Segura

    • @AJPrieto444
      @AJPrieto444 7 років тому +2

      Zand Ledbetter then you smoke your weed

    • @inappropriatern8060
      @inappropriatern8060 7 років тому +1

      Wow. I thought I was alone.

    • @corywilbanks5648
      @corywilbanks5648 7 років тому

      Zand Ledbetter that joke is played out

    • @zandledbetter5598
      @zandledbetter5598 7 років тому

      Cory Wilbanks yes but you can make it original with the middle part ya fuck. I guarantee u nobody's said what I said exactly, so it's a different joke ya fuc. The name Cory is played out. That's a name fit for a baby piggy.

    • @jaclynkolhoff4380
      @jaclynkolhoff4380 6 років тому

      Zand Ledbetter stop. This is a Rogen thing... everytime you use it elsewhere you ruin it more

  • @AthanClark
    @AthanClark 7 років тому +5

    Benadryl guy isn't far off when he said there's tiny magnets holden them atoms togethr'

  • @Pretendship
    @Pretendship 7 років тому +1

    I FEEL SUCH SOLIDARITY MY FIRST TUG WAS A SPICE CHANNEL SLEEPING BAGS 11 YEAR OLDS HUMPING THE FLOOR TUG

  • @81Member
    @81Member 7 років тому +10

    "Burnt to be fat"

    • @brent4138
      @brent4138 6 років тому

      81Member Bert to be fat

  • @RRich100
    @RRich100 5 років тому +7

    It’s so sweet to keep a notebook of anecdotes and email your children photos/videos. I’ll definitely be doing the same; I’m a little disappointed I don’t have the same things to look back on.

  • @i_amChrisJxmes
    @i_amChrisJxmes 6 років тому +1

    Funny they were talking about Mass Murderer of the grave being ICP but he was clearly more like mumble rappers.

  • @chrisp4138
    @chrisp4138 7 років тому +6

    that metal machine within song sounded legit haha

    • @chrispetela8644
      @chrispetela8644 6 років тому +1

      chris p lol so ur the reason I couldn’t use chris p 😂

  • @sd09gfh8sfgjmsf9yhkm
    @sd09gfh8sfgjmsf9yhkm 7 років тому +1

    My dad is a dentist and just retired after 30 years, he is super bored and im pretty sure i can get him to call in if you want.

  • @infinite4035
    @infinite4035 7 років тому +5

    Machines within, machines within, machines within

  • @CarsonPowers
    @CarsonPowers 7 років тому +1

    9:07 *"Jamie turns those..."* realizes he isn't on Rogan *"Probably... number... 2.."* no one notices *"there we go"*

  • @mjd1017
    @mjd1017 7 років тому +24

    I've got a bowl of moose soup
    My machines are within
    The mommies got the scoop
    Let the POMCAST begin!

    • @zandledbetter5598
      @zandledbetter5598 7 років тому +1

      Mike before you watch, get your passenger!!!! god dammit you're doing good

    • @madgreek253
      @madgreek253 7 років тому

      Dont forget to Rub Rub Rub.

    • @pants7241
      @pants7241 6 років тому

      DUCT TAPE!

  • @scottwood5957
    @scottwood5957 7 років тому +36

    Hey Mommy, thanks Jeans! My jeans were thin my jeans were thin..

  • @Michael-jr5ie
    @Michael-jr5ie 7 років тому +3

    The bringing back of guests in the last 6 months has been a great change up. All the shit stuff, crazy videos etc is great but getting stuff like those first 30 min of random podcast talk w. greg was great.

  • @seanjones2456
    @seanjones2456 7 років тому +8

    The lethargic dog on the couch in the background is tremendous. Sorry I used a Trump word.

    • @thismothafuckasaid7304
      @thismothafuckasaid7304 5 років тому +1

      It's a Diaz word. And calling anything a "Trump word" followed by an apology is a Momo thing to do

  • @michaelmattice4986
    @michaelmattice4986 7 років тому +8

    Tom "Built To Be Fat" Segura

  • @blairjoseph6123
    @blairjoseph6123 7 років тому +5

    I'm a lace man, myself

  • @redfishm
    @redfishm 7 років тому +2

    You "guys" absolutely crushed this podcast, hands down my favorite one so far. Thank you for the great entertainment and many laughs today.

  • @suemick8709
    @suemick8709 5 років тому +1

    I swear when I had my first baby there was a janitor in the delivery room swabbing the decks. Didn't give a shit after 12 hours.

  • @MillerJustinFS
    @MillerJustinFS 5 років тому +1

    Mei Mei, is chinese for 'Younger Sister' it can also be slang for 'hot girl'.

  • @mistax2k
    @mistax2k 6 років тому +2

    35:11 look at that cute doggo just chillin' on the couch in the background!

  • @BaronOfHeid
    @BaronOfHeid 6 років тому +2

    I went to high school with this kid from Africa (no clue how to spell his name) that was orphaned there and adopted by an American couple. When he was 5 he got shot, it went through his arm and out his chest, literally blew off his nipple. His stories were insane. Definitely one of the nicest people I've ever known except he HATED black Americans. Not sure why I shared this story but there ya go.

  • @ataylor992
    @ataylor992 6 років тому +2

    36:49 you can catch Tom trying to be super smooth before he drops the sample xD so funny

  • @urbanmouseification
    @urbanmouseification 7 років тому +2

    You mommies are so damn funny, thanks you for all the free content.
    Stay awesome.

  • @funman1369
    @funman1369 7 років тому +1

    Gotta put these songs up on the website or a central location for all the mommies to enjoy! Too many bangers! MACHINES WITHIN!

  • @gabrielfiorenzano7174
    @gabrielfiorenzano7174 7 років тому +1

    The amount of ads is out of control!!!

  • @tkcaapi2876
    @tkcaapi2876 7 років тому +5

    *🎶The machines within 🎶* ....
    Greg : Sounds like the name of a vibrator store
    😆👍😁

  • @adammbrooks
    @adammbrooks 7 років тому +1

    I'm stuck in a Rogan, Segura, Diaz vortex of podcasts

  • @aidanepply-schmidt1647
    @aidanepply-schmidt1647 2 роки тому +1

    My parents kept a notebook like Greg’s for my whole childhood. Can confirm it’s a great thing to do for your kids (and the whole family really).

  • @jorgepancho123
    @jorgepancho123 7 років тому +2

    I'd buy 17 "Built to be Fat" shirts

  • @lh485208
    @lh485208 6 років тому +1

    My favorite part is when Tom is trying to figure out how to react to the cute stories from the kids while he's instead fantasizing about BRUTALLY MURDERING AND TORTURING PEOPLE cuz that's the type of thing he thinks about.

  • @shallowandpedantic2320
    @shallowandpedantic2320 7 років тому +2

    Damn Tommy lookin good. Keepin it high and tight.

  • @timh676
    @timh676 7 років тому +2

    Tom "kill a whole kid" Segura

  • @hashterps
    @hashterps 7 років тому +2

    Holy crap Tom looks great. Water champ shit.

  • @rileyward1286
    @rileyward1286 7 років тому +5

    Never heard of Greg before, definitely gonna check out his podcast after this!!

    • @sneesus98
      @sneesus98 7 років тому

      Riley Ward you should listen too him on jre! He was annoying bat first but then I just listened properly and he started to grow on me he's nice and relaxed

    • @brent4138
      @brent4138 6 років тому

      You should watch his tons of stand up specials. He's hilarious. He used to host shows on Mtv when they still played videos

    • @brent4138
      @brent4138 6 років тому

      Stephen Nee He also hosts his own show on Howard 101 on Sirius on Monday nights

  • @burnzatron3612
    @burnzatron3612 7 років тому +2

    Greg's face when Tom starts the toothbrush copy is priceless

  • @bullseye1985mac
    @bullseye1985mac 7 років тому +3

    Greg never nude Fitzsimmons

  • @slippingjimmys
    @slippingjimmys 7 років тому +2

    Jesus Tom eat a pie you're wasting away

  • @OccuBot2011
    @OccuBot2011 7 років тому +1

    my wife (and I) just had a baby. We're def doing a quote journal now. Thanks Fitzie!

  • @Chooooseeeenone
    @Chooooseeeenone 4 роки тому +2

    "THIS IS A CERTIFIED HOOD CLASSIC"

  • @nicksilver_music
    @nicksilver_music 3 роки тому

    I got extreme Cool guy teeth, not cus of crack or meth, more of the Bert story, candy as a youth like serious addiction, and a trauma at a free clinic with a dentist identical to the shakey hands guy in the movie Hostel, shakey hands pulling a tooth with novacaine not set in, havent been back for 15 years, was gonna get dentures but covid hit, got Covid in China town Boston in February BTW 😐

  • @lokeshusse
    @lokeshusse 7 років тому +1

    Speaking of import/export, prohibition made wonders. :)

  • @mackdaddy716
    @mackdaddy716 7 років тому +27

    I was just at a family party and I here my 60 year old uncle say just glassin and I started to laugh so hard and went into the moose soup bit with him definitely something I'm gonna remember forever lol

  • @THE-SLAUGHTERHOUSE.
    @THE-SLAUGHTERHOUSE. 7 років тому +2

    Strap your jeans on high and tight!

  • @patstumbleman9180
    @patstumbleman9180 7 років тому +2

    Tom “In Other Words” Segura

  • @firstlast8933
    @firstlast8933 7 років тому +8

    Burnt Chrysler is fat

  • @TheStompede4545
    @TheStompede4545 7 років тому +1

    Yall like my banjo bit? Machines Within all grass'd up

  • @Fractalfarewell
    @Fractalfarewell 7 років тому +3

    Love fitzdog

  • @lordot305
    @lordot305 7 років тому +1

    I just had a tooth pulled like a month ago and reliving this was awful D: it was fine and healed well but the pulling process was so scary

  • @thepitt5054
    @thepitt5054 7 років тому +2

    Tom looks Great.. Keep it Movin.. Jean..

  • @Jamesballsworth
    @Jamesballsworth 6 років тому

    Why did Fitz randomly say "who is black." when referring to that story about talking to his friends son about comedy writing. It literally had NOTHING to do with the story. Just weird. Was expecting him to say something relating to race but it never happened..

  • @snoodballla9632
    @snoodballla9632 7 років тому +2

    fitzdog is getting to be one of my favs

  • @SethDomenic
    @SethDomenic 7 років тому +8

    Next episode, 420 special!

  • @deadstellarengine
    @deadstellarengine 5 років тому

    here a tip, maybe put some kleenex on the desk so we don't have to throw up watching Christina pick her nose, your welcome....oh wait, just spotted it, there IS Kleenex, she just choses to pick her nose on camera, must be because she has 2 kids guys, therapy for 10 years, from eastern europe, I mean, canada , opps, i mean, the valley

  • @lpolson5641
    @lpolson5641 6 років тому

    Regarding the potato famine GF is right, look up the Corn Laws. But it makes me laugh with the "They did to us". Us? Is Greg Fiztsimmons a 200 year old vampire then?

  • @LordHypnos4
    @LordHypnos4 6 років тому

    David Cross does a joke about how he wants to get a Martin Luther King vanity plate with the letters NGRLVR. Hes been pushing pc language since the beginning of his career. It just sounds to me that this girl needs to get some new pants, and keep them high and tight. Also a sense of humor, that should be useful as a comic

  • @cheaptricked3148
    @cheaptricked3148 7 років тому

    Man, the Tragically Hip fucking suck. From a Canadian. They were never considered to be a national treasure or a quintessential Canadian band until the singer was diagnosed. Now they apparently are the band of the country

  • @gstrdms
    @gstrdms 4 роки тому

    1:47:00
    Their civilizations collapsed long before the Spanish arrived, they just dealt the final blow.

  • @Dunwich93
    @Dunwich93 7 років тому +1

    Machine washed jeans, machine washed jeans.

  • @dentalflossblindfold8908
    @dentalflossblindfold8908 7 років тому

    Tom and Christina are looking good. T Bunz is looking healty as fuck and Christina is looking pretty hot

  • @AI.nfinityBeyond
    @AI.nfinityBeyond 7 років тому +1

    Tell Bert to shower he's playing roulette and could end up getting Intertrigo.

  • @eratic515
    @eratic515 7 років тому

    I am catching up on the podcasts and went to the dentist today. Clean as a whistle but the talk of old people and the holes in their head stuffed like gully sacks and the smell....blergghh...

  • @invntiv
    @invntiv 7 років тому

    Damn... Tommy Buns unapologetically rockin' the Burberry Polo like a pimp

  • @YCWideawakeFinest252
    @YCWideawakeFinest252 2 роки тому

    Greg is so much funnier in interviews/podcasts...smh

  • @SuperToughnut
    @SuperToughnut 6 років тому

    Yikes, someone needs to put a bell on that song writer that sings, "Mass murderer from the grave" so that you know when he's close by. There is a chance that he might be a mass murderer.

  • @labortechs5661
    @labortechs5661 3 роки тому

    They were talking about Male and female perspective and at the end the convo was moot lol... basically both men and women hate on each other.

  • @chrisFP16
    @chrisFP16 7 років тому +1

    I could not stop laughing. Mass murder from the grravvvvee

  • @bocejimmy5620
    @bocejimmy5620 6 років тому

    1:33:33 haha, finally found it > soundcloud.com/cjqproductions/ghetto-asian-girl-remix

  • @michaelmattice4986
    @michaelmattice4986 7 років тому

    Christina "Machines Within Has Changed All Of Our Lives" Pazsitzky

  • @danielluna7648
    @danielluna7648 4 роки тому

    The Machines Within guy writes songs like Donald Trump writes speeches.

  • @harryrudd8626
    @harryrudd8626 7 років тому +1

    This was such a great episode.

  • @spakjoeXD
    @spakjoeXD 7 років тому +2

    Greg "twitch"simmons at it again.

  • @Rockmachine99
    @Rockmachine99 7 років тому

    When everybody has a "special," it's not that special. Let's find a new word.