What pisses me off is a lot of other women (especially older women) look up to men for knowledge or whatever. My husband and I are both medical professionals, and I’ve noticed that my parents, especially my mother doesn’t take my advice seriously. But when my husband gives her the same bloody advice, she acts like she’s hearing it for the first time, and like it’s a revelation.
this is so true. I've also noticed how in a workplace everybody (including women) tends to ask men for advice or assistance, even if there are people of the same gender available with exactly the same qualifications and experience. like we always assume that a guy would know better. kind of sad.
Please cover the "False Romantic Lead", the partner/fiance who merely exists as an obstacle to stop the leads from getting together, and is disposed of easily. Bill Pullman in "Sleepless in Seattle" could count!
and how the female version of this almost is always an 'uptight' feminine girl who's left for the laidback 'cool' girl, which only further reinforces the idea that women need to act as much like men as possible in order to be worthy of being loved (while of course remaining slim and conventionally attractive)
How to avoid mansplaining: don’t assume you know everything and talk to people as equal. Also, I ADORE your unscripted thoughts at the end of the video. Please do more!
One big problem. I have an iq of 135 and almost remember everything said to me. If you get into an debate with me you know i knie almost everything about that subject.
what if the woman is ignorant and does not want to listen? and if the opposite happens? that an ingreida woman explain to me something that she does not know in the least? "womanspleaning"? What if the man simply saw that you are confused about something and wants to give you a piece of information? what happens is that literally feminists want to see what is between the legs to just blame there
@@leahmarie112 Thisss. So frustrating! Last time it happened during a meeting I said: "Are you ok? Because you're literally repeating what I just said" with a face like: 🤨 This made me look I was concerned (hell no) and it definitely made the others in the meeting look at him like "yeah, actually why the hell is he doing that ? " Lol , we moved on so fast to the next topic.
In my culture, before the term "mansplaining" existed, we used the term being "p'tite madamer" which can be translated to "being darlingized" because men would start their sentence with "Ma p'tite madame" (which can translate by "oh darling" or "honey") before mansplaining you.
I've never heard this expression before, but that's a very accurate term for it. I was just wondering how we could say 'mansplaining' in French... "hompliquer" just doesn't sound great. I just looked up translations and found 'mecspliquer" et "pénispliquer" which... yeah, that works too. ^^
They expect you to know NOTHING, then their fragile male ego is hurt when they realize you have actual SKILLS. Because, *gasp*, a WOMAN in a MALE dominated field who's GOOD at her work? Unbelievable
@@saraamin5494 ikr, this Tfw they want to explain to you what Linux is without asking you anything before when you're actually working as sys admin and programmer as a side job next to computer science studies Just this assuming you wouldn't know anything about it without any evidence to assume so Oh and the lamest excuse - "you don't look like a programmer" ?????????
They are everywhere. They are very annoying to me as a man so I'm sure they are far worse to you. I wish there was a woman on my team because I've always found the team dynamic better when it is more diverse.
When I was trying to talk to ppl about being a scientist in the pharmaceutical industry so many men told me to choose something easy so I can manage my home life once I get married. I was so fucking shocked.
Hello, fellow Nerd. What part? I am in Web Development. I have men who are not in tech try to explain to me that I do not know what I am talking about.
I was mansplained about corsets by one of those manly men-types. He said that they're barbaric and I said they can actually be quite comfortable if they're fitted properly. He said that's not right and I don't know what I'm talking about. I then tell him I've worn corsets. He said I must not have worn them properly because they're supposed to be uncomfortable. I said that I was fitted by someone who designs and makes corsets and told him about how they were worn and used historically from what I learned from a UA-camr who is a fashion historian. He said I need to stop spreading false information because I don't know what I'm talking about and what I wore was probably not a real corset. I then gave up.
Damn🤦♀️Sending love to all of you in medical fields, I prefer female doctors and medical professionals (my experiences with them were much better than with their male counterparts) , make me feel less worried and more confortable. 💙
i think The Queen's Gambit is different from the other examples mentioned. Beth actively seeks help from her friends, because she knows there is structure/strategy to chess and she can't win on impulse alone. the boys know she is a genius and a better player than they are, but she seeks their support and encouragement. and in the end, it is a combination of her genius instinct and their advice which helps her become a champion.
Yep, and the guys turn up at specific points when she needs help; one just after the death of her mother when it is just getting out of bed every morning and doing something, and the other one when she needs help with her addictions. If you are competing in a heavily male dominated industry/ scene like that, most of your allies will be male, because most people you will meet are male, as will most of your enemies be. She also has female allies remember; and the moral of the ending is teamwork. The Russians are helping each other, something which did happen in real life, and it is legitimate to mount a team defense rather than an individual defense in that sort of situation, you are the figurehead of a bigger team.
@@kahkah1986 I agree with you on this. I work in a male-dominated profession (theater tech-scenic artist) and have often looked to my male colleagues for help. The problems I've had are with men who either ignored my instructions when I was in charge (this happened to me in Hollywood A LOT) or men who chose to tell me how to choose colors or how to paint what I already knew how to paint. My favorite was the guy who was a fine artist who told me what I did wasn't actually art. I stood him in front of a drop painting of a waterfall (18 feet high) and told him to try it. He conceded. One thing you learn in a male-dominated profession is that if you don't speak up for yourself, they won't respect you and they will walk all over you.
Especially at the end where her opponents get extensive help, so in fact she just gets on their level by having her own support group. Even if in the end she didn't use any of the discussed strategies but uses the advantage of having received different perspectives to go for a different strategy.
@Nile Yeah, we may love seeing all these men help Beth along the way but damn how not realistic it is. Still though I'll take it, it's nice to have sth hopeful, even unrealistic at times.
“But a funny thing happens when you tell a man that you don't want to get married: they don't believe you. They think you're lying to yourself or to them or you're trying to trick them in some way and you end up being made to feel worse for just telling the truth.” ― Jami Attenberg, All Grown Up
It’s complicated. Women hide their intentions all the time. I remember being turned down for a date back when I was in community college, only for that same girl to become upset when I took her friend out on a date. According to girl #1, I didn’t try hard enough to win her over.
As a woman with several nerdy interests (manga, anime, tabletop rpg, video games, comics) I can say that I had a lot of frustrating experiences with this. I think the worst part honestly, is when you feel that you might be the oversensitive one, it might all be in your head, because your other friends might not see it as mansplaining at all, just someone trying to be helpful. If someone actually listens to you and considers yours opinions valid, it makes a lot of difference. Just an advice if you have a female friend saying someone is mainsplaining to her: listen to her, do not dismiss what she says just because your experiences with the person in question might be different. It does not mean you have to believe everything at face value, just know it takes some courage to actually bring up conversations like these.
As a fellow woman nerd, I feel that :) Like I've witnessed guys get over the shock that I know about comics/anime (and in some cases know more than them). Thankfully, now all my guy friends are fully aware of my nerdiness and we can just fan rant together lol.
@@amandak.5967 fan rant is the most beautiful thing in the world, like exploring if a character is into some weird fetish because you have a theory and debating it with friends. I think mansplaining is so prevalent in nerd circles because we are use to explaining fandoms to normies or even other nerds that not necessarily share that particular nerdy interested, but on the other hand being condescending is unexcusable and misogyny is common also so maybe half and half?
@@Puerco-Potter Yep, but I also think part of the problem is the image that people have of certain fandom or communities. Like in the case of video games, the image of a very white, straight, male demographic ignores the fact that women, poc and lgbt were always a part of the gaming community and among designers and creators. So when you express your opinion, sometimes people treat you like someone from outside criticizing things that people inside the group know more about. It's almost like for some people you have to "prove" you are a real gamer, otaku, etc.
I love tablepot rpg and for some time now I'm also a GM. My friends are amazing and usually I don't deal with such situations but one guy once (he's not my player we just talked on one discord server) started explaining the basics of roll20 to me. My friends are living in different cities so we have to play online. I told him like seven times that I know how roll20 work because I've been using it for months and he was still trying to send me videos with tips for begginers 🙄
@@allamariss2951 Yesss, this! I also DM and most of the players are fine. I just had the bad luck of having a problem player during my first campaign. He kept criticizing my choices, put his own music during the battles, calculated the damage (it was pokemon tabletop united, lots of operations just to know how much damage someone took) when I kept asking him to stop. It was so frustrating. The thing is, we played Vampire the masquerade with another DM (a guy) before and he was fine.
I’m an architect with 10 years experience, can’t count the amount of times men with less experience than me have tried to explain something I already knew.
I'm an architecture student, hope things change by the time I graduate (pretty doubtful), but luckily so far working in teams only with women has been great (in the one that there was a boy too, we fell out and was definitely the worst I had). Anyways respect to my female professors and all female architects like you and female students, you are tge ones I get strength from and look up to. 💙
OMG same. And I was more qualified than most of my male collegues. I was the ONLY female architect, and was usually treated as if i was the secretary, ask me to fetch coffee, photocopy, till new clients ACTUALLY ASKED ME IF I KNEW HOW TO USE A PHOTOCOPIER, and actually surprised 1. because yes i knew how to use a damn printer, but also always surprised to find out I WAS an achitect in the firm (usually after telling me what a "GOOD JOB" i did by PHOTOCOPYING A DAMN WORD DOC.
i think is even worse with young woman and girls. they always assume we are uneducated in every topic, even in woman’s issues. i was already mansplained about periods like i don’t have plenty of them since i was 12
@@tracyroweauthor lol wasn’t that amazing, it was my uncle (who works on health but still) explain to me that i shouldn’t be so “sensitive” about my periods, explaining how it was normal and women were dramatic about it
@@ceciliatoledo837 That's such bullshit. Especially bad if he works in health. There are so many women who have really painful periods, who throw up or can't stand upright, or have other issues. And really bad period pains can be a sign of something else which should be taken seriously, not dismissed. And even when the pain isn't "that bad", you should still be allowed to complain, periods really suck.
Same! I (23) recently got explained what a used tampon is supposed to look like, as if I don't see plenty of them every month (the context of that conversation was weird already, but that's another story)
Eric Dinesh I tried to call off work because my cramps were so painful. He said I needed a doctors note otherwise I’d get a write up and possible termination. So I would go into work on my periods. He was dismissive of the pain. My heavy period and cramps ended up being ovarian cysts which I needed surgery for. Got a doctors note for that, of course. He was a pretty sexist boss.
Eric Dinesh I got the surgery and my periods are no longer two weeks long and so heavy I need a tampon and an overnight pad on at all times. I thankfully no longer work there, but I feel bad for his daughter and any other female employees of his.
I have a theory. We as human all like to explain. I sure remember I liked to explain stuff like mensplainer when I was younger. But as a girl, I was told many times to not do that because that makes me sound pushy or mean or too bossy. Then I find it hard to talk about anything without thinking about what other people think of me, then I eventually just learnt to shut up. Not saying explaining is good behaviour, but it is alarming that such behaviour is only called out when you are women, men get away with it.
Uhm why is explaining bad behaviour? Explaining something keeps you in check if you actually understood something. If you can explain it and someone else learns from your explanation you understand it sufficiently and you have contributed to general knowledge share, which is one of the pillars of human knowledge production. It is also as you noticed fun. On top of that while explaining you can get new ideas and others can point out holes in your knowledge and add knowledge of their own. It's all about how you explain and talk about technical stuff that matters. In short: stop being pretentious, stop thinking you know everything, stop thinking anyone else knows nothing and explaining sth/ sharing and exchanging knowledge is actually a highly positive thing. Why do we need to make this as complicated and honestly screwed up as possible?
explaining and mansplaining are two different things. We're all at some point explaining something (kind of like I am here) for varying reasons. Mansplaining takes it to a whole different level. It's based on the notion that a man knows more about a given subject than a woman, even when she may be an expert on the subject. Mansplaining is usually delivered in a condescending tone.
Explaining is often used as a way for a person who is learning something new and is excited about it, to reinforce these new ideas. You can observe this especially in children, but in anyone with passion for a subject. Men are more obsessive than women, and thus are more likely to explain things in this way. It isn't automatically condescending.
OMG, yes. When I was at school, I've been doing aikido for three years already, when that guy came. After he was doing it for a while he was still really bad and it was physically painful to do with him techniques (it should not be painful the way he did if you are doing everything right. And the trainer also told it to him). Unfortunately for me he had a crush on me and tried to stand in a pair every time he could chase me((( But the worst was the fact, that one day he decided for some reason that he is a true master and started teaching me how to aikido despite the fact that he was still awful in it. I was so mad!!! But also to shy and polite to tell him to stop. I thought I would upset him. 🤦♀️ I think that men can do such things so easily to women, because women are told so often to be "good girls" and think that something terrible will happen if somebody will call them "rude" and "impolite". P.S. And I also had a higher kyu (degree) than he had, but he didn't care at all. 🤷♀️
Ugh! This "you have to be a good girl" thing has totally f*cked us all. I'm working on it, but sometimes I feel so guilty about standing up for myself...
Lol, he was probably trying to impress you. Men sometimes try to sound smart to impress women. But in cases like this it just creates the opposite impression :D
Let me explain to you how men are . This is not mansplaining - this is explaining what could be going on from a man's perspective 1) Men like to impress girls they have a crush on. Just check every nature movie - it matters for the female that male are better than them in some aspect. Pure evolution. Also, current data shows women like to pick partners above them - a level up. You will see men marrying down the economic ladder without complain. Not a woman without trying to move up at least after marriage - push the guy to earn more etc. These are evolutionary behaviours. Nothing wrong. Summary - He was trying to impress you when he was teaching you. While for you, it was all about how much you know and how much he knows - A man is dumb enough to ignore all this in love. At least the young ones. While the world goes mad, learn to appreciate this quality in a man - if you think it is annoying - you can try telling the guy that you are better than him. Or show him. Usually men will still stick arround after they are impressed. But I understand - men in crush can be a pain in the A. Nothing to do with mansplaining. The hormones. 2) Offcourse - in professional environment if men get unfair advantage - do one thing that anyone must - Speak up - don't sit quiet. Cribbing with these liberal junkies in some remote internet corner will not help. Not one bit. You can take all this as mansplaining or an explanation about men from a man himself or you can start womansplaining to me about men. Your choice.
The Queen’s Gambit doesn’t count. They help her (specially in the end) inspired by the russians who help each other. It’s not about them being men, it’s about teamwork. And helping her win. The fact that they are male is just obvious. Chess, specially in those years, was a men dominated sport. So obviously she met a lot more of men who could help her than women. The other moments they help her it’s bc they DO have more knowledge of the game. She was used to win by just instinct and she had to develop to win the best.
I thought it was funny in its complexity. While I think some of the men definitely approached her from a place or attitude of mansplaining, the overall message to me ended up being one of community and mutual support. They mansplained to her, she beat them, they conceded her superior knowledge and skill, until they ultimately came together as a team. I think mansplaining is often deployed to put a woman "in her place," while the men in The Queen's Gambit set out with that intent only to rethink upon witnessing her potential. They then challenged her and contributed as they were able. The men who signed her up for her first tournament were more traditional mansplainers. She had to become open to their input, and they had to acknowledge her skill. That said, the book was written in 1983 by a man, so I find it somewhat unsurprising to find a lot of mansplaining in the story.
What got me was her "downfall" like we as women look so cool and sexy when we are drunk and depressed hahaha hilarious, it looks more like a men's fantasy. The book, series direction, production and script is done by all men btw.
happens to me all the time. i teach yoga and despite having practiced for over 30 years commonly have male beginners explain yoga stuff to me. thanks guys!! women from class never do this. and i mean never.
@@christopherbrown5409 because it's an annoying experience, only men explain yoga to her even though she is more experienced for thirty years. Obviously some women will sympathize and relate to her. Did you not read the comment?
@@philippinevlogsandgamingpl7671 what in his comment make you believe he cares what women like? I am not pro mansplaining or this guy, but really, what is your point with that? That men should do things that women like instead of having real morals?
Oh gosh, that happens a loooot at my work, I'm basically in a team full of guys and I'm the only girl. Literally today, Our boss was asking about what we could do to be more organized with a work platform that we use, and I said that we could change X things, and then one of the guys said EXACTLY the same I said and everyone was like "good work team! we will take into consideration the things you both said" and I'm like damnn, he didn't say anything new. I mean, I don't really care if I take the credit for something as long as we can deliver the job BUT when something like this happens sooo often it kinda upsets you...
@@chuckm1961 okAaAaAay....??????? It happens A LOT more to women. A LOT MORE. like good for you, it happened a few times but I HIGHLY doubt you experience it to the same degree women do. Like 🙄🤚
@@chuckm1961 Dude, you've missed the point entirely by failing to include anything that shows you have even a vague sense of empathy for literally all womankind. Basically, what exactly have you added to this conversation with your observation that "This has happened to me, too"? Yeah, so? Does that not make you feel empathetic to this universally cultural problem, y'know, the one that's actually being dissected and pondered and looked at from a variety of angles in the video you're commenting on? What was the point of your comment, please, I would be very interested to know. Acting like a hurt little boy with all the sarky "Yes ma'am, sorry ma'am" stuff merely highlights that you are being deliberately tone deaf to other people's problems and challenges. Seriously, what's the point of watching videos like this if you aren't willing to open up your mind a crack to allow other people's viewpoints, experiences and opinions in in the first place? This is an "All Lives Matter" type response, and I for one am getting sick of it now... grow up and stop your whining.
But in La La Land....Sebastian was the expert on jazz? And he didn't automatically assume she didn't know anything about it, he asked what she meant by she didn't like jazz, and then shared something he was passionate about. It is stifling, repressive, and divisive to insinuate that a man can't express his dreams and something he cares deeply about, especially when we are trying to counteract toxic masculinity where men are compelled to suppress their emotions. That's really the only example that really puzzled me. We as women should strive to be confident enough in ourselves that our first reaction isn't defensiveness. It's completely justified because we have experienced real discrimination and sexism, but I believe we will be more effective if we can transcend that mentality and discern legitimate threats on which we can focus our efforts combating.
He could've just asked her why, got her response, and respect her perspective. I'm an art nerd who loves to travel. I don't coerce anyone I'm with to love those things, unless they express interest. That's why I still have friends.
@@selalewis9189 People aren’t gonna like art unless you convince them to. Maybe you should be more comfortable sharing your passions. If you explain why something is good, then you may convert them. Speaking passionately is not coercion.
@@Ergoperidot did she ask him to? I only saw the beginning of the movie because I thought it was crap. If she asked him to, that's great. If she clearly wasn't interested and didn't ask him and he continually kept trying to force her to come around to his way of thinking, then that's why this clip was included. And if people don't like art, they don't like art. I don't like sports and you can argue until you're blue in the face, I still won't like sports. Before you argue with me, I'm an artist. I work in theater. You can't force people to like art if they don't like art.
I'm kinda offended by the fact that they used that scene from la la land. Dude he was basically talking about his passion, his love for jazz, I mean is not like Mia actually was interested in jazz or an expert. It was the same the other way around when Mia was explaining him what acting meant to her
Yeah, I felt the same way about the scene of The Davinci Code. I mean, the main character Robert Langdon is a university professor in symbology in history and it's because of his expertise that he get pulled into the story in the first place. In every novel featuring Langdon, he's accompanied by a competent female professional who compliments Langdon's shortcomings in order to solve the plot. He's in fact quite a gent both in the novels as in the movie adaptations.
Yeah I love their videos and these topics need to be talked about but some of the examples they pick don't help or even hurt their point when you actually give them context
Yes guys, I mean, I'm a woman in an engineering field and I know how it feels when someone mansplain something to me, but this scene feels sooo different. I don't think we should listen Seb's words from the mouth of a men but from the mouth of an artist, I remember that when I watched lalaland the first time I was amazed by Seb's perspective, and for me that talk they were having felt like a really intimate moment where Seb was able to fully talked about his passion to Mia without been mocked like everyone else did to him. A man can actually make you realize something you did not noticed before, non regarding gender we can always learn from each other
I have two suggestions. 1. The Teen Idol Trope- How they breakout, very clean and saccharine then try to raunch up their persona for a more mature career path. 2. The Cool Teacher- The teacher we all wish we had or have who inspires us to be better versions of ourselves with unorthodox methods.
The Teen Idol is especially interesting to me. The sheer amount of damage the rampant sexualisation, lack of privacy, and everyone treating their romantic lives as acceptable "celebrity news" is horrifying as it is fascinating, from a Psychology major's perspective.
The Teen Idol Trope is a very good one, because is always hard to accept they grow up and we're always judging them based no their adolescent de image.
@@mcchilde2903 I always thought Sharon Norbury was awesome. When the Burn Book was published, she helped end the chaos by teaching the girls to "express (their) anger in a healthy way." She also called out Regina for her manipulative and backstabbing tatics. There are many theories about Regina George having the anatomy of a dictator. Her classmates gave her the power. Ms Norbury taught them to form together and communicate with non violent acts and take Regina's power away. Even after Cady takes the blame, she still sees goodness in her students and forgives her.
Reminds me of that post about the dude who warned other men not to get "too close" to women. He did, once, and he could "feel" her periods. And that's just not worthwhile. He was talking about empathy. That's it. Or they were so close that she allowed him to play Freaky Friday in her, temporarily. Maybe that's it. 🤷🏻♀️ And using the fact that he was CLOSE to a woman, once, to mansplain everything woman-related. Including saying that "periods are just your body telling you to get pregnant," giving advice on birth control, and ending it with the classic: "It's for your own good." Please, look it up. Screenies are on Google images. It's so unbelievable. Look up: "trust me, I was emotionally close with a woman, in fact close enough to feel her goddamn periods." Cheesus. 🤦🏻♀️ The responses to it are also 👌🏻.
I live in France, and apparently the French word for 'mansplaining' is 'mecsplication', which I can't believe is an even better play on words than the English 😂
@@candelacottis208 I would add that « he explained it to me » in French is « il m’explique » which sound similar to mecsplique or the verb version of mecspliquation
I hope you'll one day talk about the "Not like other girls" phrase. So many people don't realize how insulting it is, when they use it as a compliment. Also many girls are accused for seeing themselves as "Not like other girls" when they are just being self expressive.
I want something on "not like other men" too. We shame women for being edgy way too much,whereas guys who want to be edgy hardly get any criticism. Why are we so obsessed with criticising edgy culture but only for women? You see so many youtubers and those ridiculous tiktokers repeating the same stuff about edgy girls we've all heard millions of times. When will be talk about wannabe edgy boys?
@@mcchilde2903 We have a similar concept in Latin America about guys who claim not to be like other guys, except they act as feminists and allies in order to get on women's good side as well as seem politically correct when, in fact, many of them actually use that opportunity to prey on women, mansplain feminism to them, or simply be sexist in any way but hey! You can't call them out, they're feminists too, you silly! We call this type of guy "aliadín (a play on the words "aliado" and "Aladín" to make it sound like a name), and also just straight up "aliado".
@@GabbasaurusRex Yes, I understand how it works. If a man, assume all worst possible motives. If a woman, give every benefit of the doubt and assume all best possible motives.
But but... Seb was explaining something Mia didnt like or knew, she was literally asking him things about the jazz she knew versus the jazz he was showing her. It was more about telling her why he loved it rather than explaining facts ignoring wht she knew about the subject :(
@Luise Herpich Also having a "know-all manner" isnt necessarily mansplaining either. As i understand mansplaining specifically means men having a "know-all manner" towards women, because they are women and you assume that because of that they dont know. If we all could be precise about such terms and would stop throwing them around aimlessly it would be very nice. It wouldn't lead to so much controversy, confusion and agitation. In short: it would produce better results assuming you actually want to better society and not just stir it up to chaos.
@@leahstone9938 She didn’t understand it properly, but honestly he didn’t either because jazz is certainly not dying as he says it is lol. There are too many subgenres within jazz for someone to generalize it as background music.
@Luise Herpich Thank you for voicing it out...I had the same feeling when I was watching the video. I agree that some of the clips are just to emphasize the mansplaining Irl..but it needs to have a background context else anything a man opens his mouth to explain to a women is termed as mansplaining which is not right. If i know that someone is an expert at certain thing and I am talking over them just coz they are women, then its mansplaining... I would consider it just rude and ignorant irrespective of the gender of the other person.
A variation of this I get at work is when I'm dealing with a technical issue for a customer and maybe I'm sleuthing out the solution in real time and a customer will try to get me to defer to a male coworker. I love LOVE being able to say, well I trained him so if he knows it, I know it.
Mansplaining has always existed but I think it's so prevalent now because of how social media operates. You can literally see people trying to "win" internet points in real life
My problem with manspaining is that it is often confused with comments coming from a know-it-all who would say and behave the same in front of a male counterpart.
The most egregious mansplaining I've ever encountered was when a man proceeded to explain to me how a vacuum aspiration abortion is performed directly after I had just told him I'd been present during 11 of them.
Well, the problem is that we don't know when people manplain. They can over explain because they lack confidence, because of your background because you are American British but techically Assuming that someone is mansplaning Even when you just assume, can make people think that they are over stressed and stuff. We are never sure of sexism. But I looked It up, and technically, a man can mansplain to another man and think of superiority for no reasons. And a woman can explain band stuff to another vwoman because she is a woman so she is mansplaning without being a man. So Gender does not matter. Also mansplaning us like man's reading. Some do it to relax and some ti take more space than women. also if a minority who has confidence issue over explain to a non minority are they minority explaing or mansplaning. And also, I am not saying never to assume mansplaning I just say that if someone is mansplaning are there sexist.
@@jojoyayathereal Men don't know when they are mansplaining because they're so used to it, people don't question their daily habits. But believe me, the person they are doing it TO knows, as well as sexism in general. No, we often can be sure of sexism, because men don't talk to each other in the same way. For instance, men will challenge the authority of women who have established their credentials and are in a better position of knowing than they are, but they still don't feel respect for their intelligence, because of their gender. As in the case of the man attempting to explain to me how vaccuum aspirtation abortions work after I'd just said I'd been present for 11. He wasn't "overexplaining", because he wasn't asked for an explanation and all the information available to him made it clear that I was not in need of information. He wasn't nervous, he was arrogant and condescending, sure that his thoughts would invalidate my lived experience if only I listened to him, meanwhile, he was not listening to me, because he was sure that I wasn't worthy of being taken seriously and there's nothing I'd know that could possibly enlighten him.
@BoJack Horseman lmao i am guessing you are a 16 yo who tries to be edgy and funny but fails miserably and who calls someone incel for all the wrong reasons without using that pea brain of yours. But go ahead i am sure after this reply you are going to call me an incel too
That moment when you are a biology student in university and your mom is a biologyst with a doctored, but your uncle that once read a resume about the origin of species try to explain to bouth of you how evolution works (Sorry for any bad spelling, english is not my first language)
@@sophiacozzo8964 So your uncle is a sexist and ur mom didn't cut ties. :l I rather think he was ignorant and u are a sexist trying to generalize billions of people because u had a bad experience with a person of that group. I could do the same because my mother is an alcoholic. I could then pretend all women are alcoholics and by your definition, it is logical.
My reaction to mansplaining is mostly: "What makes you think I didn't know that before?" or something like that, depending on the situation and the topic. I started doing that, when men began to tell me things about my subject in university when they themselves were studying something completely different. This question (in the best case) makes them think and reflect their behaviour.
@@Choshako So far I can only talk about one friend. He did this really often and he answers, that he wasn't sure if I knew so to make sure, I understand what he is explaining in the following parts (communication via voice messages), he just adds it. I told him that it would be nice if he simply asked beforehand, if I knew xy, cause otherwise it's offending to me. He tries to do better now and I can see the improvement. I'll let you know if I get the chance to ask these questions more frequently!
I work in wine service. During an employee holiday party, we had bottles of sparkling wine and I went to open one. The wine maker and one of the hospitality hosts immediately came over to me and started coaching me about how to open it. After I did open, I set down the bottle on the table, and said, "You guys know that I've been in this business for five years, right?" Edit: just to clarify, in fairness to the guys in question, sparkling wine/champagne bottles do take a little more finesse to open that still wine bottles, and we only worked with them for events at that particular establishment. It wasnt completely implausible to consider that I might not have known how--just misguided to assume that I didn't.
Imo, 90% of mansplaining cases feature an insecure woman getting upset at a man for trying to help. For some reason, these types of women believe we’re thinking “mhuahaha, look at this helpless little woman who requires masculine assistance” instead of “huh, I should probably make myself useful and help out.” And when that’s not the case, we’re probably just trying get positive attention from the opposite sex in general. It’s like the opposite of Occam’s Razor with these women. They automatically assume malice instead of genuine concern or attention seeking.
@@nicolasleroux5302 She worked there, what made them think she wouldn't know how to open a wine bottle? If that's a strategy to get the opposite sex's attention, then it's a really bad one.
@@nicolasleroux5302 No, that's the thing--when we notice this kind of condescension, it tends to be overwhelming clear to us that the person doing the condescending sees their own actions as benevolent.
Men do it to partly to gain validation from women. It's like desperately saying "I may not be pretty, but I think I am smart. Please love me! Please tell me I am good for something! "
Explaining things about themselves to someone is actually a pretty good way of manipulation, it's pretty easy once you learn to Cold read... I am guilty of using it to speed up the process of people opening up to me, I make general descriptions about what I see and they start filling the blanks and pow now you are intimate and can talk about your personal traumas. In the past I used to seduce, the "I know you more than yourself" trope, but I realized it was not okay and as you say, a way to appear smart without actually doing anything...
@@Puerco-Potter it's sounds like you are doing a good job of working on yourself. I think I too sometimes force intimacy by announcing my trauma to explain my behavior.
Well, a lot of men out there go through their whole lives without receiving ANY kind words or encouragement of any sort, so if they're looking for some sort of comfort and validation then I can't say I blame them.
I am a father of four and I have spent most of my time telling them about everything I know, have experienced and ideas and concepts that arise in situations. But... as they grow older, I do get a lot of "I know that, Dad." So, I am learning to reel my information back a bit... even at the expense of their education. It will be easier when they move out, lol.
what if one day you'll be a single mom then you're trying to explain to your son about things then he said "I know it already, mom". what are your thoughts about it especially that you're trying to be a good parent?
As someone who is female presenting and with a wide variety of passions & interests I will tell you that I def get a lot of pushback from men if I even attempt to talk about something I know about. If I try to explain anything to them especially if it’s something they don’t know about they throw a temper tantrum. I personally enjoy having conversations that include the exchange of ideas without competition. That’s the part that men seem to be incapable of. Most of my convos with men usually feel like a forced competition or debate when none is required. It’s exhausting.
I’m a tomboy, so if guys want to compete with me they will issue their provocation often enough, and will sooo lose every time... I don’t shy away from adopting the masculine norm in response. Though maybe one day the equal will step forth. This would have to be someone who knows how to listen for a change. Listening is considered feminine yet it is the source of my own strength, the reason I can best the mansplainers, ‘coz you get this deeper source of insight.
I hate when someone explains something obvious to me, especially because I'm into horror movies. "It's not real, you know. All fake." No shit I'm not five. I've been watching these films my whole life you just watched Halloween twice and are apparently an expert.
@@Taushathetech Yeah. Whenever I tell them I know horror movies aren't real they look at me weirdly for a second then they go on to begin to talk about something or other. Usually they talk about how it's a shame so and so actress or so and so movie didn't have more naked women.
Wait they were telling you what happens in the movie isn’t real? Like killing people? I should hope not, that film would be very illegal and probably hard to get hold of.
When I came out to my male friend he tried to explain to me what bisexuality is and how I wouldn't identify as bi anymore if I properly understood the definition. The same thing happened when I told a different male friend about how I don't plan on giving birth to children he assumed I was scared of pregnancy and childbirth proceeded to explain about pregnancy complications.
I feel for you! I don't work in construction but have a great deal of DIY experience. Every trip to the hardware store is an effort to not make eye-contact with ANYONE so I don't have to explain or justify my purchases.
@@maggierobertson2962 Is it so? In Germany I have to chase someone who can explain what and how to do stuff. I get never mansplained but only the information I ask for. Now I feel lucky not being mansplained in hardware stores.
It isn't mansplaining when you don't know anything. They are telling you how to do your job because you don't know how to put two rat fucks into your work. You can't even properly construct a word. Its mansplaining, not man splaining.
The scene from Friends in which Ross is DEFENDING evolution is misplaced here. Phoebe was intentionally trolling him and in the process used some of the most spurious and uneducated arguments possible. Ross' honesty as a scientist is then weaponized against him when he admits that 'science' doesn't claim 100% knowledge. This is a destructive episode in which the ACTUAL expert is mocked for explaining things to a person who exhibits a ridiculously awful grasp on the topic. One example of when Friends was actively bad for society.
Hey, girls, I just think I should tell y'all this is called the comment section and is used to leave impressions about the video, you might not know that but is also great for ironic meta-commentary.
My mom is a doctor, my brother and I are medical students, but that doesn´t stop our dad from constantly trying to explain something medicine-related to us. Also thank you for pointing out that C.J. census nonsense. The fact that she didn´t know ANYTHING about census (or that she wouldn´t be able to study it by herself) was straight up dumb. I am not so sold on Donna-Josh one since Donna usually asked about things she didn´t quite understand and I always thought that the way Josh explained it was part of their mutual teasing. But there´s probably something to it.
I remember starting out in my first job, I eventually worked as a civil service type job, and the best advice I was given when trying to get information out of people was always play a bit dumb. Ask stupid questions. Get people to fill in the space for you. Let your sources make assumptions about you if it works in your favor. At the very least, it lets the source do much of the heavy lifting for you in simplifying stuff for your reports. Obvs, this is not the behavior for your actual office, just 'outsiders'. Is that what is maybe happening here?
the point with TWW was that it was almost always the female characters who were dewy and wide-eyed and needec a man to explain simple processes to them. Sorkin did this as a means of exposition, but you rarely saw the male characters in the expository position. That being said, TWW is still the best show ever
I agreed with the CJ part. That did not make sense that she didn’t understand it. But to be fair; there are a lot of policies and logistical points within their day to day, that it is fair she might not have full knowledge of, and would lean on her co-workers for further information. As for Donna; she was very junior. She never finished college and could not decide on a major; so it makes TOTAL sense that Josh would explain things. And there were times that the men where often the dumb ones in a situation. Even as simple as Sam not knowing anything about the White House, and Leo’s daughter calling him on it
@@ScarlettAlexandraS Yes, and it is a skill in civil service type work (I think that is what TWW was about - I probably should watch it ;0) to be able to explain very technical, expert level stuff to people who are total non-experts in the field. The main mistake I made as a newbie was to skip that step, but especially dealing with politicians etc. who will often have no previous experience of what the expert is talking about, it is actually quite important to prep the expert with quite simple questions so they don't blow it and come out too arcane. It is quite hard to strike a balance between realistic scenario vs plot exposition though in those type of shows.
Great outro at the end there! It's fun hearing you talk about which clips and themes resonated with you individually. Hope to see more of that in the future!
Ok, so from the Merriam-Webster definition of mansplaining that's used: "It's what occurs when a man talks condescendingly to someone (especially a woman) about something he has incomplete knowledge of, with the mistaken assumption that he knows more about it than the person he's talking to does." That in mind, can someone explain to me why the following examples in the video fit this example (honestly asking)?: La La Land: Why isn't it true that he's just trying to share the passion he has for jazz with this girl he's into, and isn't it a natural thing to try to get the people you like to like the things you like by explaining their merits? Ross and Phoebe: Why isn't Ross just being condescending but not mansplaining? The definition says mansplaining involves talking about "something he has incomplete knowledge of" but Ross is actually a paleontologist, so how does the definition apply here? Isn't it important to distinguish between being pedantic or condescending and mansplaining (thereby being sexist)? Queen's Gambit: Chess in the series is extremely male-dominated, so naturally most of Beth's interactions are with men. The men seem to understand that they are worse players than Beth, but come to help her at times when she's not in a good place and recognize that the Russians are better because they work together. I understood their help as the teamwork and support that Beth needs to become the best player she can be. How are they acting with the "mistaken assumption that [they] know more than [Beth]?" When Harry Met Sally: Where's the line between banter and condescension / mansplaining? West Wing: I think the CJ examples are definitely egregious because it doesn't make sense for someone of her position to not know about things like the Census, but why are Donna and Josh also instances of mansplaining when Josh actually canonically does have a lot more experience in the matters that he teaches Donna about and when Donna many times actually asks him to explain these things? I feel like there's sexism in the portrayals of the secretaries in the West Wing, but that's another story I guess. I think it's important to accurately define examples of mansplaining, and I want to know what about these examples constitutes mansplaining for my future social interactions. As always, I'm just looking to be a better person tomorrow than I am today, so if I've misunderstood anything I welcome any explanations as to why.
There's nothing from these examples that constitute mansplaining. This video starts with an accurate premise; but then becomes weakened by a number of poor examples.
It’s because she didn’t ask, at all. He just uses it as an excuse to rant about how she’s wrong and doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Like damn, buddy! I’m allowed not to like jazz, it doesn’t mean I’m uneducated about it. Why you are you so pressed? I guess an easier example to understand would be a woman saying she doesn’t like Star Wars, and then show a montage of a nerd ranting to her about it, even though Star Wars is a huge and simple series most people understand (sometimes it helps taking Ryan Reynolds out of the equation). Anyways, within the context of the movie it’s fine because she’s clearly into it, but they were talking about how movies often reframe mansplaining to be cute and romantic, when in reality it’s not so clear cut, so it’s a good example here. Like, it wouldn’t be mansplaining within the movie because it’s romantic and she clearly was into it and wanted to hear about his passion, but if we were outside movie magic, I’m not sure a dude ranting at me for how wrong I am would be something I’d like, especially since knowing more info doesn’t somehow mean Ill like it more. Removed from the context of “proving me wrong,” however, and the ranting becomes cute though. I don’t want to give off the impression that men expressing their interests is mansplaining and something women don’t want, because that would be cruel and untrue. Share your passions, dudes out there! Just make sure you aren’t belittling other people’s opinions or intelligence in the process. Some belittling is fine if it’s in the context of mutual teasing and flirting also, because that’s just how sarcastic teasing works. I think the incomplete knowledge part needs to be taken out. Like, someone can be an expert and still mansplain, as illustrated with the Star Wars example. He’s the expert on Star Wars, sure, but it doesn’t mean that she needed the explanation or that he would have given the explanation to say a male love interest. A lot of times dudes mansplain because they think women can’t have opinions different from them, they’re simply too dumb/ignorant on their own to have the right opinion, and that can happen regardless of whether he’s an expert or not. Should there be a new term for this??
I was thinking the same. Also for Star Wars, Han is confronting Leia about a truth that she obviously knows, but denies it. So it is something that has to be addressed by him, to be acknowledged by her. So since it was necessary to say, I don't see how it would be mansplaining. I feel like the video went a bit overboard with what constitutes mansplaining. They even contradicted the very same chart they were using as reference saying "If you said no to any of these questions you are definitely mansplaining", while when you follow the chart it can absolutely conclude that you are not mansplaining or just probably be mansplaining. So I find the video really oversimplifies the issue and paints a very black and white view. That being said, I also find the chart to be a bit oversimplified. It doesn't differentiate about explaining (mansplaining) something to a person and simply expresing ones opinion on a topic. The key difference being, that when you explain (mansplain) something you believe what you are saying is the only, factually right thing, while when you are telling someone about your opinion you are not trying to invalidate their own view, but just sharing your view on the matter, to offer the person a new perspective. I also think it is not fair to conclude, that when you explain or tell someone about something without them asking, you are probably mansplaining. In conversations you shouldn't have to ask to be allowed to express your opinion or to explain something you know. Also nobody does that. Just because someone didn't explicitly ask you to tell you about something doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to talk about it. If the person really doesn't wanna hear what you are saying, then you might be annoying or even condescending, but I wouldn't call it mansplaining. The person should just tell or signal you their disinterest in that case. And even if the person you are talking to is an expert on the topic and you are not, I think it is ok to talk about it, as long you are just expressing your personal opinion (in a respectful way of course). Because being an expert on a topic doesn't necessarily mean your opinion about it is right. There are doctors who say diseases should be treated with homeoppathic "medicine", there are scientists who deny climate change, there are people who studied law that say it would be right to shoot immigrants at the border. Ultimately everything comes down to personal interpretations and opinions. I believe EVERYBODY should ALWAYS consider that their opinion is wrong and be open to other perspectives, even if you ultimately reject them. So all in all I believe this (as so many topics) is far more nuanced than people think and should not be oversimplified at all.
@@allyli1718 I talked about this in my previous comment but I don't think telling someone about your perspective should be so easily be villainised. Trying to get people to see things in a new light is a very good thing I think, as long as it is done respectfully and with the knowledge that the own pespective is just that, a perspective of several different ones. Of course people are allowed to not like Jazz or Star Wars or whatever. That doesn't mean though, that you shouldn't be open about new perspectives through more information about such things. I think one should always be open minded, wich doesn't necessarily mean that you have to agree with the other person at the end, but you should at least give him a chance to sway your opinion I think.
As a man in tech, I've called out the rampant arrogance of men in this field. I'm grateful for this video because it's caused me to reflect on my own actions and how I need to change.
I follow a lot of female comic book creators on twt and it's almost comedic how this happens everyday like dude they wrote the book, they created the characters stop telling them their "headcannons" are not what the creator intended the story to be!
When Thor was explaining his world and all that, it was quite cool. Simple, straightforward, to the point, and not at all trying to feed his glory. No condescendingness.
That was a written dialog and not an actual conversation... In actual conversation you're bound to get into conflicts of ideas among other things... I don't get you guys...
Funny enough, George Bernard Shaw (the man who wrote 'Pygmalion') really hated the ending of my fair lady because they changed the ending from the original play (Eliza doesn't end up with Higgins) which undermined the message of the play
I love to see men pretending they don't know what we mean. "Oh, so, if a woman is wrong, we can't correct her?" Boy, if that's how you choose to understand it, then good for you.
@BoJack Horseman Watching someone with a Rick & Morty-tier username use the term “rightoid” while criticizing the cognitive abilities of other people is the most Reddit-level thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s as if someone stabbed you with a giant syringe and sucked all of the self-awareness out of you.
@BoJack Horseman Wow. How are you so blind to the fact that you’re a “le reddit army” loser spewing dead memes like “smooth-brained” while simultaneously acting like you’re smarter than anyone? It’s perfectly fine to like your Adult Swim cartoons and criticize rightist policies, but when you do these things WHILE mocking the intelligence of others, it makes you look completely ridiculous.
@BoJack Horseman I honestly think that you are wrong. In my opinion mainsplain term was too often used for agitation and used unprecisely (in this video as well). If it was corretly defined - a know it all attitude of men towards women because only because they are women - and also used only in such a way it wouldnt stir up so much backlash of men feeling attacked but not knowing what they have done wrong - probably because they actually didnt do something wrong. At least not something warranting an accusation of sexism. "And there are many scientific studies proving that rightoids have very weak cognitive abilities." I doubt that there are papers showing that IQ is lower in people leaning right than in people leaning left with a solid methodology. There is a shit ton of stupidity anywhere. Some people by circumstance fall into camp A and the others in B - not because one or the other is smarter than the other but because both are stupid (and with stupid i dont mean low IQ).
This was a great video. BUT, the Ross and Phoebe example is bad. I suggest you google the article on Ross and the downfall of critical thinking. He is not mansplaining he is defending critical thinking. The Ross and Rachel uterus example is a much better example.
I do have an issue with the Ross & Phoebe scenes being used here. Because regardless of gender, it is never wrong to try and educate a creationist (or a flat-earther, for that matter). Also Ross is a paleonthologist, so has specific expertise on that subject.
Also the Rachel scene too. Granted, he doesn't have a uterus, but he already has a child with his previous ex wife, so he "knows" more about what she's going through even though he doesn't know about the experience of it.
@@Mike90317 the fact you had to put quotation marks about the word "know" shows you that Ross does not in fact know what pregnancy is like. Rachel knew she felt painful contractions, and Ross definitely knows nothing about what she is feeling.
@@Mike90317 ALL women are diferent so even if Ross have "experience" with pregnancy he isn't feeling the pain that Rachel is going through, my aunt fell almost no pain while my mom describes the experience as a painful bloody movie, BOTH of them are valid.
Emily & Minerva, I apologize my comment came across as invalidating individual experiences. I thought that Ross providing some input was to help Rachel so she feels better and calm. 🤷🏻♂️
@@Mike90317 Sorry if I came across as rude, I have never had a baby but I sometimes suffer of horrible pain when I have my period and I've been told that It wasn't that serius even tho It made me feel miserable, sometimes saying something isn't that bad, even coming from a place of love, can feel like you aint been taken seriously.
It's a little odd to me to conflate IRL mansplaining to some of these pop culture examples. In a lot of these examples from movies and TV the "mansplaining" is clearly just a way for the writers to explain something to the audience through the character's dialogue. This is a common device used in TV and movies regardless of the characters' gender. For example: Christina Hendricks's Joan does this numerous times to Elizabeth Moss's Peggy in the first season of Mad Men.
After years of bad experience, I realized that the best way to make the man realize that he is talking s*** is to simply walk out of the scene when he is in the middle of his nonsense, saying "I am a bit busy now, I will listen to you later on." I find that empowering, liberating (because I don't care about his banter) and in a way, calming (because I get easily angered by such nonsense, better to leave)
Ok but hear this: not every man who explains something to a woman is mansplaining. Eg. Sebastian is just really passionate about jazz and he's just telling Mia about why he finds it cool
Yeah and I think the whole idea of "playing dumb" and "not being intimidating" to attract a man is bolstered by these portrayals of male superiority as romantic when it's absolutely not. I want to be able to converse as equals. Wouldn't you?!
My aunt’s husband, who I refuse to call my uncle, is the classic mansplainer and I hate spending time with him. The night before I took a trip to Japan, the two of them called me to wish me luck. Despite me having studied the language and culture for years now, he thinks he knows everything about Japan and Japanese because he lived there for a year and picked up a phrase or two. He “tested” me, asking what the Japanese word for hello was. Basic level 1 question aside, there are multiple ways of saying hello depending on the time of day and your familiarity with the person, so I mentioned that but gave the most well known: konnichiwa. He said I was wrong, gave a completely wrong answer (yoroshiku), and to add insult to injury my aunt then said HE should’ve given ME a list of phrases to study beforehand.
But why is mansplaining a bad thing? I mean, i dont understand what it is. Here in the Netherlands its not a thing, ive never ever heard someone saying that or read online about it on a dutch site or sub. It just means a man explaining something to a woman? Or can it also be a Woman to a Man? Is Mansplaining not just "being a smart ass "? Then its kinda sexist to make the man seem the bad guy with that term. Or is womansplaining also a thing? Because literally anyone can be a smart ass , woman too, right? I dont hhope i come over mean, i geniunely dont understand how its a male specific thing?
@@bas_ee So the video goes into a lot of depth about this, but here's a summary: Just explaining something isn't a problem. If you've been asked for your information or advice, and you're not being condescending, it's fine. The problem is that, at least in the US and Canada, and I've seen other people give examples from the UK and France and a variety of other places, there's a pervasive trend of men explaining things to women in a setting or in a way that they probably wouldn't with a man. As an example, explaining something to a coworker or a colleague at a professional event that you should be able to infer that colleague already knows, often without giving her a moment to explain that she already knows that and/or doesn't need assistance. It's the sort of thing that could be an innocent mistake, but that doesn't mean it's not harmful and frustrating, because you've also given everyone else around the vague impression that she couldn't have done that on her own. Oftentimes it's less clearly harmful but just very annoying, such as being a cis woman or other afab person being told by a cis man how hymens work, or how painful periods are, or any number of other things that he definitely knows less about than the person he's talking to. And in theory that could be ok if he approached the conversation like "hey, I heard this about periods, does that sound right to you?" or something like that, but usually when someone's mansplaining there's not an ounce of humility or awareness that maybe the other person has something to say that's worth listening to. I assume there isn't a similar "womansplaining" trend because women aren't really socially encouraged to speak with confident authority in the same way men are. Everyone fails sometimes to speak in a way that's both confident and respects the people you're talking with, but men are more likely to fail by becoming overconfident and talking over others, and women are more likely to fail by losing confident and deferring too much. They even have an example in the video, of a line in Pretty Woman being perceived as impressive when a guy says it, but self-important and kind of condescending when a woman says it. Also, at least based on my understanding of these terms, it's not "being a smart ass". Someone generally knows when they're being a smart ass, but I have been in conversations with well-meaning guys where they spend 10 minutes talking about something I already understand and they won't let me get a word in edge-wise because they're just so excited that they know something about a topic I seem to be interested in, and eventually they'll say something like "I read an article that went into more detail on this, I'll see if I can find it and send it to you", and I'll respond with exactly the article they got all this from and exactly where and when it was published and just watch their face fall as they realize the thing I'd been trying to say this whole time was "yes, I know, I read that same article, wasn't it good?" Edit: sorry, didn't mean to write you a novel, just trying to give helpful examples =)
I'm halfway through the video and I just want to acknowledge my current ambivalent feeling at this point. Yes, there are men who are way too confident and cartoonishly prone to "mansplain". In fact, they may not just do it to women, men seem to have been conditioned to show off whatever they know or may not know. HOWEVER, I can't help but notice that I personally very much like "mansplainers" and even being "mansplained to". There is both something instinctually attractive and rationally pleasant about someone who is forthcoming and willing to engage in interesting conversation with you, even if I know to some extent that they do it to impress. As someone who often do feel like the ignorant and shy young woman, I would play the part of interested listener and challenger of their ideas, and rarely feel dumbed down or looked down upon. I have even found very close friends and important mentors who like to "explain things to me". Do women do similar things? Possibly some older women but much fewer. Also, in some of the scenes I don't really feel much repulsion against the characters behaviour at all, e.g. the La La Land one seems fine, and the two chess players in the Queen's Gambit are really quite respectful and helpful to the main girl who definitely needed them as just friends, and neither of them were presumptuous enough to think that they were better than her. I wonder if I'm alone in these feelings?
You’re not alone. However my contention with this topic is a tad different. If someone explains something to me that I understand differently, I just respond with my understanding and we have this thing called a discussion 🤷🏻♀️
I had the exact same thoughts. I don't personally feel Gosling was mansplaining because he is an expert in jazz as a jazz pianist. He was just really giving his opinion, which he is completely entitled to give. Same with Queen's Gambit, they had expertise related to chess that she lacked. I hope if I have blindspots that someone would be willing to help me. I have been mansplained to before, but sharing of opinions, or explaining their viewpoint, just doesn't seem to be in the same category for me.
I'm pretty sure that you are not referring to mansplaining when saying that you find it attractive , there's a big difference between having meaningful conversations with someone with more experience or knowledge in a particular subject than when that person (men in this case) interrupts , is patronizing or looks down on you when you already know certain things , its not attractive when someone treats you like a child.
Yes, the video doesn’t use very good examples overall (not to mention, I usually see pop culture references differently from real life). You are a good listener, and that’s why you are equally able to challenge people’s ideas. I can relate to that, I find it very exciting too because there is an agreement to share knowledge - but when real life “mansplaining” happens it’s totally unattractive, because you are not treated as a listener, an equal, but as a child. It’s something creepy, like “you believe I am a child but you’re attracted to me in a way you want to impress me?” Ew.
As far as the evolution example from Friends in concerned: 1. Did Ross knew more about it than Phoebe? Yes. He is a paleontologist and has a PhD. 2. Did Phoebe ask him to explain it? Arguably so, in as much that she started the conversation by denying evolution, so she should at least have expected a respons. 3. Does Ross explain it in the same way as he would explain it to a man? No evidence of the contrary. In fact, I think he would have dumbed it down a bit if he was talking to, say, Joey.
Yeah, while I adore this chanel, and I think mansplaining is something real that should be explored, this episode was a miss for me, as so many of the examples were based on false equations, such as this.
I live on a narrowboat (6 years as a nomadic live aboard, so I move a lot), and it’s shocking the amount of times randomly passing men explain boating to me, usually while I’m at a lock. I called out a couple of men recently and it went well. On one occasion I was struggling with a leaky lock that wouldn’t open right away, was just about to partially open a paddle on the other side which would have levelled the water and fixed the issue, but a man came to just try shove the door open. The beauty of his face going from cocky to shocked was gratifying. He started to explain the lock to me, but I cut him off and asked what experience he had with boating. He started to say he’d been out twice on his Uncles boat, but he actually trailed off at the end of the sentence when he caught on why Id asked. In fairness to him, I explained the problem with the lock and what I planned to do, and he did help me again with the lock gate when I’d made the adjustments, and I thanked him and we parted on good terms. On another occasion a random man was mansplaining/dictating to any people coming through an east London lock how to work a lock. I asked him if he was a boater- he wasn’t! He then tried to mumble something about just helping people, but he had literally no lock or boat knowledge behind watching other people. He didn’t even have the tool to open the lock! So he physically couldn’t work a lock even if he knew how. OH, and another man who, when I didn’t go into a lock and move to the left as neatly as I could have due to the current from a weir, said ‘practice makes perfect’, when his boat had bow thrusters, and he admitted he couldn’t manoeuvre without them!! I should do a video on it
@@nosoynadaoriginal People keep saying that but I don't think that's good enough. Putting so much focus on one character takes away from being able to give it a proper deep dive.
The misconception is for it to be mansplaining the listener needs to be female. I can tell you males to this to other males all the time. You will also see males who are older or higher up in their profession doing this to males more junior or younger. It's actually really interesting to watch.
It is more about arrogance and unhealthy amount of confidence. I am a woman and I definitely do that a lot to both genders. It is not exclusively men trait 🤷♀️
Plus women do it to other women too. My mom and girls I knew from school did this to me a lot growing up. I wish there was a more gender neutral term for the phrase, because it implies that only men are guilty of this. Men do it too, but so do women.
@@trentonwelsh6859 no you didn't read my message wrong. This isn't exclusive to someone who is a work colleague. It could be someone who earns more or is just older. The explaining is not limited to work related information.
If it helps I'd like to share my technique to deal with a mansplainer in nerd spaces: When he gets going explaining lore that I know I know better than him I get very enthusiastic that we share this knowledge. I talk over him like I'm fellow fan just excited to talk about this with someone else. Then I flex my knowledge; I go further referencing even more obscure details in a "Of course you know what I'm talking about" way. I might gently probe with questions that are out of his depth but like I couldn't imagine he wouldn't know it; that I might even be a little disappointed he wouldn't know. If I do go demonstrably beyond him I apologize and admit I'm just a "super nerd" or a "lore junkie" and tend to go overboard with my fan joy. In my experience this leaves him less likely to try it again to avoid an awkward position of admitting he might not know something. I proved my nerd cred but as someone who's just happy to talk about nerd stuff with other nerds. He may quietly learn a lesson in assumptions while neither of us end up looking bad in front of other people. We're all friends here.
I worked in a very male dominated profession for most of my career (I'm retired now). I can't even tell you the number of times I've had to deal with this kind of condescension. The last guy who didn't do what I told him (I was the lead on the team) I fired. I stopped putting up with that shit years ago.
GAGAGAGAGAGAGA this is wonderful! PRANK! IT is terrible! I looked in the mirror and saw something UNPRETTY: my face. GAGAGAGAG! But I am happy agayn because I have TWO HOT GIRLFRIENDS and I make cool YT v*deos with them! Good evening, love and peace, dear ines
A lot of women do it too (mostly to other women but they do it to men too). This is not a trait exclusive to men. I have seen a lot of men being called mansplainers in social media and a lot of the time they are either trying to explain their point of view or correct the person but apparently, it's wrong.
My boss lectured me on "not being so intimidating because your coworkers complained".... all because I told this obnoxious, socially unaware, male coworker of mine (whose presence I have tolerated previously because we work together) to leave me alone when I came down with a fever at work and then he told the boss I'm "not nice."
"A Star is born" starting at 5:13 "My Mind works is all jumbled:" "I can sort it out" "Can you ?cause I can't." After I heard that, I threw up in my mouth. God that was awful.
I like people explain things to me. Even if it's the basics of something I already know. It helps me see if we are in the same page, or if something I asume was wrong. But, maybe it's just that I don't take it personal. If they are explaining something it doesn't mean that they think I'm stupid 😅, they are just exposing some ideas, that I can challenge or support.
Yeah, I get accused of mansplaining sometimes, but really i'm just being pedantic. Being in tech you never really know what anyone else knows so you tend to lay out the details when discussing a problem incase you're incorrect on something it can get called out and to help keep everyone on the same page. I'm a highschool drop out, but working at microsoft I had to explain how SSL browser handshakes worked to a guy who was more senior with a masters in computer science as he had no idea how the stuff worked. So at the same this whole assuming people know something they should know just because they have this or that expertise or job isn't really always a safe assumption. Doctors don't always know or can easily recall minutiae about some uncommon ailment you suffer from. Specialist aren't always up to date on concepts out of their area. You don't want to waste everyone's time explaining how credits and debits work to a CPA but this whole you can't define a less common concept during a discussion thing is a pain, and there's not really a way out of it as you're going to get labelled as something or other for constantly asking a CPA you just met if they are familiar with carrover basis and other terms etc. when discussing something while at the same time you can't trust everyone to speak up if discussing something they are unfamiliar with for cultural reasons. shrug.
Dude, that would be great. Lots of social situations there. Like when Jerri got edited as the villain while Colby was the perfect manly all-american hero of the story after treating her like trash only for the history to prove that it was the exact opposite. Or how sexist Probst was in the early seasons and it took him 20 years to notice. XD
BUT DONNA, was actually inexperienced lol she didn't even go to college. she was lucky to get that job. in the end when she gets a more importrant job and she's gained exp. josh stops explaining things. some of these examples were a bit of a stretch tbh
I was honestly gonna say this. Mansplaining is a very specific phenomenon, it’s not just a man explaining something to a woman. The internet kinda co-opted and ruined that phrase a little, to the point where I’ve seen women accused of mansplaining
Sure, but why is it that Donna was written to be so inexperienced? I think we can examine why it is that the writers chose to make the man most knowledgeable in those situations? If it was necessary for Donna to be inexperienced there could have been other female characters to teach her, or she could have been written on more equal footing as the guy? Was it really necessary for her own character/future character development to not have gone to college, or was she used as a device to highlight the man’s intelligence?
@@thehealthywriter she wasn't supposed to stick around her character was initially written to be a wing margi nal character. Due to the chemistry between her and the actor that plays Josh they *changed* the scripts and trajectory of the show. She wasn't suppose to make it past season 1. Also It's normal that she is not experienced she only has HS diploma and has no knowledge of politics, governments and administration it's actually REALISTIC that she grows through the seasons. When you start working those kind of jobs without experience it's a given you know nothing and you learn on the job. She was lucky she got the job in the first place. IRL she would have never had that chance lol The only thing I don't like about that relationship is how Josh always calls her screaming.
periods have been explained to me waxing also, to me and a group of female friends how to "cure" my mental illness with "positive thinking" by a dude who begun every sentence, regardless the topic, with "let me explain something to you..."
I understand that it's important not to talk down to people, whether it's men or women. Having said that, it is possible to misread the other person. For instance, I'm a lover of history. If I find myself having a conversation about a historical subject, I may well say a lot of things to the other person, not from a sense of intellectual superiority or arrogance, but simply because I have a thirst for historical knowledge and it activates my mind!
Absolutely. I'm a huge military history buff and also have a ton of knowledge about the Medieval era. If I see something that's inaccurate in a show or movie (and there's tons and tons of it) I tell my wife and explain WHY it's wrong. Likewise, if she sees someone that's inaccurate based on her knowledge (she knows far more about the ancient world, particularly Greek and Roman history) she'll tell me and explain why it's wrong too. I'm not mansplaining and she's not womansplaining. We're merely telling each other facts and learning from each other in the process. Yet... I imagine many feminists would claim I'm mansplaining (although I'm sure they'd never say anything bad about my wife doing the same thing) because the word has come to mean "a man explaining anything for any reason at any time."
I tend to find men that do this dont treat other men any better. You either have empathy or you don't. It seems to me people that act that stupid tend to be narcissistic with no justification for their sense of superiority. The smartest people I know tend to listen and are always open to the possibility that they're wrong. But maybe I'm wrong.
With the recent awareness of hate crime against asians, I think it's important for you guys to talk about how Asian representation plays a role. Specifically the fetishizing of Asian women considering that shooting that happened.
Sometimes (!) we should men cut some slack. My Dad tries to explain things to me all the time! Although it is obv. annoying, I think it's okay, because 1) he is just socially awkward, 2) doesn't know what else to talk about, 3) really knows his stuff, 4) never acts condescending and 5) LISTENS TO ME WHENEVER I EXPLAIN THINGS BACK. Have you made similar und experiences?
Let me mansplain why La La Land doesn’t count: they’re on a date and he’s explaining why he loves this niche thing that nobody else gets. It’s not an uncalled for explanation to a woman who already knows everything the man is telling her.
When you word it like that, that actually makes perfect sense. There's no indication that Mia knew anything about jazz prior to meeting Sebastian, and he was just explaining his passion for music to her. 🎶🎹
Totally agree. He does know more about jazz and he’s not describing jazz to lecture her, he’s just trying to make her understand why he loves it so much.
While explaining why you love something is lovely, explaining why someone else's opinion of that thing is wrong isn't. I see how that is a fine distinction, but it does matter.
I'm 20 and studying international affairs. I hate that when my family gets toghether and we talk politics, what i say is not taken seriously, even if I JUST STUDIED IT AT UNIVERSITY. It drives me crazy. Because i'm a young woman people don't take me seriously when i talk about politics. Like, 2 months ago i read something about the public sector in my country and i told my parents about it and they didn't believe me and they did everything short of calling what i said stupid, but a few weeks ago my father read it in the newspaper and suddenly it was right beacuse HE read it and HE explained it. I was furious and told them that i had already tried to explain it to them and they didn't believe me, and they refused to acknowledge what had happened. This is just a small thing. Things like this happen all the time.
This often happened to me during discussions. When a guy NEVER, literally NEVER lets me finish stating my point, but I always let him finish talking. How I deal with it? I just say "I'm not finished. Would you let me finish? I always liten when you're talking, so please stop interrupting me when I'm trying to state my point." Always silenced them up straight away. Without any but's. I think this is a habit that they've developed and no one has never stood up to them and pointed out how rude that interrupting is.
I do think Mansplaining is a thing (though many people use it in a very clumsy way) but i cringe when people use the word verbally in media .Fate Winx saga made me gag (like actualy made the sound) when bloom said "mainsplain" unironically .Because they think it´s cool because "the woke people use it" despite not being a fitting example
you don't think Mansplaining a * *THING* Think means to think , to wonder about something or to have an opinion Thing means something, anything that exists physically or abstractly
I completely agree! mansplaining is absolutely a thing but when people keep using it wrongly, it totally discredits the concept and then people don't "believe" in it anymore and it continues :((
What pisses me off is a lot of other women (especially older women) look up to men for knowledge or whatever. My husband and I are both medical professionals, and I’ve noticed that my parents, especially my mother doesn’t take my advice seriously. But when my husband gives her the same bloody advice, she acts like she’s hearing it for the first time, and like it’s a revelation.
That's frustrating
@@Duality-Mode it makes me want to bang my head on a table!
That can also be a parent thing
@@cuttugirl7629 Hahaha!
this is so true. I've also noticed how in a workplace everybody (including women) tends to ask men for advice or assistance, even if there are people of the same gender available with exactly the same qualifications and experience. like we always assume that a guy would know better. kind of sad.
How did the mansplainer die?
He fell down a well, actually
LOLLLLLLLLLLL 😂😂😂😂
I love that joke.
Lol I like you
That was too good👌🏾
Very nice hahaha
Please cover the "False Romantic Lead", the partner/fiance who merely exists as an obstacle to stop the leads from getting together, and is disposed of easily. Bill Pullman in "Sleepless in Seattle" could count!
This is a good one
and how the female version of this almost is always an 'uptight' feminine girl who's left for the laidback 'cool' girl, which only further reinforces the idea that women need to act as much like men as possible in order to be worthy of being loved (while of course remaining slim and conventionally attractive)
@@amydunnediditnow Or just as close to the male archetype, there are plenty of uptight men out there as well
Yeeeeeeeesssssss and guess which movie I am thinking about!
@@amydunnediditnow Or the female version having the same traits as the male love interest be vilified while, "well it just adds to his mystique"
How to avoid mansplaining: don’t assume you know everything and talk to people as equal.
Also, I ADORE your unscripted thoughts at the end of the video. Please do more!
One big problem. I have an iq of 135 and almost remember everything said to me. If you get into an debate with me you know i knie almost everything about that subject.
IQ and knowledge are different things.....
@@Pascaffa so you literally know it all?
Does this apply to females as well?
what if the woman is ignorant and does not want to listen?
and if the opposite happens?
that an ingreida woman explain to me something that she does not know in the least?
"womanspleaning"?
What if the man simply saw that you are confused about something and wants to give you a piece of information?
what happens is that literally feminists want to see what is between the legs to just blame there
A man from the United States... explaining what Latin American women go through in Latin America.... to me... a Latin American woman.
A feminist who sells crystals... explaining how male privilege works to a homeless man.... to him... a straight white but poor man.
Please tell me he was white! lol
@@Macheako oh you bet he was
@@martu4425 as a white guy myself.......
*knew it* lolol 😂✌️🇺🇸
Were you his maid or gardener?
The amount of times I’ve had to say “that’s exactly what I just said” In work situations is ridiculous.
Yes!!! 😤 Like we aren't speaking the same language or something
"I already said that".
@@allisondoke yes, and then when you do say “I just said yet” it’s us that looks petty for fishing for credit 😒
@@leahmarie112 Thisss. So frustrating! Last time it happened during a meeting I said: "Are you ok? Because you're literally repeating what I just said" with a face like: 🤨 This made me look I was concerned (hell no) and it definitely made the others in the meeting look at him like "yeah, actually why the hell is he doing that ? " Lol , we moved on so fast to the next topic.
I had this with jokes. When I made them people acted like I didn't say anything but when my male friend repeated the same joke everybody laughed
In my culture, before the term "mansplaining" existed, we used the term being "p'tite madamer" which can be translated to "being darlingized" because men would start their sentence with "Ma p'tite madame" (which can translate by "oh darling" or "honey") before mansplaining you.
I hate how our culture acts like they’ve just solved some great problem. By our culture, I mean internet culture.
Lol are you Canadian?
@@talitam.8414 are you Barney Stinson? lol (joking, ofcourse)
@@talitam.8414 🇨🇦🦫😉
I've never heard this expression before, but that's a very accurate term for it. I was just wondering how we could say 'mansplaining' in French... "hompliquer" just doesn't sound great.
I just looked up translations and found 'mecspliquer" et "pénispliquer" which... yeah, that works too. ^^
As a woman in computer science I don't even have to say anything more, everyone knows that techbros exist
They expect you to know NOTHING, then their fragile male ego is hurt when they realize you have actual SKILLS. Because, *gasp*, a WOMAN in a MALE dominated field who's GOOD at her work? Unbelievable
@@saraamin5494 ikr, this
Tfw they want to explain to you what Linux is without asking you anything before when you're actually working as sys admin and programmer as a side job next to computer science studies
Just this assuming you wouldn't know anything about it without any evidence to assume so
Oh and the lamest excuse - "you don't look like a programmer"
?????????
They are everywhere. They are very annoying to me as a man so I'm sure they are far worse to you. I wish there was a woman on my team because I've always found the team dynamic better when it is more diverse.
When I was trying to talk to ppl about being a scientist in the pharmaceutical industry so many men told me to choose something easy so I can manage my home life once I get married. I was so fucking shocked.
Hello, fellow Nerd. What part? I am in Web Development. I have men who are not in tech try to explain to me that I do not know what I am talking about.
I was mansplained about corsets by one of those manly men-types. He said that they're barbaric and I said they can actually be quite comfortable if they're fitted properly. He said that's not right and I don't know what I'm talking about. I then tell him I've worn corsets. He said I must not have worn them properly because they're supposed to be uncomfortable. I said that I was fitted by someone who designs and makes corsets and told him about how they were worn and used historically from what I learned from a UA-camr who is a fashion historian. He said I need to stop spreading false information because I don't know what I'm talking about and what I wore was probably not a real corset. I then gave up.
I had a similar experience, let me tell you
It’s the most frustrating shit ever.
"you are too stupid to insult"
I've had this conversation too!
@@syriaramenchinese9593 Agreed unfortunately I live with one its miserable
I must admire his persistence. "Let me liberate you, woman, goddamit" :D
A man tried to explain what I 'REALLY MEANT' to me at a medical conference where I was presenting my own work.
Damn🤦♀️Sending love to all of you in medical fields, I prefer female doctors and medical professionals (my experiences with them were much better than with their male counterparts) , make me feel less worried and more confortable. 💙
how obnoxious
Ew
@A Porter NaMe OnE tHInG... Are you gonna copy this comment everywhere? Just go away bro
@A Porter I hope this is sarcasm
someone literally told me that I wasn’t Asian 😭✋🏻 just because im not korean it doesn’t mean I’m not Asian 😭😩
Tell them Gal Gadot is Asian and see their reaction.
Whut
@@jessicavictoriacarrillo7254 cant make this shit up.. then i tried to explain it to him and he just said “no you’re not asian look at your eyes” 😀
@@huma1533 that sounds like a guy who hasn’t passed fourth grade geography 🤦🏻♀️
Are you turkish? Your name looks turkish.
i think The Queen's Gambit is different from the other examples mentioned. Beth actively seeks help from her friends, because she knows there is structure/strategy to chess and she can't win on impulse alone. the boys know she is a genius and a better player than they are, but she seeks their support and encouragement. and in the end, it is a combination of her genius instinct and their advice which helps her become a champion.
Yep, and the guys turn up at specific points when she needs help; one just after the death of her mother when it is just getting out of bed every morning and doing something, and the other one when she needs help with her addictions. If you are competing in a heavily male dominated industry/ scene like that, most of your allies will be male, because most people you will meet are male, as will most of your enemies be. She also has female allies remember; and the moral of the ending is teamwork. The Russians are helping each other, something which did happen in real life, and it is legitimate to mount a team defense rather than an individual defense in that sort of situation, you are the figurehead of a bigger team.
Agreed. I think the series subverts a lot of tropes and expectations, including the one you mention. Makes the whole experience more satisfying.
@@kahkah1986 I agree with you on this. I work in a male-dominated profession (theater tech-scenic artist) and have often looked to my male colleagues for help. The problems I've had are with men who either ignored my instructions when I was in charge (this happened to me in Hollywood A LOT) or men who chose to tell me how to choose colors or how to paint what I already knew how to paint. My favorite was the guy who was a fine artist who told me what I did wasn't actually art. I stood him in front of a drop painting of a waterfall (18 feet high) and told him to try it. He conceded.
One thing you learn in a male-dominated profession is that if you don't speak up for yourself, they won't respect you and they will walk all over you.
Especially at the end where her opponents get extensive help, so in fact she just gets on their level by having her own support group.
Even if in the end she didn't use any of the discussed strategies but uses the advantage of having received different perspectives to go for a different strategy.
@Nile Yeah, we may love seeing all these men help Beth along the way but damn how not realistic it is. Still though I'll take it, it's nice to have sth hopeful, even unrealistic at times.
“But a funny thing happens when you tell a man that you don't want to get married: they don't believe you. They think you're lying to yourself or to them or you're trying to trick them in some way and you end up being made to feel worse for just telling the truth.”
― Jami Attenberg, All Grown Up
Precisely! Women have opinions of their own, and they don't need to be convinced that their views are inferior compared to mens'. 😤
@@trinaq I agree
pretty much the same happens when telling a man that you as a woman don't want to have kids, funny how they assume uterus = wanting children
It’s complicated. Women hide their intentions all the time. I remember being turned down for a date back when I was in community college, only for that same girl to become upset when I took her friend out on a date. According to girl #1, I didn’t try hard enough to win her over.
@@nicolasleroux5302 What you are describing is not the same thing as what they are talking about.
As a woman with several nerdy interests (manga, anime, tabletop rpg, video games, comics) I can say that I had a lot of frustrating experiences with this. I think the worst part honestly, is when you feel that you might be the oversensitive one, it might all be in your head, because your other friends might not see it as mansplaining at all, just someone trying to be helpful. If someone actually listens to you and considers yours opinions valid, it makes a lot of difference. Just an advice if you have a female friend saying someone is mainsplaining to her: listen to her, do not dismiss what she says just because your experiences with the person in question might be different. It does not mean you have to believe everything at face value, just know it takes some courage to actually bring up conversations like these.
As a fellow woman nerd, I feel that :) Like I've witnessed guys get over the shock that I know about comics/anime (and in some cases know more than them). Thankfully, now all my guy friends are fully aware of my nerdiness and we can just fan rant together lol.
@@amandak.5967 fan rant is the most beautiful thing in the world, like exploring if a character is into some weird fetish because you have a theory and debating it with friends. I think mansplaining is so prevalent in nerd circles because we are use to explaining fandoms to normies or even other nerds that not necessarily share that particular nerdy interested, but on the other hand being condescending is unexcusable and misogyny is common also so maybe half and half?
@@Puerco-Potter Yep, but I also think part of the problem is the image that people have of certain fandom or communities. Like in the case of video games, the image of a very white, straight, male demographic ignores the fact that women, poc and lgbt were always a part of the gaming community and among designers and creators. So when you express your opinion, sometimes people treat you like someone from outside criticizing things that people inside the group know more about. It's almost like for some people you have to "prove" you are a real gamer, otaku, etc.
I love tablepot rpg and for some time now I'm also a GM. My friends are amazing and usually I don't deal with such situations but one guy once (he's not my player we just talked on one discord server) started explaining the basics of roll20 to me. My friends are living in different cities so we have to play online. I told him like seven times that I know how roll20 work because I've been using it for months and he was still trying to send me videos with tips for begginers 🙄
@@allamariss2951 Yesss, this! I also DM and most of the players are fine. I just had the bad luck of having a problem player during my first campaign. He kept criticizing my choices, put his own music during the battles, calculated the damage (it was pokemon tabletop united, lots of operations just to know how much damage someone took) when I kept asking him to stop. It was so frustrating. The thing is, we played Vampire the masquerade with another DM (a guy) before and he was fine.
I’m an architect with 10 years experience, can’t count the amount of times men with less experience than me have tried to explain something I already knew.
Same!
I'm an architecture student, hope things change by the time I graduate (pretty doubtful), but luckily so far working in teams only with women has been great (in the one that there was a boy too, we fell out and was definitely the worst I had). Anyways respect to my female professors and all female architects like you and female students, you are tge ones I get strength from and look up to. 💙
in some contexts it's almost like gaslighting though - telling us how to feel or how we SHOULD feel, or how we SHOULD think i.e. like them
OMG same. And I was more qualified than most of my male collegues. I was the ONLY female architect, and was usually treated as if i was the secretary, ask me to fetch coffee, photocopy, till new clients ACTUALLY ASKED ME IF I KNEW HOW TO USE A PHOTOCOPIER, and actually surprised 1. because yes i knew how to use a damn printer, but also always surprised to find out I WAS an achitect in the firm (usually after telling me what a "GOOD JOB" i did by PHOTOCOPYING A DAMN WORD DOC.
That's probably because you're a woman.
i think is even worse with young woman and girls. they always assume we are uneducated in every topic, even in woman’s issues. i was already mansplained about periods like i don’t have plenty of them since i was 12
a guy seriously mansplained to you about periods? Please share this story (if you feel comfortable doing so). I bet it was hysterical.
@@tracyroweauthor lol wasn’t that amazing, it was my uncle (who works on health but still) explain to me that i shouldn’t be so “sensitive” about my periods, explaining how it was normal and women were dramatic about it
@@ceciliatoledo837 That's such bullshit. Especially bad if he works in health. There are so many women who have really painful periods, who throw up or can't stand upright, or have other issues.
And really bad period pains can be a sign of something else which should be taken seriously, not dismissed.
And even when the pain isn't "that bad", you should still be allowed to complain, periods really suck.
Same! I (23) recently got explained what a used tampon is supposed to look like, as if I don't see plenty of them every month (the context of that conversation was weird already, but that's another story)
being told what a hymen is..... it's like a seal on a tin can apparently
My favorite was when my male boss explained my period cramps to me.
OMG 😅
wth hahaha....why is the boss talking about period cramps with an employee..Thats so unprofessional
Eric Dinesh I tried to call off work because my cramps were so painful. He said I needed a doctors note otherwise I’d get a write up and possible termination. So I would go into work on my periods. He was dismissive of the pain.
My heavy period and cramps ended up being ovarian cysts which I needed surgery for. Got a doctors note for that, of course. He was a pretty sexist boss.
@@lh9591 ohhhh fuck....I hope you got the surgery and you are doing much better now... And you didn't end up working for him for long...
Eric Dinesh I got the surgery and my periods are no longer two weeks long and so heavy I need a tampon and an overnight pad on at all times.
I thankfully no longer work there, but I feel bad for his daughter and any other female employees of his.
I have a theory. We as human all like to explain. I sure remember I liked to explain stuff like mensplainer when I was younger. But as a girl, I was told many times to not do that because that makes me sound pushy or mean or too bossy. Then I find it hard to talk about anything without thinking about what other people think of me, then I eventually just learnt to shut up.
Not saying explaining is good behaviour, but it is alarming that such behaviour is only called out when you are women, men get away with it.
Hermione Granger from the first Harry Potter movie comes to mind
Uhm why is explaining bad behaviour? Explaining something keeps you in check if you actually understood something. If you can explain it and someone else learns from your explanation you understand it sufficiently and you have contributed to general knowledge share, which is one of the pillars of human knowledge production. It is also as you noticed fun. On top of that while explaining you can get new ideas and others can point out holes in your knowledge and add knowledge of their own. It's all about how you explain and talk about technical stuff that matters. In short: stop being pretentious, stop thinking you know everything, stop thinking anyone else knows nothing and explaining sth/ sharing and exchanging knowledge is actually a highly positive thing.
Why do we need to make this as complicated and honestly screwed up as possible?
explaining and mansplaining are two different things. We're all at some point explaining something (kind of like I am here) for varying reasons. Mansplaining takes it to a whole different level. It's based on the notion that a man knows more about a given subject than a woman, even when she may be an expert on the subject. Mansplaining is usually delivered in a condescending tone.
@@tracyroweauthor I agree.
Explaining is often used as a way for a person who is learning something new and is excited about it, to reinforce these new ideas. You can observe this especially in children, but in anyone with passion for a subject. Men are more obsessive than women, and thus are more likely to explain things in this way. It isn't automatically condescending.
OMG, yes. When I was at school, I've been doing aikido for three years already, when that guy came. After he was doing it for a while he was still really bad and it was physically painful to do with him techniques (it should not be painful the way he did if you are doing everything right. And the trainer also told it to him). Unfortunately for me he had a crush on me and tried to stand in a pair every time he could chase me((( But the worst was the fact, that one day he decided for some reason that he is a true master and started teaching me how to aikido despite the fact that he was still awful in it. I was so mad!!! But also to shy and polite to tell him to stop. I thought I would upset him. 🤦♀️
I think that men can do such things so easily to women, because women are told so often to be "good girls" and think that something terrible will happen if somebody will call them "rude" and "impolite".
P.S. And I also had a higher kyu (degree) than he had, but he didn't care at all. 🤷♀️
I hate that we as women aren't taught to stand up to this kind of bullshit
Ugh! This "you have to be a good girl" thing has totally f*cked us all. I'm working on it, but sometimes I feel so guilty about standing up for myself...
I'm done. I'm at a point and saying "You know what? Fuck it. You don't like my argument? Then stop fucking talking."
Lol, he was probably trying to impress you. Men sometimes try to sound smart to impress women. But in cases like this it just creates the opposite impression :D
Let me explain to you how men are . This is not mansplaining - this is explaining what could be going on from a man's perspective
1) Men like to impress girls they have a crush on. Just check every nature movie - it matters for the female that male are better than them in some aspect. Pure evolution. Also, current data shows women like to pick partners above them - a level up. You will see men marrying down the economic ladder without complain. Not a woman without trying to move up at least after marriage - push the guy to earn more etc. These are evolutionary behaviours. Nothing wrong.
Summary - He was trying to impress you when he was teaching you. While for you, it was all about how much you know and how much he knows - A man is dumb enough to ignore all this in love. At least the young ones. While the world goes mad, learn to appreciate this quality in a man - if you think it is annoying - you can try telling the guy that you are better than him. Or show him. Usually men will still stick arround after they are impressed. But I understand - men in crush can be a pain in the A. Nothing to do with mansplaining. The hormones.
2) Offcourse - in professional environment if men get unfair advantage - do one thing that anyone must - Speak up - don't sit quiet. Cribbing with these liberal junkies in some remote internet corner will not help. Not one bit.
You can take all this as mansplaining or an explanation about men from a man himself or you can start womansplaining to me about men. Your choice.
The Queen’s Gambit doesn’t count. They help her (specially in the end) inspired by the russians who help each other. It’s not about them being men, it’s about teamwork. And helping her win. The fact that they are male is just obvious. Chess, specially in those years, was a men dominated sport. So obviously she met a lot more of men who could help her than women.
The other moments they help her it’s bc they DO have more knowledge of the game. She was used to win by just instinct and she had to develop to win the best.
Totally agreed, my thoughts exactly
What about Harry? The take even specifically showed the scenes with Harry
I thought it was funny in its complexity. While I think some of the men definitely approached her from a place or attitude of mansplaining, the overall message to me ended up being one of community and mutual support. They mansplained to her, she beat them, they conceded her superior knowledge and skill, until they ultimately came together as a team. I think mansplaining is often deployed to put a woman "in her place," while the men in The Queen's Gambit set out with that intent only to rethink upon witnessing her potential. They then challenged her and contributed as they were able. The men who signed her up for her first tournament were more traditional mansplainers. She had to become open to their input, and they had to acknowledge her skill. That said, the book was written in 1983 by a man, so I find it somewhat unsurprising to find a lot of mansplaining in the story.
this is one of the things about mansplianing. Do we just not talk to women?
What got me was her "downfall" like we as women look so cool and sexy when we are drunk and depressed hahaha hilarious, it looks more like a men's fantasy. The book, series direction, production and script is done by all men btw.
happens to me all the time. i teach yoga and despite having practiced for over 30 years commonly have male beginners explain yoga stuff to me. thanks guys!! women from class never do this. and i mean never.
Don't teach yoga if you can't handle a bit of client feedback. They're the ones paying you, remember.
@@MrBen51309 +1000
That sounds really frustrating!! Also frustrating that you've got two jackoffs responding to your clearly genuine story over there
@@innocuoushappenstance6259 why is this woman owed sympathy?
@@christopherbrown5409 because it's an annoying experience, only men explain yoga to her even though she is more experienced for thirty years. Obviously some women will sympathize and relate to her. Did you not read the comment?
Hi this actually allowed me to reflect on myself and see how i do this on a daily basis and hopefully allows me to realize and stop in the future
Thats really cool!
You don't have to stop. You enjoy it, do it. Don't change just to satisfy a woman.
And that's the kind of answer we want!
@@davidfofah6649 but women like polite well-mannered men. as everyone do.
@@philippinevlogsandgamingpl7671 what in his comment make you believe he cares what women like? I am not pro mansplaining or this guy, but really, what is your point with that? That men should do things that women like instead of having real morals?
Oh gosh, that happens a loooot at my work, I'm basically in a team full of guys and I'm the only girl. Literally today, Our boss was asking about what we could do to be more organized with a work platform that we use, and I said that we could change X things, and then one of the guys said EXACTLY the same I said and everyone was like "good work team! we will take into consideration the things you both said" and I'm like damnn, he didn't say anything new. I mean, I don't really care if I take the credit for something as long as we can deliver the job BUT when something like this happens sooo often it kinda upsets you...
I am a man, and the same thing has happened to me many times in my life.
@@chuckm1961 okAaAaAay....??????? It happens A LOT more to women. A LOT MORE. like good for you, it happened a few times but I HIGHLY doubt you experience it to the same degree women do. Like 🙄🤚
@@sallysmith8678Yes, ma'am. I have not experienced it as much as women. Thank you for defining my reality for me. Yes, ma'am. Sorry, ma'am.
@@chuckm1961 Dude, you've missed the point entirely by failing to include anything that shows you have even a vague sense of empathy for literally all womankind. Basically, what exactly have you added to this conversation with your observation that "This has happened to me, too"? Yeah, so? Does that not make you feel empathetic to this universally cultural problem, y'know, the one that's actually being dissected and pondered and looked at from a variety of angles in the video you're commenting on? What was the point of your comment, please, I would be very interested to know. Acting like a hurt little boy with all the sarky "Yes ma'am, sorry ma'am" stuff merely highlights that you are being deliberately tone deaf to other people's problems and challenges. Seriously, what's the point of watching videos like this if you aren't willing to open up your mind a crack to allow other people's viewpoints, experiences and opinions in in the first place? This is an "All Lives Matter" type response, and I for one am getting sick of it now... grow up and stop your whining.
@@ajmerriman6055 but women can “whine”. Got it.
But in La La Land....Sebastian was the expert on jazz? And he didn't automatically assume she didn't know anything about it, he asked what she meant by she didn't like jazz, and then shared something he was passionate about. It is stifling, repressive, and divisive to insinuate that a man can't express his dreams and something he cares deeply about, especially when we are trying to counteract toxic masculinity where men are compelled to suppress their emotions.
That's really the only example that really puzzled me. We as women should strive to be confident enough in ourselves that our first reaction isn't defensiveness. It's completely justified because we have experienced real discrimination and sexism, but I believe we will be more effective if we can transcend that mentality and discern legitimate threats on which we can focus our efforts combating.
He could've just asked her why, got her response, and respect her perspective. I'm an art nerd who loves to travel. I don't coerce anyone I'm with to love those things, unless they express interest. That's why I still have friends.
@@selalewis9189 People aren’t gonna like art unless you convince them to. Maybe you should be more comfortable sharing your passions. If you explain why something is good, then you may convert them. Speaking passionately is not coercion.
@@Ergoperidot did she ask him to? I only saw the beginning of the movie because I thought it was crap. If she asked him to, that's great. If she clearly wasn't interested and didn't ask him and he continually kept trying to force her to come around to his way of thinking, then that's why this clip was included.
And if people don't like art, they don't like art. I don't like sports and you can argue until you're blue in the face, I still won't like sports. Before you argue with me, I'm an artist. I work in theater. You can't force people to like art if they don't like art.
She said she hated jazz. He should have respected her boundary instead of pushing his passion onto her.
Yes, I’ve noticed the definition just keeps broadening and broadening. Now it applies to men having conversations and giving their opinions.
I'm kinda offended by the fact that they used that scene from la la land. Dude he was basically talking about his passion, his love for jazz, I mean is not like Mia actually was interested in jazz or an expert. It was the same the other way around when Mia was explaining him what acting meant to her
Exactly!
Yeah, I felt the same way about the scene of The Davinci Code. I mean, the main character Robert Langdon is a university professor in symbology in history and it's because of his expertise that he get pulled into the story in the first place. In every novel featuring Langdon, he's accompanied by a competent female professional who compliments Langdon's shortcomings in order to solve the plot. He's in fact quite a gent both in the novels as in the movie adaptations.
Yeah I love their videos and these topics need to be talked about but some of the examples they pick don't help or even hurt their point when you actually give them context
Yes guys, I mean, I'm a woman in an engineering field and I know how it feels when someone mansplain something to me, but this scene feels sooo different. I don't think we should listen Seb's words from the mouth of a men but from the mouth of an artist, I remember that when I watched lalaland the first time I was amazed by Seb's perspective, and for me that talk they were having felt like a really intimate moment where Seb was able to fully talked about his passion to Mia without been mocked like everyone else did to him. A man can actually make you realize something you did not noticed before, non regarding gender we can always learn from each other
I think this is how you create problems. Finding it, where there is none
It's all about what kind of lenses you look at the world...
I have two suggestions.
1. The Teen Idol Trope- How they breakout, very clean and saccharine then try to raunch up their persona for a more mature career path.
2. The Cool Teacher- The teacher we all wish we had or have who inspires us to be better versions of ourselves with unorthodox methods.
The Teen Idol is especially interesting to me. The sheer amount of damage the rampant sexualisation, lack of privacy, and everyone treating their romantic lives as acceptable "celebrity news" is horrifying as it is fascinating, from a Psychology major's perspective.
The Teen Idol Trope is a very good one, because is always hard to accept they grow up and we're always judging them based no their adolescent de image.
Would the teacher from mean girls count as part of the cool teacher trope?
@@mcchilde2903 I always thought Sharon Norbury was awesome. When the Burn Book was published, she helped end the chaos by teaching the girls to "express (their) anger in a healthy way."
She also called out Regina for her manipulative and backstabbing tatics. There are many theories about Regina George having the anatomy of a dictator.
Her classmates gave her the power.
Ms Norbury taught them to form together and communicate with non violent acts and take Regina's power away.
Even after Cady takes the blame, she still sees goodness in her students and forgives her.
The teacher trope in general, they are treated like idols or dweebs and the profession is treated like a back up if all others failed,
I've witnessed a cis man explaining periods to cis women. He knew all about periods because he once dated a woman.
...... 😂😂
@@r.7530I've heard of a female sex ed teacher explaining that bois can't pee when hard. She knew all about this because she was once a boi.
@@duckfacemcgee3271 that's not true
@@sinfulSeif i said heard of, never said was a part of her class. I was just explaining women can be ignorant and wrong to.
Reminds me of that post about the dude who warned other men not to get "too close" to women. He did, once, and he could "feel" her periods. And that's just not worthwhile.
He was talking about empathy. That's it. Or they were so close that she allowed him to play Freaky Friday in her, temporarily. Maybe that's it. 🤷🏻♀️
And using the fact that he was CLOSE to a woman, once, to mansplain everything woman-related. Including saying that "periods are just your body telling you to get pregnant," giving advice on birth control, and ending it with the classic: "It's for your own good."
Please, look it up. Screenies are on Google images. It's so unbelievable. Look up: "trust me, I was emotionally close with a woman, in fact close enough to feel her goddamn periods." Cheesus. 🤦🏻♀️
The responses to it are also 👌🏻.
I live in France, and apparently the French word for 'mansplaining' is 'mecsplication', which I can't believe is an even better play on words than the English 😂
Can u explain it I don’t know French lol
Well mec is a more informal way of saying man, probably the best translation would be dude. So in French it’s something more like dudesplaining
@@candelacottis208 I would add that « he explained it to me » in French is « il m’explique » which sound similar to mecsplique or the verb version of mecspliquation
@@Abigaelle23 oh I hadn’t thought of that xD
Mecsplication, that's so dopeee
I hope you'll one day talk about the "Not like other girls" phrase. So many people don't realize how insulting it is, when they use it as a compliment. Also many girls are accused for seeing themselves as "Not like other girls" when they are just being self expressive.
I think they actually did a video on something similar. If I can find it I'll link it here for you.
@@tracyroweauthor Thanks, I'd like to see that!
@@bebbization It’s the “Cool Girl” trope
I want something on "not like other men" too. We shame women for being edgy way too much,whereas guys who want to be edgy hardly get any criticism. Why are we so obsessed with criticising edgy culture but only for women? You see so many youtubers and those ridiculous tiktokers repeating the same stuff about edgy girls we've all heard millions of times. When will be talk about wannabe edgy boys?
@@mcchilde2903 We have a similar concept in Latin America about guys who claim not to be like other guys, except they act as feminists and allies in order to get on women's good side as well as seem politically correct when, in fact, many of them actually use that opportunity to prey on women, mansplain feminism to them, or simply be sexist in any way but hey! You can't call them out, they're feminists too, you silly!
We call this type of guy "aliadín (a play on the words "aliado" and "Aladín" to make it sound like a name), and also just straight up "aliado".
The spark in their eyes when they think they've accomplished their mission 😂 👀
Yes! Mock men! Laugh at men! Assume you know the hearts and minds of men! Yay!
Or they’re doing you a favor by explaining to someone what you meant. I had it handled, bud. Take a seat.
@@GabbasaurusRex Yes, I understand how it works. If a man, assume all worst possible motives.
If a woman, give every benefit of the doubt and assume all best possible motives.
Hahahaha someone’s defensive
@@GabbasaurusRex gee wonder why
But but... Seb was explaining something Mia didnt like or knew, she was literally asking him things about the jazz she knew versus the jazz he was showing her. It was more about telling her why he loved it rather than explaining facts ignoring wht she knew about the subject :(
Yeah but he took her not liking jazz like she just didn't understand it properly, but people don't have to like stuff
He was being an utter jerkoff about it though (and that seems to be his setting for most of the show).
@Luise Herpich Also having a "know-all manner" isnt necessarily mansplaining either. As i understand mansplaining specifically means men having a "know-all manner" towards women, because they are women and you assume that because of that they dont know. If we all could be precise about such terms and would stop throwing them around aimlessly it would be very nice. It wouldn't lead to so much controversy, confusion and agitation. In short: it would produce better results assuming you actually want to better society and not just stir it up to chaos.
@@leahstone9938 She didn’t understand it properly, but honestly he didn’t either because jazz is certainly not dying as he says it is lol. There are too many subgenres within jazz for someone to generalize it as background music.
@Luise Herpich Thank you for voicing it out...I had the same feeling when I was watching the video. I agree that some of the clips are just to emphasize the mansplaining Irl..but it needs to have a background context else anything a man opens his mouth to explain to a women is termed as mansplaining which is not right. If i know that someone is an expert at certain thing and I am talking over them just coz they are women, then its mansplaining... I would consider it just rude and ignorant irrespective of the gender of the other person.
A variation of this I get at work is when I'm dealing with a technical issue for a customer and maybe I'm sleuthing out the solution in real time and a customer will try to get me to defer to a male coworker. I love LOVE being able to say, well I trained him so if he knows it, I know it.
Mansplaining has always existed but I think it's so prevalent now because of how social media operates. You can literally see people trying to "win" internet points in real life
It really doesn’t exist at all mate
My problem with manspaining is that it is often confused with comments coming from a know-it-all who would say and behave the same in front of a male counterpart.
There are also womansplaining as well which often happens when women interrupt others
“No Uterus, No Opinion.”
Truer words were never spoken.
Yes, my absolute favourite Rachel quote, and one that I like to quote from time to time! 👌😂
@@trinaq I had to write a paper on Abortion to a Female Professor once. In my head, I’m thinking: “Is this me mansplaining?”
@@PokhrajRoy. No, because they asked you to write it.
I'd like to know the opinion of a doctor about uteruses :v. Regardless if they are a man or a woman doctor 😅
@@AhavaMath Point.
The most egregious mansplaining I've ever encountered was when a man proceeded to explain to me how a vacuum aspiration abortion is performed directly after I had just told him I'd been present during 11 of them.
Well, the problem is that we don't know when people manplain. They can over explain because they lack confidence, because of your background because you are American British but techically Assuming that someone is mansplaning Even when you just assume, can make people think that they are over stressed and stuff. We are never sure of sexism. But I looked It up, and technically, a man can mansplain to another man and think of superiority for no reasons. And a woman can explain band stuff to another vwoman because she is a woman so she is mansplaning without being a man. So Gender does not matter. Also mansplaning us like man's reading. Some do it to relax and some ti take more space than women. also if a minority who has confidence issue over explain to a non minority are they minority explaing or mansplaning. And also, I am not saying never to assume mansplaning I just say that if someone is mansplaning are there sexist.
@@jojoyayathereal Men don't know when they are mansplaining because they're so used to it, people don't question their daily habits. But believe me, the person they are doing it TO knows, as well as sexism in general. No, we often can be sure of sexism, because men don't talk to each other in the same way. For instance, men will challenge the authority of women who have established their credentials and are in a better position of knowing than they are, but they still don't feel respect for their intelligence, because of their gender. As in the case of the man attempting to explain to me how vaccuum aspirtation abortions work after I'd just said I'd been present for 11. He wasn't "overexplaining", because he wasn't asked for an explanation and all the information available to him made it clear that I was not in need of information. He wasn't nervous, he was arrogant and condescending, sure that his thoughts would invalidate my lived experience if only I listened to him, meanwhile, he was not listening to me, because he was sure that I wasn't worthy of being taken seriously and there's nothing I'd know that could possibly enlighten him.
Anyone who uses mansplaining hates men
Oh boy, can't wait for the comments on this one lol
@BoJack Horseman lmao i am guessing you are a 16 yo who tries to be edgy and funny but fails miserably and who calls someone incel for all the wrong reasons without using that pea brain of yours. But go ahead i am sure after this reply you are going to call me an incel too
@@dusk6634 geez, they didn't even have to wait an hour for you to turn up butthurt.
@@availanila that's annoying.
@BoJack Horseman Not everyone who disagrees with the video is an incel.
This thread better grow.
That moment when you are a biology student in university and your mom is a biologyst with a doctored, but your uncle that once read a resume about the origin of species try to explain to bouth of you how evolution works
(Sorry for any bad spelling, english is not my first language)
Appear to be even dumber and destroy him on basics next holiday. He would basically be psychologically destroyed
Hi fellow biologist👋
Are you sure it happened because you are a woman? Otherwise, you've accused your uncle of sexism for no reason.
@@inmydelorean6025 I think I know my uncle, dear
@@sophiacozzo8964 So your uncle is a sexist and ur mom didn't cut ties. :l I rather think he was ignorant and u are a sexist trying to generalize billions of people because u had a bad experience with a person of that group. I could do the same because my mother is an alcoholic. I could then pretend all women are alcoholics and by your definition, it is logical.
My reaction to mansplaining is mostly: "What makes you think I didn't know that before?" or something like that, depending on the situation and the topic. I started doing that, when men began to tell me things about my subject in university when they themselves were studying something completely different. This question (in the best case) makes them think and reflect their behaviour.
How do they react when you ask them that??
@@Choshako So far I can only talk about one friend. He did this really often and he answers, that he wasn't sure if I knew so to make sure, I understand what he is explaining in the following parts (communication via voice messages), he just adds it. I told him that it would be nice if he simply asked beforehand, if I knew xy, cause otherwise it's offending to me. He tries to do better now and I can see the improvement. I'll let you know if I get the chance to ask these questions more frequently!
Anyone who uses mansplaining hates men
There are also womansplaining as well which often happens when women interrupt others
I work in wine service. During an employee holiday party, we had bottles of sparkling wine and I went to open one. The wine maker and one of the hospitality hosts immediately came over to me and started coaching me about how to open it.
After I did open, I set down the bottle on the table, and said, "You guys know that I've been in this business for five years, right?"
Edit: just to clarify, in fairness to the guys in question, sparkling wine/champagne bottles do take a little more finesse to open that still wine bottles, and we only worked with them for events at that particular establishment. It wasnt completely implausible to consider that I might not have known how--just misguided to assume that I didn't.
Imo, 90% of mansplaining cases feature an insecure woman getting upset at a man for trying to help. For some reason, these types of women believe we’re thinking “mhuahaha, look at this helpless little woman who requires masculine assistance” instead of “huh, I should probably make myself useful and help out.” And when that’s not the case, we’re probably just trying get positive attention from the opposite sex in general.
It’s like the opposite of Occam’s Razor with these women. They automatically assume malice instead of genuine concern or attention seeking.
@@nicolasleroux5302 She worked there, what made them think she wouldn't know how to open a wine bottle? If that's a strategy to get the opposite sex's attention, then it's a really bad one.
@@nicolasleroux5302 No, that's the thing--when we notice this kind of condescension, it tends to be overwhelming clear to us that the person doing the condescending sees their own actions as benevolent.
@@nicolasleroux5302 in how many more comments I'll see your whining? You had bad relationship(s) with woman/women, we get it, jeesh
@@lydiafayre9806 yes! they feel like they’re like being amazing to teach you something you never asked for lol
Men do it to partly to gain validation from women. It's like desperately saying "I may not be pretty, but I think I am smart. Please love me! Please tell me I am good for something! "
Explaining things about themselves to someone is actually a pretty good way of manipulation, it's pretty easy once you learn to Cold read... I am guilty of using it to speed up the process of people opening up to me, I make general descriptions about what I see and they start filling the blanks and pow now you are intimate and can talk about your personal traumas. In the past I used to seduce, the "I know you more than yourself" trope, but I realized it was not okay and as you say, a way to appear smart without actually doing anything...
@@Puerco-Potter it's sounds like you are doing a good job of working on yourself. I think I too sometimes force intimacy by announcing my trauma to explain my behavior.
@@smartass0124 "they should make figure everything out yourself" I think you should go sleep off your hangover, it'd do your grammar wonders
Well, a lot of men out there go through their whole lives without receiving ANY kind words or encouragement of any sort, so if they're looking for some sort of comfort and validation then I can't say I blame them.
@@KarlUrbahn a lot of the time, the only validation men and boys get is compliments to their intelligence. Even unearned ones.
My father tried to mansplain my hair to me like I didn't live with it growing out of my head
damm he really thought
Maybe you should express yourself more respectful about your father
@@Ryan-pg1tw people can criticize their parents how they choose
I am a father of four and I have spent most of my time telling them about everything I know, have experienced and ideas and concepts that arise in situations. But... as they grow older, I do get a lot of "I know that, Dad." So, I am learning to reel my information back a bit... even at the expense of their education. It will be easier when they move out, lol.
what if one day you'll be a single mom then you're trying to explain to your son about things then he said "I know it already, mom". what are your thoughts about it especially that you're trying to be a good parent?
As someone who is female presenting and with a wide variety of passions & interests I will tell you that I def get a lot of pushback from men if I even attempt to talk about something I know about. If I try to explain anything to them especially if it’s something they don’t know about they throw a temper tantrum. I personally enjoy having conversations that include the exchange of ideas without competition. That’s the part that men seem to be incapable of. Most of my convos with men usually feel like a forced competition or debate when none is required. It’s exhausting.
100%. For me first I get absolutely furious, then exhausted when I realize that you can't really win with people like that.
I’m a tomboy, so if guys want to compete with me they will issue their provocation often enough, and will sooo lose every time... I don’t shy away from adopting the masculine norm in response. Though maybe one day the equal will step forth. This would have to be someone who knows how to listen for a change. Listening is considered feminine yet it is the source of my own strength, the reason I can best the mansplainers, ‘coz you get this deeper source of insight.
I hate when someone explains something obvious to me, especially because I'm into horror movies. "It's not real, you know. All fake." No shit I'm not five. I've been watching these films my whole life you just watched Halloween twice and are apparently an expert.
@@Taushathetech Yeah. Whenever I tell them I know horror movies aren't real they look at me weirdly for a second then they go on to begin to talk about something or other. Usually they talk about how it's a shame so and so actress or so and so movie didn't have more naked women.
Honestly my mom always says this to me, but it's because she's trying to convince herself not to be scared.
Wait, horror movies aren't real?
Next thing you'll tell me, professional wrestling isn't real, either.
@@NJGuy1973 Isn't it?
Wait they were telling you what happens in the movie isn’t real? Like killing people? I should hope not, that film would be very illegal and probably hard to get hold of.
I would love a “The Other Woman” trope and modern deconstructions of it like in the show “Why Women Kill”
When I came out to my male friend he tried to explain to me what bisexuality is and how I wouldn't identify as bi anymore if I properly understood the definition. The same thing happened when I told a different male friend about how I don't plan on giving birth to children he assumed I was scared of pregnancy and childbirth proceeded to explain about pregnancy complications.
This all reminded me of Boy Meets World when Stuart keeps cutting Topanga off during his trial against Cory.
@Me We he doesn’t even let Topanga finish her thought
I hated ‘The Ugly Truth’. I love Gerard Butler but no one asked for his opinion in that movie.
I hated that movie as well!!
I actually liked this movie! I totally didn't notice this mansplaining thing till now! yes, it totally ruins the experience 😂
I work in construction. I get man splained about everything
I feel for you! I don't work in construction but have a great deal of DIY experience. Every trip to the hardware store is an effort to not make eye-contact with ANYONE so I don't have to explain or justify my purchases.
@@maggierobertson2962 although, some of my coworkers do ask me. They don’t just straight up explain it
@@maggierobertson2962 Is it so? In Germany I have to chase someone who can explain what and how to do stuff. I get never mansplained but only the information I ask for. Now I feel lucky not being mansplained in hardware stores.
It isn't mansplaining when you don't know anything. They are telling you how to do your job because you don't know how to put two rat fucks into your work. You can't even properly construct a word. Its mansplaining, not man splaining.
That’s because they want the job done right!
The scene from Friends in which Ross is DEFENDING evolution is misplaced here. Phoebe was intentionally trolling him and in the process used some of the most spurious and uneducated arguments possible. Ross' honesty as a scientist is then weaponized against him when he admits that 'science' doesn't claim 100% knowledge. This is a destructive episode in which the ACTUAL expert is mocked for explaining things to a person who exhibits a ridiculously awful grasp on the topic. One example of when Friends was actively bad for society.
Hey, girls, I just think I should tell y'all this is called the comment section and is used to leave impressions about the video, you might not know that but is also great for ironic meta-commentary.
Facts
But how am I supposed to know what my impression is without consulting my husband? :/
@@Pee5Ma Ask your father or brother.
My mom is a doctor, my brother and I are medical students, but that doesn´t stop our dad from constantly trying to explain something medicine-related to us.
Also thank you for pointing out that C.J. census nonsense. The fact that she didn´t know ANYTHING about census (or that she wouldn´t be able to study it by herself) was straight up dumb. I am not so sold on Donna-Josh one since Donna usually asked about things she didn´t quite understand and I always thought that the way Josh explained it was part of their mutual teasing. But there´s probably something to it.
I remember starting out in my first job, I eventually worked as a civil service type job, and the best advice I was given when trying to get information out of people was always play a bit dumb. Ask stupid questions. Get people to fill in the space for you. Let your sources make assumptions about you if it works in your favor. At the very least, it lets the source do much of the heavy lifting for you in simplifying stuff for your reports. Obvs, this is not the behavior for your actual office, just 'outsiders'. Is that what is maybe happening here?
the point with TWW was that it was almost always the female characters who were dewy and wide-eyed and needec a man to explain simple processes to them. Sorkin did this as a means of exposition, but you rarely saw the male characters in the expository position.
That being said, TWW is still the best show ever
I agreed with the CJ part. That did not make sense that she didn’t understand it. But to be fair; there are a lot of policies and logistical points within their day to day, that it is fair she might not have full knowledge of, and would lean on her co-workers for further information. As for Donna; she was very junior. She never finished college and could not decide on a major; so it makes TOTAL sense that Josh would explain things.
And there were times that the men where often the dumb ones in a situation. Even as simple as Sam not knowing anything about the White House, and Leo’s daughter calling him on it
@@ScarlettAlexandraS Yes, and it is a skill in civil service type work (I think that is what TWW was about - I probably should watch it ;0) to be able to explain very technical, expert level stuff to people who are total non-experts in the field. The main mistake I made as a newbie was to skip that step, but especially dealing with politicians etc. who will often have no previous experience of what the expert is talking about, it is actually quite important to prep the expert with quite simple questions so they don't blow it and come out too arcane. It is quite hard to strike a balance between realistic scenario vs plot exposition though in those type of shows.
Great outro at the end there! It's fun hearing you talk about which clips and themes resonated with you individually. Hope to see more of that in the future!
Ok, so from the Merriam-Webster definition of mansplaining that's used: "It's what occurs when a man talks condescendingly to someone (especially a woman) about something he has incomplete knowledge of, with the mistaken assumption that he knows more about it than the person he's talking to does."
That in mind, can someone explain to me why the following examples in the video fit this example (honestly asking)?:
La La Land: Why isn't it true that he's just trying to share the passion he has for jazz with this girl he's into, and isn't it a natural thing to try to get the people you like to like the things you like by explaining their merits?
Ross and Phoebe: Why isn't Ross just being condescending but not mansplaining? The definition says mansplaining involves talking about "something he has incomplete knowledge of" but Ross is actually a paleontologist, so how does the definition apply here? Isn't it important to distinguish between being pedantic or condescending and mansplaining (thereby being sexist)?
Queen's Gambit: Chess in the series is extremely male-dominated, so naturally most of Beth's interactions are with men. The men seem to understand that they are worse players than Beth, but come to help her at times when she's not in a good place and recognize that the Russians are better because they work together. I understood their help as the teamwork and support that Beth needs to become the best player she can be. How are they acting with the "mistaken assumption that [they] know more than [Beth]?"
When Harry Met Sally: Where's the line between banter and condescension / mansplaining?
West Wing: I think the CJ examples are definitely egregious because it doesn't make sense for someone of her position to not know about things like the Census, but why are Donna and Josh also instances of mansplaining when Josh actually canonically does have a lot more experience in the matters that he teaches Donna about and when Donna many times actually asks him to explain these things? I feel like there's sexism in the portrayals of the secretaries in the West Wing, but that's another story I guess.
I think it's important to accurately define examples of mansplaining, and I want to know what about these examples constitutes mansplaining for my future social interactions. As always, I'm just looking to be a better person tomorrow than I am today, so if I've misunderstood anything I welcome any explanations as to why.
I was honestly wondering the exact same thing
There's nothing from these examples that constitute mansplaining. This video starts with an accurate premise; but then becomes weakened by a number of poor examples.
It’s because she didn’t ask, at all. He just uses it as an excuse to rant about how she’s wrong and doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Like damn, buddy! I’m allowed not to like jazz, it doesn’t mean I’m uneducated about it. Why you are you so pressed? I guess an easier example to understand would be a woman saying she doesn’t like Star Wars, and then show a montage of a nerd ranting to her about it, even though Star Wars is a huge and simple series most people understand (sometimes it helps taking Ryan Reynolds out of the equation).
Anyways, within the context of the movie it’s fine because she’s clearly into it, but they were talking about how movies often reframe mansplaining to be cute and romantic, when in reality it’s not so clear cut, so it’s a good example here. Like, it wouldn’t be mansplaining within the movie because it’s romantic and she clearly was into it and wanted to hear about his passion, but if we were outside movie magic, I’m not sure a dude ranting at me for how wrong I am would be something I’d like, especially since knowing more info doesn’t somehow mean Ill like it more.
Removed from the context of “proving me wrong,” however, and the ranting becomes cute though. I don’t want to give off the impression that men expressing their interests is mansplaining and something women don’t want, because that would be cruel and untrue. Share your passions, dudes out there! Just make sure you aren’t belittling other people’s opinions or intelligence in the process. Some belittling is fine if it’s in the context of mutual teasing and flirting also, because that’s just how sarcastic teasing works.
I think the incomplete knowledge part needs to be taken out. Like, someone can be an expert and still mansplain, as illustrated with the Star Wars example. He’s the expert on Star Wars, sure, but it doesn’t mean that she needed the explanation or that he would have given the explanation to say a male love interest. A lot of times dudes mansplain because they think women can’t have opinions different from them, they’re simply too dumb/ignorant on their own to have the right opinion, and that can happen regardless of whether he’s an expert or not. Should there be a new term for this??
I was thinking the same.
Also for Star Wars, Han is confronting Leia about a truth that she obviously knows, but denies it. So it is something that has to be addressed by him, to be acknowledged by her. So since it was necessary to say, I don't see how it would be mansplaining.
I feel like the video went a bit overboard with what constitutes mansplaining. They even contradicted the very same chart they were using as reference saying "If you said no to any of these questions you are definitely mansplaining", while when you follow the chart it can absolutely conclude that you are not mansplaining or just probably be mansplaining.
So I find the video really oversimplifies the issue and paints a very black and white view.
That being said, I also find the chart to be a bit oversimplified.
It doesn't differentiate about explaining (mansplaining) something to a person and simply expresing ones opinion on a topic. The key difference being, that when you explain (mansplain) something you believe what you are saying is the only, factually right thing, while when you are telling someone about your opinion you are not trying to invalidate their own view, but just sharing your view on the matter, to offer the person a new perspective.
I also think it is not fair to conclude, that when you explain or tell someone about something without them asking, you are probably mansplaining. In conversations you shouldn't have to ask to be allowed to express your opinion or to explain something you know. Also nobody does that. Just because someone didn't explicitly ask you to tell you about something doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to talk about it. If the person really doesn't wanna hear what you are saying, then you might be annoying or even condescending, but I wouldn't call it mansplaining. The person should just tell or signal you their disinterest in that case.
And even if the person you are talking to is an expert on the topic and you are not, I think it is ok to talk about it, as long you are just expressing your personal opinion (in a respectful way of course). Because being an expert on a topic doesn't necessarily mean your opinion about it is right. There are doctors who say diseases should be treated with homeoppathic "medicine", there are scientists who deny climate change, there are people who studied law that say it would be right to shoot immigrants at the border. Ultimately everything comes down to personal interpretations and opinions. I believe EVERYBODY should ALWAYS consider that their opinion is wrong and be open to other perspectives, even if you ultimately reject them.
So all in all I believe this (as so many topics) is far more nuanced than people think and should not be oversimplified at all.
@@allyli1718 I talked about this in my previous comment but I don't think telling someone about your perspective should be so easily be villainised.
Trying to get people to see things in a new light is a very good thing I think, as long as it is done respectfully and with the knowledge that the own pespective is just that, a perspective of several different ones.
Of course people are allowed to not like Jazz or Star Wars or whatever. That doesn't mean though, that you shouldn't be open about new perspectives through more information about such things. I think one should always be open minded, wich doesn't necessarily mean that you have to agree with the other person at the end, but you should at least give him a chance to sway your opinion I think.
I would love to see a video on the toxic friend trope
As a man in tech, I've called out the rampant arrogance of men in this field. I'm grateful for this video because it's caused me to reflect on my own actions and how I need to change.
Honestly, good on you!
As a software engineer, I've encountered some huge egos from men and women alike. It's more about the field than anything.
@@MrBen51309 Yeah, no. We’re talking about sex at the moment. Not the field as a whole.
I follow a lot of female comic book creators on twt and it's almost comedic how this happens everyday like dude they wrote the book, they created the characters stop telling them their "headcannons" are not what the creator intended the story to be!
When Thor was explaining his world and all that, it was quite cool. Simple, straightforward, to the point, and not at all trying to feed his glory. No condescendingness.
I say that, and I thought that was nice. Even Natalie’s character seemed to take it quite well, conflictless.
And (if I’m remembering it right) wasn’t she also interested in what he was saying, so like he wasn’t talking over her on a topic she knew?
That was a written dialog and not an actual conversation... In actual conversation you're bound to get into conflicts of ideas among other things... I don't get you guys...
Funny enough, George Bernard Shaw (the man who wrote 'Pygmalion') really hated the ending of my fair lady because they changed the ending from the original play (Eliza doesn't end up with Higgins) which undermined the message of the play
like the new style with back and forth convo at the end
I love to see men pretending they don't know what we mean.
"Oh, so, if a woman is wrong, we can't correct her?"
Boy, if that's how you choose to understand it, then good for you.
Precisely, they should at least not be so cocky and condescending about it, as though the woman knows absolutely nothing! 🙄
@BoJack Horseman Watching someone with a Rick & Morty-tier username use the term “rightoid” while criticizing the cognitive abilities of other people is the most Reddit-level thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It’s as if someone stabbed you with a giant syringe and sucked all of the self-awareness out of you.
@BoJack Horseman Wow. How are you so blind to the fact that you’re a “le reddit army” loser spewing dead memes like “smooth-brained” while simultaneously acting like you’re smarter than anyone? It’s perfectly fine to like your Adult Swim cartoons and criticize rightist policies, but when you do these things WHILE mocking the intelligence of others, it makes you look completely ridiculous.
@BoJack Horseman I honestly think that you are wrong. In my opinion mainsplain term was too often used for agitation and used unprecisely (in this video as well). If it was corretly defined - a know it all attitude of men towards women because only because they are women - and also used only in such a way it wouldnt stir up so much backlash of men feeling attacked but not knowing what they have done wrong - probably because they actually didnt do something wrong. At least not something warranting an accusation of sexism.
"And there are many scientific studies proving that rightoids have very weak cognitive abilities." I doubt that there are papers showing that IQ is lower in people leaning right than in people leaning left with a solid methodology. There is a shit ton of stupidity anywhere. Some people by circumstance fall into camp A and the others in B - not because one or the other is smarter than the other but because both are stupid (and with stupid i dont mean low IQ).
This was a great video. BUT, the Ross and Phoebe example is bad. I suggest you google the article on Ross and the downfall of critical thinking. He is not mansplaining he is defending critical thinking. The Ross and Rachel uterus example is a much better example.
I do have an issue with the Ross & Phoebe scenes being used here.
Because regardless of gender, it is never wrong to try and educate a creationist (or a flat-earther, for that matter). Also Ross is a paleonthologist, so has specific expertise on that subject.
Also the Rachel scene too. Granted, he doesn't have a uterus, but he already has a child with his previous ex wife, so he "knows" more about what she's going through even though he doesn't know about the experience of it.
@@Mike90317 the fact you had to put quotation marks about the word "know" shows you that Ross does not in fact know what pregnancy is like. Rachel knew she felt painful contractions, and Ross definitely knows nothing about what she is feeling.
@@Mike90317 ALL women are diferent so even if Ross have "experience" with pregnancy he isn't feeling the pain that Rachel is going through, my aunt fell almost no pain while my mom describes the experience as a painful bloody movie, BOTH of them are valid.
Emily & Minerva, I apologize my comment came across as invalidating individual experiences. I thought that Ross providing some input was to help Rachel so she feels better and calm. 🤷🏻♂️
@@Mike90317 Sorry if I came across as rude, I have never had a baby but I sometimes suffer of horrible pain when I have my period and I've been told that It wasn't that serius even tho It made me feel miserable, sometimes saying something isn't that bad, even coming from a place of love, can feel like you aint been taken seriously.
It's a little odd to me to conflate IRL mansplaining to some of these pop culture examples. In a lot of these examples from movies and TV the "mansplaining" is clearly just a way for the writers to explain something to the audience through the character's dialogue. This is a common device used in TV and movies regardless of the characters' gender.
For example: Christina Hendricks's Joan does this numerous times to Elizabeth Moss's Peggy in the first season of Mad Men.
yeah, I was thinking this the whole time. They are acting like movies and TV are actual real life lol.
Anyone who uses mansplaining hates men
After years of bad experience, I realized that the best way to make the man realize that he is talking s*** is to simply walk out of the scene when he is in the middle of his nonsense, saying "I am a bit busy now, I will listen to you later on." I find that empowering, liberating (because I don't care about his banter) and in a way, calming (because I get easily angered by such nonsense, better to leave)
Ok but hear this: not every man who explains something to a woman is mansplaining. Eg. Sebastian is just really passionate about jazz and he's just telling Mia about why he finds it cool
Yes totally! Thanks for saying it
Yeah and I think the whole idea of "playing dumb" and "not being intimidating" to attract a man is bolstered by these portrayals of male superiority as romantic when it's absolutely not. I want to be able to converse as equals. Wouldn't you?!
My aunt’s husband, who I refuse to call my uncle, is the classic mansplainer and I hate spending time with him.
The night before I took a trip to Japan, the two of them called me to wish me luck. Despite me having studied the language and culture for years now, he thinks he knows everything about Japan and Japanese because he lived there for a year and picked up a phrase or two.
He “tested” me, asking what the Japanese word for hello was. Basic level 1 question aside, there are multiple ways of saying hello depending on the time of day and your familiarity with the person, so I mentioned that but gave the most well known: konnichiwa.
He said I was wrong, gave a completely wrong answer (yoroshiku), and to add insult to injury my aunt then said HE should’ve given ME a list of phrases to study beforehand.
so ur aunt was womansplaining? You don't need to be a sexist and say only men do it because both sexes do it. You literally showed that in ur comment.
We ignore it most of the time, but a man will never pass a chance to let you know that he knows any kind of information 🤣
But why is mansplaining a bad thing? I mean, i dont understand what it is. Here in the Netherlands its not a thing, ive never ever heard someone saying that or read online about it on a dutch site or sub. It just means a man explaining something to a woman? Or can it also be a Woman to a Man? Is Mansplaining not just "being a smart ass
"? Then its kinda sexist to make the man seem the bad guy with that term. Or is womansplaining also a thing? Because literally anyone can be a smart ass
, woman too, right? I dont hhope i come over mean, i geniunely dont understand how its a male specific thing?
@@bas_ee So the video goes into a lot of depth about this, but here's a summary: Just explaining something isn't a problem. If you've been asked for your information or advice, and you're not being condescending, it's fine. The problem is that, at least in the US and Canada, and I've seen other people give examples from the UK and France and a variety of other places, there's a pervasive trend of men explaining things to women in a setting or in a way that they probably wouldn't with a man. As an example, explaining something to a coworker or a colleague at a professional event that you should be able to infer that colleague already knows, often without giving her a moment to explain that she already knows that and/or doesn't need assistance. It's the sort of thing that could be an innocent mistake, but that doesn't mean it's not harmful and frustrating, because you've also given everyone else around the vague impression that she couldn't have done that on her own.
Oftentimes it's less clearly harmful but just very annoying, such as being a cis woman or other afab person being told by a cis man how hymens work, or how painful periods are, or any number of other things that he definitely knows less about than the person he's talking to. And in theory that could be ok if he approached the conversation like "hey, I heard this about periods, does that sound right to you?" or something like that, but usually when someone's mansplaining there's not an ounce of humility or awareness that maybe the other person has something to say that's worth listening to.
I assume there isn't a similar "womansplaining" trend because women aren't really socially encouraged to speak with confident authority in the same way men are. Everyone fails sometimes to speak in a way that's both confident and respects the people you're talking with, but men are more likely to fail by becoming overconfident and talking over others, and women are more likely to fail by losing confident and deferring too much. They even have an example in the video, of a line in Pretty Woman being perceived as impressive when a guy says it, but self-important and kind of condescending when a woman says it.
Also, at least based on my understanding of these terms, it's not "being a smart ass". Someone generally knows when they're being a smart ass, but I have been in conversations with well-meaning guys where they spend 10 minutes talking about something I already understand and they won't let me get a word in edge-wise because they're just so excited that they know something about a topic I seem to be interested in, and eventually they'll say something like "I read an article that went into more detail on this, I'll see if I can find it and send it to you", and I'll respond with exactly the article they got all this from and exactly where and when it was published and just watch their face fall as they realize the thing I'd been trying to say this whole time was "yes, I know, I read that same article, wasn't it good?"
Edit: sorry, didn't mean to write you a novel, just trying to give helpful examples =)
loved the additional little bit with you too talking it adds an extra personality :)
My older male cousin tried to explain how periods work for me and how it’s not actually that painful.
As long as you can still doing the dishes.
I'm halfway through the video and I just want to acknowledge my current ambivalent feeling at this point. Yes, there are men who are way too confident and cartoonishly prone to "mansplain". In fact, they may not just do it to women, men seem to have been conditioned to show off whatever they know or may not know.
HOWEVER, I can't help but notice that I personally very much like "mansplainers" and even being "mansplained to". There is both something instinctually attractive and rationally pleasant about someone who is forthcoming and willing to engage in interesting conversation with you, even if I know to some extent that they do it to impress. As someone who often do feel like the ignorant and shy young woman, I would play the part of interested listener and challenger of their ideas, and rarely feel dumbed down or looked down upon.
I have even found very close friends and important mentors who like to "explain things to me". Do women do similar things? Possibly some older women but much fewer.
Also, in some of the scenes I don't really feel much repulsion against the characters behaviour at all, e.g. the La La Land one seems fine, and the two chess players in the Queen's Gambit are really quite respectful and helpful to the main girl who definitely needed them as just friends, and neither of them were presumptuous enough to think that they were better than her.
I wonder if I'm alone in these feelings?
No your not.
You’re not alone. However my contention with this topic is a tad different. If someone explains something to me that I understand differently, I just respond with my understanding and we have this thing called a discussion 🤷🏻♀️
I had the exact same thoughts. I don't personally feel Gosling was mansplaining because he is an expert in jazz as a jazz pianist. He was just really giving his opinion, which he is completely entitled to give. Same with Queen's Gambit, they had expertise related to chess that she lacked. I hope if I have blindspots that someone would be willing to help me. I have been mansplained to before, but sharing of opinions, or explaining their viewpoint, just doesn't seem to be in the same category for me.
I'm pretty sure that you are not referring to mansplaining when saying that you find it attractive , there's a big difference between having meaningful conversations with someone with more experience or knowledge in a particular subject than when that person (men in this case) interrupts , is patronizing or looks down on you when you already know certain things , its not attractive when someone treats you like a child.
Yes, the video doesn’t use very good examples overall (not to mention, I usually see pop culture references differently from real life). You are a good listener, and that’s why you are equally able to challenge people’s ideas. I can relate to that, I find it very exciting too because there is an agreement to share knowledge - but when real life “mansplaining” happens it’s totally unattractive, because you are not treated as a listener, an equal, but as a child. It’s something creepy, like “you believe I am a child but you’re attracted to me in a way you want to impress me?” Ew.
As far as the evolution example from Friends in concerned:
1. Did Ross knew more about it than Phoebe?
Yes. He is a paleontologist and has a PhD.
2. Did Phoebe ask him to explain it?
Arguably so, in as much that she started the conversation by denying evolution, so she should at least have expected a respons.
3. Does Ross explain it in the same way as he would explain it to a man?
No evidence of the contrary. In fact, I think he would have dumbed it down a bit if he was talking to, say, Joey.
Yeah, while I adore this chanel, and I think mansplaining is something real that should be explored, this episode was a miss for me, as so many of the examples were based on false equations, such as this.
@@SatiricSatyr Yeah they have a history of misandry
I live on a narrowboat (6 years as a nomadic live aboard, so I move a lot), and it’s shocking the amount of times randomly passing men explain boating to me, usually while I’m at a lock. I called out a couple of men recently and it went well. On one occasion I was struggling with a leaky lock that wouldn’t open right away, was just about to partially open a paddle on the other side which would have levelled the water and fixed the issue, but a man came to just try shove the door open. The beauty of his face going from cocky to shocked was gratifying. He started to explain the lock to me, but I cut him off and asked what experience he had with boating. He started to say he’d been out twice on his Uncles boat, but he actually trailed off at the end of the sentence when he caught on why Id asked. In fairness to him, I explained the problem with the lock and what I planned to do, and he did help me again with the lock gate when I’d made the adjustments, and I thanked him and we parted on good terms. On another occasion a random man was mansplaining/dictating to any people coming through an east London lock how to work a lock. I asked him if he was a boater- he wasn’t! He then tried to mumble something about just helping people, but he had literally no lock or boat knowledge behind watching other people. He didn’t even have the tool to open the lock! So he physically couldn’t work a lock even if he knew how. OH, and another man who, when I didn’t go into a lock and move to the left as neatly as I could have due to the current from a weir, said ‘practice makes perfect’, when his boat had bow thrusters, and he admitted he couldn’t manoeuvre without them!! I should do a video on it
So glad one of your first examples was Scully. How many time did that woman deal with this? A lot haha
"cut the crap mulder"
Isn't Scully represent the scepticism in the viewer or something?
Day 18 requesting crazy cat lady trope 🐱❤
they already did it, search for "The Office: Angela, a guide to cat people"
Yeah, they covered that there pretty much.
They already did it and completely fucked it up.
@@nosoynadaoriginal People keep saying that but I don't think that's good enough. Putting so much focus on one character takes away from being able to give it a proper deep dive.
Why is there no crazy dog man trope?
The misconception is for it to be mansplaining the listener needs to be female. I can tell you males to this to other males all the time. You will also see males who are older or higher up in their profession doing this to males more junior or younger. It's actually really interesting to watch.
It is more about arrogance and unhealthy amount of confidence. I am a woman and I definitely do that a lot to both genders. It is not exclusively men trait 🤷♀️
Plus women do it to other women too. My mom and girls I knew from school did this to me a lot growing up. I wish there was a more gender neutral term for the phrase, because it implies that only men are guilty of this. Men do it too, but so do women.
I believe what you are talking about is EXPLAINING because senior and higher ranking people have a duty to mentor and teach.
@@trentonwelsh6859 no you didn't read my message wrong. This isn't exclusive to someone who is a work colleague. It could be someone who earns more or is just older. The explaining is not limited to work related information.
Well thats just "know it all". The term "mainsplaining" carries a sexism accusation with it.
If it helps I'd like to share my technique to deal with a mansplainer in nerd spaces: When he gets going explaining lore that I know I know better than him I get very enthusiastic that we share this knowledge. I talk over him like I'm fellow fan just excited to talk about this with someone else. Then I flex my knowledge; I go further referencing even more obscure details in a "Of course you know what I'm talking about" way. I might gently probe with questions that are out of his depth but like I couldn't imagine he wouldn't know it; that I might even be a little disappointed he wouldn't know. If I do go demonstrably beyond him I apologize and admit I'm just a "super nerd" or a "lore junkie" and tend to go overboard with my fan joy.
In my experience this leaves him less likely to try it again to avoid an awkward position of admitting he might not know something. I proved my nerd cred but as someone who's just happy to talk about nerd stuff with other nerds. He may quietly learn a lesson in assumptions while neither of us end up looking bad in front of other people. We're all friends here.
Anyone who uses mansplaining hates men
I worked in a very male dominated profession for most of my career (I'm retired now). I can't even tell you the number of times I've had to deal with this kind of condescension. The last guy who didn't do what I told him (I was the lead on the team) I fired. I stopped putting up with that shit years ago.
ngl, I'd love to see some remakes of the classics with the women leaving.
Please make a video about the “spill the tea” meme.
GAGAGAGAGAGAGA this is wonderful! PRANK! IT is terrible! I looked in the mirror and saw something UNPRETTY: my face. GAGAGAGAG! But I am happy agayn because I have TWO HOT GIRLFRIENDS and I make cool YT v*deos with them! Good evening, love and peace, dear ines
Yes, please, that would be a perfect video topic for this channel! 😍
And the Bad Bitch and Cottagecore
Spill the tea just means talking about gossip...
Mansplaining isn't a real feminist issue. "Some" men are like that towards everyone, irrespective of their gender, and also "Some" women do the same.
A lot of women do it too (mostly to other women but they do it to men too). This is not a trait exclusive to men. I have seen a lot of men being called mansplainers in social media and a lot of the time they are either trying to explain their point of view or correct the person but apparently, it's wrong.
How do they know what correct is??
My boss lectured me on "not being so intimidating because your coworkers complained".... all because I told this obnoxious, socially unaware, male coworker of mine (whose presence I have tolerated previously because we work together) to leave me alone when I came down with a fever at work and then he told the boss I'm "not nice."
Lol Maybe you should've clarified that you had a fever at work.
@@Duality-Mode How do you know she didn't?
@@flowerfleur8105 She didn't mentioned it.
'Nothing is ever my fault!'
*every woman in history*
@@MrBen51309 every men in history
"A Star is born" starting at 5:13 "My Mind works is all jumbled:" "I can sort it out" "Can you ?cause I can't." After I heard that, I threw up in my mouth. God that was awful.
I like people explain things to me. Even if it's the basics of something I already know. It helps me see if we are in the same page, or if something I asume was wrong. But, maybe it's just that I don't take it personal. If they are explaining something it doesn't mean that they think I'm stupid 😅, they are just exposing some ideas, that I can challenge or support.
Do you ask for them to explain? Do they explain in a noncondesending way? Because if so, that's not mansplaining.
Yeah, I get accused of mansplaining sometimes, but really i'm just being pedantic. Being in tech you never really know what anyone else knows so you tend to lay out the details when discussing a problem incase you're incorrect on something it can get called out and to help keep everyone on the same page.
I'm a highschool drop out, but working at microsoft I had to explain how SSL browser handshakes worked to a guy who was more senior with a masters in computer science as he had no idea how the stuff worked. So at the same this whole assuming people know something they should know just because they have this or that expertise or job isn't really always a safe assumption. Doctors don't always know or can easily recall minutiae about some uncommon ailment you suffer from. Specialist aren't always up to date on concepts out of their area. You don't want to waste everyone's time explaining how credits and debits work to a CPA but this whole you can't define a less common concept during a discussion thing is a pain, and there's not really a way out of it as you're going to get labelled as something or other for constantly asking a CPA you just met if they are familiar with carrover basis and other terms etc. when discussing something while at the same time you can't trust everyone to speak up if discussing something they are unfamiliar with for cultural reasons.
shrug.
You guys should do a video on reality TV shows like Survivor or Big Brother.
Dude, that would be great. Lots of social situations there. Like when Jerri got edited as the villain while Colby was the perfect manly all-american hero of the story after treating her like trash only for the history to prove that it was the exact opposite. Or how sexist Probst was in the early seasons and it took him 20 years to notice. XD
We have several versions of Big Brother here in India. Even I would love an analysis.
BUT DONNA, was actually inexperienced lol she didn't even go to college. she was lucky to get that job. in the end when she gets a more importrant job and she's gained exp. josh stops explaining things.
some of these examples were a bit of a stretch tbh
I was honestly gonna say this. Mansplaining is a very specific phenomenon, it’s not just a man explaining something to a woman. The internet kinda co-opted and ruined that phrase a little, to the point where I’ve seen women accused of mansplaining
Sure, but why is it that Donna was written to be so inexperienced? I think we can examine why it is that the writers chose to make the man most knowledgeable in those situations? If it was necessary for Donna to be inexperienced there could have been other female characters to teach her, or she could have been written on more equal footing as the guy? Was it really necessary for her own character/future character development to not have gone to college, or was she used as a device to highlight the man’s intelligence?
@@thehealthywriter she wasn't supposed to stick around her character was initially written to be a wing margi nal character. Due to the chemistry between her and the actor that plays Josh they *changed* the scripts and trajectory of the show. She wasn't suppose to make it past season 1.
Also It's normal that she is not experienced she only has HS diploma and has no knowledge of politics, governments and administration it's actually REALISTIC that she grows through the seasons. When you start working those kind of jobs without experience it's a given you know nothing and you learn on the job. She was lucky she got the job in the first place. IRL she would have never had that chance lol
The only thing I don't like about that relationship is how Josh always calls her screaming.
periods have been explained to me
waxing also, to me and a group of female friends
how to "cure" my mental illness with "positive thinking" by a dude who begun every sentence, regardless the topic, with "let me explain something to you..."
OH NO THIS IS MY DAD HE DOES THE SAME THING HELPPPP
I understand that it's important not to talk down to people, whether it's men or women. Having said that, it is possible to misread the other person. For instance, I'm a lover of history. If I find myself having a conversation about a historical subject, I may well say a lot of things to the other person, not from a sense of intellectual superiority or arrogance, but simply because I have a thirst for historical knowledge and it activates my mind!
Absolutely. I'm a huge military history buff and also have a ton of knowledge about the Medieval era. If I see something that's inaccurate in a show or movie (and there's tons and tons of it) I tell my wife and explain WHY it's wrong. Likewise, if she sees someone that's inaccurate based on her knowledge (she knows far more about the ancient world, particularly Greek and Roman history) she'll tell me and explain why it's wrong too. I'm not mansplaining and she's not womansplaining. We're merely telling each other facts and learning from each other in the process.
Yet... I imagine many feminists would claim I'm mansplaining (although I'm sure they'd never say anything bad about my wife doing the same thing) because the word has come to mean "a man explaining anything for any reason at any time."
This channel never fails me
It does from time to time like their stupid Harry Potter video
Y’all are spot on with each one of your video analyses!!! Love you guys!! 🤩🤩
Hahahahahaha oh your serious yikes.
I tend to find men that do this dont treat other men any better. You either have empathy or you don't. It seems to me people that act that stupid tend to be narcissistic with no justification for their sense of superiority. The smartest people I know tend to listen and are always open to the possibility that they're wrong. But maybe I'm wrong.
It depends to be honest because I can see narcissist act like this to everyone no matter the gender but who knows
I have often seen this condensingness to be geared towards women but people who are ass to everyone do exist but mansplaning is known for first one
Nailed it 🎯
Man mansplaining.
Woman womansplaining.
That's my parents when fighting each other.
With the recent awareness of hate crime against asians, I think it's important for you guys to talk about how Asian representation plays a role. Specifically the fetishizing of Asian women considering that shooting that happened.
Sometimes (!) we should men cut some slack. My Dad tries to explain things to me all the time! Although it is obv. annoying, I think it's okay, because
1) he is just socially awkward,
2) doesn't know what else to talk about,
3) really knows his stuff,
4) never acts condescending and
5) LISTENS TO ME WHENEVER I EXPLAIN THINGS BACK.
Have you made similar und experiences?
loved that conversation tacked on to the end there! would love to see more of that!
Let me mansplain why La La Land doesn’t count: they’re on a date and he’s explaining why he loves this niche thing that nobody else gets. It’s not an uncalled for explanation to a woman who already knows everything the man is telling her.
When you word it like that, that actually makes perfect sense. There's no indication that Mia knew anything about jazz prior to meeting Sebastian, and he was just explaining his passion for music to her. 🎶🎹
Yah , she literally knew nothing of Jazz , and it was like his passion
Totally agree. He does know more about jazz and he’s not describing jazz to lecture her, he’s just trying to make her understand why he loves it so much.
While explaining why you love something is lovely, explaining why someone else's opinion of that thing is wrong isn't. I see how that is a fine distinction, but it does matter.
there are so many examples in this which aren't.. it's annoying and quite frankly sexist - yes you can be sexist against men shocker.
I'm 20 and studying international affairs. I hate that when my family gets toghether and we talk politics, what i say is not taken seriously, even if I JUST STUDIED IT AT UNIVERSITY. It drives me crazy. Because i'm a young woman people don't take me seriously when i talk about politics. Like, 2 months ago i read something about the public sector in my country and i told my parents about it and they didn't believe me and they did everything short of calling what i said stupid, but a few weeks ago my father read it in the newspaper and suddenly it was right beacuse HE read it and HE explained it. I was furious and told them that i had already tried to explain it to them and they didn't believe me, and they refused to acknowledge what had happened. This is just a small thing. Things like this happen all the time.
This often happened to me during discussions. When a guy NEVER, literally NEVER lets me finish stating my point, but I always let him finish talking. How I deal with it? I just say "I'm not finished. Would you let me finish? I always liten when you're talking, so please stop interrupting me when I'm trying to state my point." Always silenced them up straight away. Without any but's. I think this is a habit that they've developed and no one has never stood up to them and pointed out how rude that interrupting is.
I do think Mansplaining is a thing (though many people use it in a very clumsy way) but i cringe when people use the word verbally in media .Fate Winx saga made me gag (like actualy made the sound) when bloom said "mainsplain" unironically .Because they think it´s cool because "the woke people use it" despite not being a fitting example
you don't think Mansplaining a * *THING*
Think means to think , to wonder about something or to have an opinion
Thing means something, anything that exists physically or abstractly
I completely agree! mansplaining is absolutely a thing but when people keep using it wrongly, it totally discredits the concept and then people don't "believe" in it anymore and it continues :((
Yah I hated it the way they used it, I mean he was just relying to show her the school because she was new, and she goes all ‘mansplaining’ 😒