I’m not a therapist, but I’ve been trying to talk about how I believe many adults are in arrested development for years; especially within the trans movement right now. I’ve been kicked out of friend groups and my comments get blocked. I’ll be shocked if this one posts because of my usage of “arrested development”…thank you for talking about this.
Certainly, Facebook is very slanted to all things Feminism. Including, in particular, trans activism. Even more so, now that Trump must be defeated. (Not defending either side of the political spectrum; just reporting the truth as I view it).
@@TheQuixoticRambler I will argue that the trans movement is anti-feminist. And please stop saying "the truth as I see it." That's the delusion that allows this garbage in the first place. Learn the difference between truth and opinion and stop using these gen z re-definitions.
Now how to get your teens to listen to this as in therapy they are just affirmed and nothing else is looked at .. at least where I live .. mine showed zero signed until the boom of bio females into males during covid not even a tomboy.. now just has spent 4 years depressed .. violent .. abusive... mentally unstable.. and in the high school over half the kids are trans and it's mostly bio females and everyone is constantly having mental health issues. Many are on blockers and hormones and still unhappy
@@Sillybillyilly my kids know that stuff is all baloney. It's the reality they're growing up in, and that's what they have to deal with on a daily basis.
This is why I turned my back on nerd culture. When I was a kid, you didn't want to be a nerd. You hid that you liked things outside the norm. Once I had a science teacher, make fun of me because I wrote on a "about me" paper that I liked Batman and was trying to figure out how a xerox machine worked. Yes. A science teacher thought that my interest in xerox machines made me a loser. A science teacher. Now, nerd cultures are about how many things people can consume. It's childish! And you can't just like it. You have to obsessed over it and make it your identity. And you have to argue if someone has a theory different than you. And then it got to a comic book can't just be a comic book, but it had to have some kind of social commentary. And representation. It's very childish.
Great conversation. Thank you for these great insights into motivations, trans-specific narcissism, failure to launch, competencies, misdirected creativity, and fantasy v. reality. And how abuse and neglect ensue, when novelty results in dead end relationships. Some hard truths in here, unpicking the dynamics in current dating circles, and how low self esteem leads people to accept the breadcrumbs of affection from neglectful romantic partners, and how this is amplified by transgenderism.
as someone who taught adolescents for 15 years and quit teaching because of the pretty extreme shift in parenting over the course of those 15 years, the parental obsession with comfort above all else is also part of why kids avoid so hard now. i had serious birth trauma for the first twelve days of my life that led to anxiety issues, high sensitivity which has made me pathologically avoidant for most of my life but my parents put me in uncomforable situations regularly so now as an adult i can function regularly in the adult world. my father was pretty adamant about not medicalizing either me or my brother because he was a paramedic and more knowledgeable about the medical system than most parents. and i'm also in my 40s so medicalization wasn't as big of a problem in my childhood. he always said 'i don't want you living in my house forever. go out and do adult things. it's time to grow up.' and these days i am so glad he did that even though at the time i thought it was mean.
It's also basic truth of spiritual development, at least according to most religions. We need to struggle, we need to learn to overcome things, that's how we grow. It's like with a physical body - you need some resistance for your muscles to grow, otherwise they'd get weak.
I relate a lot to her. I just never transitioned. One Halloween I dressed as a nerdy bowtie look, I think trying out what I felt if I dressed like a man/boy. Earlier that year I got a pixie haircut. And I went to the mall to just walk around. When I went to the bathroom, a little girl asked her mom why was there a boy at the bathroom. I felt so ashamed to be causing others such discomfort. I never did it again. I just don't have what it takes to be that selfish and narcissistic to want to put others through something so awkward and feeling unsafe in a space where women should feel safe. With time, I found someone to love who loved me back, I am happily married. I shudder to think what could have happened if I grew up nowadays, I would have been medicalized.
Goodness, I’m only a small fraction into this video and can relate so much, not just because I am a detransitioned woman, but because she hits on so many salient (and novel) common points in such a short amount of time.
Wow. You guys completely nailed what I have also observed is the true reason transition appeals to young people today. The part about hating the "dating rules" so you just opt out of them, and how if you had had a single positive relationship with a male, you probably wouldn't have transitioned, and how puberty installs motivation in ourselves, AH such good points! You guys ended the gender debate right here imo. Please continue talking about this! ❤❤❤
Speaking of the 80's/90's - remember the show Clarissa Explains It All?? Here's Laura & Vincent Explain Trans! So much truth I need to watch it again. Great job - thank you for your insight.
My son has a Pathologically demand avoidant autism profile and one of the demands he avoids and is common among PDAers is growing up, knowledge, and research about PDA are still thin on the ground but I wonder if any of the autistic youngsters have this profile, especially amongst young women and girls who may not even realize they are on the spectrum.
I think child abuse has been normalized and many people are born into these generational cycles and they are infantilised and or parentified. When they are at a different development phase it starts showing up because that sense of self was impacted by something that they had no way to process.
thank you for your open honest discussions about your detransition. it's so sad to me that voices of detransitioners are being bullied and shut down by the trans 'community'. as a former teacher and an older masculine woman, i am horrified by the lack of concern for all of the people pushed into transition who now regret it, are stopping their transitions. i can't help but think if i was ten to fifteen years younger i would also be a detransitioner. thanks for your bravery.
@Keurgui1 Your the one calling females cows. I am just saying female is biological category and woman is social categorie. As for what cows call each other idk. I don't speak cow.
Check out RCCX theory. I do think, based on all the illnesses that are also comorbid, that the gender fluidity has a biological cause as ther hypothesis suggests, not just psychological (as much as I hate separating biological from psychological, bc they are intertwined). I was a gifted, shy, tomboyish girl which counts as gender fluid, but than God I lived in a society where changing gender wasn't an option. My BFF and I joked that we were gay men trapped in women's bodies, and it was a fun joke that went no further. Our pain went more towards depression, anorexia for me, and overeating for her. Note... I only heard a part of this and need to come back to it.
it is ok for women to not 'present' as a 50s style housewife. the gender theory has actually regressed our society when it comes to gender imo. why do we need to label women who are not hyper feminine as something else instead of saying we are all women? the stereotyping of gender these days is actually highly disturbing to me. i have never been married and never had kids but i do not think of that as a problem in any way, biological or psychological. and i do not think of myself as a man because of those facts either. why do we say that women who do not dress girly or use make up or assert their opinions are 'masculine'? idk...i am just personally tired of all the labels. might be my middle age and my independent streak. but there is also a chasm between theory and real life that many of us fall into especially on the internet. theory can be comforting and it can also lead people especially adolescents down a seriously wrong path.
@@Nicole-ww4lg Nothing wrong with stereotypes. I'd like to snack the person who started the "stereotypes = bad" nonsense. No, they exist for a reason. Masculine things are what is commonly seen in males, and vice versa. Problem is that people have faulty black or white thinking and go too far. Stereotypes never represented 100% of a group nor did they claim to. It's ok to not be trusted by a stereotype, and it sure as hell is ok if you are (we've gone so backwards that they want to shame that now). The issue here is shame. There's no inherent shame in a stereotype. People attach their own. My ethnic group is commonly made fun of for being inbred and ignorant. And we make fun of ourselves. It's not an insult to me personally, because I'm neither of those things. But I don't deny that that's our history.
Hi Laura 💗 you look BEAUTIFUL, you’re so intelligent, and you make so much sense. I just want to reach in there and give you a big hug! Well done! Sending love 💕
I’m wondering if y’all think that EVERYONE is autistic then? Because that’s the way most people interface with their lives, and I don’t think everyone in the past 3 generations is autistic. I don’t disagree with your analysis and insights, however I observe that these behaviors are a response to trauma, personal and societal. We live in a capitalist system where most people are not (or perhaps never) going to “live their dream”. We function to scrape enough to pay the basics and maybe have something left over to enjoy. We make “things” to make things, not because these “things” are impactful or advance or enhance us in some meaningful way. (The items manufactured are certainly “impactful”. We are poisoning ourselves and the environment!). Exactly what plastic chatzkies do we NEED? None, but we’ll change our decor every year because we think we’re ‘keeping up’! I think that being divorced from nature, divided from other people, emotionally suppressed due to stoicism, and operating in a capitalist society as well as having little to no connection to our spirits (not religion) creates spiritual, physical, mental and emotional pathology and “trans” is but ONE symptom. And if anyone is observing humanity right now you’ll know there are so many other symptoms occurring in the world!
These problems existed within the human psyche long before capitalism. Try being an individual, with individual thoughts and perceptions in any other system that’s been attempted. Capitalism affords the most freedom for the people and freedom isn’t free. Nothing will ever be a utopia.
I'm getting sick and tired of the broadened definition of autism. Everyone is autistic these days. I also see adults blaming their shitty behavior on being autistic, but they're not autistic
I wonder if he works with pepole that want to detransition in California. In my case I transition ftm when I was 21 and lived in male spaces for 9 years still do at times I had a life crisis when I was 27. How I can describe is I felt I was living in a bubble then when I had that crisis it popped and I find myself living in a nightmare. Having mejor regret of my transition, having intrusive thoughts, reproductive panic, childhood SA blocked memories resurfaced , my attraction to biological men and self realization that I felt like a straight woman, but now didn't looked as one, feeling even more discomfort with my body and now flat chest, feeling as if I will wake up and everything was just a nightmare and more. I still get sad at times but now I am in therapy but it's hard to visualized myself. Anyways this video is very informative.
You should really take a good long look at past and present tenses, if you like to actually be understood. It is almost impossible to follow you, in a chronological sense, and be sure of what you were trying to convey.
@Wandering.Homebody comments don't necessarily have to be written in chronological order to comprehend. My comment was more of a description of when I made the choice to physically transition age 21, lived and passed as male, and lived in male spaces for years, age 27 I had a life panic attack ( I'm being brief), where my life felt like a nightmare and I didn't understand it completely at that time but definitely regreted transitioning. Now, thankfully, I am in a better understanding of my life right now , but with that I am sharing my experience, honestly and trying to find information and pepole that want to help woman with my experience. You mention you didn't care .Well, I am responding just to say I definitely do care for people who feel stuck or have regrets .
@@needknowledge4250 No, I meant I didn't care that you make mistakes, but that you might benefit, generally speaking, in your life,in communication with others, if you care to be understood maximally well, from revising past tenses. Apart from that, thank you for your very honest account, that was really interesting to read, and very touching. I really hope that you can come to terms with it, in the best possible way, and am wishing you all the best.
42:50 Laura talks about her mother's comments: "you're disabled; you should never reproduce". The counselor expresses his outrage and condemnation, interpreting those comments as callous and cruel. Without any context. What if that context was that after zillion of attempts to reason with Laura, her mother resorted to reverse psychology? "You can't digest logic, maybe irony will shock you out of you funk"? Uncritically jumping on a condemnation wagon is not good therapy.
This is because Vincent is a close friend who knows me well--this was indeed a callous and cruel remark. I should clarify here that Vincent is not my counselor nor is this interview intended as therapy.
@@LauraBeckerReal First of all - thank you for your reply! I thoroughly enjoyed your thoughtful and extensive interview. It explained so many things I was struggling with. Thank you also for clarifying the context of your mother's remark. Same words can mean so many different things to different people and in different states of mind. I have seen so many uncharitable misinterpretations and attempts to evoke emotional outrage that I have some kind of allergy now. I'm sorry if I missed the mark in this case. All the best to both of you!
About the competency in parents. I have a child in my life who believes they are a boy. Not trans, but a boy. My husband and I know that what she I experiencing is a delusion but because her mother shows incompetence and has whole heartedly thrown herself into this delusion as well, no one will listen to us. It’s heartbreaking 😢 She is now 18 and will be graduating soon. She’s already had her breasts removed almost 2 years ago and her next move is to have a hysterectomy once she graduates. It tears me up inside everyday knowing that she will be ruining her life if she makes these choices because in a few more years she may finally realize what a huge mistake she made. So much of your story sounds similar to hers but she has convinced herself that she is a boy with a situation. I do believe she has undiagnosed autism but it seems easier for her to accept her delusion than be autistic.
Never wanted children or marriage! Not Trans or Gay. I followed what I knew was right for me. At 70 years of age, times have changed somewhat. What hasn’t changed and never will are dipsticks interfering in the lives of others. Leave it to those that have studied this phenomena! Opinions are only opinions. But, we solidify those opinions into biases and call them facts. Cheers. 😊
I think spending a lot of time focusing on the drama of the past while not focusing as much or more on taking action & making changes in the present is also an avoidance strategy
Sorry.. but your analysis is a very personal opinion. I have gender identity disorder since my earliest memories. I always wanted to be a wife and a mother since I was a child, and imma male. I had typical South Asian discipline but also a lot of love and being spoiled. I was socially successful, good looks really help. I was also doing good financially. Anytime I was sexual with another guy, I would disassociate because of my body, my penis. You made a horrible mistake and now you’re really trying to make it something it’s not. Go after the health system, self id, nonbinaries, no need of gender dysphoria to get on hrt, etc.
I'm glad you've been successful. However, this isn't just personal opinion--we've seen dozens and up to hundreds of trans and detrans with these issues.
@ I agree there’s been an increase of these issues but we can talk about it working for ppl who truly need it, which are rare cases and most ppl don’t! It all comes down to our healthcare system and how many healthcare professionals are being silenced!
Project 2025 what are your thoughts. We are dealimg with someone whos a literal threat to our democracy and women and minorities and NO its not us trans people.
Hahaha really?? What does Project 2025 (which has nothing to do with Trump btw) and yes, Harris/Walz are a threat to democracy have to do with this? Do you know why Laura and SO MANY other WOMEN have leaned right and support Trump this election cycle? Bc the left has gone absolutely 🦇💩 crazy with indoctrination in schools of KIDS with Marxist theory (🤔 critical race theory anyone?) which is a threat to democracy. Marxism = communism. The left is doing what’s called DARVO (deny, attack, reverse, victim and offender) - gaslighting bc they have nothing to lose at this point. When you come for people’s children, the mama bear claws come out. Laura is a badazz woman - so proud of her!
Forcing someone to lie and call you something you're objectively not (ie, the opposite se x), and having such lies be backed up by all of our institutions, is indeed a threat to our democracy.
What's wrong with having a f eti sh though? They can be harmless after all. Many people have them and struggle with them without being bad people. I've heard from other trans people that they do have some kind s ex ual drive behind their desire to transition. The human mind is a complicated mess, so why deny these factors? It would be best to examine these things without casting harsh judgement.
@@pinxelated2799exactly, but one can have a f e t ish and choose to NOT physically change their body. Let’s tell kids THAT. Some f e t ish es involve the desire to be amputees - should we have state Medicaid paying for them to amputate their legs or arms (for a s e x ual f e t ish)? I don’t think so. You could not get taxpayers to sign up for that.
I’m not a therapist, but I’ve been trying to talk about how I believe many adults are in arrested development for years; especially within the trans movement right now. I’ve been kicked out of friend groups and my comments get blocked. I’ll be shocked if this one posts because of my usage of “arrested development”…thank you for talking about this.
I agree ..Peter pan syndrome ..
Half of them live in a cartoon anime world and think they are fairies .
Certainly, Facebook is very slanted to all things Feminism. Including, in particular, trans activism. Even more so, now that Trump must be defeated. (Not defending either side of the political spectrum; just reporting the truth as I view it).
Just call yourself a therapist.
You don’t need any qualifications to do so.
@@TheQuixoticRambler I will argue that the trans movement is anti-feminist. And please stop saying "the truth as I see it." That's the delusion that allows this garbage in the first place. Learn the difference between truth and opinion and stop using these gen z re-definitions.
It's an incredible relief
That there are finally rational, intelligent discussions popping up everywhere about this, and so many other things.
Now how to get your teens to listen to this as in therapy they are just affirmed and nothing else is looked at .. at least where I live .. mine showed zero signed until the boom of bio females into males during covid not even a tomboy.. now just has spent 4 years depressed .. violent .. abusive... mentally unstable.. and in the high school over half the kids are trans and it's mostly bio females and everyone is constantly having mental health issues. Many are on blockers and hormones and still unhappy
@@Sillybillyilly my kids know that stuff is all baloney. It's the reality they're growing up in, and that's what they have to deal with on a daily basis.
This is why I turned my back on nerd culture. When I was a kid, you didn't want to be a nerd. You hid that you liked things outside the norm. Once I had a science teacher, make fun of me because I wrote on a "about me" paper that I liked Batman and was trying to figure out how a xerox machine worked. Yes. A science teacher thought that my interest in xerox machines made me a loser. A science teacher.
Now, nerd cultures are about how many things people can consume. It's childish! And you can't just like it. You have to obsessed over it and make it your identity. And you have to argue if someone has a theory different than you. And then it got to a comic book can't just be a comic book, but it had to have some kind of social commentary. And representation.
It's very childish.
Great conversation. Thank you for these great insights into motivations, trans-specific narcissism, failure to launch, competencies, misdirected creativity, and fantasy v. reality. And how abuse and neglect ensue, when novelty results in dead end relationships. Some hard truths in here, unpicking the dynamics in current dating circles, and how low self esteem leads people to accept the breadcrumbs of affection from neglectful romantic partners, and how this is amplified by transgenderism.
as someone who taught adolescents for 15 years and quit teaching because of the pretty extreme shift in parenting over the course of those 15 years, the parental obsession with comfort above all else is also part of why kids avoid so hard now. i had serious birth trauma for the first twelve days of my life that led to anxiety issues, high sensitivity which has made me pathologically avoidant for most of my life but my parents put me in uncomforable situations regularly so now as an adult i can function regularly in the adult world. my father was pretty adamant about not medicalizing either me or my brother because he was a paramedic and more knowledgeable about the medical system than most parents. and i'm also in my 40s so medicalization wasn't as big of a problem in my childhood. he always said 'i don't want you living in my house forever. go out and do adult things. it's time to grow up.' and these days i am so glad he did that even though at the time i thought it was mean.
It's also basic truth of spiritual development, at least according to most religions. We need to struggle, we need to learn to overcome things, that's how we grow. It's like with a physical body - you need some resistance for your muscles to grow, otherwise they'd get weak.
I relate a lot to her. I just never transitioned. One Halloween I dressed as a nerdy bowtie look, I think trying out what I felt if I dressed like a man/boy. Earlier that year I got a pixie haircut. And I went to the mall to just walk around. When I went to the bathroom, a little girl asked her mom why was there a boy at the bathroom. I felt so ashamed to be causing others such discomfort. I never did it again. I just don't have what it takes to be that selfish and narcissistic to want to put others through something so awkward and feeling unsafe in a space where women should feel safe. With time, I found someone to love who loved me back, I am happily married. I shudder to think what could have happened if I grew up nowadays, I would have been medicalized.
❤Thank you for sharing this! You guys are so insightful. Laura your self analysis tracks so much with my experiences in the 80s and 90s 😅
At least you were going through fucked up shit when the music was good, lol.
@LauraBeckerReal hahhahaahahah oh man 😆 😂
Goodness, I’m only a small fraction into this video and can relate so much, not just because I am a detransitioned woman, but because she hits on so many salient (and novel) common points in such a short amount of time.
We really packed it in there, lol. I am glad it resonated with you.
Wow. You guys completely nailed what I have also observed is the true reason transition appeals to young people today. The part about hating the "dating rules" so you just opt out of them, and how if you had had a single positive relationship with a male, you probably wouldn't have transitioned, and how puberty installs motivation in ourselves, AH such good points! You guys ended the gender debate right here imo. Please continue talking about this! ❤❤❤
If only we ended it, right?
This is a very important YT-Channel. Thank's to everyone investing time and work into it. ❤
Speaking of the 80's/90's - remember the show Clarissa Explains It All?? Here's Laura & Vincent Explain Trans! So much truth I need to watch it again. Great job - thank you for your insight.
I wish me and Vincent could have a daily or weekly Explain Trans show :D
This is so insightful. Thank you for this.
Thanks for sharing. I am sorry you had all of these issues but pleased that you are doing well.
My son has a Pathologically demand avoidant autism profile and one of the demands he avoids and is common among PDAers is growing up, knowledge, and research about PDA are still thin on the ground but I wonder if any of the autistic youngsters have this profile, especially amongst young women and girls who may not even realize they are on the spectrum.
Thanks for speaking up 🤗
I think child abuse has been normalized and many people are born into these generational cycles and they are infantilised and or parentified. When they are at a different development phase it starts showing up because that sense of self was impacted by something that they had no way to process.
thank you for your open honest discussions about your detransition. it's so sad to me that voices of detransitioners are being bullied and shut down by the trans 'community'. as a former teacher and an older masculine woman, i am horrified by the lack of concern for all of the people pushed into transition who now regret it, are stopping their transitions. i can't help but think if i was ten to fifteen years younger i would also be a detransitioner. thanks for your bravery.
I have to say, the conversations that have emerged from this are very intriguing
Yes! Teenagers call themselves “Trans kids” .
Live as a woman, but don't pretend superficial cosmetic surgery makes you one. Gynecological cancers discriminate, why wouldn't people?
I live as a woman cause I am one. A male woman
@@oliviamaynard9372Paradoxical innit
@Keurgui1 Nope. Male and female are biological categories and man and Woman are social categories
@@oliviamaynard9372 That’s like saying a Cow is a social category and not just the word for a female steer
@Keurgui1 Your the one calling females cows. I am just saying female is biological category and woman is social categorie. As for what cows call each other idk. I don't speak cow.
Check out RCCX theory. I do think, based on all the illnesses that are also comorbid, that the gender fluidity has a biological cause as ther hypothesis suggests, not just psychological (as much as I hate separating biological from psychological, bc they are intertwined). I was a gifted, shy, tomboyish girl which counts as gender fluid, but than God I lived in a society where changing gender wasn't an option. My BFF and I joked that we were gay men trapped in women's bodies, and it was a fun joke that went no further. Our pain went more towards depression, anorexia for me, and overeating for her.
Note... I only heard a part of this and need to come back to it.
it is ok for women to not 'present' as a 50s style housewife. the gender theory has actually regressed our society when it comes to gender imo. why do we need to label women who are not hyper feminine as something else instead of saying we are all women? the stereotyping of gender these days is actually highly disturbing to me. i have never been married and never had kids but i do not think of that as a problem in any way, biological or psychological. and i do not think of myself as a man because of those facts either. why do we say that women who do not dress girly or use make up or assert their opinions are 'masculine'? idk...i am just personally tired of all the labels. might be my middle age and my independent streak. but there is also a chasm between theory and real life that many of us fall into especially on the internet. theory can be comforting and it can also lead people especially adolescents down a seriously wrong path.
@@Nicole-ww4lg Nothing wrong with stereotypes. I'd like to snack the person who started the "stereotypes = bad" nonsense. No, they exist for a reason. Masculine things are what is commonly seen in males, and vice versa. Problem is that people have faulty black or white thinking and go too far. Stereotypes never represented 100% of a group nor did they claim to. It's ok to not be trusted by a stereotype, and it sure as hell is ok if you are (we've gone so backwards that they want to shame that now). The issue here is shame. There's no inherent shame in a stereotype. People attach their own. My ethnic group is commonly made fun of for being inbred and ignorant. And we make fun of ourselves. It's not an insult to me personally, because I'm neither of those things. But I don't deny that that's our history.
Hi Laura 💗 you look BEAUTIFUL, you’re so intelligent, and you make so much sense. I just want to reach in there and give you a big hug! Well done! Sending love 💕
Thank you, Denise!
I’m wondering if y’all think that EVERYONE is autistic then? Because that’s the way most people interface with their lives, and I don’t think everyone in the past 3 generations is autistic. I don’t disagree with your analysis and insights, however I observe that these behaviors are a response to trauma, personal and societal. We live in a capitalist system where most people are not (or perhaps never) going to “live their dream”. We function to scrape enough to pay the basics and maybe have something left over to enjoy. We make “things” to make things, not because these “things” are impactful or advance or enhance us in some meaningful way. (The items manufactured are certainly “impactful”. We are poisoning ourselves and the environment!). Exactly what plastic chatzkies do we NEED? None, but we’ll change our decor every year because we think we’re ‘keeping up’!
I think that being divorced from nature, divided from other people, emotionally suppressed due to stoicism, and operating in a capitalist society as well as having little to no connection to our spirits (not religion) creates spiritual, physical, mental and emotional pathology and “trans” is but ONE symptom. And if anyone is observing humanity right now you’ll know there are so many other symptoms occurring in the world!
These problems existed within the human psyche long before capitalism. Try being an individual, with individual thoughts and perceptions in any other system that’s been attempted. Capitalism affords the most freedom for the people and freedom isn’t free. Nothing will ever be a utopia.
I'm getting sick and tired of the broadened definition of autism. Everyone is autistic these days. I also see adults blaming their shitty behavior on being autistic, but they're not autistic
Right on.
I wonder if he works with pepole that want to detransition in California. In my case I transition ftm when I was 21 and lived in male spaces for 9 years still do at times I had a life crisis when I was 27. How I can describe is I felt I was living in a bubble then when I had that crisis it popped and I find myself living in a nightmare. Having mejor regret of my transition, having intrusive thoughts, reproductive panic, childhood SA blocked memories resurfaced , my attraction to biological men and self realization that I felt like a straight woman, but now didn't looked as one, feeling even more discomfort with my body and now flat chest, feeling as if I will wake up and everything was just a nightmare and more. I still get sad at times but now I am in therapy but it's hard to visualized myself. Anyways this video is very informative.
You should really take a good long look at past and present tenses, if you like to actually be understood. It is almost impossible to follow you, in a chronological sense, and be sure of what you were trying to convey.
@@Wandering.HomebodyI was able to comprehend it. Try a little harder
@@punkrockgirl488 it's for the person's benefit, not mine. Like I said, if they WANT to be understood. I don't care, obviously.
@Wandering.Homebody comments don't necessarily have to be written in chronological order to comprehend. My comment was more of a description of when I made the choice to physically transition age 21, lived and passed as male, and lived in male spaces for years, age 27 I had a life panic attack ( I'm being brief), where my life felt like a nightmare and I didn't understand it completely at that time but definitely regreted transitioning. Now, thankfully, I am in a better understanding of my life right now , but with that I am sharing my experience, honestly and trying to find information and pepole that want to help woman with my experience. You mention you didn't care .Well, I am responding just to say I definitely do care for people who feel stuck or have regrets .
@@needknowledge4250 No, I meant I didn't care that you make mistakes, but that you might benefit, generally speaking, in your life,in communication with others, if you care to be understood maximally well, from revising past tenses. Apart from that, thank you for your very honest account, that was really interesting to read, and very touching. I really hope that you can come to terms with it, in the best possible way, and am wishing you all the best.
42:50 Laura talks about her mother's comments: "you're disabled; you should never reproduce". The counselor expresses his outrage and condemnation, interpreting those comments as callous and cruel.
Without any context.
What if that context was that after zillion of attempts to reason with Laura, her mother resorted to reverse psychology? "You can't digest logic, maybe irony will shock you out of you funk"?
Uncritically jumping on a condemnation wagon is not good therapy.
This is because Vincent is a close friend who knows me well--this was indeed a callous and cruel remark. I should clarify here that Vincent is not my counselor nor is this interview intended as therapy.
@@LauraBeckerReal First of all - thank you for your reply! I thoroughly enjoyed your thoughtful and extensive interview. It explained so many things I was struggling with.
Thank you also for clarifying the context of your mother's remark. Same words can mean so many different things to different people and in different states of mind. I have seen so many uncharitable misinterpretations and attempts to evoke emotional outrage that I have some kind of allergy now. I'm sorry if I missed the mark in this case.
All the best to both of you!
@@rys2754 Thank you for understanding based on new information 😁
About the competency in parents. I have a child in my life who believes they are a boy. Not trans, but a boy. My husband and I know that what she I experiencing is a delusion but because her mother shows incompetence and has whole heartedly thrown herself into this delusion as well, no one will listen to us. It’s heartbreaking 😢 She is now 18 and will be graduating soon. She’s already had her breasts removed almost 2 years ago and her next move is to have a hysterectomy once she graduates. It tears me up inside everyday knowing that she will be ruining her life if she makes these choices because in a few more years she may finally realize what a huge mistake she made. So much of your story sounds similar to hers but she has convinced herself that she is a boy with a situation. I do believe she has undiagnosed autism but it seems easier for her to accept her delusion than be autistic.
I knew this from the start
Never wanted children or marriage! Not Trans or Gay. I followed what I knew was right for me. At 70 years of age, times have changed somewhat. What hasn’t changed and never will are dipsticks interfering in the lives of others. Leave it to those that have studied this phenomena! Opinions are only opinions. But, we solidify those opinions into biases and call them facts. Cheers. 😊
I am old. And apart from ine famous you tuber I must say that I have never met a gay person who was grown up. But I am open to changing my mind.
She looks so lovely 🌹
Horus has likely read Animorphs.. the best book series of all time
I think spending a lot of time focusing on the drama of the past while not focusing as much or more on taking action & making changes in the present is also an avoidance strategy
Sorry.. but your analysis is a very personal opinion. I have gender identity disorder since my earliest memories. I always wanted to be a wife and a mother since I was a child, and imma male. I had typical South Asian discipline but also a lot of love and being spoiled. I was socially successful, good looks really help. I was also doing good financially. Anytime I was sexual with another guy, I would disassociate because of my body, my penis. You made a horrible mistake and now you’re really trying to make it something it’s not. Go after the health system, self id, nonbinaries, no need of gender dysphoria to get on hrt, etc.
I'm glad you've been successful. However, this isn't just personal opinion--we've seen dozens and up to hundreds of trans and detrans with these issues.
@ I agree there’s been an increase of these issues but we can talk about it working for ppl who truly need it, which are rare cases and most ppl don’t! It all comes down to our healthcare system and how many healthcare professionals are being silenced!
Because us autistics never really quite grow up. When we do it's very late in life.
Absolutely that is a big part of it. I feel like due to autism and trauma combo I'm developing skills I should have done about ten years ago.
Project 2025 what are your thoughts. We are dealimg with someone whos a literal threat to our democracy and women and minorities and NO its not us trans people.
Hahaha really?? What does Project 2025 (which has nothing to do with Trump btw) and yes, Harris/Walz are a threat to democracy have to do with this? Do you know why Laura and SO MANY other WOMEN have leaned right and support Trump this election cycle? Bc the left has gone absolutely 🦇💩 crazy with indoctrination in schools of KIDS with Marxist theory (🤔 critical race theory anyone?) which is a threat to democracy. Marxism = communism. The left is doing what’s called DARVO (deny, attack, reverse, victim and offender) - gaslighting bc they have nothing to lose at this point. When you come for people’s children, the mama bear claws come out. Laura is a badazz woman - so proud of her!
We have a constitution for a reason and no matter what fear mongers say, it can’t just be abolished.
Forcing someone to lie and call you something you're objectively not (ie, the opposite se x), and having such lies be backed up by all of our institutions, is indeed a threat to our democracy.
This feels patronizing and incorrect. Its nicer than being called fetishist though.
You're a fetishist
What's wrong with having a f eti sh though? They can be harmless after all. Many people have them and struggle with them without being bad people.
I've heard from other trans people that they do have some kind s ex ual drive behind their desire to transition. The human mind is a complicated mess, so why deny these factors? It would be best to examine these things without casting harsh judgement.
@pinxelated2799 Trans isn't a fetish though. Like being a hoosexual isn't
@@pinxelated2799exactly, but one can have a f e t ish and choose to NOT physically change their body. Let’s tell kids THAT. Some f e t ish es involve the desire to be amputees - should we have state Medicaid paying for them to amputate their legs or arms (for a s e x ual f e t ish)? I don’t think so. You could not get taxpayers to sign up for that.
For the majority of men who want to transition there is a fet ish aspect.