This will hopefully be the last video where I sound like a squeaky pack-a-day smoking mouse. I went to the doctor, and he said the only thing that could cure my illness would be more HAI topics. I have some of those, but I need more to get 100% better, so submit your ideas here: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfUdlvw6YgU44J8AnM2U_ZvRMyvh_CUM51LYSqF5nYJB9d1-w/viewform?usp=sf_link As a reward for curing me, if we use your topic, we'll send you a free HAI t-shirt.
This video is about assassination attempts and the first words are, “This video was made possible by Skill Share.” What exactly are they teaching over at Skill Share?
I would have done it for maybe like 10 million or so, but not 10k , Imagine paying for the flight and the gun, and your escape vehicle, and then ending up with a loss. Or even worse: failing, getting captured and tortured for the rest of your live.
He actually archived it. It was a Zebu and Holstein cow mix most of his breeding effort didn't pay off but he managed to create one cow meeting his wishes. The cow was named "Ubre Blanca" which translated means "White Udder" she is said to have peaked at 110L mild a day. Updates on her well being and milk procurement was reported daily in the Cuban newspapers and after her death, he made a giant marble statue in her honor.
To be fair, sounds like a good amount of those attempts were actually plans that were abandoned before being tried. I don't think that technically counts as a failure.
@@Cal90208 Exploratory planning and deciding to not do it based on high likelihood of poor outcomes could be counted as a success. A success of the plan screening process. If it was already implemented and had to be retracted in the field then that could be considered a failure of both the plan and the screening process.
“(...) which investigated whether the CIA had ever abused its power, which is kinda like investigating wether snoop dog has ever smoked weed.” this is the best line in this video and it’s way underrated
CBS Putin Interview Interviewer: "3 times president, 5 assassination attempts I'm told. Not as much as Castro who have interviewed, I think he must have had 50 but there's a legitimate 5 I've heard about." Putin: Yes, I talked with Castro about that. And he said to me, _"Do you know why I'm still alive?"_ I asked him _"Why?"_ , "Because I was always the one to deal with my security personally."
Yeah I have seen that interview. But I don't think that the CIA stopped trying to kill Putin after 5 attempts. He is a nightmare for them, so it's very likely that there are way more than 5 attempts to kill him failing to do so.
The funniest thing about this is that some CIA agent after the 637th attempt must've been like : "Ok , hear me out guys, what if THIS time, we actually succeeded?"
@@granterickson5784 Yeah it was kind of a joke, bc countries with stealable oil and countries with left wing governments are the main targets of the CIA and US-sanctions, if you look into the history of that.
"[Report], which investigated whether the CIA had ever abused its power - which is kind of like investigating whether Snoop Dogg has ever smoked weed."
@Leonis Krigorian They had a large scandal in the 1820s where the postmaster general was handing off high ranking positions to political loyalists like their close family members.
Leonis Krigorian The post office has a legal monopoly on delivering mail. Nobody besides them is allowed to deliver mail except for special deliveries (like contracts or important business documents). If FedEx were to deliver a postcard, they could be prosecuted for breaking the law. If that’s not abuse of power, idk what is.
Britain had several plans to kill Hitler but decided against it as Hitler was winning them the war and they were worried about someone more competent becoming in charge.
If there were 638 attempts between the 1960s to the 2000s, that essentially means Castro had an attempt assasination practically at least one every week.
That's 638 attempts in the span of 40 years, which means around 16 attempts per year (638 divided by 40 is 15.95). As there are 52 weeks in a year, it could therefore have not been one attempt every week, or even 2 weeks. Though, you may be working with some information that I am not (for example the density in which the attempts happened - which could mean one assassination attempt per week happened at one point in those 40 years).
If somebody has grown up in the US all their lives, like me, it can often come as a violent shock, but uh yeah. It's actually astounding how often something like "a free election happens for the first time in decades, a moderate socialist is elected who begins, I dunno, giving people health care, and the CIA fucking murders him and installs a fascist dictator." Like, it's not just something that happened. It was the official, ongoing, continuous, and relentless policy of this nation. I don't know why the fuck I'm even saying "was", like we're not probably trying to do it even now. It's like when somebody learns that the Nazi death camps were not Germany's first time with the concept, and they hear about the colonialism in Africa, that during the German Empire, long before fascism was literally even invented, they were doing the exact same thing to native populations, down to having evil scientists experiment on them. Fascism is capitalism's reaction to being challenged by socialism.
@@RoyalFusilier The US certainly committed terrible crimes, but you seem to be missing the definition of Fascism. Fascism would a state a totalitarian state where people are monitored for their ideas or what they saw, where businesses and the workers 'cooperate' to form an economy under the guidance of the state, an extreme nationalist regime, and with the leader having a cult of personality. What you seem to portray is simply a utilitarian military dictatorship, led by military juntas. Terrible, nonetheless, but Fascism is an often misused word which has almost lost its meaning due to how often it is used as a pejorative.
@@SP-rt4ig no. fascism has a much better definition: fascism is when, independent of which form of government is employed, the democracy of the workers, and whatever means they have of organizing, are supressed, dismantled and disabled. that is what fascism is. now the democracy of the workers has very little to do with the democracy of the rich and powerful. that can be supressed under fascism but rarely, usually because those who back fascist governments are the rich and powerful to begin with. what is the democracy of the rich and powerful? simple: elections, congress, boards of directors, and economic or political forum you can think of. now what is the democracy of the workers? the ability to strike, the ability to organize into grassroot or political movements and parties, student movements, the ability to manifest their political wishes in the streets, these are the democratic tools of the workers, nothing else. a fascist government can very well try and ideologically control the people, but thats unnecessary: in countries with more severe restrictions on the state's capacity to supress organization of the masses for political battle, we see much more ideological control then in totalitarian and opressive states, who just need to kill and arrest...
The CIA in movies: "we are the most elite spies and assassins in the world, we topple governments and make tyrants disappear!" The CIA IRL: "we are literally just a bunch of criminals stealing tax payer dollars to break international laws and fail at everything we do".
@@SometimesCompitent That's not what "Lets Go Brandon" means. It came from a reporter at, I believe, a NASCAR race where the crowd was cheering "F*** Joe Biden" but the reporter was like "Oh yeah, they're like cheering your name Brandon! ha, ha, ha.. Let's Go Brandon!" to the winner of the race. Then all the Trump lovers just kinda ran with it for some reason. But the saying is basically anti-Biden who is currently the president and thus a form a anti-government saying. Deeper meaning for most who say it could be support of former US president, Donald Trump, but the government didn't seem to like him terribly much either. Regardless, the saying is not really involved with the CIA at all. The US flag could be in support of the CIA vaguely, but the flag means so many things to so many people. It could just be support of the idea of the country, or straight up support of the government. Either way, dumb saying and the US government is corrupt af no matter who is charge.
This is the “One Joke” for capitalists completely uneducated in socialism but what they’ve heard through American media in the same way the Attack Helicopter joke is the One Joke for transphobes
Oof, good one! KGB attempts on Tito: 22 (all failed) CIA attempts on Castro: 638 (same as above) My bad if there's someone that the KGB has tried to kill more than Tito.
@@michellesheppard9253 Tito replied to Stalin and said “Stop sending people to kill me. We’ve already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle. If you don’t stop sending killers, I’ll send one to Moscow, and I won’t have to send a second.” Also, that wasn't KGB which attempted Assassinations on Tito, it was NKVD.
At a certain point in this failed attempts, the Cuban gov't had to be like "Awwww, you almost got'em better luck like time!" or "You know what, the plans for this attempt will go right up on the fridge, you're kid tried his best..."
Reminds me of Fidel’s episode on The Simpsons, he claimed they named a street after him in San Francisco. Homer checked off that he was there to assassinate Castro
Reminds me of Discworld, when Death goes on vacation and saves that guy whose drowning (and wanted to die). When the guy asks him why he saved him, Death responds: FOR LATER
Wasn't there also attempts to try and ruin Castro's image, like powder that would cause his hair to fall out and thus no longer be known as "The beard"
@@gnualmafuerte The people at the time loved him more than the other guy and the CIA figured that Castro's beard was rather iconic... I mean would you recognise Che Guevara without his distinctive beard? Or Abraham Lincoln? There certainly was an image to destroy and revolutionary leaders kinda need that image...
@@gnualmafuerte The point is that the CIA figured that there were many ways to kill Castro besides trying to actually kill him. Destroying his image was one of them and one such way was powder that would cause hair loss because the CIA obviously has a division of highschoolers who'd come up with all sorts of wacky pranks...
Rip Curl 69 id rather have trump as king of USA than having the liberals tske full control like the UK. Too much of each side is the end, but the left already showed how bad they’ll fuck it up in Europe
There aren't many good candidates for this election. Bernie looks like he'll keel over at any moment Warren likes to pretend that she's native american Biden is just full on senile; in an interview. He was asked by a woman of color what he would do if she was his daughter and got pulled over. His response was "Firstly, if you where my daughter you would be Caucasian, and you wouldn't be pulled over."
Americans "why do you care about our politics so much" Me looking at all the destabilise countries, toppled democracies and installed brutal dictatorships around the world.
Btw UA-cam isnt accepting some of my comments and replies which write about History. (also kind of anti-British but with reasons and 100% facts. I was writing about colonization) It shows an error when I still write the comment and try to post it
I just love this type of humor. This is the best humor you can get at the entire planet. It's ridiculous, making serious things sounds like it was pitty. I just love it :-)
You know, Castro wasn’t that bad in the end. He might’ve been a little dictatory in his youth, but died a charming old man. He could’ve been your grandpa or something.
Finally. I thought more people would have been commenting about this. Only 1 of the 7 "assassination attempts" that were detailed was an actual failed attempt. Even that one is hard to call an attempt. The waiter spilled the poison, so the attempt couldn't be made.
I’m from Cleveland and I absolutely lost it with his reference to total absolute failure being almost as bad as the Cleveland Browns. Love my Browns but we deserve this ridicule after the seasons we have been playing.
This will hopefully be the last video where I sound like a squeaky pack-a-day smoking mouse. I went to the doctor, and he said the only thing that could cure my illness would be more HAI topics. I have some of those, but I need more to get 100% better, so submit your ideas here: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfUdlvw6YgU44J8AnM2U_ZvRMyvh_CUM51LYSqF5nYJB9d1-w/viewform?usp=sf_link
As a reward for curing me, if we use your topic, we'll send you a free HAI t-shirt.
Half as Interesting hi
Take care bro and hope you get to rest some!! 👌
Half as Interesting I submitted the M185 video(twice in fact) where’s my shirt?
@@QuarioQuario54321 Maby someone submitted it before you?
0:49 "Fulgencio Batista", but pronounced 'Bastista'?
I want a tv show where each episode is an assassination attempt and the tagline is "Curse you Castro"
"Curse you, Castro the Marxist-Leninist!!!"
@@cpsbBXCX i immediately read that in doofenshmirtz voice
@@theeclipsemaster Same.
@@theeclipsemaster "We've got 104 years of the human lifespan and we've come along just to end his..."
and Castro never even realizes that he's being targeted, instead just doing stuff like drinking milk all day.
Imagine being the guy in charge of killing castro, he must've went crazy after the 600th attempt
He was probably on drugs.
I think by attempt 100 he probably would've been fired
The next guy can't be as bad as the last guy.
edge lord
everyone was on drugs. it was the 60's
@@BothHands1 true.
What if he succeeded? He'd be out of a job.
I hope that someone in the operation called the explosive seashell "sea4"
or satshell charge
Get out!
Seafloor
@@ILoveCatsYippee. thanks man
In dead :,)
This video is about assassination attempts and the first words are, “This video was made possible by Skill Share.” What exactly are they teaching over at Skill Share?
DejaVoodooDoll 😂
Alfredo Acosta that would be creepy
How not to kill Castro.
I hope if they have classes in assassination, that they aren't based on CIA training manuals.
666 likes : NOIce
"The poisoned cigars went to an unidentified person"
I feel bad for him
Abdullah Bashir Omg I do too
"Oh wow a bunch of cigars? I feel bad for the sucker who didnt get these"
RIP.
@@shrekonion8307 Probably happened on repeat until all the cigars were gone...
and that's why they write "cigars kill you" on the back of the box
Castro: *Dies of old age*
The US: Yeah, we definitely won.
the CIA: "we did it mr. president, we use Natural Selection as the weapon to kill him"
@@kakyoindonut3213 😹😹
“We got him!”
Castro: Dies of old age
Sure, that's what they want you to think.
@@benx6264 Oh no, there’s a crazy person in the comments.
Imagine spending $10,000 to order an assassination on someone, and they're just like "sorry, I've never got around to it"
@@naddarr1 Thats roughly 90k when adjusted for inflation. Still not alot tho.
you would be surprised how liberal government entities are with money that technicly ain't theirs
I'm assuming they would've paid after so they probably never lost it
I would have done it for maybe like 10 million or so, but not 10k ,
Imagine paying for the flight and the gun, and your escape vehicle, and then ending up with a loss.
Or even worse: failing, getting captured and tortured for the rest of your live.
basically any sibling or parent when you ask them to do something
Castro wasn’t able to die, he never completed his life’s greatest work; cows that could live in the Caribbean heat, and give lots of milk
Sam o nella academy wants your location.
Ubre 🅱️lanca intensifies
He actually archived it. It was a Zebu and Holstein cow mix most of his breeding effort didn't pay off but he managed to create one cow meeting his wishes. The cow was named "Ubre Blanca" which translated means "White Udder" she is said to have peaked at 110L mild a day. Updates on her well being and milk procurement was reported daily in the Cuban newspapers and after her death, he made a giant marble statue in her honor.
another potato :O
nice Channing Tatum avatar
It's hard to imagine that anyone could fail at anything 638 times consecutively. That's an astronomical number of failures.
Reality is funny!
To be fair, sounds like a good amount of those attempts were actually plans that were abandoned before being tried. I don't think that technically counts as a failure.
Ever played dark souls?
@@ckl9390 If they started it and gave up it’s a failure
@@Cal90208 Exploratory planning and deciding to not do it based on high likelihood of poor outcomes could be counted as a success. A success of the plan screening process. If it was already implemented and had to be retracted in the field then that could be considered a failure of both the plan and the screening process.
“(...) which investigated whether the CIA had ever abused its power, which is kinda like investigating wether snoop dog has ever smoked weed.”
this is the best line in this video and it’s way underrated
Reddit moment
@@tylerlackey1175 what does that mean lol i don’t have a reddit sorry if that’s a dumb question
@@tylerlackey1175 get ratioed
@@comradekenobi6908 npc moment
@@tylerlackey1175 lol ok Tyler
"Looking into whether the CIA abused their power" LOOOOOL good one
that's like saying water is wet
that's like investigating if snoop dogg smokes weed
nicolas44991 umm. Water isn’t wet.
I’ll whoosh myself now.
r/whoooooooosh.
Hmm yes the floor here is made of floor
Hmmmmm yes today we’re going to investigate if humans breathe.
Castro: *Dies of old age*
CIA man who tried to kill him 600 times: "I've won......
But at what cost?"
@@Twebs12 stop doing this, your video sucks
There's a joke that Fidel Castro once said: "I'd not die until America is destroyed"
He died less than a week after Trump won the election.
Chui Qiu that’s pretty epic if I do say so myself
@@yuantan9292 oof
*HE PLAYED US LIKE A FIDDLE*
CBS Putin Interview
Interviewer: "3 times president, 5 assassination attempts I'm told. Not as much as Castro who have interviewed, I think he must have had 50 but there's a legitimate 5 I've heard about."
Putin: Yes, I talked with Castro about that. And he said to me, _"Do you know why I'm still alive?"_ I asked him _"Why?"_ , "Because I was always the one to deal with my security personally."
That's smart
Yeah I have seen that interview. But I don't think that the CIA stopped trying to kill Putin after 5 attempts. He is a nightmare for them, so it's very likely that there are way more than 5 attempts to kill him failing to do so.
Hey how's Corona.
Hypernovic he’s doing fine.just watching tv
Hypernovic
Lol, now that you mentioned Corona. The president of China has disappeared & rumors are saying maybe he's infected
It’s crazy to think how much a pill getting stuck in a freezer changed history.
New recruit: "so I take them out quickly and efficiently, right?"
CIA: *We don't do that here.*
Little known fact: Wiley the Coyote was the Director of the CIA at the time most of the assassination attempts.
Castro is the Road Runner I suppose.
Beep beep!
50 years later: *HAI uploaded '90000 attempts of cia to kill Kim jong un'
The CIA would love it if you could... take him out
DPRK is a nuclear country with China sitting nextdoor. It fails and the DPRK leadership retaliates in kind. You've just killed the POTUS.
@@petersmythe6462
We're on 267 right now.
@@centralintelligenceagency5923 wait wut 😂😂😂
The funniest thing about this is that some CIA agent after the 637th attempt must've been like : "Ok , hear me out guys, what if THIS time, we actually succeeded?"
Castro's security team. "We are either, the greatest security team in the world
...or theyre legitimately incompetent"
Or both.
So basically the CIA was Tom and Fidel was Jerry.
No, The CIA was Wile E. Coyote and Fidel was the Roadrunner.
How dare you insult Tom like that
I was expecting a video about bricks....
I know... Where is the brick video? We need it.
Everyone who isn't judging an leader by his hat size, should lose his right to vote in my opinion.
*The Cuban government wants you to get rid of the opinion bit*
Sometimes hats fail though, which is why I like good old fashioned facial hair
You and Kim Jon Un would be good friends.
But hatsize isn't something that gets voted on.... it gets measured.
Peter Bonnema height, not head diameter
Country with oil: *elects left wing government*
CIA: "Allow us to introduce ourselves!"
I didn’t realize Cuba was a big oil producer...
@@granterickson5784 No, but they have the next best thing!
*BANANAS*
CIA: That wasn't very cash money of you
@@granterickson5784
Yeah it was kind of a joke, bc countries with stealable oil and countries with left wing governments are the main targets of the CIA and US-sanctions, if you look into the history of that.
CIA: How many Central and South Americans do we have to kill before you realize that Socialism doesn’t work?
"the secret for a long life is having the CIA spending 40 years trying to kill you"
lmao
God: Fine, I'll do it myself
He lived his life long and outlived everyone else.
Or did the CIA bribe God???
@@SpeedBird6780 can you stop.
@Mycel yeah bro you just blasphemed
jesus said elon musk cant go to heaven
"[Report], which investigated whether the CIA had ever abused its power - which is kind of like investigating whether Snoop Dogg has ever smoked weed."
Torille
Dude no way, Snoop's such a good christian child he will never touch the devil's lettuce
Leonis Krigorian the post office is literally a government owned monopoly
@Leonis Krigorian They had a large scandal in the 1820s where the postmaster general was handing off high ranking positions to political loyalists like their close family members.
Leonis Krigorian The post office has a legal monopoly on delivering mail. Nobody besides them is allowed to deliver mail except for special deliveries (like contracts or important business documents). If FedEx were to deliver a postcard, they could be prosecuted for breaking the law. If that’s not abuse of power, idk what is.
CIA: *CANT KILL CASTRO*
DEATH: *"FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF"*
Pinochet (looking down from 'up there'): I told ya my CHOPPERS are better. And my DINA is also BETTER!
Death 50 years later:
Actually thay did kill him he just had a totem of undying 638 of them
When everyone tries to kill hitler and fails
Hitler: OK IM GOING TO DO IT MYSELF
Lol ikr
Britain had several plans to kill Hitler but decided against it as Hitler was winning them the war and they were worried about someone more competent becoming in charge.
@@RetractedandRedacted imagine being so incompetent that they think that you being alive is better because anyone else being in charge
imagine trying to kill Fidel Castro but you failed 638 times and get fired and then Castro dies of old age
We remain great friends with Cuba, we miss Comrade Castro
Supreme leader
How is it going man?
I don’t know why I keep seeing comments from you and the fbi in every video I go to 😐
F
my favourite kpop asshole
HAI - We are gonna try to be uncontroversial
Also HAI - *Proceeds to roast Batista, the US aswell as the Cleveland Browns*
Most sane people would acknowledge that Batista was a dick.
Roasting the Browns isn't controversial. It's a fact, universally acknowledged, that they deserve it.
@@soupycask he was a douche bag.
@@ethank5059 they earned it by losing so much, rip browns
Savage
Catholics are like:
“Hell yes I judge leadership by The size of a hat”
Yep, just look at pope's hat.
He is the most Pope, for he has the most hat.
There is now a meme where the popes hat is a ps5
Exactly why Catholicism the best (this is the only reason)
Mogaaj Fghgf but was John f Kennedy orthodox? Didn’t think so
me: "What's the wifi password?"
friend: "Its on the back of the router."
back of the router: 1:23
underrated
That's a long password
Expecting to see this in AC2 somewhere.
Is Tito in the background picture?
Got it. Thanks.
If there were 638 attempts between the 1960s to the 2000s, that essentially means Castro had an attempt assasination practically at least one every week.
Bruuuuhhh...
That's 638 attempts in the span of 40 years, which means around 16 attempts per year (638 divided by 40 is 15.95). As there are 52 weeks in a year, it could therefore have not been one attempt every week, or even 2 weeks. Though, you may be working with some information that I am not (for example the density in which the attempts happened - which could mean one assassination attempt per week happened at one point in those 40 years).
@@palinanavitskaya6133
🤓
But also nice
Mission failed, we-
Wait.
That "boy meets military superpower" story... Man, that *ESCALANTED* quickly.
Breaking news for most US citizens:
In the Cold War, especially in Middle and South America, the US were rarely the good guys.
Tim Fischer who wouldn’t know that?
If somebody has grown up in the US all their lives, like me, it can often come as a violent shock, but uh yeah. It's actually astounding how often something like "a free election happens for the first time in decades, a moderate socialist is elected who begins, I dunno, giving people health care, and the CIA fucking murders him and installs a fascist dictator."
Like, it's not just something that happened. It was the official, ongoing, continuous, and relentless policy of this nation.
I don't know why the fuck I'm even saying "was", like we're not probably trying to do it even now.
It's like when somebody learns that the Nazi death camps were not Germany's first time with the concept, and they hear about the colonialism in Africa, that during the German Empire, long before fascism was literally even invented, they were doing the exact same thing to native populations, down to having evil scientists experiment on them.
Fascism is capitalism's reaction to being challenged by socialism.
@@RoyalFusilier The US certainly committed terrible crimes, but you seem to be missing the definition of Fascism. Fascism would a state a totalitarian state where people are monitored for their ideas or what they saw, where businesses and the workers 'cooperate' to form an economy under the guidance of the state, an extreme nationalist regime, and with the leader having a cult of personality. What you seem to portray is simply a utilitarian military dictatorship, led by military juntas. Terrible, nonetheless, but Fascism is an often misused word which has almost lost its meaning due to how often it is used as a pejorative.
@@RoyalFusilier
TBH Nobody was
The Soviets and Chinese were no better.
@@SP-rt4ig no. fascism has a much better definition: fascism is when, independent of which form of government is employed, the democracy of the workers, and whatever means they have of organizing, are supressed, dismantled and disabled. that is what fascism is. now the democracy of the workers has very little to do with the democracy of the rich and powerful. that can be supressed under fascism but rarely, usually because those who back fascist governments are the rich and powerful to begin with. what is the democracy of the rich and powerful? simple: elections, congress, boards of directors, and economic or political forum you can think of. now what is the democracy of the workers? the ability to strike, the ability to organize into grassroot or political movements and parties, student movements, the ability to manifest their political wishes in the streets, these are the democratic tools of the workers, nothing else. a fascist government can very well try and ideologically control the people, but thats unnecessary: in countries with more severe restrictions on the state's capacity to supress organization of the masses for political battle, we see much more ideological control then in totalitarian and opressive states, who just need to kill and arrest...
The CIA in movies: "we are the most elite spies and assassins in the world, we topple governments and make tyrants disappear!"
The CIA IRL: "we are literally just a bunch of criminals stealing tax payer dollars to break international laws and fail at everything we do".
And yet… you sport an avatar supporting them.
@@SometimesCompitent the fuck are you talking about? My pfp is literally 100% anti CIA.
CIA is like the most evil hollywood-ish organisation in the world that prepares many plots to destroy the world but end up failing miserably
@@SometimesCompitent That's not what "Lets Go Brandon" means. It came from a reporter at, I believe, a NASCAR race where the crowd was cheering "F*** Joe Biden" but the reporter was like "Oh yeah, they're like cheering your name Brandon! ha, ha, ha.. Let's Go Brandon!" to the winner of the race. Then all the Trump lovers just kinda ran with it for some reason.
But the saying is basically anti-Biden who is currently the president and thus a form a anti-government saying. Deeper meaning for most who say it could be support of former US president, Donald Trump, but the government didn't seem to like him terribly much either.
Regardless, the saying is not really involved with the CIA at all. The US flag could be in support of the CIA vaguely, but the flag means so many things to so many people. It could just be support of the idea of the country, or straight up support of the government. Either way, dumb saying and the US government is corrupt af no matter who is charge.
That's why movies are a problem, because they're propaganda
CIA Agent: "Stay Down, Final Warning."
Fidel Castro: "I Can do this all day."
Dude, fresh lemons, fresh ginger, and herbal tea and keep making these pun-packed videos
Nah, youre both wrong. Vodka. Lots of it.
"The only thing the USA hates more than a healthy diet"🤣🤣
Hahahaha 🤣🤣🤣
Lmao 😂😂
Well, with Castro's regime you did loose weight
This is the “One Joke” for capitalists completely uneducated in socialism but what they’ve heard through American media in the same way the Attack Helicopter joke is the One Joke for transphobes
@@chompythebeast reddit moment
As tumblr user "lesbianshepard" described it:
"It's a little known fact that in the 60s and 70s the CIA was actually run by wile e coyote"
The CIA took the Road Runner to another level.
The only thing in which CIA was better than KGB was “FAILING IN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPS” 😂
😂😂😂😂
Oof, good one!
KGB attempts on Tito: 22 (all failed)
CIA attempts on Castro: 638 (same as above)
My bad if there's someone that the KGB has tried to kill more than Tito.
@@michellesheppard9253 Tito replied to Stalin and said “Stop sending people to kill me. We’ve already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle. If you don’t stop sending killers, I’ll send one to Moscow, and I won’t have to send a second.”
Also, that wasn't KGB which attempted Assassinations on Tito, it was NKVD.
Imagine being the guy trying to kill castro but in the end u end up dying of old age before Castro
America: Coyote and ACME corp.
Cuba: Roadrunner
Prediction: the video will say that the CIA should have used skillshare
Edit: Disliked because it missed that golden opportunity
*prediction: the sponsor is any vpn providers
FTFY
@@tmfan3888 he literally said the sponsor at the beginning of the video
@@anselmschueler ofc i know, i mean he should guess the sponsor 2 b vpn providers b4 clickin the vid cos the title is there...
@@tmfan3888 I made this comment just after I found out it was sponsored by skillshare
Imagine disliking a video not because the video is poor quality but because he didn't make a shitty joke about a sponsor.
Remember when he fought off zombies in the Pentagon with JFK, Nixon and McNamara?
Black Ops 1 Reference
That’s a lot of “mission failed, we’ll get em next time”
"In the end, Castro died--"
So, what you're saying is that CIA succeeded.
They now have successfully failed at killing him
USA: i see this as a strategic win
Mission Failed ✅
It seems they finally decided to blackmail God into killing Castro
They hired time itself to do the job xD
I can confirm the poorly written jokes part is true.
Woah! A new SkillShare logo! This is a change in my routine I don't think I can handle...
HAI: *Starts sponsor*
Me: Ight, imma head out.
How many stock images do you want?
Half as interesting: *yes*
"this video is sponsored by skillshare"
curiosity stream: *visible confusion*
The Cleveland Browns joke hit real hard
Harder than the Browns on Sunday
I believe the roadrunner and coyote was based on CIA attempts on Fidel Castro
*BEEP BEEP*
*Zoom*
Now thats some bigbrain
Being bad at assassination is probably the most positive thing Ive heard about the CIA.
That legend survived 638 attempts and here I am... almost choked on my own saliva while sleeping.
At a certain point in this failed attempts, the Cuban gov't had to be like "Awwww, you almost got'em better luck like time!" or "You know what, the plans for this attempt will go right up on the fridge, you're kid tried his best..."
I mean, that was basically Castro's personal reaction to most of the attempts that were discovered.
The CIA is the greatest spy service!
Ana Montes and Castro: *laughes*
0:48 BaStista? Already looking forward for this year's mistakes video 😜😘
Fun Fact: One of Castro's Assassins (Ilona Marita Lorenz) later on had an affair with Castro after Castro himself found her out.
Reminds me of Fidel’s episode on The Simpsons, he claimed they named a street after him in San Francisco. Homer checked off that he was there to assassinate Castro
Reminds me of Discworld, when Death goes on vacation and saves that guy whose drowning (and wanted to die). When the guy asks him why he saved him, Death responds:
FOR LATER
Wasn't there also attempts to try and ruin Castro's image, like powder that would cause his hair to fall out and thus no longer be known as "The beard"
Well, he already was a deranged murderous dictator, there wasn't much of an image to destroy.
@@gnualmafuerte
The people at the time loved him more than the other guy and the CIA figured that Castro's beard was rather iconic...
I mean would you recognise Che Guevara without his distinctive beard? Or Abraham Lincoln?
There certainly was an image to destroy and revolutionary leaders kinda need that image...
@@stylesrj People were scared shitless of him, it's not the same thing. Ernesto Guevara was already executing dissidents.
@@gnualmafuerte
The point is that the CIA figured that there were many ways to kill Castro besides trying to actually kill him.
Destroying his image was one of them and one such way was powder that would cause hair loss because the CIA obviously has a division of highschoolers who'd come up with all sorts of wacky pranks...
@@gnualmafuerte lol sure pal, you sure know what you are talking about huh
Castro: I won’t die until America is destroyed
Trump: *is elected*
Castro: *Dies*
Watch his SOTU speech, you guys have it going good unlike us in the UK.
Rip Curl 69 id rather have trump as king of USA than having the liberals tske full control like the UK. Too much of each side is the end, but the left already showed how bad they’ll fuck it up in Europe
James Morris what? you think Boris Johnson is a liberal lmfao
There aren't many good candidates for this election.
Bernie looks like he'll keel over at any moment
Warren likes to pretend that she's native american
Biden is just full on senile; in an interview. He was asked by a woman of color what he would do if she was his daughter and got pulled over. His response was "Firstly, if you where my daughter you would be Caucasian, and you wouldn't be pulled over."
Americans "why do you care about our politics so much"
Me looking at all the destabilise countries, toppled democracies and installed brutal dictatorships around the world.
O I L
We aren't the only ones to do that you know. Ukraine is a case and point.
@@finitewehosh6542 not the only one but by far the worst
Indonesia, Iraq, Afghanistan too
Btw UA-cam isnt accepting some of my comments and replies which write about History. (also kind of anti-British but with reasons and 100% facts. I was writing about colonization) It shows an error when I still write the comment and try to post it
I just love this type of humor. This is the best humor you can get at the entire planet. It's ridiculous, making serious things sounds like it was pitty. I just love it :-)
You forgot the last part of the classic story, girl dies in tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
"Goodyear?" "No, the worst."
This is the perfect way to study for my exam on Wednesday about the Cold War
You never know. 639th time could’ve been the successful attempt. Never surrender.
Cia: I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling communist.
"Controversial"
that's a great word to use when those in power want to decide what is true
Castro: Dies
CIA: I see this as an absolute win!
Gusano: We’ll kill him this time
Castro: Am I a joke to you
If the CIA has taught me anything, it's to never give up on your goals.
vaaz's voice in the distance: Have i told you, the definition of insanity?
oof if only you spelled vaas correctly
@@davidbalyan well, never saw it written.... i just played the game, i didnt geek out over it..
@@Fede_uyz did u like the game?
@@davidbalyan a lot in fact, I replayed it a few times back to back. Loved taking outposts in different ways
@@federicoolivares8251 same. it's my favorite game. the story is better than any other.
CIA wanted him dead because he was so handsome more than all them demons combined.
If it wouldn't happened in real life, then if someone would make a plot for a film with it, it will be considered as absurd
You know, Castro wasn’t that bad in the end. He might’ve been a little dictatory in his youth, but died a charming old man. He could’ve been your grandpa or something.
Some terrorists end their life as a statesman, and some statesmen end their life as terrorists.
Mf ya know Mengele?
The CIA is literally Plankton trying to get the Krabby Patty formula.
The jokes are literally hidden so well you laugh when you come over it.
This man is flipping off the CIA and the grim reaper at the same time tbh
“You are being hunted down by the CIA. What do you do?”
Me: “Oh no! Anyways.”
You know, when my boss had to talk to me about when I've failed for the 600th time, he didn't because he fired me long before that.
These jokes are fantastic. Thanks for the much needed laughs and info.
The writing in this channel is really really really clever. I enjoy it so much!
So basically 2% attempts, 98% ideas, calling them attempts if they never left the planning phase is disingenuous.
Finally. I thought more people would have been commenting about this. Only 1 of the 7 "assassination attempts" that were detailed was an actual failed attempt. Even that one is hard to call an attempt. The waiter spilled the poison, so the attempt couldn't be made.
CIA: tries to kill Castro over 600 times
Castro: is a chad and dies a natural death
4:59 don't you hate it when a rare mob despawns
agrre
I’m from Cleveland and I absolutely lost it with his reference to total absolute failure being almost as bad as the Cleveland Browns. Love my Browns but we deserve this ridicule after the seasons we have been playing.
I also live in ohio and loved it
I too am a Clevelaneer
Washington Generals (Harlem Globetrotters reference) would have been a good choice, as well.
you mention his hats but not the absolutely baller adidas tracksuits castro wore later in life?
Fidel Castro basically had real life plot armor.
the dry humor/interesting info combo of this channel is fucking phenomenal
I remember this guy, pretty pissed off at him.
CIA: *tries to kill Castro*
Natural causes: Ok my tern!
That hat joke was hilarious. Literally LOLed
Amazing, informative, and wonderful. My life was changed from this video.
wow what a great video
i learned so much thank you HAI!
this video cured all my addictions
i love you HAI