THE GREATEST BRIEF EVER FILED

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 6 тис.

  • @LegalEagle
    @LegalEagle  2 роки тому +2009

    ⚖ Should Novak win?
    ☕ Find out on Morning Brew for free: legaleagle.link/morningbrew

    • @osmosisjones4912
      @osmosisjones4912 2 роки тому

      The guy who has Paul pelosi captive also believed left wing conspiracy stories like systemic racism and was pro drug .
      Maybe college educated .
      The guy who tried to kill Brett kavaghan only believed left wing conspiracy theories and definitely was college educated

    • @gladlawson61
      @gladlawson61 2 роки тому

      @@brandonelston1969 if he can be prosecuted then fox pundits should be prosecuted too

    • @ryanedwards7487
      @ryanedwards7487 2 роки тому

      This brief is probably too cerebral and free thinking for 5/9ths of the court. As much as they extol their belief in the constitution, they prove they don’t believe it.

    • @bobsterclause342
      @bobsterclause342 2 роки тому +9

      EYbrows of i'm clearly holding back laughs

    • @bsadewitz
      @bsadewitz 2 роки тому +32

      Yes. Although winning isn't everything, sometimes winning is everything.
      BTW, I think I saw a citation of Buckley v. Valeo in there as it flashed on screen. I'm intensely curious as to why. I'd find the text and read it myself, but I doubt I have the legal knowledge to get the joke. I'd be stoked if you'd explain it.

  • @claire2088
    @claire2088 2 роки тому +3708

    This is actually iconic, I love how the onion randomly pops up from time to time just to hit us all in the face with some surprisingly on point parody. so many layers of hilarity here

    • @EmptyZoo393
      @EmptyZoo393 2 роки тому +116

      Peter Schickele has mentioned that his P.D.Q. Bach parodies of classical music wouldn't be nearly as funny if all the musicians weren't so good at playing. It really works best when everything is right on target except for the one ridiculous thing.

    • @geolykt
      @geolykt 2 роки тому +36

      Yeah, I thought the Onion was dead, so when I started watched the video I thought it was talking about a long-gone thing. But apparently not

    • @Boooozle
      @Boooozle 2 роки тому +38

      Reality is so crazy now they may have to up their game to keep up with the ridiculousness

    • @casedistorted
      @casedistorted 2 роки тому +9

      God, I miss them being stationed here in Madison, WI. They may still be here but they were iconic in the 90's and 2000's.

    • @jjoohhhnn
      @jjoohhhnn 2 роки тому +18

      They're freakishly good at predicting the future.

  • @MrARock001
    @MrARock001 2 роки тому +11560

    "They searched for a crime to fit the situation..." is a chilling off-the-cuff remark.

    • @gsteixner
      @gsteixner 2 роки тому +702

      "It only takes a few bad apples to ruin the bunch." and they are all rotten to the core.

    • @MrARock001
      @MrARock001 2 роки тому +953

      @@gsteixner It's so ironic that most defensive uses of that aphorism really do miss the point of it. PDs will jump out and say "it's only a few bad apples!" when discussing corrupt or criminal behaviour of individual cops who actually get caught. Of course, as you point out, the full aphorism goes: "A few bad apples spoil the bunch." Which was originally an observation that leaving a few rotting fruits in the same bunch as ripe ones leads them all to quickly rot (which, it turns out is a cool function of fruit biology involving ethylene). Thus, finding "a few bad apples" is really an indictment that the whole bunch is likely rotten or soon to be so.

    • @dionh70
      @dionh70 2 роки тому +146

      I'm really hoping that you're not just NOW realizing that this police modus operandi (method of operating) occurs, because it has absolutely been the de facto (in effect) standard for law enforcement nearly everywhere in this nation for decades.

    • @MrARock001
      @MrARock001 2 роки тому +268

      @@dionh70 not at all. It's just the host's casual use of the line that makes it distubingly clear how ubiquitous it is.

    • @kiraina25
      @kiraina25 2 роки тому +191

      ​@@MrARock001 Generally, if a farmer found that many bad apples in their crop, I would expect that farmer to be searching very carefully for signs of the trees being blighted.

  • @freddogrosso9835
    @freddogrosso9835 2 роки тому +7476

    "We no crime". Words to live by.

    • @TimoRutanen
      @TimoRutanen 2 роки тому +198

      It's even more hilarious if the original was 'We know crime'. I don't know if it was, and doubt it, but wouldn't that be great.

    • @robertgaudet7407
      @robertgaudet7407 2 роки тому +50

      Preserve and collect!

    • @harbingerdawn
      @harbingerdawn 2 роки тому +87

      I'd have gone with "We no justice"

    • @Jpturlax01
      @Jpturlax01 Рік тому +39

      @@harbingerdawn yeah, but it'd have brought down the funny aspect by hitting too close to reality at that point :/

    • @douggale5962
      @douggale5962 Рік тому +12

      Every police slogan should be, "Can I see your ID?"

  • @SaintSaint
    @SaintSaint Рік тому +8062

    People should know that the Supreme Court denied hearing Novak's case Feb 2023. "Feb 21 2023 Petition DENIED." That's it. Justice died early this time. "like" this even if you don't like it so other people know.

    • @SullySadface
      @SullySadface Рік тому +138

      Bummer

    • @cyjanek7818
      @cyjanek7818 Рік тому +493

      Damn, that's actually very sad, case sounds so ridiculous it might be funny but someone life is actually damaged

    • @shryko
      @shryko Рік тому +22

      Sadge. :'(

    • @marcpeterson1092
      @marcpeterson1092 Рік тому +418

      Somebody offered Thomas a free vacation. That's why they voted against it.

    • @jack42011
      @jack42011 Рік тому +15

      sad, Thanks

  • @penname8441
    @penname8441 2 роки тому +9003

    This entire case feels like the cops got mad for being made fun of and are just taking it out on the dude however they can

    • @JohnSmith-kc6ov
      @JohnSmith-kc6ov 2 роки тому +955

      it's transparently obvious it's just nobody wants to say it

    • @kungfuskull
      @kungfuskull 2 роки тому +352

      @@JohnSmith-kc6ov i want to say it 😡

    • @pas9ify
      @pas9ify 2 роки тому +744

      My former brother-in-law is a cop. Like most cops I've known, he is a very big baby and a snowflake beyond all measure.
      Scary that these fellows are given guns.

    • @ooooneeee
      @ooooneeee 2 роки тому +158

      I bet the parodist thought this could happen. If the Parma police lose this at the suspense court the whole country will make fun of them forever.

    • @graviticbylaws
      @graviticbylaws 2 роки тому +183

      Cited for Contempt of Cop

  • @SGTRandyB
    @SGTRandyB 2 роки тому +4201

    “Ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law.” -Police
    “I didn’t know I couldn’t do that.” -Also Police.

    • @muchotexto4248
      @muchotexto4248 Рік тому +59

      i didn kno the lah was chill like dat

    • @inyobill
      @inyobill Рік тому +7

      Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ...

    • @AnjinThomas
      @AnjinThomas Рік тому +7

      That has to be Deputy Superintendent Chip

    • @JonLikes2Jam
      @JonLikes2Jam 9 місяців тому +4

      me and chip were driving see? now im not driving chip is driving and hes driving a little crazy

    • @kairotox
      @kairotox 8 місяців тому +44

      “Ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law.” -Police to the people not required in their job description to know the law.
      “I didn’t know I couldn’t do that.” -Also Police, the people required in their job descriptions to know the law.
      Just a slight adjustment there.
      Honestly, makes it even more pathetic.

  • @robertstewart9658
    @robertstewart9658 Рік тому +14824

    I was an English teacher. We studied "A Modest Proposal." A few days later a parent lodged a protest that I was teaching cannibalism. I have seen The Onion's power first hand.

    • @ieatbananaskins7926
      @ieatbananaskins7926 Рік тому +821

      I am irish and big into history. Let me tell you that Swift was not too off considering Trevelyans' laissez-faire attitude

    • @aeoifjapefijl
      @aeoifjapefijl Рік тому +35

      Haha!

    • @lina9535
      @lina9535 Рік тому +284

      I must have completely glossed over anything in "A Modest Proposal" that could have been taken as anything to do with cannibalism.
      Then again, I can be pretty stupid 🤔

    • @robertstewart9658
      @robertstewart9658 Рік тому

      @@lina9535 Swifts modest proposal is that lower class parents sell their "excess" offspring to the rich as a food source. The parent in question fell right into Swift's satire since he fully believed we were pushing cannibalism. Ain't people grand?

    • @GSBarlev
      @GSBarlev Рік тому +391

      I lost respect for quite a few of my AP English classmates the day after our teacher assigned us "A Modest Proposal" for homework reading.
      Of course a few weeks later we got an (unlabeled) essay that I completely read as serious and proceeded to participate straight-faced in a discussion about until one student (who incidentally was my high school crush) interrupted us all to say, "Guys, it's David Sedaris."

  • @Fanimati0n
    @Fanimati0n Рік тому +3962

    "Ignorance isn't a defense unless you're a cop" is terrifying & a perfect example of why we don't trust them

    • @inyobill
      @inyobill Рік тому +127

      This comment has been repeated several times in the comments. As it well deserves to be. It could not be repeated too often.

    • @Neurotik51
      @Neurotik51 Рік тому +4

      you don't trust them

    • @methamphetamememcmeth3422
      @methamphetamememcmeth3422 Рік тому +88

      ​@@Neurotik51 we don't trust them, or you

    • @Iscariot-ef4ns
      @Iscariot-ef4ns 11 місяців тому +92

      ​@@Neurotik51only boot lickers trust the boot that crushes

    • @alexread6767
      @alexread6767 11 місяців тому +29

      ​@@Neurotik51You, plural, referring to every decent human. Way to call yourself out...

  • @mikel6989
    @mikel6989 Рік тому +1967

    They were mad that they got eleven phone calls and "tied up a bunch of their time". Wonder how much time they spent raiding his house, doing surveillance, trying to figure out what to charge him with, taking up a magistrates time and the list goes on. Violate someones rights then hide behind qualified immunity. What an absolute joke. Disband the entire department.

    • @f_USAF-Lt.G
      @f_USAF-Lt.G Рік тому +15

      Time table argument should be strong... But, it complains about their process and not about how long they were gullible to stay on the phone to explain something (but still should be made part of the case)

    • @eaglebauersrecordcollection
      @eaglebauersrecordcollection 9 місяців тому +21

      I’ve been in dispatch for about 25 years. We are quite often a lot busier than any police officer and to be fair, you’re kind of comparing apples and oranges. A house raid and the legal behind the scenes stuff going on isn’t drawing any availability of first responders from the general public while tying up a communications center actually can. I think that’s the argument they made…but also to be fair…eleven phone calls isn’t a big deal and probably didn’t really make a dent.
      I get what you’re saying and I agree it was a waste of taxpayer money and time on the part of the city though.

    • @JWQweqOPDH
      @JWQweqOPDH 8 місяців тому +50

      @@eaglebauersrecordcollection How are the phone calls going to tie up first responders? Nobody should be calling 911 about a strange non-threatening Facebook post. They should be calling the police department's regular phone line. Fine the people making 911 calls they have no reason for.

    • @fomori2
      @fomori2 5 місяців тому +4

      @@JWQweqOPDH This just goes to show you how prevalent "you are dumb" people are in society, even in jobs, such as emergency dispatch, where we prefer them not to be dumb.

    • @adamnevraumont4027
      @adamnevraumont4027 4 місяці тому +16

      ​@@eaglebauersrecordcollectionThat raid cost a lot more police resources than the 11 phone calls did. Those that proposed and ordered it are more guilty of the crime Novak was arrested for than he was.

  • @ChefBuckeye
    @ChefBuckeye Рік тому +3294

    Got to give The Onion credit for finding a legal team that would make it sound like they made up the names of their legal team.

    • @roberthelmsen6961
      @roberthelmsen6961 Рік тому +436

      It also helps that their profile pictures look like AI generated art that you would get by typing in, “white lawyer-y guy in a suit.”

    • @realdragon
      @realdragon Рік тому +122

      @@roberthelmsen6961 Parody all the way down

    • @thilsiktonix
      @thilsiktonix 9 місяців тому +39

      😂😂😂 Absolute chads in every way.

    • @gigmaresh8772
      @gigmaresh8772 6 місяців тому +48

      Once upon a time my attorney was Mr. Swindle of Salt Lake City.
      And yes, I chose him because of his name 😅😅

    • @l.d.t.6327
      @l.d.t.6327 3 місяці тому +3

      names are Dutch, so probably descendants of Dutch immigrants.

  • @noahdoss1967
    @noahdoss1967 2 роки тому +11574

    I love the irony of qualified immunity being the exact flip side of the “ignorance of the law is no defense” coin. Wait, no, actually I hate it

    • @kungfuskull
      @kungfuskull 2 роки тому +684

      Yeah it *really* needs to be struck down ASAP. 😕

    • @JoshSweetvale
      @JoshSweetvale 2 роки тому +193

      Life's a sadist's paradise.
      Enjoy the pain of strangers and the joy of friends.

    • @CesarDaSalad
      @CesarDaSalad 2 роки тому +619

      Imagine approving a law that by its very nature allows people to violate constitutional rights. 🤦

    • @gi0nbecell
      @gi0nbecell 2 роки тому +317

      In any country with somewhat reasonable laws (and a police force with proper training and education instead of handing every idiot a badge and a gun after completing - not understanding, just completing - a 4h crash course) there is no qualified immunity. There is also no such thing as „give me 100m Dollars because you violated my rights“-lawsuits. In Germany, for instance, it is simply: If a police officer violates the law, not necessarily the constitution, they will be prosecuted criminally for violation of the StGB (penal code) and/or various other regulations (for instance, the police and ordinance litigation is regulated on state level due to the federal system, and every state has its own PolG or Polizeigesetz, police code). The possibilities in civil court are also restricted to the actual damage caused, and punitive damages don’t exist (especially not in those absurd sums, but there can be a compensation for pain or emotional damages that can’t be calculated exactly). Ah, and if a police officer is convicted of a felony, either above a certain threshold or especially in conjunction and violation of his official duties, he/she will be removed from service, likely lose his status as public servant, lose his pension and other benefits of state officials (the years served will be counted for the retirement pay by the respective social security insurance, part of the German social insurance system, btw).
      The main difference is the status of the constitution: The Grundgesetz, the German constitution in less a solitary document that is referred to separately (although this is possible). Generally, it is the base and background of all German laws, but referring directly to a violation of the constitution is way harder and in most circumstances not necessary, because there are likely laws covering that aspect without directly appealing to the Federal Constitutional Court - BVerfG, Bundesverfassungsgericht.
      Keep in mind that I‘m no lawyer and that the system is way more complex than I can explain in a comment. But in general, that should be correct enough to give you an idea.

    • @monsterinhead214
      @monsterinhead214 2 роки тому +464

      It seems obvious to me that people who hold the authority of a public office should be held to a higher standard than ordinary citizens. Not excused.

  • @botondhetyey159
    @botondhetyey159 Рік тому +817

    It's kinda funny how the police department has to argue that a post about hiring convicted pedophiles as police officers, and another one about not hiring PoC are close enough to the truth, that a reasonable person wouldn't neccessarily understand it as parody.

    • @f_USAF-Lt.G
      @f_USAF-Lt.G Рік тому +17

      You mean...🤔 kinda funny how it's not funny that all their funny business is made funny by someone else?
      Or do you mean:
      Funny how something funny about things not so funny shows the funny business?

    • @siebebos
      @siebebos Рік тому +2

      Underrated comment

    • @MrMoustacheish
      @MrMoustacheish 10 місяців тому +3

      The irony

    • @jeremytitus9519
      @jeremytitus9519 10 місяців тому +1

      @@f_USAF-Lt.G…….yes?

    • @gathorall9136
      @gathorall9136 9 місяців тому +12

      And The Supreme Court agreed, so they seem to have apretty low opinion of The Executive Branch.

  • @loustancu3480
    @loustancu3480 Рік тому +5969

    Parodist: "lol this department is racist and incompetent as HELL"
    The actual department: "This is too close to the truth to be allowed!"

    • @djbabidadi2545
      @djbabidadi2545 Рік тому

      This is the perfect example of how bad American policing has become. Someone points out the obvious in a public forum and the police have to pursue legislation to prevent people from recognizing the truth. If you are not pushing copaganda YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE STATE. Do you get it yet?

    • @Terrorrai1
      @Terrorrai1 Рік тому +127

      this includes the whole supreme court

    • @chompythebeast
      @chompythebeast Рік тому

      When "a few bad apples" doesn't cut it, just arrest those who call you out and say it was because they impeded the police's work carrying out systemic racism

    • @shryko
      @shryko Рік тому +41

      it's supposed to be "speak truth to power". We're powerless, WHY ARE YOU TELLING IT TO US?!?!? :P

    • @jacobp8294
      @jacobp8294 10 місяців тому

      ​@@shrykoyou are dumb

  • @Nulono
    @Nulono 2 роки тому +4253

    A small correction: _A Modest Proposal_ didn't suggest that the poor should eat their _own_ babies; it suggested that they should _sell_ their babies to the rich as food.

    • @emilysmith2965
      @emilysmith2965 Рік тому +160

      Even worse! 😃
      I love that essay. It is so good

    • @kimgkomg
      @kimgkomg Рік тому +205

      I've seen similar, real arguments used for why it should be legal for poor people to sell their internal organs

    • @MrMrtvozornik
      @MrMrtvozornik Рік тому

      @@kimgkomg But that's already legal, not much is stopping you from selling your kidney if you decide you're poor enough and could do with one organ less. I think the difference is that here it's not the choice of the person selling, such as kids. So you probably mean you've heard real arguments used for why should OTHERS have legality in selling poor people's internal organs. Why shouldn't you have the right to sell off your own organs? You're the only one with legality to donate them to research facilities or museums too, it follows the same logic.

    • @Foolish188
      @Foolish188 Рік тому

      ​@@kimgkomg Better than China executing ethnic minorities so they can sell their organs.

    • @brianholmes1812
      @brianholmes1812 Рік тому +37

      Ah ok, that's way more reasonable. lets give it a go!

  • @cadea7578
    @cadea7578 2 роки тому +8698

    The idea that 'ignorance is not a defence' other than for cops who don't know basic civil rights is so unbelievable it deserves to stay on the onion

    • @mindlessreader1595
      @mindlessreader1595 Рік тому +700

      Yeah, you’d think out of everyone, the people whose jobs it is to enforce the law wouldn’t be able to get away with being ignorant of it

    • @komenisai
      @komenisai Рік тому +534

      That’s a great point. If I break a law I don’t know about, I’m still held responsible. Why shouldn’t the cops?

    • @Eliastion
      @Eliastion Рік тому

      @@komenisai Because... USA, I guess. I always find it interesting how US law seems to be a mixture of laws protecting people from the police (seemingly under assumption that policemen are ill-intentioned crooks that can't be trusted) and others protecting the policemen regardless of what they do (ensuring that the police won't suffer any real consequences for being ill-intentioned crooks that can't be trusted).

    • @jonboze7314
      @jonboze7314 Рік тому +152

      I was just about to say, I thought ignorance of the law doesn't exclude you from it.

    • @neilkurzman4907
      @neilkurzman4907 Рік тому +116

      @@jonboze7314
      It depends on the law.
      Some laws require you to know that you’re breaking the law. But yes, most don’t require intent.

  • @sands7779
    @sands7779 Рік тому +813

    on Feb 21 2023, the U.S. Extreme Court refused to hear the appeal from Anthony Novak, who was jailed for four days and charged with a felony for making a satirical Facebook page of his local police department. This leaves in place the lower court ruling that shielded the police officers and the city of Parma, Ohio from legal liability for their actions. Antidote: mock them more.

    • @kingace6186
      @kingace6186 Рік тому

      The Roberts Court is just as bad as Parma PD.

    • @fatfr0g570
      @fatfr0g570 Рік тому +21

      On it

    • @EscapeCondition
      @EscapeCondition Рік тому +53

      The white flight mentioned in this video was enacted in key areas being "overrun" by black people specifically so that they could create areas like Parma that are immune to change and criticism. It was remarkably effective and also decimated the areas they left so that they could then point to those areas as being proof of the failure of diversity.

    • @wildfire9280
      @wildfire9280 Рік тому +28

      @@EscapeCondition With the results we’ve produced it feels like our country is still run by ardent segregationists.

    • @EscapeCondition
      @EscapeCondition Рік тому

      @@wildfire9280 I mean Joe Biden is one of them, his crime policies (in particular the crack discrepancy legislation) were designed to strictly enforce segregation.
      Trump's another. So our election is going to be choosing between the least offensive segregationist.

  • @Googledybunker
    @Googledybunker 2 роки тому +4694

    Searched for a crime to fit the circumstances. That's the most fitting description of most current law enforcement.

    • @penname8441
      @penname8441 2 роки тому +18

      +

    • @IceMaverick13
      @IceMaverick13 2 роки тому

      "He can't do that! Shoot him or something!"

    • @gsteixner
      @gsteixner 2 роки тому +200

      "It only takes a few bad apples to ruin the bunch." and they are all rotten to the core.

    • @MercenaryMuse
      @MercenaryMuse 2 роки тому

      It is VERY difficult to respect the law or law enforcement because of this common practice: use the law to punish things we don't like. The law serves power, NOT justice, nor the citizenry. I feel bad for lawyers. It isn't their fault the entire judicial system is rigged to ensure unfair practices of compliance and submission to authority,

    • @MrKrawby
      @MrKrawby 2 роки тому +22

      you can disagree that what the guy did wasn't "disrupting public services", but isn't "search for a crime to fit the circumstances" literally how criminal prosecution is supposed to work

  • @censusgary
    @censusgary Рік тому +5746

    “How did Novak disrupt the Police Department?”
    By hurting its feelings, of course. I’ve seen enough police officers in action to know that they consider making fun of them a very serious crime.

    • @obeseperson
      @obeseperson Рік тому +442

      There’s so many videos freely available of cops attacking or arresting people just because they got their feelings hurt. Cops are some of the most sensitive I swear.

    • @daedalus6433
      @daedalus6433 Рік тому

      @@obeseperson High on power and believing they are over the law. Hence why qualified immunity should go and cops need at least 3 years of education on civil rights and the Constitution. Plus, get rid of the "us vs. them" shit.

    • @6770chiefs
      @6770chiefs Рік тому +151

      from the writings of Cartman, "Respect My Authority"

    • @KitKatHexe
      @KitKatHexe Рік тому +86

      @@6770chiefs *Authoriteh
      FTFY

    • @singletona082
      @singletona082 Рік тому +192

      Funny how often people screaming 'snowflake' and 'facts not feelings' seem to be the most hurt when they don't get hteir way.

  • @ClevelandRock
    @ClevelandRock 2 роки тому +4296

    I applaud the Onion for defending the time-honored Cleveland tradition of making fun of Parma.

    • @VanceWorldTravel
      @VanceWorldTravel 2 роки тому +136

      Every time the west side gets a bit to big for it's self, we have to remind them of Parma. Esat side may have crime and East Cleveland, but the west side has Parma.
      Of course, the Legal Eagle could make a video of what happens when almost an entire police department gets charged with felonies... like in East Cleveland... but that's not this video.

    • @xanatax1844
      @xanatax1844 2 роки тому +55

      I get the impression Parma has earned it.

    • @checkeredcheese
      @checkeredcheese 2 роки тому +17

      what's up with the red ss bolts on their badge?

    • @skinnie2838
      @skinnie2838 2 роки тому

      The onion is a left wing rag and hasnt been funny in years

    • @robertgaudet7407
      @robertgaudet7407 2 роки тому +5

      Ahhhhh. The mistake on the lake.

  • @martindjakovic7052
    @martindjakovic7052 Рік тому +414

    I can somewhat understand if the police department tried to sue him, but the fact that they raided his house and arrested him like some sort of drug lord is insane to me. Ironically, this type of story is EXACTLY something that would seem like a parody if it wasn't true - "SWAT team arrests man for making fun of them". This is the type of headline that you could see on The Onion, but unfortunately it is real life...

    • @Sephiroth144
      @Sephiroth144 7 місяців тому +10

      "Fear will keep them in line."

    • @MF-qf7bs
      @MF-qf7bs 4 місяці тому

      And the irony of that truth is lost on a lot of people. I find that un-funny.

    • @dowfreak7
      @dowfreak7 4 місяці тому +7

      See, that's what I CAN'T understand. That's how a child would act at being spurned in the schoolyard or on the playground. Not how an adult should think and most definitely not an adult that enters into a job with tremendous amount of power over others. It's the very furthest thing that should be on your mind, when your job is to ensure the safety of the people.
      Which apparently isn't even what police in the States are doing, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised at their overall not just incompetence, but actual petty malice.
      It'd be like becoming a firefighter and then just refusing to extinguish a house because the guy that lived there cut in line at the grocery store. And then suing that guy for arson.

    • @andrewbloom7694
      @andrewbloom7694 Місяць тому

      ​@Sephiroth144 And it never goes any better in real life than for the empire. Although sadly they don't blow up very often IRL lol

  • @IceMetalPunk
    @IceMetalPunk 2 роки тому +3923

    This is amazing. I think the entire thing can be summarized in a single sentence: That a court concluded a post about a "pedophile recruitment event" might be mistaken, by a reasonable reader, as a legitimate post by a police department is possibly the single greatest argument in favor of police reform the country has ever seen.

    • @normanclatcher
      @normanclatcher 2 роки тому +287

      Or the single greatest argument against critical literacy expectations in Ohio.
      Could've been a sting. Ya never know.

    • @AmBush2048
      @AmBush2048 2 роки тому +103

      It's satire doing what it's best at, critique

    • @IceMetalPunk
      @IceMetalPunk 2 роки тому +66

      @@normanclatcher Let's say it's about a sting... Then it's the most unsubtle sting possible, and would still indicate the department's ineptitude.

    • @normanclatcher
      @normanclatcher 2 роки тому +49

      @@IceMetalPunk ...And again, it's the Parma police department. If any locality _could_ inspire such an absolute _dearth_ of public confidence, it's this one.

    • @researchinbreeder
      @researchinbreeder 2 роки тому +32

      @@normanclatcher Which leads back to the original point of both the parody page and this comment thread: Parma PD *should* get its act together.

  • @IAmebAdger
    @IAmebAdger 2 роки тому +3004

    Here the Onion have explained in great detail how explaining the joke ruins the comedic value of it, yet this work is made infinitely funnier because they've so seriously explained it.

    • @anonymizationoverload9831
      @anonymizationoverload9831 Рік тому +241

      Their explanation of the explanation of jokes is a parody of people explaining jokes... parodyception

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 Рік тому +70

      The funny part is how the analysis points out the inanity of it’s own existence.

    • @SweetMeatTM
      @SweetMeatTM Рік тому +40

      seriously, when you have to explain shit like this the funny just comes full circle lol

    • @thegunn7526
      @thegunn7526 Рік тому +43

      only the onion could pull off such a feat

    • @Asphyr
      @Asphyr Рік тому +30

      I think the difference here is that the other party wants there to basically be a label upfront killing the joke, while the onion explains it on page hundred. Letting people in on the joke after they're already in on the joke doesn't kill the joke.

  • @kabobawsome
    @kabobawsome 2 роки тому +2221

    This is actually brilliant by the Onion, unironically. Brings huge amounts of attention to a case that would likely fly quietly under the radar, which is arguably doing more for the case than anything in the brief, even though the brief does make plenty of legitimate compelling arguments.

    • @jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491
      @jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491 2 роки тому

      the fascist "supremos" must be fuming at the idiot cops
      PERFECT WELCOME FOR JUSTICE KITANJI

    • @inkandesk
      @inkandesk 2 роки тому +106

      My only worry is the decrepit corpses on the Supreme Court don’t agree with them. The irony of disagreeing would of course just be plain comedy to anyone outside of the court

    • @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing
      @WindFireAllThatKindOfThing 2 роки тому

      I fear Fox News could rebrand in court themselves as Parodists, instead of 'entertainment'.
      Because sooner or later, their use of the word 'news' in their official title when they are anything but has a major Karmic debt that is overdue.
      I don't want them to have this as a legal out when the guillotine blade finally drops.

    • @temperededge
      @temperededge 2 роки тому +74

      @@inkandesk They don't even have to disagree. They could just decide not to take the case, shielding them from scrutiny.
      Much as I disliked the guy, Scalia would have been all over this case. So for those keeping score: decrepit SC corpses = 0, Actual corpse = 1.

    • @KingBobXVI
      @KingBobXVI 2 роки тому +51

      @@temperededge - Eh, Scalia I imagine would, at best, be mightily furrowing his brow but going along with whatever the GOP wanted anyway - in this case, establishing precedent that police (who are overwhelmingly right-wing and have a huge white-nationalist problem nation wide) can do literally whatever they want to retaliate against any form of criticism.

  • @kadenplays573
    @kadenplays573 Рік тому +203

    “Searched for a crime to fit the situation”
    That right there is the point where they should have been fired. On the spot, immediately. Not even a second thought. Someone that petty should not be in a position of power where they can ruin someone’s life over hurt feelings.

  • @MeteorologistScottC
    @MeteorologistScottC 2 роки тому +1873

    "The Police get away with committing crimes if they don't know they are committing a crime! " - I scream from my cell after I have been arrested and jailed for committing a crime I didn't know I was committing.

    • @l3g3ndarybanana
      @l3g3ndarybanana 2 роки тому +38

      Our judge dredd days are just over the horizon

    • @Yusuf-ke5iu
      @Yusuf-ke5iu 2 роки тому +5

      At least you have a phone in jail.

    • @theduckfromthejoke152
      @theduckfromthejoke152 2 роки тому +18

      I mean, this is the first thing we ever heard about Neil Brennan from Dave Chappelle when he was astounded that his white friend could get away with something by telling the cop I didn't know I could do that.. so either you didn't try telling the cop you didn't know you couldn't do that or you're a black person and in either case you should have known that you can't do that, just following the logic here! And what I mean by you should have known you can't do that is that you should have known you can't not say you didn't know that or be black!... It seems like there's a little bit of unbalanced outcome here I just can't put my white finger on it

    • @chitlitlah
      @chitlitlah 2 роки тому +4

      @@theduckfromthejoke152 Neil Brennan? Do you mean Chip?

    • @theduckfromthejoke152
      @theduckfromthejoke152 2 роки тому +3

      @@chitlitlah am I the only person who assumed that chip is neil? LOL I don't remember why but there's several clues in that special end other interactions... But I could just be like oh yeah it must have been Neil cuz he's that white dude... LOL like even if the story is made up, it's still Neil in the made-up story that's all I'm saying

  • @michaelk7007
    @michaelk7007 2 роки тому +1578

    I just want to comment that while working as a 911 dispatcher I got roughly 15 butt dials a day. One user was a repeat offender that would butt dial twice a day for over a year and our officers for the city they lived in advised they can't do a thing about it. Similarily, we had frequently flyer homes that would call us multiple times a day for various issues. And we also took complaints for public services after hours as all people advised that their complaint is an emergency. My favorite being a caller that would call to complain park lights were on past 9pm when they were supposed to be off. She called this in at 7pm every day for a week and even threatened to murder me a few times. Officers said nothing could be done. The dispatcher time is worthless in the opinion of cities and cops. The only exception I have seen for the agencies I have worked for were injured officers that covered as dispatchers in small areas. Their ego is fragile.

    • @SocktheWorm
      @SocktheWorm 2 роки тому +109

      My first phone was a brick phone, and if you pressed the 0 key (on the exposed, unprotectable keypad) a few times it would call 911. I stopped carrying it in my pocket after a week or two. Got tired of being called back by the dispatcher. ;)

    • @SchnauzerGal2500
      @SchnauzerGal2500 2 роки тому +87

      I remember when I started college, so many of us Freshmen would accidentally call 911! It was back when not many people had cell phones yet, and it was tricky to get the hang of the dorm phones. You had to dial 9 to get an outside line, and it was still when you had to dial a 1 to call a non local number. I think the local dispatchers were used to it!

    • @JohnW118
      @JohnW118 Рік тому

      @@SchnauzerGal2500 this is something programmed into PBX systems today and is required so people don't need to dial the outside-line code '9' when in a panic.
      Causes many 911 false calls; I worked in telecom for 25 years programming these things 'under orders' from above and it is now required by law since 2020 ('Kari's Law').

    • @Ikxi
      @Ikxi Рік тому

      @@rieaweer7459 Couldn't the dentist explain? xD

    • @fingerboxes
      @fingerboxes Рік тому +94

      I have exactly one story of a dispatcher being too over-eager at their job. My mom called 911 to ask how to smother a kitchen fire. The dispatcher was like "A FIRE?! Don't worry ma'am, help is on the way!" And my mom was like "What! No, I don't need a fire truck, just tell me what to do to smother it!" The dispatcher was like "Don't take chances! You should go wait outside for assistance." This was around when the fire truck drove over the bridge behind the house. We were at the bottom of a pretty long cul de sac so it took another minute or two for the fire truck to get there. They come rushing in to the house and ask where the fire is. My mom points to a pile of like three black macaroni noodles with a sad little spark sputtering out before dying. There were now more firemen in the house than pieces of burned macaroni. She pointed out to the firemen that in her defense, she DID tell the dispatcher not to send them. The lead fireman radioed the dispatcher and sarcastically commented on the great conflagration that she had been explicitly told did not need a fire truck and she was like "Do you need more help!? I'm sending more fire trucks!" The guy was like "NO I DON'T NEED MORE HELP! DO **NOT** SEND MORE FIRE TRUCKS!" The firemen advised my mom to get a fire extinguisher in case she ever needed it and left.

  • @rhos7143
    @rhos7143 2 роки тому +1879

    "The police then conducted a swat raid on Novak's home." That sentence sounds like it should be from a parody article titled "Police conduct swat raid on menace to society after menace assaults entire police department with posts".

    • @michaeldautry
      @michaeldautry 2 роки тому +15

      ☝🏻well said 👏🏻

    • @Abigart69
      @Abigart69 2 роки тому +9

      ☝🏻well said 👏🏻

    • @patu8010
      @patu8010 2 роки тому +7

      ☝🏻well said 👏🏻

    • @vigilantcosmicpenguin8721
      @vigilantcosmicpenguin8721 2 роки тому +147

      Police considered his words to be classified as a deadly weapon, citing the law that "the pen is mightier than the sword." The court disagreed on the grounds that, in fact, Novak was armed with a computer, not a pen, and the police department was armed with not a sword but a SWAT team.

    • @Twisted_Code
      @Twisted_Code 2 роки тому

      It reminds me somewhat of the criminal harassment tactic of "SWATsing". Main difference being that the idiots responsible are not calling it in over the phone using a hoax. They are conducting it.

  • @tophatowl6724
    @tophatowl6724 Рік тому +413

    For anyone watching this now and interested: The supreme court did not take the case and let the ruling of the lower court stand. This is concerning

    • @TDOPB
      @TDOPB Рік тому +1

      What'd you expect from 'em? They were chosen by the orange of whom we don't speak, so clearly the government > free speech.

    • @reginaldmustardbacon5866
      @reginaldmustardbacon5866 Рік тому +22

      uFUcuuccck that's chilling and sad

    • @enhancedgamer3649
      @enhancedgamer3649 Рік тому +1

      The Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade, if you think they actually care for civil rights you’d be sorely mistaken

    • @LeScratch89
      @LeScratch89 Рік тому +58

      Concerning but unsurprising.

    • @blixten2928
      @blixten2928 Рік тому +10

      Hell, I wish I didn't know that. That is awful.

  • @emblematicMedia
    @emblematicMedia 2 роки тому +1153

    "Novak can't help it if a magistrate judge and city attorney are closer to the lowest common denominator than the average reasonable reader" holy shit best burn ever

  • @frankbenham1745
    @frankbenham1745 2 роки тому +1038

    The case with Novak is a perfect example of the police not understanding how they appear to others. They're like, "We do so much good! Why don't you like us!?" Then someone posts something on the internet about them and it's "Let's bury them with the full weight of the legal system!" Which also included a swat raid, a few days in jail, and then a trial by jury. Excellent use of those funds' guys.
    Edit: I liked that Billy cameo

    • @lordfelidae4505
      @lordfelidae4505 Рік тому +75

      This is what they do. They don’t stop crime, that is nowhere in their job descriptions apparently.

    • @Rayvn7
      @Rayvn7 Рік тому +16

      The lawsuit should be at minimum a billion dollars (in addition to the money for things other then the SWAT), because comedy, nonviolent Internet posts of any kind, and owning a Facebook page are not valid reasons for a SEAT raid nor for confiscation or searching of any items/technology whatsoever, regardless of whether the post is illegal.

    • @fort809
      @fort809 Рік тому +59

      @@Rayvn7 the issue with this is that cops pay out lawsuits with *your money*. You can’t legally sue a cop or a precinct, you sue the city, which uses city tax dollars to fight the case. That’s why cops drag it out as long as possible and why they couldn’t care less about breaking the law and getting sued. Even if they lose a lawsuit, there are zero consequences since it’s not their money anyway

    • @arthurwintersight7868
      @arthurwintersight7868 Рік тому +52

      @@fort809 - That's why qualified immunity needs to go, and cops need to have liability insurance - because then those static police department budgets are suddenly squeezed by hikes on the insurance rates after one of their officers does something actionable.

    • @scottlemiere2024
      @scottlemiere2024 Рік тому +13

      It's not that they don't understand how they look, they don't care how they look because they know if it goes too far they can just shoot the person pissing them off and come up with an excuse later.

  • @nickmalachai2227
    @nickmalachai2227 2 роки тому +2943

    The phrase "looked for a crime to fit [the parody they didn't like]" should be the most dystopian component of this whole thing.
    And yet.

    • @liljimmy8248
      @liljimmy8248 Рік тому +83

      It’s okay, we just have to give the police departments a few more thousand dollars, they’re so close to solving crime!

    • @cowmann3555
      @cowmann3555 Рік тому +39

      ​@@liljimmy8248 another 1.9bil should help them get these darn criminals

    • @kempolar9768
      @kempolar9768 Рік тому +23

      Yeah that was my initial thought when I heard that said, "wait so they found something they didn't like and then went through a library to check if there was a crime they could pin on him?
      Not only does that show that the law officers just done know the law which is wild on its own, but they had enough spare time to try and assign someone a crime instead of watching for and stopping active crime.
      That sounds like an over-staffed and under-qualified department.

    • @nickmalachai2227
      @nickmalachai2227 Рік тому +15

      @@kempolar9768 "over-staffed and under-qualified" are the two best phrases to describe the US police system, followed by "over-funded," "hyper-aggressive" and "unhelpful"

    • @reverendsteveii
      @reverendsteveii Рік тому

      The police exist to manufacture criminality. If what you're doing isn't illegal, but they'd like you to be a criminal, there are an infinite number of ways to do that.

  • @gonzo26nix
    @gonzo26nix Рік тому +144

    In an Economics class in High School, we had to form groups and "create a business". We would need to detail how this business would make a profit, how it would be run, along with several other key details.
    My friends and I, being sarcastic jacka**es, created a business based off of 'A Modest Proposal'. Most of the people in the class had never read, or even heard, of it.. but the teacher.. the teacher LOVED IT. He let us go as far as we wanted. At the end of the assignment, our group had to stand before the entire class and give a speech on our business.. props/handouts/etc. As he sat in the back of the class attempting to stifle his laughter at the indignation of the other students.. we, my group and I, just went in deeper. I even added in bits from Soylent Green and any other dystopian movie or book.
    We received an 'A'.

    • @gigmaresh8772
      @gigmaresh8772 6 місяців тому +1

      Now get a copy of the movie Brazil

    • @lev7509
      @lev7509 4 місяці тому +1

      Sounds like my econ teacher :3

    • @Speed001
      @Speed001 3 місяці тому +1

      Abortion pizzaria?

  • @BlakeFaeMorton
    @BlakeFaeMorton 2 роки тому +1214

    You know it is bad when a lawyer is laying into a police department and not offering up a single qualifying statement such as "allegedly."

    • @Furry-ousNews
      @Furry-ousNews 2 роки тому +131

      Guess that's the one upside to the police doing the lawbreaking, they keep literal legal records of all their doings, something no smart criminal would do lol

    • @GaldirEonai
      @GaldirEonai 2 роки тому +44

      "Is you takin' notes on a criminal fuckin' conspiracy?" -Stringer Bell, The Wire

    • @pattygould8240
      @pattygould8240 2 роки тому +42

      "Alleged" just means unproven, he's talking about admissions made on the record.

    • @benthomason3307
      @benthomason3307 2 роки тому +2

      what're they gonna do, sure him?

    • @BlakeFaeMorton
      @BlakeFaeMorton 2 роки тому +43

      @@pattygould8240 That's kinda my point. Though, "Alleged" was merely an example of the general category of words to distance oneself from the information. Having very little of this type of language is much stronger rhetoric you don't often hear from a lawyer.

  • @RamzaBeoulves
    @RamzaBeoulves 2 роки тому +2488

    American police : arrest first,
    Figure out what law can justify the abuse later

    • @kx7500
      @kx7500 2 роки тому +117

      This is just all police to various degrees.

    • @AvinashSewpersadh
      @AvinashSewpersadh 2 роки тому +52

      *shoot

    • @Toto-95
      @Toto-95 2 роки тому +77

      @@kx7500 the US worse than most

    • @kx7500
      @kx7500 2 роки тому +29

      @@Toto-95 true, but I’m saying America is not super special at a fundamental level with their cops. They’re bad everywhere

    • @At0mix
      @At0mix 2 роки тому +90

      @@kx7500 Believe it or not, there exist parts of the world where independent investigations are actually independent and power-tripping shenanigans are called out and punished as a result, for the betterment of society. Checks and balances are crucial, and some places have arranged them appropriately. Police are not "bad everywhere".

  • @UncleKennysPlace
    @UncleKennysPlace 2 роки тому +1515

    As soon as prosecutors found out that "qualified" essentially means "blanket", they started to do things, such as going into peoples houses and taking their stuff.

    • @siknoz
      @siknoz 2 роки тому +200

      RIght? When I read that they took his "phone and computers" i was like ok sure, prolly has fb info, then said "and his gaming consoles"....wtf does an Xbox have to do with this? That's just next level pettiness.

    • @gregiep
      @gregiep 2 роки тому +27

      Prosecutors and judges actually don’t need qualified immunity. They have total immunity in these cases.

    • @ASpaceGhostFC2C
      @ASpaceGhostFC2C 2 роки тому +38

      Prosecutors? Do you mean maybe, police? Prosecutors don't enter people's homes as far as I know

    • @tatiana4050
      @tatiana4050 2 роки тому +22

      @@ASpaceGhostFC2C I think he means prosecutors in this case. Which was police as they were prosecution and the dude was the defense.

    • @Manavine
      @Manavine 2 роки тому +12

      qualified immunity isn't needed. They could have done it without giving a parody guy an actual case by calling civil forfeiture on his property.

  • @nairsheasterling9457
    @nairsheasterling9457 Рік тому +158

    Imagine trying to make someone a felon for making fun of them and hurting your feelings instead of trying to push back on messaging, or - heaven forbid - self-reflect. A gang of man-children with badges, if I've ever heard of it.

    • @f_USAF-Lt.G
      @f_USAF-Lt.G Рік тому +3

      There's a place near Philadelphia where police are almost all about that...

    • @NeonBeeCat
      @NeonBeeCat 7 місяців тому +2

      @@f_USAF-Lt.Gfrom better call saul

  • @Alargator
    @Alargator 2 роки тому +790

    "We no crime" had me giggling far too much.

    • @handlethesenutz
      @handlethesenutz 2 роки тому +62

      was listening to the video while driving and thought it was "we know crime" a statement that is correct, funny, and carries a couple implications for the reader to discern. we no crime is so much better.

    • @Stickmanzed
      @Stickmanzed 2 роки тому +33

      @@handlethesenutz I read it like "we no-crime", the latter being positioned as a verb. What a marvelous multi-function from only three words.

    • @joachimschoder
      @joachimschoder 2 роки тому +25

      This alone should have been a clear sign that it was a satire page. It obviously doesn't apply to the real police department.

    • @SunnyShuklathedoctor
      @SunnyShuklathedoctor 2 роки тому +5

      My brain slowly registered it while watching the video and I kept laughing throughout the video.

    • @chairwood
      @chairwood 2 роки тому +1

      pls explain :)?

  • @kellikuduk8433
    @kellikuduk8433 2 роки тому +2346

    "Jurisprudence fetishish gets off on technicality" is and always shall be the greatest headline ever written. Thank you, The Onion.

    • @odinfromcentr2
      @odinfromcentr2 2 роки тому +74

      Heh. Satire *and* double entendre. 😁

    • @kindlin
      @kindlin 2 роки тому +47

      That is also one of my favorite headlines.
      PS: The word you were looking for was: fetishist.

    • @asentientkyle-3932
      @asentientkyle-3932 2 роки тому +22

      They sell a shirt with that headline on it. I bought one :)

    • @_BangDroid_
      @_BangDroid_ 2 роки тому +4

      *Fetishist

    • @alexanderherzog3064
      @alexanderherzog3064 2 роки тому +3

      +2

  • @cmingle
    @cmingle 2 роки тому +1670

    As someone who was born and raised in Parma, you are spot on about everyone in Cleveland making fun of Parma.

    • @avacadomangobanana2588
      @avacadomangobanana2588 2 роки тому +60

      Thank you for your sacrifice

    • @daadepack1913
      @daadepack1913 2 роки тому +41

      as someone from cleveland, yeah💀

    • @marcialaboo3996
      @marcialaboo3996 2 роки тому +40

      I moved to Brooklyn just so I didn't have to live in Parma 😬

    • @MrDestroys
      @MrDestroys 2 роки тому +3

      Facts

    • @jimfixx123
      @jimfixx123 2 роки тому +6

      I live a stones throw from Parma in Newburgh Heights. Pink flamingos and chrome balls aside, I like Parma.

  • @lou5y
    @lou5y Рік тому +94

    "A hypothetical, reasonable officer."
    There's the word hypothetical doing enough heavy lifting to win a strongman contest.

    • @mentalisttraceur
      @mentalisttraceur Рік тому +11

      I think "reasonable" ended up winning that particular context. Must've been all the stretching it did that made the difference.

    • @princess_piles4762
      @princess_piles4762 6 місяців тому +1

      They’re on the same Olympic team 🏅

  • @patheddles4004
    @patheddles4004 Рік тому +4051

    - Cops thought this might have been illegal, at first glance: Yeah sure whatever
    - Cops thought it merited a SWAT raid: WTF mate
    - A court granted that warrant: WTF mate
    - The police confiscated his gaming consoles: WTF mate
    - Jury acquitted him: OK good, brief moment of sanity
    - Magistrate sided with the cops on balance of probability: WTF mate
    - Appellate court upheld that decision: WTF mate
    Hell of an indictment of the US judicial system, gotta say. An AP article about this case would be indistinguishable from Onion satire.

    • @joyeuse8524
      @joyeuse8524 Рік тому +322

      Agreed, this is what makes being a satirist harder these days, coming up with something stupid enough it can't be real (yet), when things more stupid than the past thing keep happening every day.

    • @soumajitsen1395
      @soumajitsen1395 Рік тому +91

      And now the Supreme Court denied Certiorari

    • @patheddles4004
      @patheddles4004 Рік тому +33

      @@soumajitsen1395 lovely.

    • @icecreamcat2476
      @icecreamcat2476 Рік тому +44

      Such a failure of the law.

    • @BonkusDonkusSplonkus
      @BonkusDonkusSplonkus Рік тому +198

      This is what happens when law enforcement are allowed to operate above the law as a paramilitary gang instead instead of as accountable public servants.

  • @johns1307
    @johns1307 2 роки тому +3837

    Parody page: "Hey all you pedos, we're ganna wipe your record and make you police officers!"
    Parma cops: "Thats wayyyyy to close to what we would actually post, this is illegal!"

    • @brnmcc01
      @brnmcc01 2 роки тому +70

      Defund the Parma PD! 🤣

    • @jmurray1110
      @jmurray1110 2 роки тому +81

      *abolish

    • @Skycrusher
      @Skycrusher Рік тому +30

      @@jmurray1110 *murder

    • @Kanner111
      @Kanner111 Рік тому +103

      This is *entirely* the problem here, in theory.
      The 'minorities are strongly encouraged to not apply' bit was 'parody', but also seems like genuine department unwritten policy. The 'joke' is simply in actually writing it out in full. Which IS pretty funny! But it's in no way absurd or, in fact, even faintly untrue. Which makes legally defining parody somewhat tricky.

    • @JoniWan77
      @JoniWan77 Рік тому +131

      @@Kanner111 It's actually a double-bind, though. If they acknowledge the parody to not be parody by virtue of being true, they would thereby also officially acknowledge how the PD is violating human rights. Hence the statement would not be defamatory anymore. This is actually what makes good satire: By its very nature it has very real consequences. This reminds me of a German satire show, which criticized the turkish president for misusing the German court system to silence any kind of criticism against him as defamatory. So they actually wrote a parody poem about him to show, what would actually be defamatory. The turkish president sued and in the whole aftermath the German chancellor at the time was forced to make a public statement about satire and art being protected by law and a law called "majesty defamation", which gave international head of states special rights to sue German people for defamation, was subsequently abolished.

  • @susanaltman5134
    @susanaltman5134 2 роки тому +674

    Recently there was a debate on qualified immunity on NPR. I learned that police officers who swiped valuables from a home they were investigating invoked qualified immunity when they brought up on charges. The more outrageous police behavior is, the less likely it is that there is a prior court case that can be used to hold it unconstitutional. Qualified immunity is a crock.

    • @lqr824
      @lqr824 2 роки тому +28

      the goal of the law is pretty good, I think. Literally nobody would be willing to take a job in govt without some form of this law. But I totally agree that the specifics of the law are not what the authors intended and it should be rewritten.

    • @ZandarKoad
      @ZandarKoad 2 роки тому +57

      The people who are operating under these laws have completely forgotten the purpose, intent, and spirit of the law. Those with the right intent need no written laws at all. Those will mal intent will need an ever-expanding ocean of new statutes to govern them.

    • @alexsis1778
      @alexsis1778 2 роки тому +43

      Its like the saying "You can get away with anything once as long as you're the first one to do it". Which is really not how immunity to prosecution should work for things that literally anyone should know is wrong. Which is apparent when anyone not a cop doing the same thing would be arrested.
      Also reminds me of that SR-71 story were they buzzed the tower at Sacramento Airport and after they landed their commanding officer came out and asked "do we have any regulations that say we can’t make approaches at Sacramento Airport?" to which the pilot replied "No sir." The CO then said "I want one on my desk at seven o’clock tomorrow morning."

    • @mlebrooks
      @mlebrooks 2 роки тому +15

      Qualified immunity isn't for crimes intentionally committed. It's like a good Samaritan law where if you try to do CPR but don't know what you're doing you don't get sued

    • @veraducks
      @veraducks 2 роки тому +63

      @@mlebrooks Except in practice it does end up being for crimes intentionally committed. That's kinda the crux of the issue.

  • @MindZye
    @MindZye Рік тому +81

    I've seen a lot of explanations of "qualified immunity" and it's only now that it clicked in my head: state and federal governments can abuse my constitutional rights, at least as long as no one else has complained about it before.

    • @J5L5M6
      @J5L5M6 11 місяців тому +11

      Yeah, it's akin to a handsy fratboy saying, "Whaa? All of the other girls liked it when I did it!" It's a disgusting precedent.

    • @mcawesome9705
      @mcawesome9705 24 дні тому

      for us citizens, breaking a law that they didn't know about is still illegal
      meanwhile for the us police, not only is it not illegal but even has its own name

  • @Sarsenwood
    @Sarsenwood Рік тому +490

    "Searched for a crime to fit the situation."
    Now doesn't that just about summarize the problem?

    • @OlderThanTime09
      @OlderThanTime09 Рік тому +7

      That line actually earned my subscription. Lol

    • @inafridge8573
      @inafridge8573 Рік тому +3

      Is it not illegal for it to be false? He didn't disrupt the police using technology.

    • @f_USAF-Lt.G
      @f_USAF-Lt.G Рік тому

      Only if you overanalyze by actually looking at it... (GOP defense of Trump in 2 impeachment trials)

    • @r.pizzamonkey7379
      @r.pizzamonkey7379 6 місяців тому

      @@inafridge8573 You can say things that are incorrect, that's not illegal. You could argue it's impersonation of a police official, but that has some pretty specific requirements. I think that was genuinely the best they could come up with.

  • @ZebraGER
    @ZebraGER Рік тому +1832

    My favourite Onion piece will always be on LGBT soldiers and how precious they are, over 10 years old at this point still gets a chuckle out of me

    • @thenickstrikebetter
      @thenickstrikebetter Рік тому +2

      One of my favorites is Putin Attempting to have Putin assassinate Putin

    • @amazinglynn
      @amazinglynn Рік тому +2

      My favorite was the pedo giving advice on how to make your kids less attractive 😂

    • @RetroGamerr1991
      @RetroGamerr1991 Рік тому +366

      "The equivalent of three Americans killed in Iraq today"

    • @coolgreenbug7551
      @coolgreenbug7551 Рік тому +102

      Although not politically hard hitting, my favorite and the thing that introduced me to the Onion is the Sony time vampire

    • @drilltotheheavens1695
      @drilltotheheavens1695 Рік тому +55

      Just watched it. Laughing through the whole thing. It’s very wholesome.

  • @ncalphawolf
    @ncalphawolf 2 роки тому +1631

    I personally owe quite a lot to The Onion. As a young teen I fell for one of it's articles and shared it to friends and family who immediately pointed out it was wrong. The level of embarrassment I felt for doing so taught me a very good lesson, never accept anything without first hearing it from other publications.

    • @pteechka1
      @pteechka1 2 роки тому +12

      I'm curious, do you remember the article?

    • @MusicfromMarrs
      @MusicfromMarrs 2 роки тому +36

      The Onion - not wrong: satire. Parody. Fiction for fun. So your friends and family weren’t helpful at all.

    • @cyan_2169
      @cyan_2169 2 роки тому +60

      That's not even the right lesson to take lol

    • @inkandesk
      @inkandesk 2 роки тому +45

      I personally live in awe of the onion. Their densely layered humor is so well made I almost never find myself reading their articles without laughing

    • @Estarile
      @Estarile 2 роки тому

      @@MusicfromMarrs I don't know about you, but if I accidently took a parody new story as actual news, I would find if very helpful if my friends and family pointed that out. Because, it would be wrong. Factually incorrect. Because its made up.

  • @EntermateStar
    @EntermateStar 2 місяці тому +8

    so i looked it up and the appeal was once again denied apparently, fantastic America

  • @havcola6983
    @havcola6983 2 роки тому +1054

    The way Devon called Qualified Immunity "Judicially Inventive" had some searing undertones. That's a backhanded compliment done right.

    • @mfaizsyahmi
      @mfaizsyahmi 2 роки тому +56

      Legal fiction proves lawyers write better fiction than literary writers.

    • @mrthingy9072
      @mrthingy9072 2 роки тому +76

      I've often wondered if "we" can have qualified immunity for things that no one ever told us was against the law - just like police officers. Like "I didn't know it was illegal to dump 40 tons of cow shit on the police chief's lawn! I was just trying to help him have a greener lawn! And if some of it oozed under his front door and fertilized the carpets on every floor, well I didn't know that was illegal either!"

    • @ElectroDFW
      @ElectroDFW 2 роки тому +62

      @@mrthingy9072 exactly! Violating Constitutional rights is a big thing cops should know not to do.
      It makes no sense that they could get away with it by claiming not to know, and if I didn't know that dressing up a goat in women's underwear and taking it on a little red wagon ride on a downtown sidewalk on a Sunday was against the law, I'd still be held liable for the 'offense'.

    • @NonsenseOblige
      @NonsenseOblige 2 роки тому +54

      There's literally a name for the legal doctrine of not excusing people for being unaware of the law: ignorantia juris non excusat. The fact that the US not only doesn't follow this, but specifically doesn't recognize that an officer of the law, as in someone who technically works as the active enforcer of law, can be considered not guilty for violating the constitution, the basest form of law out of which the rest of the legal code blooms, epitomizes the latent authoritarianism of the US and it's institutions.

    • @russellmoore8187
      @russellmoore8187 2 роки тому +26

      Pretty sure he said “judicially inventED”, because it arose out of a SCOTUS ruling rather than being passed as a law by a legislature. Pierson v Ray, I believe.

  • @patriciabristow-johnson5951
    @patriciabristow-johnson5951 Рік тому +374

    The fact that Novak got arrested for the Facebook page, after it was already down no less, is dystopian honestly

    • @MrClickity
      @MrClickity Рік тому +52

      Not just arrested, SWATed.

    • @Bill-l7g
      @Bill-l7g Рік тому +2

      Selected displays of ignorance are rewarded richly by the law

    • @VisonsofFalseTruths
      @VisonsofFalseTruths 10 місяців тому +8

      We live in a boring dystopia and have for many years now. Unfortunately far less boring for some than for others.

  • @saulitix
    @saulitix 2 роки тому +485

    Posting the police notice in the parody account was definitely a chad move

  • @vincentmarotta9800
    @vincentmarotta9800 5 місяців тому +8

    The Onion also made a similar video about the SCOTUS with respects to a ruling involving lethal injection. In it, SCOTUS watched a video of lethal injection taking place, and the entire SCOTUS overall reaction was akin to how "dude bros" would've reacted. As an example: Justice Ginsberg said "That's wicked!" Later, the only descension decision was of Justice Scallia, who only voted against it because the ruling was too restricted and didn't go far enough, where the only proper punishment would be if the prisoner were put in a sort of Hunger Games-esque battle royal where they effectively need to fight like rabid animals for survival.
    I love how Onion keeps the theme of "Supreme Court of the United States are just a bunch of dope party animal frat boys" going.

  • @eiriankageno
    @eiriankageno 2 роки тому +1031

    Objection!
    A Modest Proposal didn't argue that the poor Irish should eat their *own* babies. It argued they should sell them to the wealthy people in England and Ireland (the majority of whom were also English) so that the rich could eat them.
    Also this is the best Amicus brief ever. And your dog is adorable. Thanks for all the awesome videos.

    • @10thletter40
      @10thletter40 2 роки тому +72

      Exactly, eating your own would be a waste of resources. The British already basically killed the children anyway which is part of the message

    • @tbotalpha8133
      @tbotalpha8133 2 роки тому +2

      Yeah, it was making fun of the shithead oppressors. That the English were making the Irish so desperate that they had to sell their own children to survive, and that the English were such rapacious monsters that they would happily buy and eat Irish children.

    • @censusgary
      @censusgary Рік тому +10

      You’re absolutely right. I was about to post the same correction about “A Modest Proposal.”

    • @AndrewVelonis
      @AndrewVelonis Рік тому +4

      I thought so. Been decades since I read it, but the thought occurred to me as well.

  • @babomberman
    @babomberman 2 роки тому +451

    The Onion is really the hero we need and deserve.

    • @michaelboyce3227
      @michaelboyce3227 2 роки тому +15

      And yet no one asked for..
      .. DOG BLESS AMERICA ✌️

  • @jonathonpolk3592
    @jonathonpolk3592 2 роки тому +334

    True story: in college I read Swift's Modest Proposal and for some reason didn't catch that it was parody. Perhaps it was the serious tone of the prose, or maybe i was having a moment of extreme gullibility. Regardless, I was super mad the following day and wanted to go off about it in class, until my friend laughed in my face for like 10 minutes before telling me it was a damn joke. And that was the moment i stopped taking myself (and pretty much everything else) very seriously.

    • @jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491
      @jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491 2 роки тому +7

      swift was All Parody All The Time
      remember the lilliputians tieing a normal human up ?

    • @inkandesk
      @inkandesk 2 роки тому +3

      Parody makes the world a much better place

    • @starry_lis
      @starry_lis 2 роки тому +7

      I mean, one does expect and Englishman to be like that, so as long as you didn't know he was Irish...

    • @bottyhammer
      @bottyhammer 2 роки тому

      I'd eaten three babies before somebody explained it.

    • @Arshelan
      @Arshelan 2 роки тому +2

      I remember a girl in high school become openly appalled when we had to read Modest Proposal in high school. That was such an amazing day full of laughter, even if it was due to a classmate's reaction. I even took a class on the Satirists in college and found that it once again had the same effect on people, even though they knew they were in a class covering works of satire.

  • @chowspecial
    @chowspecial Рік тому +47

    "In a final round of briefing in January 2023, Novak's lawyers framed the case as an opportunity to either reconsider qualified immunity or better balance it with the right to free speech.[33] The Supreme Court denied the petition on February 21, 2023,[34] letting the lower courts' decisions stand.[35] Novak expressed concerns for future implications for "others who poke fun at the powerful", while an attorney for Parma praised the outcome.[35]"

    • @J5L5M6
      @J5L5M6 11 місяців тому +13

      Damn. Even the thrones of feudal Europe and Asia understood the importance of a court jester for a society to keep itself in-check. I fear we're on a path of a fascistic reign which our ancestors couldn't imagine, and that's saying somethin'.

    • @airplanemaniacgaming7877
      @airplanemaniacgaming7877 11 місяців тому +4

      @@J5L5M6dont forget the fact the attorney for Parma is going and having a little happy dance going "Tee hee we won you lost nya nya nya nya nya nya"

  • @joels5150
    @joels5150 2 роки тому +392

    They didn’t like being made fun of, so “they searched for a crime” to charge him with…
    That’s both pathetic, and detestable.
    Your Tax dollars at work, citizens of Parma, OH 🙄

    • @warlordofbritannia
      @warlordofbritannia 2 роки тому +30

      Would have been a better usage of tax dollars to make some chicken parm

    • @U.Inferno
      @U.Inferno 2 роки тому +17

      @@warlordofbritannia it's very hard to beat chicken parm

    • @C0ZMIK5K1TTL35
      @C0ZMIK5K1TTL35 2 роки тому +1

      What is it with all the jokes about OH?

    • @TheModdedwarfare3
      @TheModdedwarfare3 2 роки тому +8

      Revenge is a dish best served with a search warrant and flash bangs that have the potential to burn down a house with a child inside. -Abe Lincoln

    • @izzy123123123
      @izzy123123123 2 роки тому

      Wouldn't the crime just be impersonating police

  • @cyberjackal774
    @cyberjackal774 2 роки тому +388

    I love the idea of the Onion seeing this happen and just cracking their knuckles.

  • @nerdcentral8484
    @nerdcentral8484 Рік тому +68

    Unfortunately, the Latin Dorks upheld the sixth court decision in Febuary

    • @Eian_Anderson
      @Eian_Anderson Рік тому +29

      It's unbelievable that qualified immunity is being spread so wide.wife. police can just say willingly ignorant of the law, and apply it as they wish as a result.

  • @markrichards9646
    @markrichards9646 2 роки тому +384

    All I can say is the writers for the Onion are geniuses. There is no way I could come up with the topics they parody. Thank you Onion for protecting me and others like me with your fortress of comedy.
    And thank you Devin, for helping me to keep my eyes and ears open to the absurdity of injustices.

  • @mstaken4me
    @mstaken4me 2 роки тому +254

    I really appreciate how well they pointed out that comedy, like stage magic; is reliant on the audience not knowing the punchline, or the trick behind the illusion. It’s completely contrast to the way a lot of other things can and would be handled legally. Very interesting concept.

    • @panagea2007
      @panagea2007 2 роки тому +25

      It would be like someone suing a magician. Either they're upset that the magician was using real magic, or they're upset that the magician fooled them.

    • @kneau
      @kneau 2 роки тому +11

      @@panagea2007 that's so plausible I'm near certain there's precedent regarding patrons claiming a magician left them in crisis, questioning reality. Probably how event/venue tickets wound up sprinkled w/ fine print purchase agreements.

  • @Aerrocuda
    @Aerrocuda 2 роки тому +367

    Imagine if Weird Al Yankovic had to add a disclaimer before every song he’s ever written saying that the song is a parody and not to be taken seriously. It would totally remove the ‘paradise’ in Amish Paradise.

    • @TheHadMatters
      @TheHadMatters Рік тому +12

      No, that's either missing the point or a dishonest slippery slope fallacy. These types of debates exist in the first place because we need to hold institutions like newspapers or even more official distributors of public information (research agencies, universities, governmental institutions, etc.) to a high standard of truth, and so they have to be careful with how they present untrue texts. Doesn't mean they should be denied all access to parody, as has been laid out in this video and its comment section, but you shouldn't pretend that the question at hand is about whether parody can exist *at all* either.
      (And yes, The Onion isn't a newspaper, but that's exactly the point: How far you need to go to distance yourself from claims of being an official authority, and if you *are* an official authority, how much of the inofficial nature of the particular text you are publishing has to be made explicit so it won't qualify as misinformation.)

    • @klausstock8020
      @klausstock8020 Рік тому +45

      @@TheHadMatters Oh well.
      A few years, a shitstorm descended on a German newspaper for publishing an "offending article". Apparently, there were quite a few people who did not understand that the article was *very clearly* satirical.
      Apart from being very clearly satirical, the article was also marked, *very clearly, in large friendly letters* as SATIRE Didn't help either.
      “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

    • @Iosaiv
      @Iosaiv Рік тому +2

      Funny as hell-song.

    • @celinavivian1162
      @celinavivian1162 Рік тому +3

      That would pave paradise and put up a horse tying post

    • @valletas
      @valletas Рік тому +11

      @@TheHadMatters marking it as satire doesnt do shit
      Streetfighter 2 is the father of all fighting games
      During aprill fools a magazine published a joke article that stated on big bold italic letters on the bottom that "THIS IS A JOKE" and proceded to say that there was a secret hidden character on the game
      Thousands were fooled by it and the rumor only truly went away during the digital age

  • @benedixtify
    @benedixtify Рік тому +14

    They're annoyed, they have the ability to harass people and throw them in jail, and no real oversight or accountability.

  • @michellee1190
    @michellee1190 2 роки тому +185

    I they said the callers "honest to god thought the page was real", but then it turns out that wasn't the case... didn't whoever said that commit perjury? Was that statement made under oath?

    • @worthythaneofross3925
      @worthythaneofross3925 2 роки тому +75

      Lol good joke, cops being punished for perjury

    • @ooooneeee
      @ooooneeee 2 роки тому +38

      yeah they routinely lie. Big part of their job.

    • @ovencake523
      @ovencake523 2 роки тому

      yeah df did that happen
      hope someone explains that shit

    • @Hurricayne92
      @Hurricayne92 2 роки тому +4

      @@ooooneeee They even have a term for it. Some More News has done a great video about it.

    • @furiousapplesack
      @furiousapplesack 2 роки тому +1

      @@Hurricayne92 Some More News is fuggin' awesome.

  • @yolkonut6851
    @yolkonut6851 2 роки тому +185

    Alternate title: The Onion explains humor to a police department

    • @trshaw52
      @trshaw52 2 роки тому +10

      they didn't get the joke.

    • @noahgray543
      @noahgray543 2 роки тому +3

      @@trshaw52...all I can think of is the Harley Quinn episode of Batman: the animated series when she says, "it was my fault, I didn't get the joke..."
      There is probably a connection, but I cant think of it right now.

    • @arazec1014
      @arazec1014 2 роки тому

      Whether or not it's a joke doesn't matter. Police officers are the softest MF little crybabies on the face of the planet.

    • @yvettedesmarais8107
      @yvettedesmarais8107 2 роки тому

      @@trshaw52 that’s the funniest part.

    • @AnotherUTubeAccount
      @AnotherUTubeAccount 2 роки тому +2

      One relevant bit of history.... The Onion started in Madison WI as a newspaper. They included the local campus police blotter in the paper. No editing needed. The blotter served as a self parody, because it tended to be ridiculous stories dealing with college students.

  • @DanielAKA
    @DanielAKA 2 роки тому +2268

    So I watched this on Nebula and waited for the UA-cam release just to ask a question: Can we call the dog Legal Beagle? 😁

    • @Mikeoneal07
      @Mikeoneal07 2 роки тому +138

      What do you have there?
      "A PUN!"
      NO!!!

    • @BaronSengir1008
      @BaronSengir1008 2 роки тому +54

      I thought that was already the pup's name!

    • @DavidJamesHenry
      @DavidJamesHenry 2 роки тому +68

      We already call her that

    • @RabblesTheBinx
      @RabblesTheBinx 2 роки тому +60

      That's been her nickname since the first time she was mentioned

    • @ShinoSarna
      @ShinoSarna 2 роки тому +36

      If you watch older episodes, she is definitely called that.

  • @poopymcmonke
    @poopymcmonke Рік тому +29

    So qualified immunity is basically that ignorance of the law is an excuse to break the law but only for state officials. Sounds super just and fair and definitely not prone to abuse

    • @inafridge8573
      @inafridge8573 Рік тому

      Isn't that unconstitutional in itself because it is against the rule of law?

    • @poopymcmonke
      @poopymcmonke Рік тому

      @@inafridge8573 apparently not

  • @wta1518
    @wta1518 2 роки тому +89

    Remember the golden rule: mocking the government is a reasonably good gag, but mocking the government and then the government not finding it funny is a really good gag.

  • @ShadowFox37
    @ShadowFox37 2 роки тому +326

    I made it all the way to the end of this video and still absolutely cannot stop laughing at him copying and pasting the fake page notification to his parody page verbatim.

    • @siukong
      @siukong 2 роки тому +22

      Comedy genius move.

    • @burgerforcongress1001
      @burgerforcongress1001 2 роки тому +15

      And yet, this evidently DIDN'T count as disclosure that the page WASN'T real, AND the cops didn't try to claim he infringed their copyright by copying it verbatim without crediting them.

    • @shaness112233
      @shaness112233 2 роки тому +6

      @@burgerforcongress1001 I hadn't even thought of that, that's the big brain play for his legal team. "We had a disclaimer up, it's right there!"

    • @Sheriff_K
      @Sheriff_K 2 роки тому

      Make people think that the real page is actually the fake, brilliant move.

  • @douglashudlud4274
    @douglashudlud4274 Рік тому +645

    Objection! Billy is, indeed, allowed up there. He requires indemnity in the amount of being told he's a good boy and a new toy.

    • @kihaakui792
      @kihaakui792 Рік тому +34

      Now and in perpetuity.

    • @gus473
      @gus473 Рік тому +9

      Loss of consortium claim too...? 🤔

    • @jacketofdiamonds
      @jacketofdiamonds Рік тому +21

      You're not supposed to be on the computer either, Billy.

    • @000EC
      @000EC Рік тому +25

      Please give Billy his own channel. Legal Beagle!

    • @billy6044
      @billy6044 Рік тому +1

      Ty

  • @hollyhartwick3832
    @hollyhartwick3832 Рік тому +14

    It's says a lot about the Parma police dept. when they're citing qualified immunity and jumping through hoops to dodge accountability rather than act like adults and own their mistakes. The ability to hold oneself accountable and admit wrongdoing is a sign of maturity these people clearly lack.

  • @derheadbanger9039
    @derheadbanger9039 2 роки тому +248

    I remember how horrified one of my teachers once was when he saw a newspaper startet saying SATIRE in the headlines of satirical columns.

  • @ericanderson2482
    @ericanderson2482 2 роки тому +256

    qualified immunity is a big catch 22. Not qualified if a precedent exists, but cases are dismissed before they can set precedent. If qualified immunity could have any value at all, then every qualified immunity case should be adjudicated to the point where, for precedent use, the question is resolved so that qualified immunity could only be used once for a given rights violation.

    • @betochiwas
      @betochiwas 2 роки тому +27

      That would be a reasonable use of qualify immunity,

    • @LeScratch89
      @LeScratch89 2 роки тому +49

      A path to reasonable accountability for police, therefore it can never happen in 'Merikuh.

    • @nasis18
      @nasis18 2 роки тому +20

      It's atrocious honestly. While it may be next to impossible to do away with at the Federal level, that's not the case at the state level. Colorado, and New Mexico both did away it at the state level.

    • @voicetest6019
      @voicetest6019 2 роки тому

      Yeah, but the way the US criminal system works, I doubt prosecuting attorneys want to try a case and undoubtedly piss off the police.

    • @FirstDayson
      @FirstDayson 2 роки тому +8

      Acab

  • @ThePeanut999
    @ThePeanut999 Рік тому +19

    The fact they put him in jail over a funny ass joke that's 100% protected is wild.

  • @Piketom1
    @Piketom1 2 роки тому +179

    Parody and satire are the lifeblood of a healthy political process. One of the best we have to protest injustice is humor. Humor is also one of the oldest forms of political protest and is a vital educational tool. This brief can and should be used to teach about parody, satire, and the purpose they serve.

  • @zane4218
    @zane4218 Рік тому +109

    News update: The supreme court left the lower ruling in place. That is another extremely upsetting and disheartening showing that police are deemed above the law and able to abuse others with no punishment nor recourse for those abused.

  • @PickySun
    @PickySun 2 роки тому +277

    One of the coolest things about the Onion is that their newspapers were always free. I used to love grabbing a copy from the newsstand and reading it during my walks home from High School.

    • @Ruby_Ruby_Roo
      @Ruby_Ruby_Roo 2 роки тому +34

      gees...I nearly forgot about it being in print at one time!

    • @leogama3422
      @leogama3422 2 роки тому +21

      @@Ruby_Ruby_Roo Since 1756!

  • @kaizoey
    @kaizoey Рік тому +30

    I always assumed the onion is getting hella sued by everyone but I didnt know they ball in the legal filings as hard as they do in their content lol

  • @beemerwt4185
    @beemerwt4185 2 роки тому +447

    Man, I can't even imagine being The Onion as far as litigation goes. I can imagine they get sued for quite literally everything.

    • @lesselp
      @lesselp 2 роки тому +6

      Woke is not a crime, unfortunately.

    • @grey2836
      @grey2836 2 роки тому +183

      @@lesselp poor baby

    • @chezmoi42
      @chezmoi42 2 роки тому +85

      ...which probably explains why they have plenty of lawyers available to compose this gem of a brief.

    • @krystaloftheshores
      @krystaloftheshores Рік тому +60

      @lesselp Please explain to me how being woke would be criminally punishable. I’m genuinely curious. By that logic, does that mean that having beliefs other than your own should also be illegal? 🤔

    • @jonnyc429
      @jonnyc429 Рік тому

      @Shannon Lavery to these idiots, including a woman in something counts as woke. 50% of the population of the planet trigger them

  • @CDRaff
    @CDRaff 2 роки тому +325

    You reading the Latin legalese has me realizing that when my dad and his friend "spoke Latin" to each other to show off in front of the kids they were likely just spouting legal jargon and acting... This is the whole "introducing himself as a doctor" thing all over again.

    • @jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491
      @jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491 2 роки тому

      bad thing is:
      english "precedent" law Sux
      real law is Rights : actual roman law of Rights

    • @wayneurquhart7192
      @wayneurquhart7192 2 роки тому +9

      I thought it sounded like Harry Potter casting a spell.

    • @Alfonso162008
      @Alfonso162008 2 роки тому +31

      @@wayneurquhart7192 I mean, most of Harry Potter spells are pretty much latin phrases and words, or derived from them, so you're not wrong there lol.

    • @wayneurquhart7192
      @wayneurquhart7192 2 роки тому

      @@Alfonso162008 Really? JK must have researched this stuff pretty deeply.

    • @anidiot9831
      @anidiot9831 2 роки тому +35

      @@wayneurquhart7192 Nah, most of the latin in HP is pretty basic. Like everything else in her books, its an inch deep and an inch wide.

  • @gernhartreinholzen3992
    @gernhartreinholzen3992 Рік тому +19

    If you need their help, it takes ages, and you can count yourself lucky, if they do *anything* at all. "Yeah, we will search for your stolen car." they won't.
    If one makes fun of them, they instantly set all gears in motion and care about it without any hesitation in full force. Shows where their priorities are.

    • @megsmileyface6202
      @megsmileyface6202 Місяць тому +1

      Omg! My old neighbor waited over 5 hours for the cops to show up about his stolen car. My partner and I passed a cop on the way to the gas station hours before they showed up. My neighbor knew where the car was; he had a tracker. They just wouldn't come with him. By the time they got to the "car," the tracker was removed, and car was gone. It's all so incredibly frustrating.

  • @Steven-wy6qi
    @Steven-wy6qi 2 роки тому +68

    So the people that called to "interrupt the functions of any police operations", why were they not charged? Didn't realize making people ask questions on FB was disrupting police when it was other people calling the police directly with no real police business

    • @JargonMadjin
      @JargonMadjin 2 роки тому +13

      That's an excellent point actually, but if their function is to arrest people for having a sense of humor then people should disrupt them even more

    • @Puukiuuki
      @Puukiuuki 2 роки тому +5

      @O. B. Then again, almost every phone is just a computer in disguise!

  • @Lifealope
    @Lifealope 2 роки тому +106

    There is a satire page for the town I work in. It is labeled a parody page, but people constantly believe it’s real. One of the mayoral candidates (current mayor) actually got into an argument with the page creators believing it was legit. That candidate lost. New mayor was a judge at a Rocky Horror Picture Show costume contest/showing the other night.

    • @chezmoi42
      @chezmoi42 2 роки тому

      Now that's a cool story, in all its facets.
      Also, I loooove your name.

  • @johnathanrhoades7751
    @johnathanrhoades7751 2 роки тому +498

    In highschool, one of my classmates did not understand that "A Modest Proposal" was satire...it was hilarious to watch his outrage at the proposal 😄 it's one of my favorite things I had to read in highschool.

    • @solitarelee6200
      @solitarelee6200 2 роки тому +108

      To be fair to your classmate, in my Victorian Literature class this semester, I read a dead serious brief on why the British Empire needed to educate Indian citizens strictly in English, due to it being the only language with any financial, cultural, historical, literary, or academic merit. It absolutely read like parody in parts. XD

    • @michaireneuszjakubowski5289
      @michaireneuszjakubowski5289 2 роки тому +72

      @@solitarelee6200 Kipling wrote "The White Man's Burden" as a serious piece - try reading it today with a straight face xD

    • @ericb.4313
      @ericb.4313 2 роки тому +7

      I read it twice in college, then after I graduauted, I nearly stood on Jonathan Swift's head in Ireland.

    • @Eon2641
      @Eon2641 2 роки тому +53

      While it is funny to take a modest proposal seriously, it's not that unreasonable to believe it's a genuine text if you've ever read anything by Malthus lol. The man literally advocated eugenics and genocide because poor people eat too much. Like, sure, advocating for eating babies is blatantly absurd, but how much more absurd is it than "We should just soft genocide the poors because we hypothetically might not have enough food in the future and they have no value, even though the poors are the ones who produce the food and all we do is eat banquets, start wars and sell drugs to other countries. Also I don't know how future projections work, despite being a learned economist."?
      Fun fact, he also advocated focusing on making luxury goods to "balance" the economy and combat inflation. If that sounds as familiar as it does stupid (not to mention contradictory), congratulations you've been paying attention.

    • @azuarc
      @azuarc 2 роки тому +15

      I was in the gifted program, and when our teacher had us read it in class without explaining, basically the entire class did not pick up on the satire. We had to have it explained because we couldn't inherently accept that something our English teacher would ask us to read from an 800-page literature anthology would be anything other than a face-value essay about the topic-at-hand.
      This was also pre-internet culture, where people of today would be far more used to seeing this kind of composition. I have to imagine born-20-years-later-me would have spotted it immediately.

  • @bambibranchfieldart
    @bambibranchfieldart Рік тому +16

    10 calls? 😂. I work police dispatch. We get more than that when the power goes out in an area of town.

  • @AndrewVelonis
    @AndrewVelonis Рік тому +89

    I've been a lawyer for almost 38 years now. I have done a small amount of appellate work in that time. This would have been the brief I would love to have written but never would have had the guts. Thanks for living out my fantasy, guys.

  • @MateusDrake
    @MateusDrake 2 роки тому +117

    I have the utmost respect for The Onion's writers.
    I had laughed many times before, but this story has them: standing up for the little guy (and everyone), doing the right thing , and being absolutely hilarious while doing so.

    • @GrumpyIan
      @GrumpyIan 2 роки тому +3

      When my dad and I go anywhere we have their podcast playing. Makes me sad that they ended it but they're great to listen over and over again.

    • @julianakarasawa315
      @julianakarasawa315 2 роки тому +2

      Their ability to mimic basically any tone and style is incredible 🤣

    • @GrumpyIan
      @GrumpyIan 2 роки тому

      @@smeggiamagarwine Yes

  • @ThePageofCups
    @ThePageofCups 27 днів тому +7

    This one has a sad ending, unfortunately. In a show of 'not our circus; not our monkeys,' the Supreme Court told Novak et all that they didn't want to hear it. This was after another satirical organization (the conservative The Babylon Bee) also filed an amicus brief that was favorable to The Onion's and agreed with them despite being on the opposite side of the philosophical aisle. So the lower court's decision stands as precedent now. Fun.

  • @TheOneWhoMightBe
    @TheOneWhoMightBe 2 роки тому +167

    I'm surprised that The Onion is still going considering how reality is outdoing it for absurd stories these days.

    • @tennicksalvarez9079
      @tennicksalvarez9079 2 роки тому

      @@_t.m_ nah it's yee ;)

    • @Maphisto86
      @Maphisto86 2 роки тому +29

      There is literaly a subreddit called "nottheonion" that posts real newspaper headlines that sound like parody but really are not.

    • @Hurricayne92
      @Hurricayne92 2 роки тому +1

      I'm pretty sure that's why House of Cards is no longer running 😅

    • @Miss_Trillium
      @Miss_Trillium 2 роки тому +2

      @@Maphisto86 wild that not the onion exists, shameful that ate the onion exists (not necessarily, although sometimes, shame on the people that eat the onion, but rather the fact that people eat the onion at all)

    • @edwardallenthree
      @edwardallenthree 2 роки тому +6

      Reporting the news with a straight face is how the onion does it's parody now. It works surprisingly well.

  • @Ad1nfernum
    @Ad1nfernum 2 роки тому +154

    Now I want to know what the application process for the position of in-house counsel at The Onion looked like. I'll bet those gents have been waiting their entire careers for the chance to write something like this.

    • @jarrydwilson1232
      @jarrydwilson1232 2 роки тому +12

      Printed on fancy paper, and framed for sure

    • @inkandesk
      @inkandesk 2 роки тому +5

      Their contracts were typed in comic sans I’d bet

  • @msmalackey
    @msmalackey 2 роки тому +218

    We demand more Legal Beagle with Billy.

  • @indigoHatter
    @indigoHatter Рік тому +8

    What a low-key, smoooooooth way to call the judge and attorney idiots at 16:43. So smooth, it's almost imperceptible.

  • @CaitieLou
    @CaitieLou 2 роки тому +338

    Seeing him instantly go into baby-talk mode when Billy hopped up on screen was great XD

  • @imperialguard1858
    @imperialguard1858 Рік тому +64

    Long time fan and Cleveland resident here. This is the single most accurate and concise description of Parma and Cleveland's relationship with Parma I've ever heard

    • @WakenerOne
      @WakenerOne Рік тому +2

      *_Ha-haaaaaaa!_* (clap) A-HA-hahahahahahahahagu-huuh-huh-huh-huh-hehehehe * *hic!* *

  • @Thunder-Sky
    @Thunder-Sky 2 роки тому +47

    I imagine that when the swat team showed up, Novak to himself "wow, y'all really coming in here to prove my point now, aren't ya?"

  • @blockshift758
    @blockshift758 Рік тому +11

    One my favourite line from the onion
    "Look he's just like me a human. We can exploit that."

  • @knitpurlprincess
    @knitpurlprincess 2 роки тому +146

    Being from Cleveland and a perpetrator "DWB" Parma is in so many sad ways a joke. I am so happy you covered this case and I love The Onion even more for their support. At first I thought the entire case was actually from The Onion. This is great!
    BTW: I actually love the diverse Eastern European and Mediterranean population of the city but yeah, there is a clear past and current history of racism.

    • @Furry-ousNews
      @Furry-ousNews 2 роки тому +15

      I live in parma, those cops are stuck in 1950 in every wrong way possible

    • @JimChambers
      @JimChambers 2 роки тому +1

      @@Furry-ousNews Well, the motorcycle cop does have a 70's pornstache... Progress?

    • @Gretabpooh
      @Gretabpooh 2 роки тому +5

      My friend and I were pulled over about five years ago when she was driving my car home from a doctor appointment. The officer actually asked me (white woman) if my friend was kidnapping me. This was my first experience of DWB, although I knew it existed. My jaw just about hit the floor, I was so flabbergasted and disgusted.

  • @syriuszb8611
    @syriuszb8611 Рік тому +118

    They should also add, that if the police department thought those texts were plausible, it reflects more on the police department than on the parodist. And that it is a great parody, because if even the target think it's plausible, that means the parody is well earned and the target should improve.

    • @Bipolar.Baddie
      @Bipolar.Baddie 10 місяців тому

      Police are the equivalent of the bully that only draws a line when someone says something that hurts them. They are insecure, aggressive, self-righteous asshats that can't deal with even the mildest form of constructive criticism.

  • @L1ama
    @L1ama 2 роки тому +226

    Wait did you not include the onion's greatest headline (and one of the best jokes ever), "Jurisprudence fetishist gets off on a technicality"?

    • @EvoliPlays
      @EvoliPlays 2 роки тому +10

      is that sentence UA-cam friendly?

    • @L1ama
      @L1ama 2 роки тому +19

      @@EvoliPlays oh right I forgot all their weird stupid monetization restrictions

    • @Nick-rs5if
      @Nick-rs5if Рік тому +2

      He did bring that one up, on Nebula. ;)

    • @monkeybusiness1039
      @monkeybusiness1039 Рік тому +1

      That's hilarious!