as a colombian it took me YEARS to actually start believing that in the NL there’s actual friendships between men and women without them hitting on each other eventually. It was such a cultural shock.
I'm dutch an my grandma (also very dutch) still has a hard time getting this concept. She went to a catholic girl school run by nuns and there was no way of being in friends with guys ever. I have mostly male friends (I'm a woman) and she always ask if I'm dating whoever I'm talking about. I her eyes I must have atleast 5 boyfriends at the same time at this point hahahah
There is always some sexual tension that has to be worked through first. Assuming they are both straight either one at some point but usually at the beginning has regarded the other as a potential mate. But it is entirely possible that one or both of them are not attracted to each other or they have come to the conclusion that they are better of as friends.
I think many foreigners don't know how to recognize love when it's not given in roses and grand gestures. Once I started taking note of smaller gestures I realized many Dutchies fit into love languages like acts of service (like fixing something for you) and quality time. Not everything has to be grand or sexual and they don't expect things from you. They cherish the simple things like having you around. I think when you look at it like that, Dutchies are the purest lovers there are. We see our partner as an equal, not something to conquer. Also, what is special about receiving flowers when you know he’d give them to any girl he’s been on dates with?
@@Natalia-nw6mf 'small' gestures that however take some time and attention and knowledge of the other person can be more valuable then generic things like flowers that you can just buy on your way to your date..
@@Natalia-nw6mf Imagine talking down on someones perspective on how they like their partner to show affection and downplaying it. Get your head out of your ass and accept that not everyone is high maintenance like you are.
Girl! What you say it is really normal in healthy relationships with healthy people. We are talking about “romantic” And yes. I give you something because i think on you, because i know what you like and i want to make you happy… I want to seduce you, then i do specials things for you because you can feel how special you are for me. And yes. I will repair what you need because i love you and i will be give you quality time because i love you and i will be around you because i also love you. That’s normal.
@@Ameliewwoudstra Not for everyone. Normal is different for everyone. I learned it's best to just talk about what you want from one another instead of assuming some kind of 'normal'. I think it's one of the biggest pitfalls of the Dutch people. For example: 'Dat is toch normaal!' or 'Doe normaal!'.
@@DelinaLei then you should have opened a comment for yourself, and not reply my comment beginning with bullshit. I find it completely unappropriated, and offensive. I am 50 years old and I am beyond naive. Not only Dutchmen cheat. Men from other nationalities also cheat. I have a great experience of knowing girls who were cheated by their boyfriends, and husbands. Do not think because I am Latin American, I am stupid because I am not. I know men pretty well, and know from half century to distinguish right from wrong. So you do not preach me.
Double Dutch (splitting the bill), having female friends as a guy, women asking guys out or to marry them, are all results of emancipation. This is one of the more equal countries, for women, in terms of chances in life. I've dated some non-Dutch women and most of them felt I wasn't romantic, but always treated them as equals, as I think it should be in a relationship. It's a two-way street, like a conversation.
Exactly! A relationship is a two-way street where both give their love to the other. Not some way for women to get free dinners, gifts, and other "romantics" that hold little to no meaning. If you are in a relationship you should feel comfortable with each other and not feel the need to conquer your partner. I would even go a step beyond "double Dutch" and let everybody pay what they ordered. That is even more fair since some people might eat more or less than another person.
@@PaladinfffLeeroy The conquering part is still there when wanting to date someone, but once you're in a relationship, at should be based on mutual respect and love. If that isn't there, just split up. We often have everyone pay for their meal when there is a larger group, but one a date it is usually a split bill. The Dutch even made an app for it, called Tikkie, where you can send people payment request as an equal share (for a group present) or everyone's personal share (for dinners). It prevents a lot of issues within groups of friends, as leachers and parasites can't leach and be parasites.
@@Yvolve I have never split the bill on a date but I may be considered old fashioned. Some women accept it and some won't. And if they really insist then the next date would be on them.
Equality between men and women is a misconception. It's just a sign the Dutch society is sinking. Btw spitting the bill is just impossible over here in France. you would get slapped hahaha
In the Dutch culture there's a reluctance to showing your emotions. Like the feedback from the (lovely :) video I guess we do are very straight forward, honest, efficient, logical. Soo.. that means the other side of the coin is that therefore we are a bit boring and feel more vulnerable to show how we really feel. We can be more in our heads, than in our hearts. Sometimes that's a shame, because you lose spontaneity. Still, it's lovely to read many people here appreciate our culture and high level of emancipation.
Telling a strange woman on the street here you want to marry her is very inappropriate here and almost considered harassment. I would not recommend doing this as a man.
I'm Dutch. I am slowly understanding that we 'as a culture' are not expressing our feelings that well. I really do think we should be more open to our feelings and don't keep our emotions in our body. For every human it can lead to anxiety and stress in the long run.
@@data1.078 Daar sla je de spijker op de kop.. Ik heb me pasgeleden betrapt dat ik niet goed met emoties om kan gaan. En ik betrek het gelijk op heel Nederland... Het is wel een cultuurding (politieke figuren bv.) maar het zit gelukkig niet standaard in de opvoeding.
@@data1.078 Toch zit er wel een kern van waarheid in Biology4me's verhaal. Wij Nederlanders vind ik bepaald geen open volk: sinds een ontmoeting met een Oekraïnse jongedame hier in Nederland (waar het wel mee klikte), m'n daarop volgende vakantie in Oekraïne (nou ja, Kiëv) en de paar andere Oost-Europese types die ik kort daarna heb ontmoet, kan ik wel stellen dat wij Nederlanders inderdaad echt niet zo open zijn. Voor Oost-Europeanen is het veel normaler om, als je iemand net 10 minuten kent en er een aardig gesprek loopt, de familiefoto's uit de portemonnee tevoorschijn te halen en te laten zien wie je kinderen of ouders zijn, waar je woont en dergelijke. De gemiddelde Nederlander voelt zich dan toch al snel ongemakkelijk. Zo kreeg ik 2 jaar terug van een Rus, nadat we er, met wat handen-en-voeten Engels en Russisch, uit waren gekomen dat hij op dezelfde trein moest stappen als ik, meteen een appel aangeboden: vóór m'n tijd in Oekraïne zou ik dat aanbod waarschijnlijk afgeslagen hebben, nu nam ik het zonder morren aan en we hebben allebei tevreden een appel weg staan werken terwijl we stonden te wachten op de trein. We waren 1, we begrepen elkaar. In de trein pakte hij toen z'n telefoon en liet de foto's van z'n kinderen en dergelijke zien: dat is toch echt iets wat wij niet zo snel zullen doen. In Oekraïne ging ik, net een uur of zo in het land, meteen met de metro naar een kerstmarkt met die jongedame waar ik het eerder over had. Daar aangekomen wees zij haar broer de weg naar de metro, haar zus liep even mee: ik kreeg meteen de 13-jarige dochter van haar zus, die ik net 10 minuten kende en geen engels sprak, onder m'n hoede: ik moest maar vast in het restaurant een plek zoeken, dan zou zij een paar minuten later wel aanschuiven. Nou, dát zullen we in Nederland écht niet doen denk ik...
My dutch boyfriend flew 3000 km to see me when I hadn't expected it! He is super caring in a practical way (which is damn important!), but also up to spontaneous and romantic things. I have to say that i do the same back, but also initiated often first. In fact, because I did that a few times (like some quests, riddles,etc), he got inspired and all the other times actually outbeaten me by far! Girls, they need to be melted a little 😅
My mom is Dutch and she is so straight forward. She always say, "If you love someone and that someone left you, it means it is not love." My friends asked me how my parents meet as Medan people are loud and something to be known as rude but they are not. Well it just works that way 😄❤💘
I'm Dutch but moved to France for my French boyfriend. He's really not like there stereotype French men you hear about. It's like he's more Dutch or something. Although he doesn't mind spending money for gifts, he will only buy me practical gifts. And so, I've never gotten flowers. We split all the dinner costs from the beginning. And we kinda kept it going for a long time. But when (in the beginning of the pandamic) I moved in and my job fell through, he paid everything for me. Of course I'm Dutch so I knew how to minimize my expenses, but still. He's very loyal, down to earth and also tall ;) If it wasn't for his French accent you'd mistake him for a Dutch guy XD
10 euro's for your girlfriends birthday is only acceptable if you're in financial trouble or in highschool. I know it's the thought that counts, but clearly that guys also didn't put any thought into it if he's having to ask a woman last minute. If you're a grown ass man with a job get your girl a proper present that she will really like. It doesn't have to be expensive still, but if you know her well enough and listen to her you must know something to get.
The more I read this commentsection, the more I realize what an asshole I've been dating in the past. He was making enough money to treat himself to 100-200 euro LEGO-packages or 40-euro packages off Amazon. I don't recall ever receiving anything above 2 or 3 euro, except for a book and he purchased that for himself and told me 'I could read it when he was done.' I said; 'So it's not my birthdaypresent?' and he said 'No, it is, but it needs to stay in my house.' Same goes for the kitchenscale he got me on Christmas, that was high-tech, but I wasn't allowed to take it home, because 'he was going to use it to weigh his food.'
Think yall are just dating strange Dutchmen. My Dutchie is incredibly sweet and romantic. He spent a year charming me, celebrating our first anniversary with a romantic weekend in Paris. He loves to give flowers and often buys them for his mother (I prefer chocolate, so that's what he gets me). His mom is part French and quite a romantic herself, so maybe that's where he got it.
My father occasionally tried and rip some flowers from the side of the road whilst driving his bike home. My mom hated the idea but loved the flowers and the gesture!
I did that for my ex, (a guy, I'm a woman) but he hated the flowers and kept whining about 'where to keep them' and would throw them back into the field and say; 'Let's go home. Now!' like I was some sortof spoiled child. My future partner will definitely have to be appreciative of those sortof gestures from me and if he ever picks flowers from the side of the road I will very gratefully recieve them as well :D
I came from Germany to the Netherlands for 10 years and I found Dutch women excellent lovers. There is no complicated navigating around you need to put up with, everything is clear and concise, you know what you get. They are romantic, yet not dramatic. Men and women are equals in relationships on every level. More than half of my friends are female and it would seem ridiculous to me if my partner would stand in the way of these friendships, in the same way that I feel uncomfortable when a woman expects me to pay for her expenses. I can have a hard time interpreting subtle hints or indirect communication, understanding someones expectations without them being expressed verbally. None of this was ever a problem. Dutch girls are awesome :)
2:30 we do like to get flowers, it is just that we know how the cheap ones from the supermarket or gasstation look like. Those are not romantic for us, put some effort in it and go to a flowershop. Most of the times when I see a romantic movie from Hollywood I cringe when the man brings flowers to a date. They are always so cheap looking to Dutch standards. 😂
Yes absolutely true! My husband once brought me flowers, a large bouquet of red and white roses. He had bought it from a very expensive flowershop and it was specially made up for me. It was the most romantic present I ever got. Yes we definitly see the difference with a bouquet from the AH!
@@davidszenasi3204 Neither. It's just the 'I've gone to some trouble for you' thing. Like 'I let them make up a bouquet especially for you, in the way and with the flowers you like'. The price is irrelevant. A very cheap supermarket bought bunch of flowers just says: I almost forgot, I only thought it worth buying one when I was in the supermarket anyway. So it's not specially price related, more the thought and effort you put in. I hope I've made it clear, it's not easy explaining in another language. For example: Should you love wild flowers, and your loved one goes gathering wild flowers for you in the woods, and gives them to you, it's a very very valuable and romantic present. Even though he didn't pay for it. In money that is.
I am a Dutch girl and I got given one rose by my ex, each year for Valentinesday. He did this for 3-4 years in a row (in the last year, he hung a card with an explicit sexual proposition on it, which was not appreciated) and he always purchased the 3-euro Valentinesroses. I asked him; 'Dearest, can you maybe get those tiny rose-bouquets from the Albert Heijn? Those are 50 cents cheaper for a starters, so that's good for your wallet and it'll make me feel a lot happier when I have something substantial to hold, rather than one rose. It just makes me feel cheap somehow, to be gifted this one rose and see the same people every year, looking at me, probably thinking, why isn't he stepping up his game or something? As if I'm giving away myself for one rose, which I basically am a little.' But he (an asshole) was afraid that if he'd step up his game, that he'd make things harder on himself and that I would start demanding more roses or gifts. As if he was bombarding me with them at that moment (...as I mentioned, I was gifted one a year.) Either way, after the breakup I decided to buy myself a bouqet for around 15 euros and as long as I don't fall into poverty I will keep treating myself with them.
I work for a Netherland based company and I have many dutch colleagues who I interact on daily basis.. a indts so true they are very direct.. in the beginning I found it rude to be so direct but after working for more than 3 years with them I really appreciate their directness.. No drama straightforward....
What I hear from my French boyfriend is that I'm pretty romantic in that I want to do everything with him, involve him in everything. But my need for organising and scheduling is pretty annoying. XD
Every video is like: The Dutch don't like to spent money on this. The Dutch don't like to spent money on that. The Dutch don't like to spent money on this either.
I have to say as an expat, I experienced the best moment of my life but another the worst. But like lady says at the beginning, even partnership may not happen 😂
I don´t think much about nationality. Some are better than others everywhere. Memories of Dutch men are all good, but I have travelled quite a lot and am old now.
@@draco3970 It´s an old photograph. I don´t get photographed very often and it was the only one I could find; I´ve never bothered to change it, but thank you anyway for the compliments.
I am 100% dutch, the thing is, dutch men and woman are equals. that's how you also see each other and learn from when u are born, as girls and guys do practically the same thing and are also mixed from early age in everything. This results in guys and woman being friends from a young age all the way to the end. A guy going with a girlfriend of somebody else to some party or vacation isn't something weird because of that. Girls and guys going on vacations without eachother and joining other people is also not uncommon. Dutch kids also get learned from the day they start to move into school ( male and female ) that they have to take care of themselves first. Which means men or woman are not dependend on each other for money. Even if the woman for example is broke and wants out, there is no control over the woman because she can get money from the state to move out and take care of herself. This results in dutch woman and men only going and staying in a relationship when they both agree with it. And that also means both will do effort to maintain it. It's not a one way direction u see in other cultures. Dates are basically rapidfire questions on what u like and what u don't like and people look it they are compatible and then move forwards so people know straight away if they like it. This could look cold or a business contract to outsiders, but its a extremely efficient way to have a relationship that basically requires both people to do effort in it. I personally have many girlfriends as male, married ones also. It's completely normal. They are just your buddy's and u interact towards them the same way. Then about paying for bills for example, one person just pays if you are in a group, sends everybody a whatsapp with a pay request and prices from everybody, and u pay that person. Everybody pays there own stuff. Which means if you don't got a lot of money u just order less or cheaper stuff and nobody looks down on you. U get what u can afford. If you start to become the person that wants to pay everything, u won't be long in that group because nobody likes braggers. This is also why u have doctors and truckers basically being friends something u barely see anywhere else. As people don't identify themselves with there profession and income.
@4:44 Hmmmm, as a Dutchie I think that one may lead to some disappointment if the subtle differences in circumstances are not well understood. Although I agree it's common to 'go Dutch' in the Netherlands ;) Whether it's custom to split the bill may depend on: Who is asking who to dinner? How was it phrased; is it a question or an invitation? What are your intentions? To what extend is the relationship-status clear? Etcetera. For example; if you say; "Hey I'm hungry, you too? Would you like to share a meal?", then sure you can split the bill. Also does not seem likely you're having a crush on him/her. Could be, maybe you're just shy or something. But most likely you're just friends, grabbing some dinner. As indeed: men and women can be in Netherlands. No problem! But if you say something along the lines of "I'd like to invite you to dinner" and particularly if your intentions appear romantic and (s)he also thinks it's actually a date.... Then (s)he may be quite surprised and disappointed if the check comes and you're not paying for it. Some may even feel offended, but may not let it show. If (s)he is like me, (s)he may be inclined to pay half, but may not be so inclined to start dating you. Not necesarrly out of spite, but because it seems the intentions were misinterpreted. Must be you were just trying to become friends, though in a bit of a clumsy way. Me personally, I tend to keep things simple. If I invite someone to dinner, I'm paying. If someone tells me (s)he's taking me out for dinner, I'm assuming it's his/her treat. No romantic inclinations necessary. I do have friends who favor splitting bills and that's fine, but it's not my preference. Particularly whenever I meet up with someone on a regular basis, be it friend/co-worker/familymember, I actually think it's less of a hassle than splitting the bill or transferring money each time. Usually people automatically start taking turns picking up the bill. Moreover: treating eachother is way more fun!
As a Dutch guy I'm so very confused when I hear people talk about how you can't be friends with the opposite gender. Apparently it's a big cultural thing in many countries, but it just doesn't make sense to me. Who would be friends with gay people than? Or bisexual people? As a side note: Many of the points raised here are generally true as far as I know, but there are plenty Dutch people that diverge from the norm. For instance: I always offer to pay on a first date, I just check with my date what they prefer. The romance things (like holding a door or bringing flowers) are generally considered unnecessary and old fashioned, but some people like old fashioned romance here. I had dates in the past where I stepped up my game a bit to romance it up, but not before she communicated to me what she wanted, because I'm no mindreader. I like that we Dutch people are generally pretty big on communication, but I think we should still communicate more. Especially in relationships and dating settings.
@@blackdaan You can be equal but still have a spicy relationship. That's why i strongly dislike hanging out with dutchies because they break their minds over the concept of unconditional love. You do something nice, they must repay you or worse, they do something nice and something MUST be traded for in return. blegh.
As a Dutch woman, if I don't like the guy I date, I'll pay everything, just to get rid of him. If I like the guy, I'll let him decide. If he wants to split, fine by me, if he wants to treat me to it, also fine.
2:29 that's a good point. You can indeed buy a great bouquet of flowers for 10 eur or sometimes less, but if you bring those for your date it's kinda like you are cheap because you just bought some flowers. Flowers here in NL are indeed not that special.
"When you first start dating someone you have to ask if it's an open or closed relationship". Uhh excuse me ma'am, who tf are you dating? 🤨 I'm inclined to think that's really just who they happened to attract...Then again I, a native Dutchie, am dating a British guy XD
Im a Filipina from the Philippines dating a Dutch guy online. We have known each other since last yr, became friends first before becoming a couple. We havent meet yet because of the pandemic. Its true what some of them said like expect your partner to have other girl friends/buddies. I told my bf if Im the jealous type I think it will be an issue, him being too friendly haha. And the other one where if theres a problem theyre want to tackle the issue and afterwards its done. Its ok for me since I also dont want too much drama haha. And yes, theyre really frank and straightforward which is refreshing for me because most Filipinos avoid direct confrontation. Either we want to maintain peace or we are worried to offend anyone. So even if its not really okay , we just say yes so the discussion will finally end. With the Dutch its exact opposite. There are pros and cons of course, like I dont need to second guess his response. The cons is too much information sometimes hahahaha
Good luck with your relationship:)! I’m sure will be alright because you get to know each other well before meeting. Lots of time to chat before physical. That’s kind of romantic in itself haha.
My Filipina thinks the same as you, haha she's coming here for xmas this year (we met during the pandemic online too!) Here hoping your relationship turns out just as great as ours :)
i totally agree with what you said. i hate confrontations for the reasons that i am afraid that the other person might get offended and that i just really want to maintain peace and not stain our relationship
What a nonses. Every country has it's own thing. Do you fall for someone who gives you flowers or do you fall for someone you feel more connected too. And asking a stranger to marry you.. how many times does that succeed? Anyway. what i learn here is that they are more into what you have and what you can give instead of a good connection. we call them golddiggers
I know, right?! That Iranian woman seems way more materialistic than a Dutch woman. A good connection and feeling at peace like equals is more important than gifts and wealth. Sure, wealth is handy because it makes living easier but wealth =/= love.
Stupid and super facial women go for money and are measuring the 'love' of their man in money and gifts: how dumb they are! It's the meaning that counts not the worth of a gift. Spoiled little, immature brats do think this way. It's pathetic and shallow!
@@PaladinfffLeeroy Well, it is not a surprise considering Iranian women get the most nose jobs of any population in the world. As a Southern Indian, I did not have much issues with my Austrian wife. Though I did have to tell my in laws not to buy so many random toys for our daughter.
Dad died a couple of days ago From what I've heard from mom, i'd argue that yes, definitely, there are good loving men here They had been together for 34 years
I am sorry for your loss. I also lost my father few years ago. Dating and relationship is very difficult truly, i believe they are always someone out there for us. It just has to be the right time, right place.
@@xw6475 thank you. And i agree. They had been together for 34 years and they contrasted and completed each other so beautifully. I am having a though time, but mum... Oh poor mum
@@jezusbloodie I understand. 34 Years is long and grief is 1 of the most difficult emotions to go through. Please stand by her side and support her emotionally. She needs you
I understand what they are getting at. At the same time defining how romantic somrthing is on the basis of how much money is spent is also a bit ridiculous if you stop and think of it. That you think it is 'weird' that guys do not wish to spend copious amounts of money on you or buy you perfume, jewelry every bday is completely understandable.
When I asked a woman for a date, I offered the question of me paying or 50/50. The first is fine if she's playing it old-fashioned, but with the latter I'd like to offer recognition of her independance and that I see her as my equal. If she askes me, I ask if she wants to pay or go 50/50. You'd be suprised I never paid it full myself and at leat half of the time we splitted.
@@hallo80510 To me it makes sense to pay for your girlfriend but not for a first date. Why would I pay for a stranger when we are both there for the same thing ie to find if we match?
I dont agree with what they say when they say Dutch are not romantic. After living here for almost a year and dating a Dutch for 3 years I can't agree. They are romantic it's just that they don't go out in the obvious, it's more about small daily things than about getting us flowers. Plus, I'd say that saying they aren't cuddly isn't true either I just have noticed they are way more to themselves and its not that they do it out in public but they keep it for private moments
Ladies, I found a true Dutch gem! Extremely sweet and helpful, super smart. Waited a while to make sure he loves me before he said so, proposed 1.5 year later and a year after that we got married in church in my birth city (Poland). He is so much not the stereotypical Dutchie - always gentleman, very traditional, appreciating family, believing in true love with no divorce, and that things are done in order (marriage first, then kids). In top of that his family is awesome and they accepted me like a daughter 😊 I am traditional myself and never thought I would get married to a Dutchie, but I could not have been luckier ❤️
@@Anna-sb4zk Get out of the city :) The intercity will bring you near nicer guys in about an hour. Or two. (Don't pick Utrecht as your hunting ground, we have a surplus of females because of all the 'soft studies', so the competition is fierce here! ;) )
@@Anna-sb4zk Congrats on finding a keeper! (Yes I know you did, I was just talking.) I am always happy if people find that special person they want to belong to and stay with for a long long (life) time. (And secretly proud that your 'keeper' is a Dutch person. ;) ) I hope you will be happy always!
As a Dutch woman, I enjoy these videos so much. They always make me smile, especially when the participants have so much fun over our weird habits. I'm curious, how do foreigners experience our tolerant culture towards the lgbtq community? Is it a big culture shock, for example, to see a same sex couple kiss each other on the streets? Or meeting a couple or seeing them holding hands? To us it is quite common to see this by now. I'm wondering how foreigners experience this.
I haven't seen many lgtbi community outside Amsterdam and I've lived in Hilversum and Apeldoorn, so maybe outside the big cities, it is very traditional country. I think that the real cultural shock is when you realise that The Netherlands (in general) is very different outside Amsterdam.
Hello Im a Filipina and I only hear about Dutch culture etc from my Dutch bf Im dating online. Not really a shock about LGBTQ since there are members of LGBTQ here and I have some friends. Though I notice you tend to see lesbian couple walking hand in hand and most people are I guess used to it compared to a gay couple. What is shocking is the sex store, sex museam, a theater where they do live sex performance or something. I told him im glad he share it to me or else when I finally migrated to NL, my eyes will be out their sockets in no time haha
Why should a guy spend much money on a girl but not the other way around? It’s amazing to me to see people say that the guy does not spend enough money on the woman whilst they themselves have not even spend 1 Euro on the guy themselves.
10 euro's for your girlfriends birthday O.o, i dont think that is normal unless youve been giving her presents all year round, and im from the netherlands. usually i would take her out for dinner, or do something she likes to do or get her something she likes, but 10 euro's is just low (unless youre a teenager and get payed like 3 euro's an hour)
@@despayre3914 im not saying more money spend means more love/romance, but just giving her something like 10 euro's is just not right. youve got to dress it up a bit. it should not be about the money and a bit more intimate, for example like i said take her out for dinner, or go do something fun together like a date.
@@1992dragonblade Still.....it will cost. So it's basically all about money. It all boils down to that. Being in your company is not enough......you HAVE to give something, more than 10 euro, even dress it up a bit.......yeah I know, they love it.....but ffs come on........or take her out on a date/diner. Money.....not romance. No matter how people bring it, nobody talks him/her self out of this. 🤣
Everytime again i think: why do these people live here, they are rather negative then positive. Most of them are so negative and tell bullshit. Like Antony, its rather about a good deal than about love. What the fuck, it’s the opposit. And like the french guy, never heart him say something he really liked in or about the Netherlands. Arrogancy is a french invention, i know, but what does he achieves with it? I see in every country i visit something nice, but these people are making fun of everything or don’t like it. Are my feelings hurt? Not at all, but it’s a pitty for themselves and it comes not in handy if you want to connect to dutch people. And it makes me wonder: why do you live here and what do you want to achieve with your negative attitude? In my opinion dutch guys are hard workers , trustworthy, not jealouse, genuine, good helpers in and around the house, they care about you and your feelings, good listeners, equal in the relation. Can they do anything better, ofcourse! A little bit more romantic or do there best when you go out. Note: luckely not everyone is so negative, the Guy from scotland was nice also the colombian was positive.
Mi novio no es romántico pero tiene muchos detalles le gusta que esté bien. hablamos todos los días . El sabe que me gusta besarlo abrazarlo y el se deja . Nos complementamos . Yo soy Peruana y el Holandés y nos llevamos bien hemos viajado aquí y pronto estaremos juntos en Holanda
Two co-workers of mine think a Dutch partner is simply out of my reach and should go for someone from my origin instead. While they have no problem that my sister is married to a Dutch guy. Ugh, the biggest nonsense I have ever heard.
They meant someone whose ethnicity is 100% Dutch. Let say, someone has a Dutch mother but a Japanese father, you would say they are 50% Dutch and 50% Japanese.
@@sofienummers thank you, much appreciated. I am a researcher and part of my work focuses on ethnicity and migration related issues (this doesn`t mean that I know it all or what I think is the only truth). This was the main reason why the expression "100% Dutch" stood out to me the most when I watched the video. Ethnicity is a such a complex concept and I disagree that someone`s ethnicity could be simply defined by the (estimated) percentages of that person`s genes. It includes history, religion, sociopolitical dynamics and it can change depending on the sociopolitical circumstances. Based on your example, let`s say the person who has a Dutch mother and a Japanese father was born in the Netherlands. His mother is from a small village in South and was raised up as a catholic and his father does not have a religious background, was born in Tokyo, studied in America and migrated to the Netherlands for work and met his Dutch wife. They live in Amsterdam and the child goes to an international school (have got mostly international friends). All these factors influence how (strongly) this child would identify with Dutch/ Japanese/ American values (hence his ethnic identity).
@@sofienummers Many people across the world will use this expression, but I always found its usage odd. One could have Asian and African parents and still be 100% Dutch. A lot of people however seem to conflate nationality with ethnicity -- albeit out of benign or malignant reasons.
Depends on the Dutchie. I'm Canadian married to a Dutchman. He's romantic and sentimental and gives the most thoughtful gifts. He's more gentle than the overly direct and judgmental culture he comes from.
Please consider that this particular Canadian might have experienced the behavior of plenty of Dutchies and selected this particular Dutchie for marriage because of his above average characteristics. It happens when one goes for the best match and not for the random. Aren’t you an individual too?
The 10 euro birthday gift boyfriend tho... im dutch and id be upset at that, unless he has no job or sth then i understand. I mean i dont need golden watches or something but dont be so stingy with me for my birthday as to do that. Kind of insulting really.
@@mariadebake5483 my dutch partner is not cold at all i speak about the others, otherwise explain me why there are so many dutch women who prefer guys from Suriname and so much female sex tourism in Gambia...
If by good lovers you mean good at sex, then no. If you mean good at long term relationships then yes. The dutch are good at pragmatism and loyalty, the two most important ingredients in long term relationships. In bed they are boring.
I think you should give The Dutch men a break! Dutch women aren’t the easiest women to date for a guy. They are too independent and feminist. They don’t like it when a man is sweet and romantic. Many Dutch men are very sweet and romantic
As a 100% dutch guy, I had a bit of a chuckle at 4:00 So many campains are going on here in the Netherlands because women here find it creepy if a random guy walks up to them or calls after them to tell them that they look good,.. even if they say it in a 'decent' way. in a different video of yours they said Dutch guys are very shy/drawn into themself, don`t open doors etc,.. Yea,... because we`ll get our "parts" ripped off for beeing a "masochistic swine",... just because we try to be polite, let alone if we try to let a woman know we are interested in them,..
Chivalry is dead... Of course it is. You wanted equality right? So there you have it...open your own f-ing door. Getting harrassed on the street? Your problem, not mine. Why should I help a woman, she's strong and independent, so she can take care of herself. Good luck to all of you! 🤣🤣🤣
It's not common for Dutch to show their appreciation by buying expensive gifts, your comment makes no sense! In The Netherlands it's not about how much money you have, it's the thought of someone that counts........very selfish to measure your Dutch contacts by money, sooooo North American style > golddigger
@@annemariecandyflip6531 wanting a nice gift that is not 10 euros is not golddigging, it's just not being desperate for love scraps. What do you gain defending such cheap behaviour? wearing the "Not like other girls" badge?
I have had many Dutch girlfriends. Currently im single because Corona :( Dutch girls are cool af, and really open and modern. Especially the northern dutch girls are rlly like scandinavian girls, openminded and sexual. But on the downside theyre raised masculine and behave as such. Clunky, stiff and most of the time constantly trying to impose toxic dominance. Which i never accept. Now i just date from Tinder and such because i do want to engage in intercourse with white girls, but dont wanna carry the burden of catering to a confused girl who wants to impose her values on me.
as a colombian it took me YEARS to actually start believing that in the NL there’s actual friendships between men and women without them hitting on each other eventually. It was such a cultural shock.
I'm dutch an my grandma (also very dutch) still has a hard time getting this concept. She went to a catholic girl school run by nuns and there was no way of being in friends with guys ever. I have mostly male friends (I'm a woman) and she always ask if I'm dating whoever I'm talking about. I her eyes I must have atleast 5 boyfriends at the same time at this point hahahah
Welcome to the NL
@@Shinyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy you’re sweet🤍
There is always some sexual tension that has to be worked through first. Assuming they are both straight either one at some point but usually at the beginning has regarded the other as a potential mate. But it is entirely possible that one or both of them are not attracted to each other or they have come to the conclusion that they are better of as friends.
@@lunapiensa same to you young lady. 🤭😁
I think many foreigners don't know how to recognize love when it's not given in roses and grand gestures. Once I started taking note of smaller gestures I realized many Dutchies fit into love languages like acts of service (like fixing something for you) and quality time. Not everything has to be grand or sexual and they don't expect things from you. They cherish the simple things like having you around. I think when you look at it like that, Dutchies are the purest lovers there are. We see our partner as an equal, not something to conquer.
Also, what is special about receiving flowers when you know he’d give them to any girl he’s been on dates with?
@@Natalia-nw6mf 'small' gestures that however take some time and attention and knowledge of the other person can be more valuable then generic things like flowers that you can just buy on your way to your date..
@@Natalia-nw6mf Imagine talking down on someones perspective on how they like their partner to show affection and downplaying it. Get your head out of your ass and accept that not everyone is high maintenance like you are.
Girl! What you say it is really normal in healthy relationships with healthy people.
We are talking about “romantic”
And yes. I give you something because i think on you, because i know what you like and i want to make you happy…
I want to seduce you, then i do specials things for you because you can feel how special you are for me.
And yes. I will repair what you need because i love you and i will be give you quality time because i love you and i will be around you because i also love you.
That’s normal.
@@Ameliewwoudstra Not for everyone. Normal is different for everyone. I learned it's best to just talk about what you want from one another instead of assuming some kind of 'normal'. I think it's one of the biggest pitfalls of the Dutch people. For example: 'Dat is toch normaal!' or 'Doe normaal!'.
I live with a Dutchman for 20 years. I like that he is not romantic, but very loyal. I come from Brazil, and I do not trust romantic guys, in general.
@@DelinaLei I haven't written dutch men, I said my dutchman. I do not care how other dutchmen behave, and bullshit is your comment.
@@DelinaLei buller
Go live a life!
@@DelinaLei then you should have opened a comment for yourself, and not reply my comment beginning with bullshit. I find it completely unappropriated, and offensive. I am 50 years old and I am beyond naive. Not only Dutchmen cheat. Men from other nationalities also cheat. I have a great experience of knowing girls who were cheated by their boyfriends, and husbands. Do not think because I am Latin American, I am stupid because I am not. I know men pretty well, and know from half century to distinguish right from wrong. So you do not preach me.
@@DelinaLei maybe the video is but not this specific comment. critical thinking skills damn
I'd rather have a faithfull Dutch guy than a Latin American lover who are mostly very possiesive, jealous and macho. I like down to earth men
Double Dutch (splitting the bill), having female friends as a guy, women asking guys out or to marry them, are all results of emancipation. This is one of the more equal countries, for women, in terms of chances in life.
I've dated some non-Dutch women and most of them felt I wasn't romantic, but always treated them as equals, as I think it should be in a relationship. It's a two-way street, like a conversation.
Exactly!
A relationship is a two-way street where both give their love to the other. Not some way for women to get free dinners, gifts, and other "romantics" that hold little to no meaning. If you are in a relationship you should feel comfortable with each other and not feel the need to conquer your partner.
I would even go a step beyond "double Dutch" and let everybody pay what they ordered. That is even more fair since some people might eat more or less than another person.
@@PaladinfffLeeroy The conquering part is still there when wanting to date someone, but once you're in a relationship, at should be based on mutual respect and love. If that isn't there, just split up.
We often have everyone pay for their meal when there is a larger group, but one a date it is usually a split bill. The Dutch even made an app for it, called Tikkie, where you can send people payment request as an equal share (for a group present) or everyone's personal share (for dinners).
It prevents a lot of issues within groups of friends, as leachers and parasites can't leach and be parasites.
The expression is "Going Dutch" btw. "Double Dutch" is either a jump rope game, or an expression for using both a condom and birth control pills ;)
@@Yvolve I have never split the bill on a date but I may be considered old fashioned.
Some women accept it and some won't. And if they really insist then the next date would be on them.
Equality between men and women is a misconception. It's just a sign the Dutch society is sinking.
Btw spitting the bill is just impossible over here in France. you would get slapped hahaha
In the Dutch culture there's a reluctance to showing your emotions. Like the feedback from the (lovely :) video I guess we do are very straight forward, honest, efficient, logical. Soo.. that means the other side of the coin is that therefore we are a bit boring and feel more vulnerable to show how we really feel. We can be more in our heads, than in our hearts. Sometimes that's a shame, because you lose spontaneity.
Still, it's lovely to read many people here appreciate our culture and high level of emancipation.
Telling a strange woman on the street here you want to marry her is very inappropriate here and almost considered harassment. I would not recommend doing this as a man.
I'm Dutch. I am slowly understanding that we 'as a culture' are not expressing our feelings that well. I really do think we should be more open to our feelings and don't keep our emotions in our body. For every human it can lead to anxiety and stress in the long run.
Geen idee hoor maar ik denk dat is iets uit jou kring. In mijn kring is dat heel normaal
Vergeet niet dat wij Nederlanders zeer gevarieerd zijn door ons individualisme. De kringen waarin ik mij verkeer kunnen er prima mee overweg.
@@data1.078 Daar sla je de spijker op de kop.. Ik heb me pasgeleden betrapt dat ik niet goed met emoties om kan gaan. En ik betrek het gelijk op heel Nederland... Het is wel een cultuurding (politieke figuren bv.) maar het zit gelukkig niet standaard in de opvoeding.
Exactly 👌🏻👌🏻
@@data1.078 Toch zit er wel een kern van waarheid in Biology4me's verhaal. Wij Nederlanders vind ik bepaald geen open volk: sinds een ontmoeting met een Oekraïnse jongedame hier in Nederland (waar het wel mee klikte), m'n daarop volgende vakantie in Oekraïne (nou ja, Kiëv) en de paar andere Oost-Europese types die ik kort daarna heb ontmoet, kan ik wel stellen dat wij Nederlanders inderdaad echt niet zo open zijn. Voor Oost-Europeanen is het veel normaler om, als je iemand net 10 minuten kent en er een aardig gesprek loopt, de familiefoto's uit de portemonnee tevoorschijn te halen en te laten zien wie je kinderen of ouders zijn, waar je woont en dergelijke. De gemiddelde Nederlander voelt zich dan toch al snel ongemakkelijk.
Zo kreeg ik 2 jaar terug van een Rus, nadat we er, met wat handen-en-voeten Engels en Russisch, uit waren gekomen dat hij op dezelfde trein moest stappen als ik, meteen een appel aangeboden: vóór m'n tijd in Oekraïne zou ik dat aanbod waarschijnlijk afgeslagen hebben, nu nam ik het zonder morren aan en we hebben allebei tevreden een appel weg staan werken terwijl we stonden te wachten op de trein. We waren 1, we begrepen elkaar.
In de trein pakte hij toen z'n telefoon en liet de foto's van z'n kinderen en dergelijke zien: dat is toch echt iets wat wij niet zo snel zullen doen. In Oekraïne ging ik, net een uur of zo in het land, meteen met de metro naar een kerstmarkt met die jongedame waar ik het eerder over had.
Daar aangekomen wees zij haar broer de weg naar de metro, haar zus liep even mee: ik kreeg meteen de 13-jarige dochter van haar zus, die ik net 10 minuten kende en geen engels sprak, onder m'n hoede: ik moest maar vast in het restaurant een plek zoeken, dan zou zij een paar minuten later wel aanschuiven. Nou, dát zullen we in Nederland écht niet doen denk ik...
My dutch boyfriend flew 3000 km to see me when I hadn't expected it! He is super caring in a practical way (which is damn important!), but also up to spontaneous and romantic things. I have to say that i do the same back, but also initiated often first. In fact, because I did that a few times (like some quests, riddles,etc), he got inspired and all the other times actually outbeaten me by far! Girls, they need to be melted a little 😅
Exactly this, we can be blunt and icy in the beginning, but if we fall for someone we travel to the other side of the world
"Girls, they need to be melted a little" is actually the best description of Dutch guys I have ever heard. I'm a Dutch guy btw.
My mom is Dutch and she is so straight forward. She always say, "If you love someone and that someone left you, it means it is not love." My friends asked me how my parents meet as Medan people are loud and something to be known as rude but they are not.
Well it just works that way 😄❤💘
My mother from West Java is also very loud when she speaks
Dutch women are naturally beautiful, casual, genuine, very practical and (above all) independent. Love them.
Thank you
@@liannekraaijenbrink5543I love dutch women looking for true love of my life
I'm Dutch but moved to France for my French boyfriend. He's really not like there stereotype French men you hear about. It's like he's more Dutch or something. Although he doesn't mind spending money for gifts, he will only buy me practical gifts. And so, I've never gotten flowers. We split all the dinner costs from the beginning. And we kinda kept it going for a long time. But when (in the beginning of the pandamic) I moved in and my job fell through, he paid everything for me. Of course I'm Dutch so I knew how to minimize my expenses, but still. He's very loyal, down to earth and also tall ;)
If it wasn't for his French accent you'd mistake him for a Dutch guy XD
This is an excellent channel to learn not just dutch but dutch culture.
Dank je wel!
10 euro's for your girlfriends birthday is only acceptable if you're in financial trouble or in highschool. I know it's the thought that counts, but clearly that guys also didn't put any thought into it if he's having to ask a woman last minute. If you're a grown ass man with a job get your girl a proper present that she will really like. It doesn't have to be expensive still, but if you know her well enough and listen to her you must know something to get.
Completely agree
Clearly you don't know about skittles.
The more I read this commentsection, the more I realize what an asshole I've been dating in the past.
He was making enough money to treat himself to 100-200 euro LEGO-packages or 40-euro packages off Amazon.
I don't recall ever receiving anything above 2 or 3 euro, except for a book and he purchased that for himself and told me 'I could read it when he was done.' I said; 'So it's not my birthdaypresent?' and he said 'No, it is, but it needs to stay in my house.'
Same goes for the kitchenscale he got me on Christmas, that was high-tech, but I wasn't allowed to take it home, because 'he was going to use it to weigh his food.'
@@Widdekuu91 omg that's bad...
@@Widdekuu91 Pretty sure you dated a goblin instead of person
Anthony still rocking his NCR hoodie, amazing.
Think yall are just dating strange Dutchmen. My Dutchie is incredibly sweet and romantic. He spent a year charming me, celebrating our first anniversary with a romantic weekend in Paris. He loves to give flowers and often buys them for his mother (I prefer chocolate, so that's what he gets me). His mom is part French and quite a romantic herself, so maybe that's where he got it.
they may have found thoses men on a dateapp, understandable
Mine is really nice too :)
Same! Really romantic, thoughtful, and buys me great presents that cost over 10 euros haha! And pure Dutch genes 😉
@@naomivanputten4158 lol you're naive
The French part must be doing that
My father occasionally tried and rip some flowers from the side of the road whilst driving his bike home. My mom hated the idea but loved the flowers and the gesture!
I did that for my ex, (a guy, I'm a woman) but he hated the flowers and kept whining about 'where to keep them' and would throw them back into the field and say; 'Let's go home. Now!' like I was some sortof spoiled child.
My future partner will definitely have to be appreciative of those sortof gestures from me and if he ever picks flowers from the side of the road I will very gratefully recieve them as well :D
I came from Germany to the Netherlands for 10 years and I found Dutch women excellent lovers. There is no complicated navigating around you need to put up with, everything is clear and concise, you know what you get. They are romantic, yet not dramatic. Men and women are equals in relationships on every level. More than half of my friends are female and it would seem ridiculous to me if my partner would stand in the way of these friendships, in the same way that I feel uncomfortable when a woman expects me to pay for her expenses. I can have a hard time interpreting subtle hints or indirect communication, understanding someones expectations without them being expressed verbally. None of this was ever a problem. Dutch girls are awesome :)
Emotion clouds the mind and heart … attraction sparks, but compatibility makes it work … the Dutch are clinical … drama is for inmature kids …
2:30 we do like to get flowers, it is just that we know how the cheap ones from the supermarket or gasstation look like. Those are not romantic for us, put some effort in it and go to a flowershop. Most of the times when I see a romantic movie from Hollywood I cringe when the man brings flowers to a date. They are always so cheap looking to Dutch standards. 😂
Yes absolutely true!
My husband once brought me flowers, a large bouquet of red and white roses. He had bought it from a very expensive flowershop and it was specially made up for me. It was the most romantic present I ever got. Yes we definitly see the difference with a bouquet from the AH!
What is it more important? The price of the flower (of gift) of the meaning behind? I`m not a troll I just want to meer understand dutch people.
@@davidszenasi3204 Neither. It's just the 'I've gone to some trouble for you' thing. Like 'I let them make up a bouquet especially for you, in the way and with the flowers you like'. The price is irrelevant. A very cheap supermarket bought bunch of flowers just says: I almost forgot, I only thought it worth buying one when I was in the supermarket anyway.
So it's not specially price related, more the thought and effort you put in.
I hope I've made it clear, it's not easy explaining in another language.
For example: Should you love wild flowers, and your loved one goes gathering wild flowers for you in the woods, and gives them to you, it's a very very valuable and romantic present. Even though he didn't pay for it. In money that is.
@@mariadebake5483 Yes, this was clear. Meestal I try programs make... and yes meestal flowers are part of those.
I am a Dutch girl and I got given one rose by my ex, each year for Valentinesday. He did this for 3-4 years in a row (in the last year, he hung a card with an explicit sexual proposition on it, which was not appreciated) and he always purchased the 3-euro Valentinesroses.
I asked him; 'Dearest, can you maybe get those tiny rose-bouquets from the Albert Heijn? Those are 50 cents cheaper for a starters, so that's good for your wallet and it'll make me feel a lot happier when I have something substantial to hold, rather than one rose. It just makes me feel cheap somehow, to be gifted this one rose and see the same people every year, looking at me, probably thinking, why isn't he stepping up his game or something? As if I'm giving away myself for one rose, which I basically am a little.'
But he (an asshole) was afraid that if he'd step up his game, that he'd make things harder on himself and that I would start demanding more roses or gifts. As if he was bombarding me with them at that moment (...as I mentioned, I was gifted one a year.)
Either way, after the breakup I decided to buy myself a bouqet for around 15 euros and as long as I don't fall into poverty I will keep treating myself with them.
5:00 "They are efficient" Damn straight, and dont you forget it!
I work for a Netherland based company and I have many dutch colleagues who I interact on daily basis.. a indts so true they are very direct.. in the beginning I found it rude to be so direct but after working for more than 3 years with them I really appreciate their directness.. No drama straightforward....
deep down they're really caring about your wellbeing :)
Love the NCR hoodie!
Humbly, he smiles & buffs his nails on his shirt........(hehehe) The Netherlands was such a fun place to visit as a young soldier/tourist.
Ok guys, enough about Dutch men, what’s your experience with Dutch women?
What I hear from my French boyfriend is that I'm pretty romantic in that I want to do everything with him, involve him in everything. But my need for organising and scheduling is pretty annoying. XD
Every video is like:
The Dutch don't like to spent money on this.
The Dutch don't like to spent money on that.
The Dutch don't like to spent money on this either.
The moral of the story, Dutch people knows to save. Those are some statements from theirs experience. :)
@@rainesaffire1171😂😂😂😂😂
Don't expect Dutch men to be very courtful and romantic, they're not Italians! Maybe dull but at least they're not jealous and macho
Just down to earth. Equal, it comes with less romance
4:54 That covers it completely!
I have to say as an expat, I experienced the best moment of my life but another the worst. But like lady says at the beginning, even partnership may not happen 😂
So true!!! 0:35, 5:37 Yes, definitely!!! they talk a lot and always make you feel secure and they go right into the point :)
I don´t think much about nationality. Some are better than others everywhere. Memories of Dutch men are all good, but I have travelled quite a lot and am old now.
on your profilepicture you dont look old at all :
yes, not looking that old
@@draco3970 It´s an old photograph. I don´t get photographed very often and it was the only one I could find; I´ve never bothered to change it, but thank you anyway for the compliments.
@@SiegfriedDeniz Thank you for the compliment. I could only find an old photograph, so am older now.
I am 100% dutch, the thing is, dutch men and woman are equals. that's how you also see each other and learn from when u are born, as girls and guys do practically the same thing and are also mixed from early age in everything. This results in guys and woman being friends from a young age all the way to the end.
A guy going with a girlfriend of somebody else to some party or vacation isn't something weird because of that. Girls and guys going on vacations without eachother and joining other people is also not uncommon.
Dutch kids also get learned from the day they start to move into school ( male and female ) that they have to take care of themselves first. Which means men or woman are not dependend on each other for money. Even if the woman for example is broke and wants out, there is no control over the woman because she can get money from the state to move out and take care of herself.
This results in dutch woman and men only going and staying in a relationship when they both agree with it. And that also means both will do effort to maintain it. It's not a one way direction u see in other cultures. Dates are basically rapidfire questions on what u like and what u don't like and people look it they are compatible and then move forwards so people know straight away if they like it.
This could look cold or a business contract to outsiders, but its a extremely efficient way to have a relationship that basically requires both people to do effort in it.
I personally have many girlfriends as male, married ones also. It's completely normal. They are just your buddy's and u interact towards them the same way.
Then about paying for bills for example, one person just pays if you are in a group, sends everybody a whatsapp with a pay request and prices from everybody, and u pay that person. Everybody pays there own stuff. Which means if you don't got a lot of money u just order less or cheaper stuff and nobody looks down on you. U get what u can afford.
If you start to become the person that wants to pay everything, u won't be long in that group because nobody likes braggers. This is also why u have doctors and truckers basically being friends something u barely see anywhere else. As people don't identify themselves with there profession and income.
Silke has a slight Dutch accent for being a German.
@4:44 Hmmmm, as a Dutchie I think that one may lead to some disappointment if the subtle differences in circumstances are not well understood.
Although I agree it's common to 'go Dutch' in the Netherlands ;) Whether it's custom to split the bill may depend on:
Who is asking who to dinner?
How was it phrased; is it a question or an invitation?
What are your intentions?
To what extend is the relationship-status clear?
Etcetera.
For example; if you say; "Hey I'm hungry, you too? Would you like to share a meal?", then sure you can split the bill. Also does not seem likely you're having a crush on him/her. Could be, maybe you're just shy or something. But most likely you're just friends, grabbing some dinner. As indeed: men and women can be in Netherlands. No problem!
But if you say something along the lines of "I'd like to invite you to dinner" and particularly if your intentions appear romantic and (s)he also thinks it's actually a date.... Then (s)he may be quite surprised and disappointed if the check comes and you're not paying for it. Some may even feel offended, but may not let it show. If (s)he is like me, (s)he may be inclined to pay half, but may not be so inclined to start dating you. Not necesarrly out of spite, but because it seems the intentions were misinterpreted. Must be you were just trying to become friends, though in a bit of a clumsy way.
Me personally, I tend to keep things simple. If I invite someone to dinner, I'm paying. If someone tells me (s)he's taking me out for dinner, I'm assuming it's his/her treat. No romantic inclinations necessary. I do have friends who favor splitting bills and that's fine, but it's not my preference. Particularly whenever I meet up with someone on a regular basis, be it friend/co-worker/familymember, I actually think it's less of a hassle than splitting the bill or transferring money each time. Usually people automatically start taking turns picking up the bill. Moreover: treating eachother is way more fun!
As a Dutch guy I'm so very confused when I hear people talk about how you can't be friends with the opposite gender. Apparently it's a big cultural thing in many countries, but it just doesn't make sense to me. Who would be friends with gay people than? Or bisexual people?
As a side note: Many of the points raised here are generally true as far as I know, but there are plenty Dutch people that diverge from the norm. For instance: I always offer to pay on a first date, I just check with my date what they prefer. The romance things (like holding a door or bringing flowers) are generally considered unnecessary and old fashioned, but some people like old fashioned romance here. I had dates in the past where I stepped up my game a bit to romance it up, but not before she communicated to me what she wanted, because I'm no mindreader. I like that we Dutch people are generally pretty big on communication, but I think we should still communicate more. Especially in relationships and dating settings.
My dad buys my mom flowers like every week haha
What a noob
I’ve had lots of Dutch female partners and so far my current GF is the ONLY one who is SLIGHTLY romantic. It’s just never taught here..
Most of us don't believe in romanticism, we believe in love. Romanticism can be faked, love can't.
Romance.. something from American movies where the man is a loser and the woman gets all.
Nope. Sorry don't understand it
Man and a woman shoud be equal.. and just have fun have respect. Help each other.. etc that is so much more important
@@blackdaan You can be equal but still have a spicy relationship. That's why i strongly dislike hanging out with dutchies because they break their minds over the concept of unconditional love. You do something nice, they must repay you or worse, they do something nice and something MUST be traded for in return. blegh.
3:20 about that.... 100% dutch right here and im very cuddly, but i do like my alone time as well
As a Dutch woman, if I don't like the guy I date, I'll pay everything, just to get rid of him. If I like the guy, I'll let him decide. If he wants to split, fine by me, if he wants to treat me to it, also fine.
Oh 😍 gaan we trouwen?
@@piellamp Jij loopt wel erg hard van stapel 🤣
@@PsychoDonkeyy ja😂 zal ik je men nummer geven dan kunnen we de trouw al plannen
@@piellamp ah joh, dat kan ook hier toch?
@@PsychoDonkeyy nou goed😂 op welke datum trouwen we dan?
2:29 that's a good point. You can indeed buy a great bouquet of flowers for 10 eur or sometimes less, but if you bring those for your date it's kinda like you are cheap because you just bought some flowers. Flowers here in NL are indeed not that special.
Oh my god! What a bad experience they have with the Dutch love. Dutch people are the best lovers in the world 😜
"When you first start dating someone you have to ask if it's an open or closed relationship".
Uhh excuse me ma'am, who tf are you dating? 🤨 I'm inclined to think that's really just who they happened to attract...Then again I, a native Dutchie, am dating a British guy XD
Im a Filipina from the Philippines dating a Dutch guy online. We have known each other since last yr, became friends first before becoming a couple. We havent meet yet because of the pandemic. Its true what some of them said like expect your partner to have other girl friends/buddies. I told my bf if Im the jealous type I think it will be an issue, him being too friendly haha. And the other one where if theres a problem theyre want to tackle the issue and afterwards its done. Its ok for me since I also dont want too much drama haha. And yes, theyre really frank and straightforward which is refreshing for me because most Filipinos avoid direct confrontation. Either we want to maintain peace or we are worried to offend anyone. So even if its not really okay , we just say yes so the discussion will finally end. With the Dutch its exact opposite. There are pros and cons of course, like I dont need to second guess his response. The cons is too much information sometimes hahahaha
Good luck with your relationship:)! I’m sure will be alright because you get to know each other well before meeting. Lots of time to chat before physical. That’s kind of romantic in itself haha.
My Filipina thinks the same as you, haha she's coming here for xmas this year (we met during the pandemic online too!) Here hoping your relationship turns out just as great as ours :)
Tinay, do dutch men fall in love too fast too soon?
i totally agree with what you said. i hate confrontations for the reasons that i am afraid that the other person might get offended and that i just really want to maintain peace and not stain our relationship
What a nonses. Every country has it's own thing. Do you fall for someone who gives you flowers or do you fall for someone you feel more connected too.
And asking a stranger to marry you.. how many times does that succeed?
Anyway. what i learn here is that they are more into what you have and what you can give instead of a good connection. we call them golddiggers
I know, right?!
That Iranian woman seems way more materialistic than a Dutch woman.
A good connection and feeling at peace like equals is more important than gifts and wealth.
Sure, wealth is handy because it makes living easier but wealth =/= love.
Stupid and super facial women go for money and are measuring the 'love' of their man in money and gifts: how dumb they are! It's the meaning that counts not the worth of a gift. Spoiled little, immature brats do think this way. It's pathetic and shallow!
@@PaladinfffLeeroy Well, it is not a surprise considering Iranian women get the most nose jobs of any population in the world. As a Southern Indian, I did not have much issues with my Austrian wife. Though I did have to tell my in laws not to buy so many random toys for our daughter.
Dad died a couple of days ago
From what I've heard from mom, i'd argue that yes, definitely, there are good loving men here
They had been together for 34 years
Gecondoleerd 😘
@@frietjedemeeuw9591 dank je wel ❤️
I am sorry for your loss. I also lost my father few years ago. Dating and relationship is very difficult truly, i believe they are always someone out there for us. It just has to be the right time, right place.
@@xw6475 thank you. And i agree.
They had been together for 34 years and they contrasted and completed each other so beautifully. I am having a though time, but mum... Oh poor mum
@@jezusbloodie I understand. 34 Years is long and grief is 1 of the most difficult emotions to go through. Please stand by her side and support her emotionally. She needs you
After trying Dutch the rest ain't much. 😎🤣🤣🤣
I'm married to one and is very sweet
I understand what they are getting at. At the same time defining how romantic somrthing is on the basis of how much money is spent is also a bit ridiculous if you stop and think of it. That you think it is 'weird' that guys do not wish to spend copious amounts of money on you or buy you perfume, jewelry every bday is completely understandable.
Wait. Is Isabel from Brasil single? How can that happen?
When I asked a woman for a date, I offered the question of me paying or 50/50. The first is fine if she's playing it old-fashioned, but with the latter I'd like to offer recognition of her independance and that I see her as my equal. If she askes me, I ask if she wants to pay or go 50/50. You'd be suprised I never paid it full myself and at leat half of the time we splitted.
Hahah no man. Just pay for the meal first time. Later on when you are boyfriend and girlfriend, then you can start to split.
@@hallo80510 my experiences differ.
@@hallo80510 Hussling yourself out of money to pay free dinner for random women that might end up being your partner. Good job.
@@hallo80510 To me it makes sense to pay for your girlfriend but not for a first date. Why would I pay for a stranger when we are both there for the same thing ie to find if we match?
My first date (current gf) she paided LOL 😆
Are Dutch guys good lovers. At 1:00..guy: ‘yeah.’ Girl next to him: ‘Huh, how do you know?’ Oeps 😂
I have a ...date with 2 dutch neighbours womans, and they 2 have a men. They mens knowing from me and ist not a problem.
Oh my God, I laughed out Loud at 2:30
I dont agree with what they say when they say Dutch are not romantic. After living here for almost a year and dating a Dutch for 3 years I can't agree. They are romantic it's just that they don't go out in the obvious, it's more about small daily things than about getting us flowers. Plus, I'd say that saying they aren't cuddly isn't true either I just have noticed they are way more to themselves and its not that they do it out in public but they keep it for private moments
Am I the only one who has a slight crush on Anthony? He is a handsome guy! ❤️
You're not the only one! Yes I have too, he's absolutely very handsome
There is many different kind of Dutch men and women . Not all Dutch are same. Not every Dutch is straight and frugal or non-romantic.
I am Dutch and watching this I am like what the fuuuck lol
Do you have female friends?
Ladies, I found a true Dutch gem! Extremely sweet and helpful, super smart. Waited a while to make sure he loves me before he said so, proposed 1.5 year later and a year after that we got married in church in my birth city (Poland). He is so much not the stereotypical Dutchie - always gentleman, very traditional, appreciating family, believing in true love with no divorce, and that things are done in order (marriage first, then kids). In top of that his family is awesome and they accepted me like a daughter 😊 I am traditional myself and never thought I would get married to a Dutchie, but I could not have been luckier ❤️
Lots of Dutch guys are still like that, just do not look in the large cities for them ;D
@@muurrarium9460 hard to do when you live in Amsterdam yourself ;-)
@@Anna-sb4zk Get out of the city :)
The intercity will bring you near nicer guys in about an hour. Or two.
(Don't pick Utrecht as your hunting ground, we have a surplus of females because of all the 'soft studies', so the competition is fierce here! ;) )
@@muurrarium9460 oh, I'm already married so hopefully your advice can serve someone else ;) greetings from Mexico 😊
@@Anna-sb4zk Congrats on finding a keeper! (Yes I know you did, I was just talking.)
I am always happy if people find that special person they want to belong to and stay with for a long long (life) time.
(And secretly proud that your 'keeper' is a Dutch person. ;) )
I hope you will be happy always!
As a Dutch woman, I enjoy these videos so much. They always make me smile, especially when the participants have so much fun over our weird habits.
I'm curious, how do foreigners experience our tolerant culture towards the lgbtq community? Is it a big culture shock, for example, to see a same sex couple kiss each other on the streets? Or meeting a couple or seeing them holding hands? To us it is quite common to see this by now. I'm wondering how foreigners experience this.
It’s common in Miami too, so I didn’t care when I visited Netherlands.
I haven't seen many lgtbi community outside Amsterdam and I've lived in Hilversum and Apeldoorn, so maybe outside the big cities, it is very traditional country. I think that the real cultural shock is when you realise that The Netherlands (in general) is very different outside Amsterdam.
@Zarrex ah I see! Yes I've been to Miami and it's very modern so I can imagine there's not a great taboo in that city.
@Andrea Duran thanks for your reply, that's interesting, what stood out most when you left Amsterdam?
Hello Im a Filipina and I only hear about Dutch culture etc from my Dutch bf Im dating online. Not really a shock about LGBTQ since there are members of LGBTQ here and I have some friends. Though I notice you tend to see lesbian couple walking hand in hand and most people are I guess used to it compared to a gay couple. What is shocking is the sex store, sex museam, a theater where they do live sex performance or something. I told him im glad he share it to me or else when I finally migrated to NL, my eyes will be out their sockets in no time haha
I don't see any difference between the French and Dutch re: "distance", the French are not so Latin as they think they are!
Are they also direct when in online dating?
I'm African but sure with my energy serious
My neck does hurt. I'm 170 cm, he's 195 cm.
Yes, Dutch people are tall
Kisses at/near the bottom of the stairs are the best
Okay.. What does all that talk about flowers have to do with the question if the Dutch are good lovers !?
Why should a guy spend much money on a girl but not the other way around? It’s amazing to me to see people say that the guy does not spend enough money on the woman whilst they themselves have not even spend 1 Euro on the guy themselves.
10 euro's for your girlfriends birthday O.o, i dont think that is normal unless youve been giving her presents all year round, and im from the netherlands. usually i would take her out for dinner, or do something she likes to do or get her something she likes, but 10 euro's is just low (unless youre a teenager and get payed like 3 euro's an hour)
Yeah....the more you spend on someone the more you love them right? Love/romance = money!!!
Ffs.
🤣🤣🤣
@@despayre3914 im not saying more money spend means more love/romance, but just giving her something like 10 euro's is just not right. youve got to dress it up a bit. it should not be about the money and a bit more intimate, for example like i said take her out for dinner, or go do something fun together like a date.
@@1992dragonblade Still.....it will cost. So it's basically all about money. It all boils down to that. Being in your company is not enough......you HAVE to give something, more than 10 euro, even dress it up a bit.......yeah I know, they love it.....but ffs come on........or take her out on a date/diner. Money.....not romance.
No matter how people bring it, nobody talks him/her self out of this. 🤣
Everytime again i think: why do these people live here, they are rather negative then positive. Most of them are so negative and tell bullshit. Like Antony, its rather about a good deal than about love. What the fuck, it’s the opposit. And like the french guy, never heart him say something he really liked in or about the Netherlands. Arrogancy is a french invention, i know, but what does he achieves with it? I see in every country i visit something nice, but these people are making fun of everything or don’t like it.
Are my feelings hurt? Not at all, but it’s a pitty for themselves and it comes not in handy if you want to connect to dutch people. And it makes me wonder: why do you live here and what do you want to achieve with your negative attitude?
In my opinion dutch guys are hard workers , trustworthy, not jealouse, genuine, good helpers in and around the house, they care about you and your feelings, good listeners, equal in the relation. Can they do anything better, ofcourse! A little bit more romantic or do there best when you go out.
Note: luckely not everyone is so negative, the Guy from scotland was nice also the colombian was positive.
Ten euro's to spend on your lover is not common. I've spend thousands on my girl. And i'm as dutch as you can get them.
Beter dat ze werkt.
Toppertje
Mi novio no es romántico pero tiene muchos detalles le gusta que esté bien. hablamos todos los días . El sabe que me gusta besarlo abrazarlo y el se deja . Nos complementamos . Yo soy Peruana y el Holandés y nos llevamos bien hemos viajado aquí y pronto estaremos juntos en Holanda
10 euro for flowers at AH? You'd need 5 euro at most there, and they really crap flowers....
Two co-workers of mine think a Dutch partner is simply out of my reach and should go for someone from my origin instead. While they have no problem that my sister is married to a Dutch guy. Ugh, the biggest nonsense I have ever heard.
Im glad you and your co-workers get along.
Your coworkers sound weird
Grappig.
Not really, they are kind if stiff.
I m single man 36 year
I love dutsh women
I live in morocco
Looking for true love of my life
I am wondering what was meant by "100% Dutch"? Who is 100% of something?
What?
They meant someone whose ethnicity is 100% Dutch. Let say, someone has a Dutch mother but a Japanese father, you would say they are 50% Dutch and 50% Japanese.
@@sofienummers thank you, much appreciated. I am a researcher and part of my work focuses on ethnicity and migration related issues (this doesn`t mean that I know it all or what I think is the only truth). This was the main reason why the expression "100% Dutch" stood out to me the most when I watched the video. Ethnicity is a such a complex concept and I disagree that someone`s ethnicity could be simply defined by the (estimated) percentages of that person`s genes. It includes history, religion, sociopolitical dynamics and it can change depending on the sociopolitical circumstances. Based on your example, let`s say the person who has a Dutch mother and a Japanese father was born in the Netherlands. His mother is from a small village in South and was raised up as a catholic and his father does not have a religious background, was born in Tokyo, studied in America and migrated to the Netherlands for work and met his Dutch wife. They live in Amsterdam and the child goes to an international school (have got mostly international friends). All these factors influence how (strongly) this child would identify with Dutch/ Japanese/ American values (hence his ethnic identity).
@@sofienummers Many people across the world will use this expression, but I always found its usage odd. One could have Asian and African parents and still be 100% Dutch. A lot of people however seem to conflate nationality with ethnicity -- albeit out of benign or malignant reasons.
Bij dit filmpje voel ik me geen eens een Nederlander meer.. zal misschien de leeftijd zijn(62).
Goed.
Depends on the Dutchie. I'm Canadian married to a Dutchman. He's romantic and sentimental and gives the most thoughtful gifts. He's more gentle than the overly direct and judgmental culture he comes from.
That’s the most condescending comment you could make about his background. Ironic as you’re being judgmental too.
Please consider that this particular Canadian might have experienced the behavior of plenty of Dutchies and selected this particular Dutchie for marriage because of his above average characteristics. It happens when one goes for the best match and not for the random. Aren’t you an individual too?
@@sander2723 Yes I agree. She made a very judgemental comment about our culture and us
Thanks for the compliment. But not really
Im dutch and j agree, we are very judgemental its sickening. That part i dont miss
The 10 euro birthday gift boyfriend tho... im dutch and id be upset at that, unless he has no job or sth then i understand. I mean i dont need golden watches or something but dont be so stingy with me for my birthday as to do that. Kind of insulting really.
The first woman was not wrong 😅
Talking about Dutch men. What about the girls?
Dutch men are very respectful , nice but not gallant and sexually they are very cold
Very cold? I don't agree. Maybe yours was/is, but there are many who are really not cold at all.
Not more respectful or galant than somewhere else .
@@mariadebake5483 my dutch partner is not cold at all i speak about the others, otherwise explain me why there are so many dutch women who prefer guys from Suriname and so much female sex tourism in Gambia...
I'd rather have the Dutch way than a romatic, possesive jealous, unfaithfull macho man from Italy > it's simply not working
@@annemariecandyflip6531 Yes I totally agree. I am a Dutch woman and I definitly prefer Dutch men. I am married to one of them!
Not a good impression of the Dutch, it depence how the relation is
Yes but thats with all relationships, everyone is still an individual
If by good lovers you mean good at sex, then no. If you mean good at long term relationships then yes. The dutch are good at pragmatism and loyalty, the two most important ingredients in long term relationships. In bed they are boring.
Yesh. The most peerverted nation on earth
I think you should give The Dutch men a break! Dutch women aren’t the easiest women to date for a guy. They are too independent and feminist. They don’t like it when a man is sweet and romantic. Many Dutch men are very sweet and romantic
“Open about sexlife” first thing students ask their mates when they see each other at school on Monday is “en… nog geneukt dit weekend?”
Oh, this explains why so many Brazilians go to Ireland!
As a 100% dutch guy, I had a bit of a chuckle at 4:00
So many campains are going on here in the Netherlands because women here find it creepy if a random guy walks up to them or calls after them to tell them that they look good,.. even if they say it in a 'decent' way.
in a different video of yours they said Dutch guys are very shy/drawn into themself, don`t open doors etc,..
Yea,... because we`ll get our "parts" ripped off for beeing a "masochistic swine",... just because we try to be polite, let alone if we try to let a woman know we are interested in them,..
Chivalry is dead...
Of course it is. You wanted equality right? So there you have it...open your own f-ing door. Getting harrassed on the street? Your problem, not mine. Why should I help a woman, she's strong and independent, so she can take care of herself.
Good luck to all of you! 🤣🤣🤣
The french guy is single again...
All dutch people are the same.
They are not my cup of thea.......
No...! Dutchman are not good lovers...! Good loving means: good laying...
No same sex partners here?
Generalizations are hardly ever useful .
No they aren 't .
I notice that LGBT never configures in any of your videos. It's as if gay people don't exist in Bart de Pau's universe.
If your "boss" can only spend 10 euro on his gf's birthday present you probably work in the charity sector.
It's not common for Dutch to show their appreciation by buying expensive gifts, your comment makes no sense! In The Netherlands it's not about how much money you have, it's the thought of someone that counts........very selfish to measure your Dutch contacts by money, sooooo North American style > golddigger
@@annemariecandyflip6531 wanting a nice gift that is not 10 euros is not golddigging, it's just not being desperate for love scraps. What do you gain defending such cheap behaviour? wearing the "Not like other girls" badge?
😁😁😁😁
I have had many Dutch girlfriends.
Currently im single because Corona :(
Dutch girls are cool af, and really open and modern. Especially the northern dutch girls are rlly like scandinavian girls, openminded and sexual.
But on the downside theyre raised masculine and behave as such. Clunky, stiff and most of the time constantly trying to impose toxic dominance. Which i never accept. Now i just date from Tinder and such because i do want to engage in intercourse with white girls, but dont wanna carry the burden of catering to a confused girl who wants to impose her values on me.
You sound like an insecure guy who suffers from toxic masculinity syndrome.
yea well, if you're looking for a dependant girl you shouldn't be looking here 😅
Selfish lovers.....;)
Yes